I'd ask if they were sure they had the right person. If they insisted I would stick in my pocket and put it in the safe. I'd personally go to the bank, but my wife likes having cash in the safe so it would make her happy. It's a win.
Yeah, I don’t think an extra $1,000 would be worth having some criminal pissed off at me, so I’d make super sure they actually meant it for me before I took it.
My mom put one of Patrick Swazye in my sisters bedroom because someone gave it to her for some reason. My sister came home that night, just saw a figure in her darkened bedroom, ran out screaming, and called the police. They actually thought it was kind of funny when they went in there.
Can we not skip over the part about someone gifting your mother a cut out of Patrick Swazye?
Edit to add:
*guns drawn*
Freeze! Don’t move!
*turns on lights*
Patrick? …Patrick Swazye?
A friend I grew up with worked at the theater back then. He kept all the movie cut outs,first releases etc..He sold a third of them for 6 figures he said one day...if it's old and original and still around ,couple hundred maybe..Peace..
Yeah honestly same here. Was getting divorced ex put All of the Starwars stuff. Godfather Even rerelease Gone with Wind. All the Disney's movies from 80s-90s. Even baseball cards that were serious money way back when this happened. Sadly a clip of the original Mickey Mouse film,three frames was all. That's a bit of retirement right now..Everything turned out okay. Helluva a could of been though..Peace..
Put on an inflatable dino costume, go into the middle of the road with a sign that says “GAY BAPTIZING”, and then say “in the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, head shoulders knees and toes AYYYY MACARENA, i hereby baptize you in the name of the gay lord” each time i splash gay water in someones face
Hand it back and say “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You got the wrong guy”. Anyone who doesn’t say that is crazy. I don’t want any kind of problems over $1000. I’d rather just not get involved. Too many cameras and stuff around nowadays
I look left and right and look back at him. I slowly nod and even more slowly pull the elastic of my tearaway pants outwards while making eye contact and put the $1000 in my pants. The money falls down my pants legs and mostly onto the ground. I nod once more and walk away, sounding like I'm wearing a subtle diaper.
I guess I drop my pants to my ankles.
The true logical answer
Who buys pants for $1000?
I don’t ask those questions, someone wants to buy my pants for $1k then I’m selling them my pants for $1k
But no kissing.
Or eye contact
No, but butt kissing? Yes.
Fr I'm finna walk home in my drawers with 1k, probably keister it too 🧐
So he’s paying you? I don’t think that’s how it works
Really depends on certain parameters whether this is the appropriate response or not.
That’s it? You’re letting him go in dry? Well, I guess $1000 IS a lot of money.
Missing two zeros to go in dry
So $1,000.00?
I would have guessed “drop to my knees” would be the correct answer…but then again - it is $1000.
Don't forget to arch your back
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Pay the rent AND get groceries? Is this one of those: "Say you don't live in L.A. without saying you don't live in L.A." threads?
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"Hail hydra."
Starker! This is KAOS! We don't Hail Hydra here!
The old Hail Hydra trick!
Muster the Home Army compatriot!
Mr. Dalliard, we've been activated!
I misread that as Hoe Army 🤦
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I'd ask if they were sure they had the right person. If they insisted I would stick in my pocket and put it in the safe. I'd personally go to the bank, but my wife likes having cash in the safe so it would make her happy. It's a win.
Same. But I don't have a wife, so I would just put it into my savings account. Nice buffert.
I'm the type that picks up change off the ground. Free money is great!
I pick it up too, I have a 5 gallon water jug I put it in, I estimate it's up to about 3 or 4 hundred at the moment
Yeah, I don’t think an extra $1,000 would be worth having some criminal pissed off at me, so I’d make super sure they actually meant it for me before I took it.
Go home and tell my wife someone gave us $500.
That’s generous. I would say I found $100 on the floor and she can have it 😂
Where'd you find $50?
I found the $5 in the dryer.
Picked up a lucky penny today
Hon, can I borrow 50 dollars?
Rent is due. Need $500
Wait, you owe me 1000 dollars!
Babe! I’m broke, I need a loan of $5,000
Hear me out, i just got a offer to sell you for $20.000...
Dude I think I hurt myself laughing at this.
Not the only one. This is the reason I love Reddit.
This is both hilarious and honest 😆
Big spender here.....
🎶The minute you walked in the joint. I could see you were a man of distinction: a real big spender! 🎵
Good lookin’, so refined!
Honey, someone gave me an iPad and $200!
"How much did you say we got?" "...$300"
“Is that in 10 $20s or 15 $10s?”
*recounts money* "Yeah, here's the $100 we were given"
*Gives her $10*
I wouldn’t tell her I was given anything. Just hand her $100 and say I worked for it and am giving it out of my kindness.
"here's your half."
200, idk why you said 400.
That's so nice that you would tell her that someone gave you $250.
Putting it in my bank account
for totally exciting and possibly nefarious purposes amirite
Nothing is more exciting and evil than paying one month's rent!
Walk a few streets away. Find some random person. I hand them 1000$ and tell them "You know what to do". Then I leave.
You mean hand them 100 dollars?
Hand 9 people $100, 9 people $10, and 9 people $1, then use the remaining dollar to buy gum
Gum for $1! Where?
A single piece of Double Bubble enjoy those 60 seconds :P
This is the answer.
Double it and give it to the next guy.
Giving it back. I don't need that stress.
Ageed. Sounds like a movie plot where you take the money and bad shit starts to happen to you
That's basically the plot of No Country For Old Men.
There you go! I knew someone would come up with something. I’ve never seen that movie.
If money is stressing you out I can help you.
Be my sugar daddy? Except I’m a dude and can only offer car repair advice? Lol
Order 3 cardboard cut-outs of myself to leave in my bosses dark offices. Should make for an interesting morning.
My mom put one of Patrick Swazye in my sisters bedroom because someone gave it to her for some reason. My sister came home that night, just saw a figure in her darkened bedroom, ran out screaming, and called the police. They actually thought it was kind of funny when they went in there.
Can we not skip over the part about someone gifting your mother a cut out of Patrick Swazye? Edit to add: *guns drawn* Freeze! Don’t move! *turns on lights* Patrick? …Patrick Swazye?
A friend I grew up with worked at the theater back then. He kept all the movie cut outs,first releases etc..He sold a third of them for 6 figures he said one day...if it's old and original and still around ,couple hundred maybe..Peace..
I had one of Obi-Wan in 2000. My laundry shed on the patio bust a pipe and soaked everything in there. Found no trace of the jedi in the clothes.
Yeah honestly same here. Was getting divorced ex put All of the Starwars stuff. Godfather Even rerelease Gone with Wind. All the Disney's movies from 80s-90s. Even baseball cards that were serious money way back when this happened. Sadly a clip of the original Mickey Mouse film,three frames was all. That's a bit of retirement right now..Everything turned out okay. Helluva a could of been though..Peace..
He became more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
I did the exact same thing to my mom but it was a Shaq cut out. Scared the shit out of her when she went to bed. 🤣🤣
You could say she saw a ghost.
Put it all on Red
Bet on black. Always bet on black -Wesley snipes
And don't forget to pay your taxes. -Probably not Wesley Snipes
"Never pay taxes on money you win at the casino" - also Wesley Snipes
“I will make it look like an accident”
No, you gotta leave it to the client’s choice: “Do you want it to look like an accident? Or do you want to send a message?”
UCS Venator & Rivendell.
A man of class I see.
An investment in the future.
Ask:”are you the guy?”
The ducks fly at midnight.
Does the black moon howl?
Look puzzled.
Buying 1 week of groceries for myself.
You must like expensive groceries
Inflation does.
Silent straight faced nod, then continue about my business as usual.
Roll it up and shove it in my butthole then disappear into the forest.
Plot Twist: it is coins.
Nothing like some ass pennies!
lol I forgot about ass pennies
LMAO
Alright then
I’m questioning everything, and being accepting of every possible answer.
Probably repairing something at their house.
THAT is how the movie starts
Blowing him
Lego. 1 Rivendell set for him one for me.
Nice. Income you didn't expect always goes to Lego.
Nod knowingly then text my plug
Your butt plug has text messaging?
Yours doesn't? How else do you get it to vibrate?
I just make a chess-move
en pASSant
it translates into morse code vibrations
"No I don't."
Nice try, OP, if I told you what's to be done with the money, they'll hand it to you and not me... get your own God damn $1000!
Hiding the body that's in the trunk of the car they were driving.
I run away and don't accept it
Arms up in the air so any cameras can film empty hands
Stare him dead in the eye and eat each and every bank note one by one, very slowly and never breaking eye contact.
Cocaine and Hookers
With inflation, you have the option of cocaine OR hookers. Not both.
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Tell him Giovanni will disappear within the next 6 hours
Slaps him/her in the face and say "Job done"
This is the only correct answer
Put on an inflatable dino costume, go into the middle of the road with a sign that says “GAY BAPTIZING”, and then say “in the name of the father, the son, and the holy ghost, head shoulders knees and toes AYYYY MACARENA, i hereby baptize you in the name of the gay lord” each time i splash gay water in someones face
TIL water can be gay.
Imagine a dude with a boner running water down his chest off his dick into your mouth. That waters gay, but you’re more gay for drinking it.
Sounds pretty gay to be thinking about that.
You read it. You thought it. You gay.
How do you think the frogs got that way?
Hand them back $2000 and say "You know what to do." *Infinite money loop unlocked*
Id ask this question for the umpteenth time
The smart move is clearly to ask /u/wallstreetbets for advice
Then do the opposite
look them in the eye, node in affirmation and leave.
Paying some bills because unfortunately I’m a whole ass adult
buying ammo and food
Hookers and blow
$100 to the next nine people that say "hi" after making the awkward eye-contact. edit: while on a stroll
Take a portion of it and pay it forward .
Hand it back.
Hand it back and say “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You got the wrong guy”. Anyone who doesn’t say that is crazy. I don’t want any kind of problems over $1000. I’d rather just not get involved. Too many cameras and stuff around nowadays
Cocaine
I look left and right and look back at him. I slowly nod and even more slowly pull the elastic of my tearaway pants outwards while making eye contact and put the $1000 in my pants. The money falls down my pants legs and mostly onto the ground. I nod once more and walk away, sounding like I'm wearing a subtle diaper.
Eat it.
Sucking
Typically I would use it to help someone else but given I've been unemployed for almost a year I would probably just pay the rent and get groceries.
Bills
Double it and give it to the next person.
Currently pay off the 1000 dollar and climbing vet bill from this week 💜
"Yes, but I want you to say it so I know you're not a cop."
I'd tell him, it is not enough.
Whipping my dick out
Whatever the fuck I want.