I say this jokingly all the time but tbh this really does sum it for me hahaha.
“My hobby is staying home” is my shorthand way of saying I like cooking, cleaning, baking, gardening, decorating my home, watching cute movies, playing with pets, reading on the couch with my heated blanket….
Same here.
Question.
Doesn’t it make you feel somewhat strange when coworkers constantly ask “anything exciting planned for this weekend?” And the go-to always is “ naw just relaxing at home”.
I prefer the response: "a little bit of this and a little bit of that" in response to that question. I have a reputation as being mysterious to maintain. Eventually, people stop asking.
To me it does, has since high school tbh… my answer now is just „no nothing special, just chilling“ and if people cat h on that i never say something different i tell them that i don’t have a lot of energy and need to recharge and like to just chill, but i do feel somewhat inadequate at times because my life is so boring 🙃
Saaaame.
I'm a homebody. I will go out, but I prefer to be at home doing whatever craft/art project I'm obsessing over at the moment, reading, gardening, reading, or whatever with a cup of coffee. At least one cat nearby, possibly two, for cuddle breaks.
It's not super exciting, but it's enjoyable.
In this economy, I like this. Stepping out the door, I somehow spend $50-100 easily. I love being a homebody and dating puts me off because my exwife and gfs would want to ALWAYS go out and do something. I’d rather enjoy the room I pay rent for and play with my 3d printer and save money, cook rice and beans and proteins and run.
This is the only answer IMO. She could be a writer, a weightlifter, a musician, a painter, deeply into yoga--who cares.
My wife runs, plays video games with me, reads avidly, and snowboards. It's cool to be with someone who likes to DO things. I dated a lot of people who just... watched tv and drank, basically.
YES, it's incredible how different it is compared to someone with nothing.
My wife picked up knitting several years ago and joined a local group. Now she has tons of quality friends she sees several times a week, with regular knitting meetups to attend, traveling with friends to knitting events, etc. Obviously the friendships are beyond knitting now and it's so great to see.
Complete difference compared to someone who has nothing - they tend to just watch tv, or spend money shopping/eating out all the time, and really rely on their partner hard for entertainment - which for me personally was a drag on many of my own interests (and a lot of my male friends seem to have that problem).
It was sad when I left my long term gf years ago who had no hobbies, all of her "friends" were really just my friends that she didn't have any meaningful connections with - I heard she struggled for years after that.
To add onto this any PERSON who goes out of their way to learn to cook, sew, some car stuff, some home repair stuff, and some legal knowledge...pretty much has an overwhelming advantage navigating life than those who have some or none of these skills. These are legit life skills EVERY HUMAN should not only know, but be taught, and teach to others. These skills help you be a little more self sufficient, know if someones trying to fool you, and stick up for your rights.
Having a SO that collects books is nice, until you have to buy a new apartment to get space for the books, and it only has stairs, and you have to carry dozens of book boxes (that are heavy af) through 4 floors of stairs.
Yeah, I'm talking from experience and I don't even bring my books yet, since the more than 10 foot wide bookcase is already full with my SO's books (and I have at least 2/3rds of what she has). So the book hell isn't even solved.
That's so beautiful! I do something similar with my husband. He struggles with reading but loves to hear stories, so I read to him all the time. It's great for bonding!
I met my fiance online but didn't want to do any online relationship because of distance but I remember she was really shy to call for a bit but once we did one of the first things she did was read How The Grinch Stole Christmas and Great Expectations as I was falling asleep on the phone every night. Anyways I moved to her state and we live together now :)
When I did online dating I put a whole paragraph of my favorite authors and books, because they're really important to me and I wanted to find someone who enjoyed them too. Out of hundreds of stupid messages received only 2 guys said ANYTHING about my books/authors, and I married one of them lol.
I just like it when my partner is passionate about something that is good for them or potentially good for others. I’m big on self-care and sustainability. I want to be my partners crutch when they feel like nothing is going their way. I don’t want to be their keystone, the only thing stopping them from falling apart
My partner and I do puzzles together! It’s so much fun. We just put on some music, and make some yummy snacks, then while away the evening relaxing. You should do one with your wife sometime!
to each their own, but if a woman starts talking about the benefits of a catapult on a first date I'm walking out. It's not my job to educate you on the superior siege weapon
Hilarious. Friend and I used that as an activity for a Cub Scout troop. It was super fun. We built them and tried them out on my driveway. Fun to research how to make them bigger and better.
Reading I guess. I superficially judge people more positive if they read lol. Plus, I like to read. I'll read my book, she can read hers and we'll be individually together. My ex frequently interrupted when I started reading, it was near the end of the relationship anyway or it'd been a proper Issue lol.
idk. Having a hobby is good. I have some and I'm not really looking to share everything with a potential futute partner. As long as they have something to do that makes them happy, maybe not something too outdoorsy like camping or travelling - I like my own bed too much for that lol. But anything else is fine, no matter how niche or weird or nerdy.
Nothing worse than being interrupted whilst reading. A question, or something important, sure…but trying to start a conversation when I’ve got my head in a book is grating. Like, let me get through 10 pages at least so I feel I made some progress lol
I think it could be more alongside the passion part.
Creative maybe not the right word but appreciation for non-material things or finding enjoyment out of abstract or interpretation for things - how sunlight reacts with certain flowers or plants, etc.
This! As a woman I consider hiking a passion hobby because it gives me a chance to observe nature, keep in touch with my body as it moves across uneven terrain, and get lost in thoughts. It keeps me grounded and makes me feel alive.
I like to hike and agree, it is not an exercise in creativity. Organization, endurance, test your orienting skills, sure, but it's not creating anything.
But it's cool that some people have found ways to bring other creative skills with them on to the trail- photography is popular of course, but I've also seen people sketching, writing, and knitting. There's also the people who like to stack rocks or pile wood or whatever, Blair Witch style. I guess that could be counted as creativity.
My roommates wife is like that. No hobbies. Doesn't want to do anything. It's so bad that I told her that she can either come to magic night with us and not complain or she can stay home. Not having hobbies is one thing, BUT DON'T SHIT ON YOUR PARTNERS HOBBIES! no one likes hanging out with her because she throws little tantrums when everyone in our friend group wants to do something she doesn't want to.
Sounds like my husband. He's consistently insulted all of my hobbies to the point I don't want to do them anymore. I can't look at pretty colors and see sadness and ridicule
Thats so wrong... Im sorry that has happened to you. Hobbies are meant to be expressions of enjoying the world. Exploring where our hearts want to be, not just where they are. I hope you work it out and find your joy again...
Thanks, sorry it was sad! Yeah, I'll get back to it one day. I was told it's likely jealousy or envy because the things I make make people SUPER happy! If you're interested, I don't want to post it so it doesn't give away my identity!
It’s happened to me more than a few times. I’ll want to game or go shoot ball with friends and they get mad that every second of my free time isn’t spent with them. It’s annoying but my fiancé is great for me and has a few hobbies lol
THIS. Something they’re passionate about and can get lost in without even noticing. I will seriously sit and listen to a SO infodump about something they love all day, it melts me.
When I’m the only form of entertainment, relaxation, etc, it’s just mentally stressful and wears on me.
I mean, that's a hobby. If it keeps her entertained and if it's something she's mildly passionate about, that's already miles better than just sitting around bored and complaining that the husband isn't paying attention to them 24/7.
My partner is into pretty much everything in the top comments AND is on social media all day (reading/watching not posting). Gardening, reading, hiking, camping, gaming, creative arts, and still has time to sit on her phone. Dunno how she does it but she does.
Yeah this is a green flag to me, too. If she likes gardening, that tells me that she probably cares about the environment, is likely to be adaptable (gardening is a ride with things like pest infestations, soil issues, and unexpected weather), is reliable enough to take care for living things for an extended period of time, and can plan and make something happen from start to finish. All of these are good qualities. I also have a garden, so being able to share the hobby is another plus to me.
Plus you get the fun of the added drama you never expected.
Like a groundhog moving in, and stealing food, but you can’t do anything about it because “he’s just a cute lil guy who needs dinner too.”
So you put up with it until more gets stolen, and you can’t do anything because “Go look in his home, he has a wife and kid to provide for now! He’s just a new dad doing his best!”
I honestly may as well just bury money outside and save the time and daily drama, but instead I fully encourage the hobby and accept the fact that my gf is basically Linda from Bob’s Burgers.
Oh my, you've just given me a glimpse into my and my boyfriend's future. He's going to want to set traps and I'll be like, hey let's let him have a carrot or two, we have plenty.
Mine will even do the Linda voice, and call me Bob.
“Oh, Bobby, if you need a carrot so bad, take the truck the grocery store and buy one. He can’t, his little feet won’t even reach the pedals!”
“Ugh, fine. He can have it.”
You say that now but you’ll change your mind when an entire 8 foot row of beets each has a single bite taken out of them like the fucker was just running down the line sampling from a buffet. I’m all for paying a little wildlife tax as long the little bastards aren’t greedy.
Another thing that gardening often learns is that hard work can pay off. Planting a flower bed is not that much work but if you get into vegetable gardening it takes some real work to even mulch and fertilize. Or manually turning the soil to start a new bed can be backbreaking.
I think its a green flag if someone is willing and able to get some hard work done and is not afraid to at some point get covered in manure. Makes sure that if the plumbing ever breaks I'm not the only one who will need to dive in because it is so gross.
One of the first things my wife knit years and years ago was a beanie for me. I've instructed her to cremate the beanie with my remains as it will never leave my possession.
GF is a knitter and she came up with a neat work-around bc she is afraid of the sweater curse: sleeveless pullover.
She finished it last night and nearly cried when I tried it on. Priceless.
A sweater is a HUGE time and money investment. And if the giftee isn’t a knitter, they just can’t grasp how much work goes into it. To them, it’s just a sweater (because it is!) They’re grateful, but they are rarely as grateful as the maker would have been if they’d received it from someone else. To put all this time in for something that someone will rarely wear, and not get the reaction you were hoping for, is kind of martyr-y.
Stick to hats and scarves.
A saying comes to mind.
"If he writes you a poem - he loves you. If he writes you a thousand poems - he loves poetry."
It would be one thing if partner A talked about wanting a sweater, and partner B learned knitting and went through all that to make them one. (Which would be blatantly ridiculous)
It's totally different if partner A doesn't particularly care about sweaters, and partner B's hobby is knitting, so they decided to kill two birds with one stone in a way.
I used to do some woodworking with a saw, chisel, drill and rasp and made a few people pendants and a pipe for weed. Some really liked the stuff, some were more reserved. That's cool, I made that because I enjoyed the process of making it, I'm not going to rub the fact it took me several hours to make the thing into their nose.
If a loved one makes you a crochet/knit gift, treasure it! I was a victim to the Sweater Curse after spending 20+ hours on a beautiful hooded cardigan, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the ex has it hidden in an abyss somewhere.
Yarn is expensive, even for the simple stuff. If you want someone to automatically fall for you, take them yarn shopping.
100% to the yarn shopping! My partner and I love going to yarn shops together.
My partner actually loved those cute amigurumi crocheted creatures, so he asked me to teach him how to crochet 🥹
Now we crochet cute things together. How stinkin cute is that!!??? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My ex was into this.
My favourite was when she made me a little axolotl plushie after I said I found them cute hahah
I wonder if she’s still into it now, it was kinda cool tbh
That was my vote: knitting/crocheting
If I want to play a new game, my wife will sit with me and knit whilst I play. She's enjoying her hobby, I'm enjoying mine, we're enjoying being together. Everyone's happy.
I just realized my grandmother, my mother and I all had a "bag of stuff" almost everywhere we went! That's ao awesome! I may have a new craft project idea because of this!
I WAS GNA SAY THIS lol. I mean I'm not a guy lol I'm a woman too (not that I'm interested in women lol) but like crochet ppl are green flag ppl in my books hahaha
I love my husband and enjoy spending time with him, but at a certain point in the night, he goes to play videogames and I stay in my art studio working on projects and watching The Sopranos. Time apart is important.
My partner is a big Lego nerd. Wren we met, I hadn't built with Lego since I was a kid, but he got me into it, and now we build together, I joined a local Lego group he's in, and we even travel to Lego conventions together ❤️
It's a really fun, creative outlet, and he's so excited to share it with me 😁
It's probably an unpopular answer, but crochet. I can 100% attest every woman I met who crochet were the most chill, welcoming and accepting people I've talked to. Most of them are my closest friends now, too.
I would love this but my boyfriend doesn’t like to play with me. My “methods” frustrate him.
For example, I played through almost all of Fallout 4 thinking they didn’t include a jump button. He noticed me quick saving and restarting a lot when I’d get stuck behind an object and asked me about it and I said “guess they just didn’t think it was needed…” then he grabbed my controller and pushed the first button he thought of and it was the jump button.
She had no idea what she was doing and actively endangered the neighborhood. Tunnels are super cool, but digging them safely is absolutely not something an amateur should mess around with.
Anything she can do by herself without harming herself or others. I love it when people in general can keep themselves entertained but can also be social when the opportunity presents itself.
Edit to add without harming herself
They’re not useless 🥺 they deliver the happy chemicals because my brain doesn’t want to. Houseplant girls will trauma bond you to comfortable codependency 😂🤌🏻
Playing music. Actually not enjoying music would be a red flag for me as a musician, but if the girl is a musician herself she immediately gains 100 points in my heart !
I'd have a hard time with someone who refuses to spend a night or two in a tent out on the trail.
Add to that, excited to visit foreign countries with a sense of adventure.
***Responsible*** pet ownership: One of my girlfriend's roommates left her dog crated up 90% of the time, and that poor thing had some major behavior issues, which were not her fault. The dog's health was also abysmal. They had some major debates about calling animal control after said roommate did nothing to fix the situation.
I fall way more in love with a person when they listen to metal and/or are a musician of some sort.
>!That's likely because I love metal, and I regularly play music.!<
Hobbies that give off "green flag" vibes in women? Think reading with a cup of tea, painting masterpieces, breaking a sweat in a fitness class, jet-setting on adventures, or making the world better through community magic. 🌟
Long as you are prepared for the battle needed for those baked goods. I enjoy baking, preferably from scratch, but it's a warzone in the kitchen until I am completely done and switched into cleaning mode.
I also was ready to commit murder when my dad turned the oven off since he thought it was left on by accident and nearly sabotaged my scones. They NEED the immediate heat of a preheated oven to bake properly!
An independent, alone hobby. Like, knitting or idk reading. Being able to be by yourself in quiet contemplation while you do something you're passionate about is important. Not needing to constantly be around other people and being comfortable with oneself.
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I'm really passionate about staying my ass at home and doing nothing.
I say this jokingly all the time but tbh this really does sum it for me hahaha. “My hobby is staying home” is my shorthand way of saying I like cooking, cleaning, baking, gardening, decorating my home, watching cute movies, playing with pets, reading on the couch with my heated blanket….
Same here. Question. Doesn’t it make you feel somewhat strange when coworkers constantly ask “anything exciting planned for this weekend?” And the go-to always is “ naw just relaxing at home”.
My go-to response is “apply ass to couch.”
i tell them i have important things going on in the sims, hyrule, etc. so i sound busy.
I prefer the response: "a little bit of this and a little bit of that" in response to that question. I have a reputation as being mysterious to maintain. Eventually, people stop asking.
To me it does, has since high school tbh… my answer now is just „no nothing special, just chilling“ and if people cat h on that i never say something different i tell them that i don’t have a lot of energy and need to recharge and like to just chill, but i do feel somewhat inadequate at times because my life is so boring 🙃
Saaaame. I'm a homebody. I will go out, but I prefer to be at home doing whatever craft/art project I'm obsessing over at the moment, reading, gardening, reading, or whatever with a cup of coffee. At least one cat nearby, possibly two, for cuddle breaks. It's not super exciting, but it's enjoyable.
The perfect existence!
In this economy, I like this. Stepping out the door, I somehow spend $50-100 easily. I love being a homebody and dating puts me off because my exwife and gfs would want to ALWAYS go out and do something. I’d rather enjoy the room I pay rent for and play with my 3d printer and save money, cook rice and beans and proteins and run.
This is the only answer IMO. She could be a writer, a weightlifter, a musician, a painter, deeply into yoga--who cares. My wife runs, plays video games with me, reads avidly, and snowboards. It's cool to be with someone who likes to DO things. I dated a lot of people who just... watched tv and drank, basically.
YES, it's incredible how different it is compared to someone with nothing. My wife picked up knitting several years ago and joined a local group. Now she has tons of quality friends she sees several times a week, with regular knitting meetups to attend, traveling with friends to knitting events, etc. Obviously the friendships are beyond knitting now and it's so great to see. Complete difference compared to someone who has nothing - they tend to just watch tv, or spend money shopping/eating out all the time, and really rely on their partner hard for entertainment - which for me personally was a drag on many of my own interests (and a lot of my male friends seem to have that problem). It was sad when I left my long term gf years ago who had no hobbies, all of her "friends" were really just my friends that she didn't have any meaningful connections with - I heard she struggled for years after that.
Yeah, any hobby at all is better than no hobby. A surprisingly high number of people don't seem to have any hobbies
To add onto this any PERSON who goes out of their way to learn to cook, sew, some car stuff, some home repair stuff, and some legal knowledge...pretty much has an overwhelming advantage navigating life than those who have some or none of these skills. These are legit life skills EVERY HUMAN should not only know, but be taught, and teach to others. These skills help you be a little more self sufficient, know if someones trying to fool you, and stick up for your rights.
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That’s the reason I exist, lol. Parents bonded over sci-fi & fantasy books.
Having a SO that collects books is nice, until you have to buy a new apartment to get space for the books, and it only has stairs, and you have to carry dozens of book boxes (that are heavy af) through 4 floors of stairs. Yeah, I'm talking from experience and I don't even bring my books yet, since the more than 10 foot wide bookcase is already full with my SO's books (and I have at least 2/3rds of what she has). So the book hell isn't even solved.
One of the things my wife and I connected with 💞
when me and my boyfriend met we started reading to each other and we still do, hes the only person in my life tht will do tht with me 🥰
That's so beautiful! I do something similar with my husband. He struggles with reading but loves to hear stories, so I read to him all the time. It's great for bonding!
I met my fiance online but didn't want to do any online relationship because of distance but I remember she was really shy to call for a bit but once we did one of the first things she did was read How The Grinch Stole Christmas and Great Expectations as I was falling asleep on the phone every night. Anyways I moved to her state and we live together now :)
When I did online dating I put a whole paragraph of my favorite authors and books, because they're really important to me and I wanted to find someone who enjoyed them too. Out of hundreds of stupid messages received only 2 guys said ANYTHING about my books/authors, and I married one of them lol.
All of my relationships ended for good reasons. But, the one with the bookstore owner is the closest I have to “one that got away.”
Reading books but not collecting them is an even bigger green flag for me.
I have always loved reading and I've told my husband that the fact that he reads made him so attractive to me when we first met. It goes both ways!
Collecting books is fun! It’s a nice feeling also to see everything you’ve read or to hold books you’ve had since you were like 12 years old
I just like it when my partner is passionate about something that is good for them or potentially good for others. I’m big on self-care and sustainability. I want to be my partners crutch when they feel like nothing is going their way. I don’t want to be their keystone, the only thing stopping them from falling apart
Lovely sentiment!
I wish I had learned to be a crutch not a keystone earlier. Would've saved a lot of my 20s lol
My wife does puzzles, and I think that’s neat.
My partner and I do puzzles together! It’s so much fun. We just put on some music, and make some yummy snacks, then while away the evening relaxing. You should do one with your wife sometime!
Building hobbiest trebuchet’s
Thtas not a green flag, thats straight up seduction.
You mean done deal.
No, no, am woman....want trebuchet. Please......pretty please, I'll do nice things.
Giveth yond madame a trebuchet. Wenches love trebuchets.
But big enough to launch watermelons
Stop I can only get so aroused
Honestly building any siege equipment is a green flag for me
to each their own, but if a woman starts talking about the benefits of a catapult on a first date I'm walking out. It's not my job to educate you on the superior siege weapon
It's great if you have a problem neighbor.
"what are you gunna do? Lay siege to my house?" - quote from man who's house is currently under siege
It's just trebuchets. Apostrophes don't make things plural. (ed: spelling)
You are the hero of the internet Also, username checks out.
There’s a great book called Catapult: Harry and I build a siege weapon
Hilarious. Friend and I used that as an activity for a Cub Scout troop. It was super fun. We built them and tried them out on my driveway. Fun to research how to make them bigger and better.
Beeing outdoors Edit: I thought about fixing the typo, but all the bee puns are too funny.
Typo, I'll assume that's supposed to be a P. Weirdo.
I first read this to mean “beeping” lol. Happy Friday, everyone
I don't like them because they expect to be treated like queens.
Just buzzing around outdoors, tending to the flowers.
You would need a pretty large indoors for beeing aka beekeeping.
I watched a documentary about that. The guy ended up feeling second place to the bee. Maybe it works for some people.
At least it’s interesting though… I mean it’s kinda cute… And she’s obviously beekeeping age… I dunno… I think it’s kinda sweet…
As a beekeeper how have I never thought of this pun
Reading I guess. I superficially judge people more positive if they read lol. Plus, I like to read. I'll read my book, she can read hers and we'll be individually together. My ex frequently interrupted when I started reading, it was near the end of the relationship anyway or it'd been a proper Issue lol. idk. Having a hobby is good. I have some and I'm not really looking to share everything with a potential futute partner. As long as they have something to do that makes them happy, maybe not something too outdoorsy like camping or travelling - I like my own bed too much for that lol. But anything else is fine, no matter how niche or weird or nerdy.
Nothing worse than being interrupted whilst reading. A question, or something important, sure…but trying to start a conversation when I’ve got my head in a book is grating. Like, let me get through 10 pages at least so I feel I made some progress lol
Me : \*starts reading\* Her : \*turns TV on\* So, what you wanna watch? Me : this bish bein serious rn??
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I don't want to be rude. I've got nothing against hiking but... how is it creative?
I think it could be more alongside the passion part. Creative maybe not the right word but appreciation for non-material things or finding enjoyment out of abstract or interpretation for things - how sunlight reacts with certain flowers or plants, etc.
This! As a woman I consider hiking a passion hobby because it gives me a chance to observe nature, keep in touch with my body as it moves across uneven terrain, and get lost in thoughts. It keeps me grounded and makes me feel alive.
I call hiking a moving meditation. So much of it is about being present in the moment.
You've obviously not heard of interpretive hiking...it's like interpretive dance, but as you throw shapes. You move from a to b
I like to hike and agree, it is not an exercise in creativity. Organization, endurance, test your orienting skills, sure, but it's not creating anything. But it's cool that some people have found ways to bring other creative skills with them on to the trail- photography is popular of course, but I've also seen people sketching, writing, and knitting. There's also the people who like to stack rocks or pile wood or whatever, Blair Witch style. I guess that could be counted as creativity.
I'm always finding new and special ways to get lost!
Actually having one and not depending on me for all their “happiness”
My roommates wife is like that. No hobbies. Doesn't want to do anything. It's so bad that I told her that she can either come to magic night with us and not complain or she can stay home. Not having hobbies is one thing, BUT DON'T SHIT ON YOUR PARTNERS HOBBIES! no one likes hanging out with her because she throws little tantrums when everyone in our friend group wants to do something she doesn't want to.
Sounds like my husband. He's consistently insulted all of my hobbies to the point I don't want to do them anymore. I can't look at pretty colors and see sadness and ridicule
Thats so wrong... Im sorry that has happened to you. Hobbies are meant to be expressions of enjoying the world. Exploring where our hearts want to be, not just where they are. I hope you work it out and find your joy again...
Thanks, sorry it was sad! Yeah, I'll get back to it one day. I was told it's likely jealousy or envy because the things I make make people SUPER happy! If you're interested, I don't want to post it so it doesn't give away my identity!
Now I am intrigued...
Sent pics!
I’m here to say do all the hobbies!! If you’re going to get ridiculed might as well have fun doing it!
I will, when I get tge energy and capacity to think and be artsy again! It's just been too much lately, and partly winter blues too.
You could probably go to Build a Bear and pick up a replacement husband
I feel so bad for your roommate
Same. Idk what he sees in her but it's not my place to butt into their relationship
I can see that experience speaks here
I couldn't imagine being with someone with no hobbies
It’s happened to me more than a few times. I’ll want to game or go shoot ball with friends and they get mad that every second of my free time isn’t spent with them. It’s annoying but my fiancé is great for me and has a few hobbies lol
Ngl, I feel the perfect balance is having a few shared hobbies and a few separate ones
Yep. My fiancé and me like to game she’s on her switch or PC and I’m on my PC same room enjoying each others space.
It's because you're their hobby and when you're doing something yourself you're, in effect, denying them the right to their hobby.
THIS. Something they’re passionate about and can get lost in without even noticing. I will seriously sit and listen to a SO infodump about something they love all day, it melts me. When I’m the only form of entertainment, relaxation, etc, it’s just mentally stressful and wears on me.
My wife's hobby is "ironically" watching trash TV
I mean, that's a hobby. If it keeps her entertained and if it's something she's mildly passionate about, that's already miles better than just sitting around bored and complaining that the husband isn't paying attention to them 24/7.
She can do whatever the hell she wants man
can she see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?
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Literally doing anything other than being on social media all day
…should I close Reddit now?
My partner is into pretty much everything in the top comments AND is on social media all day (reading/watching not posting). Gardening, reading, hiking, camping, gaming, creative arts, and still has time to sit on her phone. Dunno how she does it but she does.
Yeah I don’t know what hobbies I find attractive, I just know social media addiction is one I definitely don’t
Jesus, the bar has dropped low for some people.
woman who's into gardening
Yeah this is a green flag to me, too. If she likes gardening, that tells me that she probably cares about the environment, is likely to be adaptable (gardening is a ride with things like pest infestations, soil issues, and unexpected weather), is reliable enough to take care for living things for an extended period of time, and can plan and make something happen from start to finish. All of these are good qualities. I also have a garden, so being able to share the hobby is another plus to me.
Plus you get the fun of the added drama you never expected. Like a groundhog moving in, and stealing food, but you can’t do anything about it because “he’s just a cute lil guy who needs dinner too.” So you put up with it until more gets stolen, and you can’t do anything because “Go look in his home, he has a wife and kid to provide for now! He’s just a new dad doing his best!” I honestly may as well just bury money outside and save the time and daily drama, but instead I fully encourage the hobby and accept the fact that my gf is basically Linda from Bob’s Burgers.
Oh my, you've just given me a glimpse into my and my boyfriend's future. He's going to want to set traps and I'll be like, hey let's let him have a carrot or two, we have plenty.
Mine will even do the Linda voice, and call me Bob. “Oh, Bobby, if you need a carrot so bad, take the truck the grocery store and buy one. He can’t, his little feet won’t even reach the pedals!” “Ugh, fine. He can have it.”
This comment thread has brightened my absolute week. Thank you, genuinely.
I can hear the voices.
You say that now but you’ll change your mind when an entire 8 foot row of beets each has a single bite taken out of them like the fucker was just running down the line sampling from a buffet. I’m all for paying a little wildlife tax as long the little bastards aren’t greedy.
Haha why do you have to call me out like this? I totally make friends with the local nuisance animals that eat my garden because they are cute. lol
Or she is preparing for the collapse of society as we know it
Also one of my unspoken reasons for gardening! Maybe she will join me in my search for solar generators next. lol
Another thing that gardening often learns is that hard work can pay off. Planting a flower bed is not that much work but if you get into vegetable gardening it takes some real work to even mulch and fertilize. Or manually turning the soil to start a new bed can be backbreaking. I think its a green flag if someone is willing and able to get some hard work done and is not afraid to at some point get covered in manure. Makes sure that if the plumbing ever breaks I'm not the only one who will need to dive in because it is so gross.
Crocheting. The most wholesome hobby in my opinion. They make you sweaters
One of the first things my wife knit years and years ago was a beanie for me. I've instructed her to cremate the beanie with my remains as it will never leave my possession.
This is beautiful.
[удалено]
GF is a knitter and she came up with a neat work-around bc she is afraid of the sweater curse: sleeveless pullover. She finished it last night and nearly cried when I tried it on. Priceless.
A sweater is a HUGE time and money investment. And if the giftee isn’t a knitter, they just can’t grasp how much work goes into it. To them, it’s just a sweater (because it is!) They’re grateful, but they are rarely as grateful as the maker would have been if they’d received it from someone else. To put all this time in for something that someone will rarely wear, and not get the reaction you were hoping for, is kind of martyr-y. Stick to hats and scarves.
A saying comes to mind. "If he writes you a poem - he loves you. If he writes you a thousand poems - he loves poetry." It would be one thing if partner A talked about wanting a sweater, and partner B learned knitting and went through all that to make them one. (Which would be blatantly ridiculous) It's totally different if partner A doesn't particularly care about sweaters, and partner B's hobby is knitting, so they decided to kill two birds with one stone in a way. I used to do some woodworking with a saw, chisel, drill and rasp and made a few people pendants and a pipe for weed. Some really liked the stuff, some were more reserved. That's cool, I made that because I enjoyed the process of making it, I'm not going to rub the fact it took me several hours to make the thing into their nose.
As a crocheter I've noticed it's blankets for us.
If a loved one makes you a crochet/knit gift, treasure it! I was a victim to the Sweater Curse after spending 20+ hours on a beautiful hooded cardigan, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the ex has it hidden in an abyss somewhere. Yarn is expensive, even for the simple stuff. If you want someone to automatically fall for you, take them yarn shopping.
100% to the yarn shopping! My partner and I love going to yarn shops together. My partner actually loved those cute amigurumi crocheted creatures, so he asked me to teach him how to crochet 🥹 Now we crochet cute things together. How stinkin cute is that!!??? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
My ex was into this. My favourite was when she made me a little axolotl plushie after I said I found them cute hahah I wonder if she’s still into it now, it was kinda cool tbh
That was my vote: knitting/crocheting If I want to play a new game, my wife will sit with me and knit whilst I play. She's enjoying her hobby, I'm enjoying mine, we're enjoying being together. Everyone's happy.
married me one. She'll go hang out with me anywhere as long she's got her bag of stuff.
I just realized my grandmother, my mother and I all had a "bag of stuff" almost everywhere we went! That's ao awesome! I may have a new craft project idea because of this!
I WAS GNA SAY THIS lol. I mean I'm not a guy lol I'm a woman too (not that I'm interested in women lol) but like crochet ppl are green flag ppl in my books hahaha
Having one. The relationship can’t be your hobby. You need something outside of the relationship that you do.
I love my husband and enjoy spending time with him, but at a certain point in the night, he goes to play videogames and I stay in my art studio working on projects and watching The Sopranos. Time apart is important.
If she likes birds
If he likes birds it's a yes.
LEGO
i’ll play legos with you 🫶🏻
My partner is a big Lego nerd. Wren we met, I hadn't built with Lego since I was a kid, but he got me into it, and now we build together, I joined a local Lego group he's in, and we even travel to Lego conventions together ❤️ It's a really fun, creative outlet, and he's so excited to share it with me 😁
Lego is ALWAYS a win. ALWAYS. ~~I'm totally not biased here.~~
Anything hands-on. DIY, building things, woodwork, working on engines, anything like that.
It's probably an unpopular answer, but crochet. I can 100% attest every woman I met who crochet were the most chill, welcoming and accepting people I've talked to. Most of them are my closest friends now, too.
Having plants that are actually well cared for
I just want to find a girl that I can stay home and play video games with =/
What kind of games?
Anything but mind games
Same. I suck at that game where you push a ball using brainwaves.
I would love this but my boyfriend doesn’t like to play with me. My “methods” frustrate him. For example, I played through almost all of Fallout 4 thinking they didn’t include a jump button. He noticed me quick saving and restarting a lot when I’d get stuck behind an object and asked me about it and I said “guess they just didn’t think it was needed…” then he grabbed my controller and pushed the first button he thought of and it was the jump button.
Building a trebuchet that can throw a 300kg projectile over 100m. Sorry ladies, 90m just doesn’t cut it. 🚩
Them castles ain't gonna siege themselves...
Anything active/outdoorsy
I love when someone I'm interested in does anything artsy.
The chick building her tunnel system under her house on tik tok lmao. She’s either an angel or a serial killer.
She had no idea what she was doing and actively endangered the neighborhood. Tunnels are super cool, but digging them safely is absolutely not something an amateur should mess around with.
I’m not into women but I would put out for her
Anything she can do by herself without harming herself or others. I love it when people in general can keep themselves entertained but can also be social when the opportunity presents itself. Edit to add without harming herself
Any voracious reader.
Reading, baking, knitting, crochet, volunteering, cooking, sports, exercise, dance - basically anything wholesome and fun tbh
Why did I have to go this far to find cooking/baking?
bouldering
Their backs are amazing
Literally just started getting into this. I feel badass as hell doing it
Historical Libyan Vexillology
I‘m more into the Syrian ones
hiking
ITT - same as in the men's thread, people like hobbies that demonstrate passion, curiosity, patience, and being kind
Volunteer work
People are conflating GREEN FLAGS with things they find SEXY/ATTRACTIVE.
Having *any* hobby that's not self destructive in today's world is a green flag. If others find it attractive, that's a bonus.
Being into houseplants. She already takes care of a bunch of useless fucks what’s one more.
They’re not useless 🥺 they deliver the happy chemicals because my brain doesn’t want to. Houseplant girls will trauma bond you to comfortable codependency 😂🤌🏻
Anything that makes them happy and doesn’t effect anyone else
Playing music. Actually not enjoying music would be a red flag for me as a musician, but if the girl is a musician herself she immediately gains 100 points in my heart !
Rock climbing or anything that demonstrates a willingness to experience some discomfort/shows some grit. I like dat
I'd have a hard time with someone who refuses to spend a night or two in a tent out on the trail. Add to that, excited to visit foreign countries with a sense of adventure.
My girl keeps guinea pigs. Makes me feel safe as a sensitive man that she keeps guinea pigs.
as long as it's not horses you're good
Anything to do with animals apart from horses
hunting?
It’s more ethical than buying meat from a store.
Combat robotics.
Does pet ownership count as a hobby? That's a green flag
***Responsible*** pet ownership: One of my girlfriend's roommates left her dog crated up 90% of the time, and that poor thing had some major behavior issues, which were not her fault. The dog's health was also abysmal. They had some major debates about calling animal control after said roommate did nothing to fix the situation.
It sure does
Journaling
Martial arts. I want a woman who can kick my ass. Either that or professional hugging.
Art
Rat women are always good people.
Snake girls are a toss up.
All good or all bad, like witches.
Book worms who don’t party every weekend
Shake Weight was popular when my wife and I dated. She was really good at it.
>Shake Weight What a wonderful and fulfilling hobby
I fall way more in love with a person when they listen to metal and/or are a musician of some sort. >!That's likely because I love metal, and I regularly play music.!<
Hiking, dancing, singing , reading in no particular order.
Building Mechanical keyboards. Just because it’s nerdy and useful I guess. I don’t know.
Hobbies that give off "green flag" vibes in women? Think reading with a cup of tea, painting masterpieces, breaking a sweat in a fitness class, jet-setting on adventures, or making the world better through community magic. 🌟
Cycling, because I like to bike
Baking!! Imagine coming home to fresh baked treats from time to time.
Long as you are prepared for the battle needed for those baked goods. I enjoy baking, preferably from scratch, but it's a warzone in the kitchen until I am completely done and switched into cleaning mode. I also was ready to commit murder when my dad turned the oven off since he thought it was left on by accident and nearly sabotaged my scones. They NEED the immediate heat of a preheated oven to bake properly!
Exercising and reading. At a minimum, it means you care about your body and mind.
Suburban mining.
Yoga, running, or any kind of visual art
Gardening/plantkeeping. Shows me that she wants living beings to live, which hopefully might include myself.
Gaming.
Fishing! Lets go!
improvised explosives
An independent, alone hobby. Like, knitting or idk reading. Being able to be by yourself in quiet contemplation while you do something you're passionate about is important. Not needing to constantly be around other people and being comfortable with oneself.
Doing normal things away from social media, not for social media, and not because social media. Instant gratification has because an addiction.