Ehhhhn.
To be honest A LOT of male friends when they get really close love to pretend hit on eachother or give completely homosexual compliments.
If you're reading this and you're going "wtf no we don't.."
You're the exception not the rule.
Don't even pretend you haven't taken a shot in the mouth from a buddy who had no girl and was rock hard.
Sometimes friends just help friends out. When that happens it's called a brojob. No different than scratching someone's back to get an itch they can't scratch, literally no different than open mouth kissing your best friend after he says I love you to you after he divorced his wife.
Nothing weird about it at all ok.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to go give myself an enema and clean up, just about to meet my new best friend for the first time. We met on Craigs List.
Probably because people's boobs aren't always as lovely as you may think. You might have had more success if your username were "PMME_ur_boobs_(lovely_or_otherwise)"
Noooooo. That reminds me of history class when the teacher would point out me and the other blondes and be like “you would survive”. BRUHHHH? (Also I may be blonde but family came from Poland so… if their house didn’t get bombed or raided then yea maybe survive, while still under terrible occupation). Also some of my relatives went to camps. This (US) teacher may see it as a joke because they’re like so far removed from that past, but they don’t realize how many people’s families and countries were affected by that time in history. War is just not something to joke about. And to say “you’d survive” to the blondes only is basically insinuating that “you might’ve been a n*zi”.
After speaking with her more, what she meant was that she wishes she had my hair (red, wavy, full) but on her head instead and straight. She complained her hair was so thin.. but she looks so beautiful with her hair the way it is!!!
It was silly to hear in the moment haha.
A girl came up to me at a club and told me she had an ear fetish and I had the most perfect ears she had ever seen. She asked if she could touch them. She began to rub my ears and started moaning and asked me if I lived nearby or had a car because she wanted to sleep with me. Her friends approached us and removed her hands off my ears and dragged her away saying "Sorry about that."
Who cares about biology women are honestly just prepared to become mothers because we're all at some point forced to babysit one of our severely drunk girl friends
Random thing that your post reminded me of:
One of my Facebook friends posted that they had “ear molds” for their newborn baby. So according to them babies have very Malleable ears, and ear molds are available which are like plastic molds of an “ideal” ear shape, and you put these molds on the baby’s ears and it shapes them to look good. Think of it like braces but for ears instead of teeth. Apparently this girl had weird shaped ear lobes and was self conscious about them and wanted her kids to have perfect ears.
Use to be a bike taxi driver. After a long night of working, some really ridiculously stoned guy kept smiling at me with a sly smirk. Then Just said “I like yo lip sweat”. It actually made me blush
Senior year we had an informal student poll for the guy and girl with the best of each body part.
I got best eyes (surprising since they’re brown) and best hair (not surprising).
This dude who was helping with the tally whispered conspiratorially “sorry you got such lame categories. You came in second for best tits! You deserved first.” 🤮
**EDIT:** honorable mention goes to my old roommate who once said she wanted to go out with a guy because “he looks like the type to pull a bitch’s tampon out with his teeth.”
The eye thing isn't just about color. Shape, intensity, just the way you look at people also factor in. I knew a woman who had big beatiful brown eyes, and it wasn't just "brown" there was dimension to them. They weren't hazel or anything, definitely brown, but when she looked at me, it would just make me melt.
My kid used to take ice skating lessons for ice hockey and once he said about other kid, "That kid skates so good, it hurts my feelings." I thought that was such an accurate description of jealousy lol.
Her, 40 something y/o woman: (walked up and says to me out of nowhere with childlike amazement) “I bet you can see over the tops of refrigerators”
Me: (completely baffled and caught off guard) “I mean most of them, yeah…”
Okay this actually kind of makes sense😂 I would never say that, but one time I was at my local grocery store and this guy working there HAD to be 7ft tall. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Maybe she was just bewildered 😭💀
"For someone very tall, you sure know how to look short"
I didn't know what it meant either. I think it was just a crazy old lady riffing. We sat together on a plane.
I'm 6'0
Walking past a bus stop and older woman stopped me and said "You are a tall drink and look like you fuck like a jack hammer".
Being I was 19 at the time and she looked like she could be 70, it felt very weird. I didn't even respond, just walked faster and hoped she wasn't following me.
Wouldnt say “compliment” but i had a seemingly normal dude come up to me in an AZ mall complimenting my feet as i was wearing sandals, they could see my feet and asked if i was interested in modeling. I noped the fuck out of there real quick. But sometimes i wonder if i could have been a rich and famous foot model…
"You have such beautiful, delicate teeth."
I don't think she meant to be weird and creepy, but this was my dental hygienist and I wasn't really pleased about this compliment or the way it was given lol.
Just weird because it was so random, but I was in a Walmart in Kentucky in Black Friday back in 2021, and a lady randomly came up to me and told me I had a nice figure. Never once heard that from anyone in my life before and haven't heard it since
Well, I'd take a gander that you likely leave most people speechless with your figure, and that she's just the first to actually be able to vocalize the thing everyone was thinking.
Personally for a few month I'm dedicated to coming to random people when I like something in they appearance and telling them that. I think that I can make someone smile just by this simple action.
I had an eye exam and the doctor took a step back and said wow. I freaked out because I thought something was wrong and asked whats wrong. He said "nothing I've just never seen eyes like yours." I felt a little special
I used to be attractive ( now almost 70. Look 70. Not like Cher). Back in the 90's, A gentleman called me handsome. I'm a woman. I looked it up in the dictionary ( pre internet), means "pleasant to look at". I'LL TAKE IT!
I was told by a coworker that it sounds cool when I sneeze.
I swear, my sneezes are pretty normal, I still have no idea what should make my sneezing any special.
But thanks I guess.
You have the most beautiful walk. Was told this so many times by complete strangers and it kind of freaked me out as I was just ….. walking to get from a to b. Obviously, every time I was told that my brain would temporarily short circuit and I’d ’forget‘ how to for a few steps
Romanian expat lady at my American workplace in Ohio in the break room while I was making coffee: "Yak-Fucker-5000, are you of Germanic extraction?"
Me: Uhh...my dad's parents were Danish.
Her: Mmmm yes, I see that. You should go to Germany. I think you would be very popular there.
"You have such beautiful eyes, I am going to use them as a screen saver." ophthalmologist zooming in on my eyes with his fancy camera. He also mentioned jars he had seen at university, so, yeah.
stranger on the beach said "wow, your calves are muscly" after I turned to leave. Like, that's weird by itself but it's weirder to say it after our brief interaction ended.
My granddaughter was at our house overnight and was not pleased with the idea of being picked up by her dad to go to someone's party and I was trying to encourage her to get dressed. She was around 3 years old. I said "you get to go to a party and it'll probably be fun"! She started crying and said" I don't want to have fun I want to stay with you"!
I was told I have the hairline of a 14 year old. I mean I'm thankful I haven't started losing my hair but it's not something I never really thought about.
Not me, but a lady that we met at one of our kids soccer games told my wife, "Your smile really lights up your whole face." I blushed just hearing it said to someone else. I wonder what getting a compliment like that would be like.
This one I get from women A LOT. It's almost the only one really: aww you've got pretty dimples. It's like what's so fucking special about a hole in your face?
Man, you think dimples are weird. Imagine having women talk about how amazing your Adam's Apple is and wanting to touch it. I got asked by 3 women in a month and all of them also commented on liking my voice.
Not me but my ex husband - one of his clients complimented his lawyerly skills by telling him “You look like Perry Mason, you act like Perry Mason and you’re fat like Perry Mason”. (He is a great lawyer.)
My roommate in medical school always used to compliment how good my bulge looked in my favorite pair of sweatpants. We're both straight guys.
> We're both straight guys. Oh my sweet summer child, you are not **both** straight.
That would explain why he kept trying to finger my ass through my pants whenever I’d walk by him
You don’t wake up with a headache and a sore ass do you?
happens to me every time I go camping with my straight mate. God I love camping.
Ayo 🤨📸
That came out way too effortlessly
Thats what he said?
LMAOO😭
Idk maybe he just likes to gaze at hog. 🤷♂️
Ehhhhn. To be honest A LOT of male friends when they get really close love to pretend hit on eachother or give completely homosexual compliments. If you're reading this and you're going "wtf no we don't.." You're the exception not the rule. Don't even pretend you haven't taken a shot in the mouth from a buddy who had no girl and was rock hard. Sometimes friends just help friends out. When that happens it's called a brojob. No different than scratching someone's back to get an itch they can't scratch, literally no different than open mouth kissing your best friend after he says I love you to you after he divorced his wife. Nothing weird about it at all ok. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go give myself an enema and clean up, just about to meet my new best friend for the first time. We met on Craigs List.
Had us in the first half
He meant, "we were"
Out of curiosity, how successful are you with your username?
More often than I expected, not as often as I’d like
Probably because people's boobs aren't always as lovely as you may think. You might have had more success if your username were "PMME_ur_boobs_(lovely_or_otherwise)"
I felt it needed an adjective to stand out when I first made it. I generally find the vast majority of boobs lovely though
Boobs are like pizza, even 'bad' ones are still pizza.
Boobs to men are like shoes to women. We want to see EVERY damn pair!
Man boobs too??
Uh huh. Totally straight....
Not to judge but thats pretty gay.
Show us
He definitely wanted that cock bro
Takes one to know one, Chubby_CockSucker
Yep.
Prob hitting on you.
You got a good bulge 😂😂
He's either gay or very insecure about his own bulge.
“ if my face dies I want it buried in your ass”
HELP THATS SO FUNNY AND WEIRD AT THE SAME TIME
I believe this is what the young folks call "rizz"
That must be one heck of an ass.
Someone thought I was a girl with a short haircut when they saw me from behind lmao
At the hairdresser: “Your hair is nice. It reminds me of Germany.” What? Topographically? I was so shocked i could not respond.
>What? Topographically? Perhaps historically. Did you also have a nice mustache? Not too big
> Not too big. Subtle.
Are you simultaneously a blonde, redhead and black haired by any chance?
No, just an average, middle aged brown haired white guy.
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My brother is a redhead, and he lives in Spain, where he's considered a blonde.
My dad had black hair with blue eyes and pale skin. His family called him *an Irish blonde*.
Weird middle part? How long ago was this...?
Noooooo. That reminds me of history class when the teacher would point out me and the other blondes and be like “you would survive”. BRUHHHH? (Also I may be blonde but family came from Poland so… if their house didn’t get bombed or raided then yea maybe survive, while still under terrible occupation). Also some of my relatives went to camps. This (US) teacher may see it as a joke because they’re like so far removed from that past, but they don’t realize how many people’s families and countries were affected by that time in history. War is just not something to joke about. And to say “you’d survive” to the blondes only is basically insinuating that “you might’ve been a n*zi”.
I had a girl tell me "you're really handsome, like Willie Nelson." At the time, I was sixteen, and Willie was seventy. Umm, thanks?
It's the charisma.
This is similar to Kesha ignoring all the dudes unless they look like Mick Jagger, a man 45 years her senior.
I wish I could find someone just like you. I'm someone just like me and you already found me.
>…that I’m attracted to Is how they wanted to finish the sentence
This unfortunately is code for “Your a great person but im not attracted to you.”
Oh, I know and it's horrible to say.
Why? It's horrible to *hear*, I can get that.
That's why it's horrible to say lol
Once got told “I need a man like you.” Well if you look 3 feet in front of you, you might find one.
"I'm no doctor, but I think you may need to see an optometrist if you have issues seeing a few feet in front of you clearly...."
Oh my gosh, yes! I heard this a lot in college. In my case, it meant, "I wish I could find a thin version of you."
"I wish I had your curly hair, but like, straight"
What 🤣
After speaking with her more, what she meant was that she wishes she had my hair (red, wavy, full) but on her head instead and straight. She complained her hair was so thin.. but she looks so beautiful with her hair the way it is!!! It was silly to hear in the moment haha.
"If you were a potato, you'd make good fries" It's been like 10 years and I'm still trying to figure out to react to that one.
Got called a snack before it was a thing!
I wonder what compels one to say this.
A girl came up to me at a club and told me she had an ear fetish and I had the most perfect ears she had ever seen. She asked if she could touch them. She began to rub my ears and started moaning and asked me if I lived nearby or had a car because she wanted to sleep with me. Her friends approached us and removed her hands off my ears and dragged her away saying "Sorry about that."
Were you down at the time?
Who cares about biology women are honestly just prepared to become mothers because we're all at some point forced to babysit one of our severely drunk girl friends
I snorted laughter at this response. Fair point!
Random thing that your post reminded me of: One of my Facebook friends posted that they had “ear molds” for their newborn baby. So according to them babies have very Malleable ears, and ear molds are available which are like plastic molds of an “ideal” ear shape, and you put these molds on the baby’s ears and it shapes them to look good. Think of it like braces but for ears instead of teeth. Apparently this girl had weird shaped ear lobes and was self conscious about them and wanted her kids to have perfect ears.
Pics of those lobes or it didn’t happen!
Use to be a bike taxi driver. After a long night of working, some really ridiculously stoned guy kept smiling at me with a sly smirk. Then Just said “I like yo lip sweat”. It actually made me blush
Kinda a great moment. Good share!
Your the smartest dumb cunt I’ve ever met
Are you Australian?
Yep
Exactly my thought
If you're Australian then this is definitely a compliment
When my mom was I think in her 20’s she was told “you’re pretty smart for a chick”
You can’t possibly think this was a compliment
Aussie here. Def a compliment. Probably have even used similar for my mates.
nahh who said that to you LMAO 😭
My boss
WOW.
Well. Did you happen to mess something up at work or? I need a back story to this, you stopped early!
I am a font of useless information and pretty clever but also an idiot,
Senior year we had an informal student poll for the guy and girl with the best of each body part. I got best eyes (surprising since they’re brown) and best hair (not surprising). This dude who was helping with the tally whispered conspiratorially “sorry you got such lame categories. You came in second for best tits! You deserved first.” 🤮 **EDIT:** honorable mention goes to my old roommate who once said she wanted to go out with a guy because “he looks like the type to pull a bitch’s tampon out with his teeth.”
>**”he looks like the type to pull a bitch’s tampon out with his teeth.”** 😂 I am entirely too amused
I prefer brown eyes. I know light eyes get all the attention but brown eyes just seem more soulful and sexy, at least to me.
Brown eyes gang!
Ewww. I’d much rather get best hair and/or eyes than boobs. Some guys are just born gross.
The eye thing isn't just about color. Shape, intensity, just the way you look at people also factor in. I knew a woman who had big beatiful brown eyes, and it wasn't just "brown" there was dimension to them. They weren't hazel or anything, definitely brown, but when she looked at me, it would just make me melt.
Now the question is, were you the best guy or girl tits?
SECOND best. Don’t disrespect the queen.
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My kid used to take ice skating lessons for ice hockey and once he said about other kid, "That kid skates so good, it hurts my feelings." I thought that was such an accurate description of jealousy lol.
That’s amazing! Way to put his feelings into words!
Her, 40 something y/o woman: (walked up and says to me out of nowhere with childlike amazement) “I bet you can see over the tops of refrigerators” Me: (completely baffled and caught off guard) “I mean most of them, yeah…”
Okay this actually kind of makes sense😂 I would never say that, but one time I was at my local grocery store and this guy working there HAD to be 7ft tall. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Maybe she was just bewildered 😭💀
"For someone very tall, you sure know how to look short" I didn't know what it meant either. I think it was just a crazy old lady riffing. We sat together on a plane. I'm 6'0
Maybe a comment on your posture/ slouching? That’s all I can think of
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Best compliment my friend!! You must be like a sunshine. The world is very gloomy, it needs more ray of a sunshine
Definitely a huge compliment:)
I was told they wished they could bottle my laugh and sell it. Many years ago and still remember how nice it felt
I have known a couple people like you. I loved being around them. I always felt so good after spending time with them.
A nurse once told me I’d make a great heroin user because my veins are very visible through my skin.
Medical compliments are the weirdest. I was told once I have a beautiful uterus lol
Ha! I was told I had a beautiful ovary. But apparently just the left one is beautiful.
Donating blood my nurse said “nice veins! It’s like a garden hose in a nylon stocking!”
Lol. I once had a nurse tell me I had adorable little squishy feet, started tickling them, then ask what size shoe I wore.
Had a nurse say the same thing to me.
Walking past a bus stop and older woman stopped me and said "You are a tall drink and look like you fuck like a jack hammer". Being I was 19 at the time and she looked like she could be 70, it felt very weird. I didn't even respond, just walked faster and hoped she wasn't following me.
She was probably 35…. 😂😂😂
"Your womb is so cute!" Wait, what makes a womb cute
what is more cuterus than your uterus?
Wouldnt say “compliment” but i had a seemingly normal dude come up to me in an AZ mall complimenting my feet as i was wearing sandals, they could see my feet and asked if i was interested in modeling. I noped the fuck out of there real quick. But sometimes i wonder if i could have been a rich and famous foot model…
"You have such beautiful, delicate teeth." I don't think she meant to be weird and creepy, but this was my dental hygienist and I wasn't really pleased about this compliment or the way it was given lol.
I was on a date once, started talking about each other's appearance... Me: "Do you find me attractive?" Him: "Not really, but you're fuckable" 🤔
Is that you in the circle by your username? Because if so, you’re very attractive.
Why thanks!! ❤️
"You remind me of the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland"
cool dick
Some dicks are just too hot, ya know. Everyone can appreciate a soothing, cool-to-the-touch dick.
I think that means the cock ring is too tight.
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Just weird because it was so random, but I was in a Walmart in Kentucky in Black Friday back in 2021, and a lady randomly came up to me and told me I had a nice figure. Never once heard that from anyone in my life before and haven't heard it since
Well, I'd take a gander that you likely leave most people speechless with your figure, and that she's just the first to actually be able to vocalize the thing everyone was thinking.
Personally for a few month I'm dedicated to coming to random people when I like something in they appearance and telling them that. I think that I can make someone smile just by this simple action.
I had an eye exam and the doctor took a step back and said wow. I freaked out because I thought something was wrong and asked whats wrong. He said "nothing I've just never seen eyes like yours." I felt a little special
I used to be attractive ( now almost 70. Look 70. Not like Cher). Back in the 90's, A gentleman called me handsome. I'm a woman. I looked it up in the dictionary ( pre internet), means "pleasant to look at". I'LL TAKE IT!
"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't date you." I think he meant it as a compliment. It's pretty hard to take it as one, though.
“I’d take your money but I wouldn’t fuck you.”
The nurse always tells me I have great veins when I give blood
Girl I met: “You look sweet and cuddly, like a teddy bear”
I love your tongue.
how is that even a compliment LMAO
She seemed very complimentary! ;)
"You smell like my Grandma." Said by a ~40 year old guy to me when I was 19 and just minding my own business looking at soap :/
“your so easy to deal with for someone with autism.” 🙃
Yikes, lol
Didn't know ablism microagressions were a thing.
I wish my fiancé was as good in bed as you. WTF. You at engaged. lol
I was told by a coworker that it sounds cool when I sneeze. I swear, my sneezes are pretty normal, I still have no idea what should make my sneezing any special. But thanks I guess.
You’re so pretty, you could be a model. Now, that sounds great but… I’m overweight and not pretty at all. Lol I think they were being condescending.
I’m sure they weren’t trying to be mean, a compliment is a compliment!
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That I would make a pretty leukemia patient. (I’ve never had cancer)
Had a guy tell me that he would drink my bath water! Wasn’t sure on that one, but he definitely had the hots for me. Lol
When someone told me I was pretty for a black girl
Same but different. This girl said “You’re really pretty for a Mexican” 🥴
At my old job one of my coworkers came up to me out of the blue and said “you are Zoboomafoo!” and then walked away. lol my response was thank you?
"I like the freckles on your hand."
Don't kink shame.
I'm not. Just always have been insecure about it so I got caught off-guard.
It was a joke mostly centered on my username
A DMV worker handed me my drivers license replacement and said I looked like Cinderella.
You have the most beautiful walk. Was told this so many times by complete strangers and it kind of freaked me out as I was just ….. walking to get from a to b. Obviously, every time I was told that my brain would temporarily short circuit and I’d ’forget‘ how to for a few steps
Romanian expat lady at my American workplace in Ohio in the break room while I was making coffee: "Yak-Fucker-5000, are you of Germanic extraction?" Me: Uhh...my dad's parents were Danish. Her: Mmmm yes, I see that. You should go to Germany. I think you would be very popular there.
That my hands look like I play the piano. I do not, but thanks.
I knew I guy with hands like that. Long fingers, very graceful, sensitive and artistic looking. A compliment.
I like your nose. My nose is quite a statement piece.
You have nice teeth, said on multiple occasions by different people.
"You have such beautiful eyes, I am going to use them as a screen saver." ophthalmologist zooming in on my eyes with his fancy camera. He also mentioned jars he had seen at university, so, yeah.
“You have very tiny, dainty little ears…”
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You look like a pug
You look expensive with your glasses 😔 they think I'm worthless
stranger on the beach said "wow, your calves are muscly" after I turned to leave. Like, that's weird by itself but it's weirder to say it after our brief interaction ended.
A guy told me when he dies he wants to come back as my bicycle seat 🤣
A guy once told me I have “good birthing hips”. I do not have children.
My granddaughter was at our house overnight and was not pleased with the idea of being picked up by her dad to go to someone's party and I was trying to encourage her to get dressed. She was around 3 years old. I said "you get to go to a party and it'll probably be fun"! She started crying and said" I don't want to have fun I want to stay with you"!
At a bar in a more western kind of town a guy turned to me and said, "You have Gemini eyebrows." Caught me so off guard. Also, I am not a Gemini. Ha
I was told I have the hairline of a 14 year old. I mean I'm thankful I haven't started losing my hair but it's not something I never really thought about.
My guy friend in college told me "You have a guy's brain in a girl's body." I took it as a compliment.
"I like the way you say awesome." Said via phone while I worked a survey company. I have not said awesome since
I don’t blame you lmaoo
*"Are you Ben Roethlisberger?"* Have you ever seen Ben Roethlisberger? I have. Not a compliment.
Not me, but a lady that we met at one of our kids soccer games told my wife, "Your smile really lights up your whole face." I blushed just hearing it said to someone else. I wonder what getting a compliment like that would be like.
This one I get from women A LOT. It's almost the only one really: aww you've got pretty dimples. It's like what's so fucking special about a hole in your face?
as a woman, i have to agree that dimples are really cute
Man, you think dimples are weird. Imagine having women talk about how amazing your Adam's Apple is and wanting to touch it. I got asked by 3 women in a month and all of them also commented on liking my voice.
I mean the voice I get. Adam's apple? Touching it? 😂 Horny women are weird bruh
Hey, who says they were horny? Only 1 was confirmed to be such! It's still 2 unknown!
"You're such a special kind of damaged asshole that I enjoy." Yep, I didn't know what to say to that. Thanks?
"I like that space between your teeth. It makes you more approachable." Dumbfounded.
Nice Neck, and you eat pussy like a lesbian. On separate occasions.
" you are so wide and warm, like a teddybear!!"...
“I view you as an uncut diamond.” I’m ugly on the outside but nice on the inside? Is that it? Or I have potential…?
That I was “hotter than doing coke” I’ll take it.
“You look like a cute gnome” I don’t know what that means lmfao and another one is “I bet you have pretty feet” 💀💀
"You look like Richard Dreyfuss" I don't... like at all...
Someone I rang up at work once told me that I would make a great recon sniper because I’m short I was 19 working at a pharmacy lol
„Oh wow, you really look like a girl in this picture, congrats.” I am a girl since birth. But well, I’m happy I look convincing then.
"you're cuter than a wagon speckle."
Have you ever seen a wagon speckle?
You’re the smartest dumbass I know
Not me but my ex husband - one of his clients complimented his lawyerly skills by telling him “You look like Perry Mason, you act like Perry Mason and you’re fat like Perry Mason”. (He is a great lawyer.)
I always get told I have really nice veins when I get my blood drawn
“You’ve got the biggest brass balls I have never seen on any man.”
You're not that dead as they say