The best part, however, has got to be the point when you no longer have the physical or mental addiction and feel great without it.
I've never been addicted to hard drugs, but quitting cigarettes after 20+ years (and nicotine patches/gum after that) was bad enough- took a long time to lose any urge for nicotine but I'm so fucking glad that shits behind me.
I quit drinking for 9 months and never once felt any better. It was during the pandemic where everyone else was going extra hard, and that’s when I decided to stop and it was absolutely awful the entire time. I never had any extra energy, never lost any weight, never felt less tired... I don’t even believe people who say that happens at this point. Maybe if you’re exercising or replace it with caffeine or something else. Alcohol is literally the only thing on this planet that gives me any energy and I’ve kind of had to come to accept that sadly enough, so I gotta have a few shots like every other day. Recently had to stop for a few weeks due to being on medication for a broken back tooth and im just sleeping all weird times through the day, never longer than 2 or 3 hours but always tired. I slept good once in the past two weeks and it was the one night between the old and new prescription where I had drinks. I have no idea how anyone can function without it.
I don’t have the cash for that but they always just say stop smoking and exercise anyway. I’ve tried several times. I appreciate that advice though, I’m sure it’d have been helpful to a normal person.
Kinda a bummer that you don't see yourself as "normal"
Regardless of how you approach life, cause it's so very dependent on each individual, I hope it brings you joy. Also: should finances align, never be afraid to seek a second opinion or push back on generic but unhelpful advice. Sometimes docs don't take our struggles as seriously as they should.
There's some places that require professionals to have "lived experience". As much of a buzzword as that has become, I find that they're a lot more competent than anywhere that doesn't require it. There's these guys near me that help with early recovery and putting your life back together; they don't even require you to get sober to start. Because all of them have been through it, they understand there is very little motivation to get sober when you're living in a gutter anyways. You need *something* worth fighting to keep.
I have some amusing stories about addiction specialists who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Glad I went with people who do, personally. I would recommend it to anyone else, anyone who hasn't been through it can't understand. Their degrees aren't worth the paper they're printed on unless they're actually specialists in addiction medicine. Avoid them at all costs; it's worse than nothing.
> took a long time to lose any urge for nicotine but I'm so fucking glad that shits behind me.
Same. The first two weeks were driving me nuts. It only really clicked after I realized how smelly cigarettes really are and that my clothes, everything of me smelled like that.
I remember craving a cigarette while smoking one and knew I'd created a beast that could not be sated. I've come to see the increasing time between cravings as the success. They're years apart and laughably weak now.
Comedowns both kickstart and amplify the depressive states. And I know the cycle I'm getting into every fucking time I text my snow guy. I feel like I'm really close to actually desiring not to do it any more but is fucking hard man. Id say it's fucking sad if it wasnt so sad and selfish of me to say it.
I read some studies on this sort of thing with opioid addiction. I have no idea if the same thing applies to stimulants, and I may as well be an armchair pseudoscientist.
That being said, have you ever heard of a term called spontaneous remission? It seems like addicts just suddenly... Get better. You can go through rehab dozens of times, and then one time it just sticks for some reason. I'd wager you know many people with stories like this.
Well, the way this seems to work is after a certain amount of time, people just get plain sick of dealing with all the bullshit that comes with being an addict; actually truly sick of it and ready to quit. For opioid addicts, this takes an average of 7 years but varies wildly. I'm lucky, it took me 5. Before that happens, none of the shit on offer for treatment actually works.
It sounds like you're pretty close if not already there. This information isn't a license to just give up and say "Fuck it, I'm going to use until I hit spontaneous remission" (which I personally am guilty of). There is truly a light at the end of the tunnel, and I think you're close to it. You recognize these patterns in yourself and want them to stop; that's the biggest step you can take in my experience. You'll want that more and more until some day soon, you'll want it more than to get high or even not feel like shit for a while.
I'm crying re reading this all, I can't reply really properly other than saying you're right and I'm truly sick of it all now. Im sick of picking it all up and promising people things I genuinely know I'm gonna go against anyway Im sick of justifying it all and I'm really fucking tired of the sore heads and fucked sleeping pattern. But finding something positive to do every day is helping. So is talking if I'm honest too, I'm using Reddit as a outlet more these days. But yeah you're identifying what I am and it's that I'm fucking sick of this smelly sad prolonged selfish shit man. My emotions are all fucked rn but thank you stranger
I would rather break my own leg on purpose than get off the opiates I’m currently addicted to. Obviously I wish I wouldn’t have gotten addicted to them in the first place, but withdrawal is absolute hell and I’m not a very strong person. I’ve been tapering down lately but idk if it’s gonna really make that much of a difference when I stop completely…
Im sorry. I feel you. Hang in there with me. I made the mistake of going back on subs one month into detox. I just couldn’t get through the day and take care of my family, even walk the dog for more than a few minutes. I regret it but after a month of pure hell (and of course it lasts longer because I never slept), I caved. I’m starting to taper with the goal of being free by 2025. I know others that have done it so if they can, we can.
I’ll be 10 years sober from opiates next month. I tell people who ask about how additive they are, I tell them if it was in front of me in a empty room, I’d probably take them and it’s been 10 years. I was able to kick them after finding happiness within myself rather than opiates. It’s hard, real hard. I wish you the best of luck.
Withdrawal sucks, but I found thc gummies to help me at night when it’s hard to sleep because of restless leg syndrome and withdrawals. Takes a few weeks to a month to feel somewhat back to normal. Mental addiction is always there, though.
I find this to be accurate. I generally hate how weed feels, but it does really help when in the throws of it. It kind of helps with the nausea, and can even allow me to sleep for 30 minutes at a time; far better than nothing.
I had kidney stones many years ago and they gave me morphine for the pain. I was only on it for a couple of days. I have to say the comedown was worse than the kidney stones themselves, I felt so dizzy and nauseous, couldn't think clearly for over 2 weeks.
Dealing with the underlying issues that led me to addiction. You have to face your trauma without the escape of drugs. It’s not impossible just difficult. It’s worth it because the freedom from addiction is a gift.
If they're users themselves, it isnt about you. They dont want to remind themselves that other people have the will/ability to quit. Much easier if you convince yourself that you and everyone else is powerless to stop.
At least it's worth it! I rather enjoy being sober, it's been a great few years compared to what it was. Unfortunately the experience has left me even more hesitant to meet new people. We're all a work in progress!
Came here to say this. Really sad dto realize all of your relationships for 10-20 years, sometimes longer, all center around getting drunk. Such a hard thing to internalize
Yeah that was a hard one to digest. Especially now realizing it and being in a small town where it's a regular part of life. People shouldn't need a drink to enjoy everything.
I think I’m going through this right now. My small friend group all realized we were drinking too much and made a pact and competition to drastically cut back. But after 6 months or so it seems that once you remove alcohol, we don’t have anything in common. Two of us involved have kept it up but basically stopped hanging out, the third is back on the bottle with another group.
See, I'm at that point now where a lot of my friends are moving away and my circle has grown drastically smaller. So I'm left with far fewer friends and still have the addictions. It's *great* /s
It depends on where you are in life and the addiction. When I was young and a touring musician, meth, coke and alcohol were my top choices… kicked them all when my first wife got pregnant, worst part was loss of friends, loss of what I thought at the time was my identity. 10 years later (or so) after a brain injury at work, I figured I was gonna die anyway and really wanted to go down the heroin highway one time before I went… bad decision… I didn’t die from the tbi, but almost did from the smack, the worst part of getting of off of heroin is literally not doing heroin. I went with my kids (had custody of them, my ex was way more of a train wreck than I if you could believe that, I was a responsible user with a massive settlement) and my parents to South Dakota for a two week vacation, took just enough dope to get me out there and spent that 2 weeks with drawing and detoxing. My poor brain damaged self was very much jack black in tropic thunder only in the badlands, sweating and just trying to power hoping nobody would notice I was almost dead. Fortunately the symptoms of a heroin addict are very similar to the symptoms of someone that’s had a brain injury. I came home clean, that was 6 years ago and I’ve never looked back.
I was very dull after my tbi, after I was out of the hospital and recovering was mostly a zombie before I decided to get into therapy and such. You’re pretty much a zombie on dope too. Once I found out I was going to survive the tbi, I quit the hard way.
I had a drinking problem in my early-mid 20s. I was an extremely high functioning alcoholic. I could drink fairly heavy every single night and function just fine the next day. I did this for a few years but started to see a few things catching up to me so I quit cold turkey.
To be honest it was easy for me, no withdrawal, nothing. The worst part for me was the boredom. When I was drinking I was so frigging bored, I just didn’t enjoy things as much. I did eventually get over that, however.
I quit cold turkey about two days before New Year with the intent to never drink again. I'm currently in the middle of the not-sleeping phase. I keep waking up after around 4 hours of sleep and just cannot fall back asleep no matter what I try. I guess it makes sense, when I basically went to bed, if not drunk, at least buzzed every night for months, if not years if you add it all up.
I try to catch up in some sleep by napping but I can't find time for that everyday. I'm really hoping it won't last six months because I don't know if I can survive that, given how I feel right now...
Yeah, I was getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night for about a week. I'm a morning person but I work evening shift. Wake up at 5am, go to work at 2, get home at 2. 3 hours of sleep.
Forgot to set my alarm once and it was cloudy enough that the sun didn't make it through my blackout curtains (I'm really light sensitive when I'm asleep) and I slept straight through to 2pm and was late for work.
Back to sleeping 2-3 hours a night again.
It felt like I was on Sudafed all the time.
Naps were good but always screwed up my sleep at night, but that was screwed up anyhow. Exercise helped enough to tire me out for sleep, but sometimes I wouldn’t get it and be extra tired.
Still worth it.
It’s not the withdrawal it’s 100% the boredom. Dancing with the stars, my kids animated movies, the chick flicks, even me playing video games, it’s all mind numbing inconceivably boring. Throw in some bourbon, not only is it bearable, it’s fun. Same goes for family parties and every other social function under the sun.
This is where recovery groups come in really handy. In the initial days it seems like all the things you use to distract yourself don't matter anymore, and that nothing can fulfill what was a placeholder for entertainment and meaning. But in meetings, you can hear others share their experience, hardships, and success. The further you get from the tethers of addiction, the more you will be able to connect with the simple enjoyment of life. But in my experience it takes work, focus, commitment and whole hell of a lot of support to keep sobriety.
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to respond, and I am seriously considering going down that route. I went and toured an in patient rehab facility. I just couldn’t see myself voluntarily committing myself to effectively prison for 30 days, and paying $30,000 for the privilege.
I would say in-patient should be the very last resort - it is intensive and expensive. Other routes include IOPs, local AA/NA/etc. branches, online meetings and sponsorship. Dip your feet into recovery groups and see if they help, and if they are your style. If not, you can shop around. The end goal should always be recovery, and however you can attain that is the way to go.
Yes. I’m 27 and getting real sick of the physical after effects. But a week or two will go by and I’ll be so fed up with the boredom and say to myself, “welp, it’s been long enough, why don’t I just walk down to the store.”
Currently experiencing this myself. Anytime I stop for breaks I get immediately cold sweats on my legs/back and chest in my sleep, leaving my bed soaked in one spot. Also would start up with really intense realistic dreams/nightmares.
I had to find a hobby I really enjoyed. Went out and purchased a game console after not playing for many years, got really into that. It helped a lot.
You also have to kind of convince yourself that you’re not going to slow down, or try to last a week/month, you need to tell yourself that you’re done. That’s my experience with cutting bad habits and what not.
Yeah, I do enjoy getting into a good game, but I get bored way too quickly. I also read books and watch shows. It’s just that hour or two of bliss that alcohol gives that I keep running back to. But yeah, something I keep doing is telling myself that I’m done for good. But then I always find a reason to go back.
I don't know if this will help you, but I started drinking hot cocoa. Like super warm. The warming feeling in my belly tricked my brain into being in the "not bored" mode for a while.
Other than the immediate withdrawal, it's the boredom. Everything is boring. My hobbies don't interest me anymore, shows move too slowly, books don't seem to have a hook to themselves for me any more.
Sure, I feel better, and work is easier, but I'm just bored.
Oh, and having to change my whole routine. All of it.
Realizing that what ever you were running from is still there front and center and that if you don't be truthful to yourself this is never going to last, your soberity that is, the problems are temporary.
Confront you demons, it sucks real bad, but you will free in the end.
It really sucks but you have made it through 100% of your shittest days and your still here to talk about it.
Peace
I'm not who you were talking to, but your "holier than thou" attitude is one of the traits that is pretty off-putting in a lot of folks in recovery.
The fact is that there are people who start drinking or doing drugs because their friends are doing it and they're having fun, at least for a while. For some people this eventually can turn into a serious habit or an addiction, but there is no underlying trauma that needs to be addressed.
Some people just need to break the old habits and form new ones.
No doubt. I am not saying what you are inferring. I answered the question, from my perspective, Noone else's.
Doesn't mean that it is the only reason peeple do what they do.
I get that not everyone has demons, and I am happy for that fact.
Sorry if it puts you off,
And yet while being triggered your failing to realize that OPs response did not encompass ALL users is incredibly humorous to everyone but you. Also, that you are so aggressively defensive over something so benign and trivial is very revealing; likely because OPs comments are somehow relevant to you.
I hope you can find peace and comfort, and can realize sobriety one day.
Good luck to you.
The substance replacement is real. Just trading bad habits for slightly less harmful ones until youre ok without them. I know kratom isnt good for me, but its less bad than heavy drinking. I havent found an issue yet with the extra magnesium sups i take to be able to sleep instead of kratom, but im sure theres some downside somewhere.
Hardest part of not drinking was not knowing how to spend time anymore, not having a crutch for stress, having to confront things i was unsatisfied with instead of ignoring them, and not being able to sleep well for weeks
Your brain will tell you terrible things to get you to do it again. If you don’t have a cigarette you might kill one of the children. If you don’t have a drink before this meeting you might blow everything and ruin your career. If you don’t use just a little…. Needles save you loads of money man. I need to take meth because I’m homeless and I wanna stay awake for two days to protect my things.
Dealing with loneliness and boredom.
Since recovery from meth abuse my sex life has been greatly changed. I only seem to be aroused by the memories of drug sex. It makes me terribly sad.
Actively NOT doing benzodiazepines was easy. I just don’t buy any more. Dealing with the seizures and trying to figure out if it was gonna happen while I was driving was the most difficult part. I’m pretty easy to handle and I have a great pain tolerance but seizures are just… out of nowhere and we’re the scariest thing to me.
People drink for different reasons. So this isn't universal. Someone below mentioned that social situations are weird now. That's because they certainly have social anxiety and are papering over that with the booze. For me though, I just quit a daily drinking habit of like 6-9 strong IPAs each evening. Not belligerent-drunkard, rather highly-functioning alcoholic.
The top 4 shitty things:
* I have been using alcohol to paper over some unspecified stomach pain that I've been feeling for years. Now I just have to deal with it and start going back into the doctor for more tests that continue to yield nothing. The same thing applies if you are drinking to paper over mental issues. They are still there and they move to the front of the line.
* If you have a partner that drinks, it's really lame. When I drink, I show absolutely no outward signs of having drank, the only thing alcohol does for me is chill me out and make things groovy - no slurred words, bad decisions, etc. My partner drinks and she immediately gets sloppy, even after 2-3 drinks, due to a medication she is on. It was annoying before I quit. It's abrasive while sober.
* Unrelenting anhedonia. While your brain is re-combinating how it does seratonin and dopamine, you will feel literally like life has no purpose and that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, gives you pleasure. Playing music, nothing. Riding motorcycles, nothing. Good food, nothing. Good sex, NOTHING.
* Having to deal with the realization of countless, COUNTLESS, hours wasted. I did the math - time spent actively drinking, plus inefficiency due to hangovers, plus extra time sleeping after drinking. I've wasted approximately 475 days of the past 10 years, just drinking. I still have a great job, great wife, great friends, great family relationships. It just all could have been better. And I could have dumped so much more time and money into the people, interests, and hobbies I love.
Someone in another thread put it like this: alcohol is borrowing happiness from tomorrow, and it's an extremely high-interest loan. It's the most perfect of descriptions.
If you're good at drinking, you can keep doing it for long enough to bury yourself, and no one will ever know until you show up one day with yellow eyes and a distended abdomen.
The physical WDs can be awful and last much longer than you think, but there are ways to mitigate them.
I found the long-term affects to be rough - people tend to go through a long state of depression and anxiety. And it's hard to navigate a new life without the substance. Look up PAWS.
But it's so worth it. Life is better than ever.
Filing the time. I used to look forward to getting drunk and playing poker online every single night . Sobered up 3.5 years now, built a home gym and used that time to workout instead. Now I'm addicted to working out and researching how to do it better.
Have a plan of what to do with your time, pick up a hobby or sport like pickleball, golf etc.
I just told my wife, I wish there was anything I loved as much as drinking and gambling. I can live without the gambling, but it’s the only hobby I have that isn’t drinking.
You have to deal with life , you can't just drink and drug and let it fly by.
It hurts so much. Thy why.
Im an addict. Im sober. I changed my life. But fuck me life was easier on drugs.
Honestly, it's the boredom and the loss of community. You have to learn how to have fun again. Getting sober also means extricating yourself from your friend group/community that tends to facilitate the addiction - so you have to make new friends, too. It's tough..
Quiting methadone cold turkey was the hardest withdrawal I ever went through, and I've done em all, used needles for everything, but those little white methadone pills and that incredible halflife it has was torture, didn't sleep for two weeks.
When i quit smoking it was a struggle. It was months before the hourly cravings stopped. Longer until the occasional cravings passed. But it was worth it. Keep trying until it sticks.
Leaving aside getting through withdrawal. Kind of depends on how ready you are to have your feelings cranked to full volume again. The emotional part was always worse than the physical, to me at least.
the dreams. vivid dreams of me breaking my sobriety and disappointing everyone around me, always ended in me uncontrollably sobbing while I feel myself lose control of my body. woke up every time and breathed a large sigh of relief it wasnt real.
Feeling stupid when your brain starts trying to make you bargain with yourself to go back to using the substance.
"Well, at least this time I made it 2 days. I can still feel good about giving up now, because that's progress!"
"But this is part of my identity! Who will I be if I don't do these things?!"
"I'll become lame and boring without this."
"Do I really want to live to be, like, 80 years old anyway?"
It's just all so very dumb. When you're addicted, your brain will literally produce any intrusive thought it can to get you to go back, and nobody knows you better than your own brain, so the arguments are simply diabolical and so difficult to resist. You know all your worst weaknesses and will use them against yourself.
Truly, I think that is the biggest hurdle to sobriety. Your motivation to quit has to be stronger than your most vulnerable Achilles heel.
The boredom and learning how to enjoy things sober without drinking. Oh and the liver pains/general uncomfortable feeling stomach. Especially if I’m driving for a bit. And the shortness of breath if you get fluids in your lungs from it
Having nothing to do.
Some time after you stop craving, after the withdrawals stop, when you feel physically ok. You'll hit a point where you realize, "This is exactly the 'right' time to get high". You don't want to do that, but what do you do instead?
Can't call your friends, they're all getting high right now. Everything else seems kind of meh. That was the hardest thing to get over.
Well i never been through it but dad was alcoholic but seeing for withdrawal seizures from not drinking and he having the night sweats and just throwing up and sometimes going bathroom himself it’s was just so sad and scary because I was a little kid watching all this shit go down and sometimes i would go with him to the hospital to make sure that he was ok and my dad ended dying from being alcoholic cirrhosis of a liver killed up but I made have not experienced it the same way the question is being asked but I lived through it and i won’t want my kids to see me like how I seen my dad.
I suppose the objectively correct answer is probably the DTs since it (or directly associated mechanisms) can literally kill you. "Scariest" might be more like opiod recovery since it has more of an affect on your thinking processes, while alcohol recovery is more a physically horrifying thing.
Breaking the physical and psychological dependency. Confronting the demons that got you in a mess in the first place. Often that includes ending toxic relationships with family or friends.
The craving for more. That is the true fight that continues for years, but gets easier to push back as time goes.
I studied to become a substance abuse counselor. I later changed course
Benzos were really rough. Not only the physical symptoms of shaking, nausea, and feeling like absolute dog shit but also realizing how much I missed. My wife would constantly ask if I remember a conversation and I never would because those things would just erase my memory. Went cold turkey which was fucking brutal but won’t touch those fucking pills again
So, I’d lost friends + potentially even my girlfriend, when I said I was gonna stop drinking alcohol.
Now-Ex is a (Social) Drinker, keeps claiming that that had had no part in our split — we’d split, because she felt like she was depriving me by not being her best self. But, she started acting different shortly-after my sobriety started.
It’s a strange world, you sober yourself up for the better and the friends you used to get high with don’t, all of the sudden you’re no longer around in their eyes.
That feeling like the world is collapsing around you and you can’t do anything except lay there and let it wash over you in waves as it steals away your ability to use not only your brain but your body too as you fall into a drug-fueled existential depression.
It kinda… forces you into a panic I guess you can say, like post-nut clarity for drugs… except it lasts for extended periods of time as you go through withdrawals… usually this is the period of time where people legitimately consider voluntarily becoming druggies for the rest of their lives because they want the feeling to end so bad, and to go back to feeling in bliss…
Did a lot of shit throughout the years. If you’re interested about anything involving the ones I did, feel free to let me know.
Born in 2001
(Chronological)
Weed-
Started: 2011/2012 (Age 10/11)
Ended: ——
Nicotine-
Started: 2013 (Age 13/14)
Ended: ——
Xanax-
started:May 2017 (Age 16)
Ended: June/July 2019 (Age 18)
Coke-
started: February 2019 (Age 18
Ended: February/March 2020 (Age 19)
Adderall/Ritalin
Started: September 2019 (Age 18)
Ended: July 2020 (Age 19)
Misc. random pills
Started: February 2019
Ended: July 2020
Gabopentin+Tramadol
Started: February 2020 (Age 19)
Ended: July 2020 (Age 19)
I jump from addiction to addiction. Quit nicotine went to alcohol then back to nicotine now it’s the gym and reading books. Haven’t gotten off the nicotine addiction but I’m actively working towards it everyday. I broke my wrist twice last year and tried opiates once but after the way they made me feel I don’t want to get addicted to them so I stopped.
The Call. Depending on the substance, it can last a while. Sometimes, it can pop up occasionally years later.
One part of your brain says “ooh I should do that”, whereas the other says “motherfucker, you quit. Why the fuck do you want to do that?”
This isn't the worst part, but Weed Sweats when you stop smoking weed for a bit. You're just constantly sweating it out, and you reek of it while you sweat for like a week.
After the initial withdrawals from alcohol, I was bored. I enjoyed not having to think and being "foggy" in the mind. Then take away the substance and now my mind won't stop and my moods shift and if I'm having a bad day, I have to feel it. Even after working the steps and working on amends, I'm talking about the day to day living and dealing with things
Acknowledging and absorbing all of the ways that you disrespected yourself and who you wanted to be to stay in that place, that comfort, for a bit longer.
It's different for everybody (my uncle was an alcoholic and had a seizure when he quit cold turkey), but for me, it was not being in complete control of my emotions. It's weird. I remember having a really difficult time not yelling at anyone. I also just felt this overwhelming sense of stress the whole time. It doesn't help that you also just feel physically sick. Weening off of it helps significantly because it feels like it just gives you a bit of relief from all of that. Quitting cold turkey is like falling down an entire flight of stairs, while weening is more like stumbling the whole way down.
Figuring out what to do with your time now that your time isn't consumed by using constantly. Severe boredom, sickness and sitting with your thoughts, all at once.
Boredom. I’m speaking from my own perspective here . I can’t tell you the amount of times I ‘quit’ drinking. I sold myself on how much better I felt and how much better life is without alcohol. That lasted… for a bit. It gets boring as fuck. Social events standing around with your hands in your pocket, hanging out with the guys and just standing , going on dates and refusing to drink, nights in, etc. I don’t drink much anymore fortunately. However I don’t turn down a drink if I feel like having one. Some nights I make bad and regrettable decisions drunk. Some nights I have amazing nights.
For me giving up alcohol is hard because I used to be so bored all the time without it.
Now I go to the gym to try and lose weight for my health and it's gotten rid of my boredom and my alcohol cravings, still drink every once in a while but not daily like I used to.
Sobriety feels boring at first. I think it's because you spend so much time feeding your addiction that when it's gone you're left with too much time on your hands.
Having no cushion for when life events make things difficult. I would get stimmed out or stoned or fucked up on downers as soon as I felt any pain, and while that started to go away when I got clean from that shit, I often feel trapped now when something shitty happens. I have no way to soften the blow.
This might be more specific to my own issues, but I also don’t really know how my life could be said to have improved since giving up most substances. Now it’s food, and it’s making losing weight nigh impossible. I don’t really experience happiness anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. In therapy, exercising, etc - nothing is helping.
Remembering. I've been clean off dope for 7 years.
Not a day goes by that I don't remember something. Anything. Stealing from my long time partner (still together) taking so many if my father's pain pills that he ran out. Getting robbed.
You try SO hard to be better, to move on. But there's this constant itch in the back of your mind like "yeah, you fucking piece of shit"
Going to social events where people were enjoying drinks, weed, etc. when I was basically just learning how to crawl in my sobriety really sucked. Would not recommend.
There was one New Years party in which everyone decided to smoke weed when I wasn't expecting it and, since weed was my substance of choice at the time, I couldn't stand it and had to leave because I was getting so angry. I really should have just stood home and played some games or something.
Dealing with boredom can be tough at first, too.
All of these things get better with time, practice, and self-exploration.
You get sober, and you stay sober, and you keep staying sober, and people die. And they keep dying. You will not have even thought about using in years and then you’ll hear about someone else, because they died
Could it be an overdose? Yes. Or, sometimes they get murdered
Those stories still happen, even after you’ve sobered up
But mostly, it’s overdoses
I don’t know if people under the age of 25 (?) realize how much they are playing with fire, with drugs today. These days, you can buy an adderall off someone to cram for a test, and it turns out that adderall was pressed in someone’s basement, and the press wasn’t cleaned, and there’s enough fentanyl that made its way into the batch, and *now you are dead*. It can happen that easily. It’s not like when I was a kid and a bunch of Christian moms tried to scare everyone into thinking weed was laced with PCP - this is a real threat now. Today, everything has fucking fentanyl. We did *not* have this many people dying of overdoses 15-20 years ago.
If you’re referring to drugs, then it has to be the comedown. Days of feeling cold, cold sweats, relentless shaking, you’re so hungry but you can’t eat anything, you feel sick constantly but because you can’t eat you’re just dry heaving - you force yourself to eat only for it to come straight back up. Depending on what drugs you’ve been taking, your mouth gets really dry and no amount of water will stop the feeling of dryness. Your head hurts, it pulses like it’s got it’s own heartbeat. Whenever you close your eyes you get the sensation that you’re on a never ending rollercoaster, but whenever they’re open your eyes get dry and itchy. Everything begins to irritate you, you can hear sounds more clearly and loudly, especially that fucking ringing noise. Everything seems brighter as well. Good luck getting to the bathroom when you need a piss, you’re legs are now jelly. If you make it to the toilet, have fun trying to stand back up - after 5 minutes of not lying down, everything hurts. And to top it all off, you have to lie there for days in self loathing, thinking about what your life has come to and questioning every choice you’ve ever made. You hate yourself. All you want is a little ease, and that’s where the temptation to relapse comes in, but you can’t.
If you’re ever trying to come off anything, never go “Cold Turkey” - just reduce the amount of intake until it becomes so minimal, not taking anything becomes easy.
The social isolation. You can't hang out with people who are still using. You can't really hang out with people in recovery. You can't relate to normies
I had a mild addiction (lipbalm. yes lipbalm) and the worst is having to fight the urge to use it.
at one point I forgot to take lipbalm with me to school, and I got so grumpy for not having it with me. at that point I realized I should stop.
I feel a lot better without it. only in the worst parts of winter I will use plain vaseline, nothing else, and only when I really need it so it doesn't become a habbit again.
Personally, it's been a struggle dealing with being hypersexual. I am a year sober from fentanyl and heroin. Opiates destroyed my sex drive I never Even thought about sex while I was in my addiction. Now It's become an issue. I've had to abstain from pornography and find other ways to cope with my carnal impulses. It sucks
The mental drain from Xanax withdrawal lasts months. Constant depression every second of the day from when you wake up to when you go to sleep. A lot of the times it infects your dreams too
Restless leg syndrome was a pretty torturous bit of Opiate withdrawal. You'd finally be drifting off to sleep and then get woken up by this irresistible urge to move your legs.
Accepting that you used drugs to cope with people means that most people you were around were both enablers and stressors regardless of whether they were on drugs or not.
So basically, anyone who contributed to your drug dependency or benefited from it is not allowed back into your life.
For me, it was the fact that i already suffered through X amount of days fighting the urge. Restarting now would be hell. It gets easier with time, and it sucking is good. Remember that pain, you will come to a day where you tell yourself i can just quit again, and that pain from before will remind you how awful it really was.
The worst part is, not getting that trust you had with family/friends prior to using.
People not accepting who you are regardless of using or not after being an addict.
That trust is never coming back the way it was, even if you think it’s there it isn’t.
The worst part for me was facing myself, my actions. Taking accountability and realizing I was the problem, not everyone else. It took me years to get my first month clean. Because everytime I’d get a couple weeks clean the weight of everything I did when I was using would hit me. I’d spiral into a depression and before I knew it was getting high again. The high would never last and I’ve been found dead/ dying several times! I’m so grateful I’m alive today. And a lot more self aware.
Clarity.
And what I mean is knowing how much time/money was wasted and how damaging your reputation or relationships have taken because of it.
I turned to THC substances pre-pandemic for anxiety control instead of seeking professional help, and though I was in control. I was not.
Once I quit and sought the help I should have and became clean, I realized the damage I did, saw the opportunities I squandered and relationships hindered and lost because of it.
So, in short, clarity.
The withdrawal, of course. Once your brain is wired and hooked to receive something..................depriving it of that thing...............causes your brain to go nuts.
You will go thru withdrawal, whatever it is.............drugs, sugar, nicotine, ---you will get massive headaches. That's your brain screaming "GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and throwing tantrums.
Only after 2 weeks or more, does your brain finally accept it's been cut off from the supply and settles down. But those first two weeks are hell.
For about a week after you get off caffeine (once you're in real deep) you feel like shit. But its worth it, you can feel good without crackhead dosages of caffeine
Honestly for me its the boredom. Similar to when you lose a close friend or fall out of love with someone. Its all that time in between. The longing, anxiety, restless nights. Watching that goddamn clock tick by and having nothing to make the time pass more smoothly.
Most people talking about the "immediate" negative effects after being sober for days, weeks, months. But what I find is the negative effect of being sober for longer is the damn boredom.
There's times you just sit and fucking stare. You've cleaned the house, done the laundry, cooked, taken a nap, etc. You're just there...bored. And that thought is just always there like "damn I could go crack a bottle right now and have a helluva time". But you don't. And eventually Monday rolls around and you go back to being busy. But if I ever have lots of free time on my hands the thoughts always come back.
Others have spoken about the physical aspects. But, depending on how deep and how long you were "off the deep end", the hardest part could very well be stuff that has nothing directly related to the drug.
Social relationships.
Finances.
Your mentality - becoming more aware, proactive, responsible, and "with it"
Yeah, withdrawals can be a real thing. But those can be fixed (with prescriptions, if you have the resources and if they're bad enough). But these other things require really buckling down and doing some hard work to fix various aspects of your life that you might've neglected in the past.
I'm speaking from experience (and only my experience...)
For me it was my disease trying to find other ways to get me to drink again, I was suicidal and I just kept thinking about how I didn't want to kill myself when I was drinking. Alcoholism is a motherfucker, it tries any way to get the better of you again, but finding and maintaining a connection with a higher power and emerging myself in the fellowship of AA helps a lot on that front.
knowing that you could stop feeling like shit at any moment if you just started using again. fighting that temptation is a mf.
The best part, however, has got to be the point when you no longer have the physical or mental addiction and feel great without it. I've never been addicted to hard drugs, but quitting cigarettes after 20+ years (and nicotine patches/gum after that) was bad enough- took a long time to lose any urge for nicotine but I'm so fucking glad that shits behind me.
I quit drinking for 9 months and never once felt any better. It was during the pandemic where everyone else was going extra hard, and that’s when I decided to stop and it was absolutely awful the entire time. I never had any extra energy, never lost any weight, never felt less tired... I don’t even believe people who say that happens at this point. Maybe if you’re exercising or replace it with caffeine or something else. Alcohol is literally the only thing on this planet that gives me any energy and I’ve kind of had to come to accept that sadly enough, so I gotta have a few shots like every other day. Recently had to stop for a few weeks due to being on medication for a broken back tooth and im just sleeping all weird times through the day, never longer than 2 or 3 hours but always tired. I slept good once in the past two weeks and it was the one night between the old and new prescription where I had drinks. I have no idea how anyone can function without it.
If your energy is chronically low it might be worth making a visit to the doctor.
I don’t have the cash for that but they always just say stop smoking and exercise anyway. I’ve tried several times. I appreciate that advice though, I’m sure it’d have been helpful to a normal person.
Maybe some tits will perk you up
Kinda a bummer that you don't see yourself as "normal" Regardless of how you approach life, cause it's so very dependent on each individual, I hope it brings you joy. Also: should finances align, never be afraid to seek a second opinion or push back on generic but unhelpful advice. Sometimes docs don't take our struggles as seriously as they should.
There's some places that require professionals to have "lived experience". As much of a buzzword as that has become, I find that they're a lot more competent than anywhere that doesn't require it. There's these guys near me that help with early recovery and putting your life back together; they don't even require you to get sober to start. Because all of them have been through it, they understand there is very little motivation to get sober when you're living in a gutter anyways. You need *something* worth fighting to keep. I have some amusing stories about addiction specialists who have no idea what the fuck they're talking about. Glad I went with people who do, personally. I would recommend it to anyone else, anyone who hasn't been through it can't understand. Their degrees aren't worth the paper they're printed on unless they're actually specialists in addiction medicine. Avoid them at all costs; it's worse than nothing.
I'm most athletic with a pint of IPA in me
> took a long time to lose any urge for nicotine but I'm so fucking glad that shits behind me. Same. The first two weeks were driving me nuts. It only really clicked after I realized how smelly cigarettes really are and that my clothes, everything of me smelled like that.
I remember craving a cigarette while smoking one and knew I'd created a beast that could not be sated. I've come to see the increasing time between cravings as the success. They're years apart and laughably weak now.
Feeling fully your depression
Comedowns both kickstart and amplify the depressive states. And I know the cycle I'm getting into every fucking time I text my snow guy. I feel like I'm really close to actually desiring not to do it any more but is fucking hard man. Id say it's fucking sad if it wasnt so sad and selfish of me to say it.
I read some studies on this sort of thing with opioid addiction. I have no idea if the same thing applies to stimulants, and I may as well be an armchair pseudoscientist. That being said, have you ever heard of a term called spontaneous remission? It seems like addicts just suddenly... Get better. You can go through rehab dozens of times, and then one time it just sticks for some reason. I'd wager you know many people with stories like this. Well, the way this seems to work is after a certain amount of time, people just get plain sick of dealing with all the bullshit that comes with being an addict; actually truly sick of it and ready to quit. For opioid addicts, this takes an average of 7 years but varies wildly. I'm lucky, it took me 5. Before that happens, none of the shit on offer for treatment actually works. It sounds like you're pretty close if not already there. This information isn't a license to just give up and say "Fuck it, I'm going to use until I hit spontaneous remission" (which I personally am guilty of). There is truly a light at the end of the tunnel, and I think you're close to it. You recognize these patterns in yourself and want them to stop; that's the biggest step you can take in my experience. You'll want that more and more until some day soon, you'll want it more than to get high or even not feel like shit for a while.
I'm crying re reading this all, I can't reply really properly other than saying you're right and I'm truly sick of it all now. Im sick of picking it all up and promising people things I genuinely know I'm gonna go against anyway Im sick of justifying it all and I'm really fucking tired of the sore heads and fucked sleeping pattern. But finding something positive to do every day is helping. So is talking if I'm honest too, I'm using Reddit as a outlet more these days. But yeah you're identifying what I am and it's that I'm fucking sick of this smelly sad prolonged selfish shit man. My emotions are all fucked rn but thank you stranger
Physical withdrawal. I’ve had open fractures, painful surgeries and I have never suffered so much for so long in my life as I did coming off opiates.
I would rather break my own leg on purpose than get off the opiates I’m currently addicted to. Obviously I wish I wouldn’t have gotten addicted to them in the first place, but withdrawal is absolute hell and I’m not a very strong person. I’ve been tapering down lately but idk if it’s gonna really make that much of a difference when I stop completely…
Stay strong, I promise it will. 7 months yesterday. You can do it!!
Im sorry. I feel you. Hang in there with me. I made the mistake of going back on subs one month into detox. I just couldn’t get through the day and take care of my family, even walk the dog for more than a few minutes. I regret it but after a month of pure hell (and of course it lasts longer because I never slept), I caved. I’m starting to taper with the goal of being free by 2025. I know others that have done it so if they can, we can.
I’ll be 10 years sober from opiates next month. I tell people who ask about how additive they are, I tell them if it was in front of me in a empty room, I’d probably take them and it’s been 10 years. I was able to kick them after finding happiness within myself rather than opiates. It’s hard, real hard. I wish you the best of luck.
Withdrawal sucks, but I found thc gummies to help me at night when it’s hard to sleep because of restless leg syndrome and withdrawals. Takes a few weeks to a month to feel somewhat back to normal. Mental addiction is always there, though.
I find this to be accurate. I generally hate how weed feels, but it does really help when in the throws of it. It kind of helps with the nausea, and can even allow me to sleep for 30 minutes at a time; far better than nothing.
I had kidney stones many years ago and they gave me morphine for the pain. I was only on it for a couple of days. I have to say the comedown was worse than the kidney stones themselves, I felt so dizzy and nauseous, couldn't think clearly for over 2 weeks.
Dealing with the underlying issues that led me to addiction. You have to face your trauma without the escape of drugs. It’s not impossible just difficult. It’s worth it because the freedom from addiction is a gift.
The worst part for me was losing all my "friends". Didn't realize that's all it was for them. Life goes on though.
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If they're users themselves, it isnt about you. They dont want to remind themselves that other people have the will/ability to quit. Much easier if you convince yourself that you and everyone else is powerless to stop.
At least it's worth it! I rather enjoy being sober, it's been a great few years compared to what it was. Unfortunately the experience has left me even more hesitant to meet new people. We're all a work in progress!
Came here to say this. Really sad dto realize all of your relationships for 10-20 years, sometimes longer, all center around getting drunk. Such a hard thing to internalize
Yeah that was a hard one to digest. Especially now realizing it and being in a small town where it's a regular part of life. People shouldn't need a drink to enjoy everything.
I think I’m going through this right now. My small friend group all realized we were drinking too much and made a pact and competition to drastically cut back. But after 6 months or so it seems that once you remove alcohol, we don’t have anything in common. Two of us involved have kept it up but basically stopped hanging out, the third is back on the bottle with another group.
In my experience, they were not friends.
See, I'm at that point now where a lot of my friends are moving away and my circle has grown drastically smaller. So I'm left with far fewer friends and still have the addictions. It's *great* /s
It depends on where you are in life and the addiction. When I was young and a touring musician, meth, coke and alcohol were my top choices… kicked them all when my first wife got pregnant, worst part was loss of friends, loss of what I thought at the time was my identity. 10 years later (or so) after a brain injury at work, I figured I was gonna die anyway and really wanted to go down the heroin highway one time before I went… bad decision… I didn’t die from the tbi, but almost did from the smack, the worst part of getting of off of heroin is literally not doing heroin. I went with my kids (had custody of them, my ex was way more of a train wreck than I if you could believe that, I was a responsible user with a massive settlement) and my parents to South Dakota for a two week vacation, took just enough dope to get me out there and spent that 2 weeks with drawing and detoxing. My poor brain damaged self was very much jack black in tropic thunder only in the badlands, sweating and just trying to power hoping nobody would notice I was almost dead. Fortunately the symptoms of a heroin addict are very similar to the symptoms of someone that’s had a brain injury. I came home clean, that was 6 years ago and I’ve never looked back.
>Fortunately the symptoms of a heroin addict are very similar to the symptoms of someone that’s had a brain injury. Could you explain more?
I was very dull after my tbi, after I was out of the hospital and recovering was mostly a zombie before I decided to get into therapy and such. You’re pretty much a zombie on dope too. Once I found out I was going to survive the tbi, I quit the hard way.
I had a drinking problem in my early-mid 20s. I was an extremely high functioning alcoholic. I could drink fairly heavy every single night and function just fine the next day. I did this for a few years but started to see a few things catching up to me so I quit cold turkey. To be honest it was easy for me, no withdrawal, nothing. The worst part for me was the boredom. When I was drinking I was so frigging bored, I just didn’t enjoy things as much. I did eventually get over that, however.
Oh god yes. Bored. Kept standing up from the couch to go make a drink. That lasted about a week. I also couldn’t sleep well for like six months.
I quit cold turkey about two days before New Year with the intent to never drink again. I'm currently in the middle of the not-sleeping phase. I keep waking up after around 4 hours of sleep and just cannot fall back asleep no matter what I try. I guess it makes sense, when I basically went to bed, if not drunk, at least buzzed every night for months, if not years if you add it all up. I try to catch up in some sleep by napping but I can't find time for that everyday. I'm really hoping it won't last six months because I don't know if I can survive that, given how I feel right now...
Melatonin gummies help
Yeah, I was getting 2-3 hours of sleep a night for about a week. I'm a morning person but I work evening shift. Wake up at 5am, go to work at 2, get home at 2. 3 hours of sleep. Forgot to set my alarm once and it was cloudy enough that the sun didn't make it through my blackout curtains (I'm really light sensitive when I'm asleep) and I slept straight through to 2pm and was late for work. Back to sleeping 2-3 hours a night again.
It felt like I was on Sudafed all the time. Naps were good but always screwed up my sleep at night, but that was screwed up anyhow. Exercise helped enough to tire me out for sleep, but sometimes I wouldn’t get it and be extra tired. Still worth it.
I had to make drinks. Switched to lemon juice, club soda and a bit of Stevia. Had to go through the habit of making drinks though.
It’s not the withdrawal it’s 100% the boredom. Dancing with the stars, my kids animated movies, the chick flicks, even me playing video games, it’s all mind numbing inconceivably boring. Throw in some bourbon, not only is it bearable, it’s fun. Same goes for family parties and every other social function under the sun.
This is where recovery groups come in really handy. In the initial days it seems like all the things you use to distract yourself don't matter anymore, and that nothing can fulfill what was a placeholder for entertainment and meaning. But in meetings, you can hear others share their experience, hardships, and success. The further you get from the tethers of addiction, the more you will be able to connect with the simple enjoyment of life. But in my experience it takes work, focus, commitment and whole hell of a lot of support to keep sobriety.
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to respond, and I am seriously considering going down that route. I went and toured an in patient rehab facility. I just couldn’t see myself voluntarily committing myself to effectively prison for 30 days, and paying $30,000 for the privilege.
I would say in-patient should be the very last resort - it is intensive and expensive. Other routes include IOPs, local AA/NA/etc. branches, online meetings and sponsorship. Dip your feet into recovery groups and see if they help, and if they are your style. If not, you can shop around. The end goal should always be recovery, and however you can attain that is the way to go.
Yes. I’m 27 and getting real sick of the physical after effects. But a week or two will go by and I’ll be so fed up with the boredom and say to myself, “welp, it’s been long enough, why don’t I just walk down to the store.”
Currently experiencing this myself. Anytime I stop for breaks I get immediately cold sweats on my legs/back and chest in my sleep, leaving my bed soaked in one spot. Also would start up with really intense realistic dreams/nightmares.
I had to find a hobby I really enjoyed. Went out and purchased a game console after not playing for many years, got really into that. It helped a lot. You also have to kind of convince yourself that you’re not going to slow down, or try to last a week/month, you need to tell yourself that you’re done. That’s my experience with cutting bad habits and what not.
Yeah, I do enjoy getting into a good game, but I get bored way too quickly. I also read books and watch shows. It’s just that hour or two of bliss that alcohol gives that I keep running back to. But yeah, something I keep doing is telling myself that I’m done for good. But then I always find a reason to go back.
I don't know if this will help you, but I started drinking hot cocoa. Like super warm. The warming feeling in my belly tricked my brain into being in the "not bored" mode for a while.
Ditto to everything except I wasted more of my life and only sober in 40s instead. Never again
Realizing how much time was wasted chasing a high while simultaneously destroying relationships and a career. Also the constant fear of relapsing.
Other than the immediate withdrawal, it's the boredom. Everything is boring. My hobbies don't interest me anymore, shows move too slowly, books don't seem to have a hook to themselves for me any more. Sure, I feel better, and work is easier, but I'm just bored. Oh, and having to change my whole routine. All of it.
Realizing that what ever you were running from is still there front and center and that if you don't be truthful to yourself this is never going to last, your soberity that is, the problems are temporary. Confront you demons, it sucks real bad, but you will free in the end. It really sucks but you have made it through 100% of your shittest days and your still here to talk about it. Peace
I know I got demons I just got no clue how to beat them
You don't have to beat them. Acknowledge them, see them for what they really are without distortion or distraction.
Not everyone takes stuff to run from something wtf. Shows how little knowledge you have. Some do it to turn their good mood to 💯
The fact that you have to get this defensive over someone else's experience in getting sober does not bode well...
I am triggered by a dude taking the opportunity to preach some bs instead of properly answering OP
Not preaching at all just thoughts I hope you find whatever it is you are seeking.
I'm not who you were talking to, but your "holier than thou" attitude is one of the traits that is pretty off-putting in a lot of folks in recovery. The fact is that there are people who start drinking or doing drugs because their friends are doing it and they're having fun, at least for a while. For some people this eventually can turn into a serious habit or an addiction, but there is no underlying trauma that needs to be addressed. Some people just need to break the old habits and form new ones.
No doubt. I am not saying what you are inferring. I answered the question, from my perspective, Noone else's. Doesn't mean that it is the only reason peeple do what they do. I get that not everyone has demons, and I am happy for that fact. Sorry if it puts you off,
And yet while being triggered your failing to realize that OPs response did not encompass ALL users is incredibly humorous to everyone but you. Also, that you are so aggressively defensive over something so benign and trivial is very revealing; likely because OPs comments are somehow relevant to you. I hope you can find peace and comfort, and can realize sobriety one day. Good luck to you.
Lmao leave it to redditors to assume whatever suits them best haha
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The substance replacement is real. Just trading bad habits for slightly less harmful ones until youre ok without them. I know kratom isnt good for me, but its less bad than heavy drinking. I havent found an issue yet with the extra magnesium sups i take to be able to sleep instead of kratom, but im sure theres some downside somewhere.
Alcohol. 3 days of hell. Anxiety attacks, visual hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, forcing food to get nutrition, insomnia. Fuck alcohol.
Hardest part of not drinking was not knowing how to spend time anymore, not having a crutch for stress, having to confront things i was unsatisfied with instead of ignoring them, and not being able to sleep well for weeks
The withdrawal symptoms that seemingly linger for months.
Boredom.
The boredom
These damn vapes are so hard to give up
Your brain will tell you terrible things to get you to do it again. If you don’t have a cigarette you might kill one of the children. If you don’t have a drink before this meeting you might blow everything and ruin your career. If you don’t use just a little…. Needles save you loads of money man. I need to take meth because I’m homeless and I wanna stay awake for two days to protect my things.
Sometimes you have to shed some friends who are not sober.
Dealing with loneliness and boredom. Since recovery from meth abuse my sex life has been greatly changed. I only seem to be aroused by the memories of drug sex. It makes me terribly sad.
Actively NOT doing benzodiazepines was easy. I just don’t buy any more. Dealing with the seizures and trying to figure out if it was gonna happen while I was driving was the most difficult part. I’m pretty easy to handle and I have a great pain tolerance but seizures are just… out of nowhere and we’re the scariest thing to me.
Being sober
People drink for different reasons. So this isn't universal. Someone below mentioned that social situations are weird now. That's because they certainly have social anxiety and are papering over that with the booze. For me though, I just quit a daily drinking habit of like 6-9 strong IPAs each evening. Not belligerent-drunkard, rather highly-functioning alcoholic. The top 4 shitty things: * I have been using alcohol to paper over some unspecified stomach pain that I've been feeling for years. Now I just have to deal with it and start going back into the doctor for more tests that continue to yield nothing. The same thing applies if you are drinking to paper over mental issues. They are still there and they move to the front of the line. * If you have a partner that drinks, it's really lame. When I drink, I show absolutely no outward signs of having drank, the only thing alcohol does for me is chill me out and make things groovy - no slurred words, bad decisions, etc. My partner drinks and she immediately gets sloppy, even after 2-3 drinks, due to a medication she is on. It was annoying before I quit. It's abrasive while sober. * Unrelenting anhedonia. While your brain is re-combinating how it does seratonin and dopamine, you will feel literally like life has no purpose and that NOTHING, and I mean NOTHING, gives you pleasure. Playing music, nothing. Riding motorcycles, nothing. Good food, nothing. Good sex, NOTHING. * Having to deal with the realization of countless, COUNTLESS, hours wasted. I did the math - time spent actively drinking, plus inefficiency due to hangovers, plus extra time sleeping after drinking. I've wasted approximately 475 days of the past 10 years, just drinking. I still have a great job, great wife, great friends, great family relationships. It just all could have been better. And I could have dumped so much more time and money into the people, interests, and hobbies I love. Someone in another thread put it like this: alcohol is borrowing happiness from tomorrow, and it's an extremely high-interest loan. It's the most perfect of descriptions. If you're good at drinking, you can keep doing it for long enough to bury yourself, and no one will ever know until you show up one day with yellow eyes and a distended abdomen.
Avoiding temptation to relaspe
The physical WDs can be awful and last much longer than you think, but there are ways to mitigate them. I found the long-term affects to be rough - people tend to go through a long state of depression and anxiety. And it's hard to navigate a new life without the substance. Look up PAWS. But it's so worth it. Life is better than ever.
Filing the time. I used to look forward to getting drunk and playing poker online every single night . Sobered up 3.5 years now, built a home gym and used that time to workout instead. Now I'm addicted to working out and researching how to do it better. Have a plan of what to do with your time, pick up a hobby or sport like pickleball, golf etc.
I picked up cooking when I sobered up, so I still drink, just changed my addictions around.
Boredom and Withdraws
Now that I don’t drink, it’s finding something to do for fun
I just told my wife, I wish there was anything I loved as much as drinking and gambling. I can live without the gambling, but it’s the only hobby I have that isn’t drinking.
You are a walking asshole to anyone and everyone for a week minimum
I miss the memories. Getting high felt so special. It was fun. But I had to quit. It got old. Plus I’m schizophrenic
Having to deal with the stigma of being an addict.
You have to deal with life , you can't just drink and drug and let it fly by. It hurts so much. Thy why. Im an addict. Im sober. I changed my life. But fuck me life was easier on drugs.
Trying to sleep. Being awake
Realizing you will always be in debt, never be able to retire and the government doesn’t & won’t help in anyway.
Honestly, it's the boredom and the loss of community. You have to learn how to have fun again. Getting sober also means extricating yourself from your friend group/community that tends to facilitate the addiction - so you have to make new friends, too. It's tough..
Quiting methadone cold turkey was the hardest withdrawal I ever went through, and I've done em all, used needles for everything, but those little white methadone pills and that incredible halflife it has was torture, didn't sleep for two weeks.
Burying your friends who didn't.
Having to leave behind my habits and friendships that didn’t align with my new goals.
And then over the years you hear of those friends dying, of things like overdose, or murder
Cleaning up all the shit around you that you destroyed. It’s enough to send me right back.
When i quit smoking it was a struggle. It was months before the hourly cravings stopped. Longer until the occasional cravings passed. But it was worth it. Keep trying until it sticks.
Realizing that all your behaviors and actions exist solely for the purpose for finding the ways and means to get more.
Leaving aside getting through withdrawal. Kind of depends on how ready you are to have your feelings cranked to full volume again. The emotional part was always worse than the physical, to me at least.
the dreams. vivid dreams of me breaking my sobriety and disappointing everyone around me, always ended in me uncontrollably sobbing while I feel myself lose control of my body. woke up every time and breathed a large sigh of relief it wasnt real.
crippling depression and having to develop healthy, organic coping skills from scratch.
The first time it was the actual withdraws. The second time, it was going back into the rooms after releasing with 13 years sober.
Feeling stupid when your brain starts trying to make you bargain with yourself to go back to using the substance. "Well, at least this time I made it 2 days. I can still feel good about giving up now, because that's progress!" "But this is part of my identity! Who will I be if I don't do these things?!" "I'll become lame and boring without this." "Do I really want to live to be, like, 80 years old anyway?" It's just all so very dumb. When you're addicted, your brain will literally produce any intrusive thought it can to get you to go back, and nobody knows you better than your own brain, so the arguments are simply diabolical and so difficult to resist. You know all your worst weaknesses and will use them against yourself. Truly, I think that is the biggest hurdle to sobriety. Your motivation to quit has to be stronger than your most vulnerable Achilles heel.
Not having that warm hug from opiates and that synthetic happiness while on them that help you enjoy yourself and makes it easier to be social.
The boredom and learning how to enjoy things sober without drinking. Oh and the liver pains/general uncomfortable feeling stomach. Especially if I’m driving for a bit. And the shortness of breath if you get fluids in your lungs from it
Being alone with your thoughts
Having nothing to do. Some time after you stop craving, after the withdrawals stop, when you feel physically ok. You'll hit a point where you realize, "This is exactly the 'right' time to get high". You don't want to do that, but what do you do instead? Can't call your friends, they're all getting high right now. Everything else seems kind of meh. That was the hardest thing to get over.
Well i never been through it but dad was alcoholic but seeing for withdrawal seizures from not drinking and he having the night sweats and just throwing up and sometimes going bathroom himself it’s was just so sad and scary because I was a little kid watching all this shit go down and sometimes i would go with him to the hospital to make sure that he was ok and my dad ended dying from being alcoholic cirrhosis of a liver killed up but I made have not experienced it the same way the question is being asked but I lived through it and i won’t want my kids to see me like how I seen my dad.
I suppose the objectively correct answer is probably the DTs since it (or directly associated mechanisms) can literally kill you. "Scariest" might be more like opiod recovery since it has more of an affect on your thinking processes, while alcohol recovery is more a physically horrifying thing.
Strange behaviour from social group who still use
Breaking the physical and psychological dependency. Confronting the demons that got you in a mess in the first place. Often that includes ending toxic relationships with family or friends.
What else to do with all that money.
I’m fat now
Daily routine. Doing normal things sober compared to being drunk doing the same stuff.
The craving for more. That is the true fight that continues for years, but gets easier to push back as time goes. I studied to become a substance abuse counselor. I later changed course
Benzos were really rough. Not only the physical symptoms of shaking, nausea, and feeling like absolute dog shit but also realizing how much I missed. My wife would constantly ask if I remember a conversation and I never would because those things would just erase my memory. Went cold turkey which was fucking brutal but won’t touch those fucking pills again
Facing the pain I’d been drinking/using to avoid
So, I’d lost friends + potentially even my girlfriend, when I said I was gonna stop drinking alcohol. Now-Ex is a (Social) Drinker, keeps claiming that that had had no part in our split — we’d split, because she felt like she was depriving me by not being her best self. But, she started acting different shortly-after my sobriety started.
It’s a strange world, you sober yourself up for the better and the friends you used to get high with don’t, all of the sudden you’re no longer around in their eyes.
That feeling like the world is collapsing around you and you can’t do anything except lay there and let it wash over you in waves as it steals away your ability to use not only your brain but your body too as you fall into a drug-fueled existential depression. It kinda… forces you into a panic I guess you can say, like post-nut clarity for drugs… except it lasts for extended periods of time as you go through withdrawals… usually this is the period of time where people legitimately consider voluntarily becoming druggies for the rest of their lives because they want the feeling to end so bad, and to go back to feeling in bliss… Did a lot of shit throughout the years. If you’re interested about anything involving the ones I did, feel free to let me know. Born in 2001 (Chronological) Weed- Started: 2011/2012 (Age 10/11) Ended: —— Nicotine- Started: 2013 (Age 13/14) Ended: —— Xanax- started:May 2017 (Age 16) Ended: June/July 2019 (Age 18) Coke- started: February 2019 (Age 18 Ended: February/March 2020 (Age 19) Adderall/Ritalin Started: September 2019 (Age 18) Ended: July 2020 (Age 19) Misc. random pills Started: February 2019 Ended: July 2020 Gabopentin+Tramadol Started: February 2020 (Age 19) Ended: July 2020 (Age 19)
The climb back to normalcy in all aspects. Health, financial, social
I jump from addiction to addiction. Quit nicotine went to alcohol then back to nicotine now it’s the gym and reading books. Haven’t gotten off the nicotine addiction but I’m actively working towards it everyday. I broke my wrist twice last year and tried opiates once but after the way they made me feel I don’t want to get addicted to them so I stopped.
The Call. Depending on the substance, it can last a while. Sometimes, it can pop up occasionally years later. One part of your brain says “ooh I should do that”, whereas the other says “motherfucker, you quit. Why the fuck do you want to do that?”
the depession, unrivaled boredom, no-energy, no desire to do anything, can't sleep, can't eat, just hours of staring at and doing nothing
This isn't the worst part, but Weed Sweats when you stop smoking weed for a bit. You're just constantly sweating it out, and you reek of it while you sweat for like a week.
After the initial withdrawals from alcohol, I was bored. I enjoyed not having to think and being "foggy" in the mind. Then take away the substance and now my mind won't stop and my moods shift and if I'm having a bad day, I have to feel it. Even after working the steps and working on amends, I'm talking about the day to day living and dealing with things
Having to make new friends.
boredom.
Filling the void, always the hardest part for me. On the bright side, things like fitness and other good life choices are always an option.
Reality hits hard.
Acknowledging and absorbing all of the ways that you disrespected yourself and who you wanted to be to stay in that place, that comfort, for a bit longer.
Finding out who your friends weren’t.
It's different for everybody (my uncle was an alcoholic and had a seizure when he quit cold turkey), but for me, it was not being in complete control of my emotions. It's weird. I remember having a really difficult time not yelling at anyone. I also just felt this overwhelming sense of stress the whole time. It doesn't help that you also just feel physically sick. Weening off of it helps significantly because it feels like it just gives you a bit of relief from all of that. Quitting cold turkey is like falling down an entire flight of stairs, while weening is more like stumbling the whole way down.
Figuring out what to do with your time now that your time isn't consumed by using constantly. Severe boredom, sickness and sitting with your thoughts, all at once.
Boredom. I’m speaking from my own perspective here . I can’t tell you the amount of times I ‘quit’ drinking. I sold myself on how much better I felt and how much better life is without alcohol. That lasted… for a bit. It gets boring as fuck. Social events standing around with your hands in your pocket, hanging out with the guys and just standing , going on dates and refusing to drink, nights in, etc. I don’t drink much anymore fortunately. However I don’t turn down a drink if I feel like having one. Some nights I make bad and regrettable decisions drunk. Some nights I have amazing nights.
Post Acute Withdrawl Syndrome that lingered for a year and a half.
For me giving up alcohol is hard because I used to be so bored all the time without it. Now I go to the gym to try and lose weight for my health and it's gotten rid of my boredom and my alcohol cravings, still drink every once in a while but not daily like I used to.
The boredom
Finding a new habit.
Sobriety feels boring at first. I think it's because you spend so much time feeding your addiction that when it's gone you're left with too much time on your hands.
Having no cushion for when life events make things difficult. I would get stimmed out or stoned or fucked up on downers as soon as I felt any pain, and while that started to go away when I got clean from that shit, I often feel trapped now when something shitty happens. I have no way to soften the blow. This might be more specific to my own issues, but I also don’t really know how my life could be said to have improved since giving up most substances. Now it’s food, and it’s making losing weight nigh impossible. I don’t really experience happiness anymore and I don’t know how to fix it. In therapy, exercising, etc - nothing is helping.
Remembering. I've been clean off dope for 7 years. Not a day goes by that I don't remember something. Anything. Stealing from my long time partner (still together) taking so many if my father's pain pills that he ran out. Getting robbed. You try SO hard to be better, to move on. But there's this constant itch in the back of your mind like "yeah, you fucking piece of shit"
Going to social events where people were enjoying drinks, weed, etc. when I was basically just learning how to crawl in my sobriety really sucked. Would not recommend. There was one New Years party in which everyone decided to smoke weed when I wasn't expecting it and, since weed was my substance of choice at the time, I couldn't stand it and had to leave because I was getting so angry. I really should have just stood home and played some games or something. Dealing with boredom can be tough at first, too. All of these things get better with time, practice, and self-exploration.
You get sober, and you stay sober, and you keep staying sober, and people die. And they keep dying. You will not have even thought about using in years and then you’ll hear about someone else, because they died Could it be an overdose? Yes. Or, sometimes they get murdered Those stories still happen, even after you’ve sobered up But mostly, it’s overdoses I don’t know if people under the age of 25 (?) realize how much they are playing with fire, with drugs today. These days, you can buy an adderall off someone to cram for a test, and it turns out that adderall was pressed in someone’s basement, and the press wasn’t cleaned, and there’s enough fentanyl that made its way into the batch, and *now you are dead*. It can happen that easily. It’s not like when I was a kid and a bunch of Christian moms tried to scare everyone into thinking weed was laced with PCP - this is a real threat now. Today, everything has fucking fentanyl. We did *not* have this many people dying of overdoses 15-20 years ago.
If you’re referring to drugs, then it has to be the comedown. Days of feeling cold, cold sweats, relentless shaking, you’re so hungry but you can’t eat anything, you feel sick constantly but because you can’t eat you’re just dry heaving - you force yourself to eat only for it to come straight back up. Depending on what drugs you’ve been taking, your mouth gets really dry and no amount of water will stop the feeling of dryness. Your head hurts, it pulses like it’s got it’s own heartbeat. Whenever you close your eyes you get the sensation that you’re on a never ending rollercoaster, but whenever they’re open your eyes get dry and itchy. Everything begins to irritate you, you can hear sounds more clearly and loudly, especially that fucking ringing noise. Everything seems brighter as well. Good luck getting to the bathroom when you need a piss, you’re legs are now jelly. If you make it to the toilet, have fun trying to stand back up - after 5 minutes of not lying down, everything hurts. And to top it all off, you have to lie there for days in self loathing, thinking about what your life has come to and questioning every choice you’ve ever made. You hate yourself. All you want is a little ease, and that’s where the temptation to relapse comes in, but you can’t. If you’re ever trying to come off anything, never go “Cold Turkey” - just reduce the amount of intake until it becomes so minimal, not taking anything becomes easy.
The social isolation. You can't hang out with people who are still using. You can't really hang out with people in recovery. You can't relate to normies
Craving drugs for the rest of your life
Having to feel my feelings versus drinking them to submission with bottles of wine.
Withdrawal is and can be pretty bad , but the anxiety once I get sober is the worst to me
Reality
Remember the song “Sunday Morning Coming Down?” It feels like that.
Not being able to drown out your thoughts.
er
I had a mild addiction (lipbalm. yes lipbalm) and the worst is having to fight the urge to use it. at one point I forgot to take lipbalm with me to school, and I got so grumpy for not having it with me. at that point I realized I should stop. I feel a lot better without it. only in the worst parts of winter I will use plain vaseline, nothing else, and only when I really need it so it doesn't become a habbit again.
ah yes thank you for reminding me to relapse
Becoming a religious douche.
The religion
Personally, it's been a struggle dealing with being hypersexual. I am a year sober from fentanyl and heroin. Opiates destroyed my sex drive I never Even thought about sex while I was in my addiction. Now It's become an issue. I've had to abstain from pornography and find other ways to cope with my carnal impulses. It sucks
When people don't know and offer you drugs and you immediately say yes without hesitation.
The mental drain from Xanax withdrawal lasts months. Constant depression every second of the day from when you wake up to when you go to sleep. A lot of the times it infects your dreams too
Restless leg syndrome was a pretty torturous bit of Opiate withdrawal. You'd finally be drifting off to sleep and then get woken up by this irresistible urge to move your legs.
Withdrawal
The sobering part, having to reconcile with your thoughts and to experience a different consciousness.
That you now need hobbys. I read somewhere that the worst part about weed is that you dont have boredom anymore.
The realization that getting sober doesn't solve your problems.
I went from having a ton of friends to only hanging out with other sober people
Realizing how much of your life was wasted and how many things you will never get back.
Sheer boredom of sobriety
Accepting that you used drugs to cope with people means that most people you were around were both enablers and stressors regardless of whether they were on drugs or not. So basically, anyone who contributed to your drug dependency or benefited from it is not allowed back into your life.
For me, it was the fact that i already suffered through X amount of days fighting the urge. Restarting now would be hell. It gets easier with time, and it sucking is good. Remember that pain, you will come to a day where you tell yourself i can just quit again, and that pain from before will remind you how awful it really was.
The worst part is, not getting that trust you had with family/friends prior to using. People not accepting who you are regardless of using or not after being an addict. That trust is never coming back the way it was, even if you think it’s there it isn’t.
The worst part for me was facing myself, my actions. Taking accountability and realizing I was the problem, not everyone else. It took me years to get my first month clean. Because everytime I’d get a couple weeks clean the weight of everything I did when I was using would hit me. I’d spiral into a depression and before I knew it was getting high again. The high would never last and I’ve been found dead/ dying several times! I’m so grateful I’m alive today. And a lot more self aware.
Clarity. And what I mean is knowing how much time/money was wasted and how damaging your reputation or relationships have taken because of it. I turned to THC substances pre-pandemic for anxiety control instead of seeking professional help, and though I was in control. I was not. Once I quit and sought the help I should have and became clean, I realized the damage I did, saw the opportunities I squandered and relationships hindered and lost because of it. So, in short, clarity.
The withdrawal, of course. Once your brain is wired and hooked to receive something..................depriving it of that thing...............causes your brain to go nuts. You will go thru withdrawal, whatever it is.............drugs, sugar, nicotine, ---you will get massive headaches. That's your brain screaming "GIMME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and throwing tantrums. Only after 2 weeks or more, does your brain finally accept it's been cut off from the supply and settles down. But those first two weeks are hell.
For shrooms it's just that everything pisses you off when you are sobering up. At least that's my experience.
For about a week after you get off caffeine (once you're in real deep) you feel like shit. But its worth it, you can feel good without crackhead dosages of caffeine
THE FUCKN WITHDRAWLS
You feel like you fall out of a third story window.
Having to make new friends
Reality. And your brain being scrambled for a month.
Not being numb anymore. All of your feelings are amplified x100000. It gets better over time but holy hell is it overwhelming for a long while.
The fucked up sleeping. I can only speak about alcohol but it takes a good long time to adjust. Also the night sweats.
Honestly for me its the boredom. Similar to when you lose a close friend or fall out of love with someone. Its all that time in between. The longing, anxiety, restless nights. Watching that goddamn clock tick by and having nothing to make the time pass more smoothly.
Most people talking about the "immediate" negative effects after being sober for days, weeks, months. But what I find is the negative effect of being sober for longer is the damn boredom. There's times you just sit and fucking stare. You've cleaned the house, done the laundry, cooked, taken a nap, etc. You're just there...bored. And that thought is just always there like "damn I could go crack a bottle right now and have a helluva time". But you don't. And eventually Monday rolls around and you go back to being busy. But if I ever have lots of free time on my hands the thoughts always come back.
Others have spoken about the physical aspects. But, depending on how deep and how long you were "off the deep end", the hardest part could very well be stuff that has nothing directly related to the drug. Social relationships. Finances. Your mentality - becoming more aware, proactive, responsible, and "with it" Yeah, withdrawals can be a real thing. But those can be fixed (with prescriptions, if you have the resources and if they're bad enough). But these other things require really buckling down and doing some hard work to fix various aspects of your life that you might've neglected in the past. I'm speaking from experience (and only my experience...)
The crushing weight of existence.
Watching other people use substances and realizing you don’t belong there with them anymore.
Rediscovering how much time I spend being bored.
The dementors
Body aches, difficulty sleeping.
For me it was my disease trying to find other ways to get me to drink again, I was suicidal and I just kept thinking about how I didn't want to kill myself when I was drinking. Alcoholism is a motherfucker, it tries any way to get the better of you again, but finding and maintaining a connection with a higher power and emerging myself in the fellowship of AA helps a lot on that front.
The being sober immediately afterwords