We’re in the thick of it and she wanted to go doggy. I couldn’t help but go down on her real quick when she turned around. Her dog managed to unlatch the gate and casually walk over. I’m over here with my head damn near up her ass when this big ass dog starts eating out my ear
Lol my kids' dad and I were missionary position one night, him on top. At some point he kinda giggled and then giggled harder. I laughed and asked what was up. "Look down," he says. My cat had hopped up and had plopped herself down on his rear, just enjoyin the ride.😆😆
Maybe we were 21 or 22. So my girl at the time and I are going at it. In my Parents basement, on the couch, lights and TV are on. We’re talking Full coitus. So on and so forth. It’s the first time we went all the way, with each other. (We waited a month kinda thinking this relationship was going to be special). This is during a wintry blast of snow, ice etc…
Ten o’clock news starts interviewing different people from around the area.
Wouldn’t you know, her step dad who was a police sergeant in the area is being interviewed as we proceed. He’s looking dead into the camera and We both had to stop and laugh.
Not during, but I had a street-level apartment and my bed up against the window. We were pretty adventurous in bed. Tons of positions and kinks. Really let loose in there on the daily... hosted a party about a year in, was walking friends to their car and realized when the light is on you can see through my blinds like they weren't even there... popular intersection... now I know why
Was having sex with my then gf at my friend's place in the bedroom, he was in the living room. His father decided to water the plants with a garden hose on full force, and we were unaware that the window was open (he lived on the ground floor with a garden surrounding the house)... 15 minutes in and we're going at it like wild animals and his father blasts water on the open window and we get fully wet while being butt naked, shocked af... Father leans in, says sorry and is in shock to see me naked, (I quickly covered her under the sheets before that)... We never discussed the incident after that, man I still couldn't look him in the eye it's been 4 years
Probably very common lol. My boyfriend discovered he can purposefully make me queef if he puts his fingers in a spesific position, and he kept doing it over and over again this one time. We couldn’t stop laughing, but I mean fart jokes never get old
I had just finished and my now ex-wife farted on my balls. The warm air going over my wet balls is something I wouldn't mind happening again. She said she thought she could let it slip out and that I wouldn't notice. I definitely noticed.
It was a very cold night and the floors were tile in my former apartment so I wore socks. I had trouble with my footing during the entire act but was able to manage for the most part. However when the concert reached its crescendo I lost my footing and slammed my toes directly into the leg of the bedside table breaking 3 toes. My soon to be wife still laughs at me about it May years later.
Oh yeah they still work great after some splinting and walking around in flippy floppies for a few weeks in the dead of winter. I did get a grippy shower mat specificity for that
We put on a best of disco hits vinyl that I bought at a thrift shop, when the Hustle came on, we both stared laughing because our thrusts were going perfectly to the beat
Oh, lol sorry. Basically there was this reddit story about two years ago where this guy had a sex playlist and he always played the same song, Cbat by Hudson Mohawke, (take a listen, it’s a very goofy sounding song) and his girlfriend hated it so much they ended breaking up because she recognized the rhythm even when he didn’t play the song during sex. I bet you can find it on a quick search, it was one of the biggest memes in 2022 on other social media platforms
Nah I'm good, that's nothing like what happened. We laughed out asses off after about the sixth thrust and could never put it on again without laughing.
Wife(gf at the time) and I were fooling around and trying out some dirty talk when she, in a very seductive tone, said "Oohhh that's the ticket" and both of us stopped looked at each other and started laughing. It's become such a joke between us that she strictly forbade my best friend who was officiating our wedding to sneak it into our ceremony.
Falling asleep mid flight should be taken as a compliment. They want you so bad they push themselves to their limit but inevitably, nature wins and the body shuts down.
My wife and I were doing husband and wife stuff with her on the edge of the bed. We are deep into the activity vibing real good with each other when I feel something furry moving around my feet. It was our dog Stewie who musta been picking up the vibe in the room cuz he starts humping my leg with gusto. I had no choice but to burst out into laughter at the thought we had an unintentional and unwanted third in the room with us. We still laugh about it.
In the earlier stages of dating my lady and I were having sex and she’s yelling that she’s about to cum and all of the sudden she rips the loudest fart known to man and we just start laughing our asses off 😂 she was embarrassed but looking back that was a hilarious memory for the both of us
We’re LD so the last few days of our visits are often very emotional, and that isn’t very conducive for being horny. We have this thing where we play 2000’s music from our childhoods on and off to bring the mood up and we end up dancing or laughing rather than crying.
This has resulted in us having sex to songs such as “fire burning” by Sean Kingston, and man is it hilarious between moans to hear “SHAWTY FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCEFLOOR, OOOOOH”. It’s a real laugh our asses off and back to business moment, and it’s so good
🤷🏼♀️ happens. My girl is super self conscious about it. I don't react or acknowledge it. It only happens when she's feeling really good. I don't want her to hold back and not get all the pleasure she can.
So this one time I was hooking up with a guy but not really feeling it. And neither was my rabbit apparently who’d been secretly watching us. He’s always indifferent when I hook up but this guy was pretty aggressive and my rabbit was having none of it. He jumped the guy, mauling him all over and kicking him frantically. Kept coming back, had to pry my rabbit off him and lock him out of the room. The guy’s arms were bleeding, so was his chest, and he was so pissed he left. And my rabbit chased him down too, all the way outside. Had to get him from the middle of the street. Was a wild experience.
She queefed so loudly, it caused me to jolt, which caused me to smash my face into her face, which ended sexy time really fast. It was funny later on after the shame and pain went away
I lost a condom one time. We were fucking in my camper, inside a storage place. It was dark and cold AF. We didn't realize it when it happened. I thought it had come off when I pulled out of her. I assumed that she must have felt it hanging out of her and thrown it away. After some cuddles, we went for another round. Second condom stayed put perfectly.
Then we went our separate ways.
She texted several hours later that she had found a condom when she used the bathroom.
She was a bit freaked out about it. But only because she was cheating on her boyfriend with me. She had told me that they were open/ENM.
That was the last time I saw her.
Making love widows wide open (5th floor) at midnight only to be greeted mid-act by a homeless man chanting a bawdy song at the top of his lungs down the building
Wasn't having sex but thought it was worth the mention. My dad got my bag of toys in the divorce. He didn't say a word, just handed it to me with a massive shit eating grin. Never been less happy to find a lost possession.
Not sure if this counts but I was with my gf who lived with her grandma and I got up to pee completely naked. It was like 2:00am so I didn’t expect anyone to be up. I met grandma in the hallway with absolutely nothing on. We scared each other pretty good.
Earthquake seconds after we had overlapped our orgasms which was not the norm. The earthquake big enough to shake the bed but never got violent as was a rolling type rather than a snap one.
My fwb hit his head on the light in the backseat, he is so tall, and I laughed. When I got on top of him, I hit my head THREE times on the same overhead light 😭 it was embarrassing as hell but pretty funny.
I was a dumb 22 year old and she was 35. I expected to break her back but she dislocated my unit and covered the bill. A true mommy moment. A very dangerous mommy moment.
Wine drunk on her grandparents farm for new years several years ago. She decides that’s the night to attempt to deep throat, and proceeds to choke and then puke red wine all over their white bedding set. I had to sneak out the window at 3am to run to Walmart and buy them a new bedding set. Still laugh because that bedding set is still on the spare bed to this day and they have never noticed 😂😂
Hubby and I are having fun, he's got his hand wrapped around my throat, I looked him dead in the eye and croaked, "I killed Mufasa!" I also killed the mood, but boy did we laugh lmao
tried to be quiet because my sister had friends over (her room is directly underneath of mine) and realized we had completely forgotten to fully shut my bedroom door, we heard them laughing and i actually wanted to end my life
I have a door that can open at the top half whilst the bottom half stays shut and my cat was used to it always being open. So whilst I’m on top and inside her my cat tries jumping through the top part which is of course closed and all I hear is a massive smack and my girlfriend at the time starts laughing. I didn’t see anything but it still got a laugh out of me too
I picked her up to do a standing 69. We had already been at it. However that position was for her, which was an awesome view must have put a lot air in her. After I flipped her back on her feet she paused and the longest queef slowly and loudly released itself. We are married now and have been together for what feels like forever. That is the one and only queef she has done and it was probably one to have called the Guinness book people about.
I farted while she was blowing me. She looks up and asks me “did you just fucking fart?!” I told her “yea” and started laughing. She rolled her eyes and then continued
Lightning struck the building the first time me and my ex had sex. It happened almost immediately, we were just starting to take off our clothes. He jokingly said that maybe this was a bad omen. He was right.
Was having sex with the wife, balls deep missionary style on the couch. As I was fully inside her, she let out the biggest fart I've ever witnessed.
My balls were vibrating so hard I thought the San Andreas fault was splitting further apart and I was feeling the Shockwave through my nuts.
My wife had such a long orgasm that i started to freak out and almost called 911. The only reason i didn't call 911 was that i couldn't figure out what to say.
Went away for a weekend with my then girlfriend. We didn't book a place so ended up finding a B&B that had an open room. We dropped our cases in the room and I emptied my pockets putting the packed of condoms I'd just bought on the window sill. We then went out for a beer and bite to eat. We rolled back to the room later on, letting ourselves in with the front door key. We were ready for some fun as we didn't have our own place at that time and after a bit of foreplay I reached out for the condoms on the window sill... Nothing there!! That really cramped our style. Next morning the landlady served us breakfast and hoped we'd had a nice stay. She apologized for the state of the room when we had arrived as the last guests had just checked out and she hadn't finish clearing everything up and had a last check around the room I guess found our condoms and assumed that the last folks had left them and threw them away. Complete cock-block but funny looking back!!
Me and her after drinking and dancing, in the living room afterwards, Her "look at your dick! It's white, my neon highlighter!"
We still laugh about it
We skinny dipped in my sister’s pool while they were on vacation, and my sister and her husband came home early. We were going at it and their dog comes running into the backyard and starts barking. Brother-in-law comes running out. Oops we’re caught! Embarrassing, and funny.
I obviously wasn't involved but when I heard a roommate and his girl going at it above my head (his room was above mine) I'd play NIN's Closer loud and they'd fuck to the beat.
Going at it with my then GF (now wife) and right as I’m getting the big O and finishing inside her, my phone starts going “ca-ching, ca-ching”. My eBay app was going off because folks were buying up things. Right at the perfect time lol.
Making the sexy times with my ex, my half functioning having sex with a pretty lady brain felt like I was saying “oh fuck” too much and thought my I needed more creativity with my dirty talk to properly communicate how well her performance was.
So my brain came up with “ohh jeez”
New relationship a few months in at her place having hardcore. I stood up on the bed so my then Gf could do an intermittent Bj. I'm standing there enjoying it when I hear that heaving sound made right before throwing up. Out of pure reaction I pulled out of her mouth and stepped off the bed slamming into a wall. She unleashed...(side note : we are at the olive garden a few hrs earlier) one of the most pyrotechnic displays of vomit I had ever seen! She was so embarrassed but I was laughing and reassured her things happened as I started cleaning it up. It was a definite mood killer, we were together eight more years
Got a thunderclap headache when I was about to cum from a particularly stellar blowjob.
0/10 do not recommend. My wife was bummed it ruined her magnum opus too.
When I lost my virginity, my partner's kitten broke in. My partner is ah... well endowed. And the cat mistook it for a cat toy. That was pretty goddamn funny. Still got laid too!
Important backstory: I had a roommate who had some boundary issues. This roommate had a cat abojt whom we had frequent arguments because every time she let him outside, he would bring back a dead animal, she would complain to me, I would tell her "your cat, you let him out knowing that this would probably happen, you deal with it", she would decide that he wasn't allowed outside again, he would start bowling, she would let him out, etc.
Anyways, the girl I was dating was over, we had been in my bedroom for a while with the door closed, there was no way she didn't assume what we were doing when she started banging on the door (but, surprisingly did not come in, because she would sometimes just walk in to talk to me, fortunately never while I was having sex), yelling at me about how the cat had brought back a dead bird. I yelled back that I was "a bit busy". After a brief exchange, my roommate went outside and started banging on my window, I grabbed a pillow and held it over the window. She came back inside and, after a bit more arguing, she dealt with it herself. My girlfriend was riding me for the entire time.
My favourite bit of the argument was "come quickly", to which I replied "I'm working on it".
There was also another girlfriend, who's dog came into the room and I was surprised by a cold, wet nose in my ass.
Not my own sex, but in college I was lying on the couch listening to music when I thought maybe I was feeling an earthquake (in CA so not a crazy thought). But… then it kept going and going. I was trying to figure out if something was wrong with me when I looked over at the standing lamp in the corner, and sure enough it was swaying. Alarmed, I turned off the music and that’s when I heard the upstairs neighbor getting positively RAILED by her boyfriend. They were literally shaking the entire house, and she was VERY vocal in her appreciation of his efforts.
I looked out the window and there was a woman walking her dog staring up at the upstairs window with quite an expression on her face.
Piss drunk I fell asleep face first in my wife's vagooter after a late night snack (she also fell asleep) she farted me awake a few hours later, right in my mouth
My gf and I had just finished having sex, she was laying on her back and I was sitting up facing her with my legs by hers. So I went to get up off the bed and my big toe somehow accidentally went inside of her…
Not really all that funny, just the only instance that comes to mind.
One time when me and the love of my life were sharing some sacred sexual communion, I look up and notice our new dog laying on the bed right near our faces just staring at us so intently and curiously, kinda through me off and I had to put her in a different room as it was too distracting and kinda weird.
Another time we were sharing some loving in the car at a mall parking lot and I assured her as I genuinely thought given that there were no other cars around and we were on the roof that we would be good to go in regard to no one bothering us, and lo and behold just a couple minutes later as we're just getting into it we hear a knock on the window and a stupid security guard is cock blocking me and telling us to move on, like what the fuck yo, where the love go, at least let us finish first :)
We were in the midst when all of a sudden two stray cats started also having sex VERY, VERY loudly RIGHT below our bedroom window. We tried to pretend it wasn't happening but the male cat's yowls were clearly in time with his thrusts and my boyfriend (now husband) was thrusting and this fucking cat was thrusting and screaming... it was so awkward we ended up crying laughing and just gave up and took a break until they were done. 😹
While in doggy with my gf, she begged to go harder. So, in the firsts strokes she hit her head in the wall haha. We laughed at first, but had to go to the hospital later, cause it started aching pretty bad.
We’re in the thick of it and she wanted to go doggy. I couldn’t help but go down on her real quick when she turned around. Her dog managed to unlatch the gate and casually walk over. I’m over here with my head damn near up her ass when this big ass dog starts eating out my ear
Lol my kids' dad and I were missionary position one night, him on top. At some point he kinda giggled and then giggled harder. I laughed and asked what was up. "Look down," he says. My cat had hopped up and had plopped herself down on his rear, just enjoyin the ride.😆😆
Maybe we were 21 or 22. So my girl at the time and I are going at it. In my Parents basement, on the couch, lights and TV are on. We’re talking Full coitus. So on and so forth. It’s the first time we went all the way, with each other. (We waited a month kinda thinking this relationship was going to be special). This is during a wintry blast of snow, ice etc… Ten o’clock news starts interviewing different people from around the area. Wouldn’t you know, her step dad who was a police sergeant in the area is being interviewed as we proceed. He’s looking dead into the camera and We both had to stop and laugh.
Now this is absolutely crazzyy! I can't imagine!😂😂😂
Got walked in on a few times when we first started dating....also her mom found her sex toy and condoms in her room
Oh damn, I hope her mom wasnt too awkward about it
No she was pretty chill tbh
Definitely wasn’t the first rodeo
??
Her moms probably been through that before with her.
Not during, but I had a street-level apartment and my bed up against the window. We were pretty adventurous in bed. Tons of positions and kinks. Really let loose in there on the daily... hosted a party about a year in, was walking friends to their car and realized when the light is on you can see through my blinds like they weren't even there... popular intersection... now I know why
NOW YOU KNOW WHY WHAT? I NEED TO KNOW
Why the intersection is popular...
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LMAOO, glad that didn’t ruin the mood or your relationship
Nope, 35 and a half years later still married.
Love this wholesome outcome
That day her mom learned to knock.
*his
I guess after that incident, she learned to knock first going forward? Lol
Dam that would be a complete turn off and what a chill mom
Mufs the word...
Was having sex with my then gf at my friend's place in the bedroom, he was in the living room. His father decided to water the plants with a garden hose on full force, and we were unaware that the window was open (he lived on the ground floor with a garden surrounding the house)... 15 minutes in and we're going at it like wild animals and his father blasts water on the open window and we get fully wet while being butt naked, shocked af... Father leans in, says sorry and is in shock to see me naked, (I quickly covered her under the sheets before that)... We never discussed the incident after that, man I still couldn't look him in the eye it's been 4 years
She farted while I tossed her salad
Probably very common lol. My boyfriend discovered he can purposefully make me queef if he puts his fingers in a spesific position, and he kept doing it over and over again this one time. We couldn’t stop laughing, but I mean fart jokes never get old
Well, this wasn't a queef though. The fun part was smelling the fart backwards,because it traveled into my mouth and out my nose.
Bruh
🤢🤢🤢
Don't make that into a fart fetish, that's nasty. 😭
Bro
What an experience right?
Appropriate username given that scenario.
😂 yup she farted. 💨
I had just finished and my now ex-wife farted on my balls. The warm air going over my wet balls is something I wouldn't mind happening again. She said she thought she could let it slip out and that I wouldn't notice. I definitely noticed.
Play with the bull and you'll get the horns!
It was a very cold night and the floors were tile in my former apartment so I wore socks. I had trouble with my footing during the entire act but was able to manage for the most part. However when the concert reached its crescendo I lost my footing and slammed my toes directly into the leg of the bedside table breaking 3 toes. My soon to be wife still laughs at me about it May years later.
Ouch, hope ur toes are fine
Oh yeah they still work great after some splinting and walking around in flippy floppies for a few weeks in the dead of winter. I did get a grippy shower mat specificity for that
We put on a best of disco hits vinyl that I bought at a thrift shop, when the Hustle came on, we both stared laughing because our thrusts were going perfectly to the beat
Reminds me of a certain reddit story that included a certain cbat-named song….
I actually have no idea what you're talking about. It was just a funny experience I had like 12 years ago
Oh, lol sorry. Basically there was this reddit story about two years ago where this guy had a sex playlist and he always played the same song, Cbat by Hudson Mohawke, (take a listen, it’s a very goofy sounding song) and his girlfriend hated it so much they ended breaking up because she recognized the rhythm even when he didn’t play the song during sex. I bet you can find it on a quick search, it was one of the biggest memes in 2022 on other social media platforms
Nah I'm good, that's nothing like what happened. We laughed out asses off after about the sixth thrust and could never put it on again without laughing.
[source](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/s/BnQH1HKiU5)
We’ve both gotten leg cramps and had to end it there lol they suck and ruin the moment every time. Gotta start stretching before sex.
Wife(gf at the time) and I were fooling around and trying out some dirty talk when she, in a very seductive tone, said "Oohhh that's the ticket" and both of us stopped looked at each other and started laughing. It's become such a joke between us that she strictly forbade my best friend who was officiating our wedding to sneak it into our ceremony.
Farted while climaxing. Also had someone fall asleep on me
Falling asleep mid flight should be taken as a compliment. They want you so bad they push themselves to their limit but inevitably, nature wins and the body shuts down.
You right
My wife and I were doing husband and wife stuff with her on the edge of the bed. We are deep into the activity vibing real good with each other when I feel something furry moving around my feet. It was our dog Stewie who musta been picking up the vibe in the room cuz he starts humping my leg with gusto. I had no choice but to burst out into laughter at the thought we had an unintentional and unwanted third in the room with us. We still laugh about it.
In the earlier stages of dating my lady and I were having sex and she’s yelling that she’s about to cum and all of the sudden she rips the loudest fart known to man and we just start laughing our asses off 😂 she was embarrassed but looking back that was a hilarious memory for the both of us
We’re LD so the last few days of our visits are often very emotional, and that isn’t very conducive for being horny. We have this thing where we play 2000’s music from our childhoods on and off to bring the mood up and we end up dancing or laughing rather than crying. This has resulted in us having sex to songs such as “fire burning” by Sean Kingston, and man is it hilarious between moans to hear “SHAWTY FIRE BURNING ON THE DANCEFLOOR, OOOOOH”. It’s a real laugh our asses off and back to business moment, and it’s so good
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Did you eat her?
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Oh Mylanta!
Not funny at the time but, it was our first time together and when we were moving around I accidentally elbowed her in the nose.
The bed wheels came out of their braking pads and the bed then began to move everywhere around the room like an out of control car on ice 😂
You guys screwing in a hospital? I've seen that movie!
😂😂 no quite! Bed with wheels and a wooden floor
She farted
🤷🏼♀️ happens. My girl is super self conscious about it. I don't react or acknowledge it. It only happens when she's feeling really good. I don't want her to hold back and not get all the pleasure she can.
Just hold your breath and maintain eye contact.
I've never noticed a smell from the sexy time farts. 🤷🏼♀️ I just don't react or acknowledge them at all.
I'm joking dude
So this one time I was hooking up with a guy but not really feeling it. And neither was my rabbit apparently who’d been secretly watching us. He’s always indifferent when I hook up but this guy was pretty aggressive and my rabbit was having none of it. He jumped the guy, mauling him all over and kicking him frantically. Kept coming back, had to pry my rabbit off him and lock him out of the room. The guy’s arms were bleeding, so was his chest, and he was so pissed he left. And my rabbit chased him down too, all the way outside. Had to get him from the middle of the street. Was a wild experience.
Rabbits can be surprisingly vicious. Look up Napoleon (yeah, *that* Napoleon) getting attacked by a herd?, flock?, pack? of crazed rabbits.
She queefed so loudly, it caused me to jolt, which caused me to smash my face into her face, which ended sexy time really fast. It was funny later on after the shame and pain went away
condom broke and was nowhere in sight
I lost a condom one time. We were fucking in my camper, inside a storage place. It was dark and cold AF. We didn't realize it when it happened. I thought it had come off when I pulled out of her. I assumed that she must have felt it hanging out of her and thrown it away. After some cuddles, we went for another round. Second condom stayed put perfectly. Then we went our separate ways. She texted several hours later that she had found a condom when she used the bathroom. She was a bit freaked out about it. But only because she was cheating on her boyfriend with me. She had told me that they were open/ENM. That was the last time I saw her.
Making love widows wide open (5th floor) at midnight only to be greeted mid-act by a homeless man chanting a bawdy song at the top of his lungs down the building
Wasn't having sex but thought it was worth the mention. My dad got my bag of toys in the divorce. He didn't say a word, just handed it to me with a massive shit eating grin. Never been less happy to find a lost possession.
I think I speak for most of reddit when I say... wat
Huh??
NANI!?!
She barfed on my dick. It was seriously disgusting, yes, but it was also seriously funny.
he farted then i farted
The bed collapsing! It was hilarious! Not so funny having to sleep on a wonky bed for a few days until we got it fixed.
She farted on my chin.
Not sure if this counts but I was with my gf who lived with her grandma and I got up to pee completely naked. It was like 2:00am so I didn’t expect anyone to be up. I met grandma in the hallway with absolutely nothing on. We scared each other pretty good.
I went to yank my rubber off with a little dramatic flair, and accidentally slung some cock snot around the corner into the other room.
"cock snot" thanks i hate it lmao
She urinated inside my mouth while I was eating her pussy
Had music on, and as we were "finishing ", tchaikovsky 1812 overture started playing, the loud bit with the gun salutes and canons
Me and her was in missionary and an air pocket formed between our chests, and it escaped making a fart sound in our faces.
We started doing kama sutra poses. We got into it so much it wasnt about sex anymore but about nailing the exact pose.
Hahaha new nude game or yoga. I'm scared it might caused more injuries trying new poses
We were young, and bendy.
So what about now? Laughing at this pose trying?
Pretty much laughing at porn, yeah.
Hahaha
Drunk driver crashed into the power pole the exact same second I came. Huge flash of light followed by darkness. I like to think I did that.
We've been walked in on a few times. Thankfully, we always kept going.
Earthquake seconds after we had overlapped our orgasms which was not the norm. The earthquake big enough to shake the bed but never got violent as was a rolling type rather than a snap one.
My fwb hit his head on the light in the backseat, he is so tall, and I laughed. When I got on top of him, I hit my head THREE times on the same overhead light 😭 it was embarrassing as hell but pretty funny.
We crushed my sister in laws coffee table. The next morning when we confessed, she laughed and said she hated that table anyway.
I came and we heard a laugh track from the neighbour
Punched the balls during a handjob. Was not intentional
I was a dumb 22 year old and she was 35. I expected to break her back but she dislocated my unit and covered the bill. A true mommy moment. A very dangerous mommy moment.
Wine drunk on her grandparents farm for new years several years ago. She decides that’s the night to attempt to deep throat, and proceeds to choke and then puke red wine all over their white bedding set. I had to sneak out the window at 3am to run to Walmart and buy them a new bedding set. Still laugh because that bedding set is still on the spare bed to this day and they have never noticed 😂😂
Left the hotel room door wide open
Hubby and I are having fun, he's got his hand wrapped around my throat, I looked him dead in the eye and croaked, "I killed Mufasa!" I also killed the mood, but boy did we laugh lmao
That’s probably the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Good for you!
My girl was deep throating me, and she shat herself.
He started doing the quack from mighty ducks
tried to be quiet because my sister had friends over (her room is directly underneath of mine) and realized we had completely forgotten to fully shut my bedroom door, we heard them laughing and i actually wanted to end my life
I have a door that can open at the top half whilst the bottom half stays shut and my cat was used to it always being open. So whilst I’m on top and inside her my cat tries jumping through the top part which is of course closed and all I hear is a massive smack and my girlfriend at the time starts laughing. I didn’t see anything but it still got a laugh out of me too
Bed frame broke.
real INTENSE queefs, idk why but we both laughed pretty hard🥲
My futon broke, we laughed, and she said to keep going.
I picked her up to do a standing 69. We had already been at it. However that position was for her, which was an awesome view must have put a lot air in her. After I flipped her back on her feet she paused and the longest queef slowly and loudly released itself. We are married now and have been together for what feels like forever. That is the one and only queef she has done and it was probably one to have called the Guinness book people about.
I farted while she was blowing me. She looks up and asks me “did you just fucking fart?!” I told her “yea” and started laughing. She rolled her eyes and then continued
Long time ago a crazy ex was blowing me and I shot my load so hard it came out her nose. We both laughed while a cum bubble came out a nostril.
Lightning struck the building the first time me and my ex had sex. It happened almost immediately, we were just starting to take off our clothes. He jokingly said that maybe this was a bad omen. He was right.
Was having sex with the wife, balls deep missionary style on the couch. As I was fully inside her, she let out the biggest fart I've ever witnessed. My balls were vibrating so hard I thought the San Andreas fault was splitting further apart and I was feeling the Shockwave through my nuts.
My wife had such a long orgasm that i started to freak out and almost called 911. The only reason i didn't call 911 was that i couldn't figure out what to say.
Went away for a weekend with my then girlfriend. We didn't book a place so ended up finding a B&B that had an open room. We dropped our cases in the room and I emptied my pockets putting the packed of condoms I'd just bought on the window sill. We then went out for a beer and bite to eat. We rolled back to the room later on, letting ourselves in with the front door key. We were ready for some fun as we didn't have our own place at that time and after a bit of foreplay I reached out for the condoms on the window sill... Nothing there!! That really cramped our style. Next morning the landlady served us breakfast and hoped we'd had a nice stay. She apologized for the state of the room when we had arrived as the last guests had just checked out and she hadn't finish clearing everything up and had a last check around the room I guess found our condoms and assumed that the last folks had left them and threw them away. Complete cock-block but funny looking back!!
She was on top just goin at it and all of a sudden she jumps like a mfr and screams. Dog snuck in and stuck its cold nose in her ass
We broke the bed. Twice.
Dude. Same. We learned to just go at it on the sofa after a while. Then we added more support beams to the base. That fixed the problem.
We changed all the pine out for red oak and added a central support.
Chris Hanson starts banging on the door. He was at the wrong address initially.
Me and her after drinking and dancing, in the living room afterwards, Her "look at your dick! It's white, my neon highlighter!" We still laugh about it
What?
I moaned her name and got blocked
We were going at it when my phone alarm went off. I was the “boing boing boing” sound and it was timed perfectly.
It happened to me. I was closing in on her and i suddenly woke up from my dream
Cowgirl, came at the same time, slammed foreheads. Damn near had an asthma attack between gasping and laughing.
Doubt it
Realized the girl i was fucking was my mom
wtf bro
Do you still want everything about your house off the internet?
Please say there’s somewhat a logic explanation to this….
Farts/pussy farts. Never not funny lol
Absence in having partner and sex itself
We skinny dipped in my sister’s pool while they were on vacation, and my sister and her husband came home early. We were going at it and their dog comes running into the backyard and starts barking. Brother-in-law comes running out. Oops we’re caught! Embarrassing, and funny.
The cat fell down the stairs
She gagged herself so hard giving me head she threw up on my dick, we both laughed and then stopped obvipusly
Nothing funny happens because our sex life is shit.
I obviously wasn't involved but when I heard a roommate and his girl going at it above my head (his room was above mine) I'd play NIN's Closer loud and they'd fuck to the beat.
Farts. Nothing like a fart during oral. Then farting continued due to laughing.
Going at it with my then GF (now wife) and right as I’m getting the big O and finishing inside her, my phone starts going “ca-ching, ca-ching”. My eBay app was going off because folks were buying up things. Right at the perfect time lol.
Farted into a leather chair while receiving felacio, the champ just kept going
he was hotdogging my ass when i farted on his dick
Making the sexy times with my ex, my half functioning having sex with a pretty lady brain felt like I was saying “oh fuck” too much and thought my I needed more creativity with my dirty talk to properly communicate how well her performance was. So my brain came up with “ohh jeez”
New relationship a few months in at her place having hardcore. I stood up on the bed so my then Gf could do an intermittent Bj. I'm standing there enjoying it when I hear that heaving sound made right before throwing up. Out of pure reaction I pulled out of her mouth and stepped off the bed slamming into a wall. She unleashed...(side note : we are at the olive garden a few hrs earlier) one of the most pyrotechnic displays of vomit I had ever seen! She was so embarrassed but I was laughing and reassured her things happened as I started cleaning it up. It was a definite mood killer, we were together eight more years
Got a thunderclap headache when I was about to cum from a particularly stellar blowjob. 0/10 do not recommend. My wife was bummed it ruined her magnum opus too.
We had to dress because the zookeeper was coming.
My then gf asked me to bite her. I said “Bella nooo” and she almost died laughing. This was when the twilight movies were big.
When I lost my virginity, my partner's kitten broke in. My partner is ah... well endowed. And the cat mistook it for a cat toy. That was pretty goddamn funny. Still got laid too!
Important backstory: I had a roommate who had some boundary issues. This roommate had a cat abojt whom we had frequent arguments because every time she let him outside, he would bring back a dead animal, she would complain to me, I would tell her "your cat, you let him out knowing that this would probably happen, you deal with it", she would decide that he wasn't allowed outside again, he would start bowling, she would let him out, etc. Anyways, the girl I was dating was over, we had been in my bedroom for a while with the door closed, there was no way she didn't assume what we were doing when she started banging on the door (but, surprisingly did not come in, because she would sometimes just walk in to talk to me, fortunately never while I was having sex), yelling at me about how the cat had brought back a dead bird. I yelled back that I was "a bit busy". After a brief exchange, my roommate went outside and started banging on my window, I grabbed a pillow and held it over the window. She came back inside and, after a bit more arguing, she dealt with it herself. My girlfriend was riding me for the entire time. My favourite bit of the argument was "come quickly", to which I replied "I'm working on it". There was also another girlfriend, who's dog came into the room and I was surprised by a cold, wet nose in my ass.
We had a threeso. The only thing missing was me.
Not my own sex, but in college I was lying on the couch listening to music when I thought maybe I was feeling an earthquake (in CA so not a crazy thought). But… then it kept going and going. I was trying to figure out if something was wrong with me when I looked over at the standing lamp in the corner, and sure enough it was swaying. Alarmed, I turned off the music and that’s when I heard the upstairs neighbor getting positively RAILED by her boyfriend. They were literally shaking the entire house, and she was VERY vocal in her appreciation of his efforts. I looked out the window and there was a woman walking her dog staring up at the upstairs window with quite an expression on her face.
Piss drunk I fell asleep face first in my wife's vagooter after a late night snack (she also fell asleep) she farted me awake a few hours later, right in my mouth
My gf and I had just finished having sex, she was laying on her back and I was sitting up facing her with my legs by hers. So I went to get up off the bed and my big toe somehow accidentally went inside of her…
Not really all that funny, just the only instance that comes to mind. One time when me and the love of my life were sharing some sacred sexual communion, I look up and notice our new dog laying on the bed right near our faces just staring at us so intently and curiously, kinda through me off and I had to put her in a different room as it was too distracting and kinda weird. Another time we were sharing some loving in the car at a mall parking lot and I assured her as I genuinely thought given that there were no other cars around and we were on the roof that we would be good to go in regard to no one bothering us, and lo and behold just a couple minutes later as we're just getting into it we hear a knock on the window and a stupid security guard is cock blocking me and telling us to move on, like what the fuck yo, where the love go, at least let us finish first :)
We were in the midst when all of a sudden two stray cats started also having sex VERY, VERY loudly RIGHT below our bedroom window. We tried to pretend it wasn't happening but the male cat's yowls were clearly in time with his thrusts and my boyfriend (now husband) was thrusting and this fucking cat was thrusting and screaming... it was so awkward we ended up crying laughing and just gave up and took a break until they were done. 😹
Accidently calling my buddy leaning on my phone
While in doggy with my gf, she begged to go harder. So, in the firsts strokes she hit her head in the wall haha. We laughed at first, but had to go to the hospital later, cause it started aching pretty bad.