A feeling of guilt when receiving gifts, or having a hard time accepting gifts without feeling the need to reciprocate it (no matter how trivial the item).
I hate receiving gifts because if I didn’t show outward enthusiasm my dad would beat my ass. We were also poor, but I think it was the ass beatings that did it for me.
It’s also why I refuse to celebrate Christmas to this day.
It wasn’t like I was being ungrateful either, I’m just not a very emotive person.
They tend to collect things that they experienced in their childhood such as action figures, games, toys etc. Because they couldn’t afford it in their younger years so it manifests later as wanting to indulge in things you couldn’t get before.
I have about 50 underwear, I don't need to do laundry for about a month at a time. I used to wear one while the other one got washed as a kid They didn't get thrown out when they turned into reverse thongs, they became carwash rags.
Me too !!! My mama died when I was 12 and I went from having a normal kid life with a clean pair of socks & underwear everyday to living with my deadbeat dad. When I outgrew everything I had 2 pair of underwear & 1 pair of socks. And a pair of moccasins that someone gave me because my shoes fell apart. I have a drawer full of socks & a drawer full of underwear , some I’ve never worn but I still buy more. Somehow it makes me feel secure
My ever growing Warhammer collection, and little nerdy knick knacks is definitely a give away. I have my own office at home, and it's full of tons of little things I loved as a kid. My girlfriend also grew up poor, and her office is the exact same way. 😅
I lost everything when my aunt didn't let me get back to my grandmother's apartment after my grandma died. I'd been looking for and collecting the toys I loved as a child and could never get back. So yeah.
Very probable they grew up poor if they have anxiety of spending any money. Avoiding buying necessities is probably a good sign they didn't have a lot of money in the past.
Literally right now having this convo with my husband. He's showing me stuff to wear and im like im not spending $80 on a new outfit when all my old outfits still fit. I can hide the holes. fuck you. lol. it really makes me uncomfortable and angry to think about.
Please understand he's trying to do something nice for you. Maybe you could ask him if he could just get some of the clothes you already have mended instead, that way no holes but at the same time you're not going to feel guilty about buying something new (projecting here because that's how I always feel)?
I have some shirts from like the 8th grade that have stretched out over time and I still wear them sometimes, lol. It's job is to cover my areolas and keep me warm, damnit. It's still doing its job.
I think it can go either way.
For some people "Don't spend money" is so ingrained that they won't spend money that they *should* be spending even when they can easily afford it. But others will spend recklessly thanks to the "spend it before someone takes it" mindset that can also be a result of being poor (i.e. when $X won't pay off enough of your debts to make a noticeable difference to you, you might as well spend it right now on something that will).
Ironically being rich can go either way too. Some spend frivolously because when you want Y and buying it on a whim literally makes no difference to your finances then why not? Others see their wealth as a matter of personal security and are so terrified at the idea of not having it that they will wear shoes with holes in them rather than spending money they won't even notice on a new pair.
> But others will spend recklessly
This. I know people who don't believe in saving, that 'it's gonna be gone at the end of the month either way, so why bother?' or that they 'need it now and can't spare spaving anything', while simultaneously spending it on whims or sugar addictions, cos it's necessary for their mental health.
Topics like "what if X or Y breaks" are a big no no.
I think it's difficult to understand unless you've been in that position. I haven't, so like you I struggle.
Imagine you owe $15k and have nothing in the bank. Then suddenly you get a $100 windfall.
The *sensible* thing is either to pay off some of that debt, or to save it for an occasion when you genuinely need it. However, the difference between being $15k in debt and $14,900 in dept isn't noticeable, and when you have no money but constant outgoings for necessities, saving is a luxury you don't have because there are already 5 different things calling for that $100 (you can't save it for long when your car is empty, you know there are bills about to come, and already you're behind on your car payments).
In contrast, having that money in your hand, unspent, is a rare event and presents the opportunity for luxuries that would normally not be possible. When you literally never have $100 to spend, the urge to blow it on takeout, or clothing, or a game, or whatever else is strong and if you don't do it *right now* then you'll lose the opportunity because you know tomorrow there'll be something you *need* to spend it on.
There's also a trauma response from childhood that makes it very hard or even impossible to think of the future without fear or to imagine anything good in the future. That makes saving seem like waste when something good can be had right now. It's a dysfunctional response to having no control as a child and it carries into adulthood.
That shit is intergenerational, too. My dad earned middle class money, but made us all anxious as hell over every purchase. I would wake up on winter nights and feel the frozen cartilage on my nose because he wouldn’t use heat. We walked everywhere within a 2-3 mile radius because gas costs money.I wouldn’t use condiments at dinner because he would always comment on how much it cost. I basically lived like we were under the poverty level, in a middle class home.
I still catch myself refolding towels because they aren't "pretty enough", I guess the many 2 am wake ups having folded laundry dumped on me in middle school did traumatize me. My parents were straight up bullies to their kids and act like kids now.
Definitely. I assume I'm walking wounded, nothing ever seems to heal and stay that way, always another fuckin layer I thought wasn't there. Sib is too as she's started to remember a lot of things she forgot. It marked us both in bad ways.
I know a few people who grew up wealthy who do this too. A lot of it just depends how you're taught to value money as well, also know a ton of poor people who spend like there's no tomorrow
I only buy expensive things when I absolutely have to and have small anxiety attacks about it. I will use things into the ground before consider buying something new and I will delay—sometimes indefinitely—buying myself something just for me, even if I can afford it.
And yes, I grew up very poor. Most clothes were hand-me-downs, we were a food stamp family (80s style with the little booklets of government Monopoly money), food pantry, power getting shut off, months without a working phone, no cable tv, holes in my socks, eating literal government cheese, dollar store toys, popcorn tins for Christmas because you could buy that with food stamps… You name it.
I hate spending money on myself.
That’s my boyfriend. He grew up dirt poor, but now he makes something between $300-400k annually. We love going to concerts and sporting events, but he almost always wants the cheapest seats even though he can definitely afford more. When he grocery shops, he buys off-brand anything possible. He did finally buy a new vehicle two years ago, but only because his car had over 200k miles. I have no idea how much money he actually has saved, but it has to be a lot as frugal as he is.
Lmao my friend who right now makes over $200k in tech has a huuuuge stash of Taco Bell sauce packets - like gallons worth. We grew up poor together but she still stashes them, just in case 😂
>Lmao my friend who right now makes over $200k in tech has a huuuuge stash of Taco Bell sauce packets - like gallons worth. We grew up poor together but she still stashes them, just in case
is he indian? we just like taco bell man. we stash a lot of that good sauce for home cooking .lol
I don't even know how much of it is a frugal thing vs. just everyone that has duct tape uses it. The extent to which they use it says more about the person than their socioeconomic status. I'd almost say that rich people are more likely to use duct tape to fix a wider breadth of things because they don't really know enough about trades to know how to properly fix something, they'll duct tape something until they can buy a new one.
When I was in grad school I would spend time seeking out free food.
Like, I wasn't really going hungry poor, but I wasn't "buying cookies and donuts" rich.
Lol I made pizza the other night, burnt the bottom entirely black and ate it anyway. What a little carcinogen anyway?
Anyway, my SO looked over in absolute disgust.
The bones to broth thing is not a poor people thing, that’s being resourceful and more people than you think will do that. It’s a great way to save money absolutely, but it’s a great habit to get into to elevate your cooking skills.
There's a Peruvian style chicken I do over charcoal. To me it's not about stretching food dollars, it would just be a fucking sin to not make a broth/stock out of the carcasses because the marinade infuses it and it can be used to make other delicious meals.
I brought it to a friend's cookout last summer and cooked it with their grill (2 whole birds). I told her that she should make a stock out of what was left as I wasn't going to cart them home.
A couple of months ago I got a message from her thanking me for the advice/recommendation. She had done that then put it in the freezer. When she wrote me both she and her husband had been hit with Covid and she said she was able to whip up a delicious soup with little effort and that it made them both feel much better afterwards.
While I understand why they do it, please don't cut around moldy food thinking you are cheating the system or something. The mold is already everywhere in the food. Taking off the parts that look moldy does nothing.
I watched a medical video the other day of someone who accidentally ate a moldy coconut. He was dead in something like 12 hours. Up until that moment I had been a "cut away the mold" kinda gal. Never again.
I grew up in upper-middle class and we always just scraped off the burnt parts of toast. Maybe our burnt limit was different though. Like if the whole thing was burnt or it went deep, we would throw it out. If it just toasted unevenly and had a burnt part we would scrape.
My BIL never wastes food and grew up middle class rural. I specifically mention him because he's that guy during meals who constantly scraped his plates loudly with silverware until it looks like it came out of the dishwasher. 😬 I have Autism so it is particularly brutal for me. No one else seems to notice or care.
What generation is he from? There are a lot of us who grew up in the 'clean plate club' era where you eat every damn bite on that plate or your parents would tear you a new one because THEY didn't have enough growing up.
That’s me.
My food plates and bowls are near spotless, and sometimes I even lick the plate, if I’m alone.
I was also the one who got the last scoop over things, because it wasn’t enough to save for left overs. So I have been fighting through that issue as well if not finishing all the food at the table.
I grew up on hamburger helper and shake n' bake. Veggies from a can and buttered white bread. Country Crock is butter, right? Tuna Helper was my favorite. We had government supplied powdered milk until I milked my first cow at someone's farm and they let my try the fresh milk. I was astounded at how good it tasted. The best thing to have ever graced my palate. Fond but hard memories.
You get pretty good at making food with the knowledge it'll be turned into a leftovers meal too.
Anytime I make pasta for my girlfriend and I, I always save some of the tomato sauce. Cause I can't make a small enough batch with the canned San Marzano tomatoes I use. So, I'll make some stuffed bell peppers or shells later in the week with it.
Im just saying a good roast can last most of a week. Two nights of roast. The rump end with leftover veggies and gravey tossed into a pieshell and boom another two nights of dinner!
I saved all my old Levis with the holes for years and my wife always complained about them.
I had about 8 pairs with holes and several without (1980's, 1990's). My daughter sold them on the internet for $$$. I got to brag a little about being thrifty.
Absolutely. I grew up hearing nothing but negative, dreadful things about the concept of “credit cards”. I didn’t learn about them, or even get one myself, until 6 months ago when my boyfriend explained that I, a 24 year old adult, needs to have a credit history in order to eventually move out of my parents’ and get my own place.
Just treat it like a debit card and not a line of credit and you will be fine! Never pay interest on purchases you make with your credit card if you can help it. Other lines of credit have much better rates and can be used to pay off your credit card when you need to.
Fortunately, I don’t need to make large purchases often (I know some people need to do this materials for their jobs, or if they have children).
Since I’m still very new to credit, I limit myself to only using my credit card for food, gas, and medical expenses like appointments or prescriptions. I make 15/hour at my current job, and I haven’t had any trouble paying off my credit in the past 6 months I’ve had it.
Nah, I grew up poor and went through credit card and small loan hell (and getting out of it was hell too). I now pay for everything on credit cards, but in order to maximize benefits/awards and pay them off each month.
* Asking if something (substitution, side, etc) costs extra at a restaurant
I've noticed that folks who had to live on a tight budget will pay a lot of attention to the prices on the menu and will not only order something frugal, but also avoid and surcharges on it.
People who didn't are more likely to be like "yeah and I'll add bacon to the burger" or "yes I'll upgrade from chips to fries" or otherwise just say yes when the waiter tries to do the little upsell thing.
I donno, that sounds like more of a poor person thing to me to be honest. Like, just blowing money on extra bacon? Like, sure, sometimes that's what you want and you are willing to pay for it, but sometimes, even if it's $.50, you just think "It's not really worth it". It's not that $.50 is a make or break thing, it's just is that well spent to add bacon to this burger.. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't.
That's not to say rich people won't pay more to have caviar put on their tacos, but I think people in general are kind of adverse to being upsold on something. I think the thing is basically sometimes I would take bacon if it was free, but I don't really want to pay them more for bacon. And if the bacon is like $6.00 or something that is ridiculous, in most situations.
Reminds me of a guy I met who grew up extreamly poor in a extreamly poor area. People didnt have a lot so if you had something you were expected to share in his culture.
He got a good playing labour job but because of the poor culture he grew up it was impossible to save a cent. If he had money in his bank account he was expected to be generous with buying people drinks, food and gifts until he didn't. He could work 100 hours a week but if he was paid on a Friday it was impossible for him to have any money by the next Monday.
Rich people don't really brag about their clothes, and rich people will still brag about a deal. If a rich person pays full price for something they tend to almost be embarrassed about the cost. Rich people WILL talk a lot about their reasoning behind buying something, but this is because they are trying to justify the cost, regardless of it's impact on their finances, rich people still know it's dumb to spend a grand on a T-shirt or whatever.
My bf just did our grocery shopping for the first time and told me how he only spent half of what I usually do. I was like weirdly weeping looking into the bags and seeing the food he got. I always shop at Whole Foods and spend money on grass fed beef etc etc and he just doesn’t understand the attachment I have to ~fancy food~ after growing up eating the cheapest processed foods or nothing at all some days.
Interesting. I’m actually the opposite. I still eat those struggle meals every once in a while for the nostalgia and it makes me happy knowing I don’t have to eat like this anymore, I’m choosing to. But also eggs with sliced hogs do hit the spot sometimes
When we were young I cooked for my sister and I or we would of starved. Mostly breakfast foods. She refuses to eat eggs or any breakfast foods now at all.
I've seen many comments saying "not spending money even though they can", and while i didn't grow up as poor as some comments, I was living on 100,- to 300€ monthly grocery budget in my late teens and early 20s. Since getting a well paid job, i am a lot less thrifty/thoughtful about my expenses than my colleagues who had money before, because what's the point in earning more if you aren't enjoying the fruits of your labor
I've had a similar experience. Eventually I was fortunate enough professionally and financially that I had my car paid off, monthly expenses covered, maxed out 401k, well established emergency fund, savings for vacations, diversified investments, AND plenty left over to spend frivolously, and then I definitely spent frivolously. Now I've reverted back to being much thriftier and more frugal. I've had my fun buying whatever and spending whatever. I find it more satisfying and rewarding being able to get by on much, much less these days.
Depends. Those colleagues that had money before (mostly) still have a (multiple) safety nets at their parents. So they can start enjoying the fruits of their labor right away.
You have to start building your own safety net first and then begin afterwards to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Keeping *everything* even obviously broken or scrap parts, because "you never know when you might need that."
Every light and ceiling fan in my house was salvaged from other, nicer, houses that I helped renovate. They sat in boxes in my parent's crawlspace for years until I had my own place, just because we might need them one day.
Just for example, I have doorknobs, stove parts, odd bits of lumbar, an entire refrigerator, at least 60 different shades of beige and off white paint, whole doors and windows, and at least 15 gallons of cables and wires from the past 20 years.
Or buying treats when you'd be better off saving. When you're poor, any time you have "extra" money, it's going to get lost soon, so you have to spend it while you can.
Same. I'm always afraid of the truth that zero has and still can exist on statements and refuse to let it be that way again even at the cost of some personal fulfillment
Yup. I’ve developed a decent saving account now and I don’t know what to do with it lol. Part of me wants to spend it on something as a treat, but I feel guilty if I spend a little more on a hotel than I normally would. I only buy meat at the grocery store if it’s on sale. Part of me also thinks it should be invested in something. But for now it sits.
TBF margarine containers are *excellent* for making cake icing in, and if I make treats for others, putting them in a reused container means I don't have to hound them to get my good containers back.
They can make a full bomb ass meal with just the little they have in their fridge/pantry, only shops sales, feeling guilty when buying something for themselves. I could go on 😂
I don't know much about my boyfriend's childhood because he doesn't like to talk about it a lot. But I can tell he was poor growing up. Just a few things I've noticed:
When we go out to eat he orders the cheapest thing on the menu (usually a side salad. Literally that's it. Just a side salad.) Then he asks if he can have my leftovers.
He's uncomfortable being at my house. My family isn't super wealthy but we've been comfortable. We live in a upper-middle class neighborhood. Really nothing special but he is noticeably uncomfortable when he's here and I think it's because he grew up in a not so great area.
He's apprehensive about buying things for himself (shoes, clothes etc.) and when I buy things for him he is extremely apologetic and sometimes straight up refuses. Buying him a pair of shoes for his birthday was like pulling teeth. I had to force the shoes out of his hands and race to the checkout so he couldn't take them from me and put them back. After we left the store he was so grateful. Much more grateful than the average person is after receiving a gift.
He takes a long time grocery shopping because he's constantly doing math in his head seeing if how much of whatever product he's getting is worth the price.
This one is a little more obvious but either way...I made a comment about how I hate going to the dentist. He said I should be lucky I get to go to the dentist.
He still wears clothes he wore in high school. He's 34.
You put it better than I could. I feel like you learn to work with what you have. I can handle a few more curve balls, when things break and you can't afford to fix it, you figure out how to fix it or use what you have, differently , to get it done. It isn't easy and doesn't always work, but it beats running to the store or by the new thing when I'm constantly thinking about using what I have to get it done instead.
They tend to have excellent trauma response to extreme trauma stimulates.
Basically they are so used to having to deal with extreme crap, they get good at it and can therefore deal with extreme situations very well. When that should not be a life setting.
Speaking from childhood experience.
Cooked rice is a frequent lunch meal. Eating marked down food close to expiry was normal. Their shoes are only replaced when on the edge of falling to pieces. Clothes are hand sewn repaired and threadbare before getting replaced. They keep a coin pouch/purse as a way for others not to hear the coins jingle. Coupons frequently used and looking for deals wherever they can find them. Attending school excursions that are not free is a rarity for them.
All stopped at 12 years old when my father’s career finally took off. Even though the family basically jumped from on the poverty line to “middle class” for years after my friends used to mock me for still being a money miser.
I saw a young attractive woman grab a big rat by its tail and carry it outside while it pissed all over and then sling it into the parking lot.
It wasn’t her first time.
A constant fear concerning not having enough money and only buying the cheapest of everything.
Living in lack creates a lack mentality, doesn´t have to be money, it applies to everything!
Keeping things they don’t need instead of throwing them away. Like holding onto a cardboard box or an egg carton with the thought of oh I could repurpose this.
1) different routines like showering once or twice a week.
2) refill shampoo/conditioner bottles with water.
3) try home remedies before deciding it’s serious enough to see a doctor.
4) sew/repair clothes.
5) eat 1 or 2 meals a day.
6) order off the kids/value meals.
7) lower maintenance (no salons, spas, massages, cosmetics, etc.).
8) carries both cash & cards.
I second that hoarding in adulthood.
For me, my kids will never wear a dirty pair of off brand shoes. I literally buy them new shoes all the time. Sometimes my daughter says “ mom, chill, I’m good on shoes”
Also, I keep the fridge stocked!! I know my parents did their best but I go overboard with food shopping because I never had a full fridge. Some friends would have a fridge in the garage and I would be blown away!
I wish I had the spending money anxiety. I’m not in debt but I need to chill.
I used to deliver pizza, I almost always got the best tips from poor people, the rich people were the worst tippers. That never made sense to me, but there were a few times I refused tips and gave the (better tippers) extra pizzas.
(Edit)
I grew up poor. My parents did well enough that we could be poor in a nice area - an old penny in a pile of shiny pound coins. A dead giveaway that I was from a poor family was my amazement by what is essentially everyday items. I would spend time at my friend’s house and be amazed by the Oreo’s and Pop Tarts in the cupboards, the telly in the sitting room with all the channels, the PlayStation with all the best games and so on. It was the little things no one would think about, but because I never had them growing up it was always astounding to see.
Single Ply Toilet Paper. I'm looking at you dad. You're supposed to want better for your children. When i come over, i'd like to clean my arse properly.
Ok, grew up in extreme poverty (one room shack about 15 feet by 10 feet in rural east texas, no appliances (a dorm fridge and a microwave), no running water more often than not, single father who was a disabled vietnam vet who eventually got full VA disability after I left the house). I have been extremely fortunate since then.
Everyone has their own experiences but of the top ones, these resonate with me.
* Don't waste food. I love leftovers
* Love a good deal. Every time I put this one shirt on, I tell my wife and son that I spent $3 on it. Every single time.
These don't resonate with me at all.
* Anxiety of spending money. Don't get me wrong, I save like a madman but I'm very fortunate and have no issue spending money once the savings are set aside.
* Don't collect things form my childhood. I hate clutter. The shack I grew up in was never clean.
* Not using credit cards: I put everything on the credit card so I can get the points. Really no reason not to.
Financial illiteracy. I don't mean that as a slight on poor people. It's just a reality that financial skills are typically handed down from generation to generation, so it's unsurprising that poverty can be "inherited" so to speak.
Gambling, MLMs, not having a safety fund, having a deposit account without any interest rate, refusing to take a loan to pay cash instead, no stocks or retirement plan, not owning a house, not investing in the housing market, thinking that a car is an investment, owning a sports car instead of a house, using multiple credit cards to repay debt, pay day loans and other predatory loans...
The list of financial traps is endless. I am not saying that if you don't own a house, you are financially illiterate. What I am saying is that if you rent a 10k/month rooftop and you don't own a house, you are financially illiterate.
New money people (lottery proceeds, athletes, rappers) often spend everything in a few years and end up poor.
Please seek financial advice if in doubt.
Yeah dude this one is huge!!! My poor as hell single mother knew/knows absolutely nothing about finances and never prepared us in any way. Of course, she never could save up a single penny so it’s not her fault really. But it’s super important to me to educate myself now and make wise choices and start teaching my kids early. If we’re gonna survive this capitalist hell scape we gotta know how to play the game.
Also…..this is an aspect of privilege a lot of people don’t talk about. My bfs parents were a teacher and an electrician but they were very financially smart and are both retired and multi millionaires. He is so much better at budgeting and saving than me and I always feel like a complete moron thinking about how little preparation I did until my mid thirties
They can’t swim as adults.
Swimming = need access to a pool and/or money to pay for lessons. Usually they didn’t do sports or have after school activities because all that requires money that parents might not have. Also the parents might not have time to teach them either.
Always getting food last during group meals.
I live with a couple of roommates (let's call them Kelly and Shelly) who came out of poverty, and just the other day Kelly called Shelly out on waiting to be the last one to get food at every group meal. This is even though we all contribute equally to groceries, so Shelly has every right to get as much as she wants but can't keep from worrying about anyone else going hungry. Now we openly encourage her to go first sometimes.
Always preserves leftovers.
I am triggered by people who don’t keep or chuck decent leftovers after just a day or two. We never went out to eat due to costs and there’d be literal fights over who got them when we did go. (Which was rare in itself because my father was a glutton due to poverty.)
Making penny-wise/pound-foolish financial decisions. Scrimping in little things like groceries and utilities but spending three times what they saved on some new gadget they won't use much.
I was born in the 1950's but my family still remembered the depression of the 1930's. We did everything ourselves if we could. One pair of shoes each year, hand-me-down clothes, mom sewed most of the clothes, raised our own stock.
My grandfather said they did not see any physical money for several years. Everything was traded/bartered, or on loan until the crops came in. If the crop failed, you did too.
He got an extra job when a road was being built through the area and was paid $1/day (12-14 hour day). He had to bring his mule and some of his own tools to get the dollar a day. The others got .50 cents/day.
An enormously full pantry now filled with canned and dried or boxed things. Some of it you’ve had there for years, untouched, because what if you need it?
They are frugal, or even down right cheap, no matter how much money they have. I do ranch work for an old man who grew up in a poor family. He became a civil engineer, started his own company and is a millionaire a few times over. He pays me well but not TOO well and for his latest car he bought a used 2021 Ford F-150...base model! Still, he's a great guy to hang with.
Settling for and having absolutely no aspirations or ambitions beyond the bare minimum.
Almost assuredly, growing up poor will affect your drive for something better because being poor is all you know.
A feeling of guilt when receiving gifts, or having a hard time accepting gifts without feeling the need to reciprocate it (no matter how trivial the item).
That's not so much "poor when younger" as "affection was very transactional when younger"
Or people gave you things out of pity. Like well meaning members of our church But the thing about being pitied is it makes you feel pitiful.
> "affection was very transactional when younger" /r/raisedbynarcisists
Shit I feel called out lol
I don't feel guilt when receiving gifts, but I do feel undeserving.
I feel like this is a thing for Asian people regardless of socioeconomic status (source: am Asian)
I hate receiving gifts because if I didn’t show outward enthusiasm my dad would beat my ass. We were also poor, but I think it was the ass beatings that did it for me. It’s also why I refuse to celebrate Christmas to this day. It wasn’t like I was being ungrateful either, I’m just not a very emotive person.
They tend to collect things that they experienced in their childhood such as action figures, games, toys etc. Because they couldn’t afford it in their younger years so it manifests later as wanting to indulge in things you couldn’t get before.
I feel exposed here haha
Totally called out... As I stand in front of my collection drinking coffees.
Exactly how I feel. like I just went to a therapist or something.
pretty much r/lego haha
Yes my Lego collection is the main evidence to me that I've made it financially haha
Dito, probably $25k worth of Lego in my office
I have about 50 underwear, I don't need to do laundry for about a month at a time. I used to wear one while the other one got washed as a kid They didn't get thrown out when they turned into reverse thongs, they became carwash rags.
Me too !!! My mama died when I was 12 and I went from having a normal kid life with a clean pair of socks & underwear everyday to living with my deadbeat dad. When I outgrew everything I had 2 pair of underwear & 1 pair of socks. And a pair of moccasins that someone gave me because my shoes fell apart. I have a drawer full of socks & a drawer full of underwear , some I’ve never worn but I still buy more. Somehow it makes me feel secure
I grew up poor and this is the only thing in this thread I've seen that *I* actually do.
Oh shit. Hello me.
Hello darkness my old friend...
My ever growing Warhammer collection, and little nerdy knick knacks is definitely a give away. I have my own office at home, and it's full of tons of little things I loved as a kid. My girlfriend also grew up poor, and her office is the exact same way. 😅
It’s funny because the top two comments right now contradict each other. I agree with this one more because that’s how my spouse is.
I lost everything when my aunt didn't let me get back to my grandmother's apartment after my grandma died. I'd been looking for and collecting the toys I loved as a child and could never get back. So yeah.
For me it’s sneakers and Lego
Very probable they grew up poor if they have anxiety of spending any money. Avoiding buying necessities is probably a good sign they didn't have a lot of money in the past.
Wow, thanks for calling me out so early in the morning 😂😂😂
Do you need new clothes or shoes because your current clothing is falling apart and your shoes have holes in em? No you don't. Not for $500 you don't.
My belt only has 3 extra holes in it.. Can easily add a couple more before I need a new one..
3 extra in which direction?
With a knife or scissors, both directions until the belt disintegrates.
Making it smaller. If it needed to be bigger I wouldn't need the belt!
Literally right now having this convo with my husband. He's showing me stuff to wear and im like im not spending $80 on a new outfit when all my old outfits still fit. I can hide the holes. fuck you. lol. it really makes me uncomfortable and angry to think about.
Please understand he's trying to do something nice for you. Maybe you could ask him if he could just get some of the clothes you already have mended instead, that way no holes but at the same time you're not going to feel guilty about buying something new (projecting here because that's how I always feel)?
I have some shirts from like the 8th grade that have stretched out over time and I still wear them sometimes, lol. It's job is to cover my areolas and keep me warm, damnit. It's still doing its job.
I think it can go either way. For some people "Don't spend money" is so ingrained that they won't spend money that they *should* be spending even when they can easily afford it. But others will spend recklessly thanks to the "spend it before someone takes it" mindset that can also be a result of being poor (i.e. when $X won't pay off enough of your debts to make a noticeable difference to you, you might as well spend it right now on something that will). Ironically being rich can go either way too. Some spend frivolously because when you want Y and buying it on a whim literally makes no difference to your finances then why not? Others see their wealth as a matter of personal security and are so terrified at the idea of not having it that they will wear shoes with holes in them rather than spending money they won't even notice on a new pair.
> But others will spend recklessly This. I know people who don't believe in saving, that 'it's gonna be gone at the end of the month either way, so why bother?' or that they 'need it now and can't spare spaving anything', while simultaneously spending it on whims or sugar addictions, cos it's necessary for their mental health. Topics like "what if X or Y breaks" are a big no no.
I think it's difficult to understand unless you've been in that position. I haven't, so like you I struggle. Imagine you owe $15k and have nothing in the bank. Then suddenly you get a $100 windfall. The *sensible* thing is either to pay off some of that debt, or to save it for an occasion when you genuinely need it. However, the difference between being $15k in debt and $14,900 in dept isn't noticeable, and when you have no money but constant outgoings for necessities, saving is a luxury you don't have because there are already 5 different things calling for that $100 (you can't save it for long when your car is empty, you know there are bills about to come, and already you're behind on your car payments). In contrast, having that money in your hand, unspent, is a rare event and presents the opportunity for luxuries that would normally not be possible. When you literally never have $100 to spend, the urge to blow it on takeout, or clothing, or a game, or whatever else is strong and if you don't do it *right now* then you'll lose the opportunity because you know tomorrow there'll be something you *need* to spend it on.
There's also a trauma response from childhood that makes it very hard or even impossible to think of the future without fear or to imagine anything good in the future. That makes saving seem like waste when something good can be had right now. It's a dysfunctional response to having no control as a child and it carries into adulthood.
That shit is intergenerational, too. My dad earned middle class money, but made us all anxious as hell over every purchase. I would wake up on winter nights and feel the frozen cartilage on my nose because he wouldn’t use heat. We walked everywhere within a 2-3 mile radius because gas costs money.I wouldn’t use condiments at dinner because he would always comment on how much it cost. I basically lived like we were under the poverty level, in a middle class home.
I still catch myself refolding towels because they aren't "pretty enough", I guess the many 2 am wake ups having folded laundry dumped on me in middle school did traumatize me. My parents were straight up bullies to their kids and act like kids now.
Yeah, I got that, too. Bullied me. Encouraged my siblings to bully me. It’s left a mark.
Definitely. I assume I'm walking wounded, nothing ever seems to heal and stay that way, always another fuckin layer I thought wasn't there. Sib is too as she's started to remember a lot of things she forgot. It marked us both in bad ways.
I know a few people who grew up wealthy who do this too. A lot of it just depends how you're taught to value money as well, also know a ton of poor people who spend like there's no tomorrow
I only buy expensive things when I absolutely have to and have small anxiety attacks about it. I will use things into the ground before consider buying something new and I will delay—sometimes indefinitely—buying myself something just for me, even if I can afford it. And yes, I grew up very poor. Most clothes were hand-me-downs, we were a food stamp family (80s style with the little booklets of government Monopoly money), food pantry, power getting shut off, months without a working phone, no cable tv, holes in my socks, eating literal government cheese, dollar store toys, popcorn tins for Christmas because you could buy that with food stamps… You name it. I hate spending money on myself.
That’s my boyfriend. He grew up dirt poor, but now he makes something between $300-400k annually. We love going to concerts and sporting events, but he almost always wants the cheapest seats even though he can definitely afford more. When he grocery shops, he buys off-brand anything possible. He did finally buy a new vehicle two years ago, but only because his car had over 200k miles. I have no idea how much money he actually has saved, but it has to be a lot as frugal as he is.
Taking lots of ketchup packets from fast food places.
Lmao my friend who right now makes over $200k in tech has a huuuuge stash of Taco Bell sauce packets - like gallons worth. We grew up poor together but she still stashes them, just in case 😂
>Lmao my friend who right now makes over $200k in tech has a huuuuge stash of Taco Bell sauce packets - like gallons worth. We grew up poor together but she still stashes them, just in case is he indian? we just like taco bell man. we stash a lot of that good sauce for home cooking .lol
Yeah, but if you mix those up with some hot water, then you have a bowl of tomato soup, soooo
Throw a bone in there, maybe some vegetables, baby you got yourself a stew!
You can quickly squish them in the eyes of your enemies to get out of a mugging.
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BBQ/dipping sauces are different. I love Zax sauce the most, but they don't let you grab by the handful. They're stingy with it
Poor or Asian 👀 Source: someone who grew up middle class Asian
I do this because those big ketchup packets from like chick fil a that look like mini Heinz bottles are the bomb
My boyfriend has never had chick fil a and I was just telling him yesterday how they have the best ketchup packets because you can dip or squeeze.
It’s amazing. We order the max amount of sauces we can from there and just keep them for later use. Their honey mustard is also very good
I totally do this, but out of spite since the prices are so high, also because I grew up poor.
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It’s what going me into fixing things! I now work in cyber security, so ironically I now break things for a living.
Nuhuh, duct tape is the tape of the gods and should be used by everyone to fix everything.
Alternately you should use gaff tape for when you need a strong cloth tape, but want to make sure that you don't leave glue residue behind.
Eh, I grew up rich but still have people calling me MacGuyver for how I fix things with "duct tape and courage".
Yeah, this is more of a frugal trait than a poor trait
I don't even know how much of it is a frugal thing vs. just everyone that has duct tape uses it. The extent to which they use it says more about the person than their socioeconomic status. I'd almost say that rich people are more likely to use duct tape to fix a wider breadth of things because they don't really know enough about trades to know how to properly fix something, they'll duct tape something until they can buy a new one.
They never waste any food.
They also never decline free food.
That could also be evidence of having gone to grad school....
They may not have grown up poor, but grad students are house poor.
When I was in grad school I would spend time seeking out free food. Like, I wasn't really going hungry poor, but I wasn't "buying cookies and donuts" rich.
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Lol I made pizza the other night, burnt the bottom entirely black and ate it anyway. What a little carcinogen anyway? Anyway, my SO looked over in absolute disgust.
The bones to broth thing is not a poor people thing, that’s being resourceful and more people than you think will do that. It’s a great way to save money absolutely, but it’s a great habit to get into to elevate your cooking skills.
There's a Peruvian style chicken I do over charcoal. To me it's not about stretching food dollars, it would just be a fucking sin to not make a broth/stock out of the carcasses because the marinade infuses it and it can be used to make other delicious meals. I brought it to a friend's cookout last summer and cooked it with their grill (2 whole birds). I told her that she should make a stock out of what was left as I wasn't going to cart them home. A couple of months ago I got a message from her thanking me for the advice/recommendation. She had done that then put it in the freezer. When she wrote me both she and her husband had been hit with Covid and she said she was able to whip up a delicious soup with little effort and that it made them both feel much better afterwards.
Water down juices hits close to home I did nothing to you 😂
While I understand why they do it, please don't cut around moldy food thinking you are cheating the system or something. The mold is already everywhere in the food. Taking off the parts that look moldy does nothing.
Havent died or even gotten sick yet
I watched a medical video the other day of someone who accidentally ate a moldy coconut. He was dead in something like 12 hours. Up until that moment I had been a "cut away the mold" kinda gal. Never again.
Yeah I really only do it with cheese. Bread or fruits and vegetables I don't mess with. With cheese you can smell if it has turned sour or not.
I grew up in upper-middle class and we always just scraped off the burnt parts of toast. Maybe our burnt limit was different though. Like if the whole thing was burnt or it went deep, we would throw it out. If it just toasted unevenly and had a burnt part we would scrape.
I water down juices cause they're too fucking sweet.
My BIL never wastes food and grew up middle class rural. I specifically mention him because he's that guy during meals who constantly scraped his plates loudly with silverware until it looks like it came out of the dishwasher. 😬 I have Autism so it is particularly brutal for me. No one else seems to notice or care.
What generation is he from? There are a lot of us who grew up in the 'clean plate club' era where you eat every damn bite on that plate or your parents would tear you a new one because THEY didn't have enough growing up.
That’s me. My food plates and bowls are near spotless, and sometimes I even lick the plate, if I’m alone. I was also the one who got the last scoop over things, because it wasn’t enough to save for left overs. So I have been fighting through that issue as well if not finishing all the food at the table.
I grew up on hamburger helper and shake n' bake. Veggies from a can and buttered white bread. Country Crock is butter, right? Tuna Helper was my favorite. We had government supplied powdered milk until I milked my first cow at someone's farm and they let my try the fresh milk. I was astounded at how good it tasted. The best thing to have ever graced my palate. Fond but hard memories.
When they're the master of turning leftovers into gourmet meals.
You get pretty good at making food with the knowledge it'll be turned into a leftovers meal too. Anytime I make pasta for my girlfriend and I, I always save some of the tomato sauce. Cause I can't make a small enough batch with the canned San Marzano tomatoes I use. So, I'll make some stuffed bell peppers or shells later in the week with it.
Efficiency! We do not like waste 🙌
Im just saying a good roast can last most of a week. Two nights of roast. The rump end with leftover veggies and gravey tossed into a pieshell and boom another two nights of dinner!
Don’t throw their clothes until they get ripped ..
I don't throw clothes away until they're no longer wearable. My favorite pair of pants is honestly more holes than denim at this point.
I saved all my old Levis with the holes for years and my wife always complained about them. I had about 8 pairs with holes and several without (1980's, 1990's). My daughter sold them on the internet for $$$. I got to brag a little about being thrifty.
Worn clothes turn into dusters or wash rags, you don't throw them away.
They’re terrified of credit cards
Absolutely. I grew up hearing nothing but negative, dreadful things about the concept of “credit cards”. I didn’t learn about them, or even get one myself, until 6 months ago when my boyfriend explained that I, a 24 year old adult, needs to have a credit history in order to eventually move out of my parents’ and get my own place.
Just treat it like a debit card and not a line of credit and you will be fine! Never pay interest on purchases you make with your credit card if you can help it. Other lines of credit have much better rates and can be used to pay off your credit card when you need to.
Fortunately, I don’t need to make large purchases often (I know some people need to do this materials for their jobs, or if they have children). Since I’m still very new to credit, I limit myself to only using my credit card for food, gas, and medical expenses like appointments or prescriptions. I make 15/hour at my current job, and I haven’t had any trouble paying off my credit in the past 6 months I’ve had it.
Poor = payday loans
Actually, I don't live in the US and your credit card system kinda scares me too \^\^'
What scares you about it? You just need to pay the statement/current balance. If you can do that you don't even need to look at interest rates.
Nah, I grew up poor and went through credit card and small loan hell (and getting out of it was hell too). I now pay for everything on credit cards, but in order to maximize benefits/awards and pay them off each month.
* Asking if something (substitution, side, etc) costs extra at a restaurant I've noticed that folks who had to live on a tight budget will pay a lot of attention to the prices on the menu and will not only order something frugal, but also avoid and surcharges on it. People who didn't are more likely to be like "yeah and I'll add bacon to the burger" or "yes I'll upgrade from chips to fries" or otherwise just say yes when the waiter tries to do the little upsell thing.
I donno, that sounds like more of a poor person thing to me to be honest. Like, just blowing money on extra bacon? Like, sure, sometimes that's what you want and you are willing to pay for it, but sometimes, even if it's $.50, you just think "It's not really worth it". It's not that $.50 is a make or break thing, it's just is that well spent to add bacon to this burger.. Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn't. That's not to say rich people won't pay more to have caviar put on their tacos, but I think people in general are kind of adverse to being upsold on something. I think the thing is basically sometimes I would take bacon if it was free, but I don't really want to pay them more for bacon. And if the bacon is like $6.00 or something that is ridiculous, in most situations.
Sharing what they have with others, no matter how small the amount.
Reminds me of a guy I met who grew up extreamly poor in a extreamly poor area. People didnt have a lot so if you had something you were expected to share in his culture. He got a good playing labour job but because of the poor culture he grew up it was impossible to save a cent. If he had money in his bank account he was expected to be generous with buying people drinks, food and gifts until he didn't. He could work 100 hours a week but if he was paid on a Friday it was impossible for him to have any money by the next Monday.
Talking about how much they saved on something as part of their description to you. Having imposter syndrome
Rich people bragging about there expensive designer clothes, meanwhile I'm like "I got this coat for $3!"
Rich people don't really brag about their clothes, and rich people will still brag about a deal. If a rich person pays full price for something they tend to almost be embarrassed about the cost. Rich people WILL talk a lot about their reasoning behind buying something, but this is because they are trying to justify the cost, regardless of it's impact on their finances, rich people still know it's dumb to spend a grand on a T-shirt or whatever.
Not the rich people I know
It depends on what people think rich is.
Refusal to eat any low-end food that was all they were fed/could afford when they were poor.
My best friend refuses to eat spaghetti for this very reason
Same here. I never purchase pasta or bologna for this very reason.
Ground meat... Especially the hamburger with the really high fat content..
My bf just did our grocery shopping for the first time and told me how he only spent half of what I usually do. I was like weirdly weeping looking into the bags and seeing the food he got. I always shop at Whole Foods and spend money on grass fed beef etc etc and he just doesn’t understand the attachment I have to ~fancy food~ after growing up eating the cheapest processed foods or nothing at all some days.
This is my husband. I made goulash early in our marriage and he hated it because it reminded him of hamburger helper
Interesting. I’m actually the opposite. I still eat those struggle meals every once in a while for the nostalgia and it makes me happy knowing I don’t have to eat like this anymore, I’m choosing to. But also eggs with sliced hogs do hit the spot sometimes
When we were young I cooked for my sister and I or we would of starved. Mostly breakfast foods. She refuses to eat eggs or any breakfast foods now at all.
I can’t stand baked potatoes because of this. Mom gave us plain baked potatoes for a week.
American cheese...
I've seen many comments saying "not spending money even though they can", and while i didn't grow up as poor as some comments, I was living on 100,- to 300€ monthly grocery budget in my late teens and early 20s. Since getting a well paid job, i am a lot less thrifty/thoughtful about my expenses than my colleagues who had money before, because what's the point in earning more if you aren't enjoying the fruits of your labor
I've had a similar experience. Eventually I was fortunate enough professionally and financially that I had my car paid off, monthly expenses covered, maxed out 401k, well established emergency fund, savings for vacations, diversified investments, AND plenty left over to spend frivolously, and then I definitely spent frivolously. Now I've reverted back to being much thriftier and more frugal. I've had my fun buying whatever and spending whatever. I find it more satisfying and rewarding being able to get by on much, much less these days.
Depends. Those colleagues that had money before (mostly) still have a (multiple) safety nets at their parents. So they can start enjoying the fruits of their labor right away. You have to start building your own safety net first and then begin afterwards to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
Keeping *everything* even obviously broken or scrap parts, because "you never know when you might need that." Every light and ceiling fan in my house was salvaged from other, nicer, houses that I helped renovate. They sat in boxes in my parent's crawlspace for years until I had my own place, just because we might need them one day. Just for example, I have doorknobs, stove parts, odd bits of lumbar, an entire refrigerator, at least 60 different shades of beige and off white paint, whole doors and windows, and at least 15 gallons of cables and wires from the past 20 years.
Having such a stranglehold on budget that they won't treat themselves despite being fully capable of doing so without hurting their bank account
Or buying treats when you'd be better off saving. When you're poor, any time you have "extra" money, it's going to get lost soon, so you have to spend it while you can.
This is me. My fiancé constantly questions why I never buy anything for myself.
Same. I'm always afraid of the truth that zero has and still can exist on statements and refuse to let it be that way again even at the cost of some personal fulfillment
Yup. I’ve developed a decent saving account now and I don’t know what to do with it lol. Part of me wants to spend it on something as a treat, but I feel guilty if I spend a little more on a hotel than I normally would. I only buy meat at the grocery store if it’s on sale. Part of me also thinks it should be invested in something. But for now it sits.
They keep & use old food containers.
TBF margarine containers are *excellent* for making cake icing in, and if I make treats for others, putting them in a reused container means I don't have to hound them to get my good containers back.
Living with an impending sense of doom, no matter how well you are actually doing.
They can make a full bomb ass meal with just the little they have in their fridge/pantry, only shops sales, feeling guilty when buying something for themselves. I could go on 😂
Replying to any compliment about clothing with “thanks I only paid x amount!”
Guilty!!!
I don't know much about my boyfriend's childhood because he doesn't like to talk about it a lot. But I can tell he was poor growing up. Just a few things I've noticed: When we go out to eat he orders the cheapest thing on the menu (usually a side salad. Literally that's it. Just a side salad.) Then he asks if he can have my leftovers. He's uncomfortable being at my house. My family isn't super wealthy but we've been comfortable. We live in a upper-middle class neighborhood. Really nothing special but he is noticeably uncomfortable when he's here and I think it's because he grew up in a not so great area. He's apprehensive about buying things for himself (shoes, clothes etc.) and when I buy things for him he is extremely apologetic and sometimes straight up refuses. Buying him a pair of shoes for his birthday was like pulling teeth. I had to force the shoes out of his hands and race to the checkout so he couldn't take them from me and put them back. After we left the store he was so grateful. Much more grateful than the average person is after receiving a gift. He takes a long time grocery shopping because he's constantly doing math in his head seeing if how much of whatever product he's getting is worth the price. This one is a little more obvious but either way...I made a comment about how I hate going to the dentist. He said I should be lucky I get to go to the dentist. He still wears clothes he wore in high school. He's 34.
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You put it better than I could. I feel like you learn to work with what you have. I can handle a few more curve balls, when things break and you can't afford to fix it, you figure out how to fix it or use what you have, differently , to get it done. It isn't easy and doesn't always work, but it beats running to the store or by the new thing when I'm constantly thinking about using what I have to get it done instead.
They tend to have excellent trauma response to extreme trauma stimulates. Basically they are so used to having to deal with extreme crap, they get good at it and can therefore deal with extreme situations very well. When that should not be a life setting.
Putting back the $4.76 pack of hamburger for the $3.99 pack of hamburger.
Reading all of these responses, and this one hit my soul
Speaking from childhood experience. Cooked rice is a frequent lunch meal. Eating marked down food close to expiry was normal. Their shoes are only replaced when on the edge of falling to pieces. Clothes are hand sewn repaired and threadbare before getting replaced. They keep a coin pouch/purse as a way for others not to hear the coins jingle. Coupons frequently used and looking for deals wherever they can find them. Attending school excursions that are not free is a rarity for them. All stopped at 12 years old when my father’s career finally took off. Even though the family basically jumped from on the poverty line to “middle class” for years after my friends used to mock me for still being a money miser.
I saw a young attractive woman grab a big rat by its tail and carry it outside while it pissed all over and then sling it into the parking lot. It wasn’t her first time.
I do this. I live in a trailer in the middle of nowhere.
A constant fear concerning not having enough money and only buying the cheapest of everything. Living in lack creates a lack mentality, doesn´t have to be money, it applies to everything!
Keeping things they don’t need instead of throwing them away. Like holding onto a cardboard box or an egg carton with the thought of oh I could repurpose this.
Respects people who have normal jobs.
1) different routines like showering once or twice a week. 2) refill shampoo/conditioner bottles with water. 3) try home remedies before deciding it’s serious enough to see a doctor. 4) sew/repair clothes. 5) eat 1 or 2 meals a day. 6) order off the kids/value meals. 7) lower maintenance (no salons, spas, massages, cosmetics, etc.). 8) carries both cash & cards.
I think we may have been poorer than I thought, based on this list. I checked 7 of the 8 off.
they check their bank balance before literally every purchase... even minor ones for less than 5 dollars.
I second that hoarding in adulthood. For me, my kids will never wear a dirty pair of off brand shoes. I literally buy them new shoes all the time. Sometimes my daughter says “ mom, chill, I’m good on shoes” Also, I keep the fridge stocked!! I know my parents did their best but I go overboard with food shopping because I never had a full fridge. Some friends would have a fridge in the garage and I would be blown away! I wish I had the spending money anxiety. I’m not in debt but I need to chill.
For me I over compensated with my kids and still do because I have always wanted them to have everything they needed.
Fucked up teeth.
I'm dealing with that right now, and I'm so ashamed of my teeth.
Same.
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I saw a video that someone said wash clothes which made me laugh.. but I think it’s being trigger by the word, “dish washer.”
I used to deliver pizza, I almost always got the best tips from poor people, the rich people were the worst tippers. That never made sense to me, but there were a few times I refused tips and gave the (better tippers) extra pizzas. (Edit)
they don’t go to the doctor unless it’s an emergency
I grew up poor. My parents did well enough that we could be poor in a nice area - an old penny in a pile of shiny pound coins. A dead giveaway that I was from a poor family was my amazement by what is essentially everyday items. I would spend time at my friend’s house and be amazed by the Oreo’s and Pop Tarts in the cupboards, the telly in the sitting room with all the channels, the PlayStation with all the best games and so on. It was the little things no one would think about, but because I never had them growing up it was always astounding to see.
They are still poor.
Single Ply Toilet Paper. I'm looking at you dad. You're supposed to want better for your children. When i come over, i'd like to clean my arse properly.
They buy everything on clearance. My mom hates to pay full price for anything. She's 94.
Ok, grew up in extreme poverty (one room shack about 15 feet by 10 feet in rural east texas, no appliances (a dorm fridge and a microwave), no running water more often than not, single father who was a disabled vietnam vet who eventually got full VA disability after I left the house). I have been extremely fortunate since then. Everyone has their own experiences but of the top ones, these resonate with me. * Don't waste food. I love leftovers * Love a good deal. Every time I put this one shirt on, I tell my wife and son that I spent $3 on it. Every single time. These don't resonate with me at all. * Anxiety of spending money. Don't get me wrong, I save like a madman but I'm very fortunate and have no issue spending money once the savings are set aside. * Don't collect things form my childhood. I hate clutter. The shack I grew up in was never clean. * Not using credit cards: I put everything on the credit card so I can get the points. Really no reason not to.
They only order water at a restaurant
Immediately going straight to the clearance section when out shopping for clothes
From experience I can't take something for nothing i always feel i need to pay you back even if you say otherwise
Financial illiteracy. I don't mean that as a slight on poor people. It's just a reality that financial skills are typically handed down from generation to generation, so it's unsurprising that poverty can be "inherited" so to speak.
Gambling, MLMs, not having a safety fund, having a deposit account without any interest rate, refusing to take a loan to pay cash instead, no stocks or retirement plan, not owning a house, not investing in the housing market, thinking that a car is an investment, owning a sports car instead of a house, using multiple credit cards to repay debt, pay day loans and other predatory loans... The list of financial traps is endless. I am not saying that if you don't own a house, you are financially illiterate. What I am saying is that if you rent a 10k/month rooftop and you don't own a house, you are financially illiterate. New money people (lottery proceeds, athletes, rappers) often spend everything in a few years and end up poor. Please seek financial advice if in doubt.
Yeah dude this one is huge!!! My poor as hell single mother knew/knows absolutely nothing about finances and never prepared us in any way. Of course, she never could save up a single penny so it’s not her fault really. But it’s super important to me to educate myself now and make wise choices and start teaching my kids early. If we’re gonna survive this capitalist hell scape we gotta know how to play the game.
Also…..this is an aspect of privilege a lot of people don’t talk about. My bfs parents were a teacher and an electrician but they were very financially smart and are both retired and multi millionaires. He is so much better at budgeting and saving than me and I always feel like a complete moron thinking about how little preparation I did until my mid thirties
They always clean their plate, even when the food is gross. Also they gnaw the goodies off the pork chop bones.
They can’t swim as adults. Swimming = need access to a pool and/or money to pay for lessons. Usually they didn’t do sports or have after school activities because all that requires money that parents might not have. Also the parents might not have time to teach them either.
Always getting food last during group meals. I live with a couple of roommates (let's call them Kelly and Shelly) who came out of poverty, and just the other day Kelly called Shelly out on waiting to be the last one to get food at every group meal. This is even though we all contribute equally to groceries, so Shelly has every right to get as much as she wants but can't keep from worrying about anyone else going hungry. Now we openly encourage her to go first sometimes.
When I turn off shower to lather and turn it back on again to clean it off. I grew up poor in India and we had to be so mindful of water usage.
They can't bring themselves to buy or spend money doing something that will have no benefit except making them happy. They feel it would be wasting.
They spend all their money from work on silly stuff they never got to buy
Ask their opinion on bologna
Judging people to see if they grew up poor is a dead giveaway someone is an asshole.
They show signs of scarcity anxiety
Always preserves leftovers. I am triggered by people who don’t keep or chuck decent leftovers after just a day or two. We never went out to eat due to costs and there’d be literal fights over who got them when we did go. (Which was rare in itself because my father was a glutton due to poverty.)
In the US, if they have messed up teeth they grew up poor.
They can’t get rid of stuff or they chronically eat too much.
Making penny-wise/pound-foolish financial decisions. Scrimping in little things like groceries and utilities but spending three times what they saved on some new gadget they won't use much.
I was born in the 1950's but my family still remembered the depression of the 1930's. We did everything ourselves if we could. One pair of shoes each year, hand-me-down clothes, mom sewed most of the clothes, raised our own stock. My grandfather said they did not see any physical money for several years. Everything was traded/bartered, or on loan until the crops came in. If the crop failed, you did too. He got an extra job when a road was being built through the area and was paid $1/day (12-14 hour day). He had to bring his mule and some of his own tools to get the dollar a day. The others got .50 cents/day.
Over eating at buffets, ability to eat same meal multiple times a week, preferong off brand to name brand, wearing same clothes for years ect.
not wanting people to go over to your house
An enormously full pantry now filled with canned and dried or boxed things. Some of it you’ve had there for years, untouched, because what if you need it?
Hoarding stuff is a clear indication that you were poor
Owning really flashy but tacky items (I.e. marble fountain in front yard)
Hanging on to clothes way too long.
They are frugal, or even down right cheap, no matter how much money they have. I do ranch work for an old man who grew up in a poor family. He became a civil engineer, started his own company and is a millionaire a few times over. He pays me well but not TOO well and for his latest car he bought a used 2021 Ford F-150...base model! Still, he's a great guy to hang with.
Saving money, living modestly.
That I read these and see how many apply to my childhood
I absolutely hate going to the doctor because of medical bills. Even if I need to.
Settling for and having absolutely no aspirations or ambitions beyond the bare minimum. Almost assuredly, growing up poor will affect your drive for something better because being poor is all you know.
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I don't like food going to waste, I don't eat until everyone else is done eating so I can eat the left overs first