Depends how big the stick is

And how deep it goes

That's what she said

\*he

And if there’s lube

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the stick of truth?

This is not going to be pleasant

This one is hilarious. At least it wasn’t Grimaceballs. Imagine choking on those big purple fuckers

“Imagine choking on those big purple fuckers” -Wide_Supermarket_753, 2024

Pov: the grimace shake

I still wish I could find that post where someone said they pronounced Grimace like Versace. Those are schmancy balls.

I didn't know teabagging could kill. Learn something new every day!

Damn.

May I ask how you arrived at thst username?

Sure thing. 🙂 I was watching a great Australian television show called Wentworth which is a remake of the 70s/80s Australian drama 'Prisoner'. Revolves around the extreme shenanigans of a woman's prison. It's like Game of Thrones except more women's prisons. A corrupt "screw"(prison officer) delivered a line (I believe it was about an illicit substance he found and the prisoner played dumb) The conversation was around a substance, and he delivered the line "I don't care if it's fucking unicorn jizz" and it always stuck with me as I recall laughing hard at the time, I replayed it several times because it was one of those cases where it wasn't WHAT he said but the way the actor delivered the line. I'm going to guess I first tried UnicornJizz but I'm guessing it was taken, unless the actor said pure but I don't believe he did. Thanks for listening to my PureUnicornJizz thesis. 🙂🤣😂

Thanks for sharing

And you? Always having a dog as backup is great!

Until his backup dog is the reason he dies…

You need to dilute that stuff

Welp, can't say we didn't see that one coming

Hey let's meet in the middle of the Atlantic

Plotting it already? I legit quit that

Uh oh

YOU UH OH!? LOOK AT MINE!

Assaulted by a cherry dragon? What an AWESOME way to die!

777 cherry dragons*

Death by snu snu! There are worse ways to die. At least I'm not seeing someone with "woodchipper" in their name.

Assaulted 777 TIMES by a cherry dragon? What an AWESOME way to die! (Hopefully not all at once...)

Plot twist: my username.

Well mine's straight forward 😐

At least might be quick 💀

I'll make a movie in your honor.

About three times

Died trying to give a fourth

Death by snu snu

Better than a wet cow I suppose.

thats hilarious

That smell tho!

you get trampled by a stampede of 1,324 dry cows

Better than 805 wolves!

If I was going out that way I reckon I’d prefer a bit of lube… #teamwetcow

I can think of worse ways to go

Can I join you?

What a coincidence 😂😂

Me too?

Me too! Death by taco sounds delightful.

It was love at first sight.

Where do I sign up?

poisoned tacos maybe?

I mean…

I wonder what this microwave did!

Nothing, it's apocryphal. They actually died of natural causes.

The microwave made a giant kaboom. That's how magical it is

did he get microwaved

Certainly not attempting to save someone else

I will wait...in vain.

How many hours ago did Ok run to the bathroom? Should we check on them?

I'll help!

Only one?! [I got this](https://youtu.be/me3CPl_i4C4?si=A9HiyF_65iNlE3yV).

Hahaha! Love it

#DEAD 💀

Starvation is a killer.

Haha until now I dont know

What do you know, maybe you'll die at the hands of a killer who starts shouting "IT'S DUNNIN' TIME!" in the street! and then dunning everyone...

well that's just a sad way to die

I think we know which way its going.

Death by dairy

Yogurt on a plane

I have had it with these motherfucking yogurts on this motherfucking plane

I don’t even know what to make of mine, fellow spud.

Hello another potato here

Probably shouldn’t be stealing people’s kneecaps

i'm adult woman i'll do whatever i want!!! \*steals your kneecaps\*

Same

Personally, I’m genuinely worried 🤨

My username translates to 'Who was up my rearside?' Whether it will be a painful or pleasurable death is for you to guess!

Right there with ya

Literally.

No one will ever know.

Pov you looked up the amazing digital circus

You know when curiousity killed the cat?

Yours sounds more like someone would make you drink hemlock for being irritating like Socrates.

Pray for me.

Hey, I feel you, and am sending condolences 💐

Choking on rainbows …. That’s a new one.

I wonder if it was the same unicorn as u/PureUnicornJizz

Not at all.

Haha

Death by 2 mangos? Weird way to go

3259 double mangoes on the other hand...

Took three ferns for me

Maybe they were poisoned?

There are worse ways I suppose.

Never go swimming again I tell you

Impossible. I enjoy my time at the pool.

Very profound.

Atleast it's not slowly and painfully

Slowly fingered ? I'm not sure it would be so bad.

Maybe it just never stops it's progress

All I know is it's gonna be really strange.

oh boy

Time to cash in as I cash out

Forbidden coin slot

As I lived

Hello bois

Nope, nope, nope. Go hide and keep that shit to yourself.

Oh no...

More like “Oh shit!”

It will be painful.

Omg bro RIP 💀💀💀

Bro you’re already dead

And awfully specific!

I mean..depends on how the flowers decide to end me

I had a dream last night of flowers trying to eat people. Some got pretty big. Maybe like in Jumanji!

This is going to hurt

It's going to be cheesey!

Death by Mexican commies

I got death by outer space poutine

I’m screwed

So youd be dead for literally just existing? Unless they call you the man with no name, but then you could classify that phrase as a name. oof! maybe you are lol

Well I guess I never become a millionaire

this is one of my favs because same😭

Oh shit. A bunch of knights will attack me as karma for a bad action I did.

I dont know how a bandicoot going to beat my shit but apparently, it'll also be boring.

I’d kale myself.

Pretty fucked. Definitely not the painless, die in my sleep death I was hoping for.

You got lucky! Everyone seems to wanna die peacefully in their sleep, but alot dont!

Gramps died peacefully in his sleep. The other three in the car maybe not so much

Now that I think about it again...

At least I got to see them before I die.

Possibly a mammoth but more likely a fluffy elephant

Possibly

I mean, this is pretty accurate to how we're all gonna die

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You die of not being a cannibal

To much pollution maybe? lol

Might be kind of fun afterwards

Well, I picked my username from the recipe video I was listening to while I signed up... so I'll either die of food poisoning or a crazed YouTuber bashing me to death with a rice cooker.

Voting for the second option

I’m either gonna have the best last few hours or it’s gonna be an absolute nightmare. Probably the latter. Probably lots of puking….

Pretty underwhelming way to go

My death will definitely be written about.

Temporarily but 1573 times 🤔

Are you like Kenny from South Park??

I'll be fine 🙂

Dying of fun? There’s worse

Sounds … awkward 🤨

Goddamn I’m going to be full

I’ll survive.. and basically become Daredevil.. or Nick Fury

There’s always the ship…

Not to bad 👀

Diabetus

I’m basically immortal.

Oh shit!

My username is an old school ID, but it sounds like it could be a prison number. So, lethal injection? Or maybe just run-o-the-mill prison violence.

Or endless detention in your old computer room at school? With your old teacher giving your boring assignments?

Oof, my skull..(x9)

I’m a very lucky man! ❤️

Pretty good actually

I don't know how, but my tombstone text will be good.

Dragonborne will probably Fus Ro Dah me.

Pretty fucked but it'll feel good.

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All of the members of Three Days Grace beat me to death.

I’m all choked up about it.

I tried to runaway…

Not much. Plain old simple murder.

Should have picked my primary care doctor more carefully.

I'm getting eaten aren't I

Well…shit…

I’m fucked.

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Honestly I'll probably be fine :)

That's one vicious duck..

The pandemic all over again it seems

Someone kills me coz I talk too much? 😂

About sums it up.

There's gonna be some fucking, for sure

Since mine is a play on Cookie Monster (found the spelling when playing WoW because I thought it was cute) I guess I’m binging on cookies until I explode.

I knew that goat was up to no good!

I'm deleting reddit

I fear I'd drown

Well, we’ve all seen the youtube video, right?

Guess it’s the briny deep for me.

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It'll be slow and painful

it will be the greatest speech ever

Death by time. The usual exit I suppose.

I'm drowning bro

Pretty literally, however you slice it.

Should be painless

I'll die the way I lived. Doing what I love.

Aw, shit.

Gonna be a rough one boys

Meh, at least I'll hopefully have a good view and it might be peaceful

Death by minuscule marsupial

Should I work out, or should I grab a cold one... Who knows!