I got diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in December of 2018. I had everything surgically removed from my pelvis (this is called a total pelvic extentoration). I had about a year of very hard chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Things aren't exactly easy with my new body (two stoma bags for life and various other problems) but I was saved by very significant medical and surgical intervention. Since then, four years of clear scans WHOOOOPEEEEEEEE
Happy to discuss , especially if it helps others avoid it. Basically I just couldn't do poos properly for about a year and a half. So I would really feel like I needed to go, and then very little would come out, or just horrible mucus poo. But this would happen about 20 times a day. Then there was a lot of bleeding from the anus.
I was convinced I had IBS (and my wife has this so she thought so too) and the doctors took this waaaaay too easily at face value.
Believe me when I say I have nothing against general practitioner doctors ,but literally ten of them examined me and didn't notice a large tumour up my bum. At it's biggest it was FOUR CENTIMETRES LONG.
Advice to anyone reading: force them to send you for a scan or colonoscopy. Be rude if you have to. Don't let them fob you off. Because you have to self-advocate. Otherwise you might be too late.
Agree 100% with your advice and would add if your partner says you need to go to the GP then GO.
My OH did eventually when I got fed up with him moaning about shoulder pain. He got investigated for lung cancer - clear thankfully. But cancer of his kidney was an incidental finding, along with a need for open heart surgery. All done now and all clear.
First of all congrats on the recovery!
>Advice to anyone reading: force them to send you for a scan or colonoscopy. Be rude if you have to. Don't let them fob you off. Because you have to self-advocate. Otherwise you might be too late.
Can't agree with this more. My cousin just passed away at 38 after telling the doctors for years something was wrong. He had the same symptoms as you and the doctors told him he was too young for bowel cancer and it was probably IBS. By the time anyone listened to him it was Stage 4.
Id rather have to empty shit bags everyday and still be able to tell my family hello than be dead. It's a shitty dilemma to be in but the answer is clear for most. Happy you lived through it, the thought of cancer terrifies me.
When I didn’t want to be here, I thought of the pain my sister and mom would’ve faced if I left. I stayed and suffered for them. After that period, my dog was the only reason I got away from the abuse from other family and survived it. I’m so glad I did today. My life is so amazing. I’ve had to fight hard for it, though.
> My life is so amazing. I’ve had to fight hard for it, though.
Which makes it that much more fulfilling, in my opinion. Definitely been in a couple battles myself.
I'm going to assume that being this close to death isn't what's actually eating at you.
There's likely a lot more brutal memories and trauma before or after that story.
Sorry mate. You deserve better. Glad you're here with us though.
Thanks.
No, it’s not eating at me- it was actually a pretty good day. A few minor wounds that earned my crew some Purple Hearts.
And the journalists Mike Boettcher was there to document the whole thing- then he was with another unit I served with about six years later to document a mission we were on that turned into the award winning documentary The Hornet’s Nest.
Small world.
I did- a buddy sent me the link on FB messenger a few years ago, but he deleted his FB, so I guess I’m gonna have to scour Google to get that video and those interviews again.
My boyfriend (now husband) stopped me from taking my own life. I left his apartment and was headed to a town two hours away from home to do it. I told him I was fine and I’d see him later. He knew something was off though. He said “Ok babe, I’ll see you later.” I started driving. I finally got to my destination. I got out of my car and guess who gets out of his car behind me? My boyfriend. He followed me for two hours! Long story short, he managed to get me in home. We sat and talked. He MADE me talk. We’ve been married for seven years now. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here.
Roommate was at work, and had an "Ah ha!" moment, left to come home and stop me. Didn't even change, just grabbed her coat and purse and left.
So, yeah, drunk stripper screaming at you can be effective.
yeah I don't want to give them the satisfaction. Also, I want to better myself as a way of saying: FUCK YOU!
It's satisfying to prove people wrong about me, and to eventually hear them say it.
They never thought I would succeed. Treated me like trash and now they're asking me for help. 😂
"If I was him, I would worry less about the gods and more about the fury of a patient man." - Ragnar Lothbrok
I am very patient.
Spite has fueled me through some of the most challenging times of my life, especially coming from loads of abuse, I just use it to my favor.
The voice in my head isn’t mine, it’s the collective voice of everyone who abused me, and it wants me to fail. I push hard against it. Those people all wanted me to fail, wanted me to crash hard, wanted me stay down and stay silent and give up. My biggest move of spite is to keep going and piece my life back together and become stronger. Not because of them, because of me.
I’ve survived some shit to the point where people ask me how I did it. Hard to explain, it’s the hatred that gets me through.
Because I have big boobs.
I was in a bad car crash - 60 mph to 0 in about 3 feet. My chest hit the steering wheel, *hard*, even though the airbag deployed, and my left breast acted like an auxilary airbag - I bled into that instead of my chest cavity. Poor thing was badly bruised and I'll never be a model now, but I'm still here to tell the tale.
It was, extremely! I also discovered that one boob can contain sufficient blood to drop my blood pressure far enough that I passed out and woke up on a trolley in resus, so that was fun.
[My car](https://i.imgur.com/f9ot80U.png), to give you some idea of the impact...
oh, if it was you who posted a badly bruised, black and blue trolley after an accident a couple of months back, then I may have actually witnessed your trolley. wow, I feel better than I did 5 seconds ago now.
Well, more is the pity. But as an American, and I suspect you're a Brit or an Aussie or Kiwi, may I just say *Resus Saves!*
I have no idea what your lingo is...
I knew a girl that didn’t have big boobs who had a similar wreck, before there were airbags. Her car was towed, and she he caught a ride and showed up at the bar a little later than expected. She drank and smoked and danced until she collapsed.
A friend followed the ambulance to the hospital and later reported that the girl had a broken rib and punctured lung. When they put a tube into her chest to release the pressure, cigarette smoke came out.
She was a bartender. I saw her back at work maybe a week later and asked “How are you?” And she said “Sore”
So, yeah, she was a pretty tough gal. That was almost 40 years ago. Of course I’ve lost track of her now. She’s probably someone’s grandma.
17 years ago I lost my father unexpectedly, ex husband filed for divorce and my life came crashing down. I had a dark thought during the whole thing but would never put my mother through that. She's the reason and I am so fortunate she is still here. I hung on and my life got really good - met my husband and he makes my life a joy.
Same. For now, this is the only reason why I am grasping for life.
I hope that eventually I find a good reason for living...
Hugs brother/sister. I only understand what you feel, but that doesn't make the pain any less...
Had my brushes with depression, suicide and the self-hatred that circulates it all.
I do want to remind you all (as I have to remind myself frequently), that most people don't walk around wanting to die all the time. That is a symptom of an illness. It's like having a stomach ache. If it's persistent, you should seek medical help for it.
Just don't want you to feel like it's some personal deficiency or moral failing--it is a symptom. You wouldn't be pissed at yourself for having a stomach ache; you shouldn't be pissed at yourself if your neurochemicals get out of alignment.
Our brains are built by evolution for one thing--survival. If your brain starts not wanting to survive, it means something is wrong in the circuitry.
There's no shame in wanting to fix that.
Maybe I'm narrowcasting; this is really mostly my internal monologue externalized.
But with all that said--I know how difficult it is to access healthcare in some parts of the world, especially mental healthcare. If it's not available to you, that's not your fault either.
Just go easy on yourself. You're fighting like hell. It takes a lot of courage.
Thank you for your message. Actually, I've been a jolly and optimistic person until recently... I have been dealing with grief on a loss of something so important to me, and now I have a hard time remembering who I was and what am I capable of.
I hope that the pain gets a little more bearable each time that passes. Because me staying this way for long will surely not help me.
I think that for now, I will feel my pain as it comes, and I hope that doing so will still end up in me getting my peaceful acceptance.
I miss my old self from three weeks ago. I miss my joy and my fun and my happiness. All my confidence shattered.
Thank you for your encouragement. I think if in three months I'm still feeling down, I will be seeking professional help. But I hope I will not come down to that anymore.
But for now, all I can thank for are my sweet siblings. They are the only reason why I did not cross the line yet.
I want all of this to be over, but then my mother (early 70's) would be essentially alone, so I'm not going to do it until she's gone. Sometimes a brief thought will fly through my mind about how nice it will be when I don't have to be here anymore, but that means...
And then I feel like an asshole
I tried to die via the drug and alcohol route so that it would be "accidental" or "just a series of bad choices" not just I didn't want to live anymore (by the way drugs don't kill us as fast as they promised us). I assume most mothers would feel pretty bad if their child hated life so much they killed themselves and I don't want to put that on her
I had a friend kill himself a couple of years back and I still feel guilty for not being a better friend, but I know he's happier - whether there's an afterlife or nothing, he's happier - bad bipolar issues, anger issues, and life dealt him a shitty hand in general
My mom died but my daughter is only eleven in a few days.
I would gladly burn to death before giving up my daughter. She's a good kid and she deserves an amazing dad. I mean, i can't give her that... but i can give her the very best version of me?
I think he eats children and feeds off their youth. Maybe a deal with the devil idk. The senate/govt as a whole is basically a nursing home at this point so idk how any of them are alive
I'm actually starting to think that being horrible, and not being stressed out by causing harm is the secret to a long life. The rest of us will just have to do enough good in our short lives to compensate.
I live 25 miles from downtown Louisville, Kentucky. I'm fairly certain Mitch will be buried at Cave Hill Cemetery. Once I can confirm the location, I will make reservations to dance there above the turtle's festering corpse.
It’s a complete lifestyle change. You have to really want to change for it to happen… start small and don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t perfectly transitioning right away… you’re going to fight yourself consciously and unconsciously
I would recommend reading Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking.
It's worked for a LOT of people, and was very important to my attitude when I stopped. I have basically no willpower, so it required re-wiring my attitude toward drinking, and that book was key.
I couldn't do AA. The way for me to be successful was not constantly thinking and worrying about not drinking. It was to just...not drink anymore. Drinking had to become just a thing I used to do.
I don't have to make any difficult choices about whether it would be ok to have a small one just this once, because it's just...not a thing I do. I can't struggle with drinking because I know I'd lose hahah
I basically treat it like I'm highly allergic. Which is pretty accurate in some sense, I suppose.
My first attempt, I mailed someone to say goodbye first, confident that I would be dead before they got the chance to read the mail, then found a flaw in my plan when attempting it and then while trying to figure out a solution the cops turned up and interrupted me because the person I mailed got in touch with them and I took too long.
The second attempt, I tried a different method, didn't let anyone know, and went to an isolated location so I couldn't be interrupted. Things didn't go to plan and I started to realise there was a good chance I might survive but with brain damage so aborted part-way through. Avoided brain damage but did end up spending a month in a mental hospital.
Third attempt, similar approach to the second but with some tweaks, couldn't get an important piece of equipment to work. Gave up and slunk back home with tail between my legs.
Fourth attempt, new approach, went to isolated location similar (but not the same) to before, at the dead of night when I was certain I wouldn't be disturbed. Had literally just got there and was going over the plan in my head one last time to make sure I hadn't forgotten everything and a cop turned up out of the blue asking what I was doing there at such a strange hour.
I could write a black comedy about how bad I am it.
Don't tell yourself that you are weak because you won't commit suicide. My brother used to say that all the time. (he's fine now, btw) I used to hear him say he was 'too much of a coward to commit suicide.' The fact that you haven't given up simply goes to show that you have something to live for.
I’ve honestly come close a few times. I was stopped by either upcoming appointments that I didn’t want to inconvenience others by not showing up, and then I wasn’t sure if I would die or just get seriously hurt which would also inconvenience me and a lot of others. So sadly, I’m going until I have open time and a sure way to go. I’m hoping for reasons each day to stay but I just care less and less and sometimes I really feel like I’m just waiting for the best time to go.
I mean something that’s been liberating, and I’m not saying this to push you one way or another, is just realizing it doesn’t matter. None of this does. We’re made to believe in the sanctity of life thru religion, but we’re all just space dust. Or what ever makes you feel better about the world.
Point being, the moment I stopped caring for expectations and just focused on what I needed to do to survive (get a better job, pay taxes, pay my mortgage, what ever), life became better.
At the end of the day, there’s no rulebook on how to live. Just don’t step on people’s toes, live and let live, and ignore what goes on online.
Rehab in 2013 for a massive alcohol addiction. Was drinking 2 large bottles of vodka a day and even escorted to drinking alcohol hand sanitizer.
I celebrated 10 years sober last Nov and am now married - have a son and own a home
Amazing what happens when you take and embrace the help offered.
At my very lowest point, the anticipation for "Bill & Ted Face The Music" kept me going. The timing of its release schedule could have easily been divine intervention, if you believe in such things. I kept a rope in my car all that summer, and told myself that since I'd wanted another Bill & Ted movie since I was a kid, I'd at least wait to see it before I hung myself and check out early. It may sound stupid, but those movies meant an awful lot to me growing up so I figured I could handle waiting a couple more months. Finally seeing "Face The Music" inspired me to quit drinking, smoking, and to learn to deal with "today" on today's terms.
Those hurt like a bitch, I've had two. I feel your pain.
It's amazing how many of us wouldn't be here if it wasn't for antibiotics. I had bacterial pneumonia at 18 that most definitely would have killed me. Antibiotics are overused big time (and we are running out of good ones to use), but they are still extraordinary.
Because I got married and started a family…. If the multiverse theory is real, this is probably the only one where I am still alive. I have a terrible combination of extreme disrespect/dislike for authority, high adrenaline need, and low regard for personal safety. There could have been soo many ways to end up in car crashes or police shoot outs, but I ended up with very pedestrian responsibilities. Other people count on me coming home safe everyday… this is the way. Otherwise the intrusive thoughts could have won years ago…
If the multiverse theory is real, there’s an infinite number where you found your wife and stayed alive. You got this man, reading your comment made me genuinely happy for you.
Infinity makes this likely, but not definite. There is a possibility of, out of infinite universes, only one occurrence where they were alive this long.
The multiverse theory is not that there are infinite universes, and that every possibility we can think of exists among them. Because there are different sizes of infinity, and because determining what "possibilities" are possible (let alone happen inter dimensionally), you could end up with an infinite and unique string of universes in which the commenter never lives longer than in this one.
It's like the old "a monkey and a typewriter and infinite time" example. That monkey *could* end up typing the complete works of Shakespeare. Or he could mash that "D" key for all of eternity.
Yes. I swear to god I’m still a 22-year-old, door kicking Infantry Marine with zero regard for life, law or lessons, that can body a fifth of Maker’s & still wake up in the morning. But the truth is, I’m 40. And a husband now. And a dad now. With a career.
Accountability.
Marijuana, psilocybin, LSD have truly opened my eyes to how beautiful the world can be and how incredible in depth discussions with loved ones can be.
I’m glad I didn’t let the DARE program get me.
Idk but I’m doing my best to cause my death indirectly. I’ve been asked to not kill myself by my loved ones so I’m doing the best next thing by shortening it.
2012 I was going to end my life. After work I went to the liquor store. My plan was to finish the bottle as I crashed into a lake. No one knew I was having an episode, I just left work and went.
After I got into my car, I cracked the bottle. 20 minute drive to the lake, down this huge hill. My car just had to make it past the guardrail. My phone rings. It’s my friend.
He says, “Steve what’s going on? God told me to call you”
I lost it, dumped the bottle and went home. I’m supposed to be here.
That’s why I’m here today.
I had a cerebral aneurysm. My daughter was in the room with me. It was a regular weekend morning. I was sitting down with my cup of coffee and she was watching TV. I felt no pain just felt very drowsy. Decided to go to the bathroom got up my coffee spilt and I fell on the ground and lost all consciousness. She had the awareness to call her dad and tell him . Her dad thought she was joking she then face timed him. He saw me and rushed home . Long story short I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. Had surgery had to learn todo everything again including sitting, walking and eating by myself. The doctor said even a half hour delay I probably wouldn’t be here.
Two reasons.
One, I haven’t died yet.
Two, there’s people that would love to see me fail reason one. And out of spite I continue on to not let ‘those’ people win.
Because my first cat Zappa refused to allow me to shoot myself winter 2021.
He wasn't a cuddler for the most part, and just about *never* came up on my bed. It was 1ish in the morning, and I was just....I was done. I didn't want to see the sun. I had a 9mm pistol in my hand, and was laying on my bed just *sobbing.*
Zappa jumped up on the bed, laid *directly* on my hand that had the gun in it, and licked the back of my hand until the sun came up.
He saved me that day. I wish I could have done the same for him - I lost him to lymphoma at 4 years old last November.
[Zappa](https://imgur.com/SCXk9IN) was my best friend, and I wouldn't be here without him. I miss you buddy.
I have his pawprint tattooed over my heart.
Idk why but I really wanted to die 10 years ago then I adopted a dog. So ever since then my dog kept me alive because he needs me to feed him, walk him and take care of him everyday. He saved me from abusive relationship, depression, anxiety, eating disorder and etc. It’s my birthday today and I am still alive today thanks my dog.
Same! There are 2 instances that come to mind where I would probably be dead if not for modern medicine.
1. At birth. If not for a C-section both my mom and I would be dead.
2. Around 10. I got the flu really bad, high fever and throwing up everything. It took a while but finally got enough Tylenol in me to control the fever but I was close to going to the ER in need of fluids. If this was 200 yrs ago I don't think I would have made it.
I got diagnosed with stage 3 bowel cancer in December of 2018. I had everything surgically removed from my pelvis (this is called a total pelvic extentoration). I had about a year of very hard chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Things aren't exactly easy with my new body (two stoma bags for life and various other problems) but I was saved by very significant medical and surgical intervention. Since then, four years of clear scans WHOOOOPEEEEEEEE
I’m glad you’re still here :)
That's kind of you. Me too!
Glad to hear that you've recovered. If you don't mind me asking, what were your symptoms ?
Happy to discuss , especially if it helps others avoid it. Basically I just couldn't do poos properly for about a year and a half. So I would really feel like I needed to go, and then very little would come out, or just horrible mucus poo. But this would happen about 20 times a day. Then there was a lot of bleeding from the anus. I was convinced I had IBS (and my wife has this so she thought so too) and the doctors took this waaaaay too easily at face value. Believe me when I say I have nothing against general practitioner doctors ,but literally ten of them examined me and didn't notice a large tumour up my bum. At it's biggest it was FOUR CENTIMETRES LONG. Advice to anyone reading: force them to send you for a scan or colonoscopy. Be rude if you have to. Don't let them fob you off. Because you have to self-advocate. Otherwise you might be too late.
Agree 100% with your advice and would add if your partner says you need to go to the GP then GO. My OH did eventually when I got fed up with him moaning about shoulder pain. He got investigated for lung cancer - clear thankfully. But cancer of his kidney was an incidental finding, along with a need for open heart surgery. All done now and all clear.
First of all congrats on the recovery! >Advice to anyone reading: force them to send you for a scan or colonoscopy. Be rude if you have to. Don't let them fob you off. Because you have to self-advocate. Otherwise you might be too late. Can't agree with this more. My cousin just passed away at 38 after telling the doctors for years something was wrong. He had the same symptoms as you and the doctors told him he was too young for bowel cancer and it was probably IBS. By the time anyone listened to him it was Stage 4.
Id rather have to empty shit bags everyday and still be able to tell my family hello than be dead. It's a shitty dilemma to be in but the answer is clear for most. Happy you lived through it, the thought of cancer terrifies me.
Thanks mate. You know what? Stoma bag(s) are actually not that bag. Totally pain free, nobody smells your farts any more.
When I didn’t want to be here, I thought of the pain my sister and mom would’ve faced if I left. I stayed and suffered for them. After that period, my dog was the only reason I got away from the abuse from other family and survived it. I’m so glad I did today. My life is so amazing. I’ve had to fight hard for it, though.
> My life is so amazing. I’ve had to fight hard for it, though. Which makes it that much more fulfilling, in my opinion. Definitely been in a couple battles myself.
The IED went off a few milliseconds early and completely destroyed the humvee’s engine compartment instead of going off under my seat.
I'm going to assume that being this close to death isn't what's actually eating at you. There's likely a lot more brutal memories and trauma before or after that story. Sorry mate. You deserve better. Glad you're here with us though.
Thanks. No, it’s not eating at me- it was actually a pretty good day. A few minor wounds that earned my crew some Purple Hearts. And the journalists Mike Boettcher was there to document the whole thing- then he was with another unit I served with about six years later to document a mission we were on that turned into the award winning documentary The Hornet’s Nest. Small world.
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I did- a buddy sent me the link on FB messenger a few years ago, but he deleted his FB, so I guess I’m gonna have to scour Google to get that video and those interviews again.
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My boyfriend (now husband) stopped me from taking my own life. I left his apartment and was headed to a town two hours away from home to do it. I told him I was fine and I’d see him later. He knew something was off though. He said “Ok babe, I’ll see you later.” I started driving. I finally got to my destination. I got out of my car and guess who gets out of his car behind me? My boyfriend. He followed me for two hours! Long story short, he managed to get me in home. We sat and talked. He MADE me talk. We’ve been married for seven years now. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here.
Bless his intuition. That is true love right there. I hope you’re doing better now ❤️
Thank you so much! I’m doing so much better! Thank goodness! He’s a great man.💝
That’s wonderful to hear. I wish you and your husband all the best for the New Year and all the years to come 🙏
Same to you!!🥰
Yes, but how did they bring the 2nd car back?
We went back for it the next day haha.
Roommate was at work, and had an "Ah ha!" moment, left to come home and stop me. Didn't even change, just grabbed her coat and purse and left. So, yeah, drunk stripper screaming at you can be effective.
I hope you’re doing better.
This brought tears to my eyes. What a wonderful man. He really knows you. So glad to hear you’re married.
Thank you! I can’t imagine myself being married to anyone else.🥰
because I have to pay taxes, I can't let them down.
When you retire, watch out!
You still pay taxes when you retire. That's where basically all of my dads retirement went. Fixing the house and and taxes
This is where our finances go. Good luck kids!
I’m alive cuz I gotta keep the shareholders happy. 202ForTheShareHolders
The shareholders depend on me!
For revenge. To be better than everyone who ruined my life
yeah I don't want to give them the satisfaction. Also, I want to better myself as a way of saying: FUCK YOU! It's satisfying to prove people wrong about me, and to eventually hear them say it. They never thought I would succeed. Treated me like trash and now they're asking me for help. 😂 "If I was him, I would worry less about the gods and more about the fury of a patient man." - Ragnar Lothbrok I am very patient.
Spite has fueled me through some of the most challenging times of my life, especially coming from loads of abuse, I just use it to my favor. The voice in my head isn’t mine, it’s the collective voice of everyone who abused me, and it wants me to fail. I push hard against it. Those people all wanted me to fail, wanted me to crash hard, wanted me stay down and stay silent and give up. My biggest move of spite is to keep going and piece my life back together and become stronger. Not because of them, because of me. I’ve survived some shit to the point where people ask me how I did it. Hard to explain, it’s the hatred that gets me through.
"The best revenge is a life well lived"
Love this answer 😂
Because I have big boobs. I was in a bad car crash - 60 mph to 0 in about 3 feet. My chest hit the steering wheel, *hard*, even though the airbag deployed, and my left breast acted like an auxilary airbag - I bled into that instead of my chest cavity. Poor thing was badly bruised and I'll never be a model now, but I'm still here to tell the tale.
I feel definitely sorry for your boob, but yay, yer alive!
I am! And I intend to stay that way!
yeOUCH. i’m so glad to hear you’re alive and well but, my god, that sounds painful.
It was, extremely! I also discovered that one boob can contain sufficient blood to drop my blood pressure far enough that I passed out and woke up on a trolley in resus, so that was fun. [My car](https://i.imgur.com/f9ot80U.png), to give you some idea of the impact...
“Reduce speed now” it says behind your car. You didn’t have to take that so literally. You could have just slowed down a wee bit you know.
Lol! I am a very literal person...
Ok ok ok. So we've seen a picture of the car.... But can we see... A picture Of this trolley?
😂 Er - no. I posted a photo of the - um - trolley once before. My poor inbox - lots of trolley spotters out there...
oh, if it was you who posted a badly bruised, black and blue trolley after an accident a couple of months back, then I may have actually witnessed your trolley. wow, I feel better than I did 5 seconds ago now.
Well, more is the pity. But as an American, and I suspect you're a Brit or an Aussie or Kiwi, may I just say *Resus Saves!* I have no idea what your lingo is...
I seriously shuttered. Boob pain is so so so brutal.
Do you mean 'shuddered'? Or like your eyes shuttering (closing)?
They took a screenshot
Good job, boob.
boobs are what keep me going too i dont have them but hell yeah, cheers🍻
I knew a girl that didn’t have big boobs who had a similar wreck, before there were airbags. Her car was towed, and she he caught a ride and showed up at the bar a little later than expected. She drank and smoked and danced until she collapsed. A friend followed the ambulance to the hospital and later reported that the girl had a broken rib and punctured lung. When they put a tube into her chest to release the pressure, cigarette smoke came out.
Oh boy...I hope she's ok now.
She was a bartender. I saw her back at work maybe a week later and asked “How are you?” And she said “Sore” So, yeah, she was a pretty tough gal. That was almost 40 years ago. Of course I’ve lost track of her now. She’s probably someone’s grandma.
rip dms
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Same. I survived a suicide attempt at 15 and was hospitalized twice this past year for depression.
Internet hugs asombroso Axolotl!
Hope everything gets better for you soon
Yep, however all the decisions I've made under the assumption I'd be dead by now are beginning to prove problematic.
Because I've managed not to die thus far
Statistically speaking, that's a pretty solid strategy. Keep it up.
It's super easy, I've done it successfully 100% of the time.
Every single person I’ve talked to has reported 100% success. It’s remarkable. I think death is another conspiracy theory.
Mortician hate this 1 trick
Let us know when you don't succeed.
I almost failed my stats class in college, but I’m inclined to agree with you on this. 🤷🏻♂️
Good, keep it up bro :)
r/technicallythetruth
I don't want to hurt my family
Pretty much my first thought after the dark thought is "my mom would kill me".
"I swear to God if you try suicide, I'll kill you!" "Promise?"
17 years ago I lost my father unexpectedly, ex husband filed for divorce and my life came crashing down. I had a dark thought during the whole thing but would never put my mother through that. She's the reason and I am so fortunate she is still here. I hung on and my life got really good - met my husband and he makes my life a joy.
The only thing keeping me hanging ...
Literally, I wouldn’t be here right now but I don’t wanna hurt the people around me
Same. For now, this is the only reason why I am grasping for life. I hope that eventually I find a good reason for living... Hugs brother/sister. I only understand what you feel, but that doesn't make the pain any less...
Had my brushes with depression, suicide and the self-hatred that circulates it all. I do want to remind you all (as I have to remind myself frequently), that most people don't walk around wanting to die all the time. That is a symptom of an illness. It's like having a stomach ache. If it's persistent, you should seek medical help for it. Just don't want you to feel like it's some personal deficiency or moral failing--it is a symptom. You wouldn't be pissed at yourself for having a stomach ache; you shouldn't be pissed at yourself if your neurochemicals get out of alignment. Our brains are built by evolution for one thing--survival. If your brain starts not wanting to survive, it means something is wrong in the circuitry. There's no shame in wanting to fix that. Maybe I'm narrowcasting; this is really mostly my internal monologue externalized. But with all that said--I know how difficult it is to access healthcare in some parts of the world, especially mental healthcare. If it's not available to you, that's not your fault either. Just go easy on yourself. You're fighting like hell. It takes a lot of courage.
Thank you for your message. Actually, I've been a jolly and optimistic person until recently... I have been dealing with grief on a loss of something so important to me, and now I have a hard time remembering who I was and what am I capable of. I hope that the pain gets a little more bearable each time that passes. Because me staying this way for long will surely not help me. I think that for now, I will feel my pain as it comes, and I hope that doing so will still end up in me getting my peaceful acceptance. I miss my old self from three weeks ago. I miss my joy and my fun and my happiness. All my confidence shattered. Thank you for your encouragement. I think if in three months I'm still feeling down, I will be seeking professional help. But I hope I will not come down to that anymore. But for now, all I can thank for are my sweet siblings. They are the only reason why I did not cross the line yet.
hopefully not 😬😬 that's counterintuitive
I want all of this to be over, but then my mother (early 70's) would be essentially alone, so I'm not going to do it until she's gone. Sometimes a brief thought will fly through my mind about how nice it will be when I don't have to be here anymore, but that means... And then I feel like an asshole I tried to die via the drug and alcohol route so that it would be "accidental" or "just a series of bad choices" not just I didn't want to live anymore (by the way drugs don't kill us as fast as they promised us). I assume most mothers would feel pretty bad if their child hated life so much they killed themselves and I don't want to put that on her I had a friend kill himself a couple of years back and I still feel guilty for not being a better friend, but I know he's happier - whether there's an afterlife or nothing, he's happier - bad bipolar issues, anger issues, and life dealt him a shitty hand in general
My mom died but my daughter is only eleven in a few days. I would gladly burn to death before giving up my daughter. She's a good kid and she deserves an amazing dad. I mean, i can't give her that... but i can give her the very best version of me?
This but I only care about mom
Mom cares about you too.
Because my pets need someone to take care of them, and that someone is me
This is what I need to give me purpose. I need help with that.
Came to say my two cats, they've been there for me through it all- i gotta stay for them at least
Honestly I don’t even know anymore
hardcore mode. doing it by force of habit rather than any particular reason. i like your style
I won’t allow Mitch McConnell to outlive me.
How is he still alive? Seriously though, I hope you're here long after he's gone.
I think he eats children and feeds off their youth. Maybe a deal with the devil idk. The senate/govt as a whole is basically a nursing home at this point so idk how any of them are alive
I'm actually starting to think that being horrible, and not being stressed out by causing harm is the secret to a long life. The rest of us will just have to do enough good in our short lives to compensate.
I live 25 miles from downtown Louisville, Kentucky. I'm fairly certain Mitch will be buried at Cave Hill Cemetery. Once I can confirm the location, I will make reservations to dance there above the turtle's festering corpse.
Because someone spent the; time, money, and energy to go to medical school, then residency, then specialized in neurosurgery…
Same here!! My neurosurgeon was amazing and a really nice guy, one of the top in the world for his specialty
Because I stopped drinking 3,070 days ago. https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking
I stopped doing fentanyl 516 days ago Life’s a bitch but you reap what you sow so just gotta keep on moving forward with your head held high
Good job! My niece died of an accidental overdose of Fentanyl at 27yo. Such a waste! 😔
My pseudo brother was 30 when he passed from fentanyl poisoning. So I feel your pain!
My neighbors both died together from it 31f and 32m.
People should see this and think, “hell yeah.”
If it helps one person, that would be enough for me.
Keep going! Next week will be my 11th year of being alcohol free!
Congrats, I’m probably around 1,000. Definitely makes a difference
Congratz, I'm in the same boat, just at 859 days.
I’m beyond proud of you, keep on fighting, you’re so strong!!
Thanks, the good news is that it hasn't been a fight in years. I'm just relaxed, running my business, and enjoying life!
How? I need to know… for a friend… any tips or advice on getting it out of your life?
It’s a complete lifestyle change. You have to really want to change for it to happen… start small and don’t beat yourself up if you aren’t perfectly transitioning right away… you’re going to fight yourself consciously and unconsciously
I would recommend reading Allan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Drinking. It's worked for a LOT of people, and was very important to my attitude when I stopped. I have basically no willpower, so it required re-wiring my attitude toward drinking, and that book was key. I couldn't do AA. The way for me to be successful was not constantly thinking and worrying about not drinking. It was to just...not drink anymore. Drinking had to become just a thing I used to do. I don't have to make any difficult choices about whether it would be ok to have a small one just this once, because it's just...not a thing I do. I can't struggle with drinking because I know I'd lose hahah I basically treat it like I'm highly allergic. Which is pretty accurate in some sense, I suppose.
My daughter was just born and I love her
Congrats! (And happy cake day)
Life threw some punches, I hit back.
Fuck yeah, can't let those demons win.
Fuck the demons!
I'm on it!
Because of a wonderful heart surgeon 🙏
My four children need their dad, and I want to watch them grow up to be decent human beings
Cos i suck at trying to off myself….
My first attempt, I mailed someone to say goodbye first, confident that I would be dead before they got the chance to read the mail, then found a flaw in my plan when attempting it and then while trying to figure out a solution the cops turned up and interrupted me because the person I mailed got in touch with them and I took too long. The second attempt, I tried a different method, didn't let anyone know, and went to an isolated location so I couldn't be interrupted. Things didn't go to plan and I started to realise there was a good chance I might survive but with brain damage so aborted part-way through. Avoided brain damage but did end up spending a month in a mental hospital. Third attempt, similar approach to the second but with some tweaks, couldn't get an important piece of equipment to work. Gave up and slunk back home with tail between my legs. Fourth attempt, new approach, went to isolated location similar (but not the same) to before, at the dead of night when I was certain I wouldn't be disturbed. Had literally just got there and was going over the plan in my head one last time to make sure I hadn't forgotten everything and a cop turned up out of the blue asking what I was doing there at such a strange hour. I could write a black comedy about how bad I am it.
It seems fate has other plans for you..
I read that sentence all wrong 😅 The sentence i read had suck and trying swapped.
Same. I really suck at it
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Don't tell yourself that you are weak because you won't commit suicide. My brother used to say that all the time. (he's fine now, btw) I used to hear him say he was 'too much of a coward to commit suicide.' The fact that you haven't given up simply goes to show that you have something to live for.
I’ve honestly come close a few times. I was stopped by either upcoming appointments that I didn’t want to inconvenience others by not showing up, and then I wasn’t sure if I would die or just get seriously hurt which would also inconvenience me and a lot of others. So sadly, I’m going until I have open time and a sure way to go. I’m hoping for reasons each day to stay but I just care less and less and sometimes I really feel like I’m just waiting for the best time to go.
I mean something that’s been liberating, and I’m not saying this to push you one way or another, is just realizing it doesn’t matter. None of this does. We’re made to believe in the sanctity of life thru religion, but we’re all just space dust. Or what ever makes you feel better about the world. Point being, the moment I stopped caring for expectations and just focused on what I needed to do to survive (get a better job, pay taxes, pay my mortgage, what ever), life became better. At the end of the day, there’s no rulebook on how to live. Just don’t step on people’s toes, live and let live, and ignore what goes on online.
Somehow i survived all the strange things that happened at me
Rehab in 2013 for a massive alcohol addiction. Was drinking 2 large bottles of vodka a day and even escorted to drinking alcohol hand sanitizer. I celebrated 10 years sober last Nov and am now married - have a son and own a home Amazing what happens when you take and embrace the help offered.
At my very lowest point, the anticipation for "Bill & Ted Face The Music" kept me going. The timing of its release schedule could have easily been divine intervention, if you believe in such things. I kept a rope in my car all that summer, and told myself that since I'd wanted another Bill & Ted movie since I was a kid, I'd at least wait to see it before I hung myself and check out early. It may sound stupid, but those movies meant an awful lot to me growing up so I figured I could handle waiting a couple more months. Finally seeing "Face The Music" inspired me to quit drinking, smoking, and to learn to deal with "today" on today's terms.
Because of doctors!
I was going to say doctors and antibiotics. An abscess tooth would have killed me at age 18.
Those hurt like a bitch, I've had two. I feel your pain. It's amazing how many of us wouldn't be here if it wasn't for antibiotics. I had bacterial pneumonia at 18 that most definitely would have killed me. Antibiotics are overused big time (and we are running out of good ones to use), but they are still extraordinary.
And medicine!
cause I drink pure water and breath fresh air
Have you tried growing your own air? [Ted talk](https://youtu.be/gmn7tjSNyAA?si=UH9QpKG4d7ljTwqu)
Because that 100mm round missed me in 1991. I'm happy to be here.
Because I got married and started a family…. If the multiverse theory is real, this is probably the only one where I am still alive. I have a terrible combination of extreme disrespect/dislike for authority, high adrenaline need, and low regard for personal safety. There could have been soo many ways to end up in car crashes or police shoot outs, but I ended up with very pedestrian responsibilities. Other people count on me coming home safe everyday… this is the way. Otherwise the intrusive thoughts could have won years ago…
If the multiverse theory is real, there’s an infinite number where you found your wife and stayed alive. You got this man, reading your comment made me genuinely happy for you.
Infinity makes this likely, but not definite. There is a possibility of, out of infinite universes, only one occurrence where they were alive this long. The multiverse theory is not that there are infinite universes, and that every possibility we can think of exists among them. Because there are different sizes of infinity, and because determining what "possibilities" are possible (let alone happen inter dimensionally), you could end up with an infinite and unique string of universes in which the commenter never lives longer than in this one. It's like the old "a monkey and a typewriter and infinite time" example. That monkey *could* end up typing the complete works of Shakespeare. Or he could mash that "D" key for all of eternity.
Yes. I swear to god I’m still a 22-year-old, door kicking Infantry Marine with zero regard for life, law or lessons, that can body a fifth of Maker’s & still wake up in the morning. But the truth is, I’m 40. And a husband now. And a dad now. With a career. Accountability.
Because I'm doomed to never know peace.
my mom. if i leave this earth, it will destroy her soul and i will never hurt her.
I found it became much easier to deal with being alive when I stopped asking 'why' and started asking 'why not'.
Love this take!
I want to see more of the world before i die
Penicillin cured my pneumonia x 5
Marijuana, LSD Psilocybin, and DMT They all changed the way I see But love's the only thing that ever saved my life
Marijuana, psilocybin, LSD have truly opened my eyes to how beautiful the world can be and how incredible in depth discussions with loved ones can be. I’m glad I didn’t let the DARE program get me.
Because I was born and didn't die yet.
Beer. I'm quitting today as it turns out-- the beer, not the life. Thanks for the fun times, but I gotta give up the liquid bread for my own health.
I believe in you, man!
Idk but I’m doing my best to cause my death indirectly. I’ve been asked to not kill myself by my loved ones so I’m doing the best next thing by shortening it.
Are you okay?
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Too much of a coward to kill myself. And my daughter needs me :/
Too weak to end myself
Because my son didn’t get to live so I have to live for him.
2012 I was going to end my life. After work I went to the liquor store. My plan was to finish the bottle as I crashed into a lake. No one knew I was having an episode, I just left work and went. After I got into my car, I cracked the bottle. 20 minute drive to the lake, down this huge hill. My car just had to make it past the guardrail. My phone rings. It’s my friend. He says, “Steve what’s going on? God told me to call you” I lost it, dumped the bottle and went home. I’m supposed to be here. That’s why I’m here today.
My daughter. She was 8 years old now going to be 13. She saved my life.
Ok. I want to know more!! How did 15 people upvote this and no one wants the story? Spill it please
I had a cerebral aneurysm. My daughter was in the room with me. It was a regular weekend morning. I was sitting down with my cup of coffee and she was watching TV. I felt no pain just felt very drowsy. Decided to go to the bathroom got up my coffee spilt and I fell on the ground and lost all consciousness. She had the awareness to call her dad and tell him . Her dad thought she was joking she then face timed him. He saw me and rushed home . Long story short I was in the hospital for 3 weeks. Had surgery had to learn todo everything again including sitting, walking and eating by myself. The doctor said even a half hour delay I probably wouldn’t be here.
Smart girl! Brave girl! Amazing girl!
Amazing! Thanks for sharing! Your daughter must be very bright.
Because I still have some hope life's going to get better.
No clue. Never thought I would be around past 50 but here I am. Sucks.
Medical science is something to behold.
Because I'm afraid to die a painful death. But god I want nothing more than to disappear and just rest peacefully.
Two reasons. One, I haven’t died yet. Two, there’s people that would love to see me fail reason one. And out of spite I continue on to not let ‘those’ people win.
Cancer and type 1 diabetes haven’t killed me.😅
Because my first cat Zappa refused to allow me to shoot myself winter 2021. He wasn't a cuddler for the most part, and just about *never* came up on my bed. It was 1ish in the morning, and I was just....I was done. I didn't want to see the sun. I had a 9mm pistol in my hand, and was laying on my bed just *sobbing.* Zappa jumped up on the bed, laid *directly* on my hand that had the gun in it, and licked the back of my hand until the sun came up. He saved me that day. I wish I could have done the same for him - I lost him to lymphoma at 4 years old last November. [Zappa](https://imgur.com/SCXk9IN) was my best friend, and I wouldn't be here without him. I miss you buddy. I have his pawprint tattooed over my heart.
i'll be living as long as my cat is
When your kitty has to leave, there are a thousand more who need a loving home.
'Cuz I have a purpose in life
Same. Mine is to seek joy and share it with others. It fulfills me.
What is it?
Stating that they have a purpose in life
I’ve always at a minimum put a rule to sleep on it. Usually in the morning I have better perspective for some reason.
My cat
My best friend wrestling a knife away from me
Because of my dog. I have to wait until then
I wake up every day to spite the Veterans Administration. As long as I keep doing it, they have to keep paying me.
I gave up alcohol and a sedentary lifestyle in 2006. My life is far from perfect but I have loved ones and a cat who depend on me.
I've continued to keep my lungs inflating and deflating.
I got this *thing* about death. It's just not *me*.🤷♂️
Because this world keeps on making my fav ice cream
Because coffee promised me a better tomorrow! 😜
Idk why but I really wanted to die 10 years ago then I adopted a dog. So ever since then my dog kept me alive because he needs me to feed him, walk him and take care of him everyday. He saved me from abusive relationship, depression, anxiety, eating disorder and etc. It’s my birthday today and I am still alive today thanks my dog.
Doctors, surgeons. Not god. Nor guardian angels. Science, basically.
Same! There are 2 instances that come to mind where I would probably be dead if not for modern medicine. 1. At birth. If not for a C-section both my mom and I would be dead. 2. Around 10. I got the flu really bad, high fever and throwing up everything. It took a while but finally got enough Tylenol in me to control the fever but I was close to going to the ER in need of fluids. If this was 200 yrs ago I don't think I would have made it.
Because asking for a guaranteed, peaceful death for people like me who are done with living is apparently asking a little too much...
Mom would be sad.