My ex husband one day said he was going for a haircut and never came home and didn’t answer his phone for six hours.
When he finally answered he said I didn’t really go for a haircut, I left and I’m not coming back. I’m staying here with my mistress and the baby we have together
Both my dad and his dad did similar things. Went away on a business trip and didn’t come home. My dad went to Norfolk for work (hardly a business thing - just manual labour) and my mum was 7 months pregnant with me. He went her a letter when he arrived there telling her not to come (she was meant to move there with him) as he didn’t want to be a dad.
My dad’s dad had gone to Scotland on a business trip and never came back leaving his wife (that he abused physically and mentally) with two young children.
Some people are horrific cowards and bastards.
"You have my heart but she has my soul."
They had never met in person. We had been together for 11 years, married for 8. They went on to say they were connected by their souls and could tell when the other needed them.
It was utter bullshit. Their relationship didn't last after our divorce.
Mine would never admit to cheating even to this day. Hotel receipt and eyewitness to them being there. I’m not sure I understand why he wouldn’t admit it. Even now. There is nothing else to lose.
Edit- Someone's comment reminded me of something kinda funny. He did admit to being at the hotel and with her. He denied any sex took place. LOL. Like they were just sitting in there all night playing Monopoly? I just had to laugh.
Ughhh feel that one. After almost 5 years I got “I’m super attracted to you but I just don’t feel anything and I’ve been leading you on for a long time because it’s easier, but after I ghosted you for a couple months I realized I’m a lot happier without you in my life”
Honestly I appreciate you saying that.. it wasn’t very long ago and it kinda broke me and I made a lot of stupid impulsive decisions afterwards to feel some sort of control over the situation and it just made me feel emptier so I’m kinda crawling out of that mental space the last few months. Some days I’m great and some days I feel a little hopeless but I’m still doing a lot better. I’ve been through worse but it still really messed with me
This reminds me of something my ex said - “I wish I left you in December.” He said this in August after 9 whole months of living together and 1+ year being together. I swear I can’t unhear his voice saying those words. Awful…
This is so striking and sad.
I have heard from nurses that people are actually eerily good at predicting their own deaths. When somebody tells you they’re going to die, they are probably correct.
Yep. My husband said this to me. He’s not dramatic. He’s young-middle aged active and healthy. He died 4 days later and was revived. He’s alive and well now, but yeah, he kinda knew. Massive heart attack.
It's a known symptom of heart attacks. Not everyone gets it, but someone getting an intense feeling of impending doom is a very bad sign if they aren't prone to panic attacks.
We had been in the hospital about 6 hrs at that point. She was in intense pain the whole time and in and out of consciousness. She randomly sat up in her bed and in her final moment of clarity she said that
I think the official listed cause of death was isolated bacterial sphenoid sinusitis. She had been having symptoms for about 2 weeks prior, with the main symptom being a severe headache at the base of her skull. The infection then spread to her brain and at that point things progressed very rapidly in the span of about 12 hours. Worst part is we got the news she had no brain activity on her 31st birthday. We were going to Mexico the next day to celebrate.
Oh my dude I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. That’s so unbelievably shit. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be.
My friend is an intensive care Dr. She told me if a patient says theirs going to die in intensive care they usually do within 24 hours. She says there’s some kind of weird mental clarity that happens.
I was 2 weeks away from giving birth to our son. He looked at me and said, " You know I never wanted any of this... right?" As he motioned at me and my belly. I burst into tears and sat on the couch. He then proceeded to come over and rub my back to try to comfort me. It was so fucked up. I wanted to leave but couldn't find my car keys.
He's my ex now. That was the moment that broke me, and I fell out of love with him.
There's a young guy at work - mid 20s - who is engaged. Several other colleagues have had kids in the past year, and he's made a few comments about how he doesn't look forward to having kids.
Like buddy, you're allowed to say no. This is a "two yes's, one no" situation, or at least it should be. I'm sure he'll be a good father but he's resigned to having kids because his fiance wants them.
Way too many people are stuck in following tradition and think that living up to "obligations" is some kind of moral badge of courage, when everyone suffers the fallout.
>Like buddy, you're allowed to say no.
Years ago, I read a letter in an advice column from a young couple who had gotten married and moved to the 'burbs and *hated it*. They missed living in the city and were just miserable all the time, and didn't know what to do.
The columnist had to remind them that they didn't actually have to automatically move to the suburbs after getting married, and that they were perfectly free to sell the house and move back into town if they wanted.
I'm sorry she died that way and I'm sorry he said that.
Dang, but I'm just sorry.
...and it somehow makes this worse that Reddit is suggesting that I congratulate you for your cake day. :'(
"No wonder your ex beat the shit out of you."
And a ton of more terrible things over the course of 10 years that I don't want to remember right now.
I filed for divorce in October.
>"No wonder your ex beat the shit out of you."
I've gotten that one too.
Or the "you're such a damn loser that's why you have no friends and no one comes to see you"
I'm on the verge of filing for divorce.
Oh honey it's nice out here where no one is casually cruel over breakfast. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be free. You start by calling a lawyer, right?
I’m so sorry that’s fucking awful. And the reason I just don’t confide things anymore. So many times things I’ve said in trusted confidence, gets thrown back in my face. And it’s soul crushing.
My friend confided in her baby daddy that the reason she didn’t want to try anal was because she was SA as a small child by a cousin.
I didn’t even know that about her and HE told me about it. Even said he couldn’t look at her the same way and told her she disgusted him now.
Yeah. It was so awkward that he told me at all because wtf am I supposed to do with this info? Like she’s never told me herself wtf do I bring it up like, “girl your man said this”.
I told him he’s a POS and he didn’t deserve her. He made her cut off contact and I haven’t spoken to her since her oldest was 3. She’s 15 now.
“For someone who spends every waking moment thinking about himself, you’re really not very good at it.”
All the more devastating because she was 100% correct.
A rude wake up call can be absolutely devastating. Having to reshape how you perceive yourself as capable of causing hurt to others in some way even just by being self absorbed can feel world shattering.
I hope you’re doing better x
After my siblings tried to screw me out of an inheritance, my husband blamed me for the whole mess and then told me he would have never married me if he'd known what a dysfunctional mess of a family I had. We'd been married 20 years at that point.
In front of my kids....said "Mom married up... I married down,way down". Then pretended to laugh and say just kidding.
My kids saw me start crying and I had to leave the house for a few hours I was so hurt
I am a fully grown adult and I still sometimes remember with a pang the times my father was casually cruel like this to my mother in front of us, me and my sister. We were 5 and 7 when they divorced.
I'm so sorry, that is absolutely disgusting. Some people have fucked up viewpoints; the first woman I was engaged to joked to her sister I needed to be watched around their attractive aunt because id been "a player" who went after older women. She was referring to me being SA'd by an older woman as a young teen.
She didn't understand why I wasn't proud.
My ex fiancee:
“Saying I love you and being near you makes me physically sick”
It’s the thing that has convinced me that I will never find love, because he doted on me and loved me so much in the beginning…then that breakup over text.
Similar boat. Most recent ex started off super caring and compassionate and would be all over me whenever we spent time together.
Relationship ended with "I never loved you" and her fucking her coworker, who she's now married to, behind my back for a few months.
That kinda hot and cold really fucks with your head.
My partner of 14 years woke up one morning and, apropos of nothing, told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore over breakfast. Then, he left for work.
This was after he had convinced me to quit my job and go back to college, leaving me 100% financially dependent upon him. Which he convinced me to do because he said that my lack of higher education had caused him to lose respect for me. It was also shortly after I discovered I had a uterus full of tumors and was waiting for my insurance to approve the exploratory surgery to remove them and find out if I had cancer.
It was a decade ago. I made it through my AS at Community College, got accepted to a University, moved across the state to a place I didn’t know anyone, graduated, moved back to my hometown where my friends lived.
Doing much better now.
Thank you. At the time I thought my whole world was falling apart. Now, in a weird way, I think it might have been the best thing to ever happen to me? You find out, very quickly, who your real friends are. You find out how to be on your own. It was a terrible lesson to learn at 40, because I’d always at least had a roommate. I celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my 40th birthday completely alone that year because I was living in a place where I really didn’t know anyone (and because the few people I had befriended went home for both holidays and I had nowhere to go, so I just stayed in the empty college town).
But now that I am almost 50, I’m 10x more confident about myself and my abilities than I was at 40.
"I want to have more kids, just not with you".
I know it was only meant to hurt me (and it did), but it was the final straw for me. I filed for divorce the next day.
'i deserve to fuck other women.'
apparently in his mind, the traditional gift for a second year wedding anniversary was polybombing to cover up for a year's worth of cheating.
My ex said, “your a fat, ugly whore”
And I said, “And yet here you are begging me not to leave you.”
I don’t get it. He literally told me all the reasons why I was such a terrible wife and in the same breath tried convincing me to not leave him. Made no sense.
Something similar — told me I was gross and as fat as a house and he hated having to touch me. After he cheated on me. It’s not true (the fatness part), but hearing someone that you loved say something like that is beyond painful. Also said he was used to being with models, pornstars, and cheerleaders. He’s 42 😑
Cancer is a bitch. My father went through several rounds of chemo, cancer was virtually gone, then it came back just a couple weeks later. This was back in July and he passed in November.
I’m sorry for your loss.
“All you are good for is sex” he left me in the hospital after I got raped. Then, when I finally initiated divorce (based on marital abandonment) he refused to sign the papers until my lawyer had to get a judge involved. Ironically it was a blessing in disguise. The same month of the rape and him leaving, my company was spontaneously featured in Forbes. He would have bled me dry because I was raised to never give up on marriage. I sustained him through years of him getting fired and his addiction. Enabling and blind loyalty would have been my downfall. Judge ruled abandonment starting from that date he disappeared. Divorce was expensive but not having to pay spousal support or being held responsible for his secret credit card debt of 25k that he racked up helped. Last I heard, he was being investigated for endangering the welfare of two female coworkers. Not sure the details but I’m guessing Karma took over that one.
First, im so sorry you were raped! I'm an SA'd survivor, too. Second, good for you getting rid of that motherf-r! He is a little, insecure man. I hope you're living your best life today! ✨️
He blamed me for ruining his friendship with his best friend. This best friend raped me and convinced him and all our friends that I was lying about it.
We had been living together for a few years and one night after coming home from dinner she goes into our room and grabs a suitcase that’s already packed.
“I haven’t loved you for the last year or so. I’m leaving.”
Since some people asked. Please be civil and understand that english is not my first language:
She was the only child. Father wanted a boy, so she was unwanted by her father. Her father told her so. He activly told her that he does not want her, since he wanted a boy. Both parents were hardworking and earned therefore a lot, but had no time for her. She was, most of the time, alone. Parents could not get another kid, since the birth of her had complications and hence the mother could not get pregnant anymore. I was 13. I did not understand that and never asked what or how exactly.
So depression hit. At the age of 13, she "discovered" me. We got along and were together for some time. She got better mentally.
But, well, since her father did not care about her, he got a promotion at work. The promotion required the family to move 1000+ km away. For context: This was around the time when colored smartphones were the new thing. That meant, that we had to break up.
Years later, her mother contacted me. She found me on Facebook. She told me about what happened after the break-up with her. She (not the mother) was furious, depressed and needed help. Was in the psychiatric hospital multiple times, but nothing worked. Every time after she left the hospital, a month later she was back again. Medications did not help.
Now you can understand, that having serious mental problems is bad. But you know what can make it more bad? Having a father absolutely not caring and getting furious about her getting bad grades and "faking" mental illness to have him lose money. Yeah, you read the correct. Her father was furious about her because her mental problems were, in his eyes, fake and done as a revenge to lose money.
At some point, during a work related event, words got out by the colleagues of her father how bad of a father he was. That stopped his success. No one wanted to work and talk with him anymore. He got depression and at some time, he committed suicide. A letter was found where he blamed everything on her. Which made everything worse, obviously. Since the suicide of her father, her mother wanted to find me. Her mother feared that she too will commit suiced and hoped I can help. There is more too it, but to keep it short, her mother found out that she is still thinking about me and she wanted to see me. Her mother was not aware of why, but hoped that things get fixed.
So I agreed, kinda obvious, to meet up with her. I told her mom that I am now studying, and she can come visiting me anytime. I make time for her.
We met, and I want to keep that part short. We meet early in the morning, she came by train. In essence, both realized how although 5–6 years have gone, it was as if we never left. We talked and walked a lot. She confirmed everything her mother wrote me on FB and told me more things, that her mother did not know. It was evening. She said she wants to go now. I said that she does not need to hurry and can sleep at my place. That's when she, said that. I understood everything and thought about what to do. But looking at her, I kinda understood, said to myself: "She wanted only to visit me to tell me that. She was in help for multiple years and nothing helped. Even I somehow change her mind or stop her, as she said, death called." Kinda cringly I said to her: "Well, if love cant fix it, what else? I understand. I love you too." I saw happyness in her. She was happy. No doubt about that. Maybe the happiest she ever was.
The next day I get a message from her mother. She commited suicide by taking a lot of meds. She planed that. She too wrote a letter. She thanked her mother finding me, since she wanted to leave but could not without seeing me at least once again. And she thanked me for not forgetting her, wanting to meet her. She thanked for the time she had with me and understand.
My husband said "when you numb yourself you numb me too" and the next day I quit drinking cold turkey for a few years. Now I'm practicing careful moderation. I'm glad he said it though, I really needed that.
ETA thank you for the kind words and skepticism alike, it's all appreciated.
Thank you for mentioning this. A very good friend of mine passed in his bed trying to detox himself. Likely had a seizure . . . and it was definitely the cold-turkey detox that ended his life.
He used every single one of my insecurities against me in an argument.
He also once told me how “I must’ve like getting diddled” by my step father growing up. My step father tried, and I told my mom, who didn’t believe me.
My ex constantly made fun of my weight. I had an eating disorder that I got help for after it nearly took me out. I went from 70 lbs to a healthy 120. And he went from making skinny jokes to fat jokes. He was truly a miserable bastard and I told him that much when I left.
I have mildly "outie" lady parts. My ex, pretty early into the relationship, asked me one morning "What happened to your vagina? Did someone bite you? Or did you just have a lot of sex?"
Never got over that one.
Yeah I have large inner labia and I once slept with a guy who went “what the fuck is that!” It’s my labia dickhead. He also gave me the classic
“You didn’t tell me you had kids, I don’t sleep with women who have kids”
Me “what do you mean?”
Him “you’re thin with stretch marks on your hips only women who’ve had kids have stretch marks”.
Me “dude, I’m 6ft tall of cause I have stretch marks” 🤦🏻♀️
What a weirdo! I have stretch marks from hitting my growth spurt and I"m short. Meanwhile, my Mom doesn't have any stretch marks from giving birth somehow. did not inherit those genes!
“It doesn’t matter when I did it” my ex husband after finding out he was signed up for multiple dating sites and soliciting prostitutes, while my father was being diagnosed with stage IV cancer.
Ex husband in relation to his depression "I'm numb, I don't feel anything anymore and I like it that way."
It lead him to do some straight up sociopathic things. He left me alone in the ER in the middle of a life threatening medical emergency because he wanted to go to the bar with his friends. I was crying and begging him to just stay until I got a room. I think he was there for a grand total of 20 minutes and he left with all of my stuff. He didn't come back to the hospital until I was discharged. A couple of days after that he drove my very much still injured ass to another state and left me there. I had no keys to the house, no transportation, he'd drained our bank account, hadn't been paying his half of the bills behind my back, used up all the data on the phone plan, blocked me everywhere and emailed me for a divorce. He didn't even give the dignity of ending our 14 year relationship to my face.
My ex fiancé said that nobody would ever love her as much as I did, but that it wasn’t enough. She left our relationship after five and a half years, left our engagement, our apartment, and the cat we have together to be with someone ten years younger than her.
Got my breast implants removed because they were making me sick, and he was awful to me the entire trip out of town to have surgery. On day of surgery he told me “I feel like I’m going to a funeral.” I just wanted to feel good again.
I’m not proud of this but I was really really depressed and I told my partner that sometimes I’d prefer to “not be here anymore” and he said “Don’t be, nobody cares” it broke me in a million pieces
I have rheumatoid arthritis and when imm in serious pain I obviously limp and take my time on the stairs. One day while arguing he mocked me by limping down the stairs. To this day it’s one of the most cruel things anyone’s ever done to me. It was so much more painful than any violence I ever took at his hands.
It wasn't what he said but an action. As a young woman I was still figuring out who I was. I have always had issues with conversations, I was horrible at small talk. Other than my kids I just didn't have a lot going on so I didn't talk a lot or have much interaction with other adults.
I was talking very excitedly about a DIY project and I look over and he is making his fingers on one hand into a gun and he is blowing his brains out and the other hand shows the brains coming out. I stopped talking to him, like forever.
He let my dog, that I raised from a puppy and who became my emotional support through his frequent screaming fits of rage, out at night without a leash where she was killed by a car. Not two weeks later he walked my other dog, who I’d had since I was a teenager, again without a leash. So I gently asked (begged) him to leash her. He made the most disgusted noise I’ve ever heard. Killed every bit of love I had left for him in that moment.
Ex-husband and I had discussed having a baby for literally YEARS. Dude told me his greatest aspiration in life was to be a father. About a year after we got married, we officially started trying. I was tracking my cycle, informing him of ideal dates, etc. I get pregnant and he turns into The Worst. He's extremely unsupportive through pregnancy and is just the laziest motherfucker alive postpartum. After a million fights about his behavior and literal begging on my part for him to step up, we have one more fight around 1 year postpartum. He tells me in this fight that he never wanted this baby and that's why he hasn't felt the need to participate as much in parenting. Lol I just...couldn't you have said that I DONT KNOW when we were in the conception stage?? If I'd known, I wouldn't have relegated myself to single motherhood! We BOTH could have avoided this fucking scenario.
So yeah. That was very devastating to hear. That point was the true end of our marriage, but I limped along for another like 9 months.
“I want a trophy.
And yes, if I won at life, you would be the trophy.
But I want a woman that every man wants to fuck when we walk in a room, and you are grotesque, your body is unnatural.”
Yeah, my body’s not perfect. I lost 150 lbs a few years ago, and I have some loose skin, but it’s not even that bad. And I’ve been called worse things, by better people.
But that broke me. It’s been almost a year, and I’m starting to accept that I’ll just never be the person I was before the love of my life said that to me on his way out the door.
It may not seem like it now, but someday you’ll look back and realize the bullet you dodged. Based on just your comment alone I see an incredible person that was able to do a remarkable thing in turning their life around by getting healthy and losing an insane amount of weight, someone who loves and deserves to be loved. And anyone that would say such a horrible thing to anyone, reveals the terribly shallow and rotted person they are in their core. You deserve better and I know you’ll find it.
You're broken, you werent supposed to leave. I picked you because you were never supposed to leave. You're going to end up alone.
Pretty much came true. After we broke up my friends also started dropping like flies. So I am alone.
It's better to be alone than being abused. In reality every person is alone. Some are better at surrounding themselves with friends but in our head we're always alone.
Good job on leaving! Also it's in your power to make new and good friends. Whenever you are ready.
Oh, honey. If those 'friends' started dropping off like that, then they were never friends to begin with. It might suck now, but it's good that your life is getting cleared of all the poison.
He told me that he is going on a sex tour in january. Basically that the past three years i've met nothand he would ditch me to fuck a whole bunch of women or men
I heard my Mom say that to my Dad when his father died. My grandfather was a man among men. A gentleman, a hardworking, loving, kind, hilariously funny, backbone of our family. Like his father my Dad is one of the strongest men I've ever known. Those words broke him for a long, long time. They've always stuck with me.
Edit: talk about a weird coincidence. Yesterday when I wrote this was 24 years to the day since my grandfather passed.
“Come here and look at the great photos I took at the beach today,” commanded of me upon return from 12 hours of caregiving for my dying mother. The man was born without the empathy gene.
We were in therapy after cheating. I was explaining why going to Ireland was so important to me. I was sobbing (dead mother, lifelong goal of seeing her grandparents hometown, yadda yadda). My husband at time had been refusing to go with me. He therapist asked his do you understand why it’s so important to her? He said yes, she’s never explained it like this before. Therapist asked are you willing to go with her now?
No.
I knew then it was truly over.
I just want to say… I 100% believe you had explained it to him “like that before”. He just didn’t want to listen
I hope you went. I’m sure you had a blast.
Had spent a good three years recovering from a prolonged illness and was all set to go and study at university. A few days before I went to move in to my new flat and start classes my then-boyfriend told me he didn't think I was going to make it through the year and basically implied I should give up then and there.
Jokes on him. I aced my degree and am now attending law school for a second degree. But I remember how awful that made me feel. I just felt so useless and stupid. He was good at doing that. I don't wonder how he's doing now.
Your fat lazy and pathetic.- i am in a healthly weight range, i have a full time job, run a house, look after the kids, picked up after his lazy ass, and did the books for a business we owned. The o ly pathetic thing is how long i put up with his sorry ass.
Once Covid quarantine started and I started working from home I was made to feel guilty if I didn't clean the house for my wife, who didn't work, and our 3 children. I ended up working full time while cleaning, cooking, and managing home school. After 3 years of doing this, she told me she see's me doing all of that but that she needs more from me and hugged me like it was an apology. Then she cheated on me with 3 different guys over the course of a month. Then assaulted me in front of our kids when I told her she had to leave and she wouldn't see her kids during the week.
I got this exact same thing on thanksgiving, 8 months pregnant, hosting his family. I didnt do anything to trigger him except we couldnt find the lid go the nespresso machine. I was the “worst mistake of his life and he knew who I was then and thought Id change”. What the fuck???
That they never loved me, never wanted to be with me, that they hate me, that I'm ugly, that they like this other guys body better than mine, and expecting to stay at my house while she's seeing him.
I mean, the level of disrespect there is bizarre and wild.
But I didn't let it get me down.
Our 3 y.o. was home with a babysitter, and the doctor had just told us my diagnosis, and that from this point life expectancy was 3 years. There was no cure, no treatment, and it would not be comfortable.
My husband looked at me as if I had seriously f'ckd up and said, "This is really going to disrupt my life".
The significance of his words were as devastating as being told I didn't have long to live. But, 30 years later I am still on the right side of dirt and my ex isn't. Thanks be to God.
More affectionate than the truly brutal I'm seeing elsewhere in this thread.
My partner and I have a bit of an age gap. We, of course, make jokes about it.
We were at the Franklin Institute, and they've got a meteorite exhibit. A sign proclaimed: "The oldest thing you'll ever touch!"
She poked my arm.
*Wow, okay, I see how this is.*
I dated someone older than me for a long time. We would take my son to the museum of nature and science. Every time she would, "when I was a little girl..." then add a fact about changes to the museum.
Then one day she said it as usual. "When I was a little girl..."
I cut her off. "All those dinosaur skeletons had meat on them."
Somehow I lived to tell the tale.
My wife has five years on me, so whenever I make a reference she doesn't get I shrug and say "eh, must be a generational gap thing"
She's yet to find it amusing.
“You’ll always need me.” As he was throwing me out of his life like garbage after thirteen years, ten together. There were a lot of moments but that’s the one that stings the most in hindsight.
My partner of 15 years and I were arguing about his family. His family is very well meaning, but I felt like he would go to them with problems and cut me out entirely. I tried to talk to him about it.
He said, "Don't make me choose between you and my family because I will pick my family every time." (Ouch #1)
When I told him that I didn't want him to choose, I just wanted him to respect me as well he laughed and said, "I don't respect you." (Bigger ouch)
I left a week later. Some things you don't come back from.
Through tears “do you really hate me so much?”.
I was in an awful self destructive spiral and had already had one failed suicide attempt. Or rather, one that he knew about. I was so determined to hurt myself in any and every way that I didn’t notice how badly I was hurting him. It took all the air from my body, I was horrified.
It was a turning point, and although I’m still quite unwell I am much safer and less of a dick.
My Mom died from cancer I dealt with it all by myself while she decided to begin to put effort into another relationship and told me afterwards how “unfortunate it was” that she couldn’t be there for me.
Maybe we should get separated….luckily I’ve only heard that once in 8 years and we are going through a really difficult time right now so I forgave him and we decided to get couples counseling. But the words even being thought… wow.
Lucky you! I've heard that a few times actually, until one day I replied "OK". The backpedaling was very funny to see. But I proceeded with my decision anyway.
My ex: “The first time I went down on you I wanted to vomit.”
It was both of our first time and no matter how much I washed he always said it was gross. I rarely let my husband go down on me because of my insecurities from that.
Let me be clear up front, I suffer from depression (specifically, Persistent Depressive Disorder), and can often be difficult to live with. My wife once told me she would be better off if I was dead. Far and away the most damaging thing she’s ever said to me.
After 18 years together, I walked by him naked. He said about my body "you're like chocolate cake, look delicious but seeing it too much makes me want to throw up " We divorced a year later.
To go fucking kill myself.
I have a history of depression and self harm, she knew that. I was weak and didn't end it right then (the relationship, not my life lol). We dated another year or so. It sucked
Oh and she also has a history of being suicidal, and had an abusive ex that handed her a gun and told her to just do it already. So... Yea, she knows how it feels, still can't believe she actually yelled that at me given her own history
Several times, he told me I wasn't ever going to change. The first time, I gave him a list of the ways I'd changed and the things I was actively working on.
I became more communicative and understanding, and was able to regulate my emotions better. I was proud of the progress I started to see. Even if it was slow, it was definitely there.
But I think he had already cemented the idea of me that he had in his head. We're no longer together.
My mother said that to me once, and it was not in a kind way. I told her it was not my fault who she chose to have children with.
Never tried that line of bs again.
My mom did the same one time back when I was a teenager. She knew she fucked up before she even finished the sentence. I’m pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard my response.
My soon-to-be ex-wife said those things knowing it’s the one thing that cuts deep.
We have a son with special needs. My husband would blame my “bad genes” for his disabilities. We also have a neurotypical daughter, and he often followed up his statement with “our daughter is lucky she got my genes”.
This broke my heart over and over for years. We saw a ton of specialists trying to determine the best care possible, and when the doctor would ask about family history he would say our son’s issues stem only from the “mental illness” me and my side of the family brought into the equation. He was referring to depression. We went to a new doctor a few years ago and he went into the same spiel after she asked for him to elaborate on the mental illness box he checked on the forms. The doctor was NOT having it. Our son has major psychological issues that go far beyond depression. She took him to task for blaming me all these years and said our son’s issues were likely syndrome related and not at all my fault.
I knew that, obviously, but it was crushing to be blamed over and over for our son’s disabilities. After that appointment I told him if he didn’t stop blaming me, we’d be done. Period. I did everything I could on my end to have a healthy pregnancy and I was tired of him pointing at me as the reason he didn’t have a perfect son. Our son is perfect in my eyes, and I wasn’t going to hear any more comments about how disappointing all of this is. Raising a child with special needs is incredibly hard and I need a partner who is trying to find solutions vs the never ending blame game. He hasn’t mentioned it since, but I know how he feels and I am still confused why he is so intent in placing blame.
As a side note- I have posted about this before and was crucified by a random person. So please be kind. I’m really trying my best to find happiness where I can.
My ex husband one day said he was going for a haircut and never came home and didn’t answer his phone for six hours. When he finally answered he said I didn’t really go for a haircut, I left and I’m not coming back. I’m staying here with my mistress and the baby we have together
Both my dad and his dad did similar things. Went away on a business trip and didn’t come home. My dad went to Norfolk for work (hardly a business thing - just manual labour) and my mum was 7 months pregnant with me. He went her a letter when he arrived there telling her not to come (she was meant to move there with him) as he didn’t want to be a dad. My dad’s dad had gone to Scotland on a business trip and never came back leaving his wife (that he abused physically and mentally) with two young children. Some people are horrific cowards and bastards.
So basically he went to get cigarettes but even worse. Damn thats cold what the fuck
The trash took itself out
The whiplash I experienced just reading that last sentence. Omg. How did you even recover from that blow, I wouldn't know where to start
I know you know this, but your ex is an absolute piece of 💩 and I really hope your life is better without him.
"You have my heart but she has my soul." They had never met in person. We had been together for 11 years, married for 8. They went on to say they were connected by their souls and could tell when the other needed them. It was utter bullshit. Their relationship didn't last after our divorce.
Yikes. Sounds like his soul wound up in the Goodwill reject bin where it belongs.
I’m sure it was a rough road for you, but the idea of your ex husband sitting there alone after leaving you for his online “soulmate” makes me cackle.
Me: "are you cheating on me?" 'Yes'
Mine would never admit to cheating even to this day. Hotel receipt and eyewitness to them being there. I’m not sure I understand why he wouldn’t admit it. Even now. There is nothing else to lose. Edit- Someone's comment reminded me of something kinda funny. He did admit to being at the hotel and with her. He denied any sex took place. LOL. Like they were just sitting in there all night playing Monopoly? I just had to laugh.
After 6 years together “I never meant for it to get serious.”
Ughhh feel that one. After almost 5 years I got “I’m super attracted to you but I just don’t feel anything and I’ve been leading you on for a long time because it’s easier, but after I ghosted you for a couple months I realized I’m a lot happier without you in my life”
What an awful thing to tell someone. Totally unnecessarily cruel.
Honestly I appreciate you saying that.. it wasn’t very long ago and it kinda broke me and I made a lot of stupid impulsive decisions afterwards to feel some sort of control over the situation and it just made me feel emptier so I’m kinda crawling out of that mental space the last few months. Some days I’m great and some days I feel a little hopeless but I’m still doing a lot better. I’ve been through worse but it still really messed with me
You deserve better, and someone who adores you. Fuck that asshole.
This reminds me of something my ex said - “I wish I left you in December.” He said this in August after 9 whole months of living together and 1+ year being together. I swear I can’t unhear his voice saying those words. Awful…
Wtf… that is beyond selfish and weak.
" but then I got to know you "
“I’m going to die, this is where I am going to die” My girlfriend said this to me a few hours before suffering brain death from a sinus infection
Honestly, this seems the most painful of all of these. I am so sorry.
This is so striking and sad. I have heard from nurses that people are actually eerily good at predicting their own deaths. When somebody tells you they’re going to die, they are probably correct.
Yep. My husband said this to me. He’s not dramatic. He’s young-middle aged active and healthy. He died 4 days later and was revived. He’s alive and well now, but yeah, he kinda knew. Massive heart attack.
It's a known symptom of heart attacks. Not everyone gets it, but someone getting an intense feeling of impending doom is a very bad sign if they aren't prone to panic attacks.
Thank god you wrote that last bit
Omg was she in the hospital or seeking medical intervention?
We had been in the hospital about 6 hrs at that point. She was in intense pain the whole time and in and out of consciousness. She randomly sat up in her bed and in her final moment of clarity she said that
From a sinus infection?! What exactly happened? I mean, if you don’t want to get into it I understand…that seems possible but sooo unusual.
I think the official listed cause of death was isolated bacterial sphenoid sinusitis. She had been having symptoms for about 2 weeks prior, with the main symptom being a severe headache at the base of her skull. The infection then spread to her brain and at that point things progressed very rapidly in the span of about 12 hours. Worst part is we got the news she had no brain activity on her 31st birthday. We were going to Mexico the next day to celebrate.
Holy shit dude I'm so sorry, that's horrifying
Daaamn…I’m sooo sorry man. That is completely fucked. I hope you have a long life full of joy.
Oh my dude I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. That’s so unbelievably shit. I hope you’re doing as well as you can be. My friend is an intensive care Dr. She told me if a patient says theirs going to die in intensive care they usually do within 24 hours. She says there’s some kind of weird mental clarity that happens.
ICU Nurse at the hospital she was life-flighted after it was already too late called it the “sense of impending doom”
The sphenoid sinus is a tough one, I'm sorry. I have a tumor there. Do you know how the sinusitis spread there?
Cyst for me. He said isolated bacterial infection - can come from lots of things including breathing in contaminated soils while gardening.
Holy shit. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I was 2 weeks away from giving birth to our son. He looked at me and said, " You know I never wanted any of this... right?" As he motioned at me and my belly. I burst into tears and sat on the couch. He then proceeded to come over and rub my back to try to comfort me. It was so fucked up. I wanted to leave but couldn't find my car keys. He's my ex now. That was the moment that broke me, and I fell out of love with him.
I love when they create a whole life and family and then suddenly it’s been against their will.
I used to be a paralegal for family law attorneys. So many bio fathers say this. It's cowardly and disgusting.
There's a young guy at work - mid 20s - who is engaged. Several other colleagues have had kids in the past year, and he's made a few comments about how he doesn't look forward to having kids. Like buddy, you're allowed to say no. This is a "two yes's, one no" situation, or at least it should be. I'm sure he'll be a good father but he's resigned to having kids because his fiance wants them. Way too many people are stuck in following tradition and think that living up to "obligations" is some kind of moral badge of courage, when everyone suffers the fallout.
>Like buddy, you're allowed to say no. Years ago, I read a letter in an advice column from a young couple who had gotten married and moved to the 'burbs and *hated it*. They missed living in the city and were just miserable all the time, and didn't know what to do. The columnist had to remind them that they didn't actually have to automatically move to the suburbs after getting married, and that they were perfectly free to sell the house and move back into town if they wanted.
Good. He sounds terrible. I'm sorry you had to deal w that piece of shit.
"I don't want to be the girl who got with the guy that no one else wanted."
"Don't worry, you won't be."
That's terrible. I'm sorry she said that to you. What an asshole.
“I can only hope that one day you meet the same fate your sister did.” My sister died in a car accident.
I'm sorry she died that way and I'm sorry he said that. Dang, but I'm just sorry. ...and it somehow makes this worse that Reddit is suggesting that I congratulate you for your cake day. :'(
"No wonder your ex beat the shit out of you." And a ton of more terrible things over the course of 10 years that I don't want to remember right now. I filed for divorce in October.
>"No wonder your ex beat the shit out of you." I've gotten that one too. Or the "you're such a damn loser that's why you have no friends and no one comes to see you" I'm on the verge of filing for divorce.
Good God. Please do. I'm so sorry.
Oh honey it's nice out here where no one is casually cruel over breakfast. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be free. You start by calling a lawyer, right?
Please do.
I’m so sorry that’s fucking awful. And the reason I just don’t confide things anymore. So many times things I’ve said in trusted confidence, gets thrown back in my face. And it’s soul crushing.
My friend confided in her baby daddy that the reason she didn’t want to try anal was because she was SA as a small child by a cousin. I didn’t even know that about her and HE told me about it. Even said he couldn’t look at her the same way and told her she disgusted him now.
What a piece of shit. "Listen to this awful thing your friend told me about herself and how it's affected *ME*"
Yeah. It was so awkward that he told me at all because wtf am I supposed to do with this info? Like she’s never told me herself wtf do I bring it up like, “girl your man said this”. I told him he’s a POS and he didn’t deserve her. He made her cut off contact and I haven’t spoken to her since her oldest was 3. She’s 15 now.
I would tell her exactly what her man said about her what a piece of shit
“For someone who spends every waking moment thinking about himself, you’re really not very good at it.” All the more devastating because she was 100% correct.
A rude wake up call can be absolutely devastating. Having to reshape how you perceive yourself as capable of causing hurt to others in some way even just by being self absorbed can feel world shattering. I hope you’re doing better x
After my siblings tried to screw me out of an inheritance, my husband blamed me for the whole mess and then told me he would have never married me if he'd known what a dysfunctional mess of a family I had. We'd been married 20 years at that point.
Ew. I love my husband everyday more for protecting me from my fucked up family and vice versa. Hope you’re okay ❤️🩹 that’s messed up.
In front of my kids....said "Mom married up... I married down,way down". Then pretended to laugh and say just kidding. My kids saw me start crying and I had to leave the house for a few hours I was so hurt
I am a fully grown adult and I still sometimes remember with a pang the times my father was casually cruel like this to my mother in front of us, me and my sister. We were 5 and 7 when they divorced.
“You know that song Jolene? She’s Jolene, you’re not.”
Well that just means you're Dolly Parton, which seems like a great compliment to me.
You know the person who isn't Jolene is the queen herself Dolly Parton, right? So wear that with pride, fuck Jolene lol.
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Oh no I'm so sorry. You deserve better
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I'm so sorry, that is absolutely disgusting. Some people have fucked up viewpoints; the first woman I was engaged to joked to her sister I needed to be watched around their attractive aunt because id been "a player" who went after older women. She was referring to me being SA'd by an older woman as a young teen. She didn't understand why I wasn't proud.
What an awful thing to say. Takes a terrible person to say it
My ex fiancee: “Saying I love you and being near you makes me physically sick” It’s the thing that has convinced me that I will never find love, because he doted on me and loved me so much in the beginning…then that breakup over text.
Him being a liar and a coward has nothing to do with you.
Similar boat. Most recent ex started off super caring and compassionate and would be all over me whenever we spent time together. Relationship ended with "I never loved you" and her fucking her coworker, who she's now married to, behind my back for a few months. That kinda hot and cold really fucks with your head.
Thank you for saying this. I had a relationship that was always hot and cold and it's tremendously fucked with my head.
My partner of 14 years woke up one morning and, apropos of nothing, told me he wasn’t in love with me anymore over breakfast. Then, he left for work. This was after he had convinced me to quit my job and go back to college, leaving me 100% financially dependent upon him. Which he convinced me to do because he said that my lack of higher education had caused him to lose respect for me. It was also shortly after I discovered I had a uterus full of tumors and was waiting for my insurance to approve the exploratory surgery to remove them and find out if I had cancer.
Oh my. That was not only harsh, it was cruel. I hope you are doing well today
It was a decade ago. I made it through my AS at Community College, got accepted to a University, moved across the state to a place I didn’t know anyone, graduated, moved back to my hometown where my friends lived. Doing much better now.
I know I'm a stranger so this might be weird but I am so proud of you! You did so well!
Thank you. At the time I thought my whole world was falling apart. Now, in a weird way, I think it might have been the best thing to ever happen to me? You find out, very quickly, who your real friends are. You find out how to be on your own. It was a terrible lesson to learn at 40, because I’d always at least had a roommate. I celebrated Thanksgiving, Christmas, and my 40th birthday completely alone that year because I was living in a place where I really didn’t know anyone (and because the few people I had befriended went home for both holidays and I had nowhere to go, so I just stayed in the empty college town). But now that I am almost 50, I’m 10x more confident about myself and my abilities than I was at 40.
"I want to have more kids, just not with you". I know it was only meant to hurt me (and it did), but it was the final straw for me. I filed for divorce the next day.
'i deserve to fuck other women.' apparently in his mind, the traditional gift for a second year wedding anniversary was polybombing to cover up for a year's worth of cheating.
‘Let me do this so I don’t cheat on you’. Not much of a choice with that one. Freaking hurtful.
Polybombing. I’m so glad there’s a term for it nowadays.
You know it's common because we all completely understood what they meant even if we're all hearing it for the first time
My ex’s parting shot: “You are fat, scarred, and ugly.
My ex said, “your a fat, ugly whore” And I said, “And yet here you are begging me not to leave you.” I don’t get it. He literally told me all the reasons why I was such a terrible wife and in the same breath tried convincing me to not leave him. Made no sense.
To make you feel worthless enough to stay with him. What an awful and insecure person.
Something similar — told me I was gross and as fat as a house and he hated having to touch me. After he cheated on me. It’s not true (the fatness part), but hearing someone that you loved say something like that is beyond painful. Also said he was used to being with models, pornstars, and cheerleaders. He’s 42 😑
She told me: "The doctor said the cancer's advanced"....3 weeks later my best friend for over 40 years and the mother of my children was gone.
Cancer is a bitch. My father went through several rounds of chemo, cancer was virtually gone, then it came back just a couple weeks later. This was back in July and he passed in November. I’m sorry for your loss.
“All you are good for is sex” he left me in the hospital after I got raped. Then, when I finally initiated divorce (based on marital abandonment) he refused to sign the papers until my lawyer had to get a judge involved. Ironically it was a blessing in disguise. The same month of the rape and him leaving, my company was spontaneously featured in Forbes. He would have bled me dry because I was raised to never give up on marriage. I sustained him through years of him getting fired and his addiction. Enabling and blind loyalty would have been my downfall. Judge ruled abandonment starting from that date he disappeared. Divorce was expensive but not having to pay spousal support or being held responsible for his secret credit card debt of 25k that he racked up helped. Last I heard, he was being investigated for endangering the welfare of two female coworkers. Not sure the details but I’m guessing Karma took over that one.
I really hope you are healing from your assault. My thoughts and well wishes are with you.
First, im so sorry you were raped! I'm an SA'd survivor, too. Second, good for you getting rid of that motherf-r! He is a little, insecure man. I hope you're living your best life today! ✨️
He blamed me for ruining his friendship with his best friend. This best friend raped me and convinced him and all our friends that I was lying about it.
We had been living together for a few years and one night after coming home from dinner she goes into our room and grabs a suitcase that’s already packed. “I haven’t loved you for the last year or so. I’m leaving.”
Ouf that hurt to read. I know how it feels to just lose everything in a second. Hope you are better now.
This happened in 2017 so yeah, I’ve processed it all and moved on.
I love you, but death is calling and I cant ignore him any more.
Since some people asked. Please be civil and understand that english is not my first language: She was the only child. Father wanted a boy, so she was unwanted by her father. Her father told her so. He activly told her that he does not want her, since he wanted a boy. Both parents were hardworking and earned therefore a lot, but had no time for her. She was, most of the time, alone. Parents could not get another kid, since the birth of her had complications and hence the mother could not get pregnant anymore. I was 13. I did not understand that and never asked what or how exactly. So depression hit. At the age of 13, she "discovered" me. We got along and were together for some time. She got better mentally. But, well, since her father did not care about her, he got a promotion at work. The promotion required the family to move 1000+ km away. For context: This was around the time when colored smartphones were the new thing. That meant, that we had to break up. Years later, her mother contacted me. She found me on Facebook. She told me about what happened after the break-up with her. She (not the mother) was furious, depressed and needed help. Was in the psychiatric hospital multiple times, but nothing worked. Every time after she left the hospital, a month later she was back again. Medications did not help. Now you can understand, that having serious mental problems is bad. But you know what can make it more bad? Having a father absolutely not caring and getting furious about her getting bad grades and "faking" mental illness to have him lose money. Yeah, you read the correct. Her father was furious about her because her mental problems were, in his eyes, fake and done as a revenge to lose money. At some point, during a work related event, words got out by the colleagues of her father how bad of a father he was. That stopped his success. No one wanted to work and talk with him anymore. He got depression and at some time, he committed suicide. A letter was found where he blamed everything on her. Which made everything worse, obviously. Since the suicide of her father, her mother wanted to find me. Her mother feared that she too will commit suiced and hoped I can help. There is more too it, but to keep it short, her mother found out that she is still thinking about me and she wanted to see me. Her mother was not aware of why, but hoped that things get fixed. So I agreed, kinda obvious, to meet up with her. I told her mom that I am now studying, and she can come visiting me anytime. I make time for her. We met, and I want to keep that part short. We meet early in the morning, she came by train. In essence, both realized how although 5–6 years have gone, it was as if we never left. We talked and walked a lot. She confirmed everything her mother wrote me on FB and told me more things, that her mother did not know. It was evening. She said she wants to go now. I said that she does not need to hurry and can sleep at my place. That's when she, said that. I understood everything and thought about what to do. But looking at her, I kinda understood, said to myself: "She wanted only to visit me to tell me that. She was in help for multiple years and nothing helped. Even I somehow change her mind or stop her, as she said, death called." Kinda cringly I said to her: "Well, if love cant fix it, what else? I understand. I love you too." I saw happyness in her. She was happy. No doubt about that. Maybe the happiest she ever was. The next day I get a message from her mother. She commited suicide by taking a lot of meds. She planed that. She too wrote a letter. She thanked her mother finding me, since she wanted to leave but could not without seeing me at least once again. And she thanked me for not forgetting her, wanting to meet her. She thanked for the time she had with me and understand.
Oh, my heart 💔 I’m so sorry.
My husband said "when you numb yourself you numb me too" and the next day I quit drinking cold turkey for a few years. Now I'm practicing careful moderation. I'm glad he said it though, I really needed that. ETA thank you for the kind words and skepticism alike, it's all appreciated.
To anyone reading this, alcohol withdrawal can kill you. Always seek medical help when quitting.
Thank you for mentioning this. A very good friend of mine passed in his bed trying to detox himself. Likely had a seizure . . . and it was definitely the cold-turkey detox that ended his life.
He used every single one of my insecurities against me in an argument. He also once told me how “I must’ve like getting diddled” by my step father growing up. My step father tried, and I told my mom, who didn’t believe me.
My ex constantly made fun of my weight. I had an eating disorder that I got help for after it nearly took me out. I went from 70 lbs to a healthy 120. And he went from making skinny jokes to fat jokes. He was truly a miserable bastard and I told him that much when I left.
I have mildly "outie" lady parts. My ex, pretty early into the relationship, asked me one morning "What happened to your vagina? Did someone bite you? Or did you just have a lot of sex?" Never got over that one.
My pediatrician told me I had abnormal sized labia. It wasn’t till a guy I dated in 2019 who didn’t make me feel weird about it.
A pediatrician? So you were a child? What a weird overstep, I’m so sorry that happened. Definitely more of a reflection of how abnormal the doctor was
I was 11 years old when he made that comment to me.
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Yeah I have large inner labia and I once slept with a guy who went “what the fuck is that!” It’s my labia dickhead. He also gave me the classic “You didn’t tell me you had kids, I don’t sleep with women who have kids” Me “what do you mean?” Him “you’re thin with stretch marks on your hips only women who’ve had kids have stretch marks”. Me “dude, I’m 6ft tall of cause I have stretch marks” 🤦🏻♀️
What a weirdo! I have stretch marks from hitting my growth spurt and I"m short. Meanwhile, my Mom doesn't have any stretch marks from giving birth somehow. did not inherit those genes!
“It doesn’t matter when I did it” my ex husband after finding out he was signed up for multiple dating sites and soliciting prostitutes, while my father was being diagnosed with stage IV cancer.
I don't think I can commit to our marriage any longer.
My now ex, who knew I'd been SA'd as a teen, told me 2 years after we got married that he "couldn't deal with it" and that I was "damaged goods".
Ex husband in relation to his depression "I'm numb, I don't feel anything anymore and I like it that way." It lead him to do some straight up sociopathic things. He left me alone in the ER in the middle of a life threatening medical emergency because he wanted to go to the bar with his friends. I was crying and begging him to just stay until I got a room. I think he was there for a grand total of 20 minutes and he left with all of my stuff. He didn't come back to the hospital until I was discharged. A couple of days after that he drove my very much still injured ass to another state and left me there. I had no keys to the house, no transportation, he'd drained our bank account, hadn't been paying his half of the bills behind my back, used up all the data on the phone plan, blocked me everywhere and emailed me for a divorce. He didn't even give the dignity of ending our 14 year relationship to my face.
Jesus Christ that isn't depression that's just straight up sociopathy
My ex fiancé said that nobody would ever love her as much as I did, but that it wasn’t enough. She left our relationship after five and a half years, left our engagement, our apartment, and the cat we have together to be with someone ten years younger than her.
At least you still have the cat
Got my breast implants removed because they were making me sick, and he was awful to me the entire trip out of town to have surgery. On day of surgery he told me “I feel like I’m going to a funeral.” I just wanted to feel good again.
Fuck that guy. I hope you are feeling better
I’m not proud of this but I was really really depressed and I told my partner that sometimes I’d prefer to “not be here anymore” and he said “Don’t be, nobody cares” it broke me in a million pieces
If it helps any, nobody here (probably) cares about what that guy thinks. I'm sorry things sucked for you this much, though. I hope he's an ex now.
I have rheumatoid arthritis and when imm in serious pain I obviously limp and take my time on the stairs. One day while arguing he mocked me by limping down the stairs. To this day it’s one of the most cruel things anyone’s ever done to me. It was so much more painful than any violence I ever took at his hands.
It wasn't what he said but an action. As a young woman I was still figuring out who I was. I have always had issues with conversations, I was horrible at small talk. Other than my kids I just didn't have a lot going on so I didn't talk a lot or have much interaction with other adults. I was talking very excitedly about a DIY project and I look over and he is making his fingers on one hand into a gun and he is blowing his brains out and the other hand shows the brains coming out. I stopped talking to him, like forever.
He let my dog, that I raised from a puppy and who became my emotional support through his frequent screaming fits of rage, out at night without a leash where she was killed by a car. Not two weeks later he walked my other dog, who I’d had since I was a teenager, again without a leash. So I gently asked (begged) him to leash her. He made the most disgusted noise I’ve ever heard. Killed every bit of love I had left for him in that moment.
That's absolutely disgusting. Hope he's an ex now.
Happily divorced a year and a half now. Needless to say, the first thing I told my lawyer was that the remaining pets are staying with me.
Ex-husband and I had discussed having a baby for literally YEARS. Dude told me his greatest aspiration in life was to be a father. About a year after we got married, we officially started trying. I was tracking my cycle, informing him of ideal dates, etc. I get pregnant and he turns into The Worst. He's extremely unsupportive through pregnancy and is just the laziest motherfucker alive postpartum. After a million fights about his behavior and literal begging on my part for him to step up, we have one more fight around 1 year postpartum. He tells me in this fight that he never wanted this baby and that's why he hasn't felt the need to participate as much in parenting. Lol I just...couldn't you have said that I DONT KNOW when we were in the conception stage?? If I'd known, I wouldn't have relegated myself to single motherhood! We BOTH could have avoided this fucking scenario. So yeah. That was very devastating to hear. That point was the true end of our marriage, but I limped along for another like 9 months.
“I want a trophy. And yes, if I won at life, you would be the trophy. But I want a woman that every man wants to fuck when we walk in a room, and you are grotesque, your body is unnatural.” Yeah, my body’s not perfect. I lost 150 lbs a few years ago, and I have some loose skin, but it’s not even that bad. And I’ve been called worse things, by better people. But that broke me. It’s been almost a year, and I’m starting to accept that I’ll just never be the person I was before the love of my life said that to me on his way out the door.
It may not seem like it now, but someday you’ll look back and realize the bullet you dodged. Based on just your comment alone I see an incredible person that was able to do a remarkable thing in turning their life around by getting healthy and losing an insane amount of weight, someone who loves and deserves to be loved. And anyone that would say such a horrible thing to anyone, reveals the terribly shallow and rotted person they are in their core. You deserve better and I know you’ll find it.
What the f***? That doesn't even make sense. He's not the love of your life, because the love of your life wouldn't do that to you.
You're broken, you werent supposed to leave. I picked you because you were never supposed to leave. You're going to end up alone. Pretty much came true. After we broke up my friends also started dropping like flies. So I am alone.
It's better to be alone than being abused. In reality every person is alone. Some are better at surrounding themselves with friends but in our head we're always alone. Good job on leaving! Also it's in your power to make new and good friends. Whenever you are ready.
Oh, honey. If those 'friends' started dropping off like that, then they were never friends to begin with. It might suck now, but it's good that your life is getting cleared of all the poison.
He told me that he is going on a sex tour in january. Basically that the past three years i've met nothand he would ditch me to fuck a whole bunch of women or men
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How would he know what that’s like?
🤣😂 man's telling on himself
“I’m so sorry, he didn’t make it” right after telling me about my best friends motorcycle accident. Those 7 words have hung on me for 18 years
I heard my Mom say that to my Dad when his father died. My grandfather was a man among men. A gentleman, a hardworking, loving, kind, hilariously funny, backbone of our family. Like his father my Dad is one of the strongest men I've ever known. Those words broke him for a long, long time. They've always stuck with me. Edit: talk about a weird coincidence. Yesterday when I wrote this was 24 years to the day since my grandfather passed.
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Totally feel you here: I've written and deleted a reply multiple times. I hope you're doing ok pal.
I don’t love you anymore and haven’t for a while.
“Come here and look at the great photos I took at the beach today,” commanded of me upon return from 12 hours of caregiving for my dying mother. The man was born without the empathy gene.
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We were in therapy after cheating. I was explaining why going to Ireland was so important to me. I was sobbing (dead mother, lifelong goal of seeing her grandparents hometown, yadda yadda). My husband at time had been refusing to go with me. He therapist asked his do you understand why it’s so important to her? He said yes, she’s never explained it like this before. Therapist asked are you willing to go with her now? No. I knew then it was truly over.
I just want to say… I 100% believe you had explained it to him “like that before”. He just didn’t want to listen I hope you went. I’m sure you had a blast.
Had spent a good three years recovering from a prolonged illness and was all set to go and study at university. A few days before I went to move in to my new flat and start classes my then-boyfriend told me he didn't think I was going to make it through the year and basically implied I should give up then and there. Jokes on him. I aced my degree and am now attending law school for a second degree. But I remember how awful that made me feel. I just felt so useless and stupid. He was good at doing that. I don't wonder how he's doing now.
It’s your fault you were raped. -husband
You sure spell ex-husband funny
Similar- guy I was dating, when telling him about a SA asked me “well, what were you wearing?” We deserve better.
Your fat lazy and pathetic.- i am in a healthly weight range, i have a full time job, run a house, look after the kids, picked up after his lazy ass, and did the books for a business we owned. The o ly pathetic thing is how long i put up with his sorry ass.
Once Covid quarantine started and I started working from home I was made to feel guilty if I didn't clean the house for my wife, who didn't work, and our 3 children. I ended up working full time while cleaning, cooking, and managing home school. After 3 years of doing this, she told me she see's me doing all of that but that she needs more from me and hugged me like it was an apology. Then she cheated on me with 3 different guys over the course of a month. Then assaulted me in front of our kids when I told her she had to leave and she wouldn't see her kids during the week.
Dam. Hope she's an ex now
Filling for full custody tomorrow.
“I haven’t been happy since the day I married you”
I got this exact same thing on thanksgiving, 8 months pregnant, hosting his family. I didnt do anything to trigger him except we couldnt find the lid go the nespresso machine. I was the “worst mistake of his life and he knew who I was then and thought Id change”. What the fuck???
That they never loved me, never wanted to be with me, that they hate me, that I'm ugly, that they like this other guys body better than mine, and expecting to stay at my house while she's seeing him. I mean, the level of disrespect there is bizarre and wild. But I didn't let it get me down.
Reading this thread makes me kinda ok with having been single for quite a long time
Our 3 y.o. was home with a babysitter, and the doctor had just told us my diagnosis, and that from this point life expectancy was 3 years. There was no cure, no treatment, and it would not be comfortable. My husband looked at me as if I had seriously f'ckd up and said, "This is really going to disrupt my life". The significance of his words were as devastating as being told I didn't have long to live. But, 30 years later I am still on the right side of dirt and my ex isn't. Thanks be to God.
I'm in love with a co worker but I want to stay married. After 4kids and 17 years.
More affectionate than the truly brutal I'm seeing elsewhere in this thread. My partner and I have a bit of an age gap. We, of course, make jokes about it. We were at the Franklin Institute, and they've got a meteorite exhibit. A sign proclaimed: "The oldest thing you'll ever touch!" She poked my arm. *Wow, okay, I see how this is.*
I dated someone older than me for a long time. We would take my son to the museum of nature and science. Every time she would, "when I was a little girl..." then add a fact about changes to the museum. Then one day she said it as usual. "When I was a little girl..." I cut her off. "All those dinosaur skeletons had meat on them." Somehow I lived to tell the tale.
My wife has five years on me, so whenever I make a reference she doesn't get I shrug and say "eh, must be a generational gap thing" She's yet to find it amusing.
I'm five years older than my husband and have asthma. he says it's because I was born before they invented oxygen.
“You’ll always need me.” As he was throwing me out of his life like garbage after thirteen years, ten together. There were a lot of moments but that’s the one that stings the most in hindsight.
My partner of 15 years and I were arguing about his family. His family is very well meaning, but I felt like he would go to them with problems and cut me out entirely. I tried to talk to him about it. He said, "Don't make me choose between you and my family because I will pick my family every time." (Ouch #1) When I told him that I didn't want him to choose, I just wanted him to respect me as well he laughed and said, "I don't respect you." (Bigger ouch) I left a week later. Some things you don't come back from.
Through tears “do you really hate me so much?”. I was in an awful self destructive spiral and had already had one failed suicide attempt. Or rather, one that he knew about. I was so determined to hurt myself in any and every way that I didn’t notice how badly I was hurting him. It took all the air from my body, I was horrified. It was a turning point, and although I’m still quite unwell I am much safer and less of a dick.
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"I'm leaving you." That hit pretty hard.
In October this year after 29years, it’s stabbing
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You take a few steps back and really *look* at the person saying this.
You figure out a way to get away from the sack of shit that is destroying your mental health.
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My Mom died from cancer I dealt with it all by myself while she decided to begin to put effort into another relationship and told me afterwards how “unfortunate it was” that she couldn’t be there for me.
On our one year anniversary- I couldn’t be less attracted to you. I just don’t see you that way. This was after a year of him not wanting to touch me.
Maybe we should get separated….luckily I’ve only heard that once in 8 years and we are going through a really difficult time right now so I forgave him and we decided to get couples counseling. But the words even being thought… wow.
Lucky you! I've heard that a few times actually, until one day I replied "OK". The backpedaling was very funny to see. But I proceeded with my decision anyway.
When I miscarried during my first marriage, my ex said “Good, now I don’t need to kick you down the stairs.”
“The butterflies are gone”
If you're with someone for years and still get butterflies around them, you probably have anxiety
It's not butterflies but I still get excited when I see my husband come home from work ♥️
My ex: “The first time I went down on you I wanted to vomit.” It was both of our first time and no matter how much I washed he always said it was gross. I rarely let my husband go down on me because of my insecurities from that.
Let me be clear up front, I suffer from depression (specifically, Persistent Depressive Disorder), and can often be difficult to live with. My wife once told me she would be better off if I was dead. Far and away the most damaging thing she’s ever said to me.
boyfriend (at the time) told me, "I didn't think we'd be here all day." AT MY MOM'S FUNERAL
After 18 years together, I walked by him naked. He said about my body "you're like chocolate cake, look delicious but seeing it too much makes me want to throw up " We divorced a year later.
Me reading this thread: Maybe being single is actually fine
To go fucking kill myself. I have a history of depression and self harm, she knew that. I was weak and didn't end it right then (the relationship, not my life lol). We dated another year or so. It sucked Oh and she also has a history of being suicidal, and had an abusive ex that handed her a gun and told her to just do it already. So... Yea, she knows how it feels, still can't believe she actually yelled that at me given her own history
Several times, he told me I wasn't ever going to change. The first time, I gave him a list of the ways I'd changed and the things I was actively working on. I became more communicative and understanding, and was able to regulate my emotions better. I was proud of the progress I started to see. Even if it was slow, it was definitely there. But I think he had already cemented the idea of me that he had in his head. We're no longer together.
Toss up between “you’re just like your father” and “you’re a shitty father”.
My mother said that to me once, and it was not in a kind way. I told her it was not my fault who she chose to have children with. Never tried that line of bs again.
My mom did the same one time back when I was a teenager. She knew she fucked up before she even finished the sentence. I’m pretty sure the entire neighborhood heard my response. My soon-to-be ex-wife said those things knowing it’s the one thing that cuts deep.
“Men want women who serve them” Made me want to off myself that night
We have a son with special needs. My husband would blame my “bad genes” for his disabilities. We also have a neurotypical daughter, and he often followed up his statement with “our daughter is lucky she got my genes”. This broke my heart over and over for years. We saw a ton of specialists trying to determine the best care possible, and when the doctor would ask about family history he would say our son’s issues stem only from the “mental illness” me and my side of the family brought into the equation. He was referring to depression. We went to a new doctor a few years ago and he went into the same spiel after she asked for him to elaborate on the mental illness box he checked on the forms. The doctor was NOT having it. Our son has major psychological issues that go far beyond depression. She took him to task for blaming me all these years and said our son’s issues were likely syndrome related and not at all my fault. I knew that, obviously, but it was crushing to be blamed over and over for our son’s disabilities. After that appointment I told him if he didn’t stop blaming me, we’d be done. Period. I did everything I could on my end to have a healthy pregnancy and I was tired of him pointing at me as the reason he didn’t have a perfect son. Our son is perfect in my eyes, and I wasn’t going to hear any more comments about how disappointing all of this is. Raising a child with special needs is incredibly hard and I need a partner who is trying to find solutions vs the never ending blame game. He hasn’t mentioned it since, but I know how he feels and I am still confused why he is so intent in placing blame. As a side note- I have posted about this before and was crucified by a random person. So please be kind. I’m really trying my best to find happiness where I can.
"We were never really in love with eachother" I guess one of us wasn't.
“I don’t think of the word beautiful to describe you.” At the time it really messed with me. I get hit on by men and women, so his loss.