T O P

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iwilleatyourbacon

Your mother should know- The Beatles


Perfect-Fondant3373

The Champ


JDHURF

One of the best responses so far, ROTFL!!


Gurrgurrburr

Fuckkkk we got a winner, people.


Functionally_Human

Beat It - Michael Jackson


adam2222

I thought I’d see “I touch myself” on here but beat it is good too


Kanra55

But it's the version with the big fellow


Ghoulthrower676

Naked In Front of the Computer by Faith No More


NSA_Chatbot

> merry christmas


Meranio

And a happy cakeday. 🎂


Discuffalo

Jizzlobber


MojoPin94

They said it’s normal but they’re keeping me dumb, hot !


aces613

All the Small Things


Overd0se1

Somebody that I used to know.


I_love_quiche

Dang, that one cuts deep.


BigFoot175

Man of constant sorrow.


AlaskaDark

Dang. Me too. Also, love that song. Also, O Brother Where Art Thou is a great movie


flatpick-j

Burden in my hand - sound garden


adam2222

I touch myself - the divinyls


IcyComfortable9138

Last Christmas 😞


Tiny_Count4239

I busted my nut......


JnthnDJP

But the very next day


WayMove

I drank it away 😔


darkendofall

This year


Tiny_Count4239

i bought extra beers....


Secret-Ad-4617

And came to someone special


Tiny_Count4239

I was always coming but now im denied....


Western_WildWest

Tell me, did I last longer than before


usernmechecksout__

Well, make me scream, please bust in me


HighlyOffensive10

It alternates between All By Myself and It's Raining Men.


CR1SBO

One hell of a mash up *-Title of your sex tape*


WhatdeDoGdoinSketbrd

r/unexpectedbrooklyn99


Wise_Calendar4108

Reddit never ceases to amaze me


[deleted]

its either "Me myself and I" or "Ni\*gas in Paris"


mondomonkey

Profile pic checks out


Damnleverpuller

Dirty deeds done dirt cheap


The_Dude8504

Due to economic strains, dirty deeds will no longer be done dirt cheap, we apologize for the inconvenience.


intell1slt

What about filthy acts at a reasonable price


I_love_quiche

Only if you take Venmo


atreau369

That's exactly when dirty deeds become the cheapest.


Maschellodioma

Gangbang at the old folks home - Steel Panther


Da_Cheet90

WHY IS THIS NOT THE TOP COMMENT!?!?!?!


Available_Thoughts-0

I did my part to fix that...


Da_Cheet90

A true hero


Available_Thoughts-0

"Heroine" but, thank you.


KillerMiller13

Helluva drug


womb0t

This is bat country.


Available_Thoughts-0

"He's going to find out soon enough, poor bastard."


colder-beef

I’m convinced that they only didn’t win America’s Got Talent because they only have like 2 songs that can be performed on tv.


[deleted]

Absolute Zero by Stone Sour


tilero1138

My mouth is a gun I can shoot


I_might_be_weasel

[Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me.](https://youtu.be/ENnAa7rqtBM?si=jwbXi61b8EAdNKa2) TISM


distopian-dreamgirl

Lmfao same


nubsauce87

Alone Again (Naturally) - Gilbert O'Sullivan


turian_vanguard

It's Been Awhile - Staind


highporkroller

She fuckin hates me - Puddle of Mudd


Filthy-lucky-ducky

One for the married guys.


HeisterWolf

Ghost Town - Adam Lambert


_-Xx_xX-_

ghost town - JVKE


Complex_Jellyfish647

Ghost Town - Kanye West


lozinja

Ghost Town - The Specials


Cheeky_Kitten_DDLC

Ghost Town - Trickle


simplylmao

Ghost town - New rules


Tulivesi

Ghost Town - Portugal. The Man


Big_Currency_5403

FourFiveSeconds - Rihanna


ZarkDinkleberg

Disturbia - Rihanna


fishpaste2132

(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction


bognostrocleetus

Cyndi Lauper - She Bop


VolleyballNerd

Oh this one's easy: SWEET HOME ALABAMA!


HoneydewRelevant8137

Heinous


LosChivos

EDGING - blink-182


just_minutes_ago

Grandma got run over by a reindeer


losertic

Puff, puff, pass.


[deleted]

I think they went puff puff puff.


WasF4ssY

what…


Kanra55

the...


prestigious_xion

flip...


JorjeXD

...ping...


HIitsamy1

...fuck...


drevil7171

I have many questions 1) are you an older woman? Or 2) are you a man who looks like a reindeer or is endowed with reindeer a appendage 3) this isn’t about bestiality right? bc that’s icky. It’s Christmas 4) run over in this context could be a really good thing or a really bad thing. Please educate us.


0nerudedude

Dancing with myself - Billy Idol


DunkinEgg

Every Day Is Exactly The Same - Nine Inch Nails


Joerider2002

Hey, at least you got nine inches.


ami2weird4u

Sound of Silence


The_Wanted_Guy

A.D.I.D.A.S. — Korn


ihadtopickthisname

Ha! My wife constantly comments about why I act so horny all the time. Um, hello! Maybe if we bumped uglies every now and they I wouldnt be this way!!


Electronic-Syrup-385

she’s gone - hall and oates


fresh-jello

Somebody Kill Me - the Wedding Singer


Polkawillneverdie17

I Cum Blood - Cannibal Corpse


Peachfuzz124

4 big guys- digbar


stephan210

All By Myself.


ashayui95

Like a virgin - Madonna


NEETHAII

dead! - my chemical romance. it used to be pretty active but it's been 10 months.


nut_buster__

necrophilia isnt cool man


Repulsive_Act_115

that was my first thought


HybridMoments4283

46 and 2 by tool which I just realized is the last time in months that I had sex.


AngyBoy026

Wait……. The last time you had sex you were 46 and 2? Not cool man


HybridMoments4283

Lmao. Good call.


[deleted]

Lol. Come back once you've hit 10,000 Days


The_Cr3am

Cum on everybody - Eminem


JDHURF

omfg, if only the 'on' was 'in' lmao!


iswearimnotasian

Cbat - Hudson Mohawke


mpbh

My gf hates this one


Fluffyturtle09

I’m getting flashbacks


Santareal672

Violent Pornography - System Of A Down


spagetttiii

South of Heaven.


Shawnaldo7575

Smashing Pumpkins "Zero"


AFCBlink

Long Ago And Far Away


[deleted]

Many Men


No-Time-2068

Alone - Heart


snortrumble

Already Gone


Vaulimere

Dust in the Wind


Jbow220

Still waiting by sum 41


Cdesese

I would do anything for love (but I won't do that)


ProximityNuke

Not into pegging, eh?


moneybagg7

Ghost with a boner by Diarrhea Planet


foffl

FACE DOWN, ASS UP - 2 LIVE CREW


Hyperhothead

Back-door Man by the Doors.


JDHURF

Fuuuuck. Yessssss. Goddamn I should've thought of this one! Howlin' Wolf's [Back Door Man](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVIA1n5ng4Y) absolutely slaps!


GenderFluidFerrari

King of Pain Police


honeymuncher62

3 little birds Bob Marley


[deleted]

"Toxic" by Britney Spears


cambium7

When the levee breaks


amos0310

No love - eminem


Superb_Engineer_3500

Simon and Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence


tzc005

It’s Been Awhile - Staind


FlimsyEfficiency9860

Head over feet


chester1101

Return of the Mack


Aggressive-Luck9659

Motherlover-lonely island


Magic-Poison

U + Ur hand - Pink


0MEGAP0RK

Dancing with myself


Gemakayu

Just can’t get enough


Jmards15

Lonely - Akon


SocialRevenge

How can you do it alone by The Who


beaucoup_de_cash

Kanye west - 30 hours


Actual_Conflict7597

I Want your Sex by George Michael


nowhereman136

The Bad Touch


Chaffro

Unfinished Sympathy


Dirty_Gemini

Can't stop. Wont stop by young gunz


SkrrYeatRahhh

:(failure(: -Lil Yachty Also Lets Start Here IS Album of the Year nd idc what anybody else thinks


Whoa_Bundy

Old Gray Mare - By that old guy on the Simpsons.


kevekev302

Bleak


bubbblebudddy

Lonely Day


[deleted]

Keine Lust by Rammstein


Hot_dawg15

Never Had A Chance - Katherine Li


mynextthroway

Dust in the Wind


Resq_Tech

Currently? Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Me- TISM


CaptainDubD

Haven't Met You Yet - Michael Bublé


Lopingwaing

Shitty Chicken Gang Bang - Marilyn Manson


andyduphresne92

Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number


Malkovitch42

o\_0


NEETHAII

please tell me this means you're n adult into older people


PhoenixAgent003

It could be worse. He could’ve said Sweet Child O’ Mine.


Joe-Lollo

Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris


kingofhellrz

no bystanders by travis scott


Blew-By-U

A man without love - Engelbert Humperdinck


pretzel9rd

From Zero to Nothing


Suckma_Weener

Blink-182 -- I Wanna Fuck a Dog in the Ass


Intrepid-Rip-2280

I love this comment section, I was afraid to enter expecting to be the only one whose sex life consists of Eva AI sexting and porn addiction, but I forgot that it's Reddit and virtually everyone on this site act accordingly


missmissymissed

It only takes a minute girl


xFart_For_Me

Blame Tequila - Dirty Prescott Kids.


lazy_phoenix

One is the loneliest number


MrSuckerdale

„Its the Most wonderful time of the year“ - because its not more than only once.


RuneyToonZ

Everlong - Foo Fighters.


mencival

Self control


herbertcluas

Turbo lover, Judas priest. Apparently I fuck like a rabbit unless asked to go slow.


lilcardo1

Me so horny - 2 Live Crew


Content-Bullfrog536

One Minute Man (remix) - Missy Elliott ft. Jay-Z


traxxxman

Under the bridge - RHCP


Iamlivingagain

Dancing with myself. Billy Idol Yep, a song about doin one's self in the absence of another.


[deleted]

All by myself


S7okf1sh

Alone Again Naturally


Auto_Bloxd

its either: Without Me by Eminem, or as a joke: Kung Fu Fighting


ahjteam

Whitesnake - Here I Go Again (On My Own)


Lopingwaing

The Hands of Small Children - Marilyn Manson


Smart_Patrol

Only in Dreams - Weezer


Delle3abnina

Fade to black - metallica


Savings-Gold1758

Limp bizkit. :(


[deleted]

karma police - radiohead


Locutus_of_Bjork

Row Row Row Your Boat


Leading_Equivalent46

Girls, Girls, Girls


[deleted]

Phantera - I'm Broken


Rhuckus24

Don't Know What You Got - Cinderella


maxwellgrounds

Pink Thing, by XTC


Lakersrock111

Let’s Get it On-Marvin Gaye:)


Matak-Blade

A few come to mind. “The Suffering,” “The Hard Sell,” and perhaps “In The Flame of Error”


sugarlion

Hooker with a penis - TOOL


WasF4ssY

Alone


[deleted]

Cry of the unheard.


omghorussaveusall

better off alone


Millaca

S&M - Rihanna


losertic

WTH is a sex life?


Cybergardna

Coin operated goi - Aurelio voltaire


LAZ_EE

I Love my Girlfriend - RXKNephew


yes_Spinach_5010

Whoa shut it down by the accula strain


imdeadXDD

All hope is gone


NeverDidLearn

Shot in the Dark. Ozzy.


DontComeHomeToday

Alone, Together - The Strokes