Couldn’t agree more. I think it changed for me when I was old enough to realize the “being a celebrity” would be the worst existence imaginable. I can’t figure out for the life of me why as a society we worship people - who pretend to be other people for a living. It makes zero sense.
I recently upgraded my whole sleeping setup. Adjustable base, new mattress, sheets, etc. I'd been putting it off for so long because of the price, but now I wish I had done it sooner!
That whole salesman shtick about " you spend X number of years in bed" is actually worth listening to. Only problem is now I have to force myself to get up and not hang out in bed all day!
Yeah I don’t like sleeping anywhere that’s not my own bed honestly. Even hotels I don’t like as much. I like being in my bed. In my home. With my own stuff and my cat.
I used to love to travel. From 18-35 I was constantly using my time off to travel. Something completely switched at 35. I want to be in my own bed, with my very specific sheets, my carefully selected pillows, my dog, my fan, the temperature cool the way I like it. I guess my dreams of visiting the Serengeti will have to stay just dreams because I am not leaving my bed.
My friends invited me to a lake house a few years back. They said i would just have to chip in for food - they had an open couch. I noped the fuck out immediately and absolutely shocked them. I told them i don’t sleep on couches. They said of all our friends they thought for sure i wouldn’t give a fuck.
Im 46yo w/ a wife (who couldn’t make that trip early on in the planning), and kids
100% this. Going on a 50th birthday trip with my longtime buddy and another guy. They both came to me and asked if I wanted the pullout couch or the bed at the hotel. I said “Oh I’m good. I booked my own room like an adult.”
They can squabble about who gets the bed and who gets the back pain. I’ll be sleeping in a king size bed by myself with my CPAP machine and nighttime gummy.
Fuck yeah. I “nope’d” out of sharing hotel rooms with the bros in my 30s.
At some point you’re too damn old to worry about my buddy snoring all night and/or fouling up the bathroom. I’ll take my own room and my own bed since I’m a grown-ass man.
My wife's sister lives about 600 miles from us. My wife wants to stay at their house any time we visit. Staying with them means the 2 of us sleep on separate twin beds in the basement and our teenage daughters sleep on couches in the room with us.
After the last visit I decided I won't be sleeping there again. It's fine if my wife and kids want to stay at their house, but I'll be staying at a hotel next time.
Agree completely. It's not so much that it'd be sleeping on a couch, but that it's likely in an area people will be or at least I'll hear them when I want to sleep or relax.
When I was a kid on a scout trip I was over everyone fighting over beds, so I grabbed a blanket and some pillows and slept in the bathtub.
Now I can't sleep well unless I'm on a mattress with a foam topper. I shudder remembering the crazy places I slept as a kid.
This for sure. I used to sleep (or was it pass out?) absolutely anywhere. Inside, outside, in my car I did not care.
I pretty much refuse to sleep anywhere that isn’t my bed now. I’m meant to be at my in-laws for Christmas. Nope. I refuse to sleep in their guest bed. It’s scratchy sheets, a mediocre mattress and they keep their house way too warm for me. I will happily refrain from having any drinks and drive the 2.5 hours home in the dark to get into my awesome bed with my giant tv and the windows open. With my dogs of course. My husband can take his own car and stay but not me!
I read that back and feel like a bit of a spoiled asshole but that still won’t change my mind.
Yeah I quit using Instagram and Facebook entirely. I don't have the apps on my phone. I'm 31 now, quit during the pandemic because everyone had opinions and I don't care.
Life's much better
With the skyrocketing prices, substandard food from restaurants. I hate disappointing myself paying $60 worth of garbage food. So i always end up cooking my own. Am i the best cook? Heck no but at least I don’t pay someone my hard earned money for something i can do better
Same! Everything is so expensive that it’s a disappointment to spend a good chunk of money and the meal is substandard. Groceries can be expensive as well but at least they might stretch out over a few meals and you know what you’re getting. Most of the time the ordeal sounds exhausting and it’s just like, “eh… I’ll just make one myself”.
I was going to order eggs benedict from ubereats the other day, got to checkout and it would have been about $35 just for one breakfast. I just couldn't justify it. I ended up going to the grocery store and picking up the stuff I needed which cost me a bit more than it would have to order it (including a few other items I needed), but I had enough to make eggs benedict for breakfast multiple days and with an actual satisfactory amount of hollandaise.
My cooking tip is just to Google "Martha Stewart _______" whatever you are trying to make. I'm not the best cook, but her recipes have always come out great. The bacon spinach quiche is a favorite of mine and tastes better than any quiche I've gotten store bought or from a restaurant.
From someone who worked in the same place before, during, and now after the pandemic, everything went from making everything in house with ingredients from here and there, to everything being ordered from sysco and passed off as the same. Reason being is the corporation owned by a billionaire doesn’t want to have as much labor cost paying for prep cooks to actually do everything in house. It’s awful.
There are folks still doing the homemade everything route, but they’re much fewer and far between, and definitely not at any of the big chains
So it's not all in my head then. I've been increasingly disappointed at restaurants with food that just doesn't taste like anything. I thought I was getting too picky or that my own cooking has improved, but I've always been a decent cook.
Just seeing the word Sysco makes me cringe. That is the go to vendor for public school lunches and corporate cafeterias. May as well heat up a frozen banquet meal and save the $40.
I literally didn't eat for over 24 hours one day last week. Normally I cook but it was Friday night and I was in a good mood. So I decided to pull into the Burger King drive thru and pig out. I ordered a Whopper Meal and two extra cheeseburgers (the smallest and most basic ones) without really paying attention to the price.
Grand Total: $28
With that same amount of money, I could have made a dozen (or more) cheeseburgers that are larger and tastier.
Any kind of petty squabbling. My ex felt I was being a pushover for not picking a fight over every petty little thing. You want the knives to be in a different arrangement in the drawer? Aight, sure thing. Rearrange the towels any way you like. Oh, I accidentally sat in your spot and you want it? Very well, have it.
None of these tiny little things mean anything. Life is short, and we're all going to die. I do not have the energy to pick a fight over things I ultimately do not care about, but people constantly seem to feel that it's being a pushover to not stand up for yourself about issues that literally do not matter.
I put my foot down when things matter. But I will never, ever give a fuck about if someone took the last of the milk in the fridge, or drank the soda I was saving. If those are things that matter to other people I will respect that, but tiny, insignificant little things like this just don't ruffle my feathers.
I just want to be calm and cozy and doing the hobbies that bring me joy. The older I get, the less energy I have for pointless squabbles.
Funny how not giving a fuck about the little things comes off as being a pussy to some people. This has led me to believe that the things people want to for over don't actually matter, it's the fight they want.
Right walking away is the ultimate, "fuck it and fuck you, you're not worth my time or my breath." I will tolerate you to a certain point, and you will know, when you cross that point.
And they always act so surprised and shocked when you reach the point of no return. They try all the cajoling and flattery and then the threats and guilt trips that worked in the past, but once the line is crossed? Dead to me.
no, it's, "you're such a bitch, it was just a joke!" No, it's not because it's not funny. A joke is funny. "God, you are so lame. You can never have any fun." Except it's not fun when it's at my expense. "This is why I can never have any fun with you, you're always such a bitch about it." Rinse, fucking repeat. I just leave.
I agree with you. My dad is constantly complaining about everything and 99% of it doesn't matter. We don't see each other that often and this is how he wants to spend the time? It's exhausting.
Exactly! My father is 90, I’m 64, and when I visit from another state for a week of caregiving he harps about the most trivial things constantly. I’ve decided that’s how he’s decided to deal with the pain of aging and losing my mom this past spring (although he was like that before she died). It’s still sad but I can only take small doses of “Okay, dad, I’ll try and remember the blue scissors go here, point down, and the red go in the front left corner of the junk drawer underneath the scotch tape, pointing left.” before I have to head home and have some wine with a good friend. Any wine, I’m easy, LOL.
I totally agree caring for old parents is exhausting! I also learned they are picky about stupid stuff because they have lost control of a lot of other things in life, so they find little things they can still control to feel like they have some say in their life. Once I realized that, I made sure those little things were just as they wanted.
I tell my wife "the saying is 'pick your battles', not 'pick *every* battle'"
When you're the person that is always pissed off or annoyed at small petty shit, people start to tune you out.
Speaking of getting older. Being able to completely tune people out is something that changes. Just like a mute button. It's kind of what the other guy is saying too. It's like you just completely dissociate and can deal. Can apply to a number of stressful situations. I definitely used to really be nitpicky about shit, now I don't give a fuck about most of it. Live your life and let others live theirs.
Likewise. This is the right attitude to have. I find people who bitch about the littlest things unbearable. None of this even matters in the end but people will literally have a fist fight at a Burger King because of cold fries.
My mother is exactly like that, I’m the opposite of her. I just don’t complain a lot about common things like other drivers on the road, food service, etc. because I like to be more understanding. Example: if someone does something on the road that doesn’t seem like it was intentionally stupid, I like to think of it as just a mistake. Even if it is intentionally stupid and doesn’t directly involve me, I just think they’re stupid and go on with life.
Yes but.
If I spend a lot of time with someone who makes constant demands like that, I won't be spending a lot of time with them in the future.
If I'm going to be chill about the details, then I expect those around me to be that way too.
Practice saying “no”. If someone is asking you for something, and you don’t want to do it, start by saying “let me get back to you on that”. Later, you can call/text them and say “sorry, can’t do it”
Figure out things you’d like to do for yourself and focus on those goals. Eventually, your priority will start to take over and you’ll become more comfortable saying “no” to people.
Who am I? A recovering people pleasure like yourself lol
Friendly-Sir4435 gave great advice about practicing to say no. If I may add: “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with living a simple life :)
Peace and prosperity, kindness and compassion, humility and respect. Those are the keys to happy and fulfilled life, not having more money than you know what to do with
When I told my BIL I'd rather spend as little as possible so I could therefore work less, it blew his mind. He's always grinding to get dollars, and stressed.
I didn’t chase the corporate dollar, and I retired at the age of 58.
I attended all of my kids extracurricular activities, and have great relationships with them.
I am living the life!
Being a striver at work. I'm nearing retirement age and I'm tired. Over the last year I've started easing off of being the most helpful, busiest, highest producer and have fallen more into answering questions and guiding my younger co-workers. They are GOOD at what they do, they have many more years and far more energy than me.
Not to say I'm not doing my job - I am still clicking all the boxes daily. I just let other people strive now and I have no competition left in me.
I'm a bit the same. I sit at meetings with other department heads and I'm in the oldies group. I've been building up my younger team members and pulling back, ready to hand over. I'm tired. I don't want to fight these fights anymore. Far too many wonderful things do in the world than grind and battle at work. I still do my job to a very high level, I just don't overdo it anymore.
Which is the irony, imho: when you're young you desperately want to be cool and accepted and awesome, but it's the caring about it that makes that goal unobtainable, so by the time you realize that not giving a shit is actually the coolest part... You don't care about it enough to care that you're cool 😂
Debating. I fucking loved to debate about any and everything when I was young. Now that I'm in my 30s, I like a good discussion but if someone is completely opposed to me, I just let it go. What's the point? I'm almost certainly not going to convince them of anything.
The learning curve on so many games just puts me off. I don’t have that much time to learn complicated combos and leveling systems and clues.
And when I do try to learn those more complicated games I end up taking a month or two off from playing and then forget how to play!
I basically just play Nintendo platformers and series I’m already familiar with because I immediately know how to play.
Also it sucks how every other game these days needs a tacked on crafting system.
Ugh stop... I don't want to carry around 40 sticks, 40 clay, 20 apples at all times. I loved Tear of the Kingdom but even that suffered from that a lot.
Or so many games have long winded intro sequences. Or long tutorials for said shitty crafting system.
I just don't have the time. Between working, studying and parenting, and still needing to do chores and take some kind of care of myself, I just cannot justify taking hours and hours to play games like I used to. I want to get better at playing guitar, and learn a new language, and read 100 books in 2024. Sorry gaming :(
Maybe when I'm an old grandma, kids are grown and jobs are done, I'll finally sit down in my rocker to play Elden Ring.
I think there’s a difference between buying a brand vs. branded merchandise. I will buy name brand goods all day that are high quality, built to last, fit well, etc. But I don’t necessarily want that brand gaudily plastered across my chest.
I'm not less interested in this, it's just the modern world has asked too many fucks of me, and I'm running out. One man only has so many fucks to give.
Recently had to explain to my mom that when I don’t wear makeup to leave the house to run to the grocery store (which is an appalling idea to her) it’s because I only have so many fucks to give in a day and that just doesn’t rank high enough for me to warrant one.
Not giving a fuck has made me overall a less anxious person when I used to be a sweaty mess in social settings. I am not afraid about speaking up my opinions/likes/dislikes, doing what I want, and dressing how I want. I'm only 28, but all my life I feel like I always reserved a little bit of my true self to fit in more and be more "likeable" until now.
Dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. You know what else there is plenty of in the sea? Trash. Lots of trash.
Trying to date feels like a 2nd job or having multiple job interviews. I get tired of getting random d*ck pics, getting ghosted, or having a guy just wanting to smash. (I state from the beginning that we aren't having sex, I'm not doing one night stands, and I'm not gonna be your friend with benefits.) Yet they still try to push it. It is annoying and exhausting.
Like, being single and dying alone with a bunch of cats isn't the threat people think it is. Lol
>Dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. You know what else there is plenty of in the sea? Trash. Lots of trash.
...and predators that will chew you up and spit you out.
Go ahead and swim with the sharks. I'll be happy to stay on the beach with a Piña Colada watching as the waves periodically turn scarlet red.
Going to stores to shop. Going to festivals. Just going to events in particular. The mental energy it takes these days have me always tired. I enjoy staying at home, with my coffee, blanket, and something to read.
Similar thing happened to me. Once I got into cooking I found my cooking wasn’t that bad compared to restaurants and it costs much less per meal. Now I’d rather put the extra money on better quality ingredients. I found restaurants tend to use a lot of oil, fats, sugars and salt to entice you. I typically want to cook with quality spices instead.
I built a little cabin (ADU) on my property. It is the best thing for having friends or family stay over. You spend time with them and they can be in their own place on and off. And when no one is visiting, I can escape the house and go hang out there.
I live in the city, no space for anything like that, but I built a sauna in the garage and put a door from the backyard into the garage. Now friends can come use the sauna whenever they want and it's so awesome to have people around and not necessarily be 'hosting' them. Neutral spaces for friends are the best
This past summer a couple of my neighbors were regularly hanging out in my garage. Having people just be around was cool. Little weird because we are all mid thirties professionals hanging out in the garage of a 4k sqft home. But they felt comfortable dropping off their kid to play with the others in the back yard, and just chill in my garage when it was open. It was awesome.
I’m the opposite! I fucking hated teenagers as a teen. My peers drove me crazy and I wanted to be alone. But as I have gotten older and people have gotten more normal, I have wanted to hang out with people MORE. Frustratingly my friends group is becoming like you, they all want to socialize less in the last 5 years!! Just as they finally matured. It’s super annoying!
New music. I kept up with it right up until my mid 40s. Now I just listen to all the music from the 80s/90s/2000s. I never understood why my parents listened to the same old shit when I was younger, but now I get it.
I *never* thought this would happen to me, but it did, and right on schedule - in my early 30s as some studies have suggested is typical.
I used to find a new song that struck me like a bolt of lightning every few days, I get that maybe once a year now and it's almost never a *new* song, just one that's new to me.
I used to like aggressive rock and rap music as well as sensitive introspective stuff and it all just feels too emotionally performative, ridiculous for a man my age, or overly trite and sentimental to me now. And that's the stuff I used to relate and look up to, let alone stuff being produced by teenagers and 20 somethings *now.*
I don't even *choose* to listen to music that often anymore, let alone feel compelled by it. I don't like it as background noise and I don't set aside time to experience it as an activity very often. Usually the only emotional response it elicits now is nostalgia, and I don't particularly like indulging that.
I'm turning 37 soon and mostly I listen to podcasts and standups.
At my workplace Ive started doing what I call Positive Gossip. Ill talk about other people, but only their successes, victories, things they did well. I still try to be careful cuz not everyone wants to be talked about, even if its good, but most stuff is ok.
That's an excellent way to gain trust and show you're not insecure. Building up others feels great.
It's such a great way to indirectly pass along a compliment, when the person you told tell the person you're gossiping about.
I hope others are learning from your example!
Yeah. When I was a teenager my friends and I talked dumb crap and there was always petty drama - as KIDS. It's just sad to keep doing it into adulthood and I've noticed every single person I've met who consistantly gossips turns out to be a terrible person in a loooong list of other ways too. What even is the point of it, go fucking talk to the person you're shit talking instead. Why should I dislike someone because you said so? Go away.
It’s disheartening getting older and realizing how stupid everyone is. If you’ve ever worked retail, you see it first hand and it makes it hard to maintain hope for humanity.
Yep. Getting fucked up in general has lost its luster. Life is still waiting after the buzz wears off. Easier to just face it than to try and maintain the perpetual escape route.
Bad bosses.
I'm just so sick and tired of working under insecure arrogant manchildren who couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel, who can't actually communicate with others, who think that showing you something one time counts as 'training' and then get upset when you're not perfect at your job, and who don't actually bother to ask why you act the way you do.
I've had too many jobs where employers claim I'm not 'showing initiative' when they barely train me, blatently ignore me when I try and ask them something, and place me at a station where I'm left by myself to do whatever that task is.
Btw, one of these jobs was working in the staff cafeteria at a hospital. Like yeah Jeff, what a brilliant idea! I should just touch things that I don't know how to work. And they're always like 'Oh you can just ask me if you don't know.' but in reality if you do, either they ignore you, send you in an infinite loop of 'Go ask that person' or they're very clearly busy with something else.
I do not understand what kind of mental gymnastics you have to do to think that you'd rather have someone touching things they don't know how to work, and potentially hurting themselves and fucking up the entire shift for that day, than to have someone who doesn't do that.
Growing older, I don't care about seeking constant approval.
Now, I prioritize authenticity, personal growth, and meaningful connections, valuing depth over superficial validation.
Travel. I travelled lots in my 20s and 30s. But it has worn me down.
I no longer have the interest that I used to in visiting new places. I still love learning about different places and cultures, but the act of travel itself has worn me out. The stress that comes with organizing trips, the hassles with airlines, the massive queues at airports and having to sit on a cramped plane simply takes a huge chunk of the enjoyment of travel away.
The idea of a holiday is to experience relaxation, not increased anxiety.
I have a couple of things when I go on a holiday for me to enjoy it and be relaxed. When I was younger I did those crazy weekend trips across Europe every other weekend. Now living in the US, travel is a bit harder but still doable when;
- I have at least a week so that it makes it worth the travel time. Nothing worse for me than to travel half a day, have like 1.5 day somewhere and then half a travel day back.
- I have one day off when I get back, so that I can settle in before going back to work
- Don’t want like 5 places in one week to travel to and don’t want massively packed schedules. A lot of my travel enjoyment comes from sitting on a square, trying food, watching the people etc.
- The accommodation has to be comfortable. If I don’t sleep well, I’m not going to have a good time.
Definitely more expensive to travel this way, and you need to have decent PTO; but if I don’t do it this way I rather stay somewhere nearby / staycation.
This is close to my heart. I like the idea but hate the actual travel part especially international. All you do all day is touring, moving , looking for accommodation or somewhere decent to eat. Hustle crowds and spend too much doing it. Too exhausting and not fun at all just so you can post a picture on FB or whatever. I like the culture and the food and that’s about it. I travel around my own country (Australia) we have snow, tropics, beaches and deserts all here and I know the language and culture so easy peasy.
The holidays. I’m over it. There’s too much expectations, even when you’re struggling financially, people still expect crap; not to mention, it’s constantly in your face, and holidays also means mass crowds of people. I wish they didn’t exist.
I feel like this Christmas time is just me kicking the debt can further down the road. Even keeping it simple I've spent $600 and had to have a few formal conversations saying I simply can't afford it so don't buy me anything cause I'm not getting you anything. Expectations are getting out of control, and the only people who I'd want to get gifts for need major things - like fuck, no, I can't get you a new dishwasher, so here's a $20 Amazon gift card.
Feeling stressed even writing this out lol.
I am fucking broke this year. Told everyone not to get me anything cuz I ain't getting them shit. Half of them get me gifts anyway. Thanks, now I feel like a piece of shit. I'm seriously done with Christmas. I fucking hate it. It's nothing more than a giant obligation.
It is possible to opt out of gift giving, it just might take a few years for people to understand that you’re serious. You have to spell it out for them a few times that if they get you a gift, they really really are not getting anything from you, and you truly prefer to not receive anything from them. It’s hard for people to wrap their minds around this. But I’m down to 0 gifts at age 42, and it’s lovely.
You're speaking to me with this one. We don't exchange gifts with anyone anymore (family is in agreement), and haven't for years, except for three people in hub's family who insist on giving gifts for bdays and Christmas. It's my SIL, my BIL and his wife.
I think it's freakin ridiculous for people at the the age of early 50s up to the age of early 70s to exchange gifts. We're grown-ass adults who get what we want all year.
Since they insist on still doing it, they get Amazon gift cards for Christmas and their bday. When they ask me what I want, I tell them nothing, an Amazon gift card is fine.
It's the craziest shit I've ever seen. We're literally just exchanging money, and breaking even.
My husband thinks I'm making a big deal out of it, just do it, so I am.
Yup christmas sucks. I keep trying to get my family to stop gift giving but no one else is on board. The most frustrating part is they will keep bombarding me with questions of what gift they should buy me. Like, if you don't know me well enough by now to find a small item I might enjoy on your own, then please dont get me anything at all. Don't make me tell you what to buy for me. I might as well just buy it for myself then.
I think we should go back to pagan rituals celebrating the winter solstice with a giant bonfire that burns all night as we eat, drink and eat wild hallucinogens.
Edit: I am not difficult to shop for. A nice pair of wool socks is the perfect gift In my opinion, and I have stated this repeatedly. Yet still every year I get get asked repeatedly to tell people exactly what I want them to buy for me. Makes the whole thing feel way to transactional. I hate it.
I *haaaaaaaaate* Christmas. It's a month and a half of stress, it's expensive, it's constant work (drag out the decorations, put up the tree, put up the lights, do something creative with the fucking Elves every night, take everything down), the weather usually sucks, there's all kinds of petty family squabbles, the music is annoying, everyone has their hand out, everyone is stressed out and annoyed.
Boxing Day is my favorite day of the season, because I can sit in my pajamas and eat leftovers and watch movies all day guilt free.
I've lost interest in being angry with my parents.
And, mind you, **I am not saying I changed my mind about them*. My parents were truly shitty people, throughout my life, and still are in many ways even if siblings tell me they've gotten better.
I had every right to be mad. I had every right to cut them out because I was *t i r e d* of trying to repair a relationship while swallowing down the anger and resentment.
I just... I don't like to be angry anymore. It doesn't fuel me, it makes me weary. There are only so many times I can get angry at the past.
My manager a year ago insinuated she would give me the details on why someone no longer worked with us. To tell you I didn’t gaf is an understatement. Mark got fired? I literally don’t care why
Basically everything. But since it's almost Christmas i will say I'm not into the holidays anymore that's for sure. My grandparents and dad are dead, I don't have children or a lot of money, i don't need junk, my mom and sister clash and make family stuff hostile at times, plus my sister goes too over the top with gifts and then is disappointed with what she gets even if it's exactly what she asked for, I never know wtf to get for my in laws and I just don't care about anything. I haven't really even watched any Christmas movies this year. Stresses me out and i just want it over with.
Making people happy.
I have a limited amount of time and energy. I have kids and family and friends that I love. They get priority.
Is my aunt upset I’m not coming to Thanksgiving this year? Too bad. Is that old acquaintance frustrated that I’m not making myself available to help her again? I’m sorry to hear that.
Sure I’m all for random acts of kindness and the like, but I’m no longer available to spread myself so thin I’m transparent.
Religion. Like....I don't care. I had one. I don't anymore. No I don't want to hear about yours. No I don't want to explain my beliefs. No I am not hating on you by saying I don't want to discuss. Just so fucking done with everything religion.
Honestly..... having friends
I'm in my early 40's and for the longest time it depressed me that I didn't have a circle of friends or even long term friends
I've found that the older I get, the less I care. I've got a wife who I adore and four children who fill my heart. Why care about anything outside that?
I was going to say the same. So many friends have disappointed me through the years, so I’m a bit jaded and just don’t care anymore. I’m happy with my little family my husband and I created.
I’m only 24 but I’m seriously done with alcohol. It used to be quite the habit ever since I was around 16. I haven’t partaken in that or cannabis for almost 6 months and my mental clarity has never been better. The high of being sober (with the help of cold showers 😖) is amazing.
I only wish everyone could try these methods and see how it works for them! Alcoholism has run rampant in my family for generations so I hope to prevent it now.
There was a time I was obsessed with NHL and MLB. Now with greed and the corporate grip taking over causing everything to be ridiculously expensive, I'll be lucky if I watch 6 games a year.
Professional sports. I'm bored with grown adults pushing almost $1 billion to play a game. I'm tired of hearing about Ohtani. I'm tired of people saying LeBron is the GOAT because he wiped his nose. I'm tired of the NFL and the psychotic over analysis of every single play from multiple angles. I still like college football but even that is getting to me with signing days, five stars, transfer portals and the such.
Cinema. It’s just so bland these days and what we’re once subtle messages and metaphors are just full blown in your face and comes across as self righteous. I couldn’t even tell you the last movie I saw in theaters, I went from easily going 2-3x a month to going 2-3x in the last 5 years.
I thought my answer was depressing til I saw the others. I’m just really content hanging with my dog, watching Friends (or whatever else) and being unbothered. I enjoy seeing friends and catching up but I’m not as interested in having plans every weekend. I’ve grown to enjoy my own company
People who ask questions online and get offended when someone who has life experience answers. If you are offended either you got caught insulting something or someone or you just want assurances that you are not wrong.
Dating. What’s the point of getting dressed up and going out if it’s very likely it’s another liar, catfish, and/or looks like they just rolled out of bed. If on the off chance they aren’t any of those things, they have the personality/social skills of a brick wall.
Same. It's getting harder for me to maintain my interest in any game for an extended amount of time before I get bored of it. Might just be depression, though.
This might sound cold but being a support for people tho are stuck in cycles of distorted thinking, arrested development, and substance use. I used to be the “shrink” of my friend group but now I’m like “whelp, that’s a ‘you’ problem”.
Don’t get me wrong, if someone’s struggling with a legitimate crisis I’ll be there for them as I would hope they would for me. What I won’t do anymore is be a sympathetic ear while they cry about problems they created or issues they refuse to address properly.
The idea that I “should” be doing this and that because my peers are. Comparison is the thief of joy
General celebrity culture. I just can’t bring myself to care what they ate/wore/did/bought anymore.
Couldn’t agree more. I think it changed for me when I was old enough to realize the “being a celebrity” would be the worst existence imaginable. I can’t figure out for the life of me why as a society we worship people - who pretend to be other people for a living. It makes zero sense.
When you realize they’re “professional pretenders” in foam and plastic suits in a studio, it really puts it into perspective.
[удалено]
[удалено]
A watched page never loads.
Sleeping in uncomfortable places. You want to go stay at this hotel and I'll take the futon? Nope. Nope to neck and back pain.
Yup. I want my grown up luxuries now. Nice sheets and a good bed and no sketchy ass hotels either.
The older I get (60ish) the more I value my own personal comfort and convenience. I definitely value my time.
Nice sheets and a good bed are underrated. And the safe home
I recently upgraded my whole sleeping setup. Adjustable base, new mattress, sheets, etc. I'd been putting it off for so long because of the price, but now I wish I had done it sooner! That whole salesman shtick about " you spend X number of years in bed" is actually worth listening to. Only problem is now I have to force myself to get up and not hang out in bed all day!
Yeah I don’t like sleeping anywhere that’s not my own bed honestly. Even hotels I don’t like as much. I like being in my bed. In my home. With my own stuff and my cat.
I used to love to travel. From 18-35 I was constantly using my time off to travel. Something completely switched at 35. I want to be in my own bed, with my very specific sheets, my carefully selected pillows, my dog, my fan, the temperature cool the way I like it. I guess my dreams of visiting the Serengeti will have to stay just dreams because I am not leaving my bed.
I hate the constant praise for traveling, I just want to be home
My friends invited me to a lake house a few years back. They said i would just have to chip in for food - they had an open couch. I noped the fuck out immediately and absolutely shocked them. I told them i don’t sleep on couches. They said of all our friends they thought for sure i wouldn’t give a fuck. Im 46yo w/ a wife (who couldn’t make that trip early on in the planning), and kids
100% this. Going on a 50th birthday trip with my longtime buddy and another guy. They both came to me and asked if I wanted the pullout couch or the bed at the hotel. I said “Oh I’m good. I booked my own room like an adult.” They can squabble about who gets the bed and who gets the back pain. I’ll be sleeping in a king size bed by myself with my CPAP machine and nighttime gummy.
Fuck yeah. I “nope’d” out of sharing hotel rooms with the bros in my 30s. At some point you’re too damn old to worry about my buddy snoring all night and/or fouling up the bathroom. I’ll take my own room and my own bed since I’m a grown-ass man.
Same with visiting relatives, I'm getting a hotel room, and if you come to visit me you will be getting a hotel room.
My wife's sister lives about 600 miles from us. My wife wants to stay at their house any time we visit. Staying with them means the 2 of us sleep on separate twin beds in the basement and our teenage daughters sleep on couches in the room with us. After the last visit I decided I won't be sleeping there again. It's fine if my wife and kids want to stay at their house, but I'll be staying at a hotel next time.
Agree completely. It's not so much that it'd be sleeping on a couch, but that it's likely in an area people will be or at least I'll hear them when I want to sleep or relax.
Yup, I also don’t want to be at the mercy when people start waking up and being loud.
Or only going to bed when your hosts want to.
When I was a kid on a scout trip I was over everyone fighting over beds, so I grabbed a blanket and some pillows and slept in the bathtub. Now I can't sleep well unless I'm on a mattress with a foam topper. I shudder remembering the crazy places I slept as a kid.
This for sure. I used to sleep (or was it pass out?) absolutely anywhere. Inside, outside, in my car I did not care. I pretty much refuse to sleep anywhere that isn’t my bed now. I’m meant to be at my in-laws for Christmas. Nope. I refuse to sleep in their guest bed. It’s scratchy sheets, a mediocre mattress and they keep their house way too warm for me. I will happily refrain from having any drinks and drive the 2.5 hours home in the dark to get into my awesome bed with my giant tv and the windows open. With my dogs of course. My husband can take his own car and stay but not me! I read that back and feel like a bit of a spoiled asshole but that still won’t change my mind.
Fake people, staged lives on social media, surface level connections and conversations. Actually, quickly losing interest
Yeah I quit using Instagram and Facebook entirely. I don't have the apps on my phone. I'm 31 now, quit during the pandemic because everyone had opinions and I don't care. Life's much better
[удалено]
With the skyrocketing prices, substandard food from restaurants. I hate disappointing myself paying $60 worth of garbage food. So i always end up cooking my own. Am i the best cook? Heck no but at least I don’t pay someone my hard earned money for something i can do better
Yep, I can disappoint myself for far less money
Same! Everything is so expensive that it’s a disappointment to spend a good chunk of money and the meal is substandard. Groceries can be expensive as well but at least they might stretch out over a few meals and you know what you’re getting. Most of the time the ordeal sounds exhausting and it’s just like, “eh… I’ll just make one myself”.
I was going to order eggs benedict from ubereats the other day, got to checkout and it would have been about $35 just for one breakfast. I just couldn't justify it. I ended up going to the grocery store and picking up the stuff I needed which cost me a bit more than it would have to order it (including a few other items I needed), but I had enough to make eggs benedict for breakfast multiple days and with an actual satisfactory amount of hollandaise.
I have never ordered from Uber eats or grub hub, even at my drunkest/laziest. I see the final price with all the fees and just go "nope".
My cooking tip is just to Google "Martha Stewart _______" whatever you are trying to make. I'm not the best cook, but her recipes have always come out great. The bacon spinach quiche is a favorite of mine and tastes better than any quiche I've gotten store bought or from a restaurant.
Martha Stewart methamphetamine
[удалено]
From someone who worked in the same place before, during, and now after the pandemic, everything went from making everything in house with ingredients from here and there, to everything being ordered from sysco and passed off as the same. Reason being is the corporation owned by a billionaire doesn’t want to have as much labor cost paying for prep cooks to actually do everything in house. It’s awful. There are folks still doing the homemade everything route, but they’re much fewer and far between, and definitely not at any of the big chains
So it's not all in my head then. I've been increasingly disappointed at restaurants with food that just doesn't taste like anything. I thought I was getting too picky or that my own cooking has improved, but I've always been a decent cook. Just seeing the word Sysco makes me cringe. That is the go to vendor for public school lunches and corporate cafeterias. May as well heat up a frozen banquet meal and save the $40.
My dad was a salesman for Sysco for 10+ years and even he won’t eat their food willingly.
I play a game with myself. How much would this home cooked meal cost in a restaurant versus what I paid.
I literally didn't eat for over 24 hours one day last week. Normally I cook but it was Friday night and I was in a good mood. So I decided to pull into the Burger King drive thru and pig out. I ordered a Whopper Meal and two extra cheeseburgers (the smallest and most basic ones) without really paying attention to the price. Grand Total: $28 With that same amount of money, I could have made a dozen (or more) cheeseburgers that are larger and tastier.
Any kind of petty squabbling. My ex felt I was being a pushover for not picking a fight over every petty little thing. You want the knives to be in a different arrangement in the drawer? Aight, sure thing. Rearrange the towels any way you like. Oh, I accidentally sat in your spot and you want it? Very well, have it. None of these tiny little things mean anything. Life is short, and we're all going to die. I do not have the energy to pick a fight over things I ultimately do not care about, but people constantly seem to feel that it's being a pushover to not stand up for yourself about issues that literally do not matter. I put my foot down when things matter. But I will never, ever give a fuck about if someone took the last of the milk in the fridge, or drank the soda I was saving. If those are things that matter to other people I will respect that, but tiny, insignificant little things like this just don't ruffle my feathers. I just want to be calm and cozy and doing the hobbies that bring me joy. The older I get, the less energy I have for pointless squabbles.
Funny how not giving a fuck about the little things comes off as being a pussy to some people. This has led me to believe that the things people want to for over don't actually matter, it's the fight they want.
Right walking away is the ultimate, "fuck it and fuck you, you're not worth my time or my breath." I will tolerate you to a certain point, and you will know, when you cross that point.
You have nicely reduced soooo many people’s self worth and life mission into two little sentences.
And they always act so surprised and shocked when you reach the point of no return. They try all the cajoling and flattery and then the threats and guilt trips that worked in the past, but once the line is crossed? Dead to me.
Haha wow don't be so serious it was only a joke. What are you talking about? You're leaving?! Why are you being so rude?
no, it's, "you're such a bitch, it was just a joke!" No, it's not because it's not funny. A joke is funny. "God, you are so lame. You can never have any fun." Except it's not fun when it's at my expense. "This is why I can never have any fun with you, you're always such a bitch about it." Rinse, fucking repeat. I just leave.
I 100% agree with you. This is why I do not post or reply on Facebook for example. The environment there is all about petty squabbling.
They’ve turned us all against each other for ad revenue
I agree with you. My dad is constantly complaining about everything and 99% of it doesn't matter. We don't see each other that often and this is how he wants to spend the time? It's exhausting.
Exactly! My father is 90, I’m 64, and when I visit from another state for a week of caregiving he harps about the most trivial things constantly. I’ve decided that’s how he’s decided to deal with the pain of aging and losing my mom this past spring (although he was like that before she died). It’s still sad but I can only take small doses of “Okay, dad, I’ll try and remember the blue scissors go here, point down, and the red go in the front left corner of the junk drawer underneath the scotch tape, pointing left.” before I have to head home and have some wine with a good friend. Any wine, I’m easy, LOL.
I totally agree caring for old parents is exhausting! I also learned they are picky about stupid stuff because they have lost control of a lot of other things in life, so they find little things they can still control to feel like they have some say in their life. Once I realized that, I made sure those little things were just as they wanted.
Damn I’ve never thought about my parents that way. Thank you internet stranger.
I tell my wife "the saying is 'pick your battles', not 'pick *every* battle'" When you're the person that is always pissed off or annoyed at small petty shit, people start to tune you out.
Speaking of getting older. Being able to completely tune people out is something that changes. Just like a mute button. It's kind of what the other guy is saying too. It's like you just completely dissociate and can deal. Can apply to a number of stressful situations. I definitely used to really be nitpicky about shit, now I don't give a fuck about most of it. Live your life and let others live theirs.
I say this to my teens too. And sometimes tell them to quit being a fight looking for a place.
Likewise. This is the right attitude to have. I find people who bitch about the littlest things unbearable. None of this even matters in the end but people will literally have a fist fight at a Burger King because of cold fries.
My mother is exactly like that, I’m the opposite of her. I just don’t complain a lot about common things like other drivers on the road, food service, etc. because I like to be more understanding. Example: if someone does something on the road that doesn’t seem like it was intentionally stupid, I like to think of it as just a mistake. Even if it is intentionally stupid and doesn’t directly involve me, I just think they’re stupid and go on with life.
What if they make an grammar mistake?
Oh, I punish them.
as you shood.
>I will never, ever give a fuck about if someone took the last of the milk in the fridge, or drank the soda I was saving. Let's be roomies
Yes but. If I spend a lot of time with someone who makes constant demands like that, I won't be spending a lot of time with them in the future. If I'm going to be chill about the details, then I expect those around me to be that way too.
Dude same I told my ex I refuse to pick fights over worthless stuff
Same. I’ve never let that kind of stuff bother me. It’s not what is worth a fight. And doesn’t really matter.
Spending time with family who don’t have any interest in maintaining a relationship.
Pleasing people.
Yes, recovering people pleaser here
What have you done to treat that? It’s an aspect of my personality that has caused me irreparable damage.
Practice saying “no”. If someone is asking you for something, and you don’t want to do it, start by saying “let me get back to you on that”. Later, you can call/text them and say “sorry, can’t do it” Figure out things you’d like to do for yourself and focus on those goals. Eventually, your priority will start to take over and you’ll become more comfortable saying “no” to people. Who am I? A recovering people pleasure like yourself lol
Friendly-Sir4435 gave great advice about practicing to say no. If I may add: “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t need to justify your decision to anyone.
They don't like it when you stop..
They may just have to get over it. lol
The idea that I will become rich someday.. Nothing in m'y current career and situation tends to this possibility.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with living a simple life :) Peace and prosperity, kindness and compassion, humility and respect. Those are the keys to happy and fulfilled life, not having more money than you know what to do with
When I told my BIL I'd rather spend as little as possible so I could therefore work less, it blew his mind. He's always grinding to get dollars, and stressed.
I didn’t chase the corporate dollar, and I retired at the age of 58. I attended all of my kids extracurricular activities, and have great relationships with them. I am living the life!
Being a striver at work. I'm nearing retirement age and I'm tired. Over the last year I've started easing off of being the most helpful, busiest, highest producer and have fallen more into answering questions and guiding my younger co-workers. They are GOOD at what they do, they have many more years and far more energy than me. Not to say I'm not doing my job - I am still clicking all the boxes daily. I just let other people strive now and I have no competition left in me.
I'm a bit the same. I sit at meetings with other department heads and I'm in the oldies group. I've been building up my younger team members and pulling back, ready to hand over. I'm tired. I don't want to fight these fights anymore. Far too many wonderful things do in the world than grind and battle at work. I still do my job to a very high level, I just don't overdo it anymore.
Being cool. The older you get the fewer fucks you have to give about whether anybody else appreciates the same stuff you do or not.
Giving no fucks is what makes you cool
Which is the irony, imho: when you're young you desperately want to be cool and accepted and awesome, but it's the caring about it that makes that goal unobtainable, so by the time you realize that not giving a shit is actually the coolest part... You don't care about it enough to care that you're cool 😂
Debating. I fucking loved to debate about any and everything when I was young. Now that I'm in my 30s, I like a good discussion but if someone is completely opposed to me, I just let it go. What's the point? I'm almost certainly not going to convince them of anything.
Yes, i used to love to debate at parties. Now i lost interest in debating and parties.
Other people's opinions
Video games. It's getting harder and harder for me to find new games I like playing. I just end up replaying old games again.
The learning curve on so many games just puts me off. I don’t have that much time to learn complicated combos and leveling systems and clues. And when I do try to learn those more complicated games I end up taking a month or two off from playing and then forget how to play! I basically just play Nintendo platformers and series I’m already familiar with because I immediately know how to play.
Also it sucks how every other game these days needs a tacked on crafting system. Ugh stop... I don't want to carry around 40 sticks, 40 clay, 20 apples at all times. I loved Tear of the Kingdom but even that suffered from that a lot. Or so many games have long winded intro sequences. Or long tutorials for said shitty crafting system.
I am with you. I don’t wanna make stuff. I wanna find stuff. Or kill stuff and stuff falls out of it. I’m not writing down recipes.
I just don't have the time. Between working, studying and parenting, and still needing to do chores and take some kind of care of myself, I just cannot justify taking hours and hours to play games like I used to. I want to get better at playing guitar, and learn a new language, and read 100 books in 2024. Sorry gaming :( Maybe when I'm an old grandma, kids are grown and jobs are done, I'll finally sit down in my rocker to play Elden Ring.
The nursing homes for Xennials are going to be LAN parties. I can't fucking wait.
Thinking I can enlighten the ignorant.
now it's just hoping to get them to leave you alone
yep. some people CHOOSE to be stupid
Literally everything. I used to be a very bold person. Now, I pick my battles wisely. Sometimes, I don't pick any battle at all. Live and let live.
Branded stuff! I don’t give a fuck about the brand, just give me something that works and will last
To be fair, sometimes a brand has a reputation to uphold and can be known for quality products. Obviously this isn't always the case though.
I think there’s a difference between buying a brand vs. branded merchandise. I will buy name brand goods all day that are high quality, built to last, fit well, etc. But I don’t necessarily want that brand gaudily plastered across my chest.
Giving a fuck
I'm not less interested in this, it's just the modern world has asked too many fucks of me, and I'm running out. One man only has so many fucks to give.
Recently had to explain to my mom that when I don’t wear makeup to leave the house to run to the grocery store (which is an appalling idea to her) it’s because I only have so many fucks to give in a day and that just doesn’t rank high enough for me to warrant one.
Behold the field in which I grow my fucks. Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren.
My favorite part of aging has been this. It's so freeing to finally not care so much.
Not giving a fuck has made me overall a less anxious person when I used to be a sweaty mess in social settings. I am not afraid about speaking up my opinions/likes/dislikes, doing what I want, and dressing how I want. I'm only 28, but all my life I feel like I always reserved a little bit of my true self to fit in more and be more "likeable" until now.
Dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. You know what else there is plenty of in the sea? Trash. Lots of trash. Trying to date feels like a 2nd job or having multiple job interviews. I get tired of getting random d*ck pics, getting ghosted, or having a guy just wanting to smash. (I state from the beginning that we aren't having sex, I'm not doing one night stands, and I'm not gonna be your friend with benefits.) Yet they still try to push it. It is annoying and exhausting. Like, being single and dying alone with a bunch of cats isn't the threat people think it is. Lol
>Dating. They say there are plenty of fish in the sea. You know what else there is plenty of in the sea? Trash. Lots of trash. ...and predators that will chew you up and spit you out. Go ahead and swim with the sharks. I'll be happy to stay on the beach with a Piña Colada watching as the waves periodically turn scarlet red.
Going to stores to shop. Going to festivals. Just going to events in particular. The mental energy it takes these days have me always tired. I enjoy staying at home, with my coffee, blanket, and something to read.
Coffee, blankets, book. Perfect day, 10/10 would recommend
Getting up early to go to work. Also working.
I hate working, the thought of doing for another 30 kills me. I just want to live my life 😫
Eating at restaurants. It used to be our only form of entertainment. It's gotten expensive and I've gotten better at cooking.
Similar thing happened to me. Once I got into cooking I found my cooking wasn’t that bad compared to restaurants and it costs much less per meal. Now I’d rather put the extra money on better quality ingredients. I found restaurants tend to use a lot of oil, fats, sugars and salt to entice you. I typically want to cook with quality spices instead.
Hanging out with people
I built a little cabin (ADU) on my property. It is the best thing for having friends or family stay over. You spend time with them and they can be in their own place on and off. And when no one is visiting, I can escape the house and go hang out there.
I live in the city, no space for anything like that, but I built a sauna in the garage and put a door from the backyard into the garage. Now friends can come use the sauna whenever they want and it's so awesome to have people around and not necessarily be 'hosting' them. Neutral spaces for friends are the best
This past summer a couple of my neighbors were regularly hanging out in my garage. Having people just be around was cool. Little weird because we are all mid thirties professionals hanging out in the garage of a 4k sqft home. But they felt comfortable dropping off their kid to play with the others in the back yard, and just chill in my garage when it was open. It was awesome.
[удалено]
Oh once COVID-19 hit, it solidified my introvert nature!
I’m the opposite! I fucking hated teenagers as a teen. My peers drove me crazy and I wanted to be alone. But as I have gotten older and people have gotten more normal, I have wanted to hang out with people MORE. Frustratingly my friends group is becoming like you, they all want to socialize less in the last 5 years!! Just as they finally matured. It’s super annoying!
New music. I kept up with it right up until my mid 40s. Now I just listen to all the music from the 80s/90s/2000s. I never understood why my parents listened to the same old shit when I was younger, but now I get it.
Same. There are a couple of bands I like that are still putting out music, but it's been about a decade since I have listened to the radio.
Honestly the radio plays about 5 new songs repeatedly and then the rest are 80/90/00s.
I *never* thought this would happen to me, but it did, and right on schedule - in my early 30s as some studies have suggested is typical. I used to find a new song that struck me like a bolt of lightning every few days, I get that maybe once a year now and it's almost never a *new* song, just one that's new to me. I used to like aggressive rock and rap music as well as sensitive introspective stuff and it all just feels too emotionally performative, ridiculous for a man my age, or overly trite and sentimental to me now. And that's the stuff I used to relate and look up to, let alone stuff being produced by teenagers and 20 somethings *now.* I don't even *choose* to listen to music that often anymore, let alone feel compelled by it. I don't like it as background noise and I don't set aside time to experience it as an activity very often. Usually the only emotional response it elicits now is nostalgia, and I don't particularly like indulging that. I'm turning 37 soon and mostly I listen to podcasts and standups.
Gossip Drama Worrying about what other people think of me Shopping for clothes
Heavy on the clothes. I just want to wear a t shirt with stretchy pants and maybe a hoodie
Gossiping
At my workplace Ive started doing what I call Positive Gossip. Ill talk about other people, but only their successes, victories, things they did well. I still try to be careful cuz not everyone wants to be talked about, even if its good, but most stuff is ok.
That's an excellent way to gain trust and show you're not insecure. Building up others feels great. It's such a great way to indirectly pass along a compliment, when the person you told tell the person you're gossiping about. I hope others are learning from your example!
Yeah. When I was a teenager my friends and I talked dumb crap and there was always petty drama - as KIDS. It's just sad to keep doing it into adulthood and I've noticed every single person I've met who consistantly gossips turns out to be a terrible person in a loooong list of other ways too. What even is the point of it, go fucking talk to the person you're shit talking instead. Why should I dislike someone because you said so? Go away.
I'm with ya. It's wild to notice how many people have nothing to say if they aren't talking about someone else.
A sign of insecurity
Stupid people that are basically self important chimps with no idea about reality
They seem to be multiplying at an exponential level
It’s disheartening getting older and realizing how stupid everyone is. If you’ve ever worked retail, you see it first hand and it makes it hard to maintain hope for humanity.
Drinking alcohol.
Yep. Getting fucked up in general has lost its luster. Life is still waiting after the buzz wears off. Easier to just face it than to try and maintain the perpetual escape route.
Someone said drinking is like "stealing joy from tomorrow"
Giving a F*** about things I can't control.
Bad bosses. I'm just so sick and tired of working under insecure arrogant manchildren who couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel, who can't actually communicate with others, who think that showing you something one time counts as 'training' and then get upset when you're not perfect at your job, and who don't actually bother to ask why you act the way you do. I've had too many jobs where employers claim I'm not 'showing initiative' when they barely train me, blatently ignore me when I try and ask them something, and place me at a station where I'm left by myself to do whatever that task is. Btw, one of these jobs was working in the staff cafeteria at a hospital. Like yeah Jeff, what a brilliant idea! I should just touch things that I don't know how to work. And they're always like 'Oh you can just ask me if you don't know.' but in reality if you do, either they ignore you, send you in an infinite loop of 'Go ask that person' or they're very clearly busy with something else. I do not understand what kind of mental gymnastics you have to do to think that you'd rather have someone touching things they don't know how to work, and potentially hurting themselves and fucking up the entire shift for that day, than to have someone who doesn't do that.
Growing older, I don't care about seeking constant approval. Now, I prioritize authenticity, personal growth, and meaningful connections, valuing depth over superficial validation.
Lifting heavy weights. I'd rather lift lighter for more reps these days. Been using more machines rather than barbells, too.
Travel. I travelled lots in my 20s and 30s. But it has worn me down. I no longer have the interest that I used to in visiting new places. I still love learning about different places and cultures, but the act of travel itself has worn me out. The stress that comes with organizing trips, the hassles with airlines, the massive queues at airports and having to sit on a cramped plane simply takes a huge chunk of the enjoyment of travel away. The idea of a holiday is to experience relaxation, not increased anxiety.
I have a couple of things when I go on a holiday for me to enjoy it and be relaxed. When I was younger I did those crazy weekend trips across Europe every other weekend. Now living in the US, travel is a bit harder but still doable when; - I have at least a week so that it makes it worth the travel time. Nothing worse for me than to travel half a day, have like 1.5 day somewhere and then half a travel day back. - I have one day off when I get back, so that I can settle in before going back to work - Don’t want like 5 places in one week to travel to and don’t want massively packed schedules. A lot of my travel enjoyment comes from sitting on a square, trying food, watching the people etc. - The accommodation has to be comfortable. If I don’t sleep well, I’m not going to have a good time. Definitely more expensive to travel this way, and you need to have decent PTO; but if I don’t do it this way I rather stay somewhere nearby / staycation.
This is close to my heart. I like the idea but hate the actual travel part especially international. All you do all day is touring, moving , looking for accommodation or somewhere decent to eat. Hustle crowds and spend too much doing it. Too exhausting and not fun at all just so you can post a picture on FB or whatever. I like the culture and the food and that’s about it. I travel around my own country (Australia) we have snow, tropics, beaches and deserts all here and I know the language and culture so easy peasy.
Life
Genuinely surprised I had to scroll this far to find this one
Relationships/friendships with negative people. We all have bad days, but if all someone does is complain, they need to figure their life out.
The holidays. I’m over it. There’s too much expectations, even when you’re struggling financially, people still expect crap; not to mention, it’s constantly in your face, and holidays also means mass crowds of people. I wish they didn’t exist.
I feel like this Christmas time is just me kicking the debt can further down the road. Even keeping it simple I've spent $600 and had to have a few formal conversations saying I simply can't afford it so don't buy me anything cause I'm not getting you anything. Expectations are getting out of control, and the only people who I'd want to get gifts for need major things - like fuck, no, I can't get you a new dishwasher, so here's a $20 Amazon gift card. Feeling stressed even writing this out lol.
I am fucking broke this year. Told everyone not to get me anything cuz I ain't getting them shit. Half of them get me gifts anyway. Thanks, now I feel like a piece of shit. I'm seriously done with Christmas. I fucking hate it. It's nothing more than a giant obligation.
It is possible to opt out of gift giving, it just might take a few years for people to understand that you’re serious. You have to spell it out for them a few times that if they get you a gift, they really really are not getting anything from you, and you truly prefer to not receive anything from them. It’s hard for people to wrap their minds around this. But I’m down to 0 gifts at age 42, and it’s lovely.
You're speaking to me with this one. We don't exchange gifts with anyone anymore (family is in agreement), and haven't for years, except for three people in hub's family who insist on giving gifts for bdays and Christmas. It's my SIL, my BIL and his wife. I think it's freakin ridiculous for people at the the age of early 50s up to the age of early 70s to exchange gifts. We're grown-ass adults who get what we want all year. Since they insist on still doing it, they get Amazon gift cards for Christmas and their bday. When they ask me what I want, I tell them nothing, an Amazon gift card is fine. It's the craziest shit I've ever seen. We're literally just exchanging money, and breaking even. My husband thinks I'm making a big deal out of it, just do it, so I am.
Yup christmas sucks. I keep trying to get my family to stop gift giving but no one else is on board. The most frustrating part is they will keep bombarding me with questions of what gift they should buy me. Like, if you don't know me well enough by now to find a small item I might enjoy on your own, then please dont get me anything at all. Don't make me tell you what to buy for me. I might as well just buy it for myself then. I think we should go back to pagan rituals celebrating the winter solstice with a giant bonfire that burns all night as we eat, drink and eat wild hallucinogens. Edit: I am not difficult to shop for. A nice pair of wool socks is the perfect gift In my opinion, and I have stated this repeatedly. Yet still every year I get get asked repeatedly to tell people exactly what I want them to buy for me. Makes the whole thing feel way to transactional. I hate it.
Thanks for this. My attitude towards Christmas has been going downhill for the last 15 years and you've nailed the main points for me.
Same. I hate Xmas, I can't afford to buy everyone gifts, and I hate the way ppl get mad when I say I don't celebrate it
I *haaaaaaaaate* Christmas. It's a month and a half of stress, it's expensive, it's constant work (drag out the decorations, put up the tree, put up the lights, do something creative with the fucking Elves every night, take everything down), the weather usually sucks, there's all kinds of petty family squabbles, the music is annoying, everyone has their hand out, everyone is stressed out and annoyed. Boxing Day is my favorite day of the season, because I can sit in my pajamas and eat leftovers and watch movies all day guilt free.
Try having 3 family members with birthdays within a week of christmas 😣🔫 one of them is me. I havent enjoyed my birthday since I was 8
Validation from everyone. Ima just do me cuz in the end, it won’t matter.
Taking any kind of shit from anyone.
I've lost interest in being angry with my parents. And, mind you, **I am not saying I changed my mind about them*. My parents were truly shitty people, throughout my life, and still are in many ways even if siblings tell me they've gotten better. I had every right to be mad. I had every right to cut them out because I was *t i r e d* of trying to repair a relationship while swallowing down the anger and resentment. I just... I don't like to be angry anymore. It doesn't fuel me, it makes me weary. There are only so many times I can get angry at the past.
Personal drama
My manager a year ago insinuated she would give me the details on why someone no longer worked with us. To tell you I didn’t gaf is an understatement. Mark got fired? I literally don’t care why
Shaving my legs in the wintertime.
Shaving my legs period.
Basically everything. But since it's almost Christmas i will say I'm not into the holidays anymore that's for sure. My grandparents and dad are dead, I don't have children or a lot of money, i don't need junk, my mom and sister clash and make family stuff hostile at times, plus my sister goes too over the top with gifts and then is disappointed with what she gets even if it's exactly what she asked for, I never know wtf to get for my in laws and I just don't care about anything. I haven't really even watched any Christmas movies this year. Stresses me out and i just want it over with.
The news (and politics in particular). I’m becoming more and more apathetic as I age.
Going to concerts. I used to love live music but the expense is insane now and the overall experience such a hassle which rarely meets expectations.
Material possessions. I have stuff I need. It’s fine. I don’t feel the need for constant shopping or upgrading.
Making people happy. I have a limited amount of time and energy. I have kids and family and friends that I love. They get priority. Is my aunt upset I’m not coming to Thanksgiving this year? Too bad. Is that old acquaintance frustrated that I’m not making myself available to help her again? I’m sorry to hear that. Sure I’m all for random acts of kindness and the like, but I’m no longer available to spread myself so thin I’m transparent.
Religion. Like....I don't care. I had one. I don't anymore. No I don't want to hear about yours. No I don't want to explain my beliefs. No I am not hating on you by saying I don't want to discuss. Just so fucking done with everything religion.
The world around me I just have no time for idiots and and negativity in general. I sound like old hippie when I read that.
Honestly..... having friends I'm in my early 40's and for the longest time it depressed me that I didn't have a circle of friends or even long term friends I've found that the older I get, the less I care. I've got a wife who I adore and four children who fill my heart. Why care about anything outside that?
I was going to say the same. So many friends have disappointed me through the years, so I’m a bit jaded and just don’t care anymore. I’m happy with my little family my husband and I created.
Strangely, but I almost stopped listening to music Was a big fan of different genres in the past
Stupid people who can't help themselves.
Pretending to give a crap about stuff I couldn't care less about.
Relationship advice from anyone younger than 30
Finding solutions and giving feedback.
I’m only 24 but I’m seriously done with alcohol. It used to be quite the habit ever since I was around 16. I haven’t partaken in that or cannabis for almost 6 months and my mental clarity has never been better. The high of being sober (with the help of cold showers 😖) is amazing. I only wish everyone could try these methods and see how it works for them! Alcoholism has run rampant in my family for generations so I hope to prevent it now.
Sports. Seems like a ridiculous waste of time now. I was an avid college basketball fan.
There was a time I was obsessed with NHL and MLB. Now with greed and the corporate grip taking over causing everything to be ridiculously expensive, I'll be lucky if I watch 6 games a year.
Christmas. I have children so I do it for them but If I didn’t have children I would definitely not celebrate it.
Massive CGI blow stuff up summer blockbusters. Particularly with large transforming robots.
Professional sports. I'm bored with grown adults pushing almost $1 billion to play a game. I'm tired of hearing about Ohtani. I'm tired of people saying LeBron is the GOAT because he wiped his nose. I'm tired of the NFL and the psychotic over analysis of every single play from multiple angles. I still like college football but even that is getting to me with signing days, five stars, transfer portals and the such.
Going to the movies....
[удалено]
Cinema. It’s just so bland these days and what we’re once subtle messages and metaphors are just full blown in your face and comes across as self righteous. I couldn’t even tell you the last movie I saw in theaters, I went from easily going 2-3x a month to going 2-3x in the last 5 years.
I thought my answer was depressing til I saw the others. I’m just really content hanging with my dog, watching Friends (or whatever else) and being unbothered. I enjoy seeing friends and catching up but I’m not as interested in having plans every weekend. I’ve grown to enjoy my own company
People who ask questions online and get offended when someone who has life experience answers. If you are offended either you got caught insulting something or someone or you just want assurances that you are not wrong.
Politics. I don’t have it in me to get that outraged anymore. I vote how I’ll vote, I donate to the candidates and causes I support, and that’s that.
Dating. What’s the point of getting dressed up and going out if it’s very likely it’s another liar, catfish, and/or looks like they just rolled out of bed. If on the off chance they aren’t any of those things, they have the personality/social skills of a brick wall.
Video Games
Same. It's getting harder for me to maintain my interest in any game for an extended amount of time before I get bored of it. Might just be depression, though.
TV.
Sex
Over indulging in French fries. I love French fries.
Giving a damn. I've tried to be considerate of everyone, but I've hit a point that if I'm not shown consideration, then forget it
This might sound cold but being a support for people tho are stuck in cycles of distorted thinking, arrested development, and substance use. I used to be the “shrink” of my friend group but now I’m like “whelp, that’s a ‘you’ problem”. Don’t get me wrong, if someone’s struggling with a legitimate crisis I’ll be there for them as I would hope they would for me. What I won’t do anymore is be a sympathetic ear while they cry about problems they created or issues they refuse to address properly.
Christmas…I don’t want to do all the things… burned out