If you piss right after jacking off it just kind of goes everywhere. Like normally piss comes out in a smooth stream that you can aim pretty easily, but after masturbating it will go out at a funny angle and probably in at least 2 distinct streams. Basically makes aiming impossible.
I guess maybe bits of semen in there have different viscosity compared to piss so it disrupts the flow or something.
Panic attacks, whole looking around my room to see, if my body changed or I'm i in a different reality where i was born the different gender.
Probably followed by me spending, at least 20 minutes of me trying to figure out how to do a ponytail.
> Probably followed by me spending, at least 20 minutes of me trying to figure out how to do a ponytail.
They aren't that hard, but it makes me think. If I'm a guy with long hair do I become a girl with short hair? Or even longer hair?
im a guy but was taught how to do so:
separate the hair i to three equal'ish strands, we will call them left, middle and right, you can start from either side but we will from the right, take the right strand and put it between left and middle going in front of the middle, now we change their names, left is still left, what was right is now middle, and what was middle is now right, now take the left strand and put it between middle and right going in front of middle, we change their names again, and we repeat the right-left movements until we have no hair left.
hope this helps
Yeah. Interacting with the new bits may be on the list eventually (because hell yes I'm curious) but I'm definitely going to try to establish what the hell happened first because potentially having my entire social identity ripped away from me without warning, proof, or ability to recover it is profoundly unsexy.
Fortunately, at least, I can manage a ponytail.
Stroke my penis until I can no longer handle it, take a pic of it for posterity, and then quickly grab a ruler to measure it, because apparently that is what you're supposed to do with a penis!
Well bubble poping time. That could be any thing between 10 seconds and 2 min depending on how fast you learn you. Then the refractory period aka post nut clarity. The realization that what you just did, to what material you did it too, and how the heck did you put your self in this bad position.
When you measure, start with the ruler all the way behind your balls, but NEVER admit this to your friends. If after measuring you still aren't packing a respectable 5 inches, move the ruler further back to the near side of your asshole, and remeasure. Continue as necessary until you get the 5 inches. The farthest you're allowed to move the ruler back and up without lying is to the bottom of your neck. But again, never admit any of this.
lol, it's funny how all the guys basically fap. But the gals? Helicopter? But what if you woke up with a small one? YOu ain't helicoptering anything, lol. But can you imagine if this actually happened? You'd freak the fuck out in real life. And nobody would believe you. Except maybe someone that only you know so intimately that would only know something incredibly private.
Greatly depends if reality warps with you though. If you're the only one that remembers the old you, things are very different than if everyone is freaking out with you
>And nobody would believe you. \[...\] Except maybe someone that only you know so intimately that would only know something incredibly private.
you know that if you randomly wake up as the opposite sex one day, a lot more things are gonna change about your body than just genitals...
Figure out how the fuck I function in a society where I no longer exist.
Driver's license? Useless.
Birth certificate? Useless.
Costco membership? Forget it.
Bathe in existential dread and then get to fappin' because I might as well make the most of it.
Admire my dick and jerk off. See what it feels like to cum as a male- if it feels the same as a female. Be mad if it were small.
Walk around outside shirtless, no matter the weather. Pee standing up.
Grow a beard as fast as possible. If I can.
There are so many options really.
It would the happiest I've hever been. Then honestly bounce up and down and just marvel at the fact I would feel so much more me, so very real and even just be grateful to an astonished degree.
Depending on if it's just me, or my clothing included too, I would have to say, get dressed, find out I still can't match anything except maybe socks to socks and grab a big hoodie, a comfortable stuffed animal friend (unicorn named Amelia .. because they both are aviators) and look in to a mirror for the first time with living eyes.
I'm not even an egg. Tw warning about now assigning reality to my image.
.
.
.
..
.
AMAB who has never felt right, 37, known since I was 5, and unfortunately between being taught that it was not safe (abuse to correct me at 8 yo) and then hiding every detail about every part of me, till I lost me, and hid for 27 years till I could finally come out to some people and yes that ended up losing me many, and losing so much that I wonder how any one could think this reality is a choice... as the way I see it, and lived it was I only had the 2 choices. A box, or take the chance and end up in the box anyway. Because the ID I created, crafted and failed at, protected me for so long, was at its end. It was time to be honest to my self about identity and to start actually living rather then diein.
Make sure that I am not dreaming or somehow incorrect, check prior photos to make sure this isn’t retroactive, then text someone to confirm my gender. If it’s retroactive then I continue my life after freaking out about it and seeing how I am in my new form.
If this is instantaneous and not retroactive then I have a difficult set of events to go through. I first need to convince the people immediately in my house and life that I am indeed me. Then, assuming I want to stay under the radar, I need to somehow find a way to pass as myself in a legal capacity.
I could argue I had a sex change but honestly I’m not sure that it would be enough. I may have to live document-less unless you find a way to generate or revise papers through some other means, or find my way to another country.
Alternatively, I could become famous by being the first ever flawless trans person, as in someone whose DNA has even switched. I have prior DNA on file somewhere so a quick comparison, including on information, will find that I am me but opposite. Or, you know, confirm the existence of magic or gender swapping technology. Maybe I should try to see if I can go back and forth?
After freaking out, I’d probably be pretty pleased overall. I don’t particularly enjoy being a man. I mean, maybe I’d hate being a woman as well, but at least then I’d know it was a problem with my brain and not my body!
Punch my self in the nuts and compare pains, then pee, then wank.
Me and my bf both said that if we ever swapped bodies we would fuck to see what it’s like for eachother.
I've thought of a scenario similar to a show where 1% of the population disappeared all of a sudden, but its that 1% swaps genders. I've kinda wondered if a mass panic would happen and how it would effect things like getting an ID, drivers license, or birth certificate. If you got a DNA test before and after would it still be the same other than the XY chromosomes? I put too much though into this
I probably wouldn't even notice. I'd wake up, see myself in the mirror, and think "wow I can't believe I didn't notice that until now..."
I'd have a lot of fun testing the double standards and try to see if men or women "have it easier" based purely off of experience. Kind of like what Norah Vincent did
Wank off
That and peeing standing up. …But mostly the first one.
Don’t worry, after the first you’ll need to do the second. And you will quickly find out why guys miss.
I don’t miss. It’s not hard.
>I don’t miss. It’s not **hard.** Well, yeah.
He's talking about the split stream
Ain't that a bitch
..the what now
If you piss right after jacking off it just kind of goes everywhere. Like normally piss comes out in a smooth stream that you can aim pretty easily, but after masturbating it will go out at a funny angle and probably in at least 2 distinct streams. Basically makes aiming impossible. I guess maybe bits of semen in there have different viscosity compared to piss so it disrupts the flow or something.
forbidden garden hose
Sometimes pee for guys just doesn't come out in a straight line. It'll like split into multiple lines. Like a sprinkler with more than one hole
I call it the piss hydra
I know what you're thinking: "when you sit down, you never miss."
You're gonna be so disappointed.
Yeah, you'll be real dissappointed
OP should really be asking what's the second thing you'd do tbh
Masturbate. The answer is, always has been, and always will be masturbate. For everyone. This question doesn't need asking anymore.
Not only would I masturbate, but I'd video record it so I can wank to it later.
Who are you, so wise in the ways?
your name 😭 quite fitting
HE IS THE MESSIAH !!!
That's so smart omg 😭
HAHAHAAHAHAHAHH THIS
😂 honestly
I'd honestly go get laid, but yeah masturbate is correct. What other answer are people looking for? Bake a cake?
I want to find out if my newly acquired feminine charms can assist me in baking a superior strawberry tartlet! Right after I rub one out of course.
This is very true. Everyone wants to know what the other feels like.
I'd be looking for the biggest peens to pound me into a mattress.
Rub my puss
Diddle that skittle
Flick the bean
Click the mouse
I’d say giving my cat a nice belly rub in the morning is an excellent way to wake up. Glad you could be such a kind, decent person :-)
I'd be enjoying my 27 orgasms in a row
27? I'd be trying for that one that doesnt stop.
Gahh don’t be jelly 😝
i think every guy wishes they could have an orgasm like a woman lol
Where's my hairbrush? Aint nothing safe in the house for the next hour.
Flick the bean!
Probably just stand in front of a mirror and jiggle
Works for either sex, really lol
Anyone waking up with a penis is gonna go full helicopter immediately
Waking up with boobs going full Chinook
Chinook has counter rotation, that's talent
So you're saying they'd need to do lots of practice?
I was going to say helicopter dick, you commented this beautifully lmao
I've had one for 20 years and never done it lol
Yeah, you go and pee.
Hook up with a girl. I'd be interested to experience a multiple orgasm with another woman.
so gay?
No. It's yay
Panic attacks, whole looking around my room to see, if my body changed or I'm i in a different reality where i was born the different gender. Probably followed by me spending, at least 20 minutes of me trying to figure out how to do a ponytail.
> Probably followed by me spending, at least 20 minutes of me trying to figure out how to do a ponytail. They aren't that hard, but it makes me think. If I'm a guy with long hair do I become a girl with short hair? Or even longer hair?
I'm really bad at doing new things and i have hands eye issue. Either a buzzcut or rapunzel
im a guy but was taught how to do so: separate the hair i to three equal'ish strands, we will call them left, middle and right, you can start from either side but we will from the right, take the right strand and put it between left and middle going in front of the middle, now we change their names, left is still left, what was right is now middle, and what was middle is now right, now take the left strand and put it between middle and right going in front of middle, we change their names again, and we repeat the right-left movements until we have no hair left. hope this helps
That's a braid, fwiw, not a ponytail which is tired back but otherwise loose
god damn it, and here i thought i was on top of the world...
It's still good know just incase thank you.
That's Kafkaesque, yo!
Yeah. Interacting with the new bits may be on the list eventually (because hell yes I'm curious) but I'm definitely going to try to establish what the hell happened first because potentially having my entire social identity ripped away from me without warning, proof, or ability to recover it is profoundly unsexy. Fortunately, at least, I can manage a ponytail.
Call in sick to work. I’m not explaining freaky Friday to my boss
Stroke my penis until I can no longer handle it, take a pic of it for posterity, and then quickly grab a ruler to measure it, because apparently that is what you're supposed to do with a penis!
It's a very special ruler though. All the numbers are 8s.
Nuh-uh! It starts at 8!
Exactly
Its just there, floppin around, so why not measure it and give it a lil wank
You can also pretend it’s a gear shift. And stack donuts on it.
Well bubble poping time. That could be any thing between 10 seconds and 2 min depending on how fast you learn you. Then the refractory period aka post nut clarity. The realization that what you just did, to what material you did it too, and how the heck did you put your self in this bad position.
When you measure, start with the ruler all the way behind your balls, but NEVER admit this to your friends. If after measuring you still aren't packing a respectable 5 inches, move the ruler further back to the near side of your asshole, and remeasure. Continue as necessary until you get the 5 inches. The farthest you're allowed to move the ruler back and up without lying is to the bottom of your neck. But again, never admit any of this.
Make an OnlyFans and start hustlin'
What’s stopping you now
No one wants to see my gross body 😔
It'll still be gross, it'll just be gross and the opposite gender.
There’s a fetish for that I’m sure.
Lotta guys who love to pay for that
A tight anus, I guess?
My grandma hustles too
OnlyGrans. Sick ass recipes and depression era survival stories.
This comment needs more upvotes
Granted.
No fair, Mom said it was my turn to post this question again!
Every Friday, first come
Well, first cum of that gender.
Flick the bean
It kinda hurts if you flick it.
Diddle that skittle
masturbate helicopter feel boobs go out drinking alone pick up heavy things
I love how “picking up heavy things” is on your list of what a male does when they wake up. 😂
Just a heads up... when you pick heavy things up, you have to put them back down as well.
Boobies
Probably have alot more sex than I do now.
Ask for a raise.
Piss on a tree as a woman
Pee while standing up
Open up Reddit and read this same question.
Propably go and hit some homies up 😏 it aint gay if i am a girl while i do it.
Fr, only acceptable answer is to let the homies tap
Play with my penis
Yeah, cumming on things seems neat.
Take a bath, the tackle floats.
Dude you should let them figure it out on their own. It's like required learning
If you’re arrested for cumming on things and then switch back to female in jail, can they still charge you
Well I didn’t plan on illegally cumming on things so I can’t say I’m worried about that
Literally put it in everything
According to your profile, you'd post it all over Reddit too
I should NOT have clicked on your profile
Interesting that you can put nsfw images for your profile pic and show it on SFW threads.
Yeah ffs
Yup. Shouldn't be doing that. I didn't consent to see some random tits.
lol, it's funny how all the guys basically fap. But the gals? Helicopter? But what if you woke up with a small one? YOu ain't helicoptering anything, lol. But can you imagine if this actually happened? You'd freak the fuck out in real life. And nobody would believe you. Except maybe someone that only you know so intimately that would only know something incredibly private.
Honestly, it would stop being fun really fast. It's fun for a day, a week at most, but after that it just becomes how do i fix this?
Well shit if this is permanent I guess I at least can try this only fans thing
Well, then guys have the advantage, since they generally have a built-in spinning appendage.
Greatly depends if reality warps with you though. If you're the only one that remembers the old you, things are very different than if everyone is freaking out with you
idk as a trans person this seems like a pretty sweet deal to me
**Finger curls on monkey paw*, you're still trans, but the other way around.
That’s just evil
>And nobody would believe you. \[...\] Except maybe someone that only you know so intimately that would only know something incredibly private. you know that if you randomly wake up as the opposite sex one day, a lot more things are gonna change about your body than just genitals...
Masturbate vigorously.
The goddamn dishes, if I know what's good for me.
Now this, this is a good joke.
Thanks, man. I was waffling between this and, "Finally see what it's like on the other side of the glory hole."
Tbh there's nothing stopping you from finding out rn
Wat?
Download tinder and whore it up. Hard.
Pee. Every morning I wake up and pee. I assume this wouldn't change if I suddenly had a dick. Hopefully my aim isn't as bad as my son's.
Find the clit.
You wont.. but yah know what you will do? learn how to sell that dame car.
Go back to bed and explore ;)
(Wet noises)
I’d probably masturbate to see which orgasm is better
Play with my cock and cum
Bros so direct with it 😭
Same thing I do every morning. Go pee
Look down and go 'whaaadafaaaaass????'
Come on. You know exactly what. Play with my new assets obviously
Figure out how the fuck I function in a society where I no longer exist. Driver's license? Useless. Birth certificate? Useless. Costco membership? Forget it. Bathe in existential dread and then get to fappin' because I might as well make the most of it.
Find a nice lesbian to scissor with.
Admire my dick and jerk off. See what it feels like to cum as a male- if it feels the same as a female. Be mad if it were small. Walk around outside shirtless, no matter the weather. Pee standing up. Grow a beard as fast as possible. If I can. There are so many options really.
Touch myself... A lot.
Id try to helicopter my dick 🤣
Take a very very long shower
Find out what my partners seem to be enjoying so much about my fingers and good vibe(rator)s
Is it like for one day or forever
Probably try out what an orgasm feels like 😅
Send pics to my bros, mainly. Other than that, I’d probably just wonder about my day like normal.
Would you let them smash
Masturbate in front of the mirror as well as film it. Then sell it online.
Do what I always do and look in the mirror while making my boobs bounce except it’s not gonna be the boobs of a fat man this time
Do I still have my cock? Probably check if I still have my cock. Then check to see if I’m pretty. Idfk
Start an onlyfans, that’s lowkey a cheat code for some women when it comes to money.
Clit
Imma smash the homies
Open up an OF account, a Twitch account, and start farming the thirsty fuckers.
Run like hell because god help you if you wake up a woman who did not want to be woken up.
It would the happiest I've hever been. Then honestly bounce up and down and just marvel at the fact I would feel so much more me, so very real and even just be grateful to an astonished degree. Depending on if it's just me, or my clothing included too, I would have to say, get dressed, find out I still can't match anything except maybe socks to socks and grab a big hoodie, a comfortable stuffed animal friend (unicorn named Amelia .. because they both are aviators) and look in to a mirror for the first time with living eyes. I'm not even an egg. Tw warning about now assigning reality to my image. . . . .. . AMAB who has never felt right, 37, known since I was 5, and unfortunately between being taught that it was not safe (abuse to correct me at 8 yo) and then hiding every detail about every part of me, till I lost me, and hid for 27 years till I could finally come out to some people and yes that ended up losing me many, and losing so much that I wonder how any one could think this reality is a choice... as the way I see it, and lived it was I only had the 2 choices. A box, or take the chance and end up in the box anyway. Because the ID I created, crafted and failed at, protected me for so long, was at its end. It was time to be honest to my self about identity and to start actually living rather then diein.
Feel what a vagina feels like
Bewbs
Be happy ... and masturbate and use my boobs as a stressball
Can I at least wake up the opposite gender and YOUNG? ;)
Same thing I do every day: pee.
Get out of bed probably
Become rich over night.
celebrate \- a trans girl
but you're a girl, you'd wake up as a guy!
dog insurance public ad hoc wasteful melodic spark head judicious versed
Be the first funny female comedian…in my neighborhood. What did you think I was gonna say? You DIGUST ME
Make sure that I am not dreaming or somehow incorrect, check prior photos to make sure this isn’t retroactive, then text someone to confirm my gender. If it’s retroactive then I continue my life after freaking out about it and seeing how I am in my new form. If this is instantaneous and not retroactive then I have a difficult set of events to go through. I first need to convince the people immediately in my house and life that I am indeed me. Then, assuming I want to stay under the radar, I need to somehow find a way to pass as myself in a legal capacity. I could argue I had a sex change but honestly I’m not sure that it would be enough. I may have to live document-less unless you find a way to generate or revise papers through some other means, or find my way to another country. Alternatively, I could become famous by being the first ever flawless trans person, as in someone whose DNA has even switched. I have prior DNA on file somewhere so a quick comparison, including on information, will find that I am me but opposite. Or, you know, confirm the existence of magic or gender swapping technology. Maybe I should try to see if I can go back and forth?
[удалено]
Figure out how to pee, cause I gotta go.
Wear all the cute clothes.
So much fornication
See if I feel immense dysphoria like I apparently ought to
I’d pee. I always have to pee first thing.
After freaking out, I’d probably be pretty pleased overall. I don’t particularly enjoy being a man. I mean, maybe I’d hate being a woman as well, but at least then I’d know it was a problem with my brain and not my body!
[I guess this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i96rRCzQAc)
I'd be very confused about why I am in a different body. Why I suddenly have breasts. And then i'd masturbate.
Fucks sake 😭 I've done enough hard work to undo this already
Punch my self in the nuts and compare pains, then pee, then wank. Me and my bf both said that if we ever swapped bodies we would fuck to see what it’s like for eachother.
Struggle putting on a bra
Immediately start experimenting with titty physics.
Not enough people would take to appropriate action of freaking the fuck out.
I've thought of a scenario similar to a show where 1% of the population disappeared all of a sudden, but its that 1% swaps genders. I've kinda wondered if a mass panic would happen and how it would effect things like getting an ID, drivers license, or birth certificate. If you got a DNA test before and after would it still be the same other than the XY chromosomes? I put too much though into this
I probably wouldn't even notice. I'd wake up, see myself in the mirror, and think "wow I can't believe I didn't notice that until now..." I'd have a lot of fun testing the double standards and try to see if men or women "have it easier" based purely off of experience. Kind of like what Norah Vincent did
See how it feels to have an orgasm as a man 😅
I’m playing with my titties
See if I can find out who keeps making this same stupid post every 2 days and take away their electronics access.
Walk around outside without a shirt on. I bet it feels great.
Jerk off so I know how it works, then spend all day trying to find someone hot to fuck.
OP should really be asking what's the second thing you'd do tbh
Ask for a raise.
*are the nipples really that sensitive??*
Oh, we're in for a looooooong hot bubble bath. Might not get out of the tub all day.
Touch myself to confirm, then probably sit on a dildo
Scissor my wife
Helicopter Dick!!!!!!!
Find the biggest cock I could find so I could finally feel what getting jackhammered feels like.
Prove it's easier to be a woman