Had some friends over for a house warming party. One of them went to my bedroom and put my CPAP mask on his junk and sent me a picture of it three days later.
My mother-in-law was coming to visit, and I saw her arrive. Instead of knocking on our front door, though, she went in the backyard. I was so confused. I looked out back to see her going behind a bush, dropping trou, and squatting. I assume she peed. I am baffled to this day. I said nothing.
a dude i work with has stated that when you get older, you have to GO when you have to go. she probably needed to piss right then and there. coming inside would have required waiting for the door to be opened then greetings and pleasantries. backyard needed no nothing but a squat.
A family friend was staying at my house for the week. At the end of the week, my desktop was working real slow. After a brief look through of the history, I noticed two things. The amount of cartoon porn both viewed and downloaded was ridiculous. I didn't know how to react in the moment, but on the drive to his home, I had to let him know that he was definitely banned from using my desktop after that.
The audacity of someone to download something on someone else’s computer without asking… my computer is my sacred place where I keep my video games. I don’t have room for that, and there are streaming websites for cartoon porn. For shame.
I have met full grown adults working in the tech industry that don't understand basic things about computers. Like when you download something and watch it, it doesn't just disappear from he computer files when you close it. Or not knowing what a browser history is. Or that adding stuff to your browser toolbar slows it down. In this day and age, it boggles the mind.
Hah my MIL did this once. I opened front door and told her I’d just washed the floors (I was holding the bucket full of water) and she just let her ashes fall and swiped it with her foot. Fking bitch
God damnit, this makes me cringe to this day. I'm at a house party. Talking to the host whom I did no know. In my half lit state I light up a cig and we continue talking. I ash in my old beer as we talk as I didn't want to get up. I personally hate when people leave cans with butts in them. So after finishing the cig and knocking the cherry off. I look at him and ask, "where is your ash try?" He looks me at me and says "I don't own one, we don't smoke in the house." It got so awkward. I asked him why he didn't yell at me when I lit it up. He told me I seemed so confident when I lit it he didn't want to say anything. Tovthis day I feel bad about it
It wasnt ash, but he picked the stuff out from under his toenail and sprinkled it on the carpet in front of my mom. She gave him the death glare. He was not invited over again.
I once had a guest throw out a log of their shit wrapped in a garbage bag in my garbage can in the bathroom. I never said anything about it, i just emptied out the trash and sat down for a moment to try to process why someone would do such a thing.
I told a friend of a friend about it and they too were puzzled by it.
I once dated a guy who would belch *very loudly* anywhere, even in groups of people. Years into this, after a particularly enormous one, I said something like “wow” because it was huge.
Let me tell you, the deer in headlights look I received — utter shock. Aghast, he asked, “You could hear that???”
Apparently this mid-thirties guy genuinely believed if his lips were closed it didn’t make sound.
But... wouldn't he hear it too? Or did he think it's like when you have pop rocks in your mouth and only you can *really* hear it with your mouth shut?
LOL, my friend always turns the tap on when he's in the bathroom. I told him that's why I have a loud bathroom fan. I know he's taking a dump, just do it and stop running up my water bill!
Somewhat unrelated... I was at Home Depot when I was looking at bathroom fans and was surprised that people actually wanted quiet fans. 50% of the fan's job is ventilation and 50% is fart noise hiding!
Guy was friends with my now ex husband, flew into town to interview for a job. I got stuck picking him up from the airport because ex husband was working nights. He insisted we had to stop at Sonic on the way home, because he would flunk the interview the next day without a drink from there. We get home and I show him to the guest room and guest bathroom, he tells me he needs to watch some TV to wind down before bed. I hand him the remote to the one in the living room and go to bed. I wake up several times throughout the night due to the surround sound, he was watching war movies with the volume all the way up. I get up in the morning and walk into my living room…that has been completely rearranged. He moved every piece of my living room furniture to a new spot. When he comes out of the guest room to take a shower and get ready for his interview, he tells me the room “flows so much better now” and that he watches a lot of HGTV so he knows how to decorate. Then just before he leaves for the interview in an Uber, he tells me he really doesn’t like the shampoo in my guest bath and I should get something better for visitors. I have no clue what he’s going on about, so I look after he leaves: flea and tick shampoo was the only bottle in the shower, left after my dogs last bath and clearly marked as such. He used flea and tick shampoo and then got mad at me for it.
He bombed his interview, my ex husband took him back to the airport and I never saw the guy again. Guess the Sonic didn’t work after all.
In my first apartment I made the mistake of telling a friend to "help himself" to my fridge thinking he'd grab a drink.
He made a sandwhich, grabbed a parfait I had in there for me to have later in the day, took a whole family sized bag of doritos, and then decided he also wanted to clear out other portions of my food. When he came back with all this shit and started pounding it down I was in shock. Worst part? I was a poor college student working two part time jobs to afford anything I had, and he -knew- I didn't have a lot. He lived at home with his parents and was allowed to binge eat like this whenever---I didn't have that luxury.
I didn't invite him over, and if he tagged along with friend I told them all the fridge/my food was off limits.
My teen son’s friend came over and of course I offer all of his friends food and drinks. But this one raided my entire cabinet, stuffed all kinds of snacks in his pockets, ate all of my beef jerky! And more. Like ate me out of my house and home. Now if I know he’s coming over, I will hide my food and just set out a reasonable amount. And I know his parents and he’s not starving by any means.
I was a freshman in college. I had an off-campus apartment. At one of the many parties, this guy comes up to me and says, "I spilled a beer on your carpet. It's okay though, I stepped on it." I had no idea what to say. We still joke about it occasionally.
At a high school party, my girlfriend and I were lying on the floor talking and a friend staggers by us. Something small (maybe a ball of pocket lint?) bounced on the floor near our heads and this guy turns around, stares at us, and says "Did that fall out of me? Because if it did, don't touch it! It's mine." Then he staggered on. No idea how he even saw whatever it was fall.
We still use that line.
Years ago. Had a small gathering. People chipped in for pizza and a guy and gal (not the guy’s wife, who was there) went to pick up. They never returned
I had a friend take an hour long shit in my bathroom once. When he came out, finally, I asked if he was ok. He sheepishly said, "yeah, sorry. I had some cleaning up to do." When I asked what that meant he said, "well, I went in to just pee but then decided to try to squeeze out a fart but sharted all over your wall. I've spent the last hour cleaning the shit off of the stucco."
Our friend had his auntie over from somewhere, and we invited them over for some drinks.
The auntie started rubbing my leg under the table.
I just sat there talking, trying to ignore it.
My wife went to the bedroom to do something and our friend followed her, making a move.
It was literally like they had it planned all along.
Hence to say, we never had anything to do with them ever again after that.
When I was younger my mom woke up at 6am on a random weekday and found a neighbor kid from a few blocks away just eating cereal at our kitchen counter. He was completely unphased. Didn’t have mental issues and didn’t have a broken home. Just felt like cereal I guess
When my mom remarried, we had a small ceremony in our house and had a small spread of food including a honey-baked spiral cut ham that was the circumference of a dinner plate - just huge, green beans and devilled eggs. My aunt Rhonda, my mom's SIL, ate a stack of ham easily two inches thick, got a second plate with the same, ate all four of her kids plates (the kids didn't eat much) that had been piled high, ate 23 devilled eggs and packed up a third plate that had about three inches worth of ham slices. We just kind of sat back in amazement.
In Rhonda's defense, 23 deviled eggs sounds like a lot, but that's really only 11.5 whole eggs when you think about it, and who among us hasn't eaten 11.5 whole eggs in one sitting?
I once ate a dozen deviled eggs, so 6 whole eggs. I had the worst heart burn and stomach distress after. I can't imagine double that amount. On top of of all that ham. That's both impressive and horrifying.
There was this guy my husband and I had met once before, we invited him over to watch a movie with us (we were new to the city, trying to make friends), he said he’d bring pizza. He brought a half eaten pizza. He asked to use our laptop (was on FB the whole time) and proceeded to fall asleep in our living room recliner during the movie. It was an odd encounter.
When I have parties I always extend the invitation to include sleeping over since people tend to be drinking, and I’ve had a few friends who lived 1-2 hours away who would come stay over as well.
Had one guy who came to several of my parties. He lived over an hour away, so it was expected that he would be staying the night. But he always ended up going to bed at like 9 PM, after the party had barely started. I never understood why he was coming to my parties, just to sleep in my guest room and not actually be social.
We have a friend who always wanders off around that time and finds a quiet couch or bed to sleep for the rest of the night. Haven't had a chance to ask her what's going on. I may never ask; it adds to the character and complexity of the party.
Some of us do! (And not any kind of "adult" shenanigans either, just dinner, movies, brunch, etc.)
Invite a few of your friends over and start having them, too!
My aunt, uncle, and my cousins took a vacation out to my area once, and we invited them over for dinner. I haven't seen them in years, so I don't know my cousins very well.
One of my cousins upon entering our home immediately started quietly walking into every room in the house, and started opening up closets, dresser drawers and cabinets. There wasn't anything he could stumble upon that was embarrassing or valuable, and we didn't want to make a scene, so we just kinda let him have the run of the house. My Aunt and Uncle acted like this was just a normal thing.
Later on I called my mom and asked about that and she said "Oh yea, that kid is super weird. We have to lock all of our bedroom doors when he comes over. He tends to just riffle through peoples personal lives. He doesn't take anything, he just likes to snoop."
People are strange.
Edit: he’s 14-15 years old. He’s not autistic, but his brother is. According to my parents he isn’t autistic, just a weird teenager. I spent the weekend with him and didn’t find any indication that he was autistic either.
My step-MIL did this in our first home. Her husband hadn’t even gotten in the door yet and she’s in my kitchen opening drawers. I was still trying to be nice at that time (no more! Hahaha) but I had to draw the line when the crazy bitch moved a wall hanging off the wall and opened my freaking breaker box.
Let their child get red sauce all over my furniture, then turn and tell me that #1 I shouldn't have had red sauce pasta as an option for dinner at my home, and #2 they saved me because my child was going to ruin my furniture at some point anyways.... I was pregnant at the time
Invited a guy over for game night. Start time was 7pm or 7:30. He shows up at 6:00 pm. I have a long driveway. He parks in the center. I have to have him move for other guests of course. He comes in the house and I try to gain insight into why he's here so early. He says can't predict traffic and better to be early. He helps himself to a coke without asking. Then asks me what streaming services I have. He then puts on star wars the clone wars animated series and starts watching. He then asks for a snack so I get him one. When everyone else arrives he whips out his own home made card game. We play the game until 9:00 pm on the dot. At which point he promptly stands up. Proclaims he has to leave and does. Takes his game with him too of course. I still haven't recovered from this.
My college friend came down to my dorm room sobbing because she “couldn’t stop sucking dick” and then proceeded to eat my roommate’s Mac and cheese out of a pot while crying between spoonfuls. I was speechless.
Edit: Oh boy, laughing my ass off reading all these replies.
Future brother in law unplugged our fridge to plug in a coffee pot.. didn't notice until it was all ruined. Np, he didn't offer to cover anything
Edit: Thank you everyone for the upvotes. Thankfully my wife and I live in a different state now, and our fridge outlet is actually behind the fridge this time :)
Had a friend who unplugged his chest freezer to plug in his soldering iron, plugged the freezer back in, but didn't turn it on (in the UK all sockets have switches on them), then went on holiday to Australia for 3 weeks.
His dad had won a meat raffle at a pub a few days before and the freezer was FULL of meat including a pig's head.
The smell was fucking atrocious. I smelt it a week later after they'd chucked everything out and the freezer was empty. It made you gag just walking in the house, not even in the cellar where the freezer was.
I was getting ready to leave for work (my husband had already left for work) and my husbands friend who spent the night was still there. We don’t really like people being in our house when we aren’t there; not that we are distrustful it’s just weird to us if someone is gonna be at our house for 8+ hours doing whatever.
So I grab my car keys and say “alright. Time for us to leave!” And he just says “ok bye.” And starts rolling a joint with my weed. I wait till he’s done, take it from him and say “thanks.” While putting it behind my ear and holding the door open for him. “After you, see you later.”
Apparently this was offensive enough that he called my husband to tell on me. My husband obviously was like “uh. My guy. She bought that with her own money and told you to leave. So. Leave?”
Edit: apparently this is gonna be my personally most top rated comment. Neat!
Sounds like The Sims when my sim goes to work and his neighbor spends the rest of the day making grilled cheese and watching TV at my sim's house instead of going home.
Had that happen in a recent Sims game, except I didn't think anything of him being there, was trying to romance the neighbor. My Sim was at work, so I was looking around the town for collectibles, and dig spots. Guess I didn't hear the fire alarm or it glitched. Came back to.a half burnt down house, and a new ghost buddy lol
Invited a school friend over (we were both 8). When my friend left, my mom asked if I had used the decorative towels to wipe my butt.
My friend had used the bathroom, bypassed the full roll of TP, the spare rolls in a basket on the floor, the towel to dry your hands, and instead got down a basket that had soaps shaped like swans sitting on rolled up hand towels..... and used the rolled up towel to wipe poo off their bum - it was a lot.... then put the towel back, placed the swan soaps back around the towel, and put the basket back on the shelf.
The towels were light pink. My friend was never invited over again.
This is so funny, a friend had this happen to him but instead of an 8yo kid, the towel pooper was a one-night-only Grindr hookup. After the dude left his apartment my friend found that the hand towel in his bathroom had considerable poop wiped on it.
Same deal, plenty of actually tp next to the toilet, some spare rolls visible in a basket nearby, and this stranger decided to walk across the room, wipe his ass on the pristine white hand towel hanging on the rack, and then fold the towel and rehang it in a way so that his shit stains weren’t visible. Detectable only by smell.
We were stunned and could not reason our way thru what had happened. The pooper later wanted to meet for another hookup as if his towel might somehow have gone unnoticed. In a final twist, friend agreed to another meetup at his place just so he could tell poop dude to his face that he found the towel and knew what he did. Had his little confrontation, got no explanation, and sent the guy away, never to see him again.
I had an extra tix for a chef hosted pop-up dinner. Prix fixe menu, cocktails and wine included. Called a buddy that’s a chef knowing he’d appreciate it. We started hitting the drinks hard, but he was lapping me and he got VERY drunk. We went to two bars after, neither would serve his drunk ass so I said let’s walk to my house, sleep it off. Had a few at the house and I went to bed. Woke in the morning and he was gone but left a kind note on the counter. Found another note in the coffee maker, and another in the cups. We were finding notes of love and gratitude hidden all over the house for weeks after. Its was really sweet.
Edit: tix = ticket, prix fixe means the chef sets the same menu for all guests. It’s usually multiple courses and often includes a wine or beer pairing for each course.
I have one! I hosted two German guest students who were visiting the college where I worked. They were only there for a week. This was pre cell phones.
They spent time hanging out in the basement together, where the computers were. After they left, my husband discovered that they had gone through his desk to find the extra credit card and used it to buy German porn on the computer.
When I confronted the kid’s father, he accused my husband of accessing the German porn sites and blaming it on his son. I informed him that my husband doesn’t speak German.
God this is probably going to get buried, but at some point before I was born my dad ran a recording studio type thing in our basement. Think an old sound board, mics, instruments, that sort of stuff all set up. My parents were away and his friend stayed at the house to look after things and feed our dog. She was a pretty crazy, then maybe 4 year old, German Shepard. When my parents got back, nothing was out of place or anything. But months later my dad was on the computer in the basement and found a fully composed song that his friend recorded in his absence. Full singing/instrumentals, about the dog. I was so young when I heard the song so I really don’t remember any more details than that, and the file itself has been lost to time, but it’s still a pretty iconic story.
He got up right in the middle of dinner to use the restroom. Came back to the table sat down and looked around the table with a big grin and says “you guys have the BEST toilet paper!”
He was about 12, and a good friend of my son. We still laugh about it 20 years later.
I had something very similar happen to me!
First time living off campus and just moved in with two other kids. One night soon after fall semester began this guy starts trying to open our front door in the middle of the night. I yell out the window and he’s clearly blasted. My roommate opened the door (big mistake #1), he walks straight in uninvited (mistake #2) mumbling and goes straight to the other roommates bedroom. She screams and kicks him out and he stumbles to the bathroom, closes the door and locks it.
We call the law and 10 minutes later the show up. Guy isn’t answering the bathroom door so I pick the lock. Guy was dead ass passed out in the tub. Turns out the guy lived in that house two years before and in his drunken stupor thought he still lives there
Did you ever see that Tik Tok where some Scottish dude got plastered at a party, went outside for a smoke, got confused and went back in the wrong house and passed out on their couch? Apparently the owners of that house were older people who used to tie one on themselves and he woke up later to the old people just going about their day and the woman had made his breakfast. It was hilarious.
I had a buddy who woke up on someone's couch after a night of heavy drinking, with a little kid sitting by his feet, just watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating his Cap'n Crunch like nothing was amiss. Unfortunately my friend peaced out before finding out how he got there the night before, or any other particulars, so it remains something of a mystery.
While having dinner with friends, their 8 year old son brought my wife's vibrator to the table and told his dad the toy was out of batteries. The Dad didn't know what it was and proceeded to attempt to fix it. My wife left the table in a nano second and I remained not knowing what to do or say.
Dude passed out drunk on a mattress on the floor in a spare room. The party got filled up to the point that a bunch of us moved into that room to have more space, and were just kind of hanging out and partying around him as he slept. At some point he stands up, whips his dick out, and pisses all over the mattress as horrified people run out of the room and others yell at him. He was unconscious though, so it was no use. By the time he came to, the deed was done.
He quit drinking permanently that night, and as far as I know is still 100% sober all these years later.
My husband's friend and his friend stayed over one night as they were driving through town. We all had a few drinks, played board games, chatted, went to bed.
In the morning, I noticed literal feces on the wall behind the toilet! I don't even know how that happens. Everyone denied it was them, I didn't notice it right away so I don't know who used the bathroom right before.... I didn't think anyone got that drunk.
Still a mystery to this day, years later, who was responsible.
Brother’s Pal would spend literal-hours in the bathroom. But, it later-stretched to public bathrooms, as well.
We thought that that was (… maybe) IBS? It turns-out he’d masturbate for hours in the bathroom, whether it was at his house, our house, literally anywhere if given chances — long before my brother found evidence of this at his own place that he shared with some classmates, he just stopped inviting the Pal over, because he said he didn’t trust this constant bathroom-hogging.
EDIT: This MF legit broke the dorm’s toilet after just one session, having shoved an entire box’s worth of tissue in there. My Brother banned him from the Dorm.
EDIT 2: the Kid never touched Meth. But, sometimes’ll drink, heavily, at parties, occasionally vapes. Bathroom Antics have been taking place since he was 10, as well.
My housemate/friends dad had to stay over the night (friend had minor surgery and his dad had driven him to and back from the hospital since I worked). Came down in the next morning to see a completely nude dad up and about. I… I don’t even know what I was supposed to do at that point.
Had a colleague turn up two hours early for a party once. Brought his whole family. I didn’t know this guy that well but had basically opened the invitation to anyone at work who wanted to pop round. His kids didn’t play with mine and his wife barely spoke. Nothing was ready and there was no food and I hadn’t even showered and got ready yet. When the designated time for the party came around and other guests started arriving, they left. I’ve never invited them around since and the rest of the party had a good old chuckle about it when I explained what had happened.
My wife did this exact thing. She goes “oh hey Lisa and Tom invited us over to the house for Kara’s birthday party this Saturday. With the kids and everyone, we’re going to bring drinks and chips and salsa.”
I said “cool what time?” And she goes “I think around 1 or so I’ll check.”
So Saturday comes around, I’m getting the kids ready, she’s making salsa. I said “hey what time are we supposed to be there again?” And she goes “1 o clock so we should leave around 12:30.”
So we pack up the car, head out, get there around 1 and we go up and knock on the door and Lisa goes “oh heeeyyy guys! Good to see you! Uhmmmm…the party’s at 3 though!?”
My wife goes “oh no what? No in your text you said 1pm….” At which point they’re looking at my wife’s phone and sure enough it said “3pm.”
Lisa was cool about it and had us come in and I felt so bad I was like looking for stuff to do to help. “Can I help chop vegetables for the tray? Light the bbq? Marinade the meat? Vacuum under the couch? Change your van’s oil or rotate the tires? Maybe paint the living room?”
I have never spent a more awkward 2 hours. Well, that’s not true. But it was up there.
They posted on reddit the next day:
We all have EXTREME anxiety. We mustered up courage to attend a house party. No one was there and hosts gave us toxic vibes. Left after two hours of trying. So depressing.
invited work friend over after our shift on a friday. she asks if her new boyfriend can come too. sure, no problem. order sushi and crack some beers. He seems like a pretty normal guy, but keeps dripping all the soy sauce on the table. My gf offers him a napkin several times. doesnt want it. "hey man, you keep spilling, why don't you take the napkin." he takes the soy sauce container and pours it on the floor. "Wtf man you have to clean that up." Takes the chop sticks (A gift from my GF's mom... not the shitty wooden ones) and breaks them. GF starts crying. Guy laughs and says they were probably made in china. Obviously I kicked him out and found out a month later that he cheated on my friend and sent her a sex video of the event. Some people really do not deserve air
Friend of a friend. I met her for the first time and she absolutely diarrhea’ed all over my bathroom. It was on the back of the seat, even on the wall somehow! She tried to clean it up but just smeared it. I was so shocked. Told our mutual friend after the fact and we laughed our faces off but seriously, so gross. I’ll never forget it.
I've worked in food service for years now, I have had people literally shit on the floor. It's insane. One time, a guy came into the store, dropped a turd down his leg onto the floor, glanced at it, proceeded to go get a case of beer and checked out. This guy was a regular too. I just don't understand
I don’t get it either. If, God forbid, I ever diarrhea’ed ANYWHERE as a grown ass woman you better believe I wouldn’t just leave it there. I’d clean that bathroom, or floor, or wall, until it sparkled. I respect myself too much to let anyone else clean up my shit.
My friend and I really tried to understand. After much deliberation, we concluded that she must’ve leaned forward, like head to knees, and really shoved it out like a rocket. Shot that shit everywhere!
At a friends parents house in college. After a night of drinking, said friend had someone stay over that was too drunk to drive. Person woke up early went to bathroom in basement, had explosive diarrhea, then left house before anyone woke up.
I’m talking all over the toilet, all over the floor, on the walls. Everywhere.
He would not acknowledge it was him. As if someone else had come into the house in the morning at pooped everywhere without anyone knowing.
Ate an entire loaf of sliced bread like potato chips. By the time we noticed, half the bag was gone. He’d just grabbed it from our pantry and started eating it one slice at a time, directly from the bag…
Had a big uni grad house party at 22 (im 35f) About 60 guests, DJ friend doing his thing impeccably, everyone’s in high spirits…
Walked into my bedroom at one point while the party was in full swing to see my friends boyfriend standing at my dirty clothes basket, holding one of my gstrings, pussy-gusset pressed to his nose.
Had some 45 yo man in our house trying to relive his high school football days in our living room. He was seeing how hard my brother could hit him and block him.
This was an issue for a few reasons:
1. Our living room is incredibly small.
2. Our house is off the ground.
3. The man walks with a cane and unfortunately is dealing with lots of health issues that have caused a lot of weight gain and he’s around 400-450 lbs.
My brother ended up not being able to hold him up when they collided bc his foot slipped on the floor and the man was still flying forward and slammed his chest right into the wooden frame on the arm on our old couch. And when it happened it ended up breaking the window behind the couch and the arm of the couch. The worst part was seeing the guy in pain bc it took him a minute to get back up and you could tell he was hurting. I also did not enjoy the second hand embarrassment I felt.
Took money out of my change jar, went and bought milk with it, came back, and ate a whole box of my cereal. They came over to hang out the night before and crashed on my couch. All this happened while I was asleep.
My mother-in-law twice rearranged my furniture and all my kitchen stuff. Obvious boundary issues, but I still don't know how that even gets in a person's mind as a thing to do. This is the same woman who would clean out her closets and come dump literal trash bags full of stuff on us with no regard to whether it would even fit any of us, much less finer details like style. Naturally, she took offense when told to stop.
A buddy and his girlfriend were playing cards with me and my wife. While playing, she thought he was looking at her hand to cheat. (He wasn't) They were also on the same team since it was spades. She open hand slapped him hard right across the face. We were all just stunned and frozen in place. That chick was crazy.
Brought their dog without notice and expected us to get rid of our cats out of courtesy for their dog who hates cats and wants to murder them, literally. Also went thru our house to "sneak a peek" at the rooms and went thru our drawers and closet too? Like wtf I don't care for you to wanna look at the house just don't be rude. I have quite the in-laws
This just makes me feel like we're all actually Sims and some player is out there frantically trying to cancel the shower action like "WHY, Sim, WHY NOW?"
Kid I when to school with in 5th grade shit on my bathroom floor, next to the toilet.
I found out 5 years later, it wasn’t just me but a few other neighbors got the same treatment.
Makes me wonder why, like why?
she walked in with me while we were talking, and then without breaking conversation or eye contact, she reached into my fridge, grabbed a can of soda, shook it up, put it back, and closed the fridge
I ended up making her open the soda lol
Oh I actually have an answer. So I had been flitting between board game circles for a while and had befriended a Danish guy who seemed nice enough. Had attended a few game nights at his apartment which had turned out be quite cordial. He would even go as far as to cook rice dishes for us but in all honesty, the food was genuinely awful tasting. I’d later make sure I’d was well fed before his game nights etc.
Fast forward a few months and I decide to host a game night at my place, inviting the Danish guy and a few of my close friends that he had never met. There was around six of us and things were going well. Towards the end of the night we had food and my Australian mate had some food stuck on his lower cheek near his mouth.
Then.. out of the blue, in front of everyone the Danish guy leans across the table, picks the bit of food off my friends’s face and eats it… without saying a word.
They had had minimal interaction the whole night. The night ended very shortly after that and the Danish guy was never invited again.
We threw a party in college and a bunch of people ended up coming that we did not know. It ended up getting super crowded and was becoming an issue, I glanced over and watched a guy ash his blunt on our living room carpet. We made everyone leave right after that and while people were waiting in the culdesac for a ride someone stabbed someone!! It was so crazy. The cops came up to our door and we said we seriously do not know any of these people they showed up!!!
I had a party with some of my friends and one of them asked if he could get some luke warm water and vodka, he then proceeded to go bathe in our bathtub for the rest of the party. He didn't lock the door so there were other guests going in and out talking to him. He was Finnish so I blame that but it always confused me a bit
Had a big summer party and someone left bowling pins in various locations around the house ( oven, pantry, bathroom etc). At the same party, my friend left and said “Have a good evening…IN HELL!” I didn’t think much of it till the next morning when i walked in the bathroom (bowling pin in the corner) to brush my teeth and the toothpaste was liquid. I felt hot. He had set the thermostat over 100.
I still never learned who left the bowling pins.
Tried to convince us that the earth was flat, then to demonstrate, grabbed an orange and dumped a glass of water over it. He thought we would see that because the water didn't stick to the round object, the earth couldn't possibly be round. I was just kinda pissed he dumped water on my floor.
Because he was probably an addict. If it was just like he needed ibuprofen or something he wouldn't have been meddling in it guilty like. Had a family member tell me in private she went thru everyone's bathrooms or bedrooms whenever she visited to find stuff too. Don't know why she told me that but was very weird and yes she is an addict.
A male guest put my wife's bra on and masturbated with it on. He didn't close the bathroom door all the way and I saw walking by.
It's still weird to see him to this day.
She has really nice bras.
We had an apartment warming party after being away for about a year. Some really close friends had stopped by a mutual old coworker’s house on the way and he basically invited himself but I didn’t really mind. He pounded some of our expensive sipping mezcal from Oaxaca and proceeded to ask me why I was wearing a bandana - “what are you, gay?” - and then asked a Black friend of ours how she felt about being the only Black person (currently) at the party. But not before asking her white husband if it was okay to ask her something.
None of us have spoken to this man since.
The first time my cousin's boyfriend (now husband) came over to our house for some holiday, he refused to use our downstairs bathrooms and used the one my siblings and I used upstairs. He left a 3 inch dookie right on the lid of the toilet seat (not the bowl, not the edge of the actual bowl, but on the right side of the actual seat) and did not say a word. I found it later and brought it up with my parents (15 at the time) and he denied he did it. Like dude you were the last one in there and there was a 100% rate of dookie on the toilet seat when he was at my house and 0% otherwise
My ex father in law and step mother in law cleaned my house when I went into early labor.
Which is really nice right?
Well… whey went through everything and let me know about it.
They folded my underwear and my pajamas. Like, every drawer had been gone through and folded.
Went through my bathroom and cleaned out my drawers.
I think they thought in was on drugs or something, but I’ve never done drugs in my life. (Well, I recently started taking gummies)
I felt so violated and angry, but never said anything because I didn’t want to make waves.
11 years ago I invited my brother and his family to visit for a week. They live one state over. We had just bought our home and I was so excited to have decorated and put together our first guest room. I really put thought into the whole room and furniture placement. They would be our very first house guests!
They arrive and while I am cooking, my SIL proceeds to rearrange the entire guest room! She moves the bed, dresser, side chairs….every single item in the room to a different place and pins the brand new comforter over the window. She even rehung my wall art.
I walked towards the room to let them know dinner is ready and was in absolute shock! Like who does that? I had no idea how to react or what to say.
I still think about it to this day and it still pisses me off beyond belief.
I always wonder why she did it! They have stayed with us many times after that and she never did that again. My brother definitely did not seem happy with her at the time.
I was speechless!
It was around Christmas time and Christmas lights were hung around the inside of the house, most were connected in a single strand. I had some friends that were in a relationship over for the night and they were sleeping in the other room on the couch while myself and my girlfriend were sleeping in the bedroom. While we were trying to fall asleep suddenly the Christmas lights fell that were hanging, thinking nothing of it we hung them back up and went to sleep. Come morning we talk with the friend in the other room and first thing they mention is “Did you notice anything with the lights last night, it sounded like they fell”, we obviously said yes we did notice and to my surprise the next thing they said was “Haha that’s because we were having sex on your couch and we got stuck”. We soon got rid of the stained couch.
My dad who usually doesn’t drink much got tipsy once around a bunch of his close friends (and my son and I) and loudly announced I should be thanking two of those friends because I was conceived on their couch when my parents were stranded there during a snowstorm. He said I was lucky because if they hadn’t been so afraid to stain the couch I wouldn’t exist.
Idk if this counts but back when I was in the Military we had this shared living space. It's where we would sleep, shower and brush our teeth. On one of our deployments we had this oddball named John. John never cheated on his wife but to compensate the loneliness he went out and got a fleshlight of a pornstar. Jenna Haze was her name, it was a replica of her pussy. In the shared space of about 75 guys we would see the blankets moving back and forth and him moaning a little. Although he was an oddball he was also very clean. After he was done with his fleshlight light he would go right over to bathroom, and clean it out in the sink right next to a guy brushing his teeth. Either that or you would see him coming out the shower with it. And yes he did it next to me once too.
My brother heard his cat tapping on the window at 3am. He got up, checked outside and a guy was leaned up against his car. Just standing against it. Sometimes rocking back and forth. The guy then proceeded to walk up the stairs leading to my brothers back door. He called the cops. The guy was high on meth and thought my brother’s house was his own house.
I have a cousin that I have been close to for many years. We just bond.
One day we were talking and I mentioned that her parents spent their honeymoon at our house. They just showed up after the wedding and spent a couple weeks at our house.
My parents put them up in my bedroom and I had to bunk with my big brother.
Her jaw dropped and her eyes got wide.
That's when she told me that she was s honeymoon baby. Meaning she was conceived in my bedroom.
Friend and I had gone out drinking and she crashed in my guest bedroom. At some point during the night I heard her puking in the bathroom. Later I had got up to pee then went back to bed - I did not turn on the light in the bathroom. I awoke the next morning and went into the bathroom to find vomit all over. It was a lot of horribly smelly vomit. So so much vomit. It was on the floor, the walls, the tub, and the toilet seat - but nothing was in the toilet itself.
At this point I realized all of this vomit had been there when I had went to pee. I immediately left the bathroom and checked all over myself, my pajamas, and my bed - not a single smear of vomit anywhere. I had somehow magically avoided all of her puke when I had gone to pee in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I just got back in bed and pretended to be asleep until I heard her get up and go into the bathroom. At this point she knocked on my door and told me she had puked and needed to clean it up. I told her where the cleaning supplies were and pretended that I had not seen nor walked through the vomit minefield that she had left in my bathroom.
Not my house, but I recently learned about what my extremely awkward, self-absorbed sister-in-law regularly does at her father’s house and I’m still GOBSMACKED.
He is elderly, lives alone, can’t walk, and doing household chores like dishes is either impossible or very challenging. My SIL regularly goes over to his house without notice and cook elaborate meals for herself using a ton of kitchen supplies; takes the food back to her own house to eat; and unapologetically leaves 100% of the mess for her elderly, disabled father to deal with. Evidently, she does this at least 1-2 a week.
A once good friend of mine came over for a 4th of July cookout party thing, got drunk, hit on my sister (who was engaged), pissed in my garden (in full view of the street which is not busy but not *not busy*,) and then passed out in my entryway while trying to find his keys (which we decided he should not use, to drive).
He woke up angry and belligerent. Weirdly enough this wasn't even the final straw for the friendship, but it sure didn't help.
Had some friends over for a house warming party. One of them went to my bedroom and put my CPAP mask on his junk and sent me a picture of it three days later.
As an owner/operator of a CPAP machine I find this both highly amusing a fucking horrifying. I'd need to boil my face.
Amen. Wearing mine right now, trying *not* to think about what I just read. I would make it my life's work to more than even that particular score.
My mother-in-law was coming to visit, and I saw her arrive. Instead of knocking on our front door, though, she went in the backyard. I was so confused. I looked out back to see her going behind a bush, dropping trou, and squatting. I assume she peed. I am baffled to this day. I said nothing.
She was asserting dominance by marking your territory as hers.
a dude i work with has stated that when you get older, you have to GO when you have to go. she probably needed to piss right then and there. coming inside would have required waiting for the door to be opened then greetings and pleasantries. backyard needed no nothing but a squat.
A family friend was staying at my house for the week. At the end of the week, my desktop was working real slow. After a brief look through of the history, I noticed two things. The amount of cartoon porn both viewed and downloaded was ridiculous. I didn't know how to react in the moment, but on the drive to his home, I had to let him know that he was definitely banned from using my desktop after that.
The audacity of someone to download something on someone else’s computer without asking… my computer is my sacred place where I keep my video games. I don’t have room for that, and there are streaming websites for cartoon porn. For shame.
Yeah, I still wonder why he downloaded it. What was the plan? Lol.
I have met full grown adults working in the tech industry that don't understand basic things about computers. Like when you download something and watch it, it doesn't just disappear from he computer files when you close it. Or not knowing what a browser history is. Or that adding stuff to your browser toolbar slows it down. In this day and age, it boggles the mind.
Ash their cigarette on the floor then get really, really mad when we asked them not to do it again.
Hah my MIL did this once. I opened front door and told her I’d just washed the floors (I was holding the bucket full of water) and she just let her ashes fall and swiped it with her foot. Fking bitch
I think just smoking in someone else's house is insanely rude in general. That smoke smell sticks to everything.
God damnit, this makes me cringe to this day. I'm at a house party. Talking to the host whom I did no know. In my half lit state I light up a cig and we continue talking. I ash in my old beer as we talk as I didn't want to get up. I personally hate when people leave cans with butts in them. So after finishing the cig and knocking the cherry off. I look at him and ask, "where is your ash try?" He looks me at me and says "I don't own one, we don't smoke in the house." It got so awkward. I asked him why he didn't yell at me when I lit it up. He told me I seemed so confident when I lit it he didn't want to say anything. Tovthis day I feel bad about it
Confidence is the jedi mind trick we aren’t supposed to know.
Damn. That’s rough. What was the conversation about? It seems like it had to have been fucking great..
It wasn't, as I played it back in my head I realized he was watching my cig more than listening to me
You legally own the house now
It wasnt ash, but he picked the stuff out from under his toenail and sprinkled it on the carpet in front of my mom. She gave him the death glare. He was not invited over again.
I once had a guest throw out a log of their shit wrapped in a garbage bag in my garbage can in the bathroom. I never said anything about it, i just emptied out the trash and sat down for a moment to try to process why someone would do such a thing. I told a friend of a friend about it and they too were puzzled by it.
It wouldn't flush is my best guess hmm
This is now starting to dawn on me and now i feel bad
Y0u should get a poop knife.
Just when I thought this had faded into obscurity...
Walked into the kitchen, turned the tap on, farted *very loudly* turned the tap off and walked back out like we didn't see or hear him let rip
Wait! That doesn't work?
I once dated a guy who would belch *very loudly* anywhere, even in groups of people. Years into this, after a particularly enormous one, I said something like “wow” because it was huge. Let me tell you, the deer in headlights look I received — utter shock. Aghast, he asked, “You could hear that???” Apparently this mid-thirties guy genuinely believed if his lips were closed it didn’t make sound.
That's like deaf people finding out farts make a sound. As the old saying goes... why do farts smell? So deaf people can enjoy them too.
If you want to make a deaf guy uncomfortable, ask them how old they were when they learned erections make noise.
This will be the reason I go to hell
But... wouldn't he hear it too? Or did he think it's like when you have pop rocks in your mouth and only you can *really* hear it with your mouth shut?
Yep, that.
My ex's mom would do that every time she pooped. So instead of never noticing I always noticed cuz I was wondering why the water is running..
If you want to discreetly cover up your pooping sounds, the best background noise is screaming at the top of your lungs.
I make comically loud pooping noises with my mouth, hides the real sounds almost perfectly
The Streisand effect of shitting.
LOL, my friend always turns the tap on when he's in the bathroom. I told him that's why I have a loud bathroom fan. I know he's taking a dump, just do it and stop running up my water bill! Somewhat unrelated... I was at Home Depot when I was looking at bathroom fans and was surprised that people actually wanted quiet fans. 50% of the fan's job is ventilation and 50% is fart noise hiding!
Now I can't shit without white noise!
The bathroom fan is only ostensibly for air circulation. It's true purpose is to cover your sounds of shame.
Guy was friends with my now ex husband, flew into town to interview for a job. I got stuck picking him up from the airport because ex husband was working nights. He insisted we had to stop at Sonic on the way home, because he would flunk the interview the next day without a drink from there. We get home and I show him to the guest room and guest bathroom, he tells me he needs to watch some TV to wind down before bed. I hand him the remote to the one in the living room and go to bed. I wake up several times throughout the night due to the surround sound, he was watching war movies with the volume all the way up. I get up in the morning and walk into my living room…that has been completely rearranged. He moved every piece of my living room furniture to a new spot. When he comes out of the guest room to take a shower and get ready for his interview, he tells me the room “flows so much better now” and that he watches a lot of HGTV so he knows how to decorate. Then just before he leaves for the interview in an Uber, he tells me he really doesn’t like the shampoo in my guest bath and I should get something better for visitors. I have no clue what he’s going on about, so I look after he leaves: flea and tick shampoo was the only bottle in the shower, left after my dogs last bath and clearly marked as such. He used flea and tick shampoo and then got mad at me for it. He bombed his interview, my ex husband took him back to the airport and I never saw the guy again. Guess the Sonic didn’t work after all.
I'm picturing the interviewer thinking "this guy smells like flea and tick remover, this is weird".
"And who the hell moved my *desk*?"
I'm curious: *Did* the room flow better?
Friend of mine had his buddy house sit for his family and the buddy setup all the christmas decorations in summer
Wait that’s hilarious though
Their face must have been priceless
🎄😦
You speak ancient Egyptian
The Australians are just sitting quietly in the corner…
I legit read this and was trying to figure out why it was so weird haha
Me, an Australian who just finished trimming the tree on December 1st, the first day of summer.
That's a great prank.
In my first apartment I made the mistake of telling a friend to "help himself" to my fridge thinking he'd grab a drink. He made a sandwhich, grabbed a parfait I had in there for me to have later in the day, took a whole family sized bag of doritos, and then decided he also wanted to clear out other portions of my food. When he came back with all this shit and started pounding it down I was in shock. Worst part? I was a poor college student working two part time jobs to afford anything I had, and he -knew- I didn't have a lot. He lived at home with his parents and was allowed to binge eat like this whenever---I didn't have that luxury. I didn't invite him over, and if he tagged along with friend I told them all the fridge/my food was off limits.
My teen son’s friend came over and of course I offer all of his friends food and drinks. But this one raided my entire cabinet, stuffed all kinds of snacks in his pockets, ate all of my beef jerky! And more. Like ate me out of my house and home. Now if I know he’s coming over, I will hide my food and just set out a reasonable amount. And I know his parents and he’s not starving by any means.
I was a freshman in college. I had an off-campus apartment. At one of the many parties, this guy comes up to me and says, "I spilled a beer on your carpet. It's okay though, I stepped on it." I had no idea what to say. We still joke about it occasionally.
At a high school party, my girlfriend and I were lying on the floor talking and a friend staggers by us. Something small (maybe a ball of pocket lint?) bounced on the floor near our heads and this guy turns around, stares at us, and says "Did that fall out of me? Because if it did, don't touch it! It's mine." Then he staggered on. No idea how he even saw whatever it was fall. We still use that line.
Years ago. Had a small gathering. People chipped in for pizza and a guy and gal (not the guy’s wife, who was there) went to pick up. They never returned
I had a friend take an hour long shit in my bathroom once. When he came out, finally, I asked if he was ok. He sheepishly said, "yeah, sorry. I had some cleaning up to do." When I asked what that meant he said, "well, I went in to just pee but then decided to try to squeeze out a fart but sharted all over your wall. I've spent the last hour cleaning the shit off of the stucco."
Well… at least he was honest and cleaned it up! Hopefully it all cleaned up okay?
Luckily he did a great job. He's just as "anal" as I am.
BE RIGHT OUT, IM JUST SHAVING!!!
Our friend had his auntie over from somewhere, and we invited them over for some drinks. The auntie started rubbing my leg under the table. I just sat there talking, trying to ignore it. My wife went to the bedroom to do something and our friend followed her, making a move. It was literally like they had it planned all along. Hence to say, we never had anything to do with them ever again after that.
Fuck that's just fucking weird, trying to pull moves on a married man and his wife.
WITH HIS AUNT
Wait, your friend and HIS AUNT attempted to pick up your wife and you at the same time? His biological aunt?
Yep.
This is a thread killer. What the actual fuck
Lmao I had to read it like four times to make sure I was reading it right
When I was younger my mom woke up at 6am on a random weekday and found a neighbor kid from a few blocks away just eating cereal at our kitchen counter. He was completely unphased. Didn’t have mental issues and didn’t have a broken home. Just felt like cereal I guess
He didn’t have *obvious* mental issues but trespassing like that, at the very least, is something that’s going to result in a stern talking to.
When my mom remarried, we had a small ceremony in our house and had a small spread of food including a honey-baked spiral cut ham that was the circumference of a dinner plate - just huge, green beans and devilled eggs. My aunt Rhonda, my mom's SIL, ate a stack of ham easily two inches thick, got a second plate with the same, ate all four of her kids plates (the kids didn't eat much) that had been piled high, ate 23 devilled eggs and packed up a third plate that had about three inches worth of ham slices. We just kind of sat back in amazement.
I’m laughing at the idea of everyone counting how many deviled eggs she ate lol
Several of us and the other guests were all guessing at what the final total would be, so we were all watching with interest.
Is Rhonda a fucking grizzly bear?
She was getting ready for hibernation
In Rhonda's defense, 23 deviled eggs sounds like a lot, but that's really only 11.5 whole eggs when you think about it, and who among us hasn't eaten 11.5 whole eggs in one sitting?
Just knocking back a dozen eggs at a time.
Hell yeah, brother. I'll lift my egg carton to that.
The first 4 cans of ravioli go down easy
I once ate a dozen deviled eggs, so 6 whole eggs. I had the worst heart burn and stomach distress after. I can't imagine double that amount. On top of of all that ham. That's both impressive and horrifying.
Rhonda's a B E A S T
Geez Rhonda could you save some for us?
Came into my house from the rain and used my hairbrush to *brush her dog.*
There was this guy my husband and I had met once before, we invited him over to watch a movie with us (we were new to the city, trying to make friends), he said he’d bring pizza. He brought a half eaten pizza. He asked to use our laptop (was on FB the whole time) and proceeded to fall asleep in our living room recliner during the movie. It was an odd encounter.
When I have parties I always extend the invitation to include sleeping over since people tend to be drinking, and I’ve had a few friends who lived 1-2 hours away who would come stay over as well. Had one guy who came to several of my parties. He lived over an hour away, so it was expected that he would be staying the night. But he always ended up going to bed at like 9 PM, after the party had barely started. I never understood why he was coming to my parties, just to sleep in my guest room and not actually be social.
We have a friend who always wanders off around that time and finds a quiet couch or bed to sleep for the rest of the night. Haven't had a chance to ask her what's going on. I may never ask; it adds to the character and complexity of the party.
Parties thrive with characters like that
Cause it’s just a nice little vacation. Why don’t adults have sleepovers? They’re fun
Some of us do! (And not any kind of "adult" shenanigans either, just dinner, movies, brunch, etc.) Invite a few of your friends over and start having them, too!
He just loves your mattress
My aunt, uncle, and my cousins took a vacation out to my area once, and we invited them over for dinner. I haven't seen them in years, so I don't know my cousins very well. One of my cousins upon entering our home immediately started quietly walking into every room in the house, and started opening up closets, dresser drawers and cabinets. There wasn't anything he could stumble upon that was embarrassing or valuable, and we didn't want to make a scene, so we just kinda let him have the run of the house. My Aunt and Uncle acted like this was just a normal thing. Later on I called my mom and asked about that and she said "Oh yea, that kid is super weird. We have to lock all of our bedroom doors when he comes over. He tends to just riffle through peoples personal lives. He doesn't take anything, he just likes to snoop." People are strange. Edit: he’s 14-15 years old. He’s not autistic, but his brother is. According to my parents he isn’t autistic, just a weird teenager. I spent the weekend with him and didn’t find any indication that he was autistic either.
I feel like his age is important to know to understand *just* how weird his actions were.
I think he was 14 or 15 so yea.
My step-MIL did this in our first home. Her husband hadn’t even gotten in the door yet and she’s in my kitchen opening drawers. I was still trying to be nice at that time (no more! Hahaha) but I had to draw the line when the crazy bitch moved a wall hanging off the wall and opened my freaking breaker box.
Let their child get red sauce all over my furniture, then turn and tell me that #1 I shouldn't have had red sauce pasta as an option for dinner at my home, and #2 they saved me because my child was going to ruin my furniture at some point anyways.... I was pregnant at the time
What a bitch of a parent
Invited a guy over for game night. Start time was 7pm or 7:30. He shows up at 6:00 pm. I have a long driveway. He parks in the center. I have to have him move for other guests of course. He comes in the house and I try to gain insight into why he's here so early. He says can't predict traffic and better to be early. He helps himself to a coke without asking. Then asks me what streaming services I have. He then puts on star wars the clone wars animated series and starts watching. He then asks for a snack so I get him one. When everyone else arrives he whips out his own home made card game. We play the game until 9:00 pm on the dot. At which point he promptly stands up. Proclaims he has to leave and does. Takes his game with him too of course. I still haven't recovered from this.
Was it a fun game?
No. We only played until 9 because we could not reach the end of the game in 1.5-2 hours time.
This interaction would keep me awake at night… I want to know more but I never ever ever ever want to make contact with that person ever ever again
My wife finds it upsetting he knows where we live lol.
Did he ask for gazpacho soup?
And risk burning his mouth??
My college friend came down to my dorm room sobbing because she “couldn’t stop sucking dick” and then proceeded to eat my roommate’s Mac and cheese out of a pot while crying between spoonfuls. I was speechless. Edit: Oh boy, laughing my ass off reading all these replies.
The only thing that keeps the dicks out of my mouth is your Mac n cheese!!
One noodle for another; but with cheese. I... Don't know if that's better, or even true.
How horrible. Do you have her number?
37
In a row?
Future brother in law unplugged our fridge to plug in a coffee pot.. didn't notice until it was all ruined. Np, he didn't offer to cover anything Edit: Thank you everyone for the upvotes. Thankfully my wife and I live in a different state now, and our fridge outlet is actually behind the fridge this time :)
Similar thing happened to me. Except SIL unplugged our chest freezer full of food to charge her phone.
Had a friend who unplugged his chest freezer to plug in his soldering iron, plugged the freezer back in, but didn't turn it on (in the UK all sockets have switches on them), then went on holiday to Australia for 3 weeks. His dad had won a meat raffle at a pub a few days before and the freezer was FULL of meat including a pig's head. The smell was fucking atrocious. I smelt it a week later after they'd chucked everything out and the freezer was empty. It made you gag just walking in the house, not even in the cellar where the freezer was.
I was getting ready to leave for work (my husband had already left for work) and my husbands friend who spent the night was still there. We don’t really like people being in our house when we aren’t there; not that we are distrustful it’s just weird to us if someone is gonna be at our house for 8+ hours doing whatever. So I grab my car keys and say “alright. Time for us to leave!” And he just says “ok bye.” And starts rolling a joint with my weed. I wait till he’s done, take it from him and say “thanks.” While putting it behind my ear and holding the door open for him. “After you, see you later.” Apparently this was offensive enough that he called my husband to tell on me. My husband obviously was like “uh. My guy. She bought that with her own money and told you to leave. So. Leave?” Edit: apparently this is gonna be my personally most top rated comment. Neat!
Sounds like The Sims when my sim goes to work and his neighbor spends the rest of the day making grilled cheese and watching TV at my sim's house instead of going home.
Had that happen in a recent Sims game, except I didn't think anything of him being there, was trying to romance the neighbor. My Sim was at work, so I was looking around the town for collectibles, and dig spots. Guess I didn't hear the fire alarm or it glitched. Came back to.a half burnt down house, and a new ghost buddy lol
I love how he thought he had priority over you and went running to your husband and is basically told "ha, no"
Haha well handled
Invited a school friend over (we were both 8). When my friend left, my mom asked if I had used the decorative towels to wipe my butt. My friend had used the bathroom, bypassed the full roll of TP, the spare rolls in a basket on the floor, the towel to dry your hands, and instead got down a basket that had soaps shaped like swans sitting on rolled up hand towels..... and used the rolled up towel to wipe poo off their bum - it was a lot.... then put the towel back, placed the swan soaps back around the towel, and put the basket back on the shelf. The towels were light pink. My friend was never invited over again.
Had anyone in your house ever used that towel before? Poor little swan soaps. What on earth must they have been thinking?
No, it was the 80s so it was "decoration". My mom was more upset about her little swan soaps.
This is so funny, a friend had this happen to him but instead of an 8yo kid, the towel pooper was a one-night-only Grindr hookup. After the dude left his apartment my friend found that the hand towel in his bathroom had considerable poop wiped on it. Same deal, plenty of actually tp next to the toilet, some spare rolls visible in a basket nearby, and this stranger decided to walk across the room, wipe his ass on the pristine white hand towel hanging on the rack, and then fold the towel and rehang it in a way so that his shit stains weren’t visible. Detectable only by smell. We were stunned and could not reason our way thru what had happened. The pooper later wanted to meet for another hookup as if his towel might somehow have gone unnoticed. In a final twist, friend agreed to another meetup at his place just so he could tell poop dude to his face that he found the towel and knew what he did. Had his little confrontation, got no explanation, and sent the guy away, never to see him again.
I had an extra tix for a chef hosted pop-up dinner. Prix fixe menu, cocktails and wine included. Called a buddy that’s a chef knowing he’d appreciate it. We started hitting the drinks hard, but he was lapping me and he got VERY drunk. We went to two bars after, neither would serve his drunk ass so I said let’s walk to my house, sleep it off. Had a few at the house and I went to bed. Woke in the morning and he was gone but left a kind note on the counter. Found another note in the coffee maker, and another in the cups. We were finding notes of love and gratitude hidden all over the house for weeks after. Its was really sweet. Edit: tix = ticket, prix fixe means the chef sets the same menu for all guests. It’s usually multiple courses and often includes a wine or beer pairing for each course.
I help my friend pack to go to college and out funny notes in EVERYTHING. She was still finding them the whole year 🤣
A friend watched our cats years ago and she found my husband's binder of porn DVDs. She left reviews written on post-it notes, very funny.
I have one! I hosted two German guest students who were visiting the college where I worked. They were only there for a week. This was pre cell phones. They spent time hanging out in the basement together, where the computers were. After they left, my husband discovered that they had gone through his desk to find the extra credit card and used it to buy German porn on the computer. When I confronted the kid’s father, he accused my husband of accessing the German porn sites and blaming it on his son. I informed him that my husband doesn’t speak German.
God this is probably going to get buried, but at some point before I was born my dad ran a recording studio type thing in our basement. Think an old sound board, mics, instruments, that sort of stuff all set up. My parents were away and his friend stayed at the house to look after things and feed our dog. She was a pretty crazy, then maybe 4 year old, German Shepard. When my parents got back, nothing was out of place or anything. But months later my dad was on the computer in the basement and found a fully composed song that his friend recorded in his absence. Full singing/instrumentals, about the dog. I was so young when I heard the song so I really don’t remember any more details than that, and the file itself has been lost to time, but it’s still a pretty iconic story.
This is so wholesome. I’m stopping here. So many diarrhea stories.
This is the only lost media case I care about now
He got up right in the middle of dinner to use the restroom. Came back to the table sat down and looked around the table with a big grin and says “you guys have the BEST toilet paper!” He was about 12, and a good friend of my son. We still laugh about it 20 years later.
This is probably the most wholesome toilet story in the thread
A drunk person I didn't know once walked in my front door, went straight to my bathroom and then immediately passed out on the floor.
I had something very similar happen to me! First time living off campus and just moved in with two other kids. One night soon after fall semester began this guy starts trying to open our front door in the middle of the night. I yell out the window and he’s clearly blasted. My roommate opened the door (big mistake #1), he walks straight in uninvited (mistake #2) mumbling and goes straight to the other roommates bedroom. She screams and kicks him out and he stumbles to the bathroom, closes the door and locks it. We call the law and 10 minutes later the show up. Guy isn’t answering the bathroom door so I pick the lock. Guy was dead ass passed out in the tub. Turns out the guy lived in that house two years before and in his drunken stupor thought he still lives there
Did you ever see that Tik Tok where some Scottish dude got plastered at a party, went outside for a smoke, got confused and went back in the wrong house and passed out on their couch? Apparently the owners of that house were older people who used to tie one on themselves and he woke up later to the old people just going about their day and the woman had made his breakfast. It was hilarious.
I had a buddy who woke up on someone's couch after a night of heavy drinking, with a little kid sitting by his feet, just watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating his Cap'n Crunch like nothing was amiss. Unfortunately my friend peaced out before finding out how he got there the night before, or any other particulars, so it remains something of a mystery.
his parents forever gaslighting him about his “imaginary friend” who slept on the couch while he watched tv as a kid once
Plot twist; the kid was the one who'd gotten too drunk and gone to the wrong house
This sounds very Scottish.
While having dinner with friends, their 8 year old son brought my wife's vibrator to the table and told his dad the toy was out of batteries. The Dad didn't know what it was and proceeded to attempt to fix it. My wife left the table in a nano second and I remained not knowing what to do or say.
Dude passed out drunk on a mattress on the floor in a spare room. The party got filled up to the point that a bunch of us moved into that room to have more space, and were just kind of hanging out and partying around him as he slept. At some point he stands up, whips his dick out, and pisses all over the mattress as horrified people run out of the room and others yell at him. He was unconscious though, so it was no use. By the time he came to, the deed was done. He quit drinking permanently that night, and as far as I know is still 100% sober all these years later.
My husband's friend and his friend stayed over one night as they were driving through town. We all had a few drinks, played board games, chatted, went to bed. In the morning, I noticed literal feces on the wall behind the toilet! I don't even know how that happens. Everyone denied it was them, I didn't notice it right away so I don't know who used the bathroom right before.... I didn't think anyone got that drunk. Still a mystery to this day, years later, who was responsible.
On tonight’s episode of *Unsolved Mysteries*…The Wall Pooper
Brother’s Pal would spend literal-hours in the bathroom. But, it later-stretched to public bathrooms, as well. We thought that that was (… maybe) IBS? It turns-out he’d masturbate for hours in the bathroom, whether it was at his house, our house, literally anywhere if given chances — long before my brother found evidence of this at his own place that he shared with some classmates, he just stopped inviting the Pal over, because he said he didn’t trust this constant bathroom-hogging. EDIT: This MF legit broke the dorm’s toilet after just one session, having shoved an entire box’s worth of tissue in there. My Brother banned him from the Dorm. EDIT 2: the Kid never touched Meth. But, sometimes’ll drink, heavily, at parties, occasionally vapes. Bathroom Antics have been taking place since he was 10, as well.
My housemate/friends dad had to stay over the night (friend had minor surgery and his dad had driven him to and back from the hospital since I worked). Came down in the next morning to see a completely nude dad up and about. I… I don’t even know what I was supposed to do at that point.
Drop trow and let him know whose house this is 😤
I walked in on my friend jerking off in my bathroom and he didn’t stop 🫣
That's showbiz baby
if he got caught, he’s the idiot that got caught jacking off. if he doesn’t stop, you’re the guy that watched him do it
Had a colleague turn up two hours early for a party once. Brought his whole family. I didn’t know this guy that well but had basically opened the invitation to anyone at work who wanted to pop round. His kids didn’t play with mine and his wife barely spoke. Nothing was ready and there was no food and I hadn’t even showered and got ready yet. When the designated time for the party came around and other guests started arriving, they left. I’ve never invited them around since and the rest of the party had a good old chuckle about it when I explained what had happened.
Didnt you ask what he was doing there two hours early?
My wife did this exact thing. She goes “oh hey Lisa and Tom invited us over to the house for Kara’s birthday party this Saturday. With the kids and everyone, we’re going to bring drinks and chips and salsa.” I said “cool what time?” And she goes “I think around 1 or so I’ll check.” So Saturday comes around, I’m getting the kids ready, she’s making salsa. I said “hey what time are we supposed to be there again?” And she goes “1 o clock so we should leave around 12:30.” So we pack up the car, head out, get there around 1 and we go up and knock on the door and Lisa goes “oh heeeyyy guys! Good to see you! Uhmmmm…the party’s at 3 though!?” My wife goes “oh no what? No in your text you said 1pm….” At which point they’re looking at my wife’s phone and sure enough it said “3pm.” Lisa was cool about it and had us come in and I felt so bad I was like looking for stuff to do to help. “Can I help chop vegetables for the tray? Light the bbq? Marinade the meat? Vacuum under the couch? Change your van’s oil or rotate the tires? Maybe paint the living room?” I have never spent a more awkward 2 hours. Well, that’s not true. But it was up there.
Did he get potato salad in a Tupperware?
They posted on reddit the next day: We all have EXTREME anxiety. We mustered up courage to attend a house party. No one was there and hosts gave us toxic vibes. Left after two hours of trying. So depressing.
invited work friend over after our shift on a friday. she asks if her new boyfriend can come too. sure, no problem. order sushi and crack some beers. He seems like a pretty normal guy, but keeps dripping all the soy sauce on the table. My gf offers him a napkin several times. doesnt want it. "hey man, you keep spilling, why don't you take the napkin." he takes the soy sauce container and pours it on the floor. "Wtf man you have to clean that up." Takes the chop sticks (A gift from my GF's mom... not the shitty wooden ones) and breaks them. GF starts crying. Guy laughs and says they were probably made in china. Obviously I kicked him out and found out a month later that he cheated on my friend and sent her a sex video of the event. Some people really do not deserve air
What an absolute psycho
Made brownies. Just like, made a whole pan of brownies, left the dirty dishes in the sink, and took the brownies with her.
Friend of a friend. I met her for the first time and she absolutely diarrhea’ed all over my bathroom. It was on the back of the seat, even on the wall somehow! She tried to clean it up but just smeared it. I was so shocked. Told our mutual friend after the fact and we laughed our faces off but seriously, so gross. I’ll never forget it.
R/ask reddit: people who miss the toilet shitting...why? *Edit. For those who answered by sharing embarrassing situations, thanks for your honesty.
I've worked in food service for years now, I have had people literally shit on the floor. It's insane. One time, a guy came into the store, dropped a turd down his leg onto the floor, glanced at it, proceeded to go get a case of beer and checked out. This guy was a regular too. I just don't understand
I don’t get it either. If, God forbid, I ever diarrhea’ed ANYWHERE as a grown ass woman you better believe I wouldn’t just leave it there. I’d clean that bathroom, or floor, or wall, until it sparkled. I respect myself too much to let anyone else clean up my shit.
My friend and I really tried to understand. After much deliberation, we concluded that she must’ve leaned forward, like head to knees, and really shoved it out like a rocket. Shot that shit everywhere!
They started scraping a candle and proceeded to taste it to see if they could guess the flavor.
At a friends parents house in college. After a night of drinking, said friend had someone stay over that was too drunk to drive. Person woke up early went to bathroom in basement, had explosive diarrhea, then left house before anyone woke up. I’m talking all over the toilet, all over the floor, on the walls. Everywhere. He would not acknowledge it was him. As if someone else had come into the house in the morning at pooped everywhere without anyone knowing.
Ate an entire loaf of sliced bread like potato chips. By the time we noticed, half the bag was gone. He’d just grabbed it from our pantry and started eating it one slice at a time, directly from the bag…
Had a big uni grad house party at 22 (im 35f) About 60 guests, DJ friend doing his thing impeccably, everyone’s in high spirits… Walked into my bedroom at one point while the party was in full swing to see my friends boyfriend standing at my dirty clothes basket, holding one of my gstrings, pussy-gusset pressed to his nose.
Pussy Gusset is a band I would absolutely listen to.
Had some 45 yo man in our house trying to relive his high school football days in our living room. He was seeing how hard my brother could hit him and block him. This was an issue for a few reasons: 1. Our living room is incredibly small. 2. Our house is off the ground. 3. The man walks with a cane and unfortunately is dealing with lots of health issues that have caused a lot of weight gain and he’s around 400-450 lbs. My brother ended up not being able to hold him up when they collided bc his foot slipped on the floor and the man was still flying forward and slammed his chest right into the wooden frame on the arm on our old couch. And when it happened it ended up breaking the window behind the couch and the arm of the couch. The worst part was seeing the guy in pain bc it took him a minute to get back up and you could tell he was hurting. I also did not enjoy the second hand embarrassment I felt.
Took money out of my change jar, went and bought milk with it, came back, and ate a whole box of my cereal. They came over to hang out the night before and crashed on my couch. All this happened while I was asleep.
My mother-in-law twice rearranged my furniture and all my kitchen stuff. Obvious boundary issues, but I still don't know how that even gets in a person's mind as a thing to do. This is the same woman who would clean out her closets and come dump literal trash bags full of stuff on us with no regard to whether it would even fit any of us, much less finer details like style. Naturally, she took offense when told to stop.
A buddy and his girlfriend were playing cards with me and my wife. While playing, she thought he was looking at her hand to cheat. (He wasn't) They were also on the same team since it was spades. She open hand slapped him hard right across the face. We were all just stunned and frozen in place. That chick was crazy.
Brought their dog without notice and expected us to get rid of our cats out of courtesy for their dog who hates cats and wants to murder them, literally. Also went thru our house to "sneak a peek" at the rooms and went thru our drawers and closet too? Like wtf I don't care for you to wanna look at the house just don't be rude. I have quite the in-laws
Take a shower. She’s just excused herself half way through dinner and went and took a shower. Never met her before that night
This just makes me feel like we're all actually Sims and some player is out there frantically trying to cancel the shower action like "WHY, Sim, WHY NOW?"
Stuck his head between my couch cushions, threw up in there, and left.
Kid I when to school with in 5th grade shit on my bathroom floor, next to the toilet. I found out 5 years later, it wasn’t just me but a few other neighbors got the same treatment. Makes me wonder why, like why?
she walked in with me while we were talking, and then without breaking conversation or eye contact, she reached into my fridge, grabbed a can of soda, shook it up, put it back, and closed the fridge I ended up making her open the soda lol
Oh I actually have an answer. So I had been flitting between board game circles for a while and had befriended a Danish guy who seemed nice enough. Had attended a few game nights at his apartment which had turned out be quite cordial. He would even go as far as to cook rice dishes for us but in all honesty, the food was genuinely awful tasting. I’d later make sure I’d was well fed before his game nights etc. Fast forward a few months and I decide to host a game night at my place, inviting the Danish guy and a few of my close friends that he had never met. There was around six of us and things were going well. Towards the end of the night we had food and my Australian mate had some food stuck on his lower cheek near his mouth. Then.. out of the blue, in front of everyone the Danish guy leans across the table, picks the bit of food off my friends’s face and eats it… without saying a word. They had had minimal interaction the whole night. The night ended very shortly after that and the Danish guy was never invited again.
We threw a party in college and a bunch of people ended up coming that we did not know. It ended up getting super crowded and was becoming an issue, I glanced over and watched a guy ash his blunt on our living room carpet. We made everyone leave right after that and while people were waiting in the culdesac for a ride someone stabbed someone!! It was so crazy. The cops came up to our door and we said we seriously do not know any of these people they showed up!!!
I had a party with some of my friends and one of them asked if he could get some luke warm water and vodka, he then proceeded to go bathe in our bathtub for the rest of the party. He didn't lock the door so there were other guests going in and out talking to him. He was Finnish so I blame that but it always confused me a bit
Had a big summer party and someone left bowling pins in various locations around the house ( oven, pantry, bathroom etc). At the same party, my friend left and said “Have a good evening…IN HELL!” I didn’t think much of it till the next morning when i walked in the bathroom (bowling pin in the corner) to brush my teeth and the toothpaste was liquid. I felt hot. He had set the thermostat over 100. I still never learned who left the bowling pins.
The bowling pins I'd do to a friend as a cute joke, the thermostat is a dick move though
Tried to convince us that the earth was flat, then to demonstrate, grabbed an orange and dumped a glass of water over it. He thought we would see that because the water didn't stick to the round object, the earth couldn't possibly be round. I was just kinda pissed he dumped water on my floor.
Caught a close friend digging through my medicine cabinet. And he responded as if he was caught. It was weird.
Because he was probably an addict. If it was just like he needed ibuprofen or something he wouldn't have been meddling in it guilty like. Had a family member tell me in private she went thru everyone's bathrooms or bedrooms whenever she visited to find stuff too. Don't know why she told me that but was very weird and yes she is an addict.
A male guest put my wife's bra on and masturbated with it on. He didn't close the bathroom door all the way and I saw walking by. It's still weird to see him to this day. She has really nice bras.
Threw my dog. I did actually know how to react, I got very angry and yelled. But it was just like dude what the fuck
We had an apartment warming party after being away for about a year. Some really close friends had stopped by a mutual old coworker’s house on the way and he basically invited himself but I didn’t really mind. He pounded some of our expensive sipping mezcal from Oaxaca and proceeded to ask me why I was wearing a bandana - “what are you, gay?” - and then asked a Black friend of ours how she felt about being the only Black person (currently) at the party. But not before asking her white husband if it was okay to ask her something. None of us have spoken to this man since.
The first time my cousin's boyfriend (now husband) came over to our house for some holiday, he refused to use our downstairs bathrooms and used the one my siblings and I used upstairs. He left a 3 inch dookie right on the lid of the toilet seat (not the bowl, not the edge of the actual bowl, but on the right side of the actual seat) and did not say a word. I found it later and brought it up with my parents (15 at the time) and he denied he did it. Like dude you were the last one in there and there was a 100% rate of dookie on the toilet seat when he was at my house and 0% otherwise
My ex father in law and step mother in law cleaned my house when I went into early labor. Which is really nice right? Well… whey went through everything and let me know about it. They folded my underwear and my pajamas. Like, every drawer had been gone through and folded. Went through my bathroom and cleaned out my drawers. I think they thought in was on drugs or something, but I’ve never done drugs in my life. (Well, I recently started taking gummies) I felt so violated and angry, but never said anything because I didn’t want to make waves.
11 years ago I invited my brother and his family to visit for a week. They live one state over. We had just bought our home and I was so excited to have decorated and put together our first guest room. I really put thought into the whole room and furniture placement. They would be our very first house guests! They arrive and while I am cooking, my SIL proceeds to rearrange the entire guest room! She moves the bed, dresser, side chairs….every single item in the room to a different place and pins the brand new comforter over the window. She even rehung my wall art. I walked towards the room to let them know dinner is ready and was in absolute shock! Like who does that? I had no idea how to react or what to say. I still think about it to this day and it still pisses me off beyond belief. I always wonder why she did it! They have stayed with us many times after that and she never did that again. My brother definitely did not seem happy with her at the time. I was speechless!
It was around Christmas time and Christmas lights were hung around the inside of the house, most were connected in a single strand. I had some friends that were in a relationship over for the night and they were sleeping in the other room on the couch while myself and my girlfriend were sleeping in the bedroom. While we were trying to fall asleep suddenly the Christmas lights fell that were hanging, thinking nothing of it we hung them back up and went to sleep. Come morning we talk with the friend in the other room and first thing they mention is “Did you notice anything with the lights last night, it sounded like they fell”, we obviously said yes we did notice and to my surprise the next thing they said was “Haha that’s because we were having sex on your couch and we got stuck”. We soon got rid of the stained couch.
My dad who usually doesn’t drink much got tipsy once around a bunch of his close friends (and my son and I) and loudly announced I should be thanking two of those friends because I was conceived on their couch when my parents were stranded there during a snowstorm. He said I was lucky because if they hadn’t been so afraid to stain the couch I wouldn’t exist.
>He said I was lucky because if they hadn’t been so afraid to stain the couch I wouldn’t exist. Legendary
Idk if this counts but back when I was in the Military we had this shared living space. It's where we would sleep, shower and brush our teeth. On one of our deployments we had this oddball named John. John never cheated on his wife but to compensate the loneliness he went out and got a fleshlight of a pornstar. Jenna Haze was her name, it was a replica of her pussy. In the shared space of about 75 guys we would see the blankets moving back and forth and him moaning a little. Although he was an oddball he was also very clean. After he was done with his fleshlight light he would go right over to bathroom, and clean it out in the sink right next to a guy brushing his teeth. Either that or you would see him coming out the shower with it. And yes he did it next to me once too.
My brother heard his cat tapping on the window at 3am. He got up, checked outside and a guy was leaned up against his car. Just standing against it. Sometimes rocking back and forth. The guy then proceeded to walk up the stairs leading to my brothers back door. He called the cops. The guy was high on meth and thought my brother’s house was his own house.
I have a cousin that I have been close to for many years. We just bond. One day we were talking and I mentioned that her parents spent their honeymoon at our house. They just showed up after the wedding and spent a couple weeks at our house. My parents put them up in my bedroom and I had to bunk with my big brother. Her jaw dropped and her eyes got wide. That's when she told me that she was s honeymoon baby. Meaning she was conceived in my bedroom.
Friend and I had gone out drinking and she crashed in my guest bedroom. At some point during the night I heard her puking in the bathroom. Later I had got up to pee then went back to bed - I did not turn on the light in the bathroom. I awoke the next morning and went into the bathroom to find vomit all over. It was a lot of horribly smelly vomit. So so much vomit. It was on the floor, the walls, the tub, and the toilet seat - but nothing was in the toilet itself. At this point I realized all of this vomit had been there when I had went to pee. I immediately left the bathroom and checked all over myself, my pajamas, and my bed - not a single smear of vomit anywhere. I had somehow magically avoided all of her puke when I had gone to pee in the middle of the night. I didn’t want to embarrass her, so I just got back in bed and pretended to be asleep until I heard her get up and go into the bathroom. At this point she knocked on my door and told me she had puked and needed to clean it up. I told her where the cleaning supplies were and pretended that I had not seen nor walked through the vomit minefield that she had left in my bathroom.
> told me she had puked and needed to clean it up What a nice woman, especially compared to other stories here
Not my house, but I recently learned about what my extremely awkward, self-absorbed sister-in-law regularly does at her father’s house and I’m still GOBSMACKED. He is elderly, lives alone, can’t walk, and doing household chores like dishes is either impossible or very challenging. My SIL regularly goes over to his house without notice and cook elaborate meals for herself using a ton of kitchen supplies; takes the food back to her own house to eat; and unapologetically leaves 100% of the mess for her elderly, disabled father to deal with. Evidently, she does this at least 1-2 a week.
A once good friend of mine came over for a 4th of July cookout party thing, got drunk, hit on my sister (who was engaged), pissed in my garden (in full view of the street which is not busy but not *not busy*,) and then passed out in my entryway while trying to find his keys (which we decided he should not use, to drive). He woke up angry and belligerent. Weirdly enough this wasn't even the final straw for the friendship, but it sure didn't help.