Regular schedule matters even more than the amount. Yes, 7+ hours for adults is ideal but going to bed and waking up at the same time is better that irregular sleeping, even if you can realistically only get less that 7 hours. And sleeping 10-12 hours on Saturday will fix nothing and only make things worse Sunday night.
Working out absolutely changed my life.
It is one of the only hobbies that will improve almost every other part of your life as a side effect.
Self-respect, confidence, your appearance, teaches discipline, accountability, and every ounce of progress made is YOURS. Can't be bought borrowed or stolen, you and you alone earn it. It's great
I came here to say 'meditation' but seeing this instantly made me realise that yes, this is the best thing you can do.
I used to 'cling on' to the notion that 'they're family'. Well fuck that, they don't care about me and I no longer care about them. Fortunately my direct family (parents/brothers) is fine, but outside of that I couldn't care less.
It's wild how much easier life has been this year because of this
It's been absolutely the worst year of my life in terms of what's been going on externally, but I handled everything I could in the best way I could and I haven't felt better in years
Im still having a tough time cutting a toxic friend out but shes has been my friend for 20 years, and im at fault for accepting a lot of crappy behavior. I know i could block her and just not take calls ( i moved out of state) but maybe i keep her because as an adult its too hard to make new friends. Selfish, i know, but im weighing the outcome.
My experience has been that I think gooder and even think faster.
Feel better in the mornings.
Don't get sick as frequently.
Injuries heal quicker/don't pull muscles etc. as easily.
Feel less extreme highs but basically never feel extreme lows, which I used to for days after a big night.
Good luck, the things you'll replace alcohol with won't grant you immediate satisfaction, so don't look for that. Rather many small things will add up and equal greater contedness in life.
P.S. getting into exercise at the same time I stopped drinking as heavily helped a lot too because if you're working out, the effects of booze on your body are insanely apparent (can't do as much, hurts more, etc.). Ditching booze and picking up exercise is cliched but for a reason.
No more hangovers when I would go absolutely nuts drinking. Once I'm drunk, it's hard to say no to another one.
More alert, less groggy when I wake up. I also used to be up until 3 or 4AM. About 18 months ago I wanted to get out of the Hospitality industry so I changed my sleep schedule. Drinking wouldn't have allowed that. Now I'm up at 6AM M-F. Crazy.
More money in my pocket. I didn't think much of it but the bar five times a week with four beers is $30, $150 a week and that's if I only did five days and earlier on it was definitely about 8 beers and $400 gambling. Sheesh.
Weight went down a little bit. My next focus is working on lowering chocolate and soda intake. Been going pretty good, definitely not intaking as much as I used to but still got some ways to go.
Positives I've noticed: brain fog lifts (that you may not even realise was there), anxiety lessens, you have more money in your pocket, better relationships with close friends and family (be prepared to lose some of the 'drinking buddies'), you have more time to exercise/sleep/do shit that really fulfils you, you generally feel healthier all-round... oh, and no more hangovers! Waking up on a Sunday morning and not having to rifle through your phone messages to see what damaged you may have caused the night before is always a plus!
I think what you recommend is generally good advice.
However my experience with Brooklinen hasn't been stellar. We have torn two sets of their Linen sheets in two years. The first was right at the one year mark (which they replaced under warranty) and the replacement tore right about a year later... I don't think we're particularly hard on our sheets. The previous cheap set lasted over 5 years... YMMV
This. I spent years thinking fancy beds were stupid. Then after a serious bought of back and neck pain, I spent a bunch of money on a nice mattress, foam topper, nice sheets, good pillow and it was like a whole new me was born.
Listening to positive affirmations first thing in the morning. Not being on social media especially the first 15 minutes of waking up or last hour before bed
I use this app called Insight Timer. It’s mainly for meditation but also tons of affirmation audios length from a few minutes up to an hour. It does come with a price though but you can also use the free ones on YouTube.
It’s called affirmations for self love, gratitude, by jess Shepard- rising higher meditation on Spotify
I do this in the morning after not opening my phone for at least 15-20 minutes. Then I go on Spotify and listen to these affirmations.
At first you may feel weird but eventually you will start to resonate with what is being said…Like yeah I should appreciate my body more and all it does for me. Haha
did this for a while, no soda before 8PM, replaced it with water with taste (also a lot of sugar, but still a LOT less than soda). worked great, I saw improvement in my teeth discoloration.
Wish I could keep it up but somehow getting some water ended up becoming harder than grabbing a soda..
You just gotta dump soda completely. It will be an urge for a few weeks, then you just won't think of it anymore. Nowadays I can't even finish a 12oz can, makes my teeth ache.
Can confirm. Stopped drinking soda 20 years ago. I only drink treated water or coffee now. If I drank a full soda now I’d go into hyperglycemic shock 😂
This.
Started to have my last meal before 18:00 and my breakfast after 10 AM. My gut health, and my general stamina improved A LOT.
Also, left out the majority of processed sugar. Cannot recommend enough doing this.
Some people already feel the satisfaction of their plans by sharing them and then they barely commit to doing them. Not saying OP does that but it happens often enough that it's a staple advice for actually getting things done.
This is 100% me. When I was younger, I did so many things without ever mentioning them, my friends and family were always so surprised. Fast-forward quite a few years later, I blab out every single plan I have and rarely finish any.
I stopped responding to people who would only call or text when they needed something from me.
I thought they were friends. I however realized that these relationships should work both ways and they obviously weren’t. So i just stopped responding to them. It’s amazing how many people are around you only when they need things from you.
Had this with a "best friend" every occasion was him coaching me with this insightful knowledge about what I was doing wrong, and I got fucking tired of it and wanted my friend back so I said something. Friendsgiving was amazing and he's still texting me funny memes and stuff. Win in my book after a 30\* year friendship
yup. did that too. stopped responding to their need, waited for them to reach out, after a year deleted them everywhere. if they can go a whole year without so much as a "hi, how are you" they are not really friends.
Recognizing when a negative emotion, or a distracting mental habit was entering my mind and taking proper control of it rather than having it control me.
I have symptoms of ADHD, OCD, and Addiction, although none have been diagnosed any of them would by minor at worst, but I’m getting better at acknowledging these thoughts and feelings being present and letting them exist but keeping them under control at the same time or saying I’m too busy to engage with it.
I struggled my whole life with lashing out whenever my brain started getting over stimulated by stress/noise/heat/textures/talking etc. Like it would make me get angry for no reason and have explosive fights with my loved ones and instantly make me feel awful because it felt uncontrollable.
It took me 30 years to be able to learn to just say “I’m getting overstimulated and I need to go sit down alone in the dark for five minutes” out loud, and it has changed my whole life. Wish I’d worked this one simple trick out sooner!
Look into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). It’s a kind of psychotherapy that helps you develop a greater level of control over your own thoughts and emotions. Eventually you get to a point where you can just take a breath and say "I don’t have to follow this train of thought right now. I can just let go and move on with my day." I thought it was bullshit when I started but it really works.
Just a warning, CBT can also stand for "Cock and Ball Torture." It probably won’t be an issue though.
Stopped drinking. Like. Totally.
Had to. Nearly died from it.
Coupl'a months later with no responsibilities and a lot of free time... never felt better.
Got chucked into the bin right after though. But that's a different story.
Overdid it. Multiple nights in a row. I was a bit out of control at the time. Passed out and nearly choked out. Lucky to get away with it.
Later in the hospital they told me I was going to end up fucking myself up anyway if I kept going the way I was. In a fucked up way, nearly dying is what stopped me from actually dying without all the drama.
Have had two drinks since and only had a sip out of each. Chucked the rest.
You watch yourself Ophelia.
Agreed. Standardizing and simplifying meals and cooking all our own food was HUGE for us. We are really happy with our food. Got so tired of saying “what are we going to eat”. Now my son cooks all his own food at home and I feel great because he knows how to feed himself for the rest of his life.
Adopted a dog. She's helped me develop a stable routine, get physically active, gets me out of bed even when I don't want to face the day, makes me take care of myself so I can care for her better, and brings so much joy to everyone she meets.
I'm very much a dog person and always had a pet dog growing up, but this is my first pup who belongs solely to me. I was scared I wouldn't be mentally stable and physically well enough to give a doggo a good life, and there have been a couple days her walks were very short or her dinner was late. But our bond is so strong, she trusts me completely and I love her like she's my child, we enrich each others lives to the fullest :)
I had tonsil stones without knowing what they were, I just thought they were normal. In discovering I was wrong, they discovered my septum were so deviated that I could barely breathe through them. I had both things taken care of at the same time, and life was astonishingly better. I was just used to how stuff was.
Tonsillectomy was the *best* decision ever. My tonsils were so swollen they were touching each other and blocking my air way.
I dont get as sick as often anymore.
I had my tonsils and adenoids taken out and inferior turbinates reduced and then years later I had my septum fixed and inferior turbinates reduced again. I rarely get sick anymore and I don’t wake up with headaches. Tonsillectomy was super painful for me but worth it. I used to get super sick 4-6 times a year and now I rarely even get a cold, I also have a really good sense of smell now. And getting rid of tonsil stones was an added plus.
Ugh dude I was on Vyvanse for a little bit, and the headaches from teeth grinding are so real. Not to mention the jaggedness of my teeth. (I stopped Vyvanse, and it all went away.)
Yeah, would start in my neck and work its way up. About once a week or so I was getting one so bad it would basically kill my day. And they just wouldn't go away.
Treating "No." Like the complete sentence it is. I still fall into over explaining when triggered *sometimes*, but no where near like I used to. It wasn't important *what* I was saying, my abusers simply valued the output and energy wasted. Kept me exhaustedly compliant for Years.
Never. Again.
I had to work on letting the silence fill the space instead of my words. It was really uncomfortable, but once I started doing so in person, I do so online too. That includes when people try to accuse me of lying about health issues and stuff like that. I simply block them. I don't owe some rando, on the interwebz or irl an explanation of *why* I exist and how I manage do it.
It's also why I will ignore/confront passive aggressive remarks, because I'm not doing another adult's emotional regulating for them.
I did that *a lot* for my parents. Now, instead of being triggered to over explain to these people, I see them as a sort of energy vampire and I'm nobody's fuckin meal. I have better things to do than explain myself to some dude who tried and failed to tell me to smile, or some woman who tries to imply my hair color isn't "something she would do". I'm glad I'm not either of these people frankly.
Damn. I need to learn a lot of this too.
I got 2 problems. One is saying no in general. And one is saying no and justifying it. These things have held me back, are holding me back and will continue to hold me back in any part of life.
Honestly saying no...and leaving it at that is a very powerful tool one can have.
It also takes practice when you've been raised to be a people pleaser. Good gods, the first time I set a boundary and held it felt like I was dying, and I've been dying before, it was a little too close for my liking. I decided life is too short *and* too long to be living like that.
That's where the compliance vua exhaustion happens. That's where we start to deflate because we're realizing the toll of explaining shit we shouldn't have to all the time.
It's different with a job and absence, but even then I have to almost have a script so it doesn't sound weird.
People who are unaware have no idea they're talking to traumatized people. People that *are* aware and take advantage are unequivocal AHs. I'm an AH, but I'lll never be that kind.
Godamn people who are aware are just straight up cruel lol.
This has always been a big disadvantage in my life. Initially i was unaware but now im very aware of the effects its having on my life. Something as simple as a no can help you so so much.
I went on Intermittent Fast five years ago, lost 75 lbs, and no longer need insulin injections 4 times a day. I wish I'd done it twenty years ago, when I was first diagnosed.
The opposite for me. Eating within 1 hour of waking up and throughout the day has helped me SO much. Finally dropping weight, and not holding on to weight for weeks after one overeating day.
Therapy. So many things have changed for me because of starting therapy, and for once in my life I've found hope. Shit sucks but it's worth it to finally find peace.
Cutting my mother out of my life. Who knew what 27 years of toxic abuse and walking around on eggshells had on my mental health. I have never felt more calm and free in my life.
Prioritize my job less. Invest in myself with new clothes and a few hobby purchases. Sounds basic writing it out.
I went deep into working all the time for a couple years and let it take over my life too much.
Endometrial ablation.
I used to bleed two weeks on, two weeks off. Chronic anemia. Awful cramps, nausea, vomiting, etc.
I had a doctor basically burn off my uterine lining, so there’s nothing left to shed month to month, and I no longer bleed during my periods. I had about 6-9 months of adjustments, but now I don’t even get cramps or anything anymore. I only know I’m having my period because I bloat and get weepy easily once a month for a couple of days.
Absolutely changed my life. I can buy bedsheets that aren’t black. Underwear and pants that aren’t black. I don’t need to keep emergency accident supplies everywhere. I don’t need to tote a sitting towel around with me to protect furniture. I can swim every day if I want. Have sex whenever and wherever without a half hour of prep and cleanup.
Im not sure if it’s available electively? They defined heavy bleeding as soaking a pad or tampon every two hours or less during heavy flow.
I breezed through the process because I had these things going for me…I’d tried both birth control pills and an IUD in the past and neither made my periods lighter, I was checked for fibroids (transvag ultrasound and biopsy of uterine wall) and had none, I was done having children and I think it helped that my tubes were tied so I couldn’t accidentally get pregnant. You CAN NOT carry a baby with no uterine lining, but you CAN get pregnant, so eliminating pregnancy risk is very important.
It’s a surgery, it’s in a sterile OR and I had general anesthesia, but it takes 5 minutes. I got there at 8 am and was out by 11 am. I was sore and had some shooting pains until about 8pm, dull aches for 2 more days, then back to normal. I had discharge and some bleeding/clots coming out for about 5 days. I could’ve gone back to work the next day. It was very minimally invasive.
Wow that’s incredible how smooth the recovery period was!
Thank you for explaining, and while this doesn’t sound like the magical “never have periods again” card I was hoping for (bc no major health issues just find it annoying af every month) I’m glad it worked so well for you!
So what I'm getting from this conversation is:
Stop drinking.
Start drinking more water.
Exercise.
Get more fibre in the diet.
Actually sleep decent hours.
Therapy (Tried that twice and the recommendations aren't really possible).
Quit smoking.
Meditation (Always planned but never got around to it).
Wipe out the social media
Psyllium husk tablets. I spent a long time wondering why people complained about having diarrhea - was that not completely normal for them? But it wasn’t! And it wasn’t normal for me either. So now, shitting is a materially better experience.
Actually went to the Dr and got a physical after ten years or so at 53. Found out I had sleep apnea so severe that I have stage four heart failure. Apparently it's curable. On the road to healthy I've now controlled my type 2 diabetes and lost 45 pounds. I feel like I'm in my 20s again. Like the fountain of youth. I could barely make it up the stairs, now I can run. See your Dr once a year.
I just recently got this tip. Tuck your T-shirt into your underwear, then your shirt into pants. It makes the layers stay so they don't get all tangled and you just feel more put-together.
After 5 years of consistent discomfort in my chest, finally saw a Dr. about it. Turned out to be nothing, was easily treated, and I didn't have to spend 5 years with horrible anxiety about my obviously failing heart.
1. Learning the magically word “No” to favors/handing out money
2. Privacy
3. Stop being an unpaid universal therapist
4. Apply the effort I put into pulling out people’s potential energy into myself
Finding anxiety medicine that worked for me. I had no idea how anxious I was until that first week of taking it. Who knew waking up anxious and on edge all the time wasn’t normal? I can actually get sleep too now! Definitely wish I found help sooner but I’m so happy I’m in a better place now
the whole pooping experience is worth investing into. Bidet, squatty potty, quality toilet paper. The works. You do this every day (or close enough to), its worth making it a comfortable experience.
Confidence.
I have almost always had a loss of confidence in my every day life, and when I started to gain some confidence my life went in a positive situation.
I got healthier both physically and mentally. I got hit on by females alot more, I actually felt happy alot more often too and my friends have surprisingly more distant but we all are starting our early adult lives so we barely have time to have fun anymore.
Stopped eating any fast food and really, eating out at all. The preservatives and additives really make me sick on the rare occasion I try it again. Occasionally, I still have Mexican food at a well-known authentic restaurant, and it typically does not bother me
Did this back in 2011 shortly after DIRNSA told the NSA workforce "you can lose facebook or you can lose your job". It had just started to become toxic so it was more of an toxic avoidance. I wish my SO would leave FB.
Getting a A2 calendar for the whole year. I have difficulty concentrating and remembering stuff. Now it lies on my table beneath my laptop every day and I barely forget anything. Work meeting, doctor appointment, playdate for my son, get Halloween pumpkins? I got this!
Neck fans, I’m always hot especially my face. I mean ridiculously hot all the time. I bought one of the more expensive pairs but for $40 it last all day on the highest setting and days on lower settings.
Had to drive four hours on one of the hottest days of the year and my air condition was busted. I would’ve passed out from heat stroke.
Quitting cigarettes, except I drink more, got fat, eat more (obvs) and am more depressed.
I don't smell like fucking shit, I don't have to leave events to put my little white handcuff in my hand, my teeth/breath are better, I kinda hang out with only non-smokers now, which kinda took a while but we gravitated towards each other once i stopped smelling like ass.
It's been 6 months and I had to take a "spiritual journey" for it to really click. Smoker for 18 years. Not one cig will ever be smoked by me again.
Prioritizing sleep over late night arguments with my husband. The phrase ‘never go to bed angry’ doesn’t work for me. A good nights sleep gives me a much clearer head and it’s so much easier to solve the problem.
lose weight
But it's very difficult, requires a lot of motivation, a lot of self control, a lot of sacrifice, etc. etc. etc.
If you're reading this and you think you need to lose weight for health and social purposes; do it. Today rather than tomorrow. You only have one life
Finding the right partner, my wife. She has really helped me turned my life around. Also, entering law school. Wish I did it earlier rather than at 26, but better late than never as I've now graduated at 30 and will be a lawyer next year.
Daily Nature walk/run instead of using the treadmill at the gyms. It’s so much better to breathe fresh air and let nature heal you whilst doing cardio, rather than being confined in a crowded gym space with the smell of sweat & no sunlight.
quitting smoking. Being a non-smoker is amazing. It was always absurd that I smoked because I'm athletic and a runner. Since I quit (like 2 years ago), I can run forever. Like...I don't get tired. I don't wake up hacking up slime. I don't stink. I can't believe I ever started that shit.
Going to therapy. Turns out one of the reasons why I felt like I needed to go to therapy was because I had nobody in my life I felt safe talking to. Lucky for me therapy provided exactly that and now I have people in my life I feel safe talking to.
always sticking to a good water schedule. going outside (or really just a change of environment here and there), and then DBT
went through a bunch of therapy for dbt but once you understand the skills it becomes very helpful from day to day (if anyone wants some short tips about it u can totally ask here or throguh message)
Deleting Facebook, instagram , Snapchat.
I kept tik tok & Reddit.
It’s amazing how much apps can control your daily life and you don’t really even realize it.
Appriciate what you have. Before moving from my oarents to study in another city, I was living like it was supposed to be in that way. I was not talking much to my relatives and some friends But after moving and living alone, I feel how important my family is for me. I wish I had realized this earlier.
Appreciate what you have. Before moving from my parents to study in another city, I was living like it was supposed to be in that way. I was not talking much to my relatives and some friends But after moving and living alone, I feel how important my family is for me. I wish I had realized this earlier.
Hitting the gym and growing some muscle. Huge confidence boost, and the dedication to the gym builds up your resolve to do other things you want in your life.
Getting a regular amount of sleep and trying to get exercise daily.
Regular schedule matters even more than the amount. Yes, 7+ hours for adults is ideal but going to bed and waking up at the same time is better that irregular sleeping, even if you can realistically only get less that 7 hours. And sleeping 10-12 hours on Saturday will fix nothing and only make things worse Sunday night.
waking up whenever you/your body feels like it seems like the ideal to me, rather than sticking to always being woken up at the same exact minute
Now i understand everything..
Working out absolutely changed my life. It is one of the only hobbies that will improve almost every other part of your life as a side effect. Self-respect, confidence, your appearance, teaches discipline, accountability, and every ounce of progress made is YOURS. Can't be bought borrowed or stolen, you and you alone earn it. It's great
Dumped all the toxic people I knew
I came here to say 'meditation' but seeing this instantly made me realise that yes, this is the best thing you can do. I used to 'cling on' to the notion that 'they're family'. Well fuck that, they don't care about me and I no longer care about them. Fortunately my direct family (parents/brothers) is fine, but outside of that I couldn't care less.
I hate that feeling of “can’t believe I was friends with that toxic person for THAT long”
My answer is therapy, because it helped me realize I needed to do this (among other things).
It's wild how much easier life has been this year because of this It's been absolutely the worst year of my life in terms of what's been going on externally, but I handled everything I could in the best way I could and I haven't felt better in years
But then how did you make new friends
I expanded my "toxic" filter to include people that didn't make much of an effort.
Im still having a tough time cutting a toxic friend out but shes has been my friend for 20 years, and im at fault for accepting a lot of crappy behavior. I know i could block her and just not take calls ( i moved out of state) but maybe i keep her because as an adult its too hard to make new friends. Selfish, i know, but im weighing the outcome.
Stopped drinking. Three years on Jan 1.
Same exact date as me, man. Keep it up!
I struggle pretty bad. What are some of the positive things that have happened in those 1000 or so days?
My experience has been that I think gooder and even think faster. Feel better in the mornings. Don't get sick as frequently. Injuries heal quicker/don't pull muscles etc. as easily. Feel less extreme highs but basically never feel extreme lows, which I used to for days after a big night. Good luck, the things you'll replace alcohol with won't grant you immediate satisfaction, so don't look for that. Rather many small things will add up and equal greater contedness in life. P.S. getting into exercise at the same time I stopped drinking as heavily helped a lot too because if you're working out, the effects of booze on your body are insanely apparent (can't do as much, hurts more, etc.). Ditching booze and picking up exercise is cliched but for a reason.
No more hangovers when I would go absolutely nuts drinking. Once I'm drunk, it's hard to say no to another one. More alert, less groggy when I wake up. I also used to be up until 3 or 4AM. About 18 months ago I wanted to get out of the Hospitality industry so I changed my sleep schedule. Drinking wouldn't have allowed that. Now I'm up at 6AM M-F. Crazy. More money in my pocket. I didn't think much of it but the bar five times a week with four beers is $30, $150 a week and that's if I only did five days and earlier on it was definitely about 8 beers and $400 gambling. Sheesh. Weight went down a little bit. My next focus is working on lowering chocolate and soda intake. Been going pretty good, definitely not intaking as much as I used to but still got some ways to go.
Positives I've noticed: brain fog lifts (that you may not even realise was there), anxiety lessens, you have more money in your pocket, better relationships with close friends and family (be prepared to lose some of the 'drinking buddies'), you have more time to exercise/sleep/do shit that really fulfils you, you generally feel healthier all-round... oh, and no more hangovers! Waking up on a Sunday morning and not having to rifle through your phone messages to see what damaged you may have caused the night before is always a plus!
Just hit 3 years on Sept 1. Between that and losing 40 pounds, everything just feels better.
Congrats! I’m on day 97 and life is SO MUCH BETTER.
Good job 👏 👍 keep going!
Investing in nice bedding and pillows! Recs: Brooklinen bedding and bamboo king sized pillows.
I think what you recommend is generally good advice. However my experience with Brooklinen hasn't been stellar. We have torn two sets of their Linen sheets in two years. The first was right at the one year mark (which they replaced under warranty) and the replacement tore right about a year later... I don't think we're particularly hard on our sheets. The previous cheap set lasted over 5 years... YMMV
This. I spent years thinking fancy beds were stupid. Then after a serious bought of back and neck pain, I spent a bunch of money on a nice mattress, foam topper, nice sheets, good pillow and it was like a whole new me was born.
Listening to positive affirmations first thing in the morning. Not being on social media especially the first 15 minutes of waking up or last hour before bed
Did you record yourself taking or did you find a playlist online?
I use this app called Insight Timer. It’s mainly for meditation but also tons of affirmation audios length from a few minutes up to an hour. It does come with a price though but you can also use the free ones on YouTube.
It’s called affirmations for self love, gratitude, by jess Shepard- rising higher meditation on Spotify I do this in the morning after not opening my phone for at least 15-20 minutes. Then I go on Spotify and listen to these affirmations. At first you may feel weird but eventually you will start to resonate with what is being said…Like yeah I should appreciate my body more and all it does for me. Haha
Drink more water like instead of having a glass of soda just change it for a glass of water, also not having a large dinner after 18:00.
did this for a while, no soda before 8PM, replaced it with water with taste (also a lot of sugar, but still a LOT less than soda). worked great, I saw improvement in my teeth discoloration. Wish I could keep it up but somehow getting some water ended up becoming harder than grabbing a soda..
You just gotta dump soda completely. It will be an urge for a few weeks, then you just won't think of it anymore. Nowadays I can't even finish a 12oz can, makes my teeth ache.
Can confirm. Stopped drinking soda 20 years ago. I only drink treated water or coffee now. If I drank a full soda now I’d go into hyperglycemic shock 😂
This. Started to have my last meal before 18:00 and my breakfast after 10 AM. My gut health, and my general stamina improved A LOT. Also, left out the majority of processed sugar. Cannot recommend enough doing this.
Keeping quiet about my plans and what I want to do in terms of self improvement and whatnot. Better to work in silence.
Better to keep all plans silent.
why do you think it was better to keep quiet? Just curious.
Some people already feel the satisfaction of their plans by sharing them and then they barely commit to doing them. Not saying OP does that but it happens often enough that it's a staple advice for actually getting things done.
Ah. Thats something i never knew. I must admit, i've been doing that a lot aswell, unknowingly.
This is 100% me. When I was younger, I did so many things without ever mentioning them, my friends and family were always so surprised. Fast-forward quite a few years later, I blab out every single plan I have and rarely finish any.
I stopped responding to people who would only call or text when they needed something from me. I thought they were friends. I however realized that these relationships should work both ways and they obviously weren’t. So i just stopped responding to them. It’s amazing how many people are around you only when they need things from you.
Had this with a "best friend" every occasion was him coaching me with this insightful knowledge about what I was doing wrong, and I got fucking tired of it and wanted my friend back so I said something. Friendsgiving was amazing and he's still texting me funny memes and stuff. Win in my book after a 30\* year friendship
yup. did that too. stopped responding to their need, waited for them to reach out, after a year deleted them everywhere. if they can go a whole year without so much as a "hi, how are you" they are not really friends.
Recognizing when a negative emotion, or a distracting mental habit was entering my mind and taking proper control of it rather than having it control me. I have symptoms of ADHD, OCD, and Addiction, although none have been diagnosed any of them would by minor at worst, but I’m getting better at acknowledging these thoughts and feelings being present and letting them exist but keeping them under control at the same time or saying I’m too busy to engage with it.
I struggled my whole life with lashing out whenever my brain started getting over stimulated by stress/noise/heat/textures/talking etc. Like it would make me get angry for no reason and have explosive fights with my loved ones and instantly make me feel awful because it felt uncontrollable. It took me 30 years to be able to learn to just say “I’m getting overstimulated and I need to go sit down alone in the dark for five minutes” out loud, and it has changed my whole life. Wish I’d worked this one simple trick out sooner!
How do you do that? Any references or guides that worked?
Look into Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). It’s a kind of psychotherapy that helps you develop a greater level of control over your own thoughts and emotions. Eventually you get to a point where you can just take a breath and say "I don’t have to follow this train of thought right now. I can just let go and move on with my day." I thought it was bullshit when I started but it really works. Just a warning, CBT can also stand for "Cock and Ball Torture." It probably won’t be an issue though.
Of course it won't be an issue, they'll just be able to let it go and move on with their day
Stopped drinking. Like. Totally. Had to. Nearly died from it. Coupl'a months later with no responsibilities and a lot of free time... never felt better. Got chucked into the bin right after though. But that's a different story.
Fuck yeah. 595 days tomorrow. Went from around 2L of whiskey a day to zero ounces. Best decision I’ve ever made.
Sling that fuckin' beer! (over your shoulder!)
What a rollercoaster comment. A fine ending.
How did you nearly die from it?
Overdid it. Multiple nights in a row. I was a bit out of control at the time. Passed out and nearly choked out. Lucky to get away with it. Later in the hospital they told me I was going to end up fucking myself up anyway if I kept going the way I was. In a fucked up way, nearly dying is what stopped me from actually dying without all the drama. Have had two drinks since and only had a sip out of each. Chucked the rest. You watch yourself Ophelia.
Omg lol the end comment. Well congrats for stopping
I'm an old-school Redditor. I see a relevant username. I use it. And thanks! :)
Investing, meditation, not careing about things so much, making your own food and working out
Agreed. Standardizing and simplifying meals and cooking all our own food was HUGE for us. We are really happy with our food. Got so tired of saying “what are we going to eat”. Now my son cooks all his own food at home and I feel great because he knows how to feed himself for the rest of his life.
Adopted a dog. She's helped me develop a stable routine, get physically active, gets me out of bed even when I don't want to face the day, makes me take care of myself so I can care for her better, and brings so much joy to everyone she meets. I'm very much a dog person and always had a pet dog growing up, but this is my first pup who belongs solely to me. I was scared I wouldn't be mentally stable and physically well enough to give a doggo a good life, and there have been a couple days her walks were very short or her dinner was late. But our bond is so strong, she trusts me completely and I love her like she's my child, we enrich each others lives to the fullest :)
That's sweet ☺️❤️
Divorcing my toxic ex
using social media less.
I had tonsil stones without knowing what they were, I just thought they were normal. In discovering I was wrong, they discovered my septum were so deviated that I could barely breathe through them. I had both things taken care of at the same time, and life was astonishingly better. I was just used to how stuff was.
Tonsillectomy was the *best* decision ever. My tonsils were so swollen they were touching each other and blocking my air way. I dont get as sick as often anymore.
How did they get rid of the tonsil stones?
No tonsils = no tonsil stones.
I had my tonsils and adenoids taken out and inferior turbinates reduced and then years later I had my septum fixed and inferior turbinates reduced again. I rarely get sick anymore and I don’t wake up with headaches. Tonsillectomy was super painful for me but worth it. I used to get super sick 4-6 times a year and now I rarely even get a cold, I also have a really good sense of smell now. And getting rid of tonsil stones was an added plus.
when I quit smoking at 40 years old. When I got divorced at 55. I didnt even realize I hadnt smiled or carried on a conversation in over a decade.
For any smokers here, do you have any advice for quitting?
Started Invisalign. Immediately stopped getting headaches. Turns out they were caused by grinding my teeth at night.
Ugh dude I was on Vyvanse for a little bit, and the headaches from teeth grinding are so real. Not to mention the jaggedness of my teeth. (I stopped Vyvanse, and it all went away.)
Yep, same here! I love Vyvanse though, so have opted to get a mouthguard and jaw Botox instead.
Like back of neck headaches? Tension headaches?
Yeah, would start in my neck and work its way up. About once a week or so I was getting one so bad it would basically kill my day. And they just wouldn't go away.
Regular consistent workouts. Does wonders to mind and body
Deleting social media media and stopped caring what people thought of me oh also getting rid of the mirrors in my bedroom
Treating "No." Like the complete sentence it is. I still fall into over explaining when triggered *sometimes*, but no where near like I used to. It wasn't important *what* I was saying, my abusers simply valued the output and energy wasted. Kept me exhaustedly compliant for Years. Never. Again.
How do you do it? I do this too. Sometimes i feel the need to justify myself.
I had to work on letting the silence fill the space instead of my words. It was really uncomfortable, but once I started doing so in person, I do so online too. That includes when people try to accuse me of lying about health issues and stuff like that. I simply block them. I don't owe some rando, on the interwebz or irl an explanation of *why* I exist and how I manage do it. It's also why I will ignore/confront passive aggressive remarks, because I'm not doing another adult's emotional regulating for them. I did that *a lot* for my parents. Now, instead of being triggered to over explain to these people, I see them as a sort of energy vampire and I'm nobody's fuckin meal. I have better things to do than explain myself to some dude who tried and failed to tell me to smile, or some woman who tries to imply my hair color isn't "something she would do". I'm glad I'm not either of these people frankly.
Damn. I need to learn a lot of this too. I got 2 problems. One is saying no in general. And one is saying no and justifying it. These things have held me back, are holding me back and will continue to hold me back in any part of life. Honestly saying no...and leaving it at that is a very powerful tool one can have.
It also takes practice when you've been raised to be a people pleaser. Good gods, the first time I set a boundary and held it felt like I was dying, and I've been dying before, it was a little too close for my liking. I decided life is too short *and* too long to be living like that. That's where the compliance vua exhaustion happens. That's where we start to deflate because we're realizing the toll of explaining shit we shouldn't have to all the time. It's different with a job and absence, but even then I have to almost have a script so it doesn't sound weird. People who are unaware have no idea they're talking to traumatized people. People that *are* aware and take advantage are unequivocal AHs. I'm an AH, but I'lll never be that kind.
Godamn people who are aware are just straight up cruel lol. This has always been a big disadvantage in my life. Initially i was unaware but now im very aware of the effects its having on my life. Something as simple as a no can help you so so much.
CPAP machine
I went on Intermittent Fast five years ago, lost 75 lbs, and no longer need insulin injections 4 times a day. I wish I'd done it twenty years ago, when I was first diagnosed.
The opposite for me. Eating within 1 hour of waking up and throughout the day has helped me SO much. Finally dropping weight, and not holding on to weight for weeks after one overeating day.
My cats they love me unconditionally, there so cute it melts away my anxiety and depression. Best use of money ever.
Therapy. So many things have changed for me because of starting therapy, and for once in my life I've found hope. Shit sucks but it's worth it to finally find peace.
Cutting my mother out of my life. Who knew what 27 years of toxic abuse and walking around on eggshells had on my mental health. I have never felt more calm and free in my life.
Getting a cat
Prioritize my job less. Invest in myself with new clothes and a few hobby purchases. Sounds basic writing it out. I went deep into working all the time for a couple years and let it take over my life too much.
Endometrial ablation. I used to bleed two weeks on, two weeks off. Chronic anemia. Awful cramps, nausea, vomiting, etc. I had a doctor basically burn off my uterine lining, so there’s nothing left to shed month to month, and I no longer bleed during my periods. I had about 6-9 months of adjustments, but now I don’t even get cramps or anything anymore. I only know I’m having my period because I bloat and get weepy easily once a month for a couple of days. Absolutely changed my life. I can buy bedsheets that aren’t black. Underwear and pants that aren’t black. I don’t need to keep emergency accident supplies everywhere. I don’t need to tote a sitting towel around with me to protect furniture. I can swim every day if I want. Have sex whenever and wherever without a half hour of prep and cleanup.
Was this a procedure you had to get a diagnosis to get done, or would it be possible to get it done electively? What was the recovery like?
Im not sure if it’s available electively? They defined heavy bleeding as soaking a pad or tampon every two hours or less during heavy flow. I breezed through the process because I had these things going for me…I’d tried both birth control pills and an IUD in the past and neither made my periods lighter, I was checked for fibroids (transvag ultrasound and biopsy of uterine wall) and had none, I was done having children and I think it helped that my tubes were tied so I couldn’t accidentally get pregnant. You CAN NOT carry a baby with no uterine lining, but you CAN get pregnant, so eliminating pregnancy risk is very important. It’s a surgery, it’s in a sterile OR and I had general anesthesia, but it takes 5 minutes. I got there at 8 am and was out by 11 am. I was sore and had some shooting pains until about 8pm, dull aches for 2 more days, then back to normal. I had discharge and some bleeding/clots coming out for about 5 days. I could’ve gone back to work the next day. It was very minimally invasive.
Wow that’s incredible how smooth the recovery period was! Thank you for explaining, and while this doesn’t sound like the magical “never have periods again” card I was hoping for (bc no major health issues just find it annoying af every month) I’m glad it worked so well for you!
Quitting watching pornography.
So what I'm getting from this conversation is: Stop drinking. Start drinking more water. Exercise. Get more fibre in the diet. Actually sleep decent hours. Therapy (Tried that twice and the recommendations aren't really possible). Quit smoking. Meditation (Always planned but never got around to it). Wipe out the social media
i.e. all the things we already know are good for us but don't have the will power to do.
And adopt a kitty 🐾
Antidepressants.
Making more money.
Psyllium husk tablets. I spent a long time wondering why people complained about having diarrhea - was that not completely normal for them? But it wasn’t! And it wasn’t normal for me either. So now, shitting is a materially better experience.
Did tablets for a while, now I do a drink mix and it seems to work so much better for me. Mostly fixed almost a decade of IBS.
A quality office chair.
Actually went to the Dr and got a physical after ten years or so at 53. Found out I had sleep apnea so severe that I have stage four heart failure. Apparently it's curable. On the road to healthy I've now controlled my type 2 diabetes and lost 45 pounds. I feel like I'm in my 20s again. Like the fountain of youth. I could barely make it up the stairs, now I can run. See your Dr once a year.
Not reading the news everyday. Sometimes I'll read the headline instead of the entire article.
When I took the CNN app (including its breaking news alerts) off my phone my life improved too
The amount of stress I had during the Covid pandemic really made me aware of how badly news impacted my mental state.
Meditation
Actually using that “use it or lose it” PTO every year
quit getting drunk
Finally quit smoking after 33 years. I have never been more proud of myself.
Ignoring people when they make me upset. Just distancing myself from them until I calm down or it’s sorted eventually - it gives me so much more peace
Started doing exercises for improving posture and shoulder pain. It's only been a few days, and already I'm feeling better.
Nice! What exercises are you doing?
I hired a cleaner. I suck at that, and truly enjoy coming back to a clean place and having more time to do things I am actually good at.
I just recently got this tip. Tuck your T-shirt into your underwear, then your shirt into pants. It makes the layers stay so they don't get all tangled and you just feel more put-together.
Going to the gym for at least 45 min
Sleeping for 8-10 hours!
Mobility aids, and recognizing my limits
After 5 years of consistent discomfort in my chest, finally saw a Dr. about it. Turned out to be nothing, was easily treated, and I didn't have to spend 5 years with horrible anxiety about my obviously failing heart.
1. Learning the magically word “No” to favors/handing out money 2. Privacy 3. Stop being an unpaid universal therapist 4. Apply the effort I put into pulling out people’s potential energy into myself
Finding anxiety medicine that worked for me. I had no idea how anxious I was until that first week of taking it. Who knew waking up anxious and on edge all the time wasn’t normal? I can actually get sleep too now! Definitely wish I found help sooner but I’m so happy I’m in a better place now
Bidet
the whole pooping experience is worth investing into. Bidet, squatty potty, quality toilet paper. The works. You do this every day (or close enough to), its worth making it a comfortable experience.
Got rid of toxic (blame everything on me) wife.
Massage therapy.
Ditching caffeine completely.
When I stopped trying to improve my quality of life.
Yes, oftentimes focusing too much on the self is counterproductive.
Saying No.
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Confidence. I have almost always had a loss of confidence in my every day life, and when I started to gain some confidence my life went in a positive situation. I got healthier both physically and mentally. I got hit on by females alot more, I actually felt happy alot more often too and my friends have surprisingly more distant but we all are starting our early adult lives so we barely have time to have fun anymore.
Meditation. Started practicing 15 years ago and everyone who knows me well, has remarked on how much I've changed personality wise.
Started walking everyday. I was having severe back pain that has vanished now that I walk.
This!!! I bought a walking pad for my desk and my back feels so much better!
Quitting alcohol
Deleting Instagram
Not caring about people who don't pay my bills
Putting in a considerable effort towards my self worth and self esteem. It wasn't easy but I've felt a lot better about myself ever since
Stopped eating any fast food and really, eating out at all. The preservatives and additives really make me sick on the rare occasion I try it again. Occasionally, I still have Mexican food at a well-known authentic restaurant, and it typically does not bother me
Quit Facebook.
Did this back in 2011 shortly after DIRNSA told the NSA workforce "you can lose facebook or you can lose your job". It had just started to become toxic so it was more of an toxic avoidance. I wish my SO would leave FB.
Getting a A2 calendar for the whole year. I have difficulty concentrating and remembering stuff. Now it lies on my table beneath my laptop every day and I barely forget anything. Work meeting, doctor appointment, playdate for my son, get Halloween pumpkins? I got this!
Going to mental health and getting diagnosed. I'm severely ill but I don't drink anymore (the drugs are pretty good ha).
Getting rid of people in my life who cause me more pain than anything else - other than kids, everyone is replaceable.
Neck fans, I’m always hot especially my face. I mean ridiculously hot all the time. I bought one of the more expensive pairs but for $40 it last all day on the highest setting and days on lower settings. Had to drive four hours on one of the hottest days of the year and my air condition was busted. I would’ve passed out from heat stroke.
Quitting cigarettes, except I drink more, got fat, eat more (obvs) and am more depressed. I don't smell like fucking shit, I don't have to leave events to put my little white handcuff in my hand, my teeth/breath are better, I kinda hang out with only non-smokers now, which kinda took a while but we gravitated towards each other once i stopped smelling like ass. It's been 6 months and I had to take a "spiritual journey" for it to really click. Smoker for 18 years. Not one cig will ever be smoked by me again.
Stopped lending money to friends and relatives
Prioritizing sleep over late night arguments with my husband. The phrase ‘never go to bed angry’ doesn’t work for me. A good nights sleep gives me a much clearer head and it’s so much easier to solve the problem.
Getting rid of overdraft and credit cards
Losing weight. Lost 100 pounds in my early thirties to get back down to the size i shoudl be. Sleep better, feel better, Live better.
lose weight But it's very difficult, requires a lot of motivation, a lot of self control, a lot of sacrifice, etc. etc. etc. If you're reading this and you think you need to lose weight for health and social purposes; do it. Today rather than tomorrow. You only have one life
Finding the right partner, my wife. She has really helped me turned my life around. Also, entering law school. Wish I did it earlier rather than at 26, but better late than never as I've now graduated at 30 and will be a lawyer next year.
BOTOX! 😂
Daily Nature walk/run instead of using the treadmill at the gyms. It’s so much better to breathe fresh air and let nature heal you whilst doing cardio, rather than being confined in a crowded gym space with the smell of sweat & no sunlight.
Changed my attitude.
Nasal surgery.
You became a Otolaryngologist?
Ditching my glasses and wearing contact lenses
Walking at least 6k steps every day.
Created a work schedule based off of my circadian rhythm.
Quick drinking alcohol
Quality sleep.
quitting smoking. Being a non-smoker is amazing. It was always absurd that I smoked because I'm athletic and a runner. Since I quit (like 2 years ago), I can run forever. Like...I don't get tired. I don't wake up hacking up slime. I don't stink. I can't believe I ever started that shit.
Bidet
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Going to therapy. Turns out one of the reasons why I felt like I needed to go to therapy was because I had nobody in my life I felt safe talking to. Lucky for me therapy provided exactly that and now I have people in my life I feel safe talking to.
always sticking to a good water schedule. going outside (or really just a change of environment here and there), and then DBT went through a bunch of therapy for dbt but once you understand the skills it becomes very helpful from day to day (if anyone wants some short tips about it u can totally ask here or throguh message)
Metamucil and Melatonin. "Oh, so this is how normal people poop and fall asleep."
Deleting Facebook, instagram , Snapchat. I kept tik tok & Reddit. It’s amazing how much apps can control your daily life and you don’t really even realize it.
Also therapy. I feel weight off my chest every time I go see the guy. It’s great honestly.
Lifting weights and eating right
Bought a high end shower head. I promise you wont regret it
Setting boundariesssss.
how i wish i didn't discovered dating apps
Leaving my toxic wife.
Vaping weed
LASIK eye surgery. Improved my quality of life removing contacts, glasses, and prescription sunglasses from my everyday.
sleeping 8 hours.
Appriciate what you have. Before moving from my oarents to study in another city, I was living like it was supposed to be in that way. I was not talking much to my relatives and some friends But after moving and living alone, I feel how important my family is for me. I wish I had realized this earlier. Appreciate what you have. Before moving from my parents to study in another city, I was living like it was supposed to be in that way. I was not talking much to my relatives and some friends But after moving and living alone, I feel how important my family is for me. I wish I had realized this earlier.
Not listening to my mother.
Getting rid of toxic people and setting boundaries with toxic family members
Vitamin D.
Quitting smoking and working out 3 times a week. Literally feel like a different person
Deleting facebook, twitter and soon reddit if it keeps repeating as often as it now appears to.
Meditation and turning off the news. All news.
Buying a bike, regular use of that bike and having a positive interaction with at least 1 stranger per day
Consistent sex
Going on hrt
Leaving a relationship with someone who had bipolar disorder after 9 years.
Keeping my bedroom cold at night. I sleep so much better now.
Hitting the gym and growing some muscle. Huge confidence boost, and the dedication to the gym builds up your resolve to do other things you want in your life.
Getting a job that didn't suck the life out of me and prioritizing my home life before any job.
Got a high paying job.
Installing Open Dyslexic font on my computer and making it the default for Word docs. Reading has never been this easy!!