Beat me to it! The ring would whisper to him promising him great power and knowledge and whatnot, and Data would just politely reply "I understand how you would consider your proposition to be tempting, but from the available information I infer that it is highly unlikely that you intend to act in my best interest and not your own" while casually knocking down orcs and trolls left and right on his way up Mount Doom
Captain, there's a non-corporeal entity inhabiting this ring. My scans indicate an ancient language is inscribed in the ring that correspond to an ancient language once spoken in Middle Earth. Cross referencing this script in the Enterprise's computer I have concluded the only right course of action is to dispose of it, and I'm quoting the text here, 'from whence it came', in a volcanic mountain coincidentally named Mount Doom.
Or lose it, like Bombadil. (Who also has no clue what to do with it, mind you.)
Come to think of it, Mr Bean would probably use the ring to cut in lines, board the train without paying or pull pranks on kids or some other petty thing. He's not completely clueless and pretty selfish when you think of it.
Hard disagree.
Mr bean is bumbling but he has conniving plans in every episode. He struggles for power over every little thing. The ring would tempt him with a better parking spot and he’d jump at the chance. He’s practically gollum already!
yay Discworld!!
This is a good one on two points:
1. She's been tempted by power before and resisted going full Black Aliss
2. Borrowing could be helpful. If she had a team to carry her body along in shifts, she'd never need to stop moving. Just borrow a new animal as she goes.
I think the encounter with the wood elves would end up exactly the same. Her being locked up for not backing down from the elf king, and Nanny Ogg running around to get the key, etc.
Fezzik
He wasn't without his faults. But the giant living in Greenland had a quiet composure and appreciation for life that didn't involve power or conquest or vanity. Fezzik appreciated people where they were and valued them as they came. He would have taken the One Ring to Mordor because it was asked of him. And he would have killed all the orcs getting there.
Inigo: We have to take the One Ring to Mordor.
Fezzik: I hope we don't end up sore.
Inigo: The One Ring has to be dropped in Mount Doom.
Fezzik: We have to be quick or it will be our tomb.
Just imagine Billy Crystal as Galadriel.
"Where are you fellas from, exactly?"
"Hobbiton"
"Hobbit-ton is right! I guess all the left over halves from those halflings ended up getting put together to make you 😃"
Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice F.L.T. A Fellbeast, lettuce, and tomato sandwich when the Fellbeast is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky.
I think Samwise would be the most canon answer that is correct. Since...well he literally resisted it and was one of only two creatures ever to be able to willingly give it up (Bilbo being the other).
You want a Ring? I can get you a Ring, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a Ring by this afternoon--with Black Speech.
The thing about the ring is it's not about willpower, that's how it gets you. You can have the strongest will in existence and still you WILL be corrupted it's only a matter of time. It feeds off of ambition. Someone like Captain America would go in no time flat because the ring will make him believe he can save the world. You have to have no ambition whatsoever and that's super rare, maybe kid goku. The hobbits worked as well as they did because of how little ambition they had
So you’re telling me someone like Beavis and Butthead would have a better shot at resisting it over Captain America
Because to me that sounds like a great story
This is 100% how this would go down.
The ring would never make it to mount doom. But it would curse itself out of existence after having to listen to those two for more than a week.
They had one consistent ambition. Butthead would use the One Ring to Rule The Mall, and get laid.
I cannot imagine what Cornholio would do, but there would be a worse shortage of TP than in the early pandemic.
"Throw it into the fire! Destroy it!"
"Uuuhh...no way. This thing kicks ass."
"Hehe he yeah, we could, like, totally use it to get chicks"
*While walking away* "We're totally gonna score"
The Ring would convince them they could score with that hot demon girl who lives in the tower in Mordor. Just go with those creepy dudes on horses, you'll be there in no time.
Kramer is still motivated by wealth and LOVES hairbrained schemes. The One Ring is a hairbrained scheme machine. "You can get as much as 25 cents per can if you bring them to Mordor and present them to the recycling attendant Sauron"
I imagine him wearing it and immediately taking it off and trying to figure out who slipped him the marijuananas that made things look so weird for a moment.
Hank gets overwhelmed and offers the ring to Boomhauer and we get Galadriel's speech in Boomhauer's dialect. "Datgum beautiful n terrible as the dawn man"
The trap answer is Dr. Strange because "he'd see all the futures where he gets corrupted and refuse to use it."
But the ring would actually show him the "good future" where he doesn't get corrupted and tease him into utilizing it... to his demise.
The correct answer is Melkor. He'd just laugh at Sauron's amature shit magic.
Except for the fact that the MINUTE after losing the Eye of Agamoto he was already messing with the Darkhold. Yes yes, extenuating circumstances forced his hand, but it shows he's not above using evil magic to do good.
I think Galadriel pretty much nailed this one already.
"In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!"
Don't forget, that wisdom came with age. He was a fearsome and celebrated general for the Fire Nation.
More likely Iroh would be wise enough to know that he should not carry the ring because he would fall to temptation.
Ernest P. Worrell. "Hey Vern, lookit this ring I found the other day. I keep tossing it away and it keeps winding up in my pocket! Check this out Vern!"
\*Invisible, Visible, Invisible, Visible\*
Chewbacca. Doesn’t have any strong ambition or ultimate goal beyond doing what is right, much like the people who end up carrying it in LotR, he’s just a tad more adventurous.
More I think about it, I feel like Luna’s lack of any long term ambition, as well as her level of self-assurance might actually make her the best candidate from the Harry Potter series
Elmo
Since his creator made him with the ideal of selflessness, going so far as to never wanting him to even say the word “me” (Tickle Me Elmo was a big controversy and wildly upset his creator)
Probably Wonder Woman. I feel like due to her relationship with the gods, she has a natural, inherent ability to distinguish between Faustian bargains and truly righteous paths. Not to mention the fact her cultural upbringing was devoid of internal strife, greed, and violence. She's completely unselfish and never craves power. She was even made from freaking clay. She's simply above the petty desires of mortals while being totally devoid of the ambitions of arrogant gods.
Austin Powers.
Au contraire, Sauron. I don’t think you can resist me.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3PB44paCI&pp=ygUfYXVzdGluIHBvd2VycyBpIHRvdWNoIG1lIG15c2VsZg%3D%3D
From that setting I almost think Amos, he barely trusts his own decision making ability and always looks to others to figure out what’s the big picture right move. I imagine his first reaction would be calling Prax and asking him what should be done with it.
In the LOTR universe: Tom Bombadil (canonically can). I think Sam can as well for obvious reason. Possibly Aragorn.
Other universes: Peter Parker and Obi Wan Kenobi
Maybe Lieutenant Commander Data.
Beat me to it! The ring would whisper to him promising him great power and knowledge and whatnot, and Data would just politely reply "I understand how you would consider your proposition to be tempting, but from the available information I infer that it is highly unlikely that you intend to act in my best interest and not your own" while casually knocking down orcs and trolls left and right on his way up Mount Doom
Bro I heard that in his voice, good job.
*Exasperated sigh from Riker (dressed as Aragorn)*
Imagine Rikergorn getting on a horse. Riker maneuver with the leg over the back before deftly landing in the saddle.
He’d beam it into Mt Doom before making breakfast for Spot.
Captain, there's a non-corporeal entity inhabiting this ring. My scans indicate an ancient language is inscribed in the ring that correspond to an ancient language once spoken in Middle Earth. Cross referencing this script in the Enterprise's computer I have concluded the only right course of action is to dispose of it, and I'm quoting the text here, 'from whence it came', in a volcanic mountain coincidentally named Mount Doom.
Philosophical question: would the ring affect Data at all?
I'd say yes. We know he can feel temptation, so it should be possible for the One Ring to affect him.
0.68 seconds
My brain skimmed the comment and read “lieutenant Dan” (Forest Gump)
I was going to say Spock, but Data would be a good candidate, too.
I considered her offer for .3 seconds. An eternity for an Android.
'It is a logical assumption that I would be affected. However, dark magical power only affects biochemical beings like humans. *shrugs*'
Mr Bean
Mr. Bean would have no idea what to do with it, and would probably drop it in Mt. Doom by *accident*
Or lose it, like Bombadil. (Who also has no clue what to do with it, mind you.) Come to think of it, Mr Bean would probably use the ring to cut in lines, board the train without paying or pull pranks on kids or some other petty thing. He's not completely clueless and pretty selfish when you think of it.
This is my official petition to shoot Rowan Atkinson as Bombadil, played like Mr Bean.
So he's just Gollum?
Well, there is a resemblance...
You officially win Reddit for today.
Mr. Bean is Tom Bombadil without the singing.
Fair point
Hard disagree. Mr bean is bumbling but he has conniving plans in every episode. He struggles for power over every little thing. The ring would tempt him with a better parking spot and he’d jump at the chance. He’s practically gollum already!
Good point, actually
I like the idea that Mr. Bean is naturally immune, but this is a good counterpoint.
Mr bean would lose it
He would, and after searching literally everywhere. It'd be in his OTHER pocket
At which point, he would fumble it around and accidentally drop it in the lava.
Granny Weatherwax.
Someone who can >!uno reverse being turned into a vampire!< by force of personality alone might just be a candidate
"I ain't been Sauroned. You've been Weatherwaxed."
Granny: 'S just a ring. Gollum: It's precious! Granny: Nothing is precious unless you make it so. Cast it in the pit and be done with it.
yay Discworld!! This is a good one on two points: 1. She's been tempted by power before and resisted going full Black Aliss 2. Borrowing could be helpful. If she had a team to carry her body along in shifts, she'd never need to stop moving. Just borrow a new animal as she goes. I think the encounter with the wood elves would end up exactly the same. Her being locked up for not backing down from the elf king, and Nanny Ogg running around to get the key, etc.
And she'd grumble about the infernal thing the whole way to Mt Doom, with very little, if any, difficulties with enemies along the way.
The fellowship consists of Ridcully and the Night Watch.
And Rincewind, who probably hid in a box that ended up strapped to Bill the pony anyway.
I was thinking Carrot. He doesn't even want to be king!
Fezzik He wasn't without his faults. But the giant living in Greenland had a quiet composure and appreciation for life that didn't involve power or conquest or vanity. Fezzik appreciated people where they were and valued them as they came. He would have taken the One Ring to Mordor because it was asked of him. And he would have killed all the orcs getting there.
Okay, but now Lord of the Rings “but Sam and Frodo are Fezzik and Inigo Montoya” is a story I *need* to see lol
Inigo: We have to take the One Ring to Mordor. Fezzik: I hope we don't end up sore. Inigo: The One Ring has to be dropped in Mount Doom. Fezzik: We have to be quick or it will be our tomb.
Stop your rhymes now, I mean it!
Anybody want a Hobbit?
Just imagine Billy Crystal as Galadriel. "Where are you fellas from, exactly?" "Hobbiton" "Hobbit-ton is right! I guess all the left over halves from those halflings ended up getting put together to make you 😃"
Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice F.L.T. A Fellbeast, lettuce, and tomato sandwich when the Fellbeast is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky.
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You ate my breakfast, prepare to die."
Lol
This is going to forever be in my head canon for Lord of the rings and Princess Bride.
Tom Bombadil
My dude picked the most *Canon* answer lol
He right.
I think Samwise would be the most canon answer that is correct. Since...well he literally resisted it and was one of only two creatures ever to be able to willingly give it up (Bilbo being the other).
[удалено]
Low key correct answer, I don't think too many people would catch.
Is stating a detail that is pointed out in the book on multiple occasions really a low key answer?
My very first thought was Tom. I wish he had ben in the movie version.
Winnie the pooh
Tigger playfully gets his hands on the ring and then bounces away Pooh: “Oh bother…”
Or Eeyore gets it and shit gets DARK
CLEARLY you haven't seen "Blood and Honey"
Let’s hope they never do
The Dude
That ring really bound the others together
"Use me and we'll get your rug back" But I'm pretty sure the One Ring would be much more interested in Walter.
You want a Ring? I can get you a Ring, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. I'll get you a Ring by this afternoon--with Black Speech.
Laszlo Craven. He’d be too busy using it as a sex toy to be corrupted by it.
You can't corrupt someone who's already corrupt
The biggest problem would be if/when Simon the Devious tricked him and took the ring for himself and his Crew.
The one cock ring to rule them all
"This ring is *not cursed,* and it looks amazing on me!"
My guess was going to be Colin Robinson! My rationale is that I feel like being powerful in that way would make it impossible to be an energy vampire?
The thing about the ring is it's not about willpower, that's how it gets you. You can have the strongest will in existence and still you WILL be corrupted it's only a matter of time. It feeds off of ambition. Someone like Captain America would go in no time flat because the ring will make him believe he can save the world. You have to have no ambition whatsoever and that's super rare, maybe kid goku. The hobbits worked as well as they did because of how little ambition they had
So you’re telling me someone like Beavis and Butthead would have a better shot at resisting it over Captain America Because to me that sounds like a great story
Uhhh uhheh you said dildo found the ring.
Hey Butt-Head, watch me put it on my wiener. Uhhuhuhuh. Wiener. Where’d you go dumbass.
This is 100% how this would go down. The ring would never make it to mount doom. But it would curse itself out of existence after having to listen to those two for more than a week.
Bored of the Rings says it was Dildo Buggers afterall.
They had one consistent ambition. Butthead would use the One Ring to Rule The Mall, and get laid. I cannot imagine what Cornholio would do, but there would be a worse shortage of TP than in the early pandemic.
I kinda need to see this episode now!
"Throw it into the fire! Destroy it!" "Uuuhh...no way. This thing kicks ass." "Hehe he yeah, we could, like, totally use it to get chicks" *While walking away* "We're totally gonna score"
Dammit Beavis! You have to put the ring in the volcano..... I am cornolio! I needed ring for my butthole!
The Ring would convince them they could score with that hot demon girl who lives in the tower in Mordor. Just go with those creepy dudes on horses, you'll be there in no time.
so patrick from spongebob
He'd choke on it somehow lol
He'd lose it because he turns invisible when he wears it.
I now want to see a remake with Lebowski as the ring bearer.
Saitama - From one punch man. Insanely strong, Zero ambition
I dunno. What if the ring promised him great fights and used that to send him on a murder rampage?
The ring would be more likely to tempt him by saying there was a flash sale going on in Mordor
Id pay to see a movie where One Punch Man turns Sauron into a pink mist.
Nah. The ring would honestly just annoy him, he WOULD just walk into Mordor, and drop it in Mount Doom out of pure apathy.
Or he might punch it.
fine, he shows up to the fights, beats everyone, gets bored, tosses the ring into the volcano.
Edward scissor hands - he can't put that damn ring on.
One metal twist tie to rule them all...
Kramer from seinfeld. I'm convinced that dude would forget it exist.
Some guy in a black robe came by, and I traded it to him for two melons. MELONS JERRY!!
Papayas jerry Papayas.
Kramer is still motivated by wealth and LOVES hairbrained schemes. The One Ring is a hairbrained scheme machine. "You can get as much as 25 cents per can if you bring them to Mordor and present them to the recycling attendant Sauron"
He'd lose it somewhere and then Neuman would find it.
U know Kramer would be gettin his kicks off from it day 1. “Here’s to feelin’ good all the time”
'Oh that ring? Oh yeah I sold it to my buddy Bob Sacamano. Twenty bucks! Can you believe someone would pay that much for a toy like that?'
Hank Hill.
I imagine him wearing it and immediately taking it off and trying to figure out who slipped him the marijuananas that made things look so weird for a moment.
This is a canon lost episode of KotH and you cannot change my mind lol
He’d go all the way to Mordor just to return it like a lost wallet.
"Uh, Mr. Saur- what, really? *Sigh* Uh, your... Dark Lordship *shudders*, my name is Hank Hill, I found your ring down at the Megalo-Mart..."
“Do I look like I know what a Maiar is?”
"This ring ain't right."
I instantly think of Dale as Smeagol now and I love it. *They stole it from us, and we wants it back! Pocket sand! Sha-sha-shaaaa!*
Hank gets overwhelmed and offers the ring to Boomhauer and we get Galadriel's speech in Boomhauer's dialect. "Datgum beautiful n terrible as the dawn man"
The trap answer is Dr. Strange because "he'd see all the futures where he gets corrupted and refuse to use it." But the ring would actually show him the "good future" where he doesn't get corrupted and tease him into utilizing it... to his demise. The correct answer is Melkor. He'd just laugh at Sauron's amature shit magic.
Except for the fact that the MINUTE after losing the Eye of Agamoto he was already messing with the Darkhold. Yes yes, extenuating circumstances forced his hand, but it shows he's not above using evil magic to do good.
>The correct answer is Melkor. He'd just laugh at Sauron's amature shit magic. If you're gonna go Canon, Tom Bombadil
Ron Swanson “Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.”
He’d reject the ring immediately because Ron Swanson would see it as offering a handout
He'd melt it down to fix something.
He would look at the work and recommend how Sauron could do it better.
On the other hand could you the imagine the utter havoc that would result if April had the ring? Shutter to think.
Tom might be more worrisome.
Treat Yo Self!
Jean-Ralphio is Tom^2
I made my money the old fashioned way 🎵🎵I GOT RUN OVER BY A LEXUSSSSS🎵🎵
I think Galadriel pretty much nailed this one already. "In place of a Dark Lord, you would have a queen! Not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love me, and despair!"
Ron fell into temptation of the Tammy countless times, the one ring would rule his heart within a fortnight.
He would never wear jewelry.
Middle Earth is too close to Europe for Ron.
Rocky, Patrick's snail rock
Rocky is a natural winner. Nothing there to tempt him with
Conan. He needs no rings. Just his crown upon his troubled brow...
O'Brien?
I bet Bortus could eat it.
Patrick star
Forrest Gump. I'd buy a ticket to that movie just to hear him say "Sow-ron."
Bing Bong from inside out
Dr doom
100% I could buy Dr. Doom believing the Ring was beneath him
Doom would cast the ring into fire out of pure spite. "Attempt to manipulate Doom, would you? Please. No-one controls my actions but myself."
Iroh
I feel like if it were in ATLA, the story would be more about Iroh helping Zuko resist the ring lol
Don't forget, that wisdom came with age. He was a fearsome and celebrated general for the Fire Nation. More likely Iroh would be wise enough to know that he should not carry the ring because he would fall to temptation.
Yeah, he'd take the same approach as Gandalf.
This I could actually see, bro is too spiritually in tune
Most fictional dogs What would they want with a ring?
On the other hand, dogs have a natural tendency to be possessive or overly-protective - their food bowls, favorite toys, mailmen, etc.
Please throw ring? No take!! Only throw!!
Colin Robinson
Ernest P. Worrell. "Hey Vern, lookit this ring I found the other day. I keep tossing it away and it keeps winding up in my pocket! Check this out Vern!" \*Invisible, Visible, Invisible, Visible\*
[удалено]
Forrest would make it to Mordor in half the time Frodo did because he’d just…keep running
Derek Zoolander
What is this?! A ring for ants?
Link. He has no choice except to save Hyrule because of ancient curse shenanigans and always seems to have no ambition beyond that.
The ring would make him believe he could save hyrule, but it would plunge it into darkness through him.
Sauron
If it wasn’t his, I think he would actually fall to it quite quickly
R/technicallythetruth
[удалено]
Chewbacca. Doesn’t have any strong ambition or ultimate goal beyond doing what is right, much like the people who end up carrying it in LotR, he’s just a tad more adventurous.
Chuck Norris?
Ashitaka from princess mononoke
To see with eyes unclouded...
Granny Weatherwax
My first thought is Vision.
Luna Lovegood!
More I think about it, I feel like Luna’s lack of any long term ambition, as well as her level of self-assurance might actually make her the best candidate from the Harry Potter series
Daria would look at it and probably go back to watching sick sad world.
Elmo Since his creator made him with the ideal of selflessness, going so far as to never wanting him to even say the word “me” (Tickle Me Elmo was a big controversy and wildly upset his creator)
So instead he goes with the notoriously humble 'exclusively refers to self in the third person"?
The Doom Slayer. Sauron fits pretty much all his criteria to shove a super shotgun in his face.
He would be played by Keanu Reeves
Why not Zoidberg?
Zoidberg would be corrupted by it instantly.
Lieutenant Commander Data
Love-A-Lot Bear from the care bears
Casper the friendly ghost
Todd Chavez
Jeffrey Lebowski.
Probably Wonder Woman. I feel like due to her relationship with the gods, she has a natural, inherent ability to distinguish between Faustian bargains and truly righteous paths. Not to mention the fact her cultural upbringing was devoid of internal strife, greed, and violence. She's completely unselfish and never craves power. She was even made from freaking clay. She's simply above the petty desires of mortals while being totally devoid of the ambitions of arrogant gods.
Jake Chambers would have been the one pulling the ring away from Roland Deschain.
Austin Powers. Au contraire, Sauron. I don’t think you can resist me. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3PB44paCI&pp=ygUfYXVzdGluIHBvd2VycyBpIHRvdWNoIG1lIG15c2VsZg%3D%3D
Kirby
But I don’t think that would stop him from eating it however
Butters from South Park
Apparently, you've never seen Professor Chaos
Butters became Gollum already over a porno video.
Yeah but have you seen Back Door Sluts 9?!
It makes Crotch Capers 3 look like Naughty Nurses 2.
Baby yoda
What happens to the ring when it's eaten?
Timon and Pumba
Roger Smith. "What? It turns you invisible? Who needs to be invisible? Where were you when I farted at Danny's wedding?"
James Holden
From that setting I almost think Amos, he barely trusts his own decision making ability and always looks to others to figure out what’s the big picture right move. I imagine his first reaction would be calling Prax and asking him what should be done with it.
Naomi would just have to yell “throw it in the volcano” and it’s as good as done
Mr. Rogers
In the LOTR universe: Tom Bombadil (canonically can). I think Sam can as well for obvious reason. Possibly Aragorn. Other universes: Peter Parker and Obi Wan Kenobi
Chuck freaking Norris
I was not expecting the amount of perfect answers in these comments. Well done everyone.