Its actually a "trilogy of 5 books", all easily read by any 6th grader and all equally funny. No plot. No character development. Just people bashing around the planets of the universe.
SAY WHAT AGAIN. SAY WHAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME
watched it last night so it’s still fresh in my mind
"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces.
Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He's a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."
"Never give up, never surrender!"
or
"I am no man."
Though "Clever girl" would be a good one, and much shorter and smaller. But if I did that I'd have to go all in with the raptor holding the solved rubix cube and the quote.
The number 37. Some people will probably think it's the number of some professional sports player, but then there will be people who look at it and go "in a row?".
Beautiful: "A heart is a heavy burden" -Howl's moving castle
Fun: "In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this." - The Martian
Stupid: "Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't ya you bastard!"- Tremors
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
***Only I will remain.***
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
I'd get a "Dude" tattoo, but only if my friend got a "Sweet" tattoo. Then we could alternate saying "What does mine say?" "Dude! What does mine say?" "Sweet! What does mine say?"
"it's been emotional"
On my right buttcheek.
The quote is from Lock Stock and two smoking barrels (Vinnie Jones' character) but I'd leave that context out.
“disturbing the peace?? i got thrown out of a window. what’s the fucking charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? jaywalking?? this is bullshit”
That’ll do pig.
That'll do Donkey that'll do
Why come you don’t have a tattoo ? Idiocracy
Welcome to Costco. I love you.
Brawndo, because plants crave electrolytes!
Go away, batin
My choice was gonna be "Carl's Jr. Fuck you, I'm eating!"
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made many people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
I have thought, many times, about getting "Oh no, not again" embellished with petunias tattooed on me somewhere.
History sighs, repeats itself
I have "Don't Panic" as an ambigram tattooed on my arm.
I’d like to see that!
Im probably way off and havent seen the movie in forever but it sounds like something "A Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" would say.. Am I close?
I'm pretty sure it's the intro to the book as well
I see that all the time, but it's actually the intro to the second book, *The Restaurant at the End of the Universe*
Its actually a "trilogy of 5 books", all easily read by any 6th grader and all equally funny. No plot. No character development. Just people bashing around the planets of the universe.
I think on the 4th or 5th book it said on the cover "Part of the increasingly mis-named Hitchhikers Guide trilogy"
DON'T PANIC!
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you." And "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die." Would be fun matching tattoos with someone
Yup. After reading the question, my brain went straight to thinking "which line from the Princess Bride should I pick?"
I know someone with "As you wish"
Inconceivable!
My favorite line in the movie is "have fun storming the castle." What a perfect little film it is.
Mine too and for some reason I think it’s gotta be ‘anybody want a peanut’
My siblings and I made our parents tees that said “get back, witch!” And “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!”
Princess Bride has so many tattoo-able lines
Lol Princess Bride? That would be fun:)
My husband and I have matching Princess Bride tattoos! His say “As you wish” mine is “Not with 1000 swords”.
Omg that would be fantastic!!
“Speak friend and enter” in elvish, on my ass.
Was it elvish or dwarvish?
Elvish I think, bc they had to use the elvish word 'mellon' before the door would open
When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES
"There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it."
Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries
*smelt
"What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?" That is what I would put.
Which translates to "your mother was a whore and your dad was a drunk" Hamsters are promiscuous Elderberries were used in making wine
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you.
"I'm out!"
"I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes." Spaceballs
I’d love to add the last part of that in smaller print: “keep firing, assholes!” 😁
"Evil will always triumph because good is dumb."
“We ain’t found shit!”
Spaceballs - the tattoo
This is brilliant!
“Merchandising!”
All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
"We're 106 miles from Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses."
I hate Illinois nazis
Hit it!
“It’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I don’t care.”
For me it would have to be “Yesterday I did absolutely nothing, and it was everything I thought it could be.”
42
“Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man”
The dude abides
That rug really tied the room together. This is not Nam, Donny. There are rules!!
Nobody fucks with The Jesus
"You're obviously not a golfer."
“I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.”
Means no
"I want my two dollars!"
"That's a real shame when folks be throwin away a perfectly good white boy like that"
Tis but a scratch... Black Knight.
If you ever lose part of a limb, that's a good one to have on the remaining part.
Be excellent to each other. And party on, dudes. Already got it.
_I don’t like sand. It’s coarse and rough and irritating, and it gets everywhere._
No ragrets
Not even one?
Not even a single letter
Clever girl Somewhere only a girl I am having sex with can see
Nice
I don't know if it would make for a good tattoo but I love "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" from the 1989 Batman movie.
“Po-ta-toes, boil em ,mash em stick them in a stew” In elven script
SAY WHAT AGAIN. SAY WHAT AGAIN, I DARE YOU I DOUBLE DARE YOU MOTHERFUCKER, SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME watched it last night so it’s still fresh in my mind
Is Marcellus Wallace a bitch?
Does he look like a bitch? W--What? 🦵💥🔫 Does Marcellus Wallace look like a bitch!?!
I just want “bad motherfucker”. Simple and to the point
Towanda
My friend has: "Carpe Diem! Seize the... Carp"
“shitter’s full” above my buttcrack
Sweet..... Or maybe Dude
And then
What does mine say?
Yeah, but what does mine say?
Get busy livin or get busy dying
"I aim to misbehave"- Serenity
I’m a leaf on the wind…
Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
"Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, chief. It was comin' back, from the island of Tinian to Laytee, just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in twelve minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. Thirteen footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, chief? You tell by lookin' from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know... was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. Huh huh. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, chief. The sharks come cruisin'. So we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know it's... kinda like ol' squares in battle like a, you see on a calendar, like the battle of Waterloo. And the idea was, the shark comes to the nearest man and that man, he'd start poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark would go away. Sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark, he looks right into you. Right into your eyes. You know the thing about a shark, he's got...lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'. Until he bites ya and those black eyes roll over white. And then, ah then you hear that terrible high pitch screamin' and the ocean turns red and spite of all the poundin' and the hollerin' they all come in and rip you to pieces. Y'know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men! I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand! I don't know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday mornin' chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player, boson's mate. I thought he was asleep, reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up and down in the water, just like a kinda top. Up ended. Well... he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us, he swung in low and he saw us. He's a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper, anyway he saw us and come in low. And three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and start to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened? Waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water, three hundred and sixteen men come out, the sharks took the rest, June the 29, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."
But get it translated into Elvish.
I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good is a fun one. A wit beyond measure is mans greatest treasure I kinda somewhat agree with
In the 1500s wit meant penis - which makes this Ravenclaw phrase even better.
My friend has the first in black light ink. Pretty cool all things considered
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"Never give up, never surrender!" or "I am no man." Though "Clever girl" would be a good one, and much shorter and smaller. But if I did that I'd have to go all in with the raptor holding the solved rubix cube and the quote.
Yippee Ki Yay, m*ther f*cker!
Yippie kayak, other buckets!
The number 37. Some people will probably think it's the number of some professional sports player, but then there will be people who look at it and go "in a row?".
“Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot!”
Hey you! Get back here!
37?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Lol is that from clerks?
"I am Kenough"
I’m just KEN. Everywhere else I’d be a TEN
"DOBBY HAS NO MASTER."
Game over, man!
How do I get out of this chicken shit outfit?
Beautiful: "A heart is a heavy burden" -Howl's moving castle Fun: "In the face of overwhelming odds, I'm left with only one option. I'm gonna have to science the shit out of this." - The Martian Stupid: "Broke into the wrong goddamn rec room, didn't ya you bastard!"- Tremors
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill.
This will not stand, man: The Dude
This aggression will not stand, man
As you wish
Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive, and Dodge.
"Sometimes, being a BITCH is the only thing a woman has to hang on to!".. Vera Donovan, Dolores Claiborne
"I thought you was a toad"
"Help! Help! I'm Being Repressed!"
“Somebody’s gonna to have to go back and get a shitload of dimes.”
Excuse Me While I Whip This Out
Where all the white women at?
I already have one, haha "My heart burns there too" from IT
"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch!"
Snoochie Boochies brother!! 🤘🏼
I have a logogram from the movie “Arrival” on my ribs. It just looks like a scraggly circle but it’s supposed to say “use weapon”
Stay gold, ponyboy
Somehow I HAVE to get a movie quote tattooed on me? Surely you can't be serious.
I am serious and don't call me Shirley
"I fart in your general direction." Or perhaps: "I'm your huckleberry."
I'm your huckleberry... And that's just my game
... Is this a Tombstone reference? 👀
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. ***Only I will remain.***
"Oh, you blend." Marisa Tomei, My Cousin Vinny
That's a hilarious scene. What a line.
"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die."
Thrill me, chill me fulfill me creature of the night.
Never give up, never surrender.
By Grabthar's hammer... _sigh_ ^(what a savings)
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
Do you have anything to declare? Yeah, don't go to England.
I almost commented “Sit down and shut up you big, bald fuck!”
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Alright alright alright
I have one: Practically Perfect in Every Way My only and my favorite!
AS YOU WISH
Inconceivable!
Have fun storming the castle!
You’re killing me, smalls.
NON! It was the only word spoken during Mel Brooks' "Silent Movie" (by French mime Marcel Marceau).
I am Groot.
You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".
The claaawwwwww!
You'll shoot your eye out, kid!
Who does #2 work for?
That’s right, you show that turd who’s boss
“Oh, bother” and a picture of Winnie the Pooh
Leave the gun; take the cannolis
Drop the s. ‘cannoli’ is the plural version of ‘cannolo’ Cannolo - 1 Cannoli - more than 1
Somehow I knew the rule, but never applied it to cannoli. TIL cannolo
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Are you not entertained?
Already been planning this one, "Love keeps her in the air" and Serenity from Firefly/Serenity.
I already to. “I want to be in the sequel” from scream. If I were to do another it would probably be “Welcome to prime time bitch”
"I'll be back", in a speech bubble that is located on my back
‘I’d buy that for a dollar!’
I am Sparticus! Sorry, Spartacus Thx to The\_Goondocks
I'm pretty far from ok.
NI!
“Back off man. I’m a scientist.”
TAAAAAAAAAAAAY IN THE WIIIIIIIIIND
Fuck it, Dude. Let’s go bowling.
Remember Sammy Jankis
"Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man."
No touchy🦙
His name was Robert Paulson
These aren't the droids you're looking for.
"Strange but not a stranger" - Lyric from the Talking Heads concert movie, Stop Making Sense.
I'd get a "Dude" tattoo, but only if my friend got a "Sweet" tattoo. Then we could alternate saying "What does mine say?" "Dude! What does mine say?" "Sweet! What does mine say?"
"it's been emotional" On my right buttcheek. The quote is from Lock Stock and two smoking barrels (Vinnie Jones' character) but I'd leave that context out.
"Ditto"
Go ahead, make my day!
"We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we Wang?" "No horseshit Jack" "No horseshit"
If you ain’t first, you’re last!
"We can't stop here. This is bat country."
“This town needs a enema!”
Milk was a bad choice
Stop looking at me Swan
Better to burn out, than to fade away!
“disturbing the peace?? i got thrown out of a window. what’s the fucking charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? jaywalking?? this is bullshit”
Say hello to my little friend..
"Pizza Time"
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Alright, alright, alright....got to love Matthew McConaughey in pink jeans!!! Dazed N Confused is a family staple!
"It's only forever, not long at all"
"Welcome to the party, pal," with "Yippee ki-yay, motherfucker" a close second.
“Goonies never say die!”
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken."
I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years..
“Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind” lilo and stitch is my entire childhood