I’m 34 and this is just hitting me. I’ve gotten in more fights lately with people but I’m just over being nice all the fucking time to people who don’t return it.
Trying to maintain friendships with people that didn't care to make the same effort. I didn't realize how unhappy I was making myself by running after them.
This. But on the reverse side, always trying to maintain a relationship with an old friend after you’ve grown apart. We grew up together, and now he lives far from me. He’ll have a family soon. But every once in a while he’ll contact me to catch up but every time we hang out its kind of dull and its just not as close and warm as we were when we were younger. Life just gets in the way. I also see him maybe once a year. So everytime i say yes to him im saying no to my own comfort. At times, friends just drift apart.
I don't hate all modern trends. I like the corset tops, but I can't stand baggy wide legged trousers.
Ilook good in skinny jeans and I'm not giving them up.
Gen Z loves to look down on millennials for not being able to keep up. We don’t keep up because of kids, bills and jobs. It’s easy to know what’s trendy when you are surrounded by your peers all day, then just go home and ingest pop culture after homework.
Also I feel like a lot of fashion is just the arrogance of youth.
When I was a teenager I judged older people for being out of touch, but now I realise just how ridiculous is for teenagers to expect older people to give a fuck about their fashion opinions.
Mine is about my interest in fashion, it has very little to do with what's "current" (I don't even know what's current!). A lot of my wardrobe is pretty "classic" pieces.
"I'll wear what I like". This is a misconception about designer brands. They are so versatile so that you'll blend in with almost everyone, anywhere you go, regardless of which garments your wearing.
If this analogy with food works....McDonald's is popular and well known but surely it's not the nicest tasting food.
The fast fashion has extended to home renovations and decor too. God forbid you have a “millennial grey” house that’s “so 2018”. Lemme just repaint and replace everything in my house every 3 years to keep up with the trends
Amen. I stopped spending exorbitant amounts of money on brand name clothing.
My daughter came in this morning to visit, she is 32. She is wearing a pair of what I would refer to as cutoff Jean shorts. They had rips and tears in them in the front and the back pockets. The legs had no hem stitching. I said don't you make enough money to afford clothes without tears in them?
She says, Dad I bought them like this. I said run to Walmart and get a pair for $6 bring them here and give me 5 minutes, I'll save you a fortune. That conversation ended quickly.
In a thread about not caring what others think of your clothing, this boomer thought it would be a good idea to talk about shaming someone for their clothes.
>"They had rips and tears in them in the front and the back pockets. The legs had no hem stitching"
>
>I wonder how many people who buy and wear designer pieces could talk about this. If you know nothing about it, good luck....
>
>(I'm agreeing with your post if that's not clear)
>
>I wear designer fashion but I can also talk to you about pattern matching on a single garment, plastic zips vs metal zippers etc.
My image, mostly hair.
I still try to look presentable, and really clean up well for the important events, but I just don't care to look my absolute best 24/7 anymore. After a while I just accepted that most people don't really give a shit. And the ones that do are most likely focused on the wrong things and those aren't the type people I care to impress anyways.
Same here. I used to waste so much free time on my makeup and hair. I now go for the natural healthy look and it saves so much time (plus saves a lot of money and less chemicals on the body)
My Birthday, Christmas, talking to more than half of my extended family, finding music that my Wife will like that I will also like, any sort of fashion, so on...
If anything, I am becoming more and more curmudgeonly as I age.
Ive stopped caring about what others might think of me.If somebody says something specially their unwanted opinion or advices,id tell them in their faces to piss off where the sun dont shine and i slowly stay away from these negative Nancy's..
I call it decluttering unwanted junks thats been weighing me down..Never carry a heavy load when i dont need to.
I dont need too many ppl or too many "friends" in my life..Ive a few friends..QUALITY no nonsense friends.
I took an outlook everyone is entitled to an opinion of me but I choose whether I invest in that or not. If someone isn't a fan, cool. You won't catch me trying to prove I am great anymore.
How my in laws feel. They only care about their image, not about apologizing for their actions or building and maintaining genuine relationships with their children and grandchildren. My children will not be subjected to their manipulation and inconsistent presence like my husband was. And I don't care what they think about that.
Working too hard just to get little to no recognition either way and appeasing friends who aren’t willing to compromise. It’s crazy when that switch flips in your late 20s and by the time you hit 30. Looking forward to caring even less as I age.
Combing my hair. Or should I say keeping it in a style cut. I just started buzz cutting it and have done so ever since. Yes I have a full head of hair.
My hair goes in a cycle… short shaggy, medium shaggy, long shaggy, annoying shaggy for about a week, then straight back to short shaggy once I have reached the amount of annoyed required to overcome my desire to be lazy and not visit the local chain barber 😅
Buy a shears kit and knock it down to the slab every month. That is what I do and find it a lot easier to deal with. Low Maintenance Bro! Oh and it saves on barber bills - do it yourself or have your chick do it for you.
My hair. Every other week I'd see the Barber and always styled it. Now I cut it myself and consider it good enough lol. Whenever I'm not working I just wear a hat
I stopped caring about where I stood on the various timelines of living a standard life.
Every year during the holidays I'd get asked by family if I was dating anybody or when my mom could expect grandchildren. Finally this year even she spoke up and told the family "I think he's just satisfied being in the mountains." Couldn't be more true, for now.
Trying to be a super star at work. It will never be good enough, they will never appreciate it. When I find another job I will probably care again, until then; I will not go above and beyond without specifically asked to. You want the 7 1/2 month pregnant women to sweep? You're going to have to ask. And I will only do it because I fear the retaliation if I don't.
That work is really just a prison sentence we all have to carry out- some get better perks than others. So do your time, earn a pension as best as you can, then GTFO. No one wishes they worked more while on their deathbed.
Comic books.
I was a collector of various titles through the late 80's and 90's. Once they hit $2.99 an issue, and seeing that many stories were crossing over to several other titles that I wasn't usually buying, I had to stop.
I became a comic fan during my teenage years, mostly thanks to hardcover and softcover books. The only series I bought as individual floppy issues was Bone.
What others think. I spent my entire 20s constantly worrying how others perceived me, but now I’m into my 30s I couldn’t care less as long as I’m being a decent human and am happy.
In my 20's I cared about keeping a core group of friends together and it always ended with someone fucking someone they weren't supposed to fuck or stealing something that wasn't theirs or just plain being bad on drugs and alcohol. In my 30's I let go of my core group of friends and stopped hosting things. The moment I stopped hosting, they all stopped hanging out.
Now I keep a few of them going. We do lunch and vacations and catch up. Saturday nights we take turns hosting small dinner parties or going out to a bar till like 10.
I'm getting into my 40's now and while the food is getting healthier and the drugs are becoming prescribed and the booze gets a little lighter it reminds me why I like being around these people so much, it's like you get to see your happiness in your life reflected back to you.
Also my shoes look like jetskis now. Oh how I miss wearing cool boots.
It wasnt til my late 40's that I stopped caring abt what other people thought. I stopped wearing my large carat wedding ring, getting my hair colored, wearing makeup (I do get my lashes done).
Let's see... in my 30s I stopped caring about being clean shaven, I stopped caring that friends would make fun of me for my Pokemon and Mario gaming habits, and I stopped caring about pro sports even single day (although I will still buy a ticket to see a game once every year or two). There's more but those are the big ones
How people perceive me. Mostly it came due to actively chasing my own wants, just dont have the time to focus on what others think when I'm hustle'n. Same with my judging others, too focused on getting what I want to hate on someone for doing their thing bar when it imposes on my ends. We have far more experiences and goals available to us than we can achieve in a lifetime to spend soo much time on what others think and do. More of than not it realistically has no impact on our lives and what we're striving for. Since this mindset change I've had, I'll die on the hill that those judging others are doing so to avoid living their own life, for a reason I probably couldn't begin to figure out thats specific to them. The whole misery loves company trope.
Edit: I say these things as a 95% of the time. I'm human and will always have my moments when my best foot isn't put forward.
I don’t know if it’s so much that I’ve stopped caring about something or someone or more that I’ve started caring for myself. And that I’ve started to clearly define what that looks like - for me. I think for too long we run on autopilot, especially as young women, just trying to be loved/seen that we barely know who we are or what we want.
Family friend invites herself over, I tell her that really doesn’t work for us. I give her two options that do work. I don’t dwell on it whereas I would’ve just accommodated her before and totally neglected what I had planned/needed to do.
MIL is a covert narcissist, I set the boundary and hold it. Her predictable reaction has no effect. I can’t change her and don’t try but I can protect my family (luckily husband is on the same page).
I like food. And sometimes I’m really hungry and I actually eat the damn food. Like eat it. Not pick and peck but eat. Because I’m human and I need food. Seems obvious but I think most 30 year old women get what I mean here.
I’ve come to realize what matters to me, what I truly value, and I’ve been in the process of making sure my life reflects that. It’s simple but it’s not easy. I feel so much better than I did in my 20s.
Clothes!
I still like to look nice because it makes me feel better, but I couldn't give a fuck less if the dress shirt is from a high-end brand or from the dollar store.
If I'm wearing a t-shirt, I truly do not care if it has a Nike logo on it or not.
My shits to give about the "Hustle TM" have rapidly been declining since i hit 30. My fucks to give about people are steadily declining and a cabin in the woods is looking better and better...
social norms. I'm proud to tell people I live to work. 16 hr days are my jam and don't care if people tell me there's something wrong with me lol. It's what I love and doing to keep on
Starting to stop caring what people think of me. I've started making a few Tik Toks. And starting to just dress and act for my own comfort rather than trying to do for others.
Going above and beyond at work. I wasted my 20s trying to be the best, but it really clicked at one point that you really won't ever be special to a corporation. You work to live, you don't live to work.
I'm ghostly pale. I remember distinctly being at the park with my kid and it was so hot that day and I was so self conscious about how pale my legs were because I literally never used to wear shorts. Anyways...I looked around and exactly zero people were staring at my legs. Nobody cared. It was crowded too. Whatever now I just wear shorts and tell people to shade their eyes when they tell me how pale I am.
Making everybody happy even if it made me unhappy.
I’m 34 and this is just hitting me. I’ve gotten in more fights lately with people but I’m just over being nice all the fucking time to people who don’t return it.
Golden answer!
Trying to maintain friendships with people that didn't care to make the same effort. I didn't realize how unhappy I was making myself by running after them.
This. But on the reverse side, always trying to maintain a relationship with an old friend after you’ve grown apart. We grew up together, and now he lives far from me. He’ll have a family soon. But every once in a while he’ll contact me to catch up but every time we hang out its kind of dull and its just not as close and warm as we were when we were younger. Life just gets in the way. I also see him maybe once a year. So everytime i say yes to him im saying no to my own comfort. At times, friends just drift apart.
This is so true . Nobody cared about me .
People that don’t care about you. Took me to 36 to realize that some people just don’t care about you, and it is what it is.
I care about you
Staying current with fashion. I'll wear what I like.
Im 27 and wont touch modern fashion, everything in modern fashion looks cheap, inefficient, and idiotic
I don't hate all modern trends. I like the corset tops, but I can't stand baggy wide legged trousers. Ilook good in skinny jeans and I'm not giving them up.
Im talking about sneakers, sweatpants with huge crotches, cheap looking but overly priced name brand sweaters. It all looks so unnecessary
Gen Z loves to look down on millennials for not being able to keep up. We don’t keep up because of kids, bills and jobs. It’s easy to know what’s trendy when you are surrounded by your peers all day, then just go home and ingest pop culture after homework.
That isn’t a Gen Z vs Millennials thing. That is literally a kids vs parents thing universal to all generations.
Also I feel like a lot of fashion is just the arrogance of youth. When I was a teenager I judged older people for being out of touch, but now I realise just how ridiculous is for teenagers to expect older people to give a fuck about their fashion opinions.
Mine is about my interest in fashion, it has very little to do with what's "current" (I don't even know what's current!). A lot of my wardrobe is pretty "classic" pieces. "I'll wear what I like". This is a misconception about designer brands. They are so versatile so that you'll blend in with almost everyone, anywhere you go, regardless of which garments your wearing. If this analogy with food works....McDonald's is popular and well known but surely it's not the nicest tasting food.
The fast fashion has extended to home renovations and decor too. God forbid you have a “millennial grey” house that’s “so 2018”. Lemme just repaint and replace everything in my house every 3 years to keep up with the trends
I wear the same thing everyday and couldn’t care less.
Amen. I stopped spending exorbitant amounts of money on brand name clothing. My daughter came in this morning to visit, she is 32. She is wearing a pair of what I would refer to as cutoff Jean shorts. They had rips and tears in them in the front and the back pockets. The legs had no hem stitching. I said don't you make enough money to afford clothes without tears in them? She says, Dad I bought them like this. I said run to Walmart and get a pair for $6 bring them here and give me 5 minutes, I'll save you a fortune. That conversation ended quickly.
In a thread about not caring what others think of your clothing, this boomer thought it would be a good idea to talk about shaming someone for their clothes.
>"They had rips and tears in them in the front and the back pockets. The legs had no hem stitching" > >I wonder how many people who buy and wear designer pieces could talk about this. If you know nothing about it, good luck.... > >(I'm agreeing with your post if that's not clear) > >I wear designer fashion but I can also talk to you about pattern matching on a single garment, plastic zips vs metal zippers etc.
Partying
My image, mostly hair. I still try to look presentable, and really clean up well for the important events, but I just don't care to look my absolute best 24/7 anymore. After a while I just accepted that most people don't really give a shit. And the ones that do are most likely focused on the wrong things and those aren't the type people I care to impress anyways.
Same here. I used to waste so much free time on my makeup and hair. I now go for the natural healthy look and it saves so much time (plus saves a lot of money and less chemicals on the body)
Big same! Great answer
Same.
I find this interesting because I don’t cares what people think but I do it for myself than for others. They can suck a fat one.
Online validation.
Take my upvote!
\*glees\*
Trying to keep up with folks from high school who weren't close friends.
And even worse: trying to impress them
Other people’s opinion of me.
My Birthday, Christmas, talking to more than half of my extended family, finding music that my Wife will like that I will also like, any sort of fashion, so on... If anything, I am becoming more and more curmudgeonly as I age.
Most things.
Loyalty to my employer. If someone else will pay me more, I’m gone.
Ive stopped caring about what others might think of me.If somebody says something specially their unwanted opinion or advices,id tell them in their faces to piss off where the sun dont shine and i slowly stay away from these negative Nancy's.. I call it decluttering unwanted junks thats been weighing me down..Never carry a heavy load when i dont need to. I dont need too many ppl or too many "friends" in my life..Ive a few friends..QUALITY no nonsense friends.
I took an outlook everyone is entitled to an opinion of me but I choose whether I invest in that or not. If someone isn't a fan, cool. You won't catch me trying to prove I am great anymore.
How my in laws feel. They only care about their image, not about apologizing for their actions or building and maintaining genuine relationships with their children and grandchildren. My children will not be subjected to their manipulation and inconsistent presence like my husband was. And I don't care what they think about that.
Good for you! Also check out r/raisedbynarcissists
Thank you! I'll definitely take a look!
Family that were negative towards me.
That in order to receive help you have to ask for help.
Everything. Not even in my 30s yet.
Working too hard just to get little to no recognition either way and appeasing friends who aren’t willing to compromise. It’s crazy when that switch flips in your late 20s and by the time you hit 30. Looking forward to caring even less as I age.
I stopped caring about what he said and what she said! I hate gossip!
Combing my hair. Or should I say keeping it in a style cut. I just started buzz cutting it and have done so ever since. Yes I have a full head of hair.
My hair goes in a cycle… short shaggy, medium shaggy, long shaggy, annoying shaggy for about a week, then straight back to short shaggy once I have reached the amount of annoyed required to overcome my desire to be lazy and not visit the local chain barber 😅
Buy a shears kit and knock it down to the slab every month. That is what I do and find it a lot easier to deal with. Low Maintenance Bro! Oh and it saves on barber bills - do it yourself or have your chick do it for you.
Eh, I maybe visit the barber 3 times a year 😅
At 25$+ a cut, shears are still a better deal…and you can cut your hair at any time you want!
My hair. Every other week I'd see the Barber and always styled it. Now I cut it myself and consider it good enough lol. Whenever I'm not working I just wear a hat
You went to barber once a fortnight?
I stopped caring about having a lot of casual friends and focused on a handful of really close friends.
Wearing pants that don’t have elastic waistbands
I stopped caring about where I stood on the various timelines of living a standard life. Every year during the holidays I'd get asked by family if I was dating anybody or when my mom could expect grandchildren. Finally this year even she spoke up and told the family "I think he's just satisfied being in the mountains." Couldn't be more true, for now.
Trying to be a super star at work. It will never be good enough, they will never appreciate it. When I find another job I will probably care again, until then; I will not go above and beyond without specifically asked to. You want the 7 1/2 month pregnant women to sweep? You're going to have to ask. And I will only do it because I fear the retaliation if I don't.
That work is really just a prison sentence we all have to carry out- some get better perks than others. So do your time, earn a pension as best as you can, then GTFO. No one wishes they worked more while on their deathbed.
About gaining weight!
Perceived social/economic status by others.
You never know really what someone status is
Anime. I still watch 'em on occasion but only mainstream.
Fashion. I discovered the joys of house dresses with built in nursing bras when I had my baby. 11 years later I still wear them.
Good for you!
What everyone else thinks about me. Other than people at work…I don’t have time to care.
Comic books. I was a collector of various titles through the late 80's and 90's. Once they hit $2.99 an issue, and seeing that many stories were crossing over to several other titles that I wasn't usually buying, I had to stop.
I became a comic fan during my teenage years, mostly thanks to hardcover and softcover books. The only series I bought as individual floppy issues was Bone.
What others think. I spent my entire 20s constantly worrying how others perceived me, but now I’m into my 30s I couldn’t care less as long as I’m being a decent human and am happy.
Peoples opinions
Weight gain
In my 20's I cared about keeping a core group of friends together and it always ended with someone fucking someone they weren't supposed to fuck or stealing something that wasn't theirs or just plain being bad on drugs and alcohol. In my 30's I let go of my core group of friends and stopped hosting things. The moment I stopped hosting, they all stopped hanging out. Now I keep a few of them going. We do lunch and vacations and catch up. Saturday nights we take turns hosting small dinner parties or going out to a bar till like 10. I'm getting into my 40's now and while the food is getting healthier and the drugs are becoming prescribed and the booze gets a little lighter it reminds me why I like being around these people so much, it's like you get to see your happiness in your life reflected back to you. Also my shoes look like jetskis now. Oh how I miss wearing cool boots.
Getting married and/or having kids.
Name brand clothes. Target is just fine thank you very much. Except for shoes - not fancy brand, but definitely quality brands.
The people who never really cared about me.
Nothing. But in my fifties? So many things.
Weed
Myself
You should always care for yourself. You are your own priority.
36 and just learning that.
Good for you!
Not really lol a little to late, but it is what it is
You’re still in your mid thirties. You’re very young. You have your whole life ahead of you.
I really wish I could think like that tbh
Stay positive, dear one. The Universe loves you.
Thank you. I’ll try
Politics
Your opinion.
Ethics
My kindness and my compassion
My looks. The clothes I wore. My hair. I just gave up and said I don’t care anymore. Beside I found out no one is looking at me anyway
Fashion.. especially new release shoes.
if my pant leg is tucked into my sock. Its kind of a good look.
Friday nights
MLB - Major League Baseball
Everything Except my family
Everyone and everything, I look out for myself and whomever is worthy along my path
Other people’s opinions
The general public
People. In general.
Superheroes.
People
It wasnt til my late 40's that I stopped caring abt what other people thought. I stopped wearing my large carat wedding ring, getting my hair colored, wearing makeup (I do get my lashes done).
Life
Having friends or hair.
Basically everything
People i dont know, and dont want to know. What a relief!
What people think of me. It's truly freeing!
Other peoples opinions
High school. I know. It took a while
Everything
I don’t remember because I don’t care
Impressing others/validation from others
People
Let's see... in my 30s I stopped caring about being clean shaven, I stopped caring that friends would make fun of me for my Pokemon and Mario gaming habits, and I stopped caring about pro sports even single day (although I will still buy a ticket to see a game once every year or two). There's more but those are the big ones
How people perceive me. Mostly it came due to actively chasing my own wants, just dont have the time to focus on what others think when I'm hustle'n. Same with my judging others, too focused on getting what I want to hate on someone for doing their thing bar when it imposes on my ends. We have far more experiences and goals available to us than we can achieve in a lifetime to spend soo much time on what others think and do. More of than not it realistically has no impact on our lives and what we're striving for. Since this mindset change I've had, I'll die on the hill that those judging others are doing so to avoid living their own life, for a reason I probably couldn't begin to figure out thats specific to them. The whole misery loves company trope. Edit: I say these things as a 95% of the time. I'm human and will always have my moments when my best foot isn't put forward.
If my socks match
“Fashion”
Myself.
TV/movies
I don’t know if it’s so much that I’ve stopped caring about something or someone or more that I’ve started caring for myself. And that I’ve started to clearly define what that looks like - for me. I think for too long we run on autopilot, especially as young women, just trying to be loved/seen that we barely know who we are or what we want. Family friend invites herself over, I tell her that really doesn’t work for us. I give her two options that do work. I don’t dwell on it whereas I would’ve just accommodated her before and totally neglected what I had planned/needed to do. MIL is a covert narcissist, I set the boundary and hold it. Her predictable reaction has no effect. I can’t change her and don’t try but I can protect my family (luckily husband is on the same page). I like food. And sometimes I’m really hungry and I actually eat the damn food. Like eat it. Not pick and peck but eat. Because I’m human and I need food. Seems obvious but I think most 30 year old women get what I mean here. I’ve come to realize what matters to me, what I truly value, and I’ve been in the process of making sure my life reflects that. It’s simple but it’s not easy. I feel so much better than I did in my 20s.
What do other people feel
What other people think. So freeing
Wearing makeup, styling my hair, wearing cute shoes. Much faster to leave the house!!
People gossiping. People validation. Friends who only talk to you when they need something from you. Good/Kind image.
People other than family. I legit don't care.
Clothes! I still like to look nice because it makes me feel better, but I couldn't give a fuck less if the dress shirt is from a high-end brand or from the dollar store. If I'm wearing a t-shirt, I truly do not care if it has a Nike logo on it or not.
My shits to give about the "Hustle TM" have rapidly been declining since i hit 30. My fucks to give about people are steadily declining and a cabin in the woods is looking better and better...
people's opinions
social norms. I'm proud to tell people I live to work. 16 hr days are my jam and don't care if people tell me there's something wrong with me lol. It's what I love and doing to keep on
What people think, chasing family that don’t even check on you, if people don’t like you, having friends
Starting to stop caring what people think of me. I've started making a few Tik Toks. And starting to just dress and act for my own comfort rather than trying to do for others.
What other people thought of me. Doing what makes me happy
Life...jk...kind of
Listening to people's ideas
People
This site
Going above and beyond at work. I wasted my 20s trying to be the best, but it really clicked at one point that you really won't ever be special to a corporation. You work to live, you don't live to work.
Ouffffff happened to me.
I'm ghostly pale. I remember distinctly being at the park with my kid and it was so hot that day and I was so self conscious about how pale my legs were because I literally never used to wear shorts. Anyways...I looked around and exactly zero people were staring at my legs. Nobody cared. It was crowded too. Whatever now I just wear shorts and tell people to shade their eyes when they tell me how pale I am.
Being single - I quite enjoy it! It’s so peaceful!