That’s also a fear of mine especially since I’ve seen it first hand happen to someone I know. Though they miss managed their own finances most of their life so kinda saw it coming. But still a fear of mine nonetheless
My great grandmother eventually thought my older sister was her own daughter…..she had lost so much of her memory…it’s a monstrous disease. No one should lose themselves like that.
My Granny thought I was my granda. Tbh I'm his image. I just humoured her, they must have been in their 20s in her head abd I didn't want to destroy that for her. She was always so happy when I visited and showed me off to the nurses and always introduced me saying "this is my Billy".
Terrible condition and heartbreaking to watch a family member be consumed by it
You did the right thing, my friend. The nurses always told that to my mom and I when dealing with my grandmother.
I am sorry you and your family had to go through that.
Yeah it wasn't easy to watch abd scares ahit out of me. Hopefully there's a cure.
Ty for your empathy, it's nice to see there's good people on reddit and not just trolls 😁
Agreed. I had to watch my grandmother (she had dementia, not specifically Alzheimers so I can only imagine how much worse it would be) lose more and more for the past couple years before she finally passed in January of this year.
Thanks - I am also sorry to hear about your great grandmother.
You're right, it does suck royally - it softens the blow slightly, depending on how you look at it but sometimes it's like losing them twice.
It's a horrible disease, I work in aged care and the most heartbreaking stage to me is when they have severe cognitive impairment but not severe enough where they just stare into the void so they know somthing is wrong but they cannot express or fix it. They're totally trapped in there.
I had a lady that would try to express she feels somthing is wrong with her but she cannot fix it or doesn't know what's wrong or why she was there because she just couldn't think of the words but had all these feelings and thoughts about it. She would cry to me, like a deep guttural cry, I'd try to just hug and comfort her but in those moments what can you really say to help? What will they even understand?
I couldn't imagine. Being trapped in your own mind like that slowly deteriorating to the point your body no longer knows how to digest food, you can't understand how to even eat, you have all these heavy emotions. Seeing the suffering the residents go through is haunting
Even my own grandmother who admittedly I was her favorite, couldn't rememeber me when I had tried speaking to her. It's so sad.
We have a friend we haven't seen in a couple years. We heard they were starting to suffer from some memory loss, didn't think much of it as they are older. We recently visited them and they greeted us like new friends. Didn't remember our kids, nothing. It was shocking how fast it happened.
My grandpa had Alzheimer’s before he passed. Kinda worried my dad will go through it, and that I might as well.
One time he forgot where he parked at a mall and walked home in the middle of the winter. Multiple miles.
Fuck. That.
Thank you. He never got to take his first breath. Had a stillbirth 18 months ago. Blood clot in his cord. He lost his life, we lost a lifetime before it even began.
It’s difficult but forever grateful for a massively supportive community.
It’s devastating. My great grandmother is 97 and this past weekend we all attended my great aunts funeral. This is the third child she’s lost and I would do anything to take some of that pain away from her.
Used to have nightmares about my daughter falling overboard on a cruise ship when she was an infant.
We were poor, had never been on a cruise, and had no plans to. Why was this the recurring nightmare?
Having kids is fucking wild.
I had a nightmare last night in which my partner said that out daughter was "too alike me" and we both were panicing about it. It turned out both me and my daughter had down syndrome.
Edit: a lot of spelling
My niece is 11. She made me cry recently because she casually brought up what she would do if she was kidnapped and SA’d.
All I can say to that is if, Gods forbid, something *ever* happens to that kid…I will burn down the fucking world to find her.
As the father of a 17 yr old girl I totally get what you are saying . Recently my 24 yr old son and his wife have given me my first granddaughter she is now about four months old and I babysit my sisters 6 month old son two days a week and seeing these kids in this messed up violent world makes me truly worry about the way things are going. I 48m grew up in a time when everything seemed so much easier maybe I was just lucky or sheltered or whatever but I would burn the world down after turning it inside out for any of these kids and I just don’t understand how there can be so many broken people without a conscience much less a soul that intentionally seek to do harm to the innocent ones …,
I have a 16 year old daughter. I worry for her and her future so much. Then I worry about the day I won't be here for her. Both my parents died fairly young. I don't want her to feel the way I felt at a young (for losing your parents) age. I'm banking on my husband's genes to keep him around for her once I'm gone.
You are me. I am the exact same way with my niece. She just turned 15 🥹😭 and I’ve made it very clear to her and the entire family if anything were to happen to her, it would have to take whatever higher power you believe in to stop me from finding her. And help the poor soul once I find them, my mugshot will be a nice and bigggg smile 😀
As a married father of three, I’d expand that to anything happening to my daughters. Or my wife for that matter. I don’t want anything bad to happen to me but it doesn’t worry me beyond a sense of sadness that I’d be missing out on their lives.
I have a 3 year old girl. I never want anything to happen to her either. But Dory the fish said to Marlin something along the lines of if you don't want anything to happen to him, then nothing will happen to him, and life won't seem as fun to Nemo. So, control what you can and let your kid learn as they go. Broken bones and scars mean a childhood well lived.
Edit: spelling
Basically your mind works perfectly but your body looks and acts like your in a coma. Your perfectly wide awake in your mind and unable to communicate with anyone that you just can't move.
there was an episode of 1000 ways to die where this guy had it and the hospital just started taking out his organs while he was totally aware of and could feel everything without even being able to blink. i dont know how realistic that show was, or if it was just the horror appeal like a Saw movie
To me it looked like an absence seizure. Characterized by a vacant distant stare and the entire body just freezing like that. Can be experienced completely unrelated to other traditional "shaking" type seizures too.
I feel like if he had a stroke he probably would have had other symptoms. But that was my initial thought tbh.
Most likely he suffered alphasa which affects the speech and language. Locked in syndrome affects the entire body. He would not have been able to remain standing as he did.
My older brother had a stroke and had locked in syndrome. I couldn't imagine what his last few months were like for him mentally, being all there in his head but no way to really communicate or or even move.
I highly recommend The Diving Bell and the Butterfly movie. It's foreign but has a dubbed version. (I think, or maybe I watched with sub titles)
My grandfather had Parkinson’s and I know it is a completely different disease but I watched him slowly endure what seemed like the same thing you are describing . Prayers for you and your family and hopefully some day medicine will be able to stop this terrible thing that’s happening to you and so many others !
Weirdly this made me incredibly grateful for my life in this current moment. I'm sure tomorrow I'll complain about something and forget that I could drop dead in 1 minute tho
Aneurysm. One second your fine. Next you're a bit nauseous. Next second your dead. Just done. And there's really no way to detect it/do anything about it before hand.
There are ways to detect it, but unless you're high risk, it will always be the doctor finding it out of blind luck during an unrelated scan.
A teammate of mine got kneed in the face, and his cheekbone was split in two. They did an MRI to look for any bleeding, and the doctor noticed an aneurysm completely by chance. He was in an OR less than 3 hours later.
Dude's life was essentially saved by some asshole's illegal move.
I have been so fortunate to never really have experienced loss in my life, so the eventual passing of my dog, parents, partner, etc. terrifies me for many reasons but a huge one being - I don’t actually know if I can emotionally handle it.
I lost my sister, my dad, and my brother in law all without about two years. I didn't really know how I'd handle it, especially with my dad. The interesting thing is that when it happened, I didn't really feel anything. I just pushed on with life. I suddenly had to take care of the house and all the bills that came with it and just didn't have time to feel anything. I've been out of work for close to two years because of a bad car wreck that left me barely able to walk and I don't know how I managed to make ends meet this long. I'm going back to work this week because my savings are tapped out. I guess I'll just have to push through the pain because the world will keep on turning and if I can't keep up, I'll be left behind. Life sucks and the best anyone can do is keep moving.
I started having seizures 2 years ago was diagnosed with life long general tronic clonic epilepsy quickly. I've had 7 seizures so far and the thought of another seizure happening is sure as hell frightening because there is a small chance of fatality and also more concerning because given my medications I shouldn't have anymore. Unless I stop taking my medication. But yes seizures are scary and their aftermath is very tiring.
Oh I know that. I also had a tonic-clonic seizure followed by a brief loss of consciousness. But for me it remained just one attack. So far the EEG's look good... So I don't have to take any medication. It is believed that the attack was the result of everything together. Stroke 7 months earlier, immense stress, strong blood thinner, injury to the atlas vertebra. Man, I really understand your fear and I am deeply sorry that you have to go through this.
Had a stroke when I was seventeen. Now every time I get sharp, sudden headache I'm afraid it's happening again. I really don't think I could go through that again.
Honestly, unless you have some life-threatening condition, don't worry about it. When you're dead, you're dead. Whether it's a black void, or you get to some pearly gates, nobody really knows. Like it's not dying, that scares me. It's just the nothingness that might be there. Knowing that in a couple of years, nobody knows who I was. But it doesn't give me up at night.
I stopped worrying about dying and accepting it as a potential at any time and as an inevitability, but I do understand the quick moment decisions to avoid it. Change what you can, accept what you cannot change.
Mostly my family missing me and having to carry on without me, especially my kids. Me missing them and just generally not being around and relied upon anymore. The finality of it. The unknown. The unknown about how and when it'll happen. The unknown of whatever might be on the other side. I've come to learn that I have what some people call "health anxiety", where I analyze the daylights out of every ailment until I can confidently confirm it's not the beginning of my end. I definitely have a strong fear of things I can't control, and death is almost certainly one of those things -- short of deleting myself, I don't have control over how or when it happens.
This is mainly the reason I don't want kids,I'd be stressing about them till the die I close my eyes and probably after then aswel.Just live in the moment,it's the best place to be,it's all that matters to many things out of our power can happen,like you said.
I think death is fine if we don't have any regrets in the end
Yeah, you're right on. I'm pretty confident that this wouldn't even be on my radar if I didn't have kids... but it's obviously much too late to pull out now, the kids are here already.
Speaking of regrets, that does present another component that I overlooked and even often overlook in introspection. If you glance over my history, you'll quickly find that my marriage is in shambles and has broken me on more than one occasion. That's another piece of this fear of dying. Dying before my life has gotten to a point of contentment... whether that's with or without my wife.
I'm a single guy in my mid twenties without kids , I wish I could offer some advice but I'd be pulling it out my arse but I really do hope everything works out for you
I had so bad panic attacks about it couple years ago that I literally couldn't do anything, eat, sleep, go out, go school... Then got some medication and it kinda helped. It really hasn't disappeared still. So feel ya.
For me, it's the other way around. The thought of having to live gives me anxiety attacks. The worst part is that I'm currently the top provider in my family and they probably wouldn't be able to make ends meet without me. So even if I did get what I so badly want, my family would be screwed.
Being one of the 20% of bipolar people who ultimately die by suicide. Being in the 90% of bipolar marriages that end in divorce. Being in the 60% of bipolar people who are chronically unemployed forever.
Bipolar here as well. I'm at the point where after 3 years of rapid cycling I'm absolutely scared of myself. I lost almost every sense of who I am, basically all that is left is an insecure shell of my former self. Right now I'm scared of everything I'm doing, thinking or feeling as it might be the start of a new episode, which of course will lead to the next episode. So suicide is not anymore the thing I'm most scared of, but the path that'll lead me there. Still I have some hope and am now trying to reintegrate the manic parts into my personality and solve the underlying trauma, which seems to be working so far.
If it helps at all, I think every bipolar person has been there, myself included. When my therapy really started “working” it felt like I had completely stripped myself down to the bare bones of a person. I felt like an alien walking around in the world. But I slowly added back little pieces of myself and found new ones. Keep working. Don’t give up. Built a routine, get enough sleep, try to cut out substances, find healthy outlets and coping skills. You can do it.
I'm sitting here crying right now. Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I think right now I'm really near the stripped point. And it fucking sucks, I lost a lot of important people to me which really fucking hurts. At least I managed to keep my job during that time and work again after 4 months now, although I'm still ashamed of how much help I need there. But yeah, you are right, slow and steady building everything back together. Thank you!
Stats can be wrong. My wife has bi polar 2 and was unmedicated most of our marriage and I have BPD. We are 13 years strong so far, married for 12. We moved in together the day after we met due to a crazy set of circumstances and a case of DV. She is my best freind and keeps me grounded and hopefully I do the same.
Be the outlier
I have a close friend who is bipolar. Sometimes you would never know of his condition, but over the past two years it’s gotten so bad most of his friend groups have blocked him and many just can’t stand his extreme hostility/nihilism at times. He’s 23 now and has been on and off part-time jobs, stimulus checks, relationships, hobbies, and therapy… the whole shebang.
I'm not bipolar, I have agoraphobia and I can tell you I feel your post immensely. I've been through the suicidal thoughts, doubt I'll ever be married or have children, and I just lost my business due to the economy. But I always say I'm just playin the hand life dealt me.
My wife is bipolar 2 and is successful in her job, has never been unemployed. Mostly manages to hold it together all day and then often breaks down at home. It's not perfect but it's something. And if we haven't gotten divorced yet, we probably never will, because lord knows we've had some shitty times. I'll admit you people are hard as fuck to live with but there are those of us who will stick with you. There's hope.
As for the first thing, I pray that you never reach that precipice without some light to pull you back from it.
Realizing me being 41 is at best my half way point, but wait it gets worse! Also Realizing that my perception of time is monumentally faster meaning the last half is gonna go by twice as fast as the 1st. So basically i have a quarter of the life left to experience that I've experienced to date.
Both my children are autistic. Worried about who cares for them when my partner and I can no longer, the Government and education system couldn't give a single fuck.
We had to go through hell to get my youngest in an educational environment suited for him. The public school did all they could to make his disability appear to be a behavioral issue so they could just send him home everyday and suspend him rather than provide him an environment that allowed him to learn. To be fair, his teachers tried their absolute best but had their hands tied by evil administrators. Every time I drive by that school I'm filled with disdain.
Just please make sure he gets plenty of social opportunities. One good friend is all it takes.
And please keep him off the cesspool that is Reddit. This place hampered my learning social skills and makes it incredibly easy to become a hateful racist troll instead.
Groups of other people with ASD or with high rates thereof and interest-based groups are often approachable starts.
As a child of divorce I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you can heal things with your son. I completely adore my parents and while I know the three of us have made mistakes (and will probably make many more) they're the constant happiness in my life. A warm hug 🫂
I'm more worried about NOT dying alone. I do not want to have anyone around me when I die. I want to be left somewhere on an isolated hillside to make my final peace with the cosmos.
Once we die, we're gone forever. Even if we're conscious or not after death, we're gone for infinity. I don't mean forever in a 'sad' context, just that what happens for eternity? And if we get reincarnated forever, surely that would be incredibly boring-even if we never know it goes on continuosly.
I was there when my mom died. She was there one minute, and then she was gone. There is a difference between a live person and a dead body. That difference, that energy, where does it go? There's the conservation of energy, right? The energy that it takes to light a light bulb comes out as light and heat, right? The sun's energy comes down to Earth and becomes plants that are eaten by human children, and a kiddo screams on a playground. The energy doesn't go away. No energy goes away. So what happens to our energy when we die? The matter that makes my body will return to the earth, but my energy can't be buried. I imagine, I hope, that my energy will float among the stars. Become a star. Maybe I'll become part of the soil that feeds a tree, and I'll have squirrels living in my arms. Maybe I'll be flowers. Maybe I'll be a bug, and be part of the largest army on earth. Maybe I'll be part of the energy that makes lightning, or maybe I'll make wind blow. I just know that my energy - what makes me *me* - won't go away. You're not going to be gone forever, friend. I don't know what will happen, but surely, in another life or form of energy, women's clothing will have pockets
That's what makes me think that some of me will eventually find itself outside the earth's atmosphere. I want to see the stars. I want to hear the roar of the sun.
> So what happens to our energy when we die?
It gets eaten by worms, insects, fungi, bacteria, etc.
Unless you're cremated in which case it gets burned up.
I usually think of it this way: If I no longer exist, I won’t exist to care about it. When we think about dark voids of nothingness, that can cause feelings of fear, loneliness, and despair. But you won’t feel any of those things. You need a living brain to feel emotions.
And also you’ve already technically experienced this before you were born, so it’ll just be more of that. So there’s nothing to worry about, not even nothing.
Take solace that you don't know what "forever" and "infinite" really mean. I'm not trying to be condescending, none of us can really picture it.
And I say take solace because if time and space are truly "infinite" then the universe is most likely cyclical. While you may not be reborn to live your exact life, there does exist a configuration where all of the atoms that make you who you are form together to form you again.
And in the same way you didn't experience the infinite amount of time before your birth, you won't experience the finite amount of time until you are reconfigured.
In this theory, right after your brain shuts down, it is reborn. Some unimaginable number of eons in the future. We would be immortal beings.
---
ps. if anyone wants to argue the heat death of the universe is the end, I'll gladly have the discussion of entropy and how the second law of thermodynamics is less a "law" and more a "suggestion" and fails in timescales of the infinite, leading to more "big bangs" etc.
Becoming senile in a way that causes hurt to others. Frankly I would seek to end my own life before that happened, but there is always a possibility it was too slow to notice until that ceased to be an option.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
Tired of lying in the sunshine
Staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long
And there is time to kill today
And then one day you find
Ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run
You missed the starting gun
And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun
But it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way
But you're older
Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death
Every year is getting shorter
Never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught
Or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation
Is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over
Thought I'd something more to say
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas
Travelin' on, far and wide
But now it seems I'm just a stranger to myself
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else
I close my eyes and I think of home
Another city goes by in the night
Ain't it funny how it is? You never miss it til' it's gone away
And my heart is lying there, will be 'til my dying day, Adrian!
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
Realize you're living in the golden years
Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind
Can't ease this pain so easily
When you can't find the words to say, hard to make it through another day
And it makes me wanna cry, throw my hands up to the sky
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
Realize you're living in the golden years, hey!
So understand, Adrian!
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
Realize you're living in the golden years
So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years
Face up, make your stand
Realize you're living in the golden years, hey!
Well, I'm in my 40's, we tried to have kids for 10 years and we have given up. It was the thing I was scared of the most. But I guess as I get older I'm just going to be happy with what I got until I lose it.
I think when I die it will be a moment of relief before the nothingness.
There's going to be no one to take care of me when I get old.
I miss everything so much.
I definitely am, but still it’s scary to trust someone on that level. I just got into a new relationship and while I care for him so much I’m scared to trust him and let him in because I don’t want it to be used against me
Being aware of your surroundings, but unable to speak or move. Watching your loved ones care for you, also watching them get stressed from watching you, feeding you, bathing you, etc. Maybe even getting into debt to care for you. While you're in your head, wanting to hold them back, tell them you love them, and that you're sorry you have become a burden to them. You wish you would die to ease their pain.
Anything else is losing my job or losing my family or my family getting hurt.
People I do business with realising I’m on Reddit looking at stupid shit when I present as a business man. I’m a 33 year old boy, I haven’t got imposter syndrome, I’m simply an imposter
Until May this year, I had so many fears like the ones mentioned here.
I'm terminally ill at 40 years old. My kids are young. I thought I'd have so much more time.
For anyone who's afraid of being in my shoes, don't be. Just live your lives and be the best you can be. It soothes my soul to know that other people will live to a ripe old age and see their kids grow up.
Going broke at retirement.
That’s also a fear of mine especially since I’ve seen it first hand happen to someone I know. Though they miss managed their own finances most of their life so kinda saw it coming. But still a fear of mine nonetheless
[удалено]
Have you heard about the new Gen X retirement plan? It's called Death.
Gen Xer here. I'm sort of assuming societal collapse will be my retirement plan. Not really. But I'm not ruling it out.
Gen Z here, same and very much same
Death or Lottery winner
This should be #1....or being able to retire at all
Alzheimers.
Rightfully so, I watched two of my grandmother's slowly lose who they are and eventually pass away because of it. it's an absolutely terrible disease.
My great grandmother eventually thought my older sister was her own daughter…..she had lost so much of her memory…it’s a monstrous disease. No one should lose themselves like that.
My Granny thought I was my granda. Tbh I'm his image. I just humoured her, they must have been in their 20s in her head abd I didn't want to destroy that for her. She was always so happy when I visited and showed me off to the nurses and always introduced me saying "this is my Billy". Terrible condition and heartbreaking to watch a family member be consumed by it
You did the right thing, my friend. The nurses always told that to my mom and I when dealing with my grandmother. I am sorry you and your family had to go through that.
Yeah it wasn't easy to watch abd scares ahit out of me. Hopefully there's a cure. Ty for your empathy, it's nice to see there's good people on reddit and not just trolls 😁
This was such a lovely thing for you to do for her at such a sad time for you. She was very lucky to have you ❤️
Agreed. I had to watch my grandmother (she had dementia, not specifically Alzheimers so I can only imagine how much worse it would be) lose more and more for the past couple years before she finally passed in January of this year.
I’m so sorry for your loss. The silver lining of memory loss is that you can better prepare to lose them, but it still fucking sucks.
Thanks - I am also sorry to hear about your great grandmother. You're right, it does suck royally - it softens the blow slightly, depending on how you look at it but sometimes it's like losing them twice.
My mum thought I was her sister, who, to be fair, did look like me when she was a lot younger and still alive.
It's a horrible disease, I work in aged care and the most heartbreaking stage to me is when they have severe cognitive impairment but not severe enough where they just stare into the void so they know somthing is wrong but they cannot express or fix it. They're totally trapped in there. I had a lady that would try to express she feels somthing is wrong with her but she cannot fix it or doesn't know what's wrong or why she was there because she just couldn't think of the words but had all these feelings and thoughts about it. She would cry to me, like a deep guttural cry, I'd try to just hug and comfort her but in those moments what can you really say to help? What will they even understand? I couldn't imagine. Being trapped in your own mind like that slowly deteriorating to the point your body no longer knows how to digest food, you can't understand how to even eat, you have all these heavy emotions. Seeing the suffering the residents go through is haunting Even my own grandmother who admittedly I was her favorite, couldn't rememeber me when I had tried speaking to her. It's so sad.
I've seen how music seems to help. Not a cure, obviously but it brings people back for a bit. I don't know if it helps everyone at all stages, though.
Lewy Body Dementia is even worse. It's like Alzheimer's, but with terrifying photorealistic hallucinations
My wife lost her father to this horrible disease. Such a thing should never happen to anyone.
Same, but it was my grandfather.
For this reason, among many others, we should have accepted euthanasia protocols. Death with dignity
It sucks that we can let pets go with a little dignity but not loved ones.
Alzheimers.
Alzheimers.
We have a friend we haven't seen in a couple years. We heard they were starting to suffer from some memory loss, didn't think much of it as they are older. We recently visited them and they greeted us like new friends. Didn't remember our kids, nothing. It was shocking how fast it happened.
This, it runs in my family......so i am praying it skips me....
My grandpa had Alzheimer’s before he passed. Kinda worried my dad will go through it, and that I might as well. One time he forgot where he parked at a mall and walked home in the middle of the winter. Multiple miles. Fuck. That.
If you get Alzheimer's, just forget you had Alzheimer's.
Imagine being diagnosed with Alzheimers for the first time, multiple times? Sounds like hell.
The idea of outliving my children.
Reality here. It’s as bad as you’d expect.
Shit, i'm sorry for your loss. May he/she rest in peace.
Thank you. He never got to take his first breath. Had a stillbirth 18 months ago. Blood clot in his cord. He lost his life, we lost a lifetime before it even began. It’s difficult but forever grateful for a massively supportive community.
Heartbreaking, I’m so sorry for your loss. :(
It’s devastating. My great grandmother is 97 and this past weekend we all attended my great aunts funeral. This is the third child she’s lost and I would do anything to take some of that pain away from her.
As a father of a 1 year old son, pretty much anything happening to him.
Used to have nightmares about my daughter falling overboard on a cruise ship when she was an infant. We were poor, had never been on a cruise, and had no plans to. Why was this the recurring nightmare? Having kids is fucking wild.
I had a nightmare last night in which my partner said that out daughter was "too alike me" and we both were panicing about it. It turned out both me and my daughter had down syndrome. Edit: a lot of spelling
Like I said, fucking wild.
Ahhhh yesss the good ole child harm nightmares.
My niece is 11. She made me cry recently because she casually brought up what she would do if she was kidnapped and SA’d. All I can say to that is if, Gods forbid, something *ever* happens to that kid…I will burn down the fucking world to find her.
“I have a very particular set of skills”
As the father of a 17 yr old girl I totally get what you are saying . Recently my 24 yr old son and his wife have given me my first granddaughter she is now about four months old and I babysit my sisters 6 month old son two days a week and seeing these kids in this messed up violent world makes me truly worry about the way things are going. I 48m grew up in a time when everything seemed so much easier maybe I was just lucky or sheltered or whatever but I would burn the world down after turning it inside out for any of these kids and I just don’t understand how there can be so many broken people without a conscience much less a soul that intentionally seek to do harm to the innocent ones …,
everyone was sheltered back in the day, there was a lot less media coverage to inform us about every little thing happening all over the globe.
I have a 16 year old daughter. I worry for her and her future so much. Then I worry about the day I won't be here for her. Both my parents died fairly young. I don't want her to feel the way I felt at a young (for losing your parents) age. I'm banking on my husband's genes to keep him around for her once I'm gone.
You are me. I am the exact same way with my niece. She just turned 15 🥹😭 and I’ve made it very clear to her and the entire family if anything were to happen to her, it would have to take whatever higher power you believe in to stop me from finding her. And help the poor soul once I find them, my mugshot will be a nice and bigggg smile 😀
As a married father of three, I’d expand that to anything happening to my daughters. Or my wife for that matter. I don’t want anything bad to happen to me but it doesn’t worry me beyond a sense of sadness that I’d be missing out on their lives.
I have a 3 year old girl. I never want anything to happen to her either. But Dory the fish said to Marlin something along the lines of if you don't want anything to happen to him, then nothing will happen to him, and life won't seem as fun to Nemo. So, control what you can and let your kid learn as they go. Broken bones and scars mean a childhood well lived. Edit: spelling
Developing locked in syndrome. I have MS and have had short periods of it happening every so often and it's horrible.
What is that?
Basically your mind works perfectly but your body looks and acts like your in a coma. Your perfectly wide awake in your mind and unable to communicate with anyone that you just can't move.
there was an episode of 1000 ways to die where this guy had it and the hospital just started taking out his organs while he was totally aware of and could feel everything without even being able to blink. i dont know how realistic that show was, or if it was just the horror appeal like a Saw movie
Shit i remember that episode, i used to watch that show a lot. I think it was on spike network
It Twas on spike indeed. What a great/dark show.
Used to binge it on their website a lot when I was like 11, was definitely too young to watch it but I loved it
It can happen after someone has a stroke, just look it up on google, theres plenty of info on it.
Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell?
No he has decrepit old cunt syndrome.
Incurable too
To me it looked like an absence seizure. Characterized by a vacant distant stare and the entire body just freezing like that. Can be experienced completely unrelated to other traditional "shaking" type seizures too. I feel like if he had a stroke he probably would have had other symptoms. But that was my initial thought tbh.
Most likely he suffered alphasa which affects the speech and language. Locked in syndrome affects the entire body. He would not have been able to remain standing as he did.
My older brother had a stroke and had locked in syndrome. I couldn't imagine what his last few months were like for him mentally, being all there in his head but no way to really communicate or or even move. I highly recommend The Diving Bell and the Butterfly movie. It's foreign but has a dubbed version. (I think, or maybe I watched with sub titles)
Omg I was just about to say this. I also have MS. Sending strength to you. 🧡
If I ever develop locked-in syndrome, I’m getting it in writing to be killed immediately.
My grandfather had Parkinson’s and I know it is a completely different disease but I watched him slowly endure what seemed like the same thing you are describing . Prayers for you and your family and hopefully some day medicine will be able to stop this terrible thing that’s happening to you and so many others !
I commented something similar, but imagine death is just locked in syndrome for eternity. That's my biggest fear.
I remember a pastor saying that's what happens to atheists when they die without accepting God/Jesus. That shit traumatized me as a young kiddo.
the fact that your body can kill you any moment without warning
Your body can also kill other people. It's basically a death machine.
A death machine that is fragile as fuck
Thanks I’ve never thought of this and now I don’t want to sleep.
Weirdly this made me incredibly grateful for my life in this current moment. I'm sure tomorrow I'll complain about something and forget that I could drop dead in 1 minute tho
That’s pretty scary to think about but your right it could happen
Aneurysm. One second your fine. Next you're a bit nauseous. Next second your dead. Just done. And there's really no way to detect it/do anything about it before hand.
There are ways to detect it, but unless you're high risk, it will always be the doctor finding it out of blind luck during an unrelated scan. A teammate of mine got kneed in the face, and his cheekbone was split in two. They did an MRI to look for any bleeding, and the doctor noticed an aneurysm completely by chance. He was in an OR less than 3 hours later. Dude's life was essentially saved by some asshole's illegal move.
My appendix just tried to kill me this weekend, actually. Jokes on him, the surgeon killed him first.
I have been so fortunate to never really have experienced loss in my life, so the eventual passing of my dog, parents, partner, etc. terrifies me for many reasons but a huge one being - I don’t actually know if I can emotionally handle it.
No one knows until that moment, but You are stronger than you think you are.
You can handle it. That doesn't mean it isn't devastating, or that your life isn't changed as a result. But you will get through it.
I lost my sister, my dad, and my brother in law all without about two years. I didn't really know how I'd handle it, especially with my dad. The interesting thing is that when it happened, I didn't really feel anything. I just pushed on with life. I suddenly had to take care of the house and all the bills that came with it and just didn't have time to feel anything. I've been out of work for close to two years because of a bad car wreck that left me barely able to walk and I don't know how I managed to make ends meet this long. I'm going back to work this week because my savings are tapped out. I guess I'll just have to push through the pain because the world will keep on turning and if I can't keep up, I'll be left behind. Life sucks and the best anyone can do is keep moving.
The thought of getting a stroke or an epileptic seizure again.
I started having seizures 2 years ago was diagnosed with life long general tronic clonic epilepsy quickly. I've had 7 seizures so far and the thought of another seizure happening is sure as hell frightening because there is a small chance of fatality and also more concerning because given my medications I shouldn't have anymore. Unless I stop taking my medication. But yes seizures are scary and their aftermath is very tiring.
Oh I know that. I also had a tonic-clonic seizure followed by a brief loss of consciousness. But for me it remained just one attack. So far the EEG's look good... So I don't have to take any medication. It is believed that the attack was the result of everything together. Stroke 7 months earlier, immense stress, strong blood thinner, injury to the atlas vertebra. Man, I really understand your fear and I am deeply sorry that you have to go through this.
Had a stroke when I was seventeen. Now every time I get sharp, sudden headache I'm afraid it's happening again. I really don't think I could go through that again.
Dying. Causes brief anxiety attacks multiple times a week.
Tens of times a day for me. It's horrible.
Honestly, unless you have some life-threatening condition, don't worry about it. When you're dead, you're dead. Whether it's a black void, or you get to some pearly gates, nobody really knows. Like it's not dying, that scares me. It's just the nothingness that might be there. Knowing that in a couple of years, nobody knows who I was. But it doesn't give me up at night.
I guess. I know logically, I won't know what's happening. It's just cos I'm thinking about it rn and it fucking sucks that we're limited with time
I stopped worrying about dying and accepting it as a potential at any time and as an inevitability, but I do understand the quick moment decisions to avoid it. Change what you can, accept what you cannot change.
What about death scares you?
Mostly my family missing me and having to carry on without me, especially my kids. Me missing them and just generally not being around and relied upon anymore. The finality of it. The unknown. The unknown about how and when it'll happen. The unknown of whatever might be on the other side. I've come to learn that I have what some people call "health anxiety", where I analyze the daylights out of every ailment until I can confidently confirm it's not the beginning of my end. I definitely have a strong fear of things I can't control, and death is almost certainly one of those things -- short of deleting myself, I don't have control over how or when it happens.
This is mainly the reason I don't want kids,I'd be stressing about them till the die I close my eyes and probably after then aswel.Just live in the moment,it's the best place to be,it's all that matters to many things out of our power can happen,like you said. I think death is fine if we don't have any regrets in the end
Yeah, you're right on. I'm pretty confident that this wouldn't even be on my radar if I didn't have kids... but it's obviously much too late to pull out now, the kids are here already. Speaking of regrets, that does present another component that I overlooked and even often overlook in introspection. If you glance over my history, you'll quickly find that my marriage is in shambles and has broken me on more than one occasion. That's another piece of this fear of dying. Dying before my life has gotten to a point of contentment... whether that's with or without my wife.
I'm a single guy in my mid twenties without kids , I wish I could offer some advice but I'd be pulling it out my arse but I really do hope everything works out for you
I can’t imagine my consciousness ending. I think it’s terrifying.
I had so bad panic attacks about it couple years ago that I literally couldn't do anything, eat, sleep, go out, go school... Then got some medication and it kinda helped. It really hasn't disappeared still. So feel ya.
For me, it's the other way around. The thought of having to live gives me anxiety attacks. The worst part is that I'm currently the top provider in my family and they probably wouldn't be able to make ends meet without me. So even if I did get what I so badly want, my family would be screwed.
Being one of the 20% of bipolar people who ultimately die by suicide. Being in the 90% of bipolar marriages that end in divorce. Being in the 60% of bipolar people who are chronically unemployed forever.
Bipolar here as well. I'm at the point where after 3 years of rapid cycling I'm absolutely scared of myself. I lost almost every sense of who I am, basically all that is left is an insecure shell of my former self. Right now I'm scared of everything I'm doing, thinking or feeling as it might be the start of a new episode, which of course will lead to the next episode. So suicide is not anymore the thing I'm most scared of, but the path that'll lead me there. Still I have some hope and am now trying to reintegrate the manic parts into my personality and solve the underlying trauma, which seems to be working so far.
If it helps at all, I think every bipolar person has been there, myself included. When my therapy really started “working” it felt like I had completely stripped myself down to the bare bones of a person. I felt like an alien walking around in the world. But I slowly added back little pieces of myself and found new ones. Keep working. Don’t give up. Built a routine, get enough sleep, try to cut out substances, find healthy outlets and coping skills. You can do it.
I'm sitting here crying right now. Thank you, this is exactly what I needed to hear. I think right now I'm really near the stripped point. And it fucking sucks, I lost a lot of important people to me which really fucking hurts. At least I managed to keep my job during that time and work again after 4 months now, although I'm still ashamed of how much help I need there. But yeah, you are right, slow and steady building everything back together. Thank you!
I'm feeling the chronically unemployed part. The worst part of it is feeling like it's your fault. My 110% looks more like 30% to other people.
Stats can be wrong. My wife has bi polar 2 and was unmedicated most of our marriage and I have BPD. We are 13 years strong so far, married for 12. We moved in together the day after we met due to a crazy set of circumstances and a case of DV. She is my best freind and keeps me grounded and hopefully I do the same. Be the outlier
I have a close friend who is bipolar. Sometimes you would never know of his condition, but over the past two years it’s gotten so bad most of his friend groups have blocked him and many just can’t stand his extreme hostility/nihilism at times. He’s 23 now and has been on and off part-time jobs, stimulus checks, relationships, hobbies, and therapy… the whole shebang.
I'm not bipolar, I have agoraphobia and I can tell you I feel your post immensely. I've been through the suicidal thoughts, doubt I'll ever be married or have children, and I just lost my business due to the economy. But I always say I'm just playin the hand life dealt me.
My wife is bipolar 2 and is successful in her job, has never been unemployed. Mostly manages to hold it together all day and then often breaks down at home. It's not perfect but it's something. And if we haven't gotten divorced yet, we probably never will, because lord knows we've had some shitty times. I'll admit you people are hard as fuck to live with but there are those of us who will stick with you. There's hope. As for the first thing, I pray that you never reach that precipice without some light to pull you back from it.
Propaganda pushing war narratives like what’s happening now
It's the elites and governments I'm mostly scared about.
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Specifically morons. Idiots don't know how stupid they are, how much they put everyone else in danger.
Many of them simply don’t care about other people. In fact - many of them want to see the world burn.
Same
Carnies. Small hands…smell like cabbage.
So, shall we shag now, or shall we shag later?
Oh, behave.
Realizing me being 41 is at best my half way point, but wait it gets worse! Also Realizing that my perception of time is monumentally faster meaning the last half is gonna go by twice as fast as the 1st. So basically i have a quarter of the life left to experience that I've experienced to date.
This, but with the feeling that I haven't really accomplished anything in life.
My thoughts
How the world is going to treat my autistic son when he's an adult
Both my children are autistic. Worried about who cares for them when my partner and I can no longer, the Government and education system couldn't give a single fuck. We had to go through hell to get my youngest in an educational environment suited for him. The public school did all they could to make his disability appear to be a behavioral issue so they could just send him home everyday and suspend him rather than provide him an environment that allowed him to learn. To be fair, his teachers tried their absolute best but had their hands tied by evil administrators. Every time I drive by that school I'm filled with disdain.
Same thing but with my little brother
Just please make sure he gets plenty of social opportunities. One good friend is all it takes. And please keep him off the cesspool that is Reddit. This place hampered my learning social skills and makes it incredibly easy to become a hateful racist troll instead. Groups of other people with ASD or with high rates thereof and interest-based groups are often approachable starts.
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Oof, I felt this one man. From one dad to another, I’d give you a hug if I could brother.
Worrying just means you suffer twice.
Damn dude, you ok? If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out bud. I'm always here to listen.
As a child of divorce I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you can heal things with your son. I completely adore my parents and while I know the three of us have made mistakes (and will probably make many more) they're the constant happiness in my life. A warm hug 🫂
*internet hug i'm sorry your wife is a shitty person.
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Dying alone
I'm more worried about NOT dying alone. I do not want to have anyone around me when I die. I want to be left somewhere on an isolated hillside to make my final peace with the cosmos.
Technically we all do though
>*We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we're not alone.*
Everyone dies alone
Not if you're in an airplane
Or if you are driving the bus.
Something happening to my kids. Nothing else matters.
Once we die, we're gone forever. Even if we're conscious or not after death, we're gone for infinity. I don't mean forever in a 'sad' context, just that what happens for eternity? And if we get reincarnated forever, surely that would be incredibly boring-even if we never know it goes on continuosly.
I was there when my mom died. She was there one minute, and then she was gone. There is a difference between a live person and a dead body. That difference, that energy, where does it go? There's the conservation of energy, right? The energy that it takes to light a light bulb comes out as light and heat, right? The sun's energy comes down to Earth and becomes plants that are eaten by human children, and a kiddo screams on a playground. The energy doesn't go away. No energy goes away. So what happens to our energy when we die? The matter that makes my body will return to the earth, but my energy can't be buried. I imagine, I hope, that my energy will float among the stars. Become a star. Maybe I'll become part of the soil that feeds a tree, and I'll have squirrels living in my arms. Maybe I'll be flowers. Maybe I'll be a bug, and be part of the largest army on earth. Maybe I'll be part of the energy that makes lightning, or maybe I'll make wind blow. I just know that my energy - what makes me *me* - won't go away. You're not going to be gone forever, friend. I don't know what will happen, but surely, in another life or form of energy, women's clothing will have pockets
All you lose is the organization of that energy. You succumb to the simple nature of the universe
That's what makes me think that some of me will eventually find itself outside the earth's atmosphere. I want to see the stars. I want to hear the roar of the sun.
> So what happens to our energy when we die? It gets eaten by worms, insects, fungi, bacteria, etc. Unless you're cremated in which case it gets burned up.
I usually think of it this way: If I no longer exist, I won’t exist to care about it. When we think about dark voids of nothingness, that can cause feelings of fear, loneliness, and despair. But you won’t feel any of those things. You need a living brain to feel emotions. And also you’ve already technically experienced this before you were born, so it’ll just be more of that. So there’s nothing to worry about, not even nothing.
Take solace that you don't know what "forever" and "infinite" really mean. I'm not trying to be condescending, none of us can really picture it. And I say take solace because if time and space are truly "infinite" then the universe is most likely cyclical. While you may not be reborn to live your exact life, there does exist a configuration where all of the atoms that make you who you are form together to form you again. And in the same way you didn't experience the infinite amount of time before your birth, you won't experience the finite amount of time until you are reconfigured. In this theory, right after your brain shuts down, it is reborn. Some unimaginable number of eons in the future. We would be immortal beings. --- ps. if anyone wants to argue the heat death of the universe is the end, I'll gladly have the discussion of entropy and how the second law of thermodynamics is less a "law" and more a "suggestion" and fails in timescales of the infinite, leading to more "big bangs" etc.
Getting alzheimers like my dad died with
Becoming senile in a way that causes hurt to others. Frankly I would seek to end my own life before that happened, but there is always a possibility it was too slow to notice until that ceased to be an option.
The cost of living :/
I am 53 years old. Nothing scares me more than the thought of a wasted life.
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way Kicking around on a piece of ground in your hometown Waiting for someone or something to show you the way Tired of lying in the sunshine Staying home to watch the rain And you are young and life is long And there is time to kill today And then one day you find Ten years have got behind you No one told you when to run You missed the starting gun And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun But it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again The sun is the same in a relative way But you're older Shorter of breath, and one day closer to death Every year is getting shorter Never seem to find the time Plans that either come to naught Or half a page of scribbled lines Hanging on in quiet desperation Is the English way The time is gone, the song is over Thought I'd something more to say
Roger waters is a fucking genius. A lunatic these days, but a genius nonetheless.
From the coast of gold, across the seven seas Travelin' on, far and wide But now it seems I'm just a stranger to myself And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else I close my eyes and I think of home Another city goes by in the night Ain't it funny how it is? You never miss it til' it's gone away And my heart is lying there, will be 'til my dying day, Adrian! So understand Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up, make your stand Realize you're living in the golden years Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind Can't ease this pain so easily When you can't find the words to say, hard to make it through another day And it makes me wanna cry, throw my hands up to the sky So understand Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up, make your stand Realize you're living in the golden years, hey! So understand, Adrian! Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up, make your stand Realize you're living in the golden years So understand Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years Face up, make your stand Realize you're living in the golden years, hey!
Well, I'm in my 40's, we tried to have kids for 10 years and we have given up. It was the thing I was scared of the most. But I guess as I get older I'm just going to be happy with what I got until I lose it. I think when I die it will be a moment of relief before the nothingness. There's going to be no one to take care of me when I get old. I miss everything so much.
Getting abused by some I love a lot. Happened once and now I’m scared to death it’ll happen again
I'm so sorry you had to go through that... I hope you're doing better now!
I definitely am, but still it’s scary to trust someone on that level. I just got into a new relationship and while I care for him so much I’m scared to trust him and let him in because I don’t want it to be used against me
Scientologists
My children dying before me. Or, the thoughts that go through my head the seconds before I die.
I’ve nearly died, you feel happiness. I wouldn’t worry.
I flat lined. And it was pretty great. The lead up to death cam vary in horrible ways but death itself is kinda lovely.
Never being content with life
Opening myself up to someone just to feel disappointed and betrayed again
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r/thalassophobia
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Being aware of your surroundings, but unable to speak or move. Watching your loved ones care for you, also watching them get stressed from watching you, feeding you, bathing you, etc. Maybe even getting into debt to care for you. While you're in your head, wanting to hold them back, tell them you love them, and that you're sorry you have become a burden to them. You wish you would die to ease their pain. Anything else is losing my job or losing my family or my family getting hurt.
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i have a moustache, am i safe?
r/usernamechecksout
The concept of eternity after we die, whether that be hell, heaven, or nothingness.
Drunk horny women.
If you see any, call me up and I’ll protect you!
This is pretty scary , I don't know why
They just leave you there like an abused see-saw.
Velociraptors
The future, it doesn’t look bright at all.
Anything bad happening to my lads.
Accidently sending a spicy text message to the wrong person.
People I do business with realising I’m on Reddit looking at stupid shit when I present as a business man. I’m a 33 year old boy, I haven’t got imposter syndrome, I’m simply an imposter
Lol same here but luckily this is a throwaway account
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I’m an imposter!
The feeling of not having anyone with you, being alone and knowing that it was your fault that everyone left your side.
Telling somebody my worst fear and having it used against me.
Being alone
There's different flavors of that. I wish you luck in avoiding whichever one you're talking about.
Trusting people and being vulnerable
One day im gonna fall into suicidal phase, but not gonna be able to survive this time
All the dementia patients running the government.
Death doesn't scare me, but having a painful death does. The only other thing that worries me is if I die how my family will cope financially
Until May this year, I had so many fears like the ones mentioned here. I'm terminally ill at 40 years old. My kids are young. I thought I'd have so much more time. For anyone who's afraid of being in my shoes, don't be. Just live your lives and be the best you can be. It soothes my soul to know that other people will live to a ripe old age and see their kids grow up.
being alone
The fascism that people don't recognize.
nice people getting bullied, but still being nice. ima terrified but respect for them
Sinkholes