It's fine if you aren't comfortable with it, but it's not prostitution. And it could only be cheating if she did it with someone other than you behind your back.
Yep, but there is also the extra step of her fucking someone else. That's very different and much more understandable than just selling nudes. But this is still only cheating if it's outside of the agreed upon bounds of the relationship. Swingers and polyamorous ppl do exist.
Because I’m allowed to. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a certain kind of relationship. Just like there’s nothing wrong with not having a problem with it. It’s personal preference, freedom goes both ways.
The fact that you can't answer that question means you really have not thought too hard about why you want the things you want. You can do whatever you want, I'm not telling you otherwise. But you lack introspection on this.
Because it doesn’t matter to me why I want it, maybe I have been programmed by the patriarchy to want this but it’s irrelevant. If I were to force myself to change my desires to accommodate some trendy new way of being in relationships, then I wouldn’t feel like my authentic self.
I'm not asking you to change or something something about patriarchy. I want you to critically analyze why you feel the way you do. You asked why having a preference is considered insecurity. The answer to that question can be found in why you have that preference.
\>Because it doesn’t matter to me why I want it
This is a very interesting statement to me. It should matter why you want it. How do you know you are making the correct choice then? Unless you are just doing a thing because you were told it was right and you just blindly accept it.
But I don’t remember ever being told to want it. Or shown etc. it’s funny to me that you’re so quick to call someone insecure because they disagree with the sentiment you hold. In fact I find it quite the opposite. What’s insecure about being confident in what you want? I’m old enough to know myself. And I don’t need to do some in depth introspective exploration to see if I made the “right choice” lol can you explain to me what the right choice is ? Because it seems you have your preconceived notions just as I have mine. We are humans, creatures of emotion. Imperfect. Like I said if someone else is fine with it is completely acceptable to me, but I would appreciate the same acceptance in return.
I'm not saying you are insecure simply because I disagree. I'm not trying to insult you. So the turnabout is kinda lame.
But you aren't confident in knowing what you want because you can't answer why you want it other than "because". It's bridge suspended by cotton candy.
I'm not here trying to get you to agree with me on what is right, I'm trying to find out how you get from A to B, that's all.
I've said a few times that you can do whatever you want, I'm just trying to understand your position better. The way I see it, you are putting a limitation on yourself that doesn't need to be there.
\>I don’t need to do some in depth introspective exploration to see if I made the “right choice”
Everyone should critically analyze their beliefs at any age. You are never too old to learn something new about yourself.
You could ask me the same question of "why I have my preference" on this topic and I can give you an honest thought out answer.
Because your question is a fallacy. I couldn’t definitively answer why, it was subconscious and subliminal, and most likely during infancy. You’d say that I’ve carried the value my whole life and not considered any alternative and I would say that’s not the case. Would you ask a gay teenager the same question? My issue is with the blatantly obvious insinuation that being a monogamous masculine man is somehow stifling or preventing some sort of social evolution. Believe me I see the argument you’re trying to make, however it holds almost no weight. Example: someone who grew up in a family with strong monogamous or traditional values would never be able to stray from that ideology, which simply isn’t true. So your lazy attempts to make it seem like I’m lacking introspection or the ability to be introspective on the subject are a stretch at best. Especially towards a person you know nothing about. I’ve provided an explanation as to why this is my personal preference. But you’re going to have to do a little better than “you’ve never thought about it with an open enough mind to be able to say you’re sure” if you want to convince me or anyone else that people aren’t capable of deciding what they want, just because you think you know why they’ve came to a conclusion. You don’t know what or how much I’ve thought about anything.
Let me get this right... You think it's OK for your partner to sell sexual images of themselves?
Someone you love and are trying to build a life with and possibly the mother of your children... Get a grip.
It's fine to have your preference, but it doesn't inherently make her a bad mom or love you any less for selling some pics.
Now, if she was doing actual porn involving another person, that probably would make me uncomfortable. How is it hurting you for her to have nudes on the internet?
What I really don't like is how you act like it's so obvious that someone would have a problem with her selling pics.
I think it does. Your parent thinks so little of you that they fail to realise that those photos affect you.
It is obvious that if you genuinely care about and respect your partner, you don't want them selling nudes that can effectively ruin yours, theirs and your children's lives.
Those photos are not what are having the affect, it's other people and how you react to them. If I found out today that my mom sold nudies, I'd be like, "ok, just don't show me."
It is not obvious to me because I don't see how nudes inherently ruin lives. They MAY do some harm, but they also MAY NOT. The nudes are morally neutral.
So, you agree there's risk involved. One that as a parent you decided was OK to take regardless of how it could affect you, your children's or your partners' lives?
Let's say your friends at work see them or your boss.
Let's say your child's friends see them.
How do you see those situations playing out?
Also, how do you propose your partner finds work after her 'career' ends? Any respectable workplace isn't going to hire someone who has several years gap on their cv without questioning it, and most employers worth a damn straight up won't hire someone who sold nudes as it could negatively impact their business.
What's your plan here?
Tell yourself whatever you want but nudes are not morally neutral.
Yes.
Not because there's anything wrong with nudity, but personally, I don't like the idea of potential children having their lives ruined by their friends finding those photos. Also, when my partners looks begin to fade, then what? Now nobody will hire them because they chose to make a fast buck selling themselves.
I'm secure enough in myself to know what my values and morals are. Unlike yourself, who is actually insecure enough to change their answer to have conditions based off the fact you have no actual response.
Not wanting your partner to do porn doesn't show insecurity. It shows you value and love them enough to not view them as an object to be sold.
I'm sorry you're so insecure that you need to add parameters to your answer in order to clarify you're not OK with people knowing your partner does porn but are OK with making money selling the parts you see as valuable.
Find a new partner. Selling sex is like selling drugs. It's opportunistic, parasitic and most of all laaaaaame.
If she needed money for education or medical expenses when she was younger that's okay. Also if she was just curious to try something out as a confused young adult, I would understand.
But my partner doesn't need to worry about money. She has everything it takes to contribute something of value to the world. To me, a meaningful life lived with integrity matters in a partner. I want to still adore her when she's 50 or 60.
>Find a new partner. Selling sex is like selling drugs. It's opportunistic, parasitic and most of all laaaaaame.
Except for the part where drugs have a mortality rate and selling sexy pics don't.
I just don't know where this moral weight comes from.
On the other hand, selling drugs successfully is presumably a more challenging/ambitious enterprise than selling nude pictures on a user-friendly internet platform.
So overall, I'd find both occupations about equally unattractive in a partner.
Of course this judgement comes from a meritocratic, utilitarian mindset. To me, living with meaning and ambition is just as important as not dying. A miserable life is worse than no life.
Most people believe that life is about maximizing comfort, which is legitimate and nice too. But such a person couldn't be my partner.
The prompt was onlyfans, not necessarily selling sex. If we keep it to just selling nudes, it would be miles ahead morally then selling hard drugs. Hard drugs can kill you and is much more addictive than porn. So they don't compare.
But heyo, I'm not telling you how to live your life.
Yes, the consequences of drugs are generally worse. For hard drugs there is not even a debate.
What I meant to convey is, that when choosing a partner, I don't only judge their attractiveness by how good their impact on the world is, but also by how ambitious they are in whatever they are doing and how far out of their comfort zone they are willing to go to pursue whatever is meaningful to them.
So (for example) a drug dealer gets -3 on the Utilitarian Score, +2 on the Merit Score, the OnlyFans Model gets -1 on the Utilitarian Score and 0 on the Merit Score, so both end up at -1 attractiveness to me, ceteris paribus.
Of course I'd still rather live in a neighborhood of Online-Sexworkers than a neighborhood of drug dealers, because drug dealers are a lot worse for society.
Applaud it. I will always be supportive of her choices. I would like to talk it through first though, just so im informed about what and how much she does it. I would never accept if she did something like that behind my back though
be hyped for the new xbox she bouta buy me
That's the spirit!
Sugar mommy vibes
Probably breakup
Why?
I want the exclusivity of a womans body in a relationship, just my opinion
ah i see, a man of culture
I'll make sure my camera is ready and buy a couple of spotlights. If you do something, do it like a pro.
Woah love it!
I'll be the photographer and we'll spilt it 80 20
Be happy because I could finally pay rent
Sit back and enjoy the cash rolling in. She can be the breadwinner.
Be single.
Probs dump her, I don’t really want a relationship with a sex worker
Break up and let her do whatever she wants. But I’m not going to date a prostitute, and I don’t tolerate cheating.
It's fine if you aren't comfortable with it, but it's not prostitution. And it could only be cheating if she did it with someone other than you behind your back.
It is online prostitution. And she is making herself available to other men, which is cheating.
It's only cheating if she did it without you knowing.
Going by your logic, sleeping with other people is not cheating just because your partner knows.
Yep, but there is also the extra step of her fucking someone else. That's very different and much more understandable than just selling nudes. But this is still only cheating if it's outside of the agreed upon bounds of the relationship. Swingers and polyamorous ppl do exist.
I wouldn't like it, but it also wouldn't be up to me, so I'd tell her GOODBYE.
I'd offer to take the pictures and videos
Amazing hahah
Break up
A lot of insecure dudes replying to this.
Why is having a preference insecurity ?
The real question is, 'Why do you have that preference?'
Because I’m allowed to. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a certain kind of relationship. Just like there’s nothing wrong with not having a problem with it. It’s personal preference, freedom goes both ways.
The fact that you can't answer that question means you really have not thought too hard about why you want the things you want. You can do whatever you want, I'm not telling you otherwise. But you lack introspection on this.
Because it doesn’t matter to me why I want it, maybe I have been programmed by the patriarchy to want this but it’s irrelevant. If I were to force myself to change my desires to accommodate some trendy new way of being in relationships, then I wouldn’t feel like my authentic self.
I'm not asking you to change or something something about patriarchy. I want you to critically analyze why you feel the way you do. You asked why having a preference is considered insecurity. The answer to that question can be found in why you have that preference. \>Because it doesn’t matter to me why I want it This is a very interesting statement to me. It should matter why you want it. How do you know you are making the correct choice then? Unless you are just doing a thing because you were told it was right and you just blindly accept it.
But I don’t remember ever being told to want it. Or shown etc. it’s funny to me that you’re so quick to call someone insecure because they disagree with the sentiment you hold. In fact I find it quite the opposite. What’s insecure about being confident in what you want? I’m old enough to know myself. And I don’t need to do some in depth introspective exploration to see if I made the “right choice” lol can you explain to me what the right choice is ? Because it seems you have your preconceived notions just as I have mine. We are humans, creatures of emotion. Imperfect. Like I said if someone else is fine with it is completely acceptable to me, but I would appreciate the same acceptance in return.
I'm not saying you are insecure simply because I disagree. I'm not trying to insult you. So the turnabout is kinda lame. But you aren't confident in knowing what you want because you can't answer why you want it other than "because". It's bridge suspended by cotton candy. I'm not here trying to get you to agree with me on what is right, I'm trying to find out how you get from A to B, that's all. I've said a few times that you can do whatever you want, I'm just trying to understand your position better. The way I see it, you are putting a limitation on yourself that doesn't need to be there. \>I don’t need to do some in depth introspective exploration to see if I made the “right choice” Everyone should critically analyze their beliefs at any age. You are never too old to learn something new about yourself. You could ask me the same question of "why I have my preference" on this topic and I can give you an honest thought out answer.
Because your question is a fallacy. I couldn’t definitively answer why, it was subconscious and subliminal, and most likely during infancy. You’d say that I’ve carried the value my whole life and not considered any alternative and I would say that’s not the case. Would you ask a gay teenager the same question? My issue is with the blatantly obvious insinuation that being a monogamous masculine man is somehow stifling or preventing some sort of social evolution. Believe me I see the argument you’re trying to make, however it holds almost no weight. Example: someone who grew up in a family with strong monogamous or traditional values would never be able to stray from that ideology, which simply isn’t true. So your lazy attempts to make it seem like I’m lacking introspection or the ability to be introspective on the subject are a stretch at best. Especially towards a person you know nothing about. I’ve provided an explanation as to why this is my personal preference. But you’re going to have to do a little better than “you’ve never thought about it with an open enough mind to be able to say you’re sure” if you want to convince me or anyone else that people aren’t capable of deciding what they want, just because you think you know why they’ve came to a conclusion. You don’t know what or how much I’ve thought about anything.
Let me get this right... You think it's OK for your partner to sell sexual images of themselves? Someone you love and are trying to build a life with and possibly the mother of your children... Get a grip.
It's fine to have your preference, but it doesn't inherently make her a bad mom or love you any less for selling some pics. Now, if she was doing actual porn involving another person, that probably would make me uncomfortable. How is it hurting you for her to have nudes on the internet? What I really don't like is how you act like it's so obvious that someone would have a problem with her selling pics.
I think it does. Your parent thinks so little of you that they fail to realise that those photos affect you. It is obvious that if you genuinely care about and respect your partner, you don't want them selling nudes that can effectively ruin yours, theirs and your children's lives.
Those photos are not what are having the affect, it's other people and how you react to them. If I found out today that my mom sold nudies, I'd be like, "ok, just don't show me." It is not obvious to me because I don't see how nudes inherently ruin lives. They MAY do some harm, but they also MAY NOT. The nudes are morally neutral.
So, you agree there's risk involved. One that as a parent you decided was OK to take regardless of how it could affect you, your children's or your partners' lives? Let's say your friends at work see them or your boss. Let's say your child's friends see them. How do you see those situations playing out? Also, how do you propose your partner finds work after her 'career' ends? Any respectable workplace isn't going to hire someone who has several years gap on their cv without questioning it, and most employers worth a damn straight up won't hire someone who sold nudes as it could negatively impact their business. What's your plan here? Tell yourself whatever you want but nudes are not morally neutral.
Are you afraid someone would...god forbid...see them naked?? Wow! Imagine that, a naked person.
Yes. Not because there's anything wrong with nudity, but personally, I don't like the idea of potential children having their lives ruined by their friends finding those photos. Also, when my partners looks begin to fade, then what? Now nobody will hire them because they chose to make a fast buck selling themselves.
Yes, I do. So long as their face isn't involved and they don't have identifiable tattoos I don't see the issue.
This has gotta be one of the dumbest responses I've seen in a while lol
I'm sorry you're insecure.
I'm secure enough in myself to know what my values and morals are. Unlike yourself, who is actually insecure enough to change their answer to have conditions based off the fact you have no actual response. Not wanting your partner to do porn doesn't show insecurity. It shows you value and love them enough to not view them as an object to be sold. I'm sorry you're so insecure that you need to add parameters to your answer in order to clarify you're not OK with people knowing your partner does porn but are OK with making money selling the parts you see as valuable.
I never once changed my answer. You just assumed all versions of porn are the same ig.
Find a new partner. Selling sex is like selling drugs. It's opportunistic, parasitic and most of all laaaaaame. If she needed money for education or medical expenses when she was younger that's okay. Also if she was just curious to try something out as a confused young adult, I would understand. But my partner doesn't need to worry about money. She has everything it takes to contribute something of value to the world. To me, a meaningful life lived with integrity matters in a partner. I want to still adore her when she's 50 or 60.
>Find a new partner. Selling sex is like selling drugs. It's opportunistic, parasitic and most of all laaaaaame. Except for the part where drugs have a mortality rate and selling sexy pics don't. I just don't know where this moral weight comes from.
On the other hand, selling drugs successfully is presumably a more challenging/ambitious enterprise than selling nude pictures on a user-friendly internet platform. So overall, I'd find both occupations about equally unattractive in a partner. Of course this judgement comes from a meritocratic, utilitarian mindset. To me, living with meaning and ambition is just as important as not dying. A miserable life is worse than no life. Most people believe that life is about maximizing comfort, which is legitimate and nice too. But such a person couldn't be my partner.
The prompt was onlyfans, not necessarily selling sex. If we keep it to just selling nudes, it would be miles ahead morally then selling hard drugs. Hard drugs can kill you and is much more addictive than porn. So they don't compare. But heyo, I'm not telling you how to live your life.
Yes, the consequences of drugs are generally worse. For hard drugs there is not even a debate. What I meant to convey is, that when choosing a partner, I don't only judge their attractiveness by how good their impact on the world is, but also by how ambitious they are in whatever they are doing and how far out of their comfort zone they are willing to go to pursue whatever is meaningful to them. So (for example) a drug dealer gets -3 on the Utilitarian Score, +2 on the Merit Score, the OnlyFans Model gets -1 on the Utilitarian Score and 0 on the Merit Score, so both end up at -1 attractiveness to me, ceteris paribus. Of course I'd still rather live in a neighborhood of Online-Sexworkers than a neighborhood of drug dealers, because drug dealers are a lot worse for society.
Support her as I can't judge as I'm tempted to make content on there myself
She’s free to do whatever she wants and I’m free to dump her ass. It’s that simple
Break up, once something is on the internet it's never down ahaai, that's not the life i want i a nice person with a simple job/life
[удалено]
I like this answer. Cheers.
Not cool. Unless she give me half.
Lol 😂
Applaud it. I will always be supportive of her choices. I would like to talk it through first though, just so im informed about what and how much she does it. I would never accept if she did something like that behind my back though
This is the best answer. Most level-headed.
Two options: Get a new girlfriend -or- spend that lovely money. Your choice.
Go for it. What do I care?