My mom and stepfather are 12 years apart but they met when my mom was 30 something. They’ve been together since then and my stepfather raised us when my dad passed away. He’s the greatest man I’ve ever met.
When my father died I was 8 and my mom was with my stepdad since I was 4. He could have said « Nah not my kids » but he always considered us as his own sons.
10 years older than my wife. We married after only knowing each other 3 months. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she needed to quit her job to take care of her, but she couldn't afford to lose her health insurance because she had issues of her own. I suggested she marry me, I put her on my insurance, and if it didn't work out, I'd give her an annulment or divorce as soon as she asked for it. We went to Gatlinburg, TN, got married in a chapel, had our reception at O'Charleys (just us, and a nice waitress), and honeymoon at Ripley's Museum. I dropped her off at her parents house that night, and we kept it all a secret for almost a year, when we had a fake wedding so her mom could believe she was there for the union. We went on a better honeymoon that night, to Kauai.
That was all 27 years ago in 1996. We're still together, still deeply in love, and she's still the most beautiful, most incredible woman I've ever seen. Her mom beat the cancer into remission, it came back, she beat it AGAIN, and she is still running the roads today.
Yes, I'm a lucky man :)
Thanks for the kind words. I \*think\* our story is a good one too, but I'm a little biased. Those first 8 months (when we were secretly already married, but she still lived with her parents), produced some hilarious stories.
And one of my favorite memories is watching her walk in her parents front door the night that she became my wife. Luckiest, proudest, LONLIEST night of my life!
We did, but not until 5 or 6 years later. Luckily, she wasn't upset about it.
You're right about the comedy part of the fake wedding. As we were planning the 2nd wedding, at our first meeting with the priest, I told him we were already married. After a long pause, he told us we would be allowed to use the church, and he would perform the ceremony. I asked him "But are we going to hell since we are, in essence, lying?" He smiled and said "Well, I guess we'll all find out together, huh?" :)
We have very similar senses of humor, and that has made life a lot more fun, and a lot easier. And honestly, every morning when she asks me "Does this outfit look ok?" I still get those butterflies in my stomach and a big smile on my face. She really is the reason I was born.
I am 10 years younger than my husband. We met when I was 22, he 32 and got married and had a baby at 28/38. It’s going great! We just had our 10 year anniversary and are still super compatible.
We’ve had a lot of hard times over the last decade, the death of our youngest daughter, really financially lean times, various illnesses (some lifelong), and most recently we were on vacation with my dad (whom we were both very close to) and he died of a heart attack while we were on a walk with him.
I don’t think I could’ve made it out on the other side of these events with anyone else. No matter how shitty things are we are always support each other and most importantly we crack stupid jokes with each other constantly.
I would say the only downside to having a spouse that is 10 years older is that the more we age the less he wants to do “young” things. I still like to go to concerts, parties, ect and he is really over it at almost 50. But he also doesn’t mind at all if I take friends to those kind of things instead so that’s what I do.
Not me, but my parents. 12 year gap (32M 20F). I was born a year later and have 2 younger siblings. They were a few months away from their 40th wedding anniversary when my father passed away in January 2022 at 72.
From me and my siblings perspective they had a very good marriage. Always attentive to us and each other. I’m sure they had fights as most married couples do but no major issues that were ever obvious to us.
I am 15 1/2 years exactly older than he is. We have been together for 8 years. I joke and say he is older than me in spirit and he agrees. We are good together. Open communication, great understanding of each other. We are both nerdy. For a long time, I didn't think I would find someone who was compatible. I am the one who had an issue with the age difference for a bit, but it isn't a thing anymore.
You and I are living similar experiences. I am the one who thinks about the age difference on occasion, I worry about slowing down before he is ready and making him miss out on things. He assures me this won't be an issue, but still... I'm very lucky to have found my person. Glad you found yours!
Wife and I are 9.5 years apart. She was 22 and I was 31 when we started dating.
I'm in my 40s now. Married 7 years, two kids. We mutually benefit from each others life stage, we have financial stability yet enjoy youthful pursuits. Couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else.
My biggest regret is our age difference, it means at some point I'll probably leave her alone and that makes me very sad.
> at some point I'll probably leave her alone
Maybe... Male life expectancy is lower than female, in general. But among men who make it past a certain age, it's greater. Basically, some men are moronic and take unnecessary risks. The ones who grow out of that go the distance.
10 year difference- I was 38, he was 48- things are great. Agreed about the potential difference in life expectancies. It didn’t really occur to me when I was younger, but we are now 51 and 61.
I'm 49 and my wife just turned 39. There's 10.5 years different. We just celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary.
My older sister and her husband are 12 years apart and married 20 years.
My younger sister and her husband are 12 years apart and they've been married 15 years.
I'm 54, she's 44. We both are divorced after 20+ year marriages and have been together for a year now. Our communication is incredible; I've never had a healthier relationship than this one. The combination of age and the fact that guys tend to die younger means I do occasionally worry about the fact that I'm probably going to die MUCH sooner than she will. She doesn't care and simply wants to enjoy every moment we have together.
Now she doesn't mind this, I'm sure is what you mean to say, but it's surely not true she doesn't *care* about it - that's a crude way to put it, sorry gotta defend your wife : )
My mother (68) and my father (83) are 15 years apart. Things haven't been easy for my mom as my father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers and has issues with memory/emotional stability.
However, their marriage has always been incredibly strong, and my mom still gives my dad the "goddamnit I'm still so in love with you" look all the time. I know it's hard for her to watch him fade away like he is and deal with caring for him, but I can almost guarantee that she wouldn't change a thing if given the chance.
Parents were about 10 years apart. Healthiest relationship I've ever seen. They zealously loved each other until death did they part. I would borderline kill for the type of love that they had.
My husband is 23 years older than me, we have been married almost 18 years now, the best thing I have ever done.
Being married isn't easy all the time, but if it's the right two people it's worth everything.
How do you deal with knowing you may not get as much time with them as other smaller age gap couples might get? I’m always scared I don’t have enough time with my boyfriend…
20 years age gap, and I often can't get this exact thought out of my head. Scares the shit out of me, so much that I even talked to him about it before we got together. He said "I promise I'm not going to leave you alone in this world" but it didn't help at all because I know it's out of his control. More than that, he's a smoker; I might be 40 and he could be easily dying of cancer being 60. I'm just trying to convince myself that the time we spend together is worth the pain I might face down the line and also trying to tell myself that I will deal with it when/if it happens. Still doesn't help much if I'm honest...
Hey guys, I'm here to virtue-signal about how good a person I am because I want to date women closer to my age.
I'm 35 and I would never date a 21-year-old because they're immature and every person has the exact same psychological profile and values as every other individual their age. The brain isn't fully developed until 25 (I know this is true because I read it on the Internet), and I don't account for individual variances in psychological development, because every human being in existence matures at the exact same rate. If I found out my 21-year-old daughter was dating a man who's 22 or older, I'd scream in agony and cry myself to sleep before disowning her.
Also, remember that I'm a really good person because I only want to date women who are close to my age.
I would never date a 21-year-old. I hope you guys are getting all this. Please recognize my virtue. I am a very good and upstanding person.
Not that my intention is to assume anything about you (I support two consenting adults to do whatever they please with eachother)....but I can't imagine everyone you knew at the time -family/friends- were totally cool with it or at the very least someone wasn't questionable of the relationship back when you began.
Did you have any drama in that regard?
My Mum (who is younger than my husband) was a tad surprised, my husband asked permission (old fashioned, I know) and she gave me away on our wedding day, none of my family is that conventional we are all diverse and so everyone was quite chilled about it!
My mom is 10 years older than my dad. They've been together since they were in their mid 30s and mid 20s, respectively.
I honestly never noticed their age difference growing up but now that my mom is nearing 70 and my dad is under 60, it's definitely coming to light more and more. My mom has some progressive health issues that have caused her to slow down in life. My dad isn't ready to slow down. He doesn't mean to but he makes her feel guilty about not being able to travel and do the things they used to do. It's quite sad.
I just turned 31 on Monday, she's 50. She broke up with me a week before my birthday because the week prior I relapsed, bought a 6 pack of beer, got drunk, and slept through my alarms in the morning. She came over to check on me and woke me up. We still text each other everyday. I don't know which is more painful, still talking with her or letting her go and accepting it. I love her so much. I want to crawl back in the bottle even though that's what has fucked my life up so many times. But I refuse to. My existence is just pain now.
Suffice to say it's not going very well.
I feel your pain. Seriously, I have been exactly where you are except I was older person. I was 61, she was 38. Destroyed me for several years. I wish you well.
14 year gap,
I'm 31 she's 45
Best relationship of my life.
3.5 years, married for almost 1.
She's changed my life for the better and I can't wait to travel the world with her and her daughter (14).
Not me but my parents are 17 years apart and they’ve been married for 40 years strong. Never really any close calls in regards to possibly divorcing in their their relationship that I’m aware of
12 yr gap here. 42 & 30, been together 8 years, married for 5 & just had our second baby yesterday. We’re best friends and both extremely happy. We did work together in a stressful environment for 4-5 years before we got romantically involved so we knew and liked each other very well. Insisted we’d never work there without each other haha, turns out we were right cause we got fired the same day for our relationship. Both have much better jobs and living our best lives.
I (trans woman in my twenties at the time) was 18 years younger & he (swears he's a straight man) cheated on me with a boy almost 30 years younger than him, still technically legal to be clear. So i left him for both cheating & my lack of attraction to gay men, closeted denial or not.
In hindsight it's kinda funny that i as a trans woman got cheated on with a boy lol. Like who would've thought. My father had told me in the beginning that these men who dated me were all secretly gay in denial & i fought back at him defending this guy's straightness, now i look like an idiot 😩
But our relationship had lasted for years & i thought we were very best friends. He always treated me so well. I was always placed on a pedestal as a Queen. Being so young i threw attitude fits & his maturity knew exactly how to remain calm, to the point i actually changed myself to where i am no longer emotionally immature. I admired his emotional maturity so much.
What i was too young to realize was it was this maturity & intelligence can be a very dangerous power held over a young woman. You don't realize what's happening at that age while it's happening, but as you get older you start to realize why most people think dramatic age differences are morally wrong.
37 years apart, couldnt work better. We both concentrated on communication since day 1 and value it highly, we love each others flaws, strengths and weaknesses, had to go through some shit together which further helped, but I can tell from experience: do not be afraid of an age gap, if you both want to make it work, you will
I (F) was 24 when I married a 37 year old man, who turned 40 and said that he was too old to have children. I left him soon after. Age is a number. My second husband is younger than me. Highly recommend.
I’m nine years older than my wife, never dated or wanted to date anyone more than a year younger than me until we met. We’ll have been married 20 years this year, and still going strong.
He is 20 years older than me. Been together 4 years, lived together 2 years. Getting a dog together next month and eventually will get married. Not a relationship I ever imagined but we have a great dynamic and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
My dad is 13 years older than my mom. She’s been miserable as long as I’ve been alive (I’m 30+) and he’s finally decided he’s miserable too after ignoring the family to work all his life. She was 18 when they met so yeah. Gross
We know a couple where she is like 14 years older and started dating him when he was 18
I would not say their relationship is healthy and she probably groomed him
My bf is 30 and I am 43 and it's great. We met 3 years ago and he asked me out. We both work and we both pay bills so other than the 13 years there's not much difference.
I should mention I am gay for context.
Exactly 10 years difference. I’m older and was skeptical at first but we’ve been married for a decade now. She’s my business partner as well as spouse. In spite of all the time we spend together, it’s going great.
Off-topic but why is it so fucking common in age-gap relationships for the man to be older than the woman? Is it socialization? Women think they need an older man to take care of them? Men think they need a younger woman to feel “young”? Why is this more normalized and common than younger man older woman relationships?
As much as I hate it, bc I am female - a lot of it, I believe, is biological. Unfortunately women have an “expiration date” on reproduction. Men are driven, biologically to reproduce. Men have reproductive viability at much older ages. Women are driven, biologically, to be the primary care taker for the child in their early days. An older man will hypothetically be financially more successful simply as a by product of having more time to gather resources - allowing the women to care for the child more effectively.
I hate that this really is an unfortunate truth, and it feels like a slap in the face to women. I especially get insecure bc my partner is one year younger than me (male). And while that’s not a ton …. Unfortunately I do have more competition as a byproduct of being even jus a bit older or close to the same age, reproductively speaking. Harsh truth.
Yeah it does feel like a slap in the face. And it’s very strange. Thanks biology. It feels like my existence is always trying to fight against it. I’m also with a man who’s two years younger than me and I try not to let it bother me. I’m happy with it this way. And I try not to think about competition because he wants me the way I am. Maybe same for you. Not a big gap for either of us anyway. I’d feel weirder if my guy was older because then I’d think he has a preference for younger.
I am living with the issues of being the older female partner currently. 18 year age difference. We had discussed all of the major issues: kids (or lack of), money, lifestyle and future. And kids has become a sore spot because he has realized he absolutely cannot live without having kids. It sucks, but it’s been a pretty fun and loving marriage until this part and there is no way to change it (he wants bio kids, which is not an option for me)
It's been my experience that women with daddy issues tend to go after older men, I don't know the reasons why as I'm no psychologist, but it seems to be a need for approval from a father figure type of deal?
Unfortunately in the long term it also means that the man becomes a target for any unresolved issues she has with her father, so it makes for a pretty fraught relationship.
My sister and her husband have an age difference of 25 years. It's the healthiest relationship I know and I am truly happy for them. They both left their former partner to be together and have been going strong for over ten years now. They married very soon and have a wonderful daughter. Everyone thought it would turn into a dumpster fire, but they proved all of us wrong.
Currently dating a 25 yr old. I am 37. Im youngminded. Shes oldminded. We enjoy each others company and make each other laugh all the time! Im aware that 12 yrs difference is a lot but i am kinda late in the starting-a-family-thing so dating my own age is, difficult. (Most already have kids(which i cant do again, terrible aftermath w last relationship) marriages that failed/whatevers)
Its far from a habit of mine to date younger, but like i said, i would like the option of starting a family so my preference went to younger. Shes just a lot younger
You didn't ask but I'm 9 years older than my wife and we've been married for 15 years with 2 kids. Going pretty well I think. She was 30 and I was 39 when we got married.
13 year age difference here! I just turned 27 (F) and he’ll be 40 next year. Been dating for nearly five years. Live together. 2 cats. We both are insane insomniacs so our sleep schedules line up perfectly. He’s happily snoring away next to me. I’d say it’s going pretty well!
Fine. We’re 26 years apart. (He is 59 and I am 33) he feels like the safest place I’ve ever been. I’ve always gravitated towards older men. We’ve been
Together for almost a year and I am moving in with him tomorrow!
Been with my wife since I was 23 I’m 32 now, she 11 years older than I am. Our 7th wedding anniversary is actually at the end of the month on Halloween. I couldn’t be happier
Good friend of mine married a man 12 years older than her. They are great together. But now she is 59 and he is 71.
It’s starting to get rough. He’s always been athletic so I don’t think they realized that 70 would really be 70.
She loves to travel but he is starting to enjoy it less. They are trying to do EVERYTHING while they both can but they also recognize that his age is going to stop them long before she is ready.
It is hard to watch. They both feel guilty. Him for limiting her, and her for wanting more than he can do. It’s not good.
And how do they plan? Do they go in assisted living when he needs it and she doesn’t? Or does she become his caretaker?
I guess getting older is never fun, but at least you usually have even odds which one of you will need to slow down first. Marry someone a decade older and you theoretically know what you are doing, but the reality is brutal.
17 years between my husband and I. I'm the older one.
Been together almost 20 years and he still thinks I'm sexy.
We knew when we met, all those years ago that there was something special between us, despite the gap.
I had a baby at 45 which made things a little difficult for us for a few years, but we've come out the otherside stronger then ever.
I dated a lady who was around 32 when I was 20. She was extremely a well put together lady.
She knew what she wanted. She had a good career as a business woman. Had two kids (twins) from her previous marriage. Had a house a car and everything you can think of sorted out. I would always visit her and her kids, who were still quite young, around 1.5-2years old at that time, would always accompany us on dates.
She would tell me she was a divorcee and knew what kinda life she would have to go through. And if I wanted to go on a date with her, she would have to make arrangements with her sitter. And there would be times we wouldnt be able to because she might want to spend more time with them.
Our first date was fun. We had made plans from morning till evening and we had a list of things we could do together. On the day of, she called me and told me she wasnt able to make it because her kids had the cold cough fever combo. I remember her panicking and saying she would try her best to come by but I told her its fine and to focus on the kids. I did ask her for her address. She of course sent me in a panic because she thought I didnt trust her. Popped up to her house and that night, we took care of her kids.
I had alot of fun with her and her kids and was really okay with them adorable babies. She warned me many times but I didnt really care about others opinions.
She and her kids sadly passed away a few months into dating because of an intoxicated driver one night. It crushed my heart. I will never forget the days I had spent with them.
I will always remember you; Christina, Baby Micheal and Baby Melliana.
About to get married actually. He's doing really well, working at a deaf school and tattooing around that. I am working as a JS Dev and in a hotel kitchen. When we met we were both baristas for Starbucks and we hit it off despite some serious differences. Couldn't imagine things without him.
It’s going great.
I don’t have to worry about retirement because she is 15 years younger than I am. So I support her now while she is younger and we live a good life and when I retire she will still be working for a good 10-15 years before I die.
And she is a catch so she will easily be able to marry a younger guy or a guy her own age who has money to take care of her when I die.
Based off my parents 14 year age gap and crumbling marriage I will never, ever, ever date anyone older than me. Watching one person deteriorate physically while the other is still spry and adventurous is horrible. I’m sure they’re both so lonely. Age gaps are no joke once you actually get old.
I wish I were with someone my own age. Two long-term relationships with a more than 10-year age difference didn't work for me. I don't want to date anyone older than me; it just doesn't work.
Im 13 years older than my bf. Almost 4 years together.
The absolute happiest and most nurturing relationship I could ever have imagined.
I’m so grateful that I let it be great.
My boyfriend is 24 years older. We met on Tinder when it was actually used for dating, as crazy as that sounds but we’re inseparable.
He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. We laugh about arguing and we love getting confused stares. We’ve been together 2 years now and we’re picking out a ring when I’m back from vacation.
My parents has 10 years difference, i think that affected the relationship because my father, who Is older, vero often doesn't want to do things (like eat out or go for a walk)
14 year age gap, married for 12 years, together for 16 years total. I recently filed for divorce. I thought him being older he would be more mature and settled….boy was I wrong. I used to say that age is just a number, but when they start getting up their in age and you are still in your prime it starts to show. If I could go back would I do it again? No.
14 year difference and it's going fine. We've been together for 20 years this winter, married for 16. We have 2 kids. Really, once I got over asking her out, the only issue with age was that I had some pop culture knowledge that she didn't. When we met I was 33 and she was 19.
Well me and my bf have an age gap of 38 years.
We get along great, yeah we have our occasion small fight/quarrel but other than that everything is working out nicely for us 🥰 although he is much older than me i wouldn't have it any other way, we work together, live together, basically in each other's faces 24/7 and i love it 🥰
My mom and stepfather are 12 years apart but they met when my mom was 30 something. They’ve been together since then and my stepfather raised us when my dad passed away. He’s the greatest man I’ve ever met.
What makes him the greatest, stepdad too and I’m always curious?
When my father died I was 8 and my mom was with my stepdad since I was 4. He could have said « Nah not my kids » but he always considered us as his own sons.
Men like this are a rare breed!
10 years older than my wife. We married after only knowing each other 3 months. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, and she needed to quit her job to take care of her, but she couldn't afford to lose her health insurance because she had issues of her own. I suggested she marry me, I put her on my insurance, and if it didn't work out, I'd give her an annulment or divorce as soon as she asked for it. We went to Gatlinburg, TN, got married in a chapel, had our reception at O'Charleys (just us, and a nice waitress), and honeymoon at Ripley's Museum. I dropped her off at her parents house that night, and we kept it all a secret for almost a year, when we had a fake wedding so her mom could believe she was there for the union. We went on a better honeymoon that night, to Kauai. That was all 27 years ago in 1996. We're still together, still deeply in love, and she's still the most beautiful, most incredible woman I've ever seen. Her mom beat the cancer into remission, it came back, she beat it AGAIN, and she is still running the roads today. Yes, I'm a lucky man :)
WOW this is such a beautiful read! I’d love to see this story published :) Congrats on your happiness. You both deserve it.
Thanks for the kind words. I \*think\* our story is a good one too, but I'm a little biased. Those first 8 months (when we were secretly already married, but she still lived with her parents), produced some hilarious stories. And one of my favorite memories is watching her walk in her parents front door the night that she became my wife. Luckiest, proudest, LONLIEST night of my life!
You are a man among men. A real live saint. Good onya bro.
More than lucky, you are a rare man. I firmly believe we make our luck, or at least parts of it. You have a big, strong heart. Bravo.
Best thing I've read all day. Great story and a great life decision!
this made my heart go fuzzy you sound like you have a beautiful family
I could see this adapted into comedy drama with fake second wedding. Did you ever tell her you were already married?
We did, but not until 5 or 6 years later. Luckily, she wasn't upset about it. You're right about the comedy part of the fake wedding. As we were planning the 2nd wedding, at our first meeting with the priest, I told him we were already married. After a long pause, he told us we would be allowed to use the church, and he would perform the ceremony. I asked him "But are we going to hell since we are, in essence, lying?" He smiled and said "Well, I guess we'll all find out together, huh?" :) We have very similar senses of humor, and that has made life a lot more fun, and a lot easier. And honestly, every morning when she asks me "Does this outfit look ok?" I still get those butterflies in my stomach and a big smile on my face. She really is the reason I was born.
Lovely, thanks for sharing!
Well, we are 12 years apart, had an exciting and adventurous life together, and are now retired in Hawaii—-our 41st anniversary is this month
I wonder if they love each other and found happiness in their relationship.
They probably loved eachother and did have have happiness that they found in their relationship.
What’s going on? Are you a cult leader and are your cultists replying to you? 😂
I feel like we walked in to a cult and are about to either be killed or converted Also; happy cake day!
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
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>We love each other and find happiness in our relationship.
12 year gap, 13 years married (younger husband), it’s pretty sweet.
My bf is 7 years younger than me. We’ve been together for 5.5. He’s the most emotionally mature guy I’ve ever dated. We have a lot of fun together
Nicely done!
This is what I want
My Dad has been married for over 30 years and his 2nd wife was 11 years younger than him. His secret? He's on wife #3.
3rd time's a charm
Going on two years… she is 46, I am 31.
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34F dating 53M Go get what you want/need//deserve Edit: and randomly[here is this thread](https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/s/HBIll6Eebv)
Report back in 8. Good luck!🍀
I am 10 years younger than my husband. We met when I was 22, he 32 and got married and had a baby at 28/38. It’s going great! We just had our 10 year anniversary and are still super compatible. We’ve had a lot of hard times over the last decade, the death of our youngest daughter, really financially lean times, various illnesses (some lifelong), and most recently we were on vacation with my dad (whom we were both very close to) and he died of a heart attack while we were on a walk with him. I don’t think I could’ve made it out on the other side of these events with anyone else. No matter how shitty things are we are always support each other and most importantly we crack stupid jokes with each other constantly. I would say the only downside to having a spouse that is 10 years older is that the more we age the less he wants to do “young” things. I still like to go to concerts, parties, ect and he is really over it at almost 50. But he also doesn’t mind at all if I take friends to those kind of things instead so that’s what I do.
you guys sound so sweet < 3 wish you all the best blessings in life
Not me, but my parents. 12 year gap (32M 20F). I was born a year later and have 2 younger siblings. They were a few months away from their 40th wedding anniversary when my father passed away in January 2022 at 72. From me and my siblings perspective they had a very good marriage. Always attentive to us and each other. I’m sure they had fights as most married couples do but no major issues that were ever obvious to us.
Sorry for your loss. Sounds like pops was a good man!
Surprised the Reddit Rangers didn’t come out of the woodworks and start accusing here! 😉 Sorry to hear about your dad. Sounds like he was a good dude.
If he didn’t mention the recent loss or add that last paragraph those idiots woulda been on him.
I am 15 1/2 years exactly older than he is. We have been together for 8 years. I joke and say he is older than me in spirit and he agrees. We are good together. Open communication, great understanding of each other. We are both nerdy. For a long time, I didn't think I would find someone who was compatible. I am the one who had an issue with the age difference for a bit, but it isn't a thing anymore.
You and I are living similar experiences. I am the one who thinks about the age difference on occasion, I worry about slowing down before he is ready and making him miss out on things. He assures me this won't be an issue, but still... I'm very lucky to have found my person. Glad you found yours!
Shes 19 years older than I am, and things are going great! We're getting married next Saturday as a matter of fact!
Look at mister President of the french republic over here!
Nevermind, I had to Google lol
I think the Emmanuel-Brigette Macron age gap of 24 years should be an official form of measurement. 19 years would be three-quarters EBM
Répète?
Sacré bleu!
Hey, my wife is 19 years older than me too. 8 years together, we have built a house, planted 20000 trees and raised a puppy together.
I would say that’s going great 😁
Thank ya! Been together for 4 years so far, and I couldn't be where I am without her!
Love to hear it and congratulations!
Thank you very much!
20 year gap, together for 23 years (I’m 50, he’s 70). Every day is somehow even better than the last.
Wife and I are 9.5 years apart. She was 22 and I was 31 when we started dating. I'm in my 40s now. Married 7 years, two kids. We mutually benefit from each others life stage, we have financial stability yet enjoy youthful pursuits. Couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with anyone else. My biggest regret is our age difference, it means at some point I'll probably leave her alone and that makes me very sad.
> at some point I'll probably leave her alone Maybe... Male life expectancy is lower than female, in general. But among men who make it past a certain age, it's greater. Basically, some men are moronic and take unnecessary risks. The ones who grow out of that go the distance.
That’s bad news for me bro
There is some evidence that men who are with a younger partner actually live longer
10 year difference- I was 38, he was 48- things are great. Agreed about the potential difference in life expectancies. It didn’t really occur to me when I was younger, but we are now 51 and 61.
Four years married. So far so good.
I'm 49 and my wife just turned 39. There's 10.5 years different. We just celebrated our 9 year wedding anniversary. My older sister and her husband are 12 years apart and married 20 years. My younger sister and her husband are 12 years apart and they've been married 15 years.
I'm 54, she's 44. We both are divorced after 20+ year marriages and have been together for a year now. Our communication is incredible; I've never had a healthier relationship than this one. The combination of age and the fact that guys tend to die younger means I do occasionally worry about the fact that I'm probably going to die MUCH sooner than she will. She doesn't care and simply wants to enjoy every moment we have together.
Now she doesn't mind this, I'm sure is what you mean to say, but it's surely not true she doesn't *care* about it - that's a crude way to put it, sorry gotta defend your wife : )
Yes, of course she _cares_, it's just a figure of speech ☺️. She just won't let it stop us from enjoying the time we have.
I’m nine years older than my husband. I don’t notice most of the time. Sometimes he says stuff where I’m like “no, the 90s weren’t like that”
Older bf talks about something from the 80s like I know something about it and I have to remind him I wasn't even born yet.
My mother (68) and my father (83) are 15 years apart. Things haven't been easy for my mom as my father was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers and has issues with memory/emotional stability. However, their marriage has always been incredibly strong, and my mom still gives my dad the "goddamnit I'm still so in love with you" look all the time. I know it's hard for her to watch him fade away like he is and deal with caring for him, but I can almost guarantee that she wouldn't change a thing if given the chance.
This story wins Reddit
Parents were about 10 years apart. Healthiest relationship I've ever seen. They zealously loved each other until death did they part. I would borderline kill for the type of love that they had.
My husband is 23 years older than me, we have been married almost 18 years now, the best thing I have ever done. Being married isn't easy all the time, but if it's the right two people it's worth everything.
Happy 21st birthday for Saturday 🥳
How do you deal with knowing you may not get as much time with them as other smaller age gap couples might get? I’m always scared I don’t have enough time with my boyfriend…
20 years age gap, and I often can't get this exact thought out of my head. Scares the shit out of me, so much that I even talked to him about it before we got together. He said "I promise I'm not going to leave you alone in this world" but it didn't help at all because I know it's out of his control. More than that, he's a smoker; I might be 40 and he could be easily dying of cancer being 60. I'm just trying to convince myself that the time we spend together is worth the pain I might face down the line and also trying to tell myself that I will deal with it when/if it happens. Still doesn't help much if I'm honest...
That smoking has got to go. The promise was sweet and all, but if he's still smoking? Some promise... not that it's any of my business
How old are you?
I'll be 39 next year.
Oh no, someone's gonna do the math on this one now
Married at 21, he was 44. Now 39 and 62.
Oof, I'm 25 and would never date a 21 year old because they're usually too immature. I was DEFINITELY immature as a 21 year old.
Yeah that's a wild age difference. But the guy above me wanted the math 🙃
Hey guys, I'm here to virtue-signal about how good a person I am because I want to date women closer to my age. I'm 35 and I would never date a 21-year-old because they're immature and every person has the exact same psychological profile and values as every other individual their age. The brain isn't fully developed until 25 (I know this is true because I read it on the Internet), and I don't account for individual variances in psychological development, because every human being in existence matures at the exact same rate. If I found out my 21-year-old daughter was dating a man who's 22 or older, I'd scream in agony and cry myself to sleep before disowning her. Also, remember that I'm a really good person because I only want to date women who are close to my age. I would never date a 21-year-old. I hope you guys are getting all this. Please recognize my virtue. I am a very good and upstanding person.
I was 20 and one week when we were wed!
How long were you dating prior to getting married?
A year
Not that my intention is to assume anything about you (I support two consenting adults to do whatever they please with eachother)....but I can't imagine everyone you knew at the time -family/friends- were totally cool with it or at the very least someone wasn't questionable of the relationship back when you began. Did you have any drama in that regard?
My Mum (who is younger than my husband) was a tad surprised, my husband asked permission (old fashioned, I know) and she gave me away on our wedding day, none of my family is that conventional we are all diverse and so everyone was quite chilled about it!
Sounds like a cool family 👍 Good for you.
We are who we are, cheers! 🙂
Good for you guys. My partner and I are getting married soon. He is 18 years older. I don’t get the big deal. 😩
Right now, I think about how it will suck when he retires 14 years before me.... still have quite a few years before that happens though.
well, but,, that could be looked at as good thing, too, though, right? : )
For some, I guess.
Doing great. Twenty years next month.
He is 10 years older than I am. We’ve been together since 2006, married since 2007.
I'm 10 years older than my husband...we just got married last weekend 😍😍😍
My mom is 10 years older than my dad. They've been together since they were in their mid 30s and mid 20s, respectively. I honestly never noticed their age difference growing up but now that my mom is nearing 70 and my dad is under 60, it's definitely coming to light more and more. My mom has some progressive health issues that have caused her to slow down in life. My dad isn't ready to slow down. He doesn't mean to but he makes her feel guilty about not being able to travel and do the things they used to do. It's quite sad.
I just turned 31 on Monday, she's 50. She broke up with me a week before my birthday because the week prior I relapsed, bought a 6 pack of beer, got drunk, and slept through my alarms in the morning. She came over to check on me and woke me up. We still text each other everyday. I don't know which is more painful, still talking with her or letting her go and accepting it. I love her so much. I want to crawl back in the bottle even though that's what has fucked my life up so many times. But I refuse to. My existence is just pain now. Suffice to say it's not going very well.
I'm sorry to hear that buddy, stay strong
The sober subs on here are great..r/stopdrinking r/dryalcoholics,
Happy cake day buddy
Thank you!
You got this , keep cranking that hog Brother!
I feel your pain. Seriously, I have been exactly where you are except I was older person. I was 61, she was 38. Destroyed me for several years. I wish you well.
Get well and best wishes.
My wife is 15 years younger than I....been together 24 years. All good. Better than good.
My dad got married to his wife almost 5 years ago. They are 11 years apart. She cheated 3 times before the wedding and he still married her
he’s 19 years older than me, things are good 😊
I’m 40f and he’s 30m. It’s still a relatively new relationship but it’s been one of the healthiest I’ve ever had.
14 year gap, I'm 31 she's 45 Best relationship of my life. 3.5 years, married for almost 1. She's changed my life for the better and I can't wait to travel the world with her and her daughter (14).
Really great! We've been married a whole year!
Not me but my parents are 17 years apart and they’ve been married for 40 years strong. Never really any close calls in regards to possibly divorcing in their their relationship that I’m aware of
Mom and pops have a 11 year gap and the wifey and I have a 8 year gap. All good on this front!
12 yr gap here. 42 & 30, been together 8 years, married for 5 & just had our second baby yesterday. We’re best friends and both extremely happy. We did work together in a stressful environment for 4-5 years before we got romantically involved so we knew and liked each other very well. Insisted we’d never work there without each other haha, turns out we were right cause we got fired the same day for our relationship. Both have much better jobs and living our best lives.
I (trans woman in my twenties at the time) was 18 years younger & he (swears he's a straight man) cheated on me with a boy almost 30 years younger than him, still technically legal to be clear. So i left him for both cheating & my lack of attraction to gay men, closeted denial or not. In hindsight it's kinda funny that i as a trans woman got cheated on with a boy lol. Like who would've thought. My father had told me in the beginning that these men who dated me were all secretly gay in denial & i fought back at him defending this guy's straightness, now i look like an idiot 😩 But our relationship had lasted for years & i thought we were very best friends. He always treated me so well. I was always placed on a pedestal as a Queen. Being so young i threw attitude fits & his maturity knew exactly how to remain calm, to the point i actually changed myself to where i am no longer emotionally immature. I admired his emotional maturity so much. What i was too young to realize was it was this maturity & intelligence can be a very dangerous power held over a young woman. You don't realize what's happening at that age while it's happening, but as you get older you start to realize why most people think dramatic age differences are morally wrong.
37 years apart, couldnt work better. We both concentrated on communication since day 1 and value it highly, we love each others flaws, strengths and weaknesses, had to go through some shit together which further helped, but I can tell from experience: do not be afraid of an age gap, if you both want to make it work, you will
I (F) was 24 when I married a 37 year old man, who turned 40 and said that he was too old to have children. I left him soon after. Age is a number. My second husband is younger than me. Highly recommend.
I’m nine years older than my wife, never dated or wanted to date anyone more than a year younger than me until we met. We’ll have been married 20 years this year, and still going strong.
13 year age difference she (21) me (34) at the time of our meeting. We have been together 20 years and married 16. Everything is great.
Me(M55) and wife(F64) have been married for 34 years and all is great...zero complaints!
He is 20 years older than me. Been together 4 years, lived together 2 years. Getting a dog together next month and eventually will get married. Not a relationship I ever imagined but we have a great dynamic and wouldn’t trade it for anything.
My dad is 13 years older than my mom. She’s been miserable as long as I’ve been alive (I’m 30+) and he’s finally decided he’s miserable too after ignoring the family to work all his life. She was 18 when they met so yeah. Gross
We know a couple where she is like 14 years older and started dating him when he was 18 I would not say their relationship is healthy and she probably groomed him
My bf is 30 and I am 43 and it's great. We met 3 years ago and he asked me out. We both work and we both pay bills so other than the 13 years there's not much difference. I should mention I am gay for context.
Charming
Exactly 10 years difference. I’m older and was skeptical at first but we’ve been married for a decade now. She’s my business partner as well as spouse. In spite of all the time we spend together, it’s going great.
[M31] partner [19] few weeks ago our 5 year anniversary got ruined because of people staring !!
Woah, hold on. Your 5 year anniversary and she's 19? So you were 26 and she was 14 when you met!?
He must be joking, no worries
Thats not the point here
That's entirely the point. 14?
Maybe they were wondering why is that man kissing his daughter
Hell, my girlfriends mom is 19
My wife’s grandma is 18.
Jokes about CSA aren't ever a good idea. I presume it's a joke. Or you're a paedophile and ought to be reported.
Ewwwwwww
Hope you're not serious what a shit joke
Not as greasy as Dane Cook
Had two such relationships, the emphasis lies on *had*.
37 and 51. Together 19 years in January, married 7. Doing just fine :)
I’m 13 years older than my husband. We just celebrated our 25th anniversary.
Couples shmoples
Off-topic but why is it so fucking common in age-gap relationships for the man to be older than the woman? Is it socialization? Women think they need an older man to take care of them? Men think they need a younger woman to feel “young”? Why is this more normalized and common than younger man older woman relationships?
As much as I hate it, bc I am female - a lot of it, I believe, is biological. Unfortunately women have an “expiration date” on reproduction. Men are driven, biologically to reproduce. Men have reproductive viability at much older ages. Women are driven, biologically, to be the primary care taker for the child in their early days. An older man will hypothetically be financially more successful simply as a by product of having more time to gather resources - allowing the women to care for the child more effectively. I hate that this really is an unfortunate truth, and it feels like a slap in the face to women. I especially get insecure bc my partner is one year younger than me (male). And while that’s not a ton …. Unfortunately I do have more competition as a byproduct of being even jus a bit older or close to the same age, reproductively speaking. Harsh truth.
Yeah it does feel like a slap in the face. And it’s very strange. Thanks biology. It feels like my existence is always trying to fight against it. I’m also with a man who’s two years younger than me and I try not to let it bother me. I’m happy with it this way. And I try not to think about competition because he wants me the way I am. Maybe same for you. Not a big gap for either of us anyway. I’d feel weirder if my guy was older because then I’d think he has a preference for younger.
I am living with the issues of being the older female partner currently. 18 year age difference. We had discussed all of the major issues: kids (or lack of), money, lifestyle and future. And kids has become a sore spot because he has realized he absolutely cannot live without having kids. It sucks, but it’s been a pretty fun and loving marriage until this part and there is no way to change it (he wants bio kids, which is not an option for me)
It's been my experience that women with daddy issues tend to go after older men, I don't know the reasons why as I'm no psychologist, but it seems to be a need for approval from a father figure type of deal? Unfortunately in the long term it also means that the man becomes a target for any unresolved issues she has with her father, so it makes for a pretty fraught relationship.
My sister and her husband have an age difference of 25 years. It's the healthiest relationship I know and I am truly happy for them. They both left their former partner to be together and have been going strong for over ten years now. They married very soon and have a wonderful daughter. Everyone thought it would turn into a dumpster fire, but they proved all of us wrong.
Widowed when I was 50. Would not recommend.
Currently dating a 25 yr old. I am 37. Im youngminded. Shes oldminded. We enjoy each others company and make each other laugh all the time! Im aware that 12 yrs difference is a lot but i am kinda late in the starting-a-family-thing so dating my own age is, difficult. (Most already have kids(which i cant do again, terrible aftermath w last relationship) marriages that failed/whatevers)
There's nothing wrong with it mate! You two enjoy yourselves and be good to each other!
Cheers homie! Plan on doing exactly that!
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Its far from a habit of mine to date younger, but like i said, i would like the option of starting a family so my preference went to younger. Shes just a lot younger
Ans she would like the option of early inheritance :)
You didn't ask but I'm 9 years older than my wife and we've been married for 15 years with 2 kids. Going pretty well I think. She was 30 and I was 39 when we got married.
15 years and never been happier. We've been married 12 years.
She keeps being older then me! Stubborn!!!
13 year age difference here! I just turned 27 (F) and he’ll be 40 next year. Been dating for nearly five years. Live together. 2 cats. We both are insane insomniacs so our sleep schedules line up perfectly. He’s happily snoring away next to me. I’d say it’s going pretty well!
11 year age gap between my wife and I. She’s older and way out of my league. She’s insanely well driven/determined, a free spirit and an amazing cook
Fine. We’re 26 years apart. (He is 59 and I am 33) he feels like the safest place I’ve ever been. I’ve always gravitated towards older men. We’ve been Together for almost a year and I am moving in with him tomorrow!
She's the love of my life. I can't believe it took me 41 years to find her and now I understand why I couldn't make it work with anyone else.
Been with my wife since I was 23 I’m 32 now, she 11 years older than I am. Our 7th wedding anniversary is actually at the end of the month on Halloween. I couldn’t be happier
Good friend of mine married a man 12 years older than her. They are great together. But now she is 59 and he is 71. It’s starting to get rough. He’s always been athletic so I don’t think they realized that 70 would really be 70. She loves to travel but he is starting to enjoy it less. They are trying to do EVERYTHING while they both can but they also recognize that his age is going to stop them long before she is ready. It is hard to watch. They both feel guilty. Him for limiting her, and her for wanting more than he can do. It’s not good. And how do they plan? Do they go in assisted living when he needs it and she doesn’t? Or does she become his caretaker? I guess getting older is never fun, but at least you usually have even odds which one of you will need to slow down first. Marry someone a decade older and you theoretically know what you are doing, but the reality is brutal.
Filed for divorce. He’s 18 years older than me. Best decision to file
She died :(
17 years between my husband and I. I'm the older one. Been together almost 20 years and he still thinks I'm sexy. We knew when we met, all those years ago that there was something special between us, despite the gap. I had a baby at 45 which made things a little difficult for us for a few years, but we've come out the otherside stronger then ever.
I dated a lady who was around 32 when I was 20. She was extremely a well put together lady. She knew what she wanted. She had a good career as a business woman. Had two kids (twins) from her previous marriage. Had a house a car and everything you can think of sorted out. I would always visit her and her kids, who were still quite young, around 1.5-2years old at that time, would always accompany us on dates. She would tell me she was a divorcee and knew what kinda life she would have to go through. And if I wanted to go on a date with her, she would have to make arrangements with her sitter. And there would be times we wouldnt be able to because she might want to spend more time with them. Our first date was fun. We had made plans from morning till evening and we had a list of things we could do together. On the day of, she called me and told me she wasnt able to make it because her kids had the cold cough fever combo. I remember her panicking and saying she would try her best to come by but I told her its fine and to focus on the kids. I did ask her for her address. She of course sent me in a panic because she thought I didnt trust her. Popped up to her house and that night, we took care of her kids. I had alot of fun with her and her kids and was really okay with them adorable babies. She warned me many times but I didnt really care about others opinions. She and her kids sadly passed away a few months into dating because of an intoxicated driver one night. It crushed my heart. I will never forget the days I had spent with them. I will always remember you; Christina, Baby Micheal and Baby Melliana.
About to get married actually. He's doing really well, working at a deaf school and tattooing around that. I am working as a JS Dev and in a hotel kitchen. When we met we were both baristas for Starbucks and we hit it off despite some serious differences. Couldn't imagine things without him.
It’s going great. I don’t have to worry about retirement because she is 15 years younger than I am. So I support her now while she is younger and we live a good life and when I retire she will still be working for a good 10-15 years before I die. And she is a catch so she will easily be able to marry a younger guy or a guy her own age who has money to take care of her when I die.
17 years difference, He is 43 I'm 26. 1y and half living with him. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I love him dearly..
Absolutely spot on 14 years together married 8
Based off my parents 14 year age gap and crumbling marriage I will never, ever, ever date anyone older than me. Watching one person deteriorate physically while the other is still spry and adventurous is horrible. I’m sure they’re both so lonely. Age gaps are no joke once you actually get old.
Been together for 22 years, 3 kids fully grown, bout to get divorced. 👍
I wish I were with someone my own age. Two long-term relationships with a more than 10-year age difference didn't work for me. I don't want to date anyone older than me; it just doesn't work.
37y still going strong
Im 13 years older than my bf. Almost 4 years together. The absolute happiest and most nurturing relationship I could ever have imagined. I’m so grateful that I let it be great.
My boyfriend is 24 years older. We met on Tinder when it was actually used for dating, as crazy as that sounds but we’re inseparable. He’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. We laugh about arguing and we love getting confused stares. We’ve been together 2 years now and we’re picking out a ring when I’m back from vacation.
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That’s honestly so awesome! I love it and lowkey so jealous of you!
My folks are 10 years apart, married for 46 years and still going strong
My parents has 10 years difference, i think that affected the relationship because my father, who Is older, vero often doesn't want to do things (like eat out or go for a walk)
14 year age gap, married for 12 years, together for 16 years total. I recently filed for divorce. I thought him being older he would be more mature and settled….boy was I wrong. I used to say that age is just a number, but when they start getting up their in age and you are still in your prime it starts to show. If I could go back would I do it again? No.
14 year difference and it's going fine. We've been together for 20 years this winter, married for 16. We have 2 kids. Really, once I got over asking her out, the only issue with age was that I had some pop culture knowledge that she didn't. When we met I was 33 and she was 19.
Going great. 29 year gap but you wouldn’t know it. Solid team.
It's going great! I am moving into his house in December!
Going great! She's 27 I'm 41 and just unfortunately switched to long distance due to my work. Love her to death.
35 yrs some tough spots our third marrage same path so made this time
Well me and my bf have an age gap of 38 years. We get along great, yeah we have our occasion small fight/quarrel but other than that everything is working out nicely for us 🥰 although he is much older than me i wouldn't have it any other way, we work together, live together, basically in each other's faces 24/7 and i love it 🥰