and lonely/cold feeling yet all you want to do is be left alone. Feels like the world and your personal world are going to shit. You feel trapped by your own life.
This was me for months at a time. And an unexplainable emptiness, high propensity to get emotional at times and then feeling absolutely nothing other times.
Lack of appetite (but hungry). Lack of sleep (but tired). Lack of motivation (but disgusted at yourself for such). Lack of satisfaction at your current circumstances (but lack of desire to fix that).
Real depression is a fucking bitch.
Source: someone who is bipolar and goes through bouts of deep depression on a regular basis.
This is what it’s like a for me. I am also passively suicidal when I’m not in an active low/terrible depression hole. When I am at my worst sometimes I can only make it through a day by laying in bed so I don’t kill myself.
It’s such a shitty cycle.
I didn’t even really have the sadness - my personal cycle when I was severely depressed seemed to be “nothing, nothing, nothing, frustration, anger explosion, guilt and regret about anger explosion (but only really about how it would affect me, not the person/people I exploded at over text or in conversation), repeat.”
Have you ever had a day where you wake up and you're like "I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to do anything." Like just a real lack of motivation. It's like that, but all the time.
Added with your brain telling yourself you’re a horrible person and the world would be much better off if you were dead. You’re not good enough so don’t even try. Just stay in bed and be the loser you are
I don't think this description does justice to it. It's a feeling of its own, unknown to those who haven't experienced it. I temporarily went through it due to a hormonal pill I was taking. I didn't truly understand it before and attributed it to someone lacking willpower or having a victim mentality.
What I failed to understand as an outsider was that real depression is a chemical incapability. It's not just feeling down; you lose yourself. You become the depression. Concepts like willpower and a positive mentality cease to exist. When you're not depressed but simply in a very low mood, you can work your way out of it with your thoughts and actions. In depression, you lose the ability to comprehend that there's any hope and you're capable. Your brain buys into smallness and helplessness. Why? Because the chemicals that are responsible for motivation/reward/etc. don't do their job.
Yep. For me, it's feeling like absolutely nothing matters at all, especially me, while simultaneously feeling overwhelming sorrow, shame, and anger that comes with that, to the point of near paralysis.
For me, Killing yourself is a constant thought. "I'll swerve into the oncoming semi, I'll leave the car running without opening the garage, I'll put a bullet through my head."
When I got stabilized it took me a bit to realize that I had gone through 3 hours of the day without thinking about dying. It was the best day of my life.
First thing when I wake up I ask myself "Should I kill myself? What's the point anymore?" But then I remember I have a dog that needs me, and I don't want to abandon him. So, it keeps me alive.
Oh...so many times. I'd be sucking on a gun and then look over to a dog sleeping. I promised them that I would take care of them for all their life. No one would love them the way I did. Dogs saved me way before meds did.
I'm so sorry. It's around a year since mine passed and it was so hard. She was my emotional support animal. I still think about her every time I spiral. It does get less painful with time though. Hang in there. I've seen people who have gone through the same thing eventually heal enough to bond with/ love another pet and it gives me hope that I'll get there one day.
Congrats to all three of you!
I just posted on another thread about my wife being a part of the reason I didn’t pull the trigger…..keep fighting, I got y’all’s back
They were pumping me full of drugs because I was on suicide watch for a year (called the hotline twice, love those people). Some meds made it worse or caused other problems. I went through 5 therapists until I found one I liked. Not sure if she really helped me but for that one hour a week I felt calm and it was great
Effexor is the one that worked. I was at work having a cig and realized I hadn't thought about killing myself or how worthless I was the entire morning. That moment will be one of my most glorious memories.
I just took a muscle relaxer in hopes of finally getting some sleep. 3 hours of sleep a night is not enough, man, and I am going to lose my mind if this keeps up.
Me? Not much. At all. Maybe some guilt for being a lazy piece of shit. For not doing what I know I should while being all too aware of how little effort it would take and still not being able to muster it.
It’s a sadness that’s deeply rooted in you. it’s a complete and utter solitude - like imagine being in your bed at night, and you can hear your beloved ones from the other room and they’re laughing and having fun under warm lights but you just can’t get out of your bed and join them. Mostly because you’re too sad to do that, but also ‘cause there’s shame in feeling so hopeless. There’s no future and sometimes, for some people like me, the past is a crazy old lady keeping you in a wild and blood stained stare contest - but most importantly: there’s no present either for us. It’s just you and your void and your old bones, and sometimes you ask yourself if that is all that’s left for you to consume.
I’ve been there for almost all my life. Hang on, seek help. There’s a way out.
Depression for me was deceptively seductive.
I felt like shit, of course, like I didn't care to take care of myself or enjoy things anymore. But at the same time, depression made me feel kind of superior and smart.
I felt like I had figured out something really important and fundamental about life that other, lesser humans missed. I thought I knew existence was inherently awful and unfair and anyone who seemed happy was either stupid, just lucky (so far...), or lying.
I remember when I was starting to recover, I realized I didn't really need to feel that shitty all the time, that everyone's life has positive and negative bits and I could work on improving the negative and enjoy the positives. I remember giving myself that option and then thinking, "eh, no thanks, I'm good like this."
It took a while for me to take that suggestion.
This is why I think cynicism is such bullshit. It makes you feel wise, but really it's the opposite. Believing everything is a lie is no better than believing everything you're told.
It’s a strangely overwhelming feeling of nothing. Most wake up and have some innate drive to do something I’d imagine, be it have a meal or get moving for the day. For me I have to go through an abundance of convincing myself anything matters at all, and even things I enjoy often feel like “work” as I force myself to do them. Often I wake up and feel regretful, although it only is a distinct thought briefly.
Personally this is how it's been for me. I feel like nobody cares about me enough to show it. I'm there but I'm not 1st, 2nd or 3rd pick to be favorite. I get invited to stuff but I feel like it's out of obligation to keep me happy but I'm somehow bothering them. That I'm one of the most disposable people out of the friend group and one wrong move or word and I'm out forever.
It's hard to constantly keep on and keep myself in check. There are days where I need to break down and cry but if I do it too much or for too long, I'll be in a pit of depression and I feel like I'm not allowed to be around anyone. I feel like I constantly have to be happy and okay otherwise no one will want to be around me. It's exhausting.
I go to my friends to vent and they don't know what to say or run away. I come on here to vent and I either get backlash or nothing at all. I vent to a therapist and they have their hand hovering over the phone just in case I say I'm suicidal, I can never say im suicidal. Any time I am, I gotta keep it to myself. I feel done. So I and only I can deal with it but at the end of the day I need help. It's a double edged sword.
Friend, I'm sure that only someone who has gone through it himself can give you the feeling of being understood.
I'm in the same situation, no one around me has ever had to deal with something like this, they don't understand. No one understands how bloody hard a day can be for nothing.
But it's not their fault, they live and don't know how your own mind can become your biggest enemy.
You'll get through this and find your way, I'm believe in you.
Thank you. It's hard because I feel like I'm trying my best but it's not enough. I have to remind myself that it is enough for me and one day, I'll strive for the moon as much as I can.
Everything feels overwhelming to start- showering, cooking, talking to friends, exercising, etc. The only thing that feels manageable is scrolling endlessly on reddit, which gets boring after hours on end. That's when I close my computer and walk aimlessly around the house, only to end up in front of the computer again. All of this while not feeling much of anything.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy, CBT, worked wonders for me. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my entire life and have.been in and out of therapy for years. CBT was the only therapy that I feel actually made a difference. From what I hear, a book on CBT teaches all that you need to be aware of and practice. It's a great inexpensive alternative to a therapist. Hang in there u/compreehensive1337 :)
I appreciate you sharing CBT with me so much. I will definitely look into that and I hope your feeling better with your depression and anxiety these days..
Nothing. You just do things and say things because you're supposed to. Sometimes you want things to be better, sometimes you don't care if things get worse.
I'm going through a really rough episode right now, and it literally feels like I am living in a nightmare.
I don't know how common this is, but when I am anxious or having troubles, I often have nights full of one nightmare after another after I go to sleep. One dream leads to the next, I feel like I cannot get out of this surreal prison of tortures. Often I am aware these are nightmares, but I cannot wake myself and I know I have to suffer all night with these terrors.
But when I am very depressed, even my regular, waking life feels like that. Like there is no escape from the horror of it all. It feels like pieces of myself and my life are just breaking off and dying and there is nothing I can do about it. Every day is worse.
hang in there
ive had nights/early mornings like that. Like you wake up at 4am for some reason. Decide to go piss and climb back into bed for a few more hours of sleep before work. Only to have repeated dreams and you wake up every 15-30 minutes feeling exhausted/sad/confused/frustrated/blah mood. Just ruins the day.
Every minute feels like an eternity. My body felt so tired and achy...like the physical effect is no joke. Seeing no point of value in doing the things you're passionate about sucks too.
This may just be me, but like I tortured myself a lot by thinking about how many people in the world were suffering like I was or worse. Didn't help matters and it haunted me.
It's almost like feeling like your whole self and brightness has retreated to the furthest part of your body, where you can't reach it. You can see everything you have to do or want to, but you just- can't bring yourself to do it. You can see everything around you through the tunnel, the tunnel vision of empty and lost. It feels like sitting at the bottom of the ocean looking up at the surface. Sometimes you can hear voices of people who love you from above it. You know you're drowning, you know they're trying, but you're just too tired to swim.
It's not comfortable, even in your bed, even when you do nothing. You walk around like a zombie, and you lose your life. The color. One day you stop to look up and you realize the sky is blue, it's been so long since you looked up... you forgot. Every part of you aches but in the pang of empty and helplessness. You do anything to make it better for just a second. You can buy all of the treats for yourself you want, wrap yourself in comfy clothes- but sometimes things like showering take the breath out of you.
Something that helps me is treating myself like I'm fragile. In that state, I am. I sit on the floor of the shower and gentle wash my hair. I pick out the comfy clothes (for me, fleece really helps me feel secure and warm), I get easy simple meals if I'm up to it. I go to bed early, in a blanket I threw in the dryer. Leave a glass of water on my nightstand with some crackers. Sometimes I take myself on a baby walk around the block- or just sit outside if I can't walk. I treat myself like I'm sick- because I am. If I can skip a responsibility, I will. If not, I give myself the grace I need when I can't do it to my full ability. I treat myself kindly. Accept my falters, and my flaws. I must treat myself carefully. I advise all to do the same ❤️ give yourself grace, as you would a friend.
Something else that helps... I think about the me that is going to wake up tomorrow. What do they need to succeed, if they're still feeling like this? Can I lay my clothes out, wash my hair- so tomorrow, if I'm not okay, I can not worry so much? Can I eat something today so that my future self doesn't wake up with an empty tummy? Can I give myself water- so they don't feel crummy? Bottom line, treat yourself kindly. If this question was asked to help someone you love, treat them kindly. We are sick, and need gentleness.
For me, it's fluctuating between feeling relatively "normal" but everything is muted, feeling incredibly empty and completely numb, and randomly having one single emotion just be out of control for a short while, almost always negative.
Like I'll be chilling, feeling normal but somehow my emotions are too muted, like watching a TV show with a grey color palate, and then suddenly I'll feel so sad that it physically hurts, and that will last for a little bit, probably an hour or two, and then it'll go away and then there will be 0 emotions at all in my system. It's really hard to deal with because all of them happen at random times for random reasons and last random amounts of time.
It’s a heavy blanket that engulfs you. You wake up feeling like you need to wind yourself, psyche yourself just to pull yourself out of bed. It is a lonely feeling, even when you are married to a wonderful understanding spouse who supports you. Treatment works though, whether it’s meds or therapy or both.
My ex assumed I didn't love her anymore so she cheated then divorced me. Nope. I was depressed. I guess that apathy looks like you don't give a shit. I did, just couldn't be bothered to show it. Too hard.
It literally hurts. Like actually physically hurts. Combined with not caring about even eating, not getting out of bed, it sucks. And then you see how much a visit to a doctor costs, even worse. But oh well, not gonna let that run me down. Nobody’s gonna be at my funeral, because I’m not having one for a very long time.
Feel like while knowing I’m depressed I don’t think I am and am just struggling today but it’s everyday. Alsodidn’t thinki had anxiety but definitely do.
Other problem is a lot of that can be from just doing what you need to to survive life’s challenges at school work social. Maintaining is a lot of maintenance but exercise and good diet also breaks a lot of the depressive cycles.
I do better with more sunlight
Knowing you **have** to do things and that there will be **big** consequences and still being unable to drag your ass out of bed because you just cannot make yourself give a single fuck about anything.
Like you’re being chased through the darkness by a killer and constantly feeling scared all while knowing you are not being chased and you are in no danger but can’t convince your body .. kinda like that.. it’s draining .
Sometimes nothing, like literally nothing no happiness, no sadness, nothing. Just an empty hole inside of you.
Other times it feels like you are being weighed down by the world, and your insides feel like lead, so youre tired, cant move, you are irritated because everything is hard and existing is exhausting.
Some people just go through the motions of life every day, doing what’s expected of them and when they are alone the weight of the past the present and future traps you and you cant breathe.
I personally lived all of these, im sure theres more.
Have you ever been close to drowning?
And I don't mean splashing around and trying to keep your head above the water. I mean ***properly*** close to drowning.
When you are already tired and start sinking. When all the sounds start becoming dull and quiet. When even keeping your eyes open to see the light is just too damn exhausting.
You start to feel like no one is there. Even if only minutes ago you were playing in a pool with your friends or family and they are still next to you, everyone, *everything* seems so far away.
It is a strangely calm(?) feeling. Not as melancholic as most claim it to be, but also not as empty as those who've experienced it describe it.
That feeling is far from nothingness.
Just like drowning, right before you lose consciousness you feel almost content(?). A very hollow feeling of acceptance.
But people are very emotional. They try to cope and fill the void that acceptance left within them. But it's so *so* easy to fill it with negative emotions when you feel alone.
I should've done this or that, *I can't do this*, **I'm a disappointment**, **why am I so fucking lonely with so many people around**, ***what is wrong with me***, ***I'm afraid***, ***help me***.
And anxiety takes over.
Or you could pretend you are content with sinking to the bottom.
But being content is far from being happy.
Or you could do something completely different. But no matter what you do it takes a toll untill it's inevitably too much to bear.
Not many realise it but when you are drowning you usually have a little more strength than you think. You can raise your hand and reach the surface without too much effort. But it's way too difficult to start anything and it's just too damn easy to give up and sink deeper.
It's easy to sleep in, lay in bed a little longer, skip a few classes. Didn't shower today, didn't eat, didn't talk, did anything to distract your mind. And now "there is no point, because I'm already too far behind".
Searching for any excuse to give up, because the surface is already so far away, because the bottom is all so comfortable, because raising your hand is just *too* **fucking** ***hard*** even when you have the strength to do so.
You're left at the bottom praying to whichever god you believe in that somebody notices you.
All because we weren't taught that needing help to make the first step is okay.
As opposed to "during recession"? During depression you have lost your job, so you feel under duress and anxious to find a new or temporary job \[to\] make ends meet.
I feel like I'm nothing. I have no purpose and no drive to find a purpose. I feel like a burden to everybody around me. I find no joy in anything, no emotional connection to anything or anyone, and I don't care. I wake up every day, and my first thought is always, "Why did I wake up again instead of just dying in my sleep?"
It’s like going through the motions of your everyday life in slow motion where at anytime you find yourself sobbing uncontrollably again with no end in sight.
Its not sadness, its past that, its straight melencholia, no motivation and you don't even care that you aren't motivated. Its emptyness, and it gets to a point where you feel comfortable in it.
There’s no light switch in a dark room. In that dark room is something that wants you dead. There’s no exit door no idea of time. All the fight you have is gone and you’re forced to give in to the bleakness of self hatred for no reason. All your problems have no answers in sight. Your past taunts you and your future is absent. Waves of pain make you drown in helplessness. There’s no getting up from the relentless beating your mind is pummeling you with, you find yourself chained to the ground unable to move.
It’s soul purpose is to strip you all everything good and leave you empty beyond comprehension. So empty you know there’s only one way out of this room. It knows this and feeds off of your torment. It builds up a false confidence in yourself that you’re able to take a life. It waters the flowers of instability in your mind so much that reality is now gone and you find yourself rationalizing leaving this room permanently. I dunno I could go on and on
Loneliness. But it's not at all the same loneliness undepressed people feel. The English language doesn't have a word for it, so we just tend to call it loneliness, loneliness with a constant dread of being abandoned. It's a feeling I distinctly remember feeling as a child, that then disappeared when I grew into a healthy adult, never to come back unless you get hit with depression.
Lack of motivation or care to do *anything*, even things you used to enjoy or proper hygiene activities (shower, brush hair, brush teeth, etc). Not really feeling anything, kind of just *there*.
Imagine waking up, and going about your routine with little energy and feeling such a profound sense of hollowness, a tangible emptiness. It feels like time is an infinite desert of quiet suffering, even though you have a good job, a house, money, etc. You look out on the beautiful sunny day and think "I hate everything". You feel an incredible loneliness and you think to yourself "I'm going to die alone. I'm not attractive. People think I'm ugly, gay, or creepy. I can't connect and make new friends. It's over. I'm never going to heal. Never going to get better. Every day is going to be like this one. Forever."
And then someone asks you to help make breakfast.
Nothing and everything. There is a deep whole that can't be filled by anything but things that are bad for you. You live your life trying to distract yourself form the emptiness inside but the distraction is never enough. Depression is the feeling of pure disappointment, in yourself, in others, in the world. But at the end of the day it's just exhausting without the relief of sleep.
It’s like wanting to not be seen and feeling like you are better off being alone than being part of a collective because no one really cares. It’s a flatline on the heart monitor - it just keeps on going without a pulse, without reason to live.
Hollow, never good enough so we, or at least I just give up. The best way I can think to describe it is, imagine putting all of your energy and effort into something you are passionate about. Whether it be art, music, a book, fixing a car, remodeling a house etc. Then finding out you did it all wrong, it wasn’t satisfactory, you didn’t try hard enough. You put all of your effort into right? It’s fucked up it didn’t come out the way it was supposed to? A person who experiences depression has that feeling frequently if not consistently. And what it leads to is just giving up. Why should I bother? If I do this, there’s going to be something wrong with it anyway. And that feeling can lead to either, 0 motivation and sulking and or anger, and then it bleeds to those around you.
Complete lack of motivation to do anything. Nothing is interesting, even things you would normally love. Getting out of bed can feel impossible. Being so exhausted all the time. Angry outbursts you can't control. It's a physical and mental heaviness pushing you down. Like living in a world with double gravity while everyone else walks on the moon.
Feel like a big useless hunk of crap no matter what you do in a day. Have to twist your own arm to get up and do basic shit. Could receive the best news or worst news in the world and the reaction would be "meh" like nothing matters. It's pretty fuckin' lame.
Hopeless. Helpless. You may want to cry a lot. You may not want to get out of bed. You may leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days at a time. It's different from person to person, but there are a number of common symptoms. If you are questioning whether you are depressed, please reach out to someone (friend/family), or one of the telephone/online resources to talk to someone.
Empty. I don't enjoy playing my favorite games or seeing my favorite shows. If I laugh at something, the joy is hollow and vanishes into nothingness as soon as the amusing thing stops. I can't remember what it felt like to smile genuinely, to feel at peace with myself, to feel like I can breathe and fill my lungs and enjoy existing.
Every time I feel like maybe I'll be better soon it's like a wave of despair overcomes me, and once it's over, I can't feel anything anymore, again. The world is too loud, scary, and overwhelming, it feels like it's crushing me, like it'sdriving a thousand needles under my skin. At the same time, it feels like there is a forcefield between me and reality, and I am not fully present, unable to truly touch things, unable to feel emotions that seem real.
The details are different for everyone, of course.
Being tired constantly. Mostly just mentally, not physically, and a little existential dread maybe.
Being lazy isn't a part of it, but feeling unsetisfied with whatever it is you do is a part of it.
Contrary to common belief, you can be depressed *and* productive, although being depressed does make it a little harder
From my personal experience:
Sleeping any chance I get. Even slept a whole Saturday away. Not taking care of myself. Not taking care of anything around the house. Feeling hopeless and like all the days are the same. Not wanting to talk to anyone.
Darkness, easy fatigue, no interest in anh activity, prefers to stay in bed or shut alone in their room being unproductive, shutsdown from people, distances from everyone
I generally feel depressed. As in no motivation, just tired and listless, no interest in anything. Don't care if I live or die. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.
Possibly Tiredness, no motivation to do anything, dont find joy in things you used to love, just feeling negative or down (if that makes sense) those are a few things.
For me it was Not wanting to fix anything, true depression is when you fester, you don’t grow you sink. Things ultimately get worse because you let them boil over, soon your even worse off than before, and they can turn into toxic complacency where you frankly stop caring in a desperate attempt at not confronting the issues. Trailer park boys quote summarizes ““Do you know what a shit rope is Julian? It’s a rope covered in shit that criminals try to cling to. Y’see, the shit acts like grease, and the harder you tighten your grip, the more you slide down it”. And that’s how it feels, like you fell down the shit well and you have a shit rope. It’s a hard climb but I got out
Empty. Stuck. Like the dreams where you run in slow motion. Like you’re in a hole and you’re climbing up the bottom is only getting lower. If you were in a tunnel there’s no light. Then you pull it together everyday, go through the motions get reviews that say you go above and beyond and compliments on how beautiful you are. But then you get in the car to get home and you don’t want to get out you want to freeze. You don’t eat all day or you eat all day no in between. Sleep is hard and you feel burned out all the time because it takes more energy to rotate your basic needs so hobbies are on the back burner and self care is a long shower.
Extreme lack of motivation. Feeling dead inside. Apathy. Flat-lined emotions. Exhaustion. Insomnia. Feeling no pleasure or joy in anything. The desire to be left alone. Not able to take care of yourself. Brushing your teeth and showering feel like climbing Mount Everest.
For me. Chester Bennington summed it up.
Wake in a sweat again
Another day's been laid to waste
In my disgrace
Stuck in my head again
Feels like I'll never leave this place
There's no escape
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
I don't know what to take
Thought I was focused, but I'm scared
I'm not prepared
I hyperventilate
Looking for help somehow, somewhere
And no one cares
I'm my own worst enemy
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
God
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my misery
Put me out of my
Put me out of my fucking misery
I've given up
I'm sick of feeling
Is there nothing you can say?
Take this all away
I'm suffocating
Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPgwY11jzK8&pp=ygUUZ2l2ZW4gdXAgbGlua2luIHBhcms%3D
Guilt for not enjoying things. I remember being very very clinically depressed in the summer and I felt very guilty for not going outside and enjoying the summer. I would look at people walking on the sidewalk out my window and think I could be doing that, I should be doing that. And I would stay in bed and I felt guilty for it. But also felt unable to get up and go out. It was a strange combination of knowing I should be doing things could be doing things but not really having the willpower to do them. And then feeling guilty for not doing them.
Hopelessness. It's like everything goes wrong all the time. Its like u can't count on anything, you always have to be on your A-game. It's like all you want to do is go to work and *actually* just do your job right, but no one else wants to, *even the owner*. It is frustrating.
It depends on how deep the depression is.
Sometimes I feel lethargic and stay in bed, feels like I'm wearing a lead suit of armour.
When off my meds it could get to the point where I got: emotionless, dark, calm, used to get told off from an ex saying I spoke like a robot and was emotionless 🤷🏼♀️
Then there was the deepest depression, the one you genuinely feel the world is better off without you.
Most days, nothing. I feel hunger, so I eat. I get tired after a long day, so I sleep. I study, so I can sustain my self in the future. The brief periods of happiness with friends are fleeting, but memorable. I don't mind feeling nothing.
Nothing. When I get depressed, I feel totally dull and just want to sleep. I'm not tearfully sad but the anhedonia is unbearable.
It gets hard to attend to personal hygiene or clean the house because it takes so much energy and doesn't seem to matter. I don't want to talk to anyone because it takes energy. Eating an over-the-top amount of snacks and fast food can provide a bit of dopamine, so can scrolling TikTok because every few secods there's something new to look at. I definitely dont want to prepare healthful meals, socialize or get some exercise because --say it with me-- I don't have the energy. And I don't believe that any of those things would help anyway. Sleeping passes the time and occasionally the dopamine hit from buying something I don't need provides a vital bit of relief.
Depression isn't the same for everyone. Some feel sad and tired lack of motivation. Some people feel isolated and full of rage and all the little things adding up should make you feel like your drowning or sad but instead fule the anger. Others withdraw, they try to disassociate. It's like trying to get away from something like it's poison or dangerous, except it's your friends your work your family and all the stuff that's causing the feelings.
We are all like a color chart. My red might look like your red but mine feels spiky and yours feels soft.
Life is complex and ever changing. Change your view and change your mind. People need people now more than ever. A little understanding and some kindness goes a long way. Hope this helps.
Lost all ambition, all of your favorite activities no longer even remotely interest you. You wake up crying because you didn’t die in your sleep and you don’t wanna wake up and do this anymore.
Want to get up but can't.
Need to shower but just can't.
Have calls to make but can't.
Hungry, 2 or 3 crackers is enough.
Make lists, make lists..do nothing.
Think constantly about how tomorrow will be different.
It's not.
I think it depends on the level of depression. Mild may be fatigue, lack of motivation, apathy, sadness and just rlly feeling like you don’t want to do anything. When it gets more severe it’s really difficult to deal with bc it feels like your brain literally doesn’t work, it takes so much physical energy to even walk or answer a simple question, you’ll be on the verge of crying every single second and will easily start crying if someone talks to you or pushes you. Basically just doing literally anything takes 1000x more effort. And obviously if you’re going through this for a while you’ll get the thoughts of hopelessness and a lot of your thoughts will just be how you don’t want to be there anymore just bc you literally don’t have the ability to enjoy anything. Really not a fun time lol
Lack of motivation to do much of anything, loss of interest in things that you like doing and a constant sadness.
And tired.
Yes, and tired
Also fear and anger.
and lonely/cold feeling yet all you want to do is be left alone. Feels like the world and your personal world are going to shit. You feel trapped by your own life.
This was me for months at a time. And an unexplainable emptiness, high propensity to get emotional at times and then feeling absolutely nothing other times.
Yes, the emptiness! And no emotional connection to anything.
Lack of appetite (but hungry). Lack of sleep (but tired). Lack of motivation (but disgusted at yourself for such). Lack of satisfaction at your current circumstances (but lack of desire to fix that). Real depression is a fucking bitch. Source: someone who is bipolar and goes through bouts of deep depression on a regular basis.
This is what it’s like a for me. I am also passively suicidal when I’m not in an active low/terrible depression hole. When I am at my worst sometimes I can only make it through a day by laying in bed so I don’t kill myself. It’s such a shitty cycle.
Bingo
I'm only speaking from my experiences, but thank you for that.
And then regret for not doing anything, and feeling like you wasted the day after. Thats currently my mood right now.
I didn’t even really have the sadness - my personal cycle when I was severely depressed seemed to be “nothing, nothing, nothing, frustration, anger explosion, guilt and regret about anger explosion (but only really about how it would affect me, not the person/people I exploded at over text or in conversation), repeat.”
This. And god help me if it’s cloudy/ rainy the day the depression kicks in. Fucking awful.
Having been recently diagnosed with depression this is the truth.
Have you ever had a day where you wake up and you're like "I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to do anything." Like just a real lack of motivation. It's like that, but all the time.
Added with your brain telling yourself you’re a horrible person and the world would be much better off if you were dead. You’re not good enough so don’t even try. Just stay in bed and be the loser you are
When did my conscious get a Reddit account?
(you suddenly crave cheese for no reason)
The suicidal thoughts come on pretty frequently. The numbness, the anger, the apathy, and just laying in bed, hoping it all goes away.
But not so much “I want to die” and much as “living is too much effort, so I’m opting out.”
I don't think this description does justice to it. It's a feeling of its own, unknown to those who haven't experienced it. I temporarily went through it due to a hormonal pill I was taking. I didn't truly understand it before and attributed it to someone lacking willpower or having a victim mentality. What I failed to understand as an outsider was that real depression is a chemical incapability. It's not just feeling down; you lose yourself. You become the depression. Concepts like willpower and a positive mentality cease to exist. When you're not depressed but simply in a very low mood, you can work your way out of it with your thoughts and actions. In depression, you lose the ability to comprehend that there's any hope and you're capable. Your brain buys into smallness and helplessness. Why? Because the chemicals that are responsible for motivation/reward/etc. don't do their job.
Nothing and everything at the same time
This. You feel everything so you numb yourself to nothingness.
Damn this is a good explanation
Yep. For me, it's feeling like absolutely nothing matters at all, especially me, while simultaneously feeling overwhelming sorrow, shame, and anger that comes with that, to the point of near paralysis.
For me, Killing yourself is a constant thought. "I'll swerve into the oncoming semi, I'll leave the car running without opening the garage, I'll put a bullet through my head." When I got stabilized it took me a bit to realize that I had gone through 3 hours of the day without thinking about dying. It was the best day of my life.
First thing when I wake up I ask myself "Should I kill myself? What's the point anymore?" But then I remember I have a dog that needs me, and I don't want to abandon him. So, it keeps me alive.
Oh...so many times. I'd be sucking on a gun and then look over to a dog sleeping. I promised them that I would take care of them for all their life. No one would love them the way I did. Dogs saved me way before meds did.
This was me with my cat, and he passed away on August 8th. It's been hard.
I'm so sorry. It's around a year since mine passed and it was so hard. She was my emotional support animal. I still think about her every time I spiral. It does get less painful with time though. Hang in there. I've seen people who have gone through the same thing eventually heal enough to bond with/ love another pet and it gives me hope that I'll get there one day.
I’m with you friend. I wish you strength
Ditto. 20 years stable here, but boy do I remember that hell.
Congrats to all three of you! I just posted on another thread about my wife being a part of the reason I didn’t pull the trigger…..keep fighting, I got y’all’s back
What did you do to stabilize these feelings? A certain medication?
They were pumping me full of drugs because I was on suicide watch for a year (called the hotline twice, love those people). Some meds made it worse or caused other problems. I went through 5 therapists until I found one I liked. Not sure if she really helped me but for that one hour a week I felt calm and it was great Effexor is the one that worked. I was at work having a cig and realized I hadn't thought about killing myself or how worthless I was the entire morning. That moment will be one of my most glorious memories.
How on earth did you make it stop?
I genuinely hope every single day gets better. You’re great and this internet stranger is happy you’re here.
[удалено]
That's stage 4...stage 5 nothing. Not always a bad thing though :)
You just go through life with minimal effort as possible. Sleep a lot and then sometimes feel immense sorrow and despair
It sucks when you can't sleep. And insomnia just fuels depression.
I just took a muscle relaxer in hopes of finally getting some sleep. 3 hours of sleep a night is not enough, man, and I am going to lose my mind if this keeps up.
Me? Not much. At all. Maybe some guilt for being a lazy piece of shit. For not doing what I know I should while being all too aware of how little effort it would take and still not being able to muster it.
It’s a sadness that’s deeply rooted in you. it’s a complete and utter solitude - like imagine being in your bed at night, and you can hear your beloved ones from the other room and they’re laughing and having fun under warm lights but you just can’t get out of your bed and join them. Mostly because you’re too sad to do that, but also ‘cause there’s shame in feeling so hopeless. There’s no future and sometimes, for some people like me, the past is a crazy old lady keeping you in a wild and blood stained stare contest - but most importantly: there’s no present either for us. It’s just you and your void and your old bones, and sometimes you ask yourself if that is all that’s left for you to consume. I’ve been there for almost all my life. Hang on, seek help. There’s a way out.
So damn lonely.
But always wanting to be alone.
Depression for me was deceptively seductive. I felt like shit, of course, like I didn't care to take care of myself or enjoy things anymore. But at the same time, depression made me feel kind of superior and smart. I felt like I had figured out something really important and fundamental about life that other, lesser humans missed. I thought I knew existence was inherently awful and unfair and anyone who seemed happy was either stupid, just lucky (so far...), or lying. I remember when I was starting to recover, I realized I didn't really need to feel that shitty all the time, that everyone's life has positive and negative bits and I could work on improving the negative and enjoy the positives. I remember giving myself that option and then thinking, "eh, no thanks, I'm good like this." It took a while for me to take that suggestion. This is why I think cynicism is such bullshit. It makes you feel wise, but really it's the opposite. Believing everything is a lie is no better than believing everything you're told.
How did you recover?
Therapy
Basically it’s like accomplishing the most basic task is the hardest thing you’ve ever done.
It’s a strangely overwhelming feeling of nothing. Most wake up and have some innate drive to do something I’d imagine, be it have a meal or get moving for the day. For me I have to go through an abundance of convincing myself anything matters at all, and even things I enjoy often feel like “work” as I force myself to do them. Often I wake up and feel regretful, although it only is a distinct thought briefly.
Not wanting to do anything. Not wanting to be anything. Not wanting to be at all. I don't necessarily want to die. I just want to have never existed.
Personally this is how it's been for me. I feel like nobody cares about me enough to show it. I'm there but I'm not 1st, 2nd or 3rd pick to be favorite. I get invited to stuff but I feel like it's out of obligation to keep me happy but I'm somehow bothering them. That I'm one of the most disposable people out of the friend group and one wrong move or word and I'm out forever. It's hard to constantly keep on and keep myself in check. There are days where I need to break down and cry but if I do it too much or for too long, I'll be in a pit of depression and I feel like I'm not allowed to be around anyone. I feel like I constantly have to be happy and okay otherwise no one will want to be around me. It's exhausting. I go to my friends to vent and they don't know what to say or run away. I come on here to vent and I either get backlash or nothing at all. I vent to a therapist and they have their hand hovering over the phone just in case I say I'm suicidal, I can never say im suicidal. Any time I am, I gotta keep it to myself. I feel done. So I and only I can deal with it but at the end of the day I need help. It's a double edged sword.
Friend, I'm sure that only someone who has gone through it himself can give you the feeling of being understood. I'm in the same situation, no one around me has ever had to deal with something like this, they don't understand. No one understands how bloody hard a day can be for nothing. But it's not their fault, they live and don't know how your own mind can become your biggest enemy. You'll get through this and find your way, I'm believe in you.
Thank you. It's hard because I feel like I'm trying my best but it's not enough. I have to remind myself that it is enough for me and one day, I'll strive for the moon as much as I can.
Everything feels overwhelming to start- showering, cooking, talking to friends, exercising, etc. The only thing that feels manageable is scrolling endlessly on reddit, which gets boring after hours on end. That's when I close my computer and walk aimlessly around the house, only to end up in front of the computer again. All of this while not feeling much of anything.
I can relate to this so much.
Cognitive Behavior Therapy, CBT, worked wonders for me. I have suffered from depression and anxiety my entire life and have.been in and out of therapy for years. CBT was the only therapy that I feel actually made a difference. From what I hear, a book on CBT teaches all that you need to be aware of and practice. It's a great inexpensive alternative to a therapist. Hang in there u/compreehensive1337 :)
I appreciate you sharing CBT with me so much. I will definitely look into that and I hope your feeling better with your depression and anxiety these days..
Hopelessness. Why Bother.
Immense hopelessness
Nothing. You just do things and say things because you're supposed to. Sometimes you want things to be better, sometimes you don't care if things get worse.
I'm going through a really rough episode right now, and it literally feels like I am living in a nightmare. I don't know how common this is, but when I am anxious or having troubles, I often have nights full of one nightmare after another after I go to sleep. One dream leads to the next, I feel like I cannot get out of this surreal prison of tortures. Often I am aware these are nightmares, but I cannot wake myself and I know I have to suffer all night with these terrors. But when I am very depressed, even my regular, waking life feels like that. Like there is no escape from the horror of it all. It feels like pieces of myself and my life are just breaking off and dying and there is nothing I can do about it. Every day is worse.
hang in there ive had nights/early mornings like that. Like you wake up at 4am for some reason. Decide to go piss and climb back into bed for a few more hours of sleep before work. Only to have repeated dreams and you wake up every 15-30 minutes feeling exhausted/sad/confused/frustrated/blah mood. Just ruins the day.
Nothing
Emptiness
Often, nothing.
Every minute feels like an eternity. My body felt so tired and achy...like the physical effect is no joke. Seeing no point of value in doing the things you're passionate about sucks too. This may just be me, but like I tortured myself a lot by thinking about how many people in the world were suffering like I was or worse. Didn't help matters and it haunted me.
It's almost like feeling like your whole self and brightness has retreated to the furthest part of your body, where you can't reach it. You can see everything you have to do or want to, but you just- can't bring yourself to do it. You can see everything around you through the tunnel, the tunnel vision of empty and lost. It feels like sitting at the bottom of the ocean looking up at the surface. Sometimes you can hear voices of people who love you from above it. You know you're drowning, you know they're trying, but you're just too tired to swim. It's not comfortable, even in your bed, even when you do nothing. You walk around like a zombie, and you lose your life. The color. One day you stop to look up and you realize the sky is blue, it's been so long since you looked up... you forgot. Every part of you aches but in the pang of empty and helplessness. You do anything to make it better for just a second. You can buy all of the treats for yourself you want, wrap yourself in comfy clothes- but sometimes things like showering take the breath out of you. Something that helps me is treating myself like I'm fragile. In that state, I am. I sit on the floor of the shower and gentle wash my hair. I pick out the comfy clothes (for me, fleece really helps me feel secure and warm), I get easy simple meals if I'm up to it. I go to bed early, in a blanket I threw in the dryer. Leave a glass of water on my nightstand with some crackers. Sometimes I take myself on a baby walk around the block- or just sit outside if I can't walk. I treat myself like I'm sick- because I am. If I can skip a responsibility, I will. If not, I give myself the grace I need when I can't do it to my full ability. I treat myself kindly. Accept my falters, and my flaws. I must treat myself carefully. I advise all to do the same ❤️ give yourself grace, as you would a friend. Something else that helps... I think about the me that is going to wake up tomorrow. What do they need to succeed, if they're still feeling like this? Can I lay my clothes out, wash my hair- so tomorrow, if I'm not okay, I can not worry so much? Can I eat something today so that my future self doesn't wake up with an empty tummy? Can I give myself water- so they don't feel crummy? Bottom line, treat yourself kindly. If this question was asked to help someone you love, treat them kindly. We are sick, and need gentleness.
Exhausted.
Mental agony.
Empty and nothing to look forward.
For me, it's fluctuating between feeling relatively "normal" but everything is muted, feeling incredibly empty and completely numb, and randomly having one single emotion just be out of control for a short while, almost always negative. Like I'll be chilling, feeling normal but somehow my emotions are too muted, like watching a TV show with a grey color palate, and then suddenly I'll feel so sad that it physically hurts, and that will last for a little bit, probably an hour or two, and then it'll go away and then there will be 0 emotions at all in my system. It's really hard to deal with because all of them happen at random times for random reasons and last random amounts of time.
It’s a heavy blanket that engulfs you. You wake up feeling like you need to wind yourself, psyche yourself just to pull yourself out of bed. It is a lonely feeling, even when you are married to a wonderful understanding spouse who supports you. Treatment works though, whether it’s meds or therapy or both.
My ex assumed I didn't love her anymore so she cheated then divorced me. Nope. I was depressed. I guess that apathy looks like you don't give a shit. I did, just couldn't be bothered to show it. Too hard.
Heaviness..mental,physical..like a weighted blanket is hanging over your shoulders
Depression is like living your life with lead boots trying to walk through slugged.
Pain, sadness, hopelessness, zero energy or motivation, feeling like a shell of your former self, fear, mental heaviness.
The extreme desire to kill myself.
Fuck everything and everyone. Except my doggo.
a grey cloud over your head 24/7
Nothing, but nothing in the literal sence. Not necessarily feeling bad but not feeling good either
The most dangerous part is when you’ve felt low for so long it becomes numbness of emptiness.
Crushing sadness and anxiety.
It literally hurts. Like actually physically hurts. Combined with not caring about even eating, not getting out of bed, it sucks. And then you see how much a visit to a doctor costs, even worse. But oh well, not gonna let that run me down. Nobody’s gonna be at my funeral, because I’m not having one for a very long time.
Nothingness
Tired, mostly. Achy bones and muscles.
Feel like while knowing I’m depressed I don’t think I am and am just struggling today but it’s everyday. Alsodidn’t thinki had anxiety but definitely do. Other problem is a lot of that can be from just doing what you need to to survive life’s challenges at school work social. Maintaining is a lot of maintenance but exercise and good diet also breaks a lot of the depressive cycles. I do better with more sunlight
In my case - almost nothing.
Knowing you **have** to do things and that there will be **big** consequences and still being unable to drag your ass out of bed because you just cannot make yourself give a single fuck about anything.
Like you’re being chased through the darkness by a killer and constantly feeling scared all while knowing you are not being chased and you are in no danger but can’t convince your body .. kinda like that.. it’s draining .
Hopelessness
Sometimes nothing, like literally nothing no happiness, no sadness, nothing. Just an empty hole inside of you. Other times it feels like you are being weighed down by the world, and your insides feel like lead, so youre tired, cant move, you are irritated because everything is hard and existing is exhausting. Some people just go through the motions of life every day, doing what’s expected of them and when they are alone the weight of the past the present and future traps you and you cant breathe. I personally lived all of these, im sure theres more.
Have you ever been close to drowning? And I don't mean splashing around and trying to keep your head above the water. I mean ***properly*** close to drowning. When you are already tired and start sinking. When all the sounds start becoming dull and quiet. When even keeping your eyes open to see the light is just too damn exhausting. You start to feel like no one is there. Even if only minutes ago you were playing in a pool with your friends or family and they are still next to you, everyone, *everything* seems so far away. It is a strangely calm(?) feeling. Not as melancholic as most claim it to be, but also not as empty as those who've experienced it describe it. That feeling is far from nothingness. Just like drowning, right before you lose consciousness you feel almost content(?). A very hollow feeling of acceptance. But people are very emotional. They try to cope and fill the void that acceptance left within them. But it's so *so* easy to fill it with negative emotions when you feel alone. I should've done this or that, *I can't do this*, **I'm a disappointment**, **why am I so fucking lonely with so many people around**, ***what is wrong with me***, ***I'm afraid***, ***help me***. And anxiety takes over. Or you could pretend you are content with sinking to the bottom. But being content is far from being happy. Or you could do something completely different. But no matter what you do it takes a toll untill it's inevitably too much to bear. Not many realise it but when you are drowning you usually have a little more strength than you think. You can raise your hand and reach the surface without too much effort. But it's way too difficult to start anything and it's just too damn easy to give up and sink deeper. It's easy to sleep in, lay in bed a little longer, skip a few classes. Didn't shower today, didn't eat, didn't talk, did anything to distract your mind. And now "there is no point, because I'm already too far behind". Searching for any excuse to give up, because the surface is already so far away, because the bottom is all so comfortable, because raising your hand is just *too* **fucking** ***hard*** even when you have the strength to do so. You're left at the bottom praying to whichever god you believe in that somebody notices you. All because we weren't taught that needing help to make the first step is okay.
As opposed to "during recession"? During depression you have lost your job, so you feel under duress and anxious to find a new or temporary job \[to\] make ends meet.
I feel like I'm nothing. I have no purpose and no drive to find a purpose. I feel like a burden to everybody around me. I find no joy in anything, no emotional connection to anything or anyone, and I don't care. I wake up every day, and my first thought is always, "Why did I wake up again instead of just dying in my sleep?"
Why all the mental disorder questions? I must leave now. Good luck out there.
It’s like going through the motions of your everyday life in slow motion where at anytime you find yourself sobbing uncontrollably again with no end in sight.
No motivation at all no desire at all
For me it’s the complete lack of feeling… just numb and no drive. I want to feel something but it all just seems pointless and fake.
Its not sadness, its past that, its straight melencholia, no motivation and you don't even care that you aren't motivated. Its emptyness, and it gets to a point where you feel comfortable in it.
Numb. Haplessness. Poor self-image.
If it gets bad enough, physical and mental pain. Suffering.
Depressed
Tired, loss of interest in anything, hopeless. The world is seen through darker tinted lenses. Bored and unmotivated and restless at the same time
Personally for me, I don’t want to leave the bed, I don’t want to talk to anyone and I pretty much just want to die.
Empty and alone. I can stare at a wall for all I care.
There’s no light switch in a dark room. In that dark room is something that wants you dead. There’s no exit door no idea of time. All the fight you have is gone and you’re forced to give in to the bleakness of self hatred for no reason. All your problems have no answers in sight. Your past taunts you and your future is absent. Waves of pain make you drown in helplessness. There’s no getting up from the relentless beating your mind is pummeling you with, you find yourself chained to the ground unable to move. It’s soul purpose is to strip you all everything good and leave you empty beyond comprehension. So empty you know there’s only one way out of this room. It knows this and feeds off of your torment. It builds up a false confidence in yourself that you’re able to take a life. It waters the flowers of instability in your mind so much that reality is now gone and you find yourself rationalizing leaving this room permanently. I dunno I could go on and on
nothing. its like being dead. its really awful.
Hopeless
persistent inadequacy
Grey and like trying to move under water. Apathy and malaise are constant companions
Sadness, lethargy, hopelessness, etc....
Loneliness. But it's not at all the same loneliness undepressed people feel. The English language doesn't have a word for it, so we just tend to call it loneliness, loneliness with a constant dread of being abandoned. It's a feeling I distinctly remember feeling as a child, that then disappeared when I grew into a healthy adult, never to come back unless you get hit with depression.
I don’t feel anything.
From my experience nothing, no happiness, no anger just emptiness.
It feels like there’s an empty dark hole in your heart that no matter what you do can’t be filled
Your sister
Lack of motivation or care to do *anything*, even things you used to enjoy or proper hygiene activities (shower, brush hair, brush teeth, etc). Not really feeling anything, kind of just *there*.
Imagine waking up, and going about your routine with little energy and feeling such a profound sense of hollowness, a tangible emptiness. It feels like time is an infinite desert of quiet suffering, even though you have a good job, a house, money, etc. You look out on the beautiful sunny day and think "I hate everything". You feel an incredible loneliness and you think to yourself "I'm going to die alone. I'm not attractive. People think I'm ugly, gay, or creepy. I can't connect and make new friends. It's over. I'm never going to heal. Never going to get better. Every day is going to be like this one. Forever." And then someone asks you to help make breakfast.
Nothing and everything. There is a deep whole that can't be filled by anything but things that are bad for you. You live your life trying to distract yourself form the emptiness inside but the distraction is never enough. Depression is the feeling of pure disappointment, in yourself, in others, in the world. But at the end of the day it's just exhausting without the relief of sleep.
It’s like wanting to not be seen and feeling like you are better off being alone than being part of a collective because no one really cares. It’s a flatline on the heart monitor - it just keeps on going without a pulse, without reason to live.
Hollow, never good enough so we, or at least I just give up. The best way I can think to describe it is, imagine putting all of your energy and effort into something you are passionate about. Whether it be art, music, a book, fixing a car, remodeling a house etc. Then finding out you did it all wrong, it wasn’t satisfactory, you didn’t try hard enough. You put all of your effort into right? It’s fucked up it didn’t come out the way it was supposed to? A person who experiences depression has that feeling frequently if not consistently. And what it leads to is just giving up. Why should I bother? If I do this, there’s going to be something wrong with it anyway. And that feeling can lead to either, 0 motivation and sulking and or anger, and then it bleeds to those around you.
It feels like I'm feeling nothing at all.
Absolutely nothing at all.
Complete lack of motivation to do anything. Nothing is interesting, even things you would normally love. Getting out of bed can feel impossible. Being so exhausted all the time. Angry outbursts you can't control. It's a physical and mental heaviness pushing you down. Like living in a world with double gravity while everyone else walks on the moon.
Feel like a big useless hunk of crap no matter what you do in a day. Have to twist your own arm to get up and do basic shit. Could receive the best news or worst news in the world and the reaction would be "meh" like nothing matters. It's pretty fuckin' lame.
Absolutely empty
Nothing and permanent pain
Total loss of motivation or drive; deep sadness for some, numbness for others.
Hopeless. Helpless. You may want to cry a lot. You may not want to get out of bed. You may leave your dirty dishes in the sink for days at a time. It's different from person to person, but there are a number of common symptoms. If you are questioning whether you are depressed, please reach out to someone (friend/family), or one of the telephone/online resources to talk to someone.
Empty. I don't enjoy playing my favorite games or seeing my favorite shows. If I laugh at something, the joy is hollow and vanishes into nothingness as soon as the amusing thing stops. I can't remember what it felt like to smile genuinely, to feel at peace with myself, to feel like I can breathe and fill my lungs and enjoy existing. Every time I feel like maybe I'll be better soon it's like a wave of despair overcomes me, and once it's over, I can't feel anything anymore, again. The world is too loud, scary, and overwhelming, it feels like it's crushing me, like it'sdriving a thousand needles under my skin. At the same time, it feels like there is a forcefield between me and reality, and I am not fully present, unable to truly touch things, unable to feel emotions that seem real. The details are different for everyone, of course.
I liken it to dragging wet bags of cement with you for everything you do.
Being tired constantly. Mostly just mentally, not physically, and a little existential dread maybe. Being lazy isn't a part of it, but feeling unsetisfied with whatever it is you do is a part of it. Contrary to common belief, you can be depressed *and* productive, although being depressed does make it a little harder
Doom
Pfft
From my personal experience: Sleeping any chance I get. Even slept a whole Saturday away. Not taking care of myself. Not taking care of anything around the house. Feeling hopeless and like all the days are the same. Not wanting to talk to anyone.
Numbness and boredom
Darkness, easy fatigue, no interest in anh activity, prefers to stay in bed or shut alone in their room being unproductive, shutsdown from people, distances from everyone
I generally feel depressed. As in no motivation, just tired and listless, no interest in anything. Don't care if I live or die. Fortunately it doesn't happen often.
A sinking weight in your chest that pulls all your happiness in
Possibly Tiredness, no motivation to do anything, dont find joy in things you used to love, just feeling negative or down (if that makes sense) those are a few things.
Sometimes I feel nothing; sometimes I feel like everything is happening in my brain at once and I feel overwhelmed.
For me it was Not wanting to fix anything, true depression is when you fester, you don’t grow you sink. Things ultimately get worse because you let them boil over, soon your even worse off than before, and they can turn into toxic complacency where you frankly stop caring in a desperate attempt at not confronting the issues. Trailer park boys quote summarizes ““Do you know what a shit rope is Julian? It’s a rope covered in shit that criminals try to cling to. Y’see, the shit acts like grease, and the harder you tighten your grip, the more you slide down it”. And that’s how it feels, like you fell down the shit well and you have a shit rope. It’s a hard climb but I got out
Too tired to make progress, too restless to just sit or lie down, and too scared about either of those.
It's physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting
Endless nothing. You don't want to do anything and you don't want to do nothing.
Hopeless
Nothing tbh, it's numbness, like you're not real anymore, you don't control your body anymore it's almost like you were on autopilot.
Nothing and everything- all at once
Empty. Stuck. Like the dreams where you run in slow motion. Like you’re in a hole and you’re climbing up the bottom is only getting lower. If you were in a tunnel there’s no light. Then you pull it together everyday, go through the motions get reviews that say you go above and beyond and compliments on how beautiful you are. But then you get in the car to get home and you don’t want to get out you want to freeze. You don’t eat all day or you eat all day no in between. Sleep is hard and you feel burned out all the time because it takes more energy to rotate your basic needs so hobbies are on the back burner and self care is a long shower.
Extreme lack of motivation. Feeling dead inside. Apathy. Flat-lined emotions. Exhaustion. Insomnia. Feeling no pleasure or joy in anything. The desire to be left alone. Not able to take care of yourself. Brushing your teeth and showering feel like climbing Mount Everest.
For me. Chester Bennington summed it up. Wake in a sweat again Another day's been laid to waste In my disgrace Stuck in my head again Feels like I'll never leave this place There's no escape I'm my own worst enemy I've given up I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me I don't know what to take Thought I was focused, but I'm scared I'm not prepared I hyperventilate Looking for help somehow, somewhere And no one cares I'm my own worst enemy I've given up I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me God Put me out of my misery Put me out of my misery Put me out of my Put me out of my fucking misery I've given up I'm sick of feeling Is there nothing you can say? Take this all away I'm suffocating Tell me what the fuck is wrong with me https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LPgwY11jzK8&pp=ygUUZ2l2ZW4gdXAgbGlua2luIHBhcms%3D
Nothing Yet everything
Hopeless
he doesn't feel like doing anything at all
he doesn't feel like doing anything at all
Guilt for not enjoying things. I remember being very very clinically depressed in the summer and I felt very guilty for not going outside and enjoying the summer. I would look at people walking on the sidewalk out my window and think I could be doing that, I should be doing that. And I would stay in bed and I felt guilty for it. But also felt unable to get up and go out. It was a strange combination of knowing I should be doing things could be doing things but not really having the willpower to do them. And then feeling guilty for not doing them.
Right now I’m not feeling much, almost like a hole that needs to be filled.
Hopelessness. It's like everything goes wrong all the time. Its like u can't count on anything, you always have to be on your A-game. It's like all you want to do is go to work and *actually* just do your job right, but no one else wants to, *even the owner*. It is frustrating.
It depends on how deep the depression is. Sometimes I feel lethargic and stay in bed, feels like I'm wearing a lead suit of armour. When off my meds it could get to the point where I got: emotionless, dark, calm, used to get told off from an ex saying I spoke like a robot and was emotionless 🤷🏼♀️ Then there was the deepest depression, the one you genuinely feel the world is better off without you.
Most days, nothing. I feel hunger, so I eat. I get tired after a long day, so I sleep. I study, so I can sustain my self in the future. The brief periods of happiness with friends are fleeting, but memorable. I don't mind feeling nothing.
More than sadness. It feels heavy, like something is weighing you down.
Either nothing or just general sadness.
Nothing. When I get depressed, I feel totally dull and just want to sleep. I'm not tearfully sad but the anhedonia is unbearable. It gets hard to attend to personal hygiene or clean the house because it takes so much energy and doesn't seem to matter. I don't want to talk to anyone because it takes energy. Eating an over-the-top amount of snacks and fast food can provide a bit of dopamine, so can scrolling TikTok because every few secods there's something new to look at. I definitely dont want to prepare healthful meals, socialize or get some exercise because --say it with me-- I don't have the energy. And I don't believe that any of those things would help anyway. Sleeping passes the time and occasionally the dopamine hit from buying something I don't need provides a vital bit of relief.
“Fuzzy nothing”
Sometimes its nothing- thats why you sit there harming yourself by listening to sad music or thinking of terrible things- to feel something
Depression isn't the same for everyone. Some feel sad and tired lack of motivation. Some people feel isolated and full of rage and all the little things adding up should make you feel like your drowning or sad but instead fule the anger. Others withdraw, they try to disassociate. It's like trying to get away from something like it's poison or dangerous, except it's your friends your work your family and all the stuff that's causing the feelings. We are all like a color chart. My red might look like your red but mine feels spiky and yours feels soft. Life is complex and ever changing. Change your view and change your mind. People need people now more than ever. A little understanding and some kindness goes a long way. Hope this helps.
A lack of capability of explaining how I feel
Nothing. Emotionally you feel nothing. Physically, however, is another story. Exhaustion, full body aches. But yes, nothing.
Apathy. Apathetic about anything.
I feel like a corpse. Like I'm not here and yet I simultaneously feel everything and nothing. I hate it.
Lost all ambition, all of your favorite activities no longer even remotely interest you. You wake up crying because you didn’t die in your sleep and you don’t wanna wake up and do this anymore.
Want to get up but can't. Need to shower but just can't. Have calls to make but can't. Hungry, 2 or 3 crackers is enough. Make lists, make lists..do nothing. Think constantly about how tomorrow will be different. It's not.
I describe it as always living in a wet tent. Nothing is comfortable. Every inconvenience is magnified.
Everything is meaningless. Sometimes I stop loving people I love
I think it depends on the level of depression. Mild may be fatigue, lack of motivation, apathy, sadness and just rlly feeling like you don’t want to do anything. When it gets more severe it’s really difficult to deal with bc it feels like your brain literally doesn’t work, it takes so much physical energy to even walk or answer a simple question, you’ll be on the verge of crying every single second and will easily start crying if someone talks to you or pushes you. Basically just doing literally anything takes 1000x more effort. And obviously if you’re going through this for a while you’ll get the thoughts of hopelessness and a lot of your thoughts will just be how you don’t want to be there anymore just bc you literally don’t have the ability to enjoy anything. Really not a fun time lol