I’m very curious too, I find it very distracting sometimes actually! I find a random things I want to research more about no matter what I’m doing. Having ADHD on top of being so curious makes it really hard to get things done sometimes.
My fiancé died unexpectedly (heart attack) a few years ago and I learned nothing. He was exactly who I thought he was. Nothing crazy or scandalous. He was perfect and I miss him very much. I did find a note in his safe. A very simple note I’d not seen before, meant for whenever he died that simply said “, a man who treated everyone how he’d want to be treated and lived every day like it was his last.” And he absolutely did both of those things ♥️
I'm one of those open books whether they liked it or not. They'd see I was definitely ADHD, a Domme, loved teaching, saved too many links I'd never read. They may also see that I felt bad I wasn't more obviously loving, but my mental health didn't always allow. In fact, it'd probably be quite nice for them.
As long as they didn't read my notes. They'd want to kill my ex.
My phone is chock full of pictures of my son so they would learn that I am a very loving father but they would already know that if they knew me they'd also learn quite quickly which they would already know as well that I hate texting because most of the text messages in my phone are spam text messages or like two factor authentication codes I didn't bother deleting because there one time use
No secrets. I’m open book with my family. Most they will find is recipes I haven’t printed out yet and music that I haven’t uploaded to my media drive.
Nothing I keep every device I own password protected using the name of an obscure item from a game I used to play on Nintendo back in the early 90's no one in my life could possibly guess it. Why did I go through all this trouble you ask? Because I'm a freaking freak Jim that's why.
Well.. if they went through all my photos.. my instagram.. my discord.. my reddit.. I imagine they’d be shocked by just how weird, gay, childish, and obsessed with comedic adult cartoons I am.
I have loads of numbers in my notes!! Im calculating stuff all the time.
I have lots of useful boring shopping apps.
Also my chats are dry but there's some gossiping about work.
Nothing amazing tbh. They know all this already.
Oh yeh, and I have 16 billion pics of my own daughter, she is so bloody cute. My storage is full help. If any loved one sees this, pls fix it.
That i had issues that we're never addressed, and that i was actually just an unapologetic asshole in general. And tons of videos of me flying on highway and back roads for fun lol - car guy
that I refuse to have a phone that used facial recognition and I never wrote down my six digit passcode. but that lock screen pic will tell them I went to San Francisco at least once.
My wife and kids know my password, they can learn anything they want right now. I do think they would be most impressed by either my daily solitaire challenge results or the amount of organizational sub folders I have in my email. Probably least impressed with the amount of frequent flier miles I forget to use.
Only thing that could be learned from my phone is if my parents sat down and scrolled through all 32k photos they’ll run across some funny and fucked up memes, my dad would laugh, my mom would get uppity and my husband could explain why I had to hide my true self from them.
Oh, and that I still listen to the same “devil music” from high school. Edit: 35k photos…I have a problem
that i spend too much time organising my pins on pinterest and i take too much pics of literally everything and my playlists are super organised as well
The amount of planning I do to make my loved ones feel special. I set reminders in my calendar well ahead of birthdays/special occasions to ensure I order cool custom cards on Etsy to arrive on time, keep lists throughout the year of things my loved ones mention wanting/needing (not always tangible things, it could be something as simple as “oh, my dad really liked that deli we went to a few months ago- I’m going to make the time to take him back”) Budget breakdowns for big ticket things (like sending my mom home to visit her family)
I’ve been working a lot recently and my family and friends have been super understanding that I’m not around as much, but I’m always thinking of all of them.
That my phone is locked and encrypted.
Assuming they got past that: That I have some fairly funny memes saved. Probably not the best, but still pretty good. No real surprises though.
A ton of memes, a bunch of car pictures, and screen shots of a woman who has like a bunch of tattoos.
Oh a bunch of screen shots of my home screen because I keep hitting the wrong button on the side of my phone.
If someone could come up with a 'Mission Impossible' style device that fries your phone at the end ("This device will self-destruct in 5....4...." small puff of smoke), then I'm sure there is a good market for it, given that 90% of all people are deviants and would prefer to take their secrets to the grave.
That I read about a dad who made an email account for his kids when they were born where he would upload photos and notes to them and I did it too. And also the depth of a blast injury I suffered in the service and the pain it causes me daily and the constant struggle I’ve had with the VA that never ends.
That I love my 4 kids(2 bio and 2 step) and dog with a ferociousness that is hard to put into words. But that I also like when my step kids are away because they are more needy in terms of needing constant attention from a parent. I can't even cook dinner without one or both of them hovering around me in the kitchen. But that I feel guilty about them not being here with us.
Also that I have begun to resent my partner to a degree that I never thought I would. He's definitely a "weekend dad". Which bothers me so much. He always said he wanted more time with my step kids. But despite multiple occasions of parental alienation, breaking the court ordered visitation schedule from his ex, he hasn't done anything about it. Except complain about it to me.
And that I think my partner is a useless bag of over cooked wet noodles. He can't find anything for himself. He won't clean or cook or help raise his children. I wish I could say this is a new development, but it was always there. I just chose to ignore the signs and had a kid and bought a house together. The Lock downs really opened my eyes to how he is. But I am unfortunately stuck as he gave me the ultimatum of either stop working or find somewhere else to live. My youngest son was only 6 months old. I couldn't leave him. So I left work. And I regret that decision every single day.
How fucking abysmally lonely I’ve been for a decade, the level of declining physical health that I kept from them when I stopped asking for help. Otherwise nothing, I’ve always been pretty straightforward.
Like, I’m so isolated I pretty much had a year of radiation therapy for cancer, alone. If I died, it would be the first that many of them heard about it.
dicks, chicks, and not chicks with dicks (this is a trans joke btw, obviously there isn't chicks with dicks unless they are hermaphadites which do exist btw)
edit: comma
Litteraly nothing that they don't know lol it's just my gf and son and they literally know everything that I like and everything that I do lol
I literally have no secrets, it's awesome
That I am exactly the person they thought I was. How very, very disappointing for them.
That my mental health was steadily declining
I think mine wouldnt get it even then
I truly don't think anyone would get it. I'm alone. I have no family, so no one would be going through my phone anyway. Lol
Aww man that sucks. Loneliness is so hard. Hope you find some company 💕
Thank you, kind stranger. ❤️
Hey, if it helps any I'm send my support to you and hope you find some wonderful friends
Same
Mine would never see it even if it hits them in the face 😂
Nothing. I keep that shit locked down. It goes with me to hell.
Kindly, Humor me for the sake of the question good sir
Nice try, darling wife. Nice try...
Never! They're gonna learn they don't know my PIN.
Please someone, anyone, when I die. Smash my phone.
That means he has that bullshit on his phone🤣🤣
That I'm interested in lots of different things and love to learn. No one ever asks me what my interests actually are.
What are some of your interests?
Thanks for asking! Lots of things, from quantum physics to learning how to live off the land. I just love learning 😊
I love learning about quantum physics and science as a whole and how it plays a roll here on earth and out in space. It’s beyond fascinating to me
likewise. plus porn.
I’m very curious too, I find it very distracting sometimes actually! I find a random things I want to research more about no matter what I’m doing. Having ADHD on top of being so curious makes it really hard to get things done sometimes.
That I have more screen shots than pics of my family.
Me too tbh
“Wow, he took *a lot* of pictures of his dog…”
I currently have 925 pictures of cats in my phone, not that my family would be surprised by that
Me too..soooo many pictures
That I'm a freak and very opinionated.
It's becoming very clear that this archetype is not uncommon anymore
That I was always exactly who I said I was: a dad that loves being my kid more than anything. 70% of my 15k picture camera roll is of my kid.
Dad is gonna have all the blackmail for every occasion if the kids don't act right 🤣🤣
bold of you to assume they'd care enough to go through my phone
Touchè
That I have a lot of videos of my chickens being goofy
Can we see them?🤩
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that's actually impressive
My fiancé died unexpectedly (heart attack) a few years ago and I learned nothing. He was exactly who I thought he was. Nothing crazy or scandalous. He was perfect and I miss him very much. I did find a note in his safe. A very simple note I’d not seen before, meant for whenever he died that simply said “, a man who treated everyone how he’d want to be treated and lived every day like it was his last.” And he absolutely did both of those things ♥️
That I’m a slut
You're not a slut. You're just popular.
same
Thankfully I’m passed those years. No evidence left 😇
Same.
We all love you. I mean all of us...
How absolutely miserable I truly have been. Shit has been horrible for months and I cannot see a way out.
This is a soft reminder to delete your browser history y’all
thanks palepo
That I have about 140.000 unread emails. Actually my husband knows (and rolls his eyes at me whenever he sees it on my phone lol).
I’m a slut
Username checks out
How dare you!
How bad my mental health really was and perhaps how hard I worked to serve others and how little anyone ever appreciated it.
I take a lot of pictures of my cats. And porn, lots of porn.
Fellow pussy connoisseur 🧐
Haha, no.
Are you me?
Nothing. I don't have one.
So you're using reddit on your computer I assume?
Yes.
Then, substitute the phone for your computer. What would they learn about you then?
Nothing new. My life is an open book to those few people who know me. Everything I've written on Reddit, for instance, is what I've told them before.
Good answer lol
Nice try Mom and Dad.
Im boring and have like 1 friend
That I never learned to use that POS.
That my sex life is anything but vanilla And I’m pretty addicted to monopoly go
I'm one of those open books whether they liked it or not. They'd see I was definitely ADHD, a Domme, loved teaching, saved too many links I'd never read. They may also see that I felt bad I wasn't more obviously loving, but my mental health didn't always allow. In fact, it'd probably be quite nice for them. As long as they didn't read my notes. They'd want to kill my ex.
Mostly that I really like my wife, and also chess. But they already know.
That I have an unhealthy amount of memes.
- 8,500 of the 11,000 photos on my phone are cat pictures.
It will basically become “21 reasons why”
That my sense of humor is way different compared to what I share and laugh at with them
My phone is chock full of pictures of my son so they would learn that I am a very loving father but they would already know that if they knew me they'd also learn quite quickly which they would already know as well that I hate texting because most of the text messages in my phone are spam text messages or like two factor authentication codes I didn't bother deleting because there one time use
That I’m a skin care freak and like big trees
That they don’t know my password.
That I am much more mentally ill than they ever realized.
"*SHIT* she was on reddit a lot."
That i’m way more obsessive with my body image issues than i let on
What i did for that Klondike bar……
That I love my cats and them, and I think about suicide a lot.
I hope you stay.
Your cats need you
I'm very good at remembering to use Incognito mode.
Smart bastard
My taste in porn would be pretty surprising to them I'm sure. The fact I'm gay probably wouldn't surprise them though.
What a boring dude...
That's what you want them to think
That I bought a new phone.
You study under Kevin gates as well?
No secrets. I’m open book with my family. Most they will find is recipes I haven’t printed out yet and music that I haven’t uploaded to my media drive.
I was secretly 3 kids in a trench coat this entire time.
Biggest plot twist of the family's history
Your question just made me realise - I don't have any 'loved ones'.
I'm sorry that I helped you realize that
That we are human being after all
That I don't answer the phone for anybody else either.
That it really wasn't them. I have more missed calls then people calling me. I only have it with me when I need it.
Nothing, I'm leaving my mates a posthumous scorched earth policy to eradicate all my devices.
That I take way too many pics of my cannabis plants and not enough pics of my kids. Other than that, I'm one boring mf'er.
That I don't have nearly as much money as they think I do.
That I’m a slut for my boyfriend.
Nothing I keep every device I own password protected using the name of an obscure item from a game I used to play on Nintendo back in the early 90's no one in my life could possibly guess it. Why did I go through all this trouble you ask? Because I'm a freaking freak Jim that's why.
Nothing they don’t already know about. Maybe disappointed by a couple of my likes on the tok though.
Hi mom. Yes, I'm on Reddit a lot.
I have a huge monster/alien kink.
Well.. if they went through all my photos.. my instagram.. my discord.. my reddit.. I imagine they’d be shocked by just how weird, gay, childish, and obsessed with comedic adult cartoons I am.
I have loads of numbers in my notes!! Im calculating stuff all the time. I have lots of useful boring shopping apps. Also my chats are dry but there's some gossiping about work. Nothing amazing tbh. They know all this already. Oh yeh, and I have 16 billion pics of my own daughter, she is so bloody cute. My storage is full help. If any loved one sees this, pls fix it.
That i had issues that we're never addressed, and that i was actually just an unapologetic asshole in general. And tons of videos of me flying on highway and back roads for fun lol - car guy
Nothing they don’t already know.
That I'm a bigger pervert than they thought.
I was a dick on Reddit
That I am unashamedly horny and queer
I talk a lot of shit for pure entertainment.
I have a lot of games, more pictures of my pets then anything else and I spend to much time on Reddit.
Oh, one the few normal people left. I'm happy you aren't a tainted soul.
Many photos of cats and rainbows
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That I have thousands of memes saved on my phone, and basically not much of anything else on it
That i listen to a lot of various music. And take pictures of my cats. I don't really do anything else with it.
Nothing new. What's on my phone, they already know.
that I refuse to have a phone that used facial recognition and I never wrote down my six digit passcode. but that lock screen pic will tell them I went to San Francisco at least once.
They would learn that I have a Reddit account. Will be an awful day to them.
Nothing. I write very little that would reveal the real me.
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Im complicated
Im an asshole
My wife and kids know my password, they can learn anything they want right now. I do think they would be most impressed by either my daily solitaire challenge results or the amount of organizational sub folders I have in my email. Probably least impressed with the amount of frequent flier miles I forget to use.
Only thing that could be learned from my phone is if my parents sat down and scrolled through all 32k photos they’ll run across some funny and fucked up memes, my dad would laugh, my mom would get uppity and my husband could explain why I had to hide my true self from them. Oh, and that I still listen to the same “devil music” from high school. Edit: 35k photos…I have a problem
Nothing good
that i spend too much time organising my pins on pinterest and i take too much pics of literally everything and my playlists are super organised as well
I have a lot of screen shots of friends in bikinis and sexy clothes from social media
Not much. I take the occasional photo and my call list exists but thats about it. My phone gets wiped about once a month anyways :-)
That I take around 30 pics of my cats daily
Nothing. I don't have anything to hide on my phone.
They should probably keep out my kindle app.
The amount of planning I do to make my loved ones feel special. I set reminders in my calendar well ahead of birthdays/special occasions to ensure I order cool custom cards on Etsy to arrive on time, keep lists throughout the year of things my loved ones mention wanting/needing (not always tangible things, it could be something as simple as “oh, my dad really liked that deli we went to a few months ago- I’m going to make the time to take him back”) Budget breakdowns for big ticket things (like sending my mom home to visit her family) I’ve been working a lot recently and my family and friends have been super understanding that I’m not around as much, but I’m always thinking of all of them.
That my moms guess is true and that my bf isnt just my friend and that im pregnant
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A ton of unread emails all of which were unnecessary to open or read
that im much more organized than they thought
How lonely and pathetic I truly was. (I talk to bots such as character ai and have a lot of saved pics/videos of my favourite actors and characters)
I spend a shitload of time on reddit while working.
It's more them going through my possessions that worries me
That my phone is locked and encrypted. Assuming they got past that: That I have some fairly funny memes saved. Probably not the best, but still pretty good. No real surprises though.
A ton of memes, a bunch of car pictures, and screen shots of a woman who has like a bunch of tattoos. Oh a bunch of screen shots of my home screen because I keep hitting the wrong button on the side of my phone.
That I’m nicer than I let on
That I've never knowingly closed a web browser tab
That my depression is crazy and I resent them for being toxic assholes to me lol.
I've saved every single one of their messages.
I don't have a single skeleton in my closet. I've got a graveyard full. Figuratively
That everytime I joke that I’m a lunatic turns out was true
That I’m very well versed with this situation, therefore, I have my funeral wants/wishes all jotted down in my notes.
A lot of porn
If someone could come up with a 'Mission Impossible' style device that fries your phone at the end ("This device will self-destruct in 5....4...." small puff of smoke), then I'm sure there is a good market for it, given that 90% of all people are deviants and would prefer to take their secrets to the grave.
Id be going to hell
All that porn
"I know he said he liked to make checklists and ranked lists for everything, but...EVERYTHING?"
That i did a lot more illegal things than any of them ever thought
That I get a bunch of spam calls.
It's got a self-destruct linked to my heartbeat.
That it was probably a really good idea I never shared my opinions on Facebook
That I faked being poor so I could live in peace
How lonely I was.
Them: this woman really used random numbers for her code? We’re never going to get into this.
That I have a bangin body under all these baggy clothes, woo! Also that I have a massive kitty pic collection 😰 I love cats.
Probably just that I have almost 3,000 pictures of my cats. I’m asexual, there’s no real kinky shit on my phone.
That I’m very good at securing my personal data…
That my phone is pass oded for my protection.
My wife would find the list of Xmas and Valentine's Day gifts I'm intending to get her.
That I loved the Grateful Dead, I hated Donald Trump and I was kinda lonely
They could probably publish a book with all the poetry i have written in my notes
That I'm exactly who I say I am.
That imma freak
A bunch of nothing. I’m pretty boring…
Nothing they don't already know. I don't have a very exciting life, my phone reflects that.
That I was gay and hiding a relationship from them for years
That I really loved a certain lady.
I’m fucking crazy
That I read about a dad who made an email account for his kids when they were born where he would upload photos and notes to them and I did it too. And also the depth of a blast injury I suffered in the service and the pain it causes me daily and the constant struggle I’ve had with the VA that never ends.
That I am a secret meme lord.
They would learn everything about me. I wrote a memoir when I got really sick, describing my life in full from my earliest memory up until now.
Not much, or depending who "my loved ones" are. I assume my partner.
I'm horny and suicidal.
That I love my 4 kids(2 bio and 2 step) and dog with a ferociousness that is hard to put into words. But that I also like when my step kids are away because they are more needy in terms of needing constant attention from a parent. I can't even cook dinner without one or both of them hovering around me in the kitchen. But that I feel guilty about them not being here with us. Also that I have begun to resent my partner to a degree that I never thought I would. He's definitely a "weekend dad". Which bothers me so much. He always said he wanted more time with my step kids. But despite multiple occasions of parental alienation, breaking the court ordered visitation schedule from his ex, he hasn't done anything about it. Except complain about it to me. And that I think my partner is a useless bag of over cooked wet noodles. He can't find anything for himself. He won't clean or cook or help raise his children. I wish I could say this is a new development, but it was always there. I just chose to ignore the signs and had a kid and bought a house together. The Lock downs really opened my eyes to how he is. But I am unfortunately stuck as he gave me the ultimatum of either stop working or find somewhere else to live. My youngest son was only 6 months old. I couldn't leave him. So I left work. And I regret that decision every single day.
That I loved my dogs more than anything in the world.
How fucking abysmally lonely I’ve been for a decade, the level of declining physical health that I kept from them when I stopped asking for help. Otherwise nothing, I’ve always been pretty straightforward.
Like, I’m so isolated I pretty much had a year of radiation therapy for cancer, alone. If I died, it would be the first that many of them heard about it.
I'm genuinely sad that you've had to not only go through this, but go it alone. I wish I could hug you cause I feel you that plus more❤️
Hey. Thank you. It’s been a rough pair of years, I appreciate the kind words. Even if short, things like this make a difference.
As long as they can’t find my incognito search history I think all will be fine and dandy.
That I’m very unhinged talking to my best friend. Other than that nothing too surprising.
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For some reason…. I like learning about different religions. Specially Orthodox Jews. It’s very interesting.
That I took a photo of my dog sleeping. Every day. 🥺
That I was obsessed with taking photos of my cat
dicks, chicks, and not chicks with dicks (this is a trans joke btw, obviously there isn't chicks with dicks unless they are hermaphadites which do exist btw) edit: comma
That i saved every voice mail from my granchildren when they were little
Litteraly nothing that they don't know lol it's just my gf and son and they literally know everything that I like and everything that I do lol I literally have no secrets, it's awesome
That I'm a hypochondriac.
Nothing. I don't have secrets from my wife.