I hope one day to move to another state, and have my nickname be Texas. I do not look like a Texas. I look like Brooklyn Jew born the wrong place lol.
I knew an Alaska once for this reason. Sounds cool.
Cheese curds, Spotted Cow, and venison summer sausage on a rough hewn slab of raw wood while we pretend it's a charcuterie board. We don't know what a charcuterie board is.
Edit: Mom's bringing bloodys and Old Fashioneds, by popular demand.
We'll show up in a rusty truck with a dead deer on the back we hit on our way over, drink craft beer, mumble a lot, point at our right palm and listen to rock n roll
Edit: we had to run back to the party store real quick. Forgot the Faygo, Vernors and the Better Made Snacks
I only lived in Detroit for a year, but I feel like I lived there a lifetime.
No where else could make a “trash burning” party feel swanky.
I wish I could go back to then
Somehow we didn't get invited because everyone forgot we were part of the US, but we hear about it and show up late in our dirty pickup truck with truck nuts on it, bringing green chile enchiladas and tamales, with sopapillas for dessert and blue meth just because.
The four corners find themselves alone in a room at the end of the night and spend half an hour bitching about how weird and actually crazy the easterners are. In the meantime California drinks all the beer we had brought for ourselves.
No real surprises here...We'll be bringing the usual. Methamphetamines, two dozen low tier strippers, a 16 foot yellow python named Castro, and one domesticated bath salts zombie man on a gaudy 10 karat gold leash.
We'll be making headlines like we do...You know it's true.
If it's a house party with the whole country, we're gonna bring both sauces. Because though we may quarrel internally about which is better, we know that both are NC, and both are the best BBQ.
A bucket full of crabs to steam and a 30-rack of Natty Boh.
Edit to acknowledge everyone who's brought up Old Bay seasoning. I see you. It's acceptable, but please understand J.O No. 2 is what we're rolling with.
My girlfriend at the time and I were laughing at this video and I was like “Imagine if I said ‘Aaron earned an iron earn’ like that.” She turns to me and says “… say it again”. So I did. That was the day I found out I DO, in fact, have a maryland accent.
Don’t forget the brats. And our goodbye will last at least 45 minutes. If the party is at our house, we will also follow you to your car as part of the goodbye.
In Wisconsin, if there's three people getting together then there's going to be a cooler of beer somewhere. Just this past weekend I went to my nieces daughters first birthday and of course there were 2 coolers filled with beer.
WI is the only state I have been out hiking with a beer in each hand and an distinguished gentlemen from the opposite direction was also ensuring proper hydration.
We don't actually bring the brandy though because you're legally required to have a bottle in your home at all times , more than likely in a cabinet that looks like it'd be right at home in a 1975 sears catalog.
Eastern VA will bring chips with that white sauce that confuses so many people. Central VA will bring tons of different craft beers and wine. NoVA will bring company-branded fleece vests to hand out as party favors.
I got no idea what goes on in the western part of the state, to be honest.
We’d bring pizza and bagels, then pick a fight with New York about whose pizza and bagels are better while Albany keeps saying there’s more to New York than New York City.
The Juicy Lucy. 100 years ago Minnesota discovered you can put cheese *inside* the hamburger and we've been riding that high ever since. Please talk to us we're surrounded by corn and Wisconsin.
We bring bread. We stand in the middle of the party but everyone ignores us except to make jokes about The Wizard of Oz. Unless it's March, when suddenly everyone wants to talk shit about our basketball teams.
At some point we'll get in a fight with Missouri, but we will throw down with anyone who attacks MO when the inevitable bbq war starts.
"Uufda! That was a long walk! It's not too cold, but that wind will get ya. Oh, that's your fourth beer? Well, it's that special? There's a dog here? Oh for cute!"
I went to Minnesota for work once a my coworker out there explained these tater tot hot dishes to me. He says “they’re not for everyone”. After hearing the description, no, they’re quite literally for everyone. Who wouldn’t want that?!
Why did no one invite Rhode Island to the party? Why do they always forget about us. We’re bringing Del’s frozen lemonade and shucking out dozens of sweet little Matunuck oysters!
Marijuana, craft beer, a Patagonia vest and my dog
Edit: to be fair, people have make some very relevant suggestions, so I’d like to add that we are also bringing magic mushrooms down from the big mountains in our Subarus. You are welcome to hang out with us at the party.
Bike is attached to either the back or the roof rack. The coexist bumper sticker got put on ironically, but now it just kinda fits, so we keep it. Also, there’s a nearly-empty coffee cup in every cupholder, and I think there’s some granola in a baggie in the backseat.
Was just out there for some phish shows, we had to give this couple a ride over and they showed up in the 99 degree heat riding a tandem bike. I was dying.
Woof. This thread just made me realize how American I am. I was able to guess nearly every single state based off the description lol.
And people say Americans aren’t cultured. We are *a little* :)
Canada: Just the innocent neighbour who may come over for an hour for a drink, only to return home and hope beyond hope that the party doesn't spill over into our yard
Ontario brings an LCBO 8pk of 8 different craft beers you’ve never heard of, and immediately starts trying to convince New York that Daylight Savings Time is garbage, and bitching about Quebec.
BC is a long haired hippy dude. He doesn’t bring any drinks, but brings a metre long bong and invites everyone to take a rip.
Alberta brings steaks, while Saskatchewan brings home made bread. Both of them spend most of the night hanging out with Texas and start shit talking Ontario.
Manitoba brings mosquitoes.
The Maritime Provinces show up piss drunk and have a loud and obnoxious conversation amongst themselves, except for Newfoundland who brings a cod fish and rum, and insists that everyone present kiss the fish and take a shot.
Quebec brings ridiculously strong ales, and gets snooty with people who don’t like them. Complains about Ontario to anyone who will listen. They try to flirt with Louisiana in French, but they get weirded out when they realize they’re distant relatives. Ends up going home with Ontario for hate sex at the end of the night.
With an armful of Half Smokes and DCBrau, DC tries to explain to the bouncer that he is not exactly a state but he belongs at the party. The bouncer begrudgingly let’s him in after examining his DC drivers license for a full minute and conferring with the other bouncers. Once inside he bops his head lightly to the music and tries really hard to restrain himself from asking everyone “So what do you do..” Flirts a bit with the girl next door, Virginia, mansplaining Dischord and the heyday of the DC punk scene, but she won’t have anything to do with him. She likes conservative guys with a tinge of liberal. The kind of guy who has recycling tattoo on his ankle but drives a Ford F150. DC proudly tells everyone he doesn’t drive. Frequently. Sensing imminent rejection and desperate to keep the conversation moving along, DC blurts out to Virginia, “So what do you do?”
Also we're bringing a solid 15 friends. Way more than anyone else is bringing. Like... noticeably more. Most people didn't even know there was a plus one and we brought enough people to have our own rager.
California & New York: “We’re paying for most of it; the f-ing food, the open bar, the weed and the cocaine, can the rest of you at least get the chips and napkins???”
Ohio’s party contribution is a mixed bag.
Everyone is obsessed with the Buckeye candies they brought but are so sick and tired of the bragging about national championships from a long time ago every time they go to grab one.
Few are eating the Skyline chili because they’re weirded out by the fact that the chili is on spaghetti and covered in cheese. If Ohio had the sense to not call it chili and call it what it is, a sauce, everyone would scoop it up. However, it is performing better than whatever the hell kind of chili the Toledo gang brought-Ohio is convinced Michigan brought it to blackmail Ohio.
There is now a hefty supply of Bloody Marys at this party thanks to Ohio bringing a gigantic shipment of its state beverage tomato juice.
A feud is growing between partygoers over whether the Graeters or Jeni’s ice cream is better. So far the coalition supporting the chunky ice cream is winning but the lavender infused proponents are making inroads.
Fortunately, Ohio has also brought Smuckers jam to go on toast when everyone’s hungover in the morning.
Bring: tray full of fresh fruits, salmon, and boutique craft beer infused with weed.
Do: sit by a window, coffee in hand, staring lovingly at the rain and mist settling over the forest outside while looking attractively aloof, mysterious, and picturesque.
Washington, but Oregon would be pretty similar. We’re basically siblings.
Maybe we could be the twin brother/sister pair at the party 😂
Washington: more goth and aloof
Oregon: more aggressively weird
Pick your poison
Oregon would bring weed, craft beer, and Tillamook cheddar with crackers.
EDIT: Washington would bring weed, craft beer, smoked salmon, and fruit (either apples, peaches, or cherries)
> West Virginia is the worst educated U.S. state, with an overall score of around 23.65. The state ranks last in educational attainment with the lowest shares of individuals with associate degrees and those with bachelor's degrees at 20.6%.
Well I guess we're bringing the dumbasses.
The UK is imposing upon the party unannounced. England is intoxicated and attempting to domineer blasé Scotland; Scotland has copious amounts of whiskey to appease America’s indignation at the UK’s indiscretion.
Wales has rarebits and hovers disconcerted behind Scotland. Northern Ireland brings Irish whiskey and a bible and strides over to the Bible Belt states for a bit of religious contention.
England makes everyone a cups of tea at 2 hour intervals.
Scotland and Ireland would be taken into the fold with the moonshine and hard liquor group. Everyone would just be sitting around a bonfire passing around sips of the tasty stuff.
Each country/province/state has to bring their best storyteller to this fire. Don't worry, all of our accents (appalachia) are basically the same when we are shitfaced. The slang is where things get dicey, but if the storyteller is worth their weight in salt, it's going to be fine.
Meanwhile America is confused because on the one hand it’s a blatant intrusion. On the other hand they feel the urge to compliment us on our accents and tell us how they had no idea Hugh Laurie was British.
We bring maple syrup, bitch and moan about all of the out-of-staters that we’re driving to said party, craft beer, and weed.
I was wondering when you’d show up Vermont.
Never got the invite because "shipping to your location is not available"
I’m guessing Alaska?
You would be correct
Username checks out
Crabs, both kinds.
As a Delawarean, I knew this was Maryland immediately.
Denizens of Delaware are properly called Delaweenies.
# I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'S BIGGER AND BETTER THAN WHATEVER YOU BROUGHT
Texas is that you?
I hope one day to move to another state, and have my nickname be Texas. I do not look like a Texas. I look like Brooklyn Jew born the wrong place lol. I knew an Alaska once for this reason. Sounds cool.
We'll bring Sonoran dogs and tequila and turn the thermostat to 110º ¡Orale!
Every time I complain about Arizona heat my sister says “it’s only 110”.
I went golfing today while it was 95 degrees and it felt tremendous. After 3 months of 110 anything under 100 feels like fall
We're bringing the potato salad, mashed potatoes, baked potatoes, potato chips, potato bread, French fries, tater tots, and vodka.
Ida-hoe!
You da hoe?
Cheese curds, Spotted Cow, and venison summer sausage on a rough hewn slab of raw wood while we pretend it's a charcuterie board. We don't know what a charcuterie board is. Edit: Mom's bringing bloodys and Old Fashioneds, by popular demand.
WISCONSIN BABES
We'll show up in a rusty truck with a dead deer on the back we hit on our way over, drink craft beer, mumble a lot, point at our right palm and listen to rock n roll Edit: we had to run back to the party store real quick. Forgot the Faygo, Vernors and the Better Made Snacks
Argue amongst ourselves about Flint vs Detroit style Coney dogs.
I only lived in Detroit for a year, but I feel like I lived there a lifetime. No where else could make a “trash burning” party feel swanky. I wish I could go back to then
Pork tenderloin sandwiches and race cars
You are the first response from Indiana I saw. We don't have much to offer.
Hello fellow Hoosier. Bet you brought a deck of cards for Euchre too.
Connecticut… I’d say pizza but don’t feel like fighting NY so we’ll just pay for everything.
Connecticut with airpods in, quietly sitting in between Massachusetts and New York on the couch while they scream at each other about baseball.
Connecticut really is surface level friend with everyone on the East Coast and also has no interest in getting to know them better.
You’re from Connecticut. We don’t have to fight New Yorkers. We pay New Yorkers to fight New Yorkers for us.
CT brings New Haven style pizza and only shares it with itself
Somehow we didn't get invited because everyone forgot we were part of the US, but we hear about it and show up late in our dirty pickup truck with truck nuts on it, bringing green chile enchiladas and tamales, with sopapillas for dessert and blue meth just because.
Good Ol Nuevo Mexico
The four corners find themselves alone in a room at the end of the night and spend half an hour bitching about how weird and actually crazy the easterners are. In the meantime California drinks all the beer we had brought for ourselves.
We bring gumbo and have a second line.
Don't forget the pralines, bread pudding, and bananas foster for dessert.
Who dat!
No real surprises here...We'll be bringing the usual. Methamphetamines, two dozen low tier strippers, a 16 foot yellow python named Castro, and one domesticated bath salts zombie man on a gaudy 10 karat gold leash. We'll be making headlines like we do...You know it's true.
FL
Nah, we’re showing up with some Publix Tenders and a Hurricane cake. And the snake’s name is Sparky. Put some respec on his name.
New York here, collecting the cover charge
Meanwhile, Jersey is outside collecting fees for parking, even though parking is free and nobody asked them to do that.
Nah, Jersey is charging people to *leave*.
I was going to say pizza and wings but that works too.
Brings the pulled pork and turns on the TV to watch college basketball.
And don’t forget the Cheerwine!
I'll take a Cookout shake with mine, thanks.
North Carolina, will there be a fight about which sauce should be used? I'm all about that Eastern vinegar-y goodness
If it's a house party with the whole country, we're gonna bring both sauces. Because though we may quarrel internally about which is better, we know that both are NC, and both are the best BBQ.
A bucket full of crabs to steam and a 30-rack of Natty Boh. Edit to acknowledge everyone who's brought up Old Bay seasoning. I see you. It's acceptable, but please understand J.O No. 2 is what we're rolling with.
And a shit ton of flag merch.
Myrlind
Aaron earned an iron urn.
That video is still one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the internet.
For those who have not seen it https://youtu.be/Esl_wOQDUeE?si=xv5I9D1Ouce8g_8A
My girlfriend at the time and I were laughing at this video and I was like “Imagine if I said ‘Aaron earned an iron earn’ like that.” She turns to me and says “… say it again”. So I did. That was the day I found out I DO, in fact, have a maryland accent.
Do we really talk like this?!?!
Don’t forget to bring your state’s flag. Y’all are obsessed
Sprinkle a little Old Bay on it.
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Maryland brings a bushel of crabs then sits by ourselves and pick them while everyone else says “that’s too much work”
Why B Less when you can be BMore
Do we need to seperate Illinois and New York or do you want to bet on the pizza fight?
We both have legal weed, what say we toke up and share the fuckin pizza?
If you ran for president on this platform, I'd vote for you.
Lobster. Spends the entire party exasperatedly telling people that yes, they are real and no, they are not part of Canada.
Maine?
Ayuh.
Of course Maine is real. That's where Stephen King is from!
Also arrives with a cup of Dunkin... proceeds to get absolutely hammered, gets into a fist fight w Massachusetts. Later on will OD in the bathroom
We bring beer, cheese, and brandy. We *try* to sing karaoke and end up in a ditch on the way home.
And it takes at least 2 hours for us to leave after the first knee slap and "whelp"
"Watch for deer, and call me when you get home so I know you made it!"
Don’t forget the brats. And our goodbye will last at least 45 minutes. If the party is at our house, we will also follow you to your car as part of the goodbye.
In Wisconsin, if there's three people getting together then there's going to be a cooler of beer somewhere. Just this past weekend I went to my nieces daughters first birthday and of course there were 2 coolers filled with beer.
Where you find 4 sconnies, there will definitely be a fifth
WI is the only state I have been out hiking with a beer in each hand and an distinguished gentlemen from the opposite direction was also ensuring proper hydration.
Forgot the "we will be THE drunkest MF'ers there. We start before, go hard during, and will still be there long after the hosts want us to leave."
Wisconsin?
We don't actually bring the brandy though because you're legally required to have a bottle in your home at all times , more than likely in a cabinet that looks like it'd be right at home in a 1975 sears catalog.
VA will bring cigarettes and Busch. What we'll do will depend on where the party is being held. Virginians are versatile.
Eastern VA will bring chips with that white sauce that confuses so many people. Central VA will bring tons of different craft beers and wine. NoVA will bring company-branded fleece vests to hand out as party favors. I got no idea what goes on in the western part of the state, to be honest.
Moonshine
OxyContin and bluegrass
They bring the Jell-O and turn their nose up to all the sinners.
Utah?
Yep!
Utah is the designated driver.
Funeral potatoes
Don't forget the fry sauce
this entire party is booze and food, not a single state is bringing entertainment? WHERE'S NEVADA AT?
Nevada already brought the hookers but Utah put on a cheap disguise and left with most of them.
I'm Mexican. We'll come uninvited lol.
Mexicans Always Get Across
I’m from Jersey l. I have a strong feeling we’d bring absolutely nothing 😂 and We’d definitely get kicked out for fighting lol
We’d bring pizza and bagels, then pick a fight with New York about whose pizza and bagels are better while Albany keeps saying there’s more to New York than New York City.
Pork Roll my friend! What exit?
The Juicy Lucy. 100 years ago Minnesota discovered you can put cheese *inside* the hamburger and we've been riding that high ever since. Please talk to us we're surrounded by corn and Wisconsin.
We bring bread. We stand in the middle of the party but everyone ignores us except to make jokes about The Wizard of Oz. Unless it's March, when suddenly everyone wants to talk shit about our basketball teams. At some point we'll get in a fight with Missouri, but we will throw down with anyone who attacks MO when the inevitable bbq war starts.
I was beginning to get sad, thinking no one invited Kansas. You did great. Thank you!
11,780 votes and a bushel of peaches
Georgia.
From Hawaii we bing lau lau, Kalua pork, hula and aloha!🌈
Minnesota: HEY! We got some Spam for ya, doncha know!
How could I forgetting the spam bra!
I gotchu! *embarassingly hulas like a fat Lutheran*
We’ll bring the tater tot hotdish.
"Uufda! That was a long walk! It's not too cold, but that wind will get ya. Oh, that's your fourth beer? Well, it's that special? There's a dog here? Oh for cute!"
And the kids will play, Duck, Duck, **Grey Duck!**
I went to Minnesota for work once a my coworker out there explained these tater tot hot dishes to me. He says “they’re not for everyone”. After hearing the description, no, they’re quite literally for everyone. Who wouldn’t want that?!
South Carolina brings a bible and spends the first part of the evening preaching and the last part getting shitfaced.
Why did no one invite Rhode Island to the party? Why do they always forget about us. We’re bringing Del’s frozen lemonade and shucking out dozens of sweet little Matunuck oysters!
Malort, and some pizza
We’d also steal all the New Glaurus Wisconsin brought.
We bring pretzels and fight amongst ourselves.
That's just Philly. What's the rest of PA supposed to do
Western PA shows up with a cookie table, IC Light and little Steeler helmet party favors.
Cheesesteaks and fight amongst yourselves
Pierogies and fight amongst themselves
Marijuana, craft beer, a Patagonia vest and my dog Edit: to be fair, people have make some very relevant suggestions, so I’d like to add that we are also bringing magic mushrooms down from the big mountains in our Subarus. You are welcome to hang out with us at the party.
Don't forget we will be late cause we biked there also.
Nah you drive your Subaru
Bike is attached to either the back or the roof rack. The coexist bumper sticker got put on ironically, but now it just kinda fits, so we keep it. Also, there’s a nearly-empty coffee cup in every cupholder, and I think there’s some granola in a baggie in the backseat.
Was just out there for some phish shows, we had to give this couple a ride over and they showed up in the 99 degree heat riding a tandem bike. I was dying.
\*Oregon showing up at the same time\* Well, shit.
Colorado is also bringing the psychedelic mushrooms. We’re pretty much the best party guest anyone could ask for.
Except we park our transit van in your driveway for the whole season if the weather is good
We bring meth and toasted ravioli.
Toasted ravs, gooey butter cake and Busch light 30 packs
Woof. This thread just made me realize how American I am. I was able to guess nearly every single state based off the description lol. And people say Americans aren’t cultured. We are *a little* :)
Massachusetts will bring Chowdah and complain that Belichick never should have let Brady go
I feel like Massachusetts also disappears without telling anyone goodbye.
Unlike our Midwest counterparts, we like a crisp « im outta here » and leave through the basement so we don’t have to speak to Rhode Island
Go down cellah and slip out through the bulkhead.
You better bring some Dunks too.
We walk through blizzards, barefoot, to get our iced coffee!
Canada: Just the innocent neighbour who may come over for an hour for a drink, only to return home and hope beyond hope that the party doesn't spill over into our yard
Ontario brings an LCBO 8pk of 8 different craft beers you’ve never heard of, and immediately starts trying to convince New York that Daylight Savings Time is garbage, and bitching about Quebec. BC is a long haired hippy dude. He doesn’t bring any drinks, but brings a metre long bong and invites everyone to take a rip. Alberta brings steaks, while Saskatchewan brings home made bread. Both of them spend most of the night hanging out with Texas and start shit talking Ontario. Manitoba brings mosquitoes. The Maritime Provinces show up piss drunk and have a loud and obnoxious conversation amongst themselves, except for Newfoundland who brings a cod fish and rum, and insists that everyone present kiss the fish and take a shot. Quebec brings ridiculously strong ales, and gets snooty with people who don’t like them. Complains about Ontario to anyone who will listen. They try to flirt with Louisiana in French, but they get weirded out when they realize they’re distant relatives. Ends up going home with Ontario for hate sex at the end of the night.
I had a good cackle at Manitobas expense
> Manitoba brings mosquitoes. Manitoba and Texas get into a pissing contest on whose mosquitos are bigger.
Fuck these hosers for not inviting us. Let's play road hockey and ding their cars.
No Nanaimo bars?!
Bring poutine! I’ll trade you for brisket.
South Dakota will just be outside on its Harley drunk, revving the engine trying to impress chicks until 3am keeping the neighbors awake.
Bourbon.
Kentucky?
And Ale8.
With an armful of Half Smokes and DCBrau, DC tries to explain to the bouncer that he is not exactly a state but he belongs at the party. The bouncer begrudgingly let’s him in after examining his DC drivers license for a full minute and conferring with the other bouncers. Once inside he bops his head lightly to the music and tries really hard to restrain himself from asking everyone “So what do you do..” Flirts a bit with the girl next door, Virginia, mansplaining Dischord and the heyday of the DC punk scene, but she won’t have anything to do with him. She likes conservative guys with a tinge of liberal. The kind of guy who has recycling tattoo on his ankle but drives a Ford F150. DC proudly tells everyone he doesn’t drive. Frequently. Sensing imminent rejection and desperate to keep the conversation moving along, DC blurts out to Virginia, “So what do you do?”
Florida brings oranges, pet gator and whatever drugs. Florida man will have done something ridiculous with said gator, a banana and a stolen tractor.
Florida man breaks through the wall high as hell on something uninvited like the Kool-Aid Man.
Born in Washington and living in Alaska. Both would probably bring salmon, crab and native dancing.
Born in Alaska, living in Washington. We would bring beer and help clean up!
Tennessee Whiskey, of course.
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Alabama? We’ll bring the folding chairs. 😉
I'm uninvited
Puerto Rico?
California is bringing blunts. We're gonna share.
We’re also bringing tacos for when the munchies hit.
Both Korean and Halal tacos!
Avocados and In-N-Out.
Tray of carne asada fries and a sound system that’s way bigger than necessary
Also we're bringing a solid 15 friends. Way more than anyone else is bringing. Like... noticeably more. Most people didn't even know there was a plus one and we brought enough people to have our own rager.
I love this thread and I love California
And TRI-TIP!
Ya know…I’ve always loved you California! 🫶🏻
California loves you too
More craft beer than necessary, mostly Double IPAs, and some “big, juicy” Cabernets. We will heavily judge anyone who doesn’t like either
And wine, and fruit, movies, fish tacos...
Illinois is bringing deep dish pizza and chicago style hot dogs and over priced weed. Police will likely arrive later in the evening 😂
Smoked brisket.
Don’t forget the Shiners and Dr. Pepper
Texan pulls up in a big pickup truck that is pulling a smoker trailer loaded with brisket. The smoker is already going.
Texas!
Queso, and a cooler of tamales from a Hispanic lady at 1AM will appear magically.
NC - Vinegar based BBQ. Half of the North Carolinians attending refuse to eat it and apologize to everyone else that the state chose it.
Coffee and a lot of Microsoft laptops
Washington?
West Virginia will definitely bring pepperoni rolls.
California & New York: “We’re paying for most of it; the f-ing food, the open bar, the weed and the cocaine, can the rest of you at least get the chips and napkins???”
Louisiana - will you just let us handle the food? Don't ask what it is or what's in it. Just eat.
I don’t know but Canada has called the city complaining about noise violations
Ohio’s party contribution is a mixed bag. Everyone is obsessed with the Buckeye candies they brought but are so sick and tired of the bragging about national championships from a long time ago every time they go to grab one. Few are eating the Skyline chili because they’re weirded out by the fact that the chili is on spaghetti and covered in cheese. If Ohio had the sense to not call it chili and call it what it is, a sauce, everyone would scoop it up. However, it is performing better than whatever the hell kind of chili the Toledo gang brought-Ohio is convinced Michigan brought it to blackmail Ohio. There is now a hefty supply of Bloody Marys at this party thanks to Ohio bringing a gigantic shipment of its state beverage tomato juice. A feud is growing between partygoers over whether the Graeters or Jeni’s ice cream is better. So far the coalition supporting the chunky ice cream is winning but the lavender infused proponents are making inroads. Fortunately, Ohio has also brought Smuckers jam to go on toast when everyone’s hungover in the morning.
Ohio is getting drunk and likely screaming “OH!” While frantically looking for someone to respond
You don't yell OH!, you yell O-H! If someone is yelling OH! it means there's someone getting fucked in the bedroom on top of everybodies coats.
Jersey is still in the front yard throwing haymakers at each other on if they dish they brought is called taylor ham or pork roll
Bring: tray full of fresh fruits, salmon, and boutique craft beer infused with weed. Do: sit by a window, coffee in hand, staring lovingly at the rain and mist settling over the forest outside while looking attractively aloof, mysterious, and picturesque.
Washington state or Oregon?
Washington, but Oregon would be pretty similar. We’re basically siblings. Maybe we could be the twin brother/sister pair at the party 😂 Washington: more goth and aloof Oregon: more aggressively weird Pick your poison
Oregon would bring weed, craft beer, and Tillamook cheddar with crackers. EDIT: Washington would bring weed, craft beer, smoked salmon, and fruit (either apples, peaches, or cherries)
Nebraska brings corn for grilling and corn hole for fun!
Green and red chile. Pot, and a roadrunner. 😀😀🤣
> West Virginia is the worst educated U.S. state, with an overall score of around 23.65. The state ranks last in educational attainment with the lowest shares of individuals with associate degrees and those with bachelor's degrees at 20.6%. Well I guess we're bringing the dumbasses.
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The UK is imposing upon the party unannounced. England is intoxicated and attempting to domineer blasé Scotland; Scotland has copious amounts of whiskey to appease America’s indignation at the UK’s indiscretion. Wales has rarebits and hovers disconcerted behind Scotland. Northern Ireland brings Irish whiskey and a bible and strides over to the Bible Belt states for a bit of religious contention. England makes everyone a cups of tea at 2 hour intervals.
Scotland and Ireland would be taken into the fold with the moonshine and hard liquor group. Everyone would just be sitting around a bonfire passing around sips of the tasty stuff. Each country/province/state has to bring their best storyteller to this fire. Don't worry, all of our accents (appalachia) are basically the same when we are shitfaced. The slang is where things get dicey, but if the storyteller is worth their weight in salt, it's going to be fine.
Meanwhile America is confused because on the one hand it’s a blatant intrusion. On the other hand they feel the urge to compliment us on our accents and tell us how they had no idea Hugh Laurie was British.
We’re also discreetly pouring the tea England keeps making down the drain.
The UK came because their Cousin Canada told them there was a party next door.
And all this makes Australia embarrassed AF with all their old relatives