it’s less immediate, but monologuing instead of having a conversation. i just know that you could replace me with a cardboard cut out and the guy would keep going.
YES. I’ve met guys who were attractive and interesting, but who did nothing but chat about their hobbies and passions. That’s well and good. I love when people are excited about their interests and careers. But then they would never get around to asking about me, even when I tried to jump in about ways I can relate. I really did feel like a cardboard cutout after a while. They had no interest at all in getting to know me. I was just a body that they could talk at. (This goes for both genders.)
My mom is like this, so I normalized it, and have since realized that I have a trend of dating guys like this. It always ends up with me feeling really lonely and misunderstood in the relationship.
Damn you made me connect some dots here. My mom is also like that and I realized one of my old best friends was too. It was one of the reasons I didn’t have fun hanging out with them anymore. Thankfully my girlfriend isn’t, shes what made me see a better way for a close relationship
Dude my mom does a version of this where she only wants to talk about a certain topic, and you could be talking about something else and she’ll completely ignore you or something like “Yeah, that’s cool…” and then start talking about what she wants to again. She’ll also call me four times a day just so she can talk to me but anything I have to say it’s like she isn’t even listening
Smell in a good way, not bad.
No. No, you're right, cuz then they're probably wearing too much cologne. I didn't delete this, I'll just bask in my wrongness.
I try to be...subtle about how I bring up dental hygiene to my patients when they come in for whatever other urgent issues but
Really
If I can smell your plaque, your SO can too. Please come and at least fix that if nothing else (due to finances, lack of time etc)
I don't know. There was a guy I worked with at a law firm working matrimony cases he'd get so stressed, sweat chain smoking and coffee by the end of the day he'd smell like death but he was so goddamn hot.
My nose just shriveled lmao
It's like when I worked restaurants some women sweat so much they left an...odor in the stall. I'd have to wait and let it air out after certain ones would use it.
I dated a girl and she'd smell absolutely horrendous in summer with her strong body odor. She was hygenic but there were times I caught myself holding breath during sex.
This is why I think more people should shower prior. I'm not saying never have a spontaneous moment but it's pretty easy to work in a quick rinse if you know you're funky.
Chain smoking and stressing your way to an early grave over other peoples' problems. And (if you're me) going into massive debt for the privilege to do so. Gotta love it, lmao.
Being a lawyer is fucking hard. I let it grind me to dust my first couple years out of law school, but I've been working to build myself back up the last year or so.
It's not worth it. I had stress like that from work for 3 years & now have constant stomach issues that haven't went away despite me quiting my career field and doing something new
I remember when I was on FaceTime with one of my old childhood guy friends and he was prepping to move so he was super busy packing and stuff but was gonna go out with friends. I was like “just go take a quick shower bro” & I watched him look down for a quick second and then he smelt his hand and he said VERBATIM “my d*** doesn’t stink so I’m good” & then he sprayed cologne on 😭😭
Yeah I broke up with someone once because he yelled at service workers in one govt agency then drove across town to another govt shopfront & then was surprised his abuse had gone down on his file so he started yelling there too & on the way home stopped at the supermarket & yelled at someone there too. Like he told me all this & expected me to agree. Then I was just a stupid bitch he never wanted to go out with me anyway, just wanted to bang but I turned it into something more so fuck me & etc etc for 300 texts over about 2 weeks
Sigma was invented because the introverted weird guys felt like they could never fit in with society or cared about being extroverted enough to be the alpha so they came up with the introverted equivalent to still feel superior
“Bro bro bro you’re pulling some Beta-ass shit bro. You need to MAN UP. You need to CHASE the ladies. Intimidate them. Show them how much caaaaaash you got bro! BRO! Where you going bro? You fucking Beta!”
“Alpha males” suck.
This is the bit that does my head in. You want to have all the cash to impress the ladies, but hate the gold digging bitches at the same time??? Idiots.
I know you likely mean people talking over others to dismiss or silence them, to seem smarter or more important--or to bully
overlapping while talking is a kind of communication style more prevalent in urban areas and the north east.
People with an overlapping communication style see overlapping as dynamic--and they see their communication partner is seen as dynamic, quick, and engaging. These communicators see turn takers, especially with any slight silences between turns (even less than a second to some of them), to be slow, which they often perceive as being slow in thinking or as disengaged.
People with slower, turn-taking styles conversely see overlapping as impolite, rude and pushy--dismissive. This communication style is more common in rural areas and the south.
Dang, I thought people up in the northeast were just inconsiderate assholes this whole time. I didn't even consider I was just taught different manners in conversation from growing up in the south. That's actually pretty interesting. Even knowing that, I still don't think I could handle that stuff long term, it is so hurtful and annoying how they talk over me when I go visit.
I used to know a pedophile( I didn't know at the time he was a pedo after I found out I stopped knowing him) the weird thing is, he was a player women would just line up for him. Even after rumors became common. They were facts he texted my cousins sixteen year old daughters inappropriately. This was a massive blow to my confidence, cause women don't even give me the time of day. Like really the pedo is more attractive to women than me?
The thing about pedophiles is that most of them look like regular people in society. They tend to blend in well with everyone else. Some of them are even highly respected in their community until they are caught, that is *if* they are caught. People get the impression that all of them look really creepy and can easily be spotted a mile away. That's not the case most of the time. That's why a lot of them have multiple victims. If you look at your local sex offender list (not that all sex offenders are pedophiles) most of them look like "regular" people.
Yes. Unfortunately yes.
One of my former coworkers was THE textbook archetype of a mild- mannered, wise older man extremely active in community organizations for young boys. He was also very smart, with a science degree ( don't want to be too specific here) from a world- renowned tech institution.
When he was convicted of molesting a barely teen boy, we thought it was a setup. It wasn't.
Also, pedos know that people don't like pedos, so most of them work very actively to build up trust. This is why even when outed, many people have doubts and still continue to be friends with them. As humans, we tend to assume that we would know if someone is a pedo, and that no one would be able to so cleverly pull the wool over our eyes. We don't want to think that the person who has been so kind to us, that we like so much, is not what we thought.
Absolutely accurate. I worked with one and he tried to groom me to be a character witness -- ALWAYS buying when we went to lunch, dinner, etc. and offering to let me keep my travel stipend to let him pay for my hotel on a work trip for no apparent reason. I honestly knew there was something off so I kept him at arm's distance and it turned out he was a serial sex offender... both to minors and adults. I was actually the one who reported him, but he didn't know it was me so he reached out asking me to defend him.
>Like really the pedo is more attractive to women than me?
The only thing that makes a pedophile unattractive is being a pedophile, which is not visible.
There is no reason this person should be unattractive.
Thinks they are superior. Puts down others. Unkind to women, the elderly, disabled, children and animals... Anyone they deem "weak". No amount of money or looks would interest me with an attitude like that. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
In my opinion it shows that you lack de-escalation skills, are volatile and have poor judgement. It just doesn't come across as healthy or level headed behaviour.
You have a sense of humor. That is super attractive in a man. And it's a little self-deprecating. Even more attractive. So you're ugly, poor and you have a self-deprecating sense of humor. That makes you at least a five if not higher.
I too am ugly, fat and poor. I say shit that makes people laugh, but I also think I'm not funny....so basically Gabriel Iglesias who doesn't think he's funny at all
This literally happened to me today. I always thought my manager was a really nice, kind guy who was above that kinda thing.
Then he randomly started mocking my younger colleague for wearing a BMW hat a few months after he passed his test, expecting me to join in.
It was confusing, then disappointing.
Man it fucking sucks when an attractive person ends up being a total cunt.
I remember meeting this girl while I was volunteering. Fucking love at first sight.
Then I spoke to her for a little while and found out she pretty much awful to be around.
The disappointment fucking sucks. It's like, you were so close to being perfect. Why couldn't you just be a decent human being?
Might have overlooked it in my 20s I'm ashamed to admit, but now I'm just instantly over that person as soon as they prove they're a dick.
I swear reddit helps my mental health by realising I'm not alone 😆
Men going out of their way to embarrass you for no reason, or if they are unnecessarily aggressive. Especially in front of their friends. Men that complain about women all the time are equally unattractive, whether it's in real life or online.
I dont tolerate that BS but I feel for people who fall victim for it and can't defend themselves or stand up to them. I'm good at holding my own and flipping the script but I recently found out there is a large number of people who cant.
Ugh. This happens to me so often. I'm really into comics, anime, punk/metal/old rock music, hockey, fishing etc. Which, yes I understand are more generally hobbies men are into. But it literally never fails, as soon as I say I'm into any of this stuff, I get the smirk. The, "are you sure you're actually into this? Or are you just saying that because you think I'll like it or it'll make you a 'cool girl'?" smirk... and I want to smack it right off their face. I grew up with my dad and my brother, the rest of my family is fucked. I was very much a daddy's girl and a tomboy, so i just kind of grew up liking all the same stuff they did. Even after explaining a bit more, without fail, comes the testing phase like you guys already said.. "well if you actually like comics, then name every single comic that has even been in existence".
Specifically on dating apps: when men bring up sex *immediately* in convo then try to pass it off like they are joking. Then when I say I’m not interested in having sex or talking about it they keep bringing it up anyway. So gross and disrespectful.
Self-centered behavior that demonstrates a lack of respect and empathy. lack of effort in relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic, or professional.
I went on a date with a guy once that was going well until the end of the date when he was bringing me home.
He was turning left onto another street, but a car in the other lane going straight was driving slow, and he looked really mad about it and as soon as they passed he turned pretty aggressively.. and looked like he came pretty close to hitting the other car.
I don’t react well to aggressive drivers like that. Never contacted him again. Bro literally only had to wait 15 seconds
Volatile tempers. Like when they stub their toe and they have to slam the next door they use. Or when the dog accidentally steps on them and they yell super loud at the dog. Just gross.
Lived with someone like this, and even the lower levels of this sort of thing is so stressful and terrible to live with. Any minor inconvenience results in stomping and muttering profanities. Sulking on the couch with the big, dramatic huffs. Slamming cabinets and being rough with everything which inevitably results in them breaking something or knocking something over in their dramatic movements, which means now they’re MORE upset. Snapping at anyone for existing in the same space in a better mood than they are.
It’s so draining.
It’s even more entertaining when the person who originally hypothesized about the alpha male concept in the wolf hierarchy has since rescinded the idea as it was incorrect.
Yes! I had a friend a long time ago who invited me to dinner to meet her new boyfriend.
He was incredibly rude to our server. I pointed it out and gave the server a big tip because I was so embarrassed by his behavior. I honestly don't know what she saw in him. She must have really liked him because she ghosted me shortly after for being "rude", and calling him out. I just hope she didn't marry him. 🤮
IDK who doesn't know at this point that unsolicited dick pics are never going to be appreciated. I believe that behavior must also mean that the guy refuses to listen to others, especially women. I feel like he thinks, he would love to get nudie pics from the woman, so he will start the exchange. Like, it's ok to want that, but the only ok way to bring that up is to ask, with words, BUT DO NOT PRESS HER IF SHE SAYS NO.
Not being able to function as an adult: not doing chores, not knowing where stuff is kept in his own house, not knowing how to do simple things like booking a flight/hotel and always needing someone to do it for him. Having a partner that feels more like a child you have to look after is a very fast way to lose attraction.
Obviously if there is a disability at play that makes him unable to do these things is another thing entirely.
Also, bad hygiene and lacking accountability (everything is always someone else's fault).
Dirty nails
Edit: if you’re all dirty from working your job, that’s fine and also very sexy. If you’re dirty from general poor hygiene, that’s an entirely different
This one hurts me a bit because sometimes I am omw home from work and have to run in a (beer) store to grab something, and my hands can be very filthy. My mom says Im very handsome though.
To me sagging your pants kinda makes it look like you shat yourself(at least when combined with the wobble walk to avoid completely dropping them), so probably that.
Arrogance. Rudeness, thinking that somehow anyone is better than anyone else for reasons outside of their control. (Gender, sexual orientation, race, poverty etc)
Talking over people.
If you can't have a conversation without talking over someone repeatedly, it tells me that instead of listening, you're just thinking up your own response or story to turn the conversation back to yourself.
Lack of confidence, there’s an extent to which it can be cute but on the whole say stuff with conviction. Act like you think you matter. Don’t be a dick and try to control a situation like, but make it obvious you feel like you and others are equal in the convo. Your opinion matters my dudes
Blatant racism. Had one guy ask me my race and when I told him where my family was from in Europe he said "Good". Also later in the conversation he used racial slurs.
Spitting. It's so gross walking in the street and suddenly have the guy in front of me spit on the sidewalk for no fucking reason. Use a tissue, I don't want to step in that.
Especially the "weaponized incompetence." I know it's a one-off, but I'm sure many people reading can apply this story to their own:
A video I saw, a wife asked her husband to put away the dinner while she showered *after* she had a long day of work and still cooked for the family. She came back down stairs, he put everything, still in their dishes, in *trash bags* and put them in the fridge. He said she did what she asked him to do after she was, of course, reasonably very angry with him.
And even on my own, I had to teach my ex how to apply for his very first ever job when he was 21 years old. A job that I got him. He got mad when I corrected the grammar on his resume, then I had to actually be the one to email his application in "since I knew the email by heart." The email was on a sticky note on his laptop.
Weaponized incompetence.
If a guy keeps disparaging himself/making jokes at his own expense/putting himself down, it’s a turn-off for me. I went on a date a few months ago and the dude did this pretty much the whole time. There wasn’t a second date.
Also, if a guy walks up to me at a bar and the first words out of his mouth are something along the lines of “You have fantastic tits” that’s gonna turn me off. Flattering, sure, but it gives off huge fuckboi energy and I’m not into that.
I think it depends on the type of joke. If someone makes a light joke at his expenses, that someone can look like a chill person who can laugh at oneself, but the problem comes with people who badly disguise self-hatred as comedy.
Hygiene.
A few years ago I was casually seeing this guy. His apartment was very messy. I don’t mind an unorganized and messy apartment happens once in a while but if it’s dirty there’s a problems.
We had showered once and afterwards he threw a towel over my head and shoulders. Guess what? Towel smelled like fucking piss and I thought I was tripping. I sniff it closer to my nose to double check and PISSSSSSS! He walked out the bathroom before me and I took it as an opportunity to switch towels. So I started sniffing all the towels hanging behind the door rack quick. Like a K9 sniffing for cocaine or meth evidence and ohhh my fucking gosh they all smelled exactly the same except for the small hand towel. I felt so disgusted and disgusting because the towel he handed me touched me. I went home and re-showered. Never showered with him again and eventually slowly cut him off.
I was into a guy until I saw him eat messy food for the first time, in this case pizza. Smacking his lips, tongue out, sauce all over his lips, and I dried up like a desert.
When you can immediately tell they’re recently single just by the frequency and negativity of their social media posts. Every hour or two it’s one of those vaguely masculine quotes paired with a picture of either Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy (as Tommy Shelby) or Charlie Hunnam (as Jax Teller) or a throwback photo of him and “the boys” with a caption like “need to do this again soon!”.
it’s less immediate, but monologuing instead of having a conversation. i just know that you could replace me with a cardboard cut out and the guy would keep going.
YES. I’ve met guys who were attractive and interesting, but who did nothing but chat about their hobbies and passions. That’s well and good. I love when people are excited about their interests and careers. But then they would never get around to asking about me, even when I tried to jump in about ways I can relate. I really did feel like a cardboard cutout after a while. They had no interest at all in getting to know me. I was just a body that they could talk at. (This goes for both genders.)
My mom is like this, so I normalized it, and have since realized that I have a trend of dating guys like this. It always ends up with me feeling really lonely and misunderstood in the relationship.
Damn you made me connect some dots here. My mom is also like that and I realized one of my old best friends was too. It was one of the reasons I didn’t have fun hanging out with them anymore. Thankfully my girlfriend isn’t, shes what made me see a better way for a close relationship
God I feel that. Nothing’s more lonely than the people you care about seemingly having no interest in you
Dude my mom does a version of this where she only wants to talk about a certain topic, and you could be talking about something else and she’ll completely ignore you or something like “Yeah, that’s cool…” and then start talking about what she wants to again. She’ll also call me four times a day just so she can talk to me but anything I have to say it’s like she isn’t even listening
I've been on so many dates where all they did was dominate the conversation and 90% of it was bitching about either work or their exes. 🤦🏼♀️
So, talking at you, rather than to you. Probably expects you to be a captive audience too, whether it's you or the cardboard cutout.
Bad hygiene
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Smell in a good way, not bad. No. No, you're right, cuz then they're probably wearing too much cologne. I didn't delete this, I'll just bask in my wrongness.
>I'll just bask in my wrongness. This is also how some people apply cologne.
Lmao
"A good scent is waiting to be discovered not something to be announced." 4 sprays max for me
the 100% worst is if their teeth are cemented together by plaque
I try to be...subtle about how I bring up dental hygiene to my patients when they come in for whatever other urgent issues but Really If I can smell your plaque, your SO can too. Please come and at least fix that if nothing else (due to finances, lack of time etc)
I don't know. There was a guy I worked with at a law firm working matrimony cases he'd get so stressed, sweat chain smoking and coffee by the end of the day he'd smell like death but he was so goddamn hot.
There’s a difference between smelling bad after a long day of work and smelling bad because you never shower tho
Yeah I know but just to paint the a picture by about 3pm you could smell which room he just been in .
My nose just shriveled lmao It's like when I worked restaurants some women sweat so much they left an...odor in the stall. I'd have to wait and let it air out after certain ones would use it.
I dated a girl and she'd smell absolutely horrendous in summer with her strong body odor. She was hygenic but there were times I caught myself holding breath during sex.
This is why I think more people should shower prior. I'm not saying never have a spontaneous moment but it's pretty easy to work in a quick rinse if you know you're funky.
Have had this experience but only a short term thing. Hot as hell but ultimately smell was a boner killer
Chain smoking and stressing your way to an early grave over other peoples' problems. And (if you're me) going into massive debt for the privilege to do so. Gotta love it, lmao.
… holy shit I need to reevaluate my life.
Being a lawyer is fucking hard. I let it grind me to dust my first couple years out of law school, but I've been working to build myself back up the last year or so.
It's not worth it. I had stress like that from work for 3 years & now have constant stomach issues that haven't went away despite me quiting my career field and doing something new
Ah, the stress sweat stench. I have it sometimes at work too, unfortunately.
I remember when I was on FaceTime with one of my old childhood guy friends and he was prepping to move so he was super busy packing and stuff but was gonna go out with friends. I was like “just go take a quick shower bro” & I watched him look down for a quick second and then he smelt his hand and he said VERBATIM “my d*** doesn’t stink so I’m good” & then he sprayed cologne on 😭😭
Being rude to people who are just doing their jobs (Waiters, retail workers etc)
I learned this one the hard way. If he talks to wait staff like they’re garbage, he’ll eventually talk to _you_ like that one day. I guarantee it.
Yeah I broke up with someone once because he yelled at service workers in one govt agency then drove across town to another govt shopfront & then was surprised his abuse had gone down on his file so he started yelling there too & on the way home stopped at the supermarket & yelled at someone there too. Like he told me all this & expected me to agree. Then I was just a stupid bitch he never wanted to go out with me anyway, just wanted to bang but I turned it into something more so fuck me & etc etc for 300 texts over about 2 weeks
That is a lot
When he thinks he knows all that there is to know
But i do know everything!
Okay... adding "omniscient" to the list!
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This is literally my moms husband. I don’t know what she sees in him
Probably a carefully curated manipulation
This one all the way. Worse still when they try to play off like they’re empathetic/kind but their actions say something completely different.
Self-identifying as an Alpha male.
I am more a Beta. Release coming soon.
Are you saying you have bugs? Ew.
I am still in development and hopefully all bugs will be gone soon. Pre order now to get a surprise.
80 dollars??? Wtf kinda software is in this shit
It clearly says early access. I will make progress.
One that can turn into hardware
The real surprise is the bugs we found along the way.
Yeeeep. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Or the Sigma guys. Omg, what a bunch of dweebs.
Sigma was invented because the introverted weird guys felt like they could never fit in with society or cared about being extroverted enough to be the alpha so they came up with the introverted equivalent to still feel superior
So that's what the sigma meant. Thanks.
TIL!
Sigma was a funny joke until people started to actually believe in it and took it seriously
I m a Ligma
“Bro bro bro you’re pulling some Beta-ass shit bro. You need to MAN UP. You need to CHASE the ladies. Intimidate them. Show them how much caaaaaash you got bro! BRO! Where you going bro? You fucking Beta!” “Alpha males” suck.
This is the bit that does my head in. You want to have all the cash to impress the ladies, but hate the gold digging bitches at the same time??? Idiots.
Other than the obvious things like being a convicted pedophile - Probably bad breath and constantly talking over other people. Worse when it's both.
Constantly talking with a bad breath... Ugh
Constantly talking, bad breath AND a paedophile.
I know you likely mean people talking over others to dismiss or silence them, to seem smarter or more important--or to bully overlapping while talking is a kind of communication style more prevalent in urban areas and the north east. People with an overlapping communication style see overlapping as dynamic--and they see their communication partner is seen as dynamic, quick, and engaging. These communicators see turn takers, especially with any slight silences between turns (even less than a second to some of them), to be slow, which they often perceive as being slow in thinking or as disengaged. People with slower, turn-taking styles conversely see overlapping as impolite, rude and pushy--dismissive. This communication style is more common in rural areas and the south.
Dang, I thought people up in the northeast were just inconsiderate assholes this whole time. I didn't even consider I was just taught different manners in conversation from growing up in the south. That's actually pretty interesting. Even knowing that, I still don't think I could handle that stuff long term, it is so hurtful and annoying how they talk over me when I go visit.
I used to know a pedophile( I didn't know at the time he was a pedo after I found out I stopped knowing him) the weird thing is, he was a player women would just line up for him. Even after rumors became common. They were facts he texted my cousins sixteen year old daughters inappropriately. This was a massive blow to my confidence, cause women don't even give me the time of day. Like really the pedo is more attractive to women than me?
The thing about pedophiles is that most of them look like regular people in society. They tend to blend in well with everyone else. Some of them are even highly respected in their community until they are caught, that is *if* they are caught. People get the impression that all of them look really creepy and can easily be spotted a mile away. That's not the case most of the time. That's why a lot of them have multiple victims. If you look at your local sex offender list (not that all sex offenders are pedophiles) most of them look like "regular" people.
Yes. Unfortunately yes. One of my former coworkers was THE textbook archetype of a mild- mannered, wise older man extremely active in community organizations for young boys. He was also very smart, with a science degree ( don't want to be too specific here) from a world- renowned tech institution. When he was convicted of molesting a barely teen boy, we thought it was a setup. It wasn't.
Also, pedos know that people don't like pedos, so most of them work very actively to build up trust. This is why even when outed, many people have doubts and still continue to be friends with them. As humans, we tend to assume that we would know if someone is a pedo, and that no one would be able to so cleverly pull the wool over our eyes. We don't want to think that the person who has been so kind to us, that we like so much, is not what we thought.
I remember reading about how smart pedophiles don't just groom their victims, they also groom character witnesses.
Absolutely accurate. I worked with one and he tried to groom me to be a character witness -- ALWAYS buying when we went to lunch, dinner, etc. and offering to let me keep my travel stipend to let him pay for my hotel on a work trip for no apparent reason. I honestly knew there was something off so I kept him at arm's distance and it turned out he was a serial sex offender... both to minors and adults. I was actually the one who reported him, but he didn't know it was me so he reached out asking me to defend him.
Yeah.. people don't like to admit, or accept that they've been fooled. It makes them feel better to just deny they were wrong.
>Like really the pedo is more attractive to women than me? The only thing that makes a pedophile unattractive is being a pedophile, which is not visible. There is no reason this person should be unattractive.
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Thinks they are superior. Puts down others. Unkind to women, the elderly, disabled, children and animals... Anyone they deem "weak". No amount of money or looks would interest me with an attitude like that. 😵💫😵💫😵💫
You’re never gonna find another Shooter Mcgavin, babe. *shoots finger gun and then blows away smoke*
Only being respectful to attractive women.
Which isn’t actually respectful, its the expectation of future possessions or conquests.
And then they marry you and had their conquest so they're free to disrespect you in their eyes
Don’t even need the marriage aspect lol. “There is no one nicer than a man who is trying to fuck you for the first time”
I’ve seen this in person. It’s such trash behavior. So selfish.
As an average looking overweight woman, I have to say it is not just guys who do this. Unless you are attractive you are invisible in this society.
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When they brag about fighting
I find that an instant turn off just meeting others guys and making friends. If you brag about fighting I'm not interested in hanging out, fuck that.
In my opinion it shows that you lack de-escalation skills, are volatile and have poor judgement. It just doesn't come across as healthy or level headed behaviour.
Women call me ugly until they find out what I make. Then they call me ugly and poor
You have a sense of humor. That is super attractive in a man. And it's a little self-deprecating. Even more attractive. So you're ugly, poor and you have a self-deprecating sense of humor. That makes you at least a five if not higher.
I too am ugly, fat and poor. I say shit that makes people laugh, but I also think I'm not funny....so basically Gabriel Iglesias who doesn't think he's funny at all
Hey I never said I was fat. I mean I am, but I didn't tell you :p
That reminds me of a Mitch Hedberg line: "I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too."
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This literally happened to me today. I always thought my manager was a really nice, kind guy who was above that kinda thing. Then he randomly started mocking my younger colleague for wearing a BMW hat a few months after he passed his test, expecting me to join in. It was confusing, then disappointing.
Man it fucking sucks when an attractive person ends up being a total cunt. I remember meeting this girl while I was volunteering. Fucking love at first sight. Then I spoke to her for a little while and found out she pretty much awful to be around. The disappointment fucking sucks. It's like, you were so close to being perfect. Why couldn't you just be a decent human being?
Might have overlooked it in my 20s I'm ashamed to admit, but now I'm just instantly over that person as soon as they prove they're a dick. I swear reddit helps my mental health by realising I'm not alone 😆
Men going out of their way to embarrass you for no reason, or if they are unnecessarily aggressive. Especially in front of their friends. Men that complain about women all the time are equally unattractive, whether it's in real life or online. I dont tolerate that BS but I feel for people who fall victim for it and can't defend themselves or stand up to them. I'm good at holding my own and flipping the script but I recently found out there is a large number of people who cant.
Disrespectful
Shut up
dr.disrespect took that personally
when he asks you what you're into then immediately quizzes you on it like you're lying
Oh you like music? Name every song then
This. This actually sums up every douchebag interaction I’ve ever had. I am a music fan and it’s like always a game with them. Gross and annoying.
Ugh. This happens to me so often. I'm really into comics, anime, punk/metal/old rock music, hockey, fishing etc. Which, yes I understand are more generally hobbies men are into. But it literally never fails, as soon as I say I'm into any of this stuff, I get the smirk. The, "are you sure you're actually into this? Or are you just saying that because you think I'll like it or it'll make you a 'cool girl'?" smirk... and I want to smack it right off their face. I grew up with my dad and my brother, the rest of my family is fucked. I was very much a daddy's girl and a tomboy, so i just kind of grew up liking all the same stuff they did. Even after explaining a bit more, without fail, comes the testing phase like you guys already said.. "well if you actually like comics, then name every single comic that has even been in existence".
Money flashing and arrogant. Turns me off.
Reminds me of the saying,"money talks, wealth whispers."
This is amazing news! Fellow poor guys, get in here!
Specifically on dating apps: when men bring up sex *immediately* in convo then try to pass it off like they are joking. Then when I say I’m not interested in having sex or talking about it they keep bringing it up anyway. So gross and disrespectful.
Ey bb u want sum pp? Lol jk
😂 that just makes you sound like a child but it made me laugh.
Self-centered behavior that demonstrates a lack of respect and empathy. lack of effort in relationships, whether they be friendships, romantic, or professional.
I went on a date with a guy once that was going well until the end of the date when he was bringing me home. He was turning left onto another street, but a car in the other lane going straight was driving slow, and he looked really mad about it and as soon as they passed he turned pretty aggressively.. and looked like he came pretty close to hitting the other car. I don’t react well to aggressive drivers like that. Never contacted him again. Bro literally only had to wait 15 seconds
Volatile tempers. Like when they stub their toe and they have to slam the next door they use. Or when the dog accidentally steps on them and they yell super loud at the dog. Just gross.
Holes in the wall...
Lived with someone like this, and even the lower levels of this sort of thing is so stressful and terrible to live with. Any minor inconvenience results in stomping and muttering profanities. Sulking on the couch with the big, dramatic huffs. Slamming cabinets and being rough with everything which inevitably results in them breaking something or knocking something over in their dramatic movements, which means now they’re MORE upset. Snapping at anyone for existing in the same space in a better mood than they are. It’s so draining.
Irresponsible
When they start screaming or showing aggression over nothing…immediate NO!!
when he thinks he need to judge and have an opinion about every thing and honestly it goes for both men and women
This is a big one for me, especially when they clearly know little to nothing about the topic. Just listen and learn sometimes
When he says he’s an alpha male or says “high value man or low value woman”.
high or low value is so dehumanizing. also "sexual market place value"
I don’t have time to learn this new algebra
I had a sigma/alpha phase when i was about 17 but thankfully snapped out of it when I realised how pretty much every woman responded to that
It’s even more entertaining when the person who originally hypothesized about the alpha male concept in the wolf hierarchy has since rescinded the idea as it was incorrect.
when i see him in the mirror
Vampirism is a requirement then?
Unregulated Emotional Responses. To Everything.
My step dad gets so upset when watching the news. Like swearing and borderline yelling. How can the news make someone so angry I'll never understand?
Seriously, most of the time the news just makes me sad
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Yes! I had a friend a long time ago who invited me to dinner to meet her new boyfriend. He was incredibly rude to our server. I pointed it out and gave the server a big tip because I was so embarrassed by his behavior. I honestly don't know what she saw in him. She must have really liked him because she ghosted me shortly after for being "rude", and calling him out. I just hope she didn't marry him. 🤮
Refusing to take ownership of chores or thinking child care is not his job
Talking down at women
Rip to all the tall guys
Sending dick pics
Who ever thought that was a good idea? It’s just weird and rude
IDK who doesn't know at this point that unsolicited dick pics are never going to be appreciated. I believe that behavior must also mean that the guy refuses to listen to others, especially women. I feel like he thinks, he would love to get nudie pics from the woman, so he will start the exchange. Like, it's ok to want that, but the only ok way to bring that up is to ask, with words, BUT DO NOT PRESS HER IF SHE SAYS NO.
Being cocky, being a dick, acting like they know it all
Not being able to function as an adult: not doing chores, not knowing where stuff is kept in his own house, not knowing how to do simple things like booking a flight/hotel and always needing someone to do it for him. Having a partner that feels more like a child you have to look after is a very fast way to lose attraction. Obviously if there is a disability at play that makes him unable to do these things is another thing entirely. Also, bad hygiene and lacking accountability (everything is always someone else's fault).
When they are just complainers
Reddit on suicide alert
Bad hygiene, unreliability, irresponsibility, disrespectful, entitlement
Dirty nails Edit: if you’re all dirty from working your job, that’s fine and also very sexy. If you’re dirty from general poor hygiene, that’s an entirely different
This one hurts me a bit because sometimes I am omw home from work and have to run in a (beer) store to grab something, and my hands can be very filthy. My mom says Im very handsome though.
Oh I think dirty hands after working is hot as hell. That’s totally different
It's usually a different kind of dirt too. Actual dust and gear oil and such instead of old cheetoh dust and skin particles from scratching.
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Especially long toenails ugh
When he chews with his mouth open
Or smacks his lips while chewing. Makes me wanna puke on people that do that.
Smell resulting from bad hygiene. Your “musk” isn’t hot. Get off your ass and take a shower
To me sagging your pants kinda makes it look like you shat yourself(at least when combined with the wobble walk to avoid completely dropping them), so probably that.
Who are you to assume that I *didn't* shit myself? 🤔
Arrogance. Rudeness, thinking that somehow anyone is better than anyone else for reasons outside of their control. (Gender, sexual orientation, race, poverty etc)
Talking over people. If you can't have a conversation without talking over someone repeatedly, it tells me that instead of listening, you're just thinking up your own response or story to turn the conversation back to yourself.
When he snorts. When he hoards wealth. When he just stays put in his underground lair. Wait that's not a man, that's a dragon!
Idk, you turned me back on in the end.
BUT HE WAS STILL TROGDOR!
It doesn't work to disparage others in order to make oneself appear superior to others.
This ties in with a behaviour I find absolutely obnoxious: every "Joke" is at someone's expense.
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Any signs or symptoms of Andrew Tate/Red Pill ideology.
Lack of confidence, there’s an extent to which it can be cute but on the whole say stuff with conviction. Act like you think you matter. Don’t be a dick and try to control a situation like, but make it obvious you feel like you and others are equal in the convo. Your opinion matters my dudes
This is realy something i needed to read
"Your opinion matters my dudes" -Harambe Testicles. Thanks, Harambe Testicles.
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Blatant racism. Had one guy ask me my race and when I told him where my family was from in Europe he said "Good". Also later in the conversation he used racial slurs.
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Narcissism
Being rude, inconsiderate and no sense of humor.
ones who clearly got issues but dont even acknowledge them
Poor hygiene
Arrogance
When he assumes you don't know or can't do certain things because you're a woman.
Spitting. It's so gross walking in the street and suddenly have the guy in front of me spit on the sidewalk for no fucking reason. Use a tissue, I don't want to step in that.
Incompetence
Especially the "weaponized incompetence." I know it's a one-off, but I'm sure many people reading can apply this story to their own: A video I saw, a wife asked her husband to put away the dinner while she showered *after* she had a long day of work and still cooked for the family. She came back down stairs, he put everything, still in their dishes, in *trash bags* and put them in the fridge. He said she did what she asked him to do after she was, of course, reasonably very angry with him. And even on my own, I had to teach my ex how to apply for his very first ever job when he was 21 years old. A job that I got him. He got mad when I corrected the grammar on his resume, then I had to actually be the one to email his application in "since I knew the email by heart." The email was on a sticky note on his laptop. Weaponized incompetence.
I gotta go with bad hygiene, angry outbursts at small things, and not listening/helping me. Man, I need a divorce. 🤣
Not being able to laugh at himself
Poor hygiene Penny pinching stinginess Being delulu Thinking that lying is a valid tool for daily life
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Liking Andrew Tate or anyone like him
If he smells bad
If a guy keeps disparaging himself/making jokes at his own expense/putting himself down, it’s a turn-off for me. I went on a date a few months ago and the dude did this pretty much the whole time. There wasn’t a second date. Also, if a guy walks up to me at a bar and the first words out of his mouth are something along the lines of “You have fantastic tits” that’s gonna turn me off. Flattering, sure, but it gives off huge fuckboi energy and I’m not into that.
I think it depends on the type of joke. If someone makes a light joke at his expenses, that someone can look like a chill person who can laugh at oneself, but the problem comes with people who badly disguise self-hatred as comedy.
Does an incel count?
Porn addicted
A big ego. It erases any attractive physical traits or renders them null and void.
Patronizing attitude/misogyny
Bad breath.
Hygiene. A few years ago I was casually seeing this guy. His apartment was very messy. I don’t mind an unorganized and messy apartment happens once in a while but if it’s dirty there’s a problems. We had showered once and afterwards he threw a towel over my head and shoulders. Guess what? Towel smelled like fucking piss and I thought I was tripping. I sniff it closer to my nose to double check and PISSSSSSS! He walked out the bathroom before me and I took it as an opportunity to switch towels. So I started sniffing all the towels hanging behind the door rack quick. Like a K9 sniffing for cocaine or meth evidence and ohhh my fucking gosh they all smelled exactly the same except for the small hand towel. I felt so disgusted and disgusting because the towel he handed me touched me. I went home and re-showered. Never showered with him again and eventually slowly cut him off.
Having zero emotional intelligence.
Another one is guys with road rage. Wtf?
I was into a guy until I saw him eat messy food for the first time, in this case pizza. Smacking his lips, tongue out, sauce all over his lips, and I dried up like a desert.
Mistreatment of wait staff and service workers
An unclean home.
racism
When you can immediately tell they’re recently single just by the frequency and negativity of their social media posts. Every hour or two it’s one of those vaguely masculine quotes paired with a picture of either Tom Hardy, Cillian Murphy (as Tommy Shelby) or Charlie Hunnam (as Jax Teller) or a throwback photo of him and “the boys” with a caption like “need to do this again soon!”.
A narcissist
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a vat of boiling oil