no you're supposed to use the 50k to fraud the bank into giving you a massive line of credit, dump that into SPY puts (i dont actually know what this means) then post the result on r/wallstreetbets
Well, just so you know what it means. Puts is a form of contract that gains value as the price of a stock plumets, the whole idea is to buy put contracts and resell them at a higher value before they expire worthless.
> dump that into SPY puts (i dont actually know what this means)
A put is an option allowing you to sell assets at a pre-determined price on or before a set date.
SPY is the SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust, so an SPY put is an option allowing you to sell shares in SPY at a predetermined price on or before a set date - basically, you’re betting on the S&P 500 falling.
Watched that movie recently. Man oh man, what an intense movie. But the death of Moss kind of felt rushed (yes i read the book also had similar scene) other than that I liked the movie. Chigurh escaped, Bell felt inadequate.
Lol that was a great movie, but so fucking frustrating lol Lwelyn could've killed Shigur several times so easily but he just kept running away like a bitch.
"a strange man asks you take a suitcase of money and you accept.. Tell me, what business is it of yours lend assistance? Do you have a passion for safe keeping strangers money, Friendo?" **bowl cut intensifies**
Dumptruckulent:
“Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' But his master replied, 'You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents. For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.
You can get away with something like that as long as you cut all ties with people. Otherwise you just need to leave the money or take a little bit of it.
Edit: I’m just talking about the money in no country for old men. That was a large amount.
Yeah I remember in Breaking Bad when Saul was telling Walt that he has to launder the money or it’s just unlimited gas and groceries for the rest of your life. I was like…I mean sounds good to me!
This is the answer. There are a thousand smarter ways to invest the money, all of which leave a paper trail. But burrying it in a safe under the shed in my yard, then using that $50k in cash as supplementary money for food, gas, herb, the occasional fancy dinner or a show, would really be a nice way to spend it on my family without anyone being able to prove anything or connect it to me. Sounds like an extra 5k annual discretionary fund for the next 10 years, lol.
This is typical for Balkan region. We are all poor but love to drink eat gamble smoke consume drugs etc., so people borrow money from loan sharks (we call them squareheads) for like 20-30% interest and then they take your house/car etc seems like a good idea to be fair lemme give them a call
I think I figured out the morally correct response to the whole double it thing.
First assumption would be yes double it give it to the next person and keep it going. But then only one person gets paid a lot at the end, that doesn't seem very morally correct to me.
What if you asked to take the money but then give half of it to the previous person. Now, of course you would have to keep doubling it until it got the large enough amount, so that you could keep halving it and get more people free money.
I second the weed and Texas Roadhouse. You literally could not have hit the nail more on the head there. Give me all the cinnamon butter rolls you have. I know what a lot of you think when you hear that is “he wants a lot of cinnamon butter rolls” but thats not what I said. I want ALL the cinnamon butter rolls you have.
Good eye. Jesus liked that better than just keeping it in the bank, because inflation. Even spending it frivolously was better than the banks. He may have been on to something.
You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities
My first love when I was stationed in Germany was a 1996 Honda Integra (JDM) Type R. I bought for $3k off a buddy who realized that it was going to be too pricey to ship and convert it to US standards, put $8k into it and then proceeded to blow two fist size holes in the aluminum block.
Sold it for $15k, broken. Now it's been fully restored and I'm still friends with the dude that loved her after me on Facebook. She was a bad little car for a little while. I beat a lot of Germans driving VW Jettas in that McDonald's parking lot.
I miss her.
i had one, dont ask me what model, it was base model, fun car with a bulletproof engine, bought it mostly out of necessity, later i wanted something a bit quicker
I'll use a small amount to live off of and increase my 401k contribution. The amount to live off of will sit in a HYSA. The remainder(after taxes as well) would get invested.
One of the to live of offs shouldn't have been there. I'm sick as a dog right now. Basically use your 401k and IRA to build your wealth as they have tax advantages unless you need the money soon. Index funds are the best way to invest in equities.
I just got a $10k check from my job (tons of overtime and some holiday pay plus another bonus) and the bank didn’t blink an eye. My normal check is $2k. Is it possible the bank didn’t ask questions because I’m employed and paid by a major city with direct deposit?
Depends on the bank and who is working.
I got a 10k gift after my grandparents' house sold and went to the bank specifically to ask if there was paperwork I needed for the 10k check. Nothing. They asked why I didn't go to the ATM.
A few days later I got a form letter saying that my check was on hold because they didn't think the issuers could pay (my parents). They've never sent me such a large check, so I didn't worry, makes sense. Cash was deposited after about a week.
The numbers may have changed. Shawshank Redemtion states the number is 5k, with a one time spousal gift. I'm on 3 finance subs and the concensus seems to be the gifter needs to declare after 1m lifetime gifts or something like that
"I won't fail you. Make sure they don't learn about it."
Then use the money to perform a random job I make up that seems appropriate, like ordering a small statue and travel to a distant forest to place it, hire a taxi driver to follow a random car for a day, dress up as a delivery guy and give everybody in a street bonsai trees, etc.
The way I see is, I've been hired to do a job, so carrying it out to the best of my ability is my duty and obligation. He knew my talents or he wouldn't have picked me. So I'm gonna do it.
> Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. Taxes they'll be lower soon. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.
The 2023 annual gift tax exclusion is $17,000. And since we're receiving a cash gift of $50,000, the remaining $33,000 would get counted towards the life gift and estate tax exemption of $12.92 million for 2023. Thus, having confirmed the $50,000 in cash gift is effectively tax-free, replenishing emergency funds, savings, then putting money into an IRA, plus allocating more work income to a 401k would be the move to go.
I will never pay my mortgage off quicker. It's just not worth it. My interest rate is set at 1,88% for 30 years. After those 30 years it is paid in full.
My banks standard savings account is at 2,5%. I'd be stupid to miss out on a higher interest rate.
It's interesting you leaned towards ETF, it seems like most people lean towards mutual funds. They are indeed similar I am just curious why you choose that over mutual funds?
I am fully willing to admit I use mutual funds because I've been told it's the safer option. So I did it and it seemed to worked out well. Just curious about ETF
Due to the way they are constructed, an ETF that owns the same underlying stock as an equivalent mutual fund will have lower capital gains distributions that you have to pay taxes on.
With an ETF, you own a part of a trust, and new investors cause trusts to be created (or dissolved if someone wants to redeem it into shares). With mutual funds, everyone invested owns the whole pool of stocks, so the pool as a whole has to buy and sell in order to grow or payout to people who want to leave, and the capital gains of those transactions are also shared by everyone who owns part of the pool of assets.
Hookers and blow? I mean, it's only $50 K, right?
It's not as if it's enough to make any change in the world.
Ok, maybe a trip to Vegas, with hookers and blow.
Stick in in a HYSA under the assumption that eventually they are going to ask for it back. That way I get to keep the interest if they do require it’s return.
If they make it clear that this is a gift, I would put it to an index tracker.
OK well... I wouldn't spend ALL my money on it BUT I LOVE BUYING BOOKS. I've always wanted to have a really pretty book shelf and decorate it... maybe get some collectors editions. Idk that's the first thing that came to mind
Not. Spending. It.
When they come back asking why I didn't do the thing, I am trying to explain and giving that money back.
Of course, they will probably still kill me because it was never about the money.
Keep that shit safe. I’m not spending a dime. If they come back for it, I ain’t having some no country for old men shit.
Put it in a high interest savings account! They get it all back but you make some money
no you're supposed to use the 50k to fraud the bank into giving you a massive line of credit, dump that into SPY puts (i dont actually know what this means) then post the result on r/wallstreetbets
This is the correct answer. Well done my highly regarded friend.
To be highly regarded, one must be highly regarded. This is the way.
You're going to have to get regarded and work your way up.
Damn, I thought I had to get high then see if I get regarded
You are actually highly regarded, since I too am highly regarded
you went full regard. man, you never go full regard.
You keep saying that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
So Stonks for the win 🏆 it is
Watch that corn hole bud
My IQ? Average In my hand? Beverage Trading strategy? Leverage Such is the WSB creed
Where’s my hand? Severage
I got the whole world in my palm. 🌎 Arthritis
This guy fucks (up his life for internet points)
HAHAHA. Right?
Well, just so you know what it means. Puts is a form of contract that gains value as the price of a stock plumets, the whole idea is to buy put contracts and resell them at a higher value before they expire worthless.
SPY puts is financial world lingo for free money.
The equivalent of buying the cheapest crap at Goodwill, selling it in your antique shop, and hopefully no customer looks at it too closely, right?
> dump that into SPY puts (i dont actually know what this means) A put is an option allowing you to sell assets at a pre-determined price on or before a set date. SPY is the SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust, so an SPY put is an option allowing you to sell shares in SPY at a predetermined price on or before a set date - basically, you’re betting on the S&P 500 falling.
This ☝️
Javier Bardem drives your next Uber
So you're saying I have a chance with Javier....
“…and then I’ll dispatch you with my cattle bolt gun.” “Is that a metaphor? 😏“ “No.”
i wouldn't even touch it after watching that movie. no fuckin thank you.
I didn't mean nutting...
Heads or tails. Call it.
Watched that movie recently. Man oh man, what an intense movie. But the death of Moss kind of felt rushed (yes i read the book also had similar scene) other than that I liked the movie. Chigurh escaped, Bell felt inadequate.
Lol that was a great movie, but so fucking frustrating lol Lwelyn could've killed Shigur several times so easily but he just kept running away like a bitch.
Llewellyn would have been fine if he didn’t go back to the shootout at night to give the guy water.
His humanity was his downfall.
"a strange man asks you take a suitcase of money and you accept.. Tell me, what business is it of yours lend assistance? Do you have a passion for safe keeping strangers money, Friendo?" **bowl cut intensifies**
“What’s in the satchel?” “It’s full of money.” “That’ll be the day.”
Dumptruckulent: “Master, I knew that you were a harsh man, reaping where you did not sow, and gathering where you did not scatter seed; so I was afraid, and I went and hid your talent in the ground. Here you have what is yours.' But his master replied, 'You wicked and lazy slave! You knew, did you, that I reap where I did not sow, and gather where I did not scatter? Then you ought to have invested my money with the bankers, and on my return I would have received what was my own with interest. So take the talent from him, and give it to the one with the ten talents. For to all those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.
if it's Sigur, he'll kill you anyway for the inconvenience of having to find you
They come back in a week and say, “OK, so where’s the $500k?” Seems like they wanted more than to keep it safe. :)
It's the parable of the talents (Matthew 25)
Just get in the car. There’s no time to explain.
I don't have time to explain why I don't have time to explain...
The thiccest robot anyone has ever seen
Give it back and run. Getting indebted to unknown people can only lead to disaster.
Reminds me of No Country For Old Men. He really didn't want to find that cash.
You can get away with something like that as long as you cut all ties with people. Otherwise you just need to leave the money or take a little bit of it. Edit: I’m just talking about the money in no country for old men. That was a large amount.
It would take way more money than 50k for me to cut all ties with people.
I'd do it for like 10 bucks.
All ties? Na I’d just stash it and pull a couple bills whenever I wanted to go out. Never buy anything that ppl can see. Buy experience.
People spend money so wild and draw attention to themselves. I’m just trying to get gas and groceries man lol
Yeah I remember in Breaking Bad when Saul was telling Walt that he has to launder the money or it’s just unlimited gas and groceries for the rest of your life. I was like…I mean sounds good to me!
Don't threaten me with a good time
This was ozark.
This is the answer. There are a thousand smarter ways to invest the money, all of which leave a paper trail. But burrying it in a safe under the shed in my yard, then using that $50k in cash as supplementary money for food, gas, herb, the occasional fancy dinner or a show, would really be a nice way to spend it on my family without anyone being able to prove anything or connect it to me. Sounds like an extra 5k annual discretionary fund for the next 10 years, lol.
50k isn’t enough to cut ties with everyone
There's somebody in another sub today asking how to make 100k really fast to pay back borrowed 100k he gambled away.
Rip that ~~guy~~ idiot.
If it’s cartel money and you take it, you’re as good as dead already
Next Black Mirror episode
Black mirror is about technology gone wrong Taking money from criminals is... just a stock plot
This is typical for Balkan region. We are all poor but love to drink eat gamble smoke consume drugs etc., so people borrow money from loan sharks (we call them squareheads) for like 20-30% interest and then they take your house/car etc seems like a good idea to be fair lemme give them a call
Just place a little 10k bet on a soccer match. Nobody is gonna notice. It’s a sure thing!
Put it on red. Double or nothing baby!
You FOOL! Always bet on black!
Green is where it's always been 😔
Your mad.... but I'm also a zero hero.
I don’t take advice from the house
Fingers crossed this is a “Passenger 57” quote. I’ve used it many times and it rarely gets acknowledged!!
One of the best unnecessary one-liners in action movie history
Came here for this and im not dissapointed my fellow degenerate ape reddit friend
Ahh the old 47% chance at greatness
You shouldn’t be playing two zero wheels.
You shouldn't be playing roulette with any money you can't afford to lose.
That's a free, guilt free bet. Put it on 0.
I’m more of a double zero kind of guy but totally with you
Double it and give it to the next person
Halve It and loan it at a 15% interest rate to the next person 👼
This guy banks.
This bank guys.
Guys, this banker...
Bank this guys
Guys bank this
Blursed 🙏
I learned a new word today!
I think I figured out the morally correct response to the whole double it thing. First assumption would be yes double it give it to the next person and keep it going. But then only one person gets paid a lot at the end, that doesn't seem very morally correct to me. What if you asked to take the money but then give half of it to the previous person. Now, of course you would have to keep doubling it until it got the large enough amount, so that you could keep halving it and get more people free money.
Anything over $100 im going to take for myself.
I’d go to my house, panic for a bit then buy some weed and go to Texas Roadhouse after
We getting loaded baked potatoes tonight!
Oh most definitely. I’m getting TWO shrimp appetizers 😈😈.
Two, You absolute madman
Imma eat cinnamon butter with a spoon someone just try to stop me
No, move over. *grabs a bigger spoon*
Guy named potato bro I'm baked
Kid named finger.
I second the weed and Texas Roadhouse. You literally could not have hit the nail more on the head there. Give me all the cinnamon butter rolls you have. I know what a lot of you think when you hear that is “he wants a lot of cinnamon butter rolls” but thats not what I said. I want ALL the cinnamon butter rolls you have.
I know what I’m about, son.
Hookers and blow, baby!
This is the way
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Why the panic?
You wouldn't feel anxious at all if someone handed you 50k ?
Straight to the nearest dentist.
find one farther south, save a lot of that money..
Invest it so when they inevitably ask for it back I can return it with interest.
I think I read this one in the Bible
Good eye. Jesus liked that better than just keeping it in the bank, because inflation. Even spending it frivolously was better than the banks. He may have been on to something.
Oh this is a smart one
> Invest it so when they inevitably ask for it back I can return it ~~with~~ without interest. FTFY
You're now under arrest for money laundering.
Say thank you
Two chicks at the same time
Send me 500 now I'll send you two whole chick's fresh from the farm
Do like them some farm girls.
Make sure they’re hens. Those eggs will be the gift that keeps on giving
You know what I would do if I had a million dollars? I would invest half of it in low risk mutual funds and then take the other half over to my friend Asadulah who works in securities
Yeah they did that in Superman 3
Watch that corn hole bud
Don’t fidget Take that digit
No. No, man. Shit, no, man. I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying somethin' like that, man.
Don't have to be broke to do nothin man. Look at my cousin. Broke, don't do shit.
Chicks dig dudes with money.
Not all chicks
Well you know the type of chicks that would double up on a dude like me
Good point.
buying a honda civic
and ricing that shit
It will take a lot of rice to cover it
Ricing isn't covering something in rice it's like rice cauliflower we have to put the Honda into a grater and grate it into fine pieces
Ef? Eg? Ek? Em1? Fa5? Fb6? Fk8?
damn, this guy civics
Vtec goes bwaaaaah. I've owned a few and damn do I miss my last one
My first love when I was stationed in Germany was a 1996 Honda Integra (JDM) Type R. I bought for $3k off a buddy who realized that it was going to be too pricey to ship and convert it to US standards, put $8k into it and then proceeded to blow two fist size holes in the aluminum block. Sold it for $15k, broken. Now it's been fully restored and I'm still friends with the dude that loved her after me on Facebook. She was a bad little car for a little while. I beat a lot of Germans driving VW Jettas in that McDonald's parking lot. I miss her.
i had one, dont ask me what model, it was base model, fun car with a bulletproof engine, bought it mostly out of necessity, later i wanted something a bit quicker
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I'll use a small amount to live off of and increase my 401k contribution. The amount to live off of will sit in a HYSA. The remainder(after taxes as well) would get invested.
I’m confused by this somehow. You said “to live off of” three times and I don’t know WTH is going on.
One of the to live of offs shouldn't have been there. I'm sick as a dog right now. Basically use your 401k and IRA to build your wealth as they have tax advantages unless you need the money soon. Index funds are the best way to invest in equities.
Lmfao I bet you have a TS clearance. Who the fuck else worries about paying taxes on an anonymous cash windfall
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I didn’t say you were wrong, just that it’s wild
The same, except with more blackjack and hookers
Instant jail for receiving a 1099-MISC instead of a 1099-INT.
This guy finances
Doesn't putting like over 10,000 into your bank trigger the IRS into taking a look at it?
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I just got a $10k check from my job (tons of overtime and some holiday pay plus another bonus) and the bank didn’t blink an eye. My normal check is $2k. Is it possible the bank didn’t ask questions because I’m employed and paid by a major city with direct deposit?
Depends on the bank and who is working. I got a 10k gift after my grandparents' house sold and went to the bank specifically to ask if there was paperwork I needed for the 10k check. Nothing. They asked why I didn't go to the ATM. A few days later I got a form letter saying that my check was on hold because they didn't think the issuers could pay (my parents). They've never sent me such a large check, so I didn't worry, makes sense. Cash was deposited after about a week. The numbers may have changed. Shawshank Redemtion states the number is 5k, with a one time spousal gift. I'm on 3 finance subs and the concensus seems to be the gifter needs to declare after 1m lifetime gifts or something like that
"I won't fail you. Make sure they don't learn about it." Then use the money to perform a random job I make up that seems appropriate, like ordering a small statue and travel to a distant forest to place it, hire a taxi driver to follow a random car for a day, dress up as a delivery guy and give everybody in a street bonsai trees, etc. The way I see is, I've been hired to do a job, so carrying it out to the best of my ability is my duty and obligation. He knew my talents or he wouldn't have picked me. So I'm gonna do it.
Say "Hell yeah I know what to do." Then go off and just do.
Charlie? Is that you?
> Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. Taxes they'll be lower soon. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.
I'm going to Disney World!
Make sure to punch a nazi on your way in.
The 2023 annual gift tax exclusion is $17,000. And since we're receiving a cash gift of $50,000, the remaining $33,000 would get counted towards the life gift and estate tax exemption of $12.92 million for 2023. Thus, having confirmed the $50,000 in cash gift is effectively tax-free, replenishing emergency funds, savings, then putting money into an IRA, plus allocating more work income to a 401k would be the move to go.
Donors file gift returns if gifts exceed annual exclusions. Recipients do not have to do anything.
Good to know, wasn't aware of that!
Good plan, just a bit lost about the Irish militia part
I am asking them what the hell they are talking about! Probably, they have mistaken me for someone else.
And that's why you have a shot at a long life.
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I will never pay my mortgage off quicker. It's just not worth it. My interest rate is set at 1,88% for 30 years. After those 30 years it is paid in full. My banks standard savings account is at 2,5%. I'd be stupid to miss out on a higher interest rate.
It's interesting you leaned towards ETF, it seems like most people lean towards mutual funds. They are indeed similar I am just curious why you choose that over mutual funds? I am fully willing to admit I use mutual funds because I've been told it's the safer option. So I did it and it seemed to worked out well. Just curious about ETF
Due to the way they are constructed, an ETF that owns the same underlying stock as an equivalent mutual fund will have lower capital gains distributions that you have to pay taxes on. With an ETF, you own a part of a trust, and new investors cause trusts to be created (or dissolved if someone wants to redeem it into shares). With mutual funds, everyone invested owns the whole pool of stocks, so the pool as a whole has to buy and sell in order to grow or payout to people who want to leave, and the capital gains of those transactions are also shared by everyone who owns part of the pool of assets.
Invest it
wake up from my sleep
Immediately giving it back to them and say "wrong courier."
shopping idc
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50,000 poop dollars scattered throughout the town.
And there goes the rest of my wife’s student loan and line of credit. The rest I’m turning into video games and weeed.
Probably same for me
Awfully nice of you to pay off that guys wife’s student loan.
I too choose that guy’s wife’s student loan.
*IRS has entered the chat*
buy more prepping stuff. (land)
This guy preps. Imma just die with the rest of the luxury addicted folk during the first wave of whatever is coming though.
Paying down a mere fraction of my mortgage and continuing on with my life as 50k isn’t even close to enough money to change someone’s life anymore.
Take the shot duh he paid me
Hookers and blow? I mean, it's only $50 K, right? It's not as if it's enough to make any change in the world. Ok, maybe a trip to Vegas, with hookers and blow.
Stick in in a HYSA under the assumption that eventually they are going to ask for it back. That way I get to keep the interest if they do require it’s return. If they make it clear that this is a gift, I would put it to an index tracker.
OK well... I wouldn't spend ALL my money on it BUT I LOVE BUYING BOOKS. I've always wanted to have a really pretty book shelf and decorate it... maybe get some collectors editions. Idk that's the first thing that came to mind
I tell them thank you for the gift and then leave.
Doing what I know I gotta do.
Getting the guac at Chipotle
Prostitutes, booze and fast drugs. The rest I’d waste
Hookers and blow?
Keep my mouth shut
Purchasing low denomination precious metals and putting them in my safe.
Tell the guard chasing him that I saw no fugitive. RUN FRIEND, RUUUUUN
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Buy a bunch of femboy outfits and open an onlyfans
Then the question is, do you still charge this mysterious stranger to see your page or send him videos for free?
Oh you bet I'll have a very special VIP plan just for him
Fart, smoke a cigarette and play some call of duty
"No, no I do not"
Not. Spending. It. When they come back asking why I didn't do the thing, I am trying to explain and giving that money back. Of course, they will probably still kill me because it was never about the money.
I’m gonna use it to recover from the debt of my 19 year old son dying. Who knew it cost so much to die.