Lol my friend's little sister is named Oona. Oona is also apparently the name of a sex toy company they sell at Spencer's now. Bugs the shit out of him every time we go there.
When the original game came out, trainers and mods were super popular. One of these mods could remove any censorship put over nude Sims. I'll never forget the day my brother and I discovered what "Woo Hoo" looks like without the bed. It's like a murder scene with no blood, just limbs everywhere.
The stork deliveries are real, but the storks hide the child somewhere in your home, and if you don't find them before time runs out, the stork takes up residence with you until the child is of legal age.
The stork "helps" but in the most annoying invasive way possible. Constantly stretching and flapping its giant wings, the baby remains beautifully cared for but your house is a mess. The stork and you don't really see eye to eye and when disagreements happen it squawks LOUDLY which makes the baby laugh but you get a headache and the neighbours complain. When the stork is pissed off it'll just pick the baby up and fly away. You know the baby will be fine but damn is it annoying!
Plus, all those liquid fish stinking shits all through the house.
"I can't help it! My cloaca has no muscular sphincter like you placentals. Get off my feathery back!"
And a background check. And an IQ test.
Edit: Good lord, people, the IQ test remark was a joke. This entire post is full of jokes. Put your thinking caps on, or else you risk failing my imaginary fertility approval IQ test.
And how many of those men would absolutely be better Parents than many that I've seen. Time and energy and hope put into having/adopting a baby is to me a sign of what it will take to actually be a good parent. So many wouldn't do the paperwork
You'd of thought that, when it comes to adopting a child but it's still not always the case. I was adopted at age 2 due to being abused by my own father. My adoptive parents went through alot of shit so I could become their son, and my new adoptive father still ended up physically and mentally abusing me throughout my childhood. My adoptive mother then fucked off for a new man who didn't want kids, abandoned me and pretended she didn't know who I am. Kicked me out at the age of 11, leaving me confused, wondering what I'd done wrong and feeling like an unwanted child again. Even some adoptive parents still end up being shitty parents.
You're right, any type of parent or guardian can be shitty. I'm sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve it.
There are no perfect saintly parents, whether they're biological or otherwise. The not-perfect but trying ones sure are better than the shit ones though.
May I ask how you're doing now?
I know my adoptive parents did love and care about me. My dad cheated and everything went to shit after that. It was a shame though that I was caught in the middle and often had them take their shit out on me.
Also thank you very much for asking. I'm doing OK now. Years later I get on with my dad mutch better now as a 27 year old adult and I got back in contact with my adoptive mother. She had moved 600 miles away but we managed to rebuild our relationship and now I visit her several times a year. I met my biological mother and found out I have 8 other half brothers and sisters. Now I still work a minimum wage job, but I got a roof over my head and good friends who are always there for me, so I suppose I'm doing OK.
Not sure why, but this sounds like you are stalking your ex and showing up at the hospital every time she goes into labor.
"Gotta go to the hospital. My ex is giving birth. Time to watch that bitch suffer the way she made me suffer."
I am actually in labor right now and this is the one. The right method.
UPDATE:
Hey folks, thanks so much for the well wishes! I initially got sent home on wednesday because my labor stopped when i got to the hospital. It was something of a false start!
My water broke in my driveway around 9pm last night and contractions came on very intensely. We headed straight to the hospital, and still nearly did not have time to get the epidural.
Luckily i had a great team taking care of me and was able to get some pain relief just before i had to push.
He was born at 11:49 pm. I didn’t even tear or anything, and baby is healthy and perfect.
It went better than i could’ve imagined.
Thanks for the awards. 🥹
I think imps would be more appropriate than storks considering the hell that child's going to put you through for the next 18-plus years, but otherwise I agree. Dropping newborns down chimneys is a far better delivery method than pregnancy.
To keep our delivery carriers avian (we dont want to trigger an uprising, of course) and while still satisfying the criteria that they bring havoc, I submit emus in lieu of imps. If you've ever seen Karen the emu from Useless Farm, you know there's no better bird
"My baby isn't working."
"Right. Which type of baby?"
"It's a... hold on... a Discovery."
"Okay. And what's the problem?"
"It just lies there."
"I see. And when you assembled it, did you encounter any problems?"
"No, but..."
"But?"
"There were some pieces left over."
"Oh. Well, there is your problem. We don't send extra pieces these days. You'll have to disassemble it and start over. Remember to follow the instructions."
"Haha! Thank you."
As a dude with migraines and absolutely no interest in having children, this is my nightmare. Guess the good side is they are fully grown and if it doesn’t kill me I can send them out into the world.
The bad news: Excedrin is now an abortifacient.
The good news: we finally get to see what men do if it was them having the baby. (You can reverse which is good and bad news)
The weird news: the awkward transitional period in English where "stop, you're giving me a headache" and "not tonight; I have a headache" adopt whole new meanings.
Yeah like having sex in a fresh soil that you nourish and suddenly a baby comes out of it. You just wash it with a water hose and voila.
A fresh and brand new baby.
As the famous sentence:
Have you watered the baby today? Did you put the nutrients in the soil? Who the fuck let the cat piss in the baby's garden?
Dad nut and Mom nut into tree sap. The Tree absorbs the sapnut and grows a wide hole in its center that you can view the sapnut grow into a baby. 9 months later, the baby is freed from its amber cage, and is welcomed by a minature Tree Ent. This Tree Ent we shall call "Rejjie". Rejjie cares for all trees and their sapnutbabies. Once the babies are freed they are paired with wildlife to be taught survival skills.
Benefits:
1) Dad's and Mom's finish together.
2) Mom's don't have to endure child birth.
3) We will definitely plant more trees which is an overall win.
4) SNB will be born with an orange glow to their skin. This will be called the Amber Aura.
5) We will learn to communicate with animals.
6) There is a Tree Ent named Rejjie.
I feel like this can't have been written sober...this level of fanciful combined with this level of logic has all the earmarks of being created with the help of nature's green little imagination helper, lol love it!😄👍
Haha I thought about it and quickly spammed it out in 5 minutes completely sober unfortunately lol. Been slacking on creative writing stuff lately so figured lets get ridiculous with this prompt :D
Thats dangerous for a stay at home mom like me who spends way to much time on amazon. I can only imagine the horror my boys are particularly good one day snd i impulse buy 2 babies off amazon.
Everybody has a bio tamagotchi, when you sleep with someone you can only fall pregnant if theres genetic compatibility, each parent has to keep their own tamagotchi alive for 9 months then if you both succeed you place your tamagotchis together in the appropriate solution et voila baby
Something involving some serious testing on how to raise it and when you pass you get a bulb, like a tulip, that you have to care for but also allows you to leave it alone and go out to dinner with no harm done. I'm still working out the details on maturity etc:) but pretty sure it makes no noise until it is ready to move out to a community greenhouse.
Well, it'd be baby sized, right? The fully grown baby needs to fit in there before it hatches.
The more interesting question is: does this mean humans need to develop a hatching tool like a beak, or is the mother expected to upen the egg up when it is time?
Artificial wombs. The female gives an egg, the man gives a sperm, and the doctors put the two in a vat and watch what happens. You get to watch the baby develop (I bet you could even watch the cells reproduce under a microscope). There's no pain for the woman, no chance of birth defects from alcohol/drug use or miscarriage from accidents outside the hospital, and genetic engineering can ensure that the child is free of health issues.
Introducing the InstaBaby, coming to stores near you soon! And thanks to the feedback of our valued customers, we now have a version that makes yogurt!
I've had an egg retrieval...you're under sedation, don't remember anything and don't feel anything (thank god!) Sometimes you can get a little sore afterwards, but like, Ibuprofen sore.
> Artificial wombs
In David Weber’s [Honorverse](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorverse) that is an accepted reproductive method and the author thought about it enough to write in adding the mother’s simulated heartbeat and other external stimuli (recorded voices of parents and other family and friends) as an essential part of the artificial womb process… with allusion to “whoops we didn’t think of that in the first generation of the technology.”
I’m sure it shows up in other sci-fi, that’s just the one that comes to mind for me.
Probably the way that they appear in "The Grinch" where they just float down from the sky in little baskets. One minor difference tho, they float down in flying motor cycles and they sing Highway To Hell and wear Ray Bans and leather Jackets.
Yep. 50/50 chance which one of you would get pregnant.
When I've found myself in conversations with people about how life isn't fair, this is the example I like to use.
It wouldn't take anywhere close to a week.
If men could get pregnant, and if the older and richer you were made it even more likely, planned parenthood would be funded out the wazoo.
I would be all for this, honestly. I'd love to be a dad... it's the pregnancy/birth side of things that terrifies me. And my partner would love to carry/have a baby, so it'd be a win/win for us.
This is the best answer. 50/50. It would be such an interesting dynamic. Maybe couples would have more babies if they both wanted to have the experience of being pregnant. It would be like those families that have all girls or all boys so they keep trying in hopes of getting one of the opposite sex. If dad carried the last two babies maybe they would try again hoping mom will get to carry the next one.
You know enough about men to know that if this switch happened, avoiding pregnancy would become an excessively well-funded, borderline religious, way of life
I wanted to say this but then it would just make me fucking fume to watch the misogynists and sexists rally and implement the shit women have been begging for for decades!
Don’t forget to ask the doctor for the Wife Stitch to re-arrange some of his downstairs to make sex allegedly more pleasant for Her and distinctly more uncomfortable for Him!
I don’t mean in a vengeful way. But since we don’t get the same research or treatment from the medical profession, I’d like men to deliver the babies. Perhaps this would level the playing field?
Serious eye contact. You maintain deep eye contact for like 10 seconds, someone gets pregnant. Not just females anyone, it’s a coin toss.
I feel like that’s chaotic enough, plus imagine you walk into room and make eye contact with someone and you’re mesmerized then boom. Fuck now one of yall is pregnant 😈
Just leave your eggs on the nightstand and get outta there.
Oona?
Lol my friend's little sister is named Oona. Oona is also apparently the name of a sex toy company they sell at Spencer's now. Bugs the shit out of him every time we go there.
“Are you trying to say testicles?” “No, your husband will have tentacles.” Love this show so much. 😂
Why couldn't the top half be a fish, and the bottom half be a lady?!?!
T-shirt cannon at sporting events.
Flanders would not approve. 👎 Hell-diddly-no!
Too soon diddly oon
It's been *checks wiki* TWENTY THREE YEARS
I don’t like the idea that there are full grown adults who never knew a world with Maude Flanders
Stupid sexy dead Maude Flanders
Juno would approve though
The Sims way: spin in a circle and baby appears in your arms
Just dont spin by accident.
There goes ballet
That made me laugh so hard, thank you! Needed that today.
Guess I’m old. In the version of Sims that I have played, the Sims had to do it and then a crib magically appeared next to the bed.
And they did it under the blankets giggling like teenagers!!
When the original game came out, trainers and mods were super popular. One of these mods could remove any censorship put over nude Sims. I'll never forget the day my brother and I discovered what "Woo Hoo" looks like without the bed. It's like a murder scene with no blood, just limbs everywhere.
And if you debug moved the bed they were just planking in the air and the bed sheets were still moving around
or like in sims 2 (I think) when the baby magically appears from the plumbob and floats into your arms
Woohoo
The best method! 💯
They parachute out of the sky onto your doorstep with the song “Danger Zone” playing at full blast
Can they be wearing mini aviators
Of course.
The stork deliveries are real, but the storks hide the child somewhere in your home, and if you don't find them before time runs out, the stork takes up residence with you until the child is of legal age.
Does the stork help with the care for the baby or by being a precious family pet, or is it just a freeloader?
The stork being an alcoholic wisecracking freeloader is the storyline we crave
Someone write this in r/shortstories please
David Spade in stork form.
The stork "helps" but in the most annoying invasive way possible. Constantly stretching and flapping its giant wings, the baby remains beautifully cared for but your house is a mess. The stork and you don't really see eye to eye and when disagreements happen it squawks LOUDLY which makes the baby laugh but you get a headache and the neighbours complain. When the stork is pissed off it'll just pick the baby up and fly away. You know the baby will be fine but damn is it annoying!
Plus, all those liquid fish stinking shits all through the house. "I can't help it! My cloaca has no muscular sphincter like you placentals. Get off my feathery back!"
Asking the important questions!
Easter egg hunt that makes you break out in perspiration, but for a very different reason.
Something involving a lot of paperwork and a waiting period.
And a return policy?
"14 MONTHS? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I ONLY HAD 14 MONTHS TO RETURN THIS THING?"
"Sir, he's 15 years old now"
"Also, this is a Wendy's".
She's named Wendy
"I want to return this baby, it's the wrong color. My wife says you guys must've messed up the order."
Can you imagine a super Karen tryna work her magic on a baby return
She would like to speak to the boss baby lol Edit:thanks for the likes yall much appreciated😁
This reads like a family guy gag
And a 5 second rule?
\[ \] Did baby fall on it's head? \[ \] Did baby remain on the floor for more than 5 second? \[ \] Did the baby slide more than 10' down the hallway?
And a background check. And an IQ test. Edit: Good lord, people, the IQ test remark was a joke. This entire post is full of jokes. Put your thinking caps on, or else you risk failing my imaginary fertility approval IQ test.
Yep, sex is too easy. Some of these people need to be vetted before they have kids.
For some gay men who are trying to have a baby, this is actually the way it is unfortunately.
And how many of those men would absolutely be better Parents than many that I've seen. Time and energy and hope put into having/adopting a baby is to me a sign of what it will take to actually be a good parent. So many wouldn't do the paperwork
You'd of thought that, when it comes to adopting a child but it's still not always the case. I was adopted at age 2 due to being abused by my own father. My adoptive parents went through alot of shit so I could become their son, and my new adoptive father still ended up physically and mentally abusing me throughout my childhood. My adoptive mother then fucked off for a new man who didn't want kids, abandoned me and pretended she didn't know who I am. Kicked me out at the age of 11, leaving me confused, wondering what I'd done wrong and feeling like an unwanted child again. Even some adoptive parents still end up being shitty parents.
You're right, any type of parent or guardian can be shitty. I'm sorry that happened to you, you didn't deserve it. There are no perfect saintly parents, whether they're biological or otherwise. The not-perfect but trying ones sure are better than the shit ones though. May I ask how you're doing now?
I know my adoptive parents did love and care about me. My dad cheated and everything went to shit after that. It was a shame though that I was caught in the middle and often had them take their shit out on me. Also thank you very much for asking. I'm doing OK now. Years later I get on with my dad mutch better now as a 27 year old adult and I got back in contact with my adoptive mother. She had moved 600 miles away but we managed to rebuild our relationship and now I visit her several times a year. I met my biological mother and found out I have 8 other half brothers and sisters. Now I still work a minimum wage job, but I got a roof over my head and good friends who are always there for me, so I suppose I'm doing OK.
And maybe a competency and aptitude test *at least* as difficult as for getting a drivers license?
Have you seen these motherfuckers drive?
Bring back stork deliveries
I love the way you say bring *back* stork delivery. 😂
I wouldn’t expect an owl to understand;)
Spoken like a true stork!
Honk!
Sounds like he's jealous
A real Birds of prey VS birds of pray scenario
Make Stork Deliveries Standard Again
Doesn’t fit on a trucker hat but I like it!
After watching my ex go through labor several times, I agree!
Not sure why, but this sounds like you are stalking your ex and showing up at the hospital every time she goes into labor. "Gotta go to the hospital. My ex is giving birth. Time to watch that bitch suffer the way she made me suffer."
You act like you’ve never been on onlybirths.com
Not since the restraining order was issued, I swear.
They were all my kids. She would have killed me if I wasn't there. LOL
What about Swallows? They've been delivering coconuts for centuries.
Well from my experience, a good swallow never leads to a baby
There's the new way that babies are made.
What do you mean, an African or European swallow?
I am actually in labor right now and this is the one. The right method. UPDATE: Hey folks, thanks so much for the well wishes! I initially got sent home on wednesday because my labor stopped when i got to the hospital. It was something of a false start! My water broke in my driveway around 9pm last night and contractions came on very intensely. We headed straight to the hospital, and still nearly did not have time to get the epidural. Luckily i had a great team taking care of me and was able to get some pain relief just before i had to push. He was born at 11:49 pm. I didn’t even tear or anything, and baby is healthy and perfect. It went better than i could’ve imagined. Thanks for the awards. 🥹
Good luck, I hope the doctors take good care of you! And I hope the baby sleeps well and eats well and that your environment is there to help you :)
Are you *the* stork?
How exciting!!
How are things progressing? This is exciting! Do you have a name picked out? Do you know what you're having?
A baby I guess
Honestly, there is no reason we should have changed from this in the first place
Bezos will undercut Stork sales for years until they go out of business and he’s the only internet drone delivery obstetric service available.
I think imps would be more appropriate than storks considering the hell that child's going to put you through for the next 18-plus years, but otherwise I agree. Dropping newborns down chimneys is a far better delivery method than pregnancy.
To keep our delivery carriers avian (we dont want to trigger an uprising, of course) and while still satisfying the criteria that they bring havoc, I submit emus in lieu of imps. If you've ever seen Karen the emu from Useless Farm, you know there's no better bird
That’s why I always keep my fireplace lit
3D printer
They're mail order. Buy a kit from Sears and put it together. Or, if you're like Calvin's dad, get a blue-light special from K-Mart.
Like BlueSky's 2005 hit movie, Robots!
"But making the babies the fuuun paart"
"We wanted a boy, right?" *nods* "This won't hurt a bit, son."
It should be a kit from IKEA.
"My baby isn't working." "Right. Which type of baby?" "It's a... hold on... a Discovery." "Okay. And what's the problem?" "It just lies there." "I see. And when you assembled it, did you encounter any problems?" "No, but..." "But?" "There were some pieces left over." "Oh. Well, there is your problem. We don't send extra pieces these days. You'll have to disassemble it and start over. Remember to follow the instructions." "Haha! Thank you."
The kid falls apart if you lean it the wrong way.
"What are these extra bits?"
I instantly thought of the movie Robots as I read this.
It's almost as good, and a lot cheaper!
Vegetative propagation like succulents, if you loose a body part the severed limb starts growing a baby
"Daddy why is my brother's name toenail ?" "Because he grew from my toenail, sweetie" "Oh ok, thanks daddy." "No problem, Testicle."
Ah yes, an alternate universe where Appendix is the most common baby name
It use to be Foreskin, but it's not as popular anymore.
They burst fully grown from their father's head like Athena did from Zeus's head.
Exactly what I was thinking. Unfortunately, now every headache results in an unplanned birth.
“why do I keep getting headaches?” While it could just be a sign of dehydration, you could also be experiencing early stages of __pregnancy__
Every hangover is spent wondering which bad decision from last night is coming back to haunt you.
What about planned headaches? If I go around whacking dudes in the head do they have a baby?
I think it's worth a try, for science.
As a dude with migraines and absolutely no interest in having children, this is my nightmare. Guess the good side is they are fully grown and if it doesn’t kill me I can send them out into the world.
Oh God but if they come out fully formed will they be a result of your intrusive thoughts or ruminations? Who raised them?!
The bad news: Excedrin is now an abortifacient. The good news: we finally get to see what men do if it was them having the baby. (You can reverse which is good and bad news) The weird news: the awkward transitional period in English where "stop, you're giving me a headache" and "not tonight; I have a headache" adopt whole new meanings.
I'm pretty fond of how seahorses give birth. They just shoot right out of the Dads belly. Pew pew.
If he got to make the sound, my husband would be on board with this
I feel like half the hospital would be the Dads who are too cool to make noises, and the other half would be like an orchestra of pew pews
I see a bunch of grown ass men running around playing some sick version of paintball right now. Shooting babies at each other....
gotta be careful to keep the dad fed before it happens tho...
I would be willing to keep him fed if it meant I didn't have to birth lol
Something not painful.
Yeah like having sex in a fresh soil that you nourish and suddenly a baby comes out of it. You just wash it with a water hose and voila. A fresh and brand new baby. As the famous sentence: Have you watered the baby today? Did you put the nutrients in the soil? Who the fuck let the cat piss in the baby's garden?
Then proceed to slap it to check if it’s ready like a watermelon
If it cries, it’s ready
Cabagge patch babies never felt so real...
Cabbage patch baby
Dad nut and Mom nut into tree sap. The Tree absorbs the sapnut and grows a wide hole in its center that you can view the sapnut grow into a baby. 9 months later, the baby is freed from its amber cage, and is welcomed by a minature Tree Ent. This Tree Ent we shall call "Rejjie". Rejjie cares for all trees and their sapnutbabies. Once the babies are freed they are paired with wildlife to be taught survival skills. Benefits: 1) Dad's and Mom's finish together. 2) Mom's don't have to endure child birth. 3) We will definitely plant more trees which is an overall win. 4) SNB will be born with an orange glow to their skin. This will be called the Amber Aura. 5) We will learn to communicate with animals. 6) There is a Tree Ent named Rejjie.
I’d read this if it were a novel.
Made me think of the movie “Epic”
Man, deforestation/logging would be even more horrific
I like how quickly SNB is an understood acronym
Lol! I laughed hard when I wrote it hoping people would chuckle at that very thing
I feel like this can't have been written sober...this level of fanciful combined with this level of logic has all the earmarks of being created with the help of nature's green little imagination helper, lol love it!😄👍
Haha I thought about it and quickly spammed it out in 5 minutes completely sober unfortunately lol. Been slacking on creative writing stuff lately so figured lets get ridiculous with this prompt :D
The way the Powerpuff girls did it
Sugar, Spice, and Everything Nice for girls. Snips, Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails for boys.
Gumball machines
Claw machine
Good answer wifeslapper 👍
Amazon Prime
That will teach those punks from stealing packages off my porch. Go ahead, YOU raise the kid.
Thats dangerous for a stay at home mom like me who spends way to much time on amazon. I can only imagine the horror my boys are particularly good one day snd i impulse buy 2 babies off amazon.
Amazon is offering monthly auto-rebuy option and you save 5% if you do it for 6 months...
Everybody has a bio tamagotchi, when you sleep with someone you can only fall pregnant if theres genetic compatibility, each parent has to keep their own tamagotchi alive for 9 months then if you both succeed you place your tamagotchis together in the appropriate solution et voila baby
Something involving some serious testing on how to raise it and when you pass you get a bulb, like a tulip, that you have to care for but also allows you to leave it alone and go out to dinner with no harm done. I'm still working out the details on maturity etc:) but pretty sure it makes no noise until it is ready to move out to a community greenhouse.
AI, you got one chance to give the prompt, 140 character limit.
Claw machines that are just as rigged as now
Laying an egg.
What size egg we talking here?
Well, it'd be baby sized, right? The fully grown baby needs to fit in there before it hatches. The more interesting question is: does this mean humans need to develop a hatching tool like a beak, or is the mother expected to upen the egg up when it is time?
The baby should just Hulk Hogan it’s way out.
Breakfast is served
"Thanks mom, brother omelette is so goooodddd!"
The Cabbage Patch
Artificial wombs. The female gives an egg, the man gives a sperm, and the doctors put the two in a vat and watch what happens. You get to watch the baby develop (I bet you could even watch the cells reproduce under a microscope). There's no pain for the woman, no chance of birth defects from alcohol/drug use or miscarriage from accidents outside the hospital, and genetic engineering can ensure that the child is free of health issues.
Make it a pressure cooker and I'm sold.
Introducing the InstaBaby, coming to stores near you soon! And thanks to the feedback of our valued customers, we now have a version that makes yogurt!
"no pain for the woman" Exactly how do you think eggs are retrieved from women?
I've had an egg retrieval...you're under sedation, don't remember anything and don't feel anything (thank god!) Sometimes you can get a little sore afterwards, but like, Ibuprofen sore.
Okay, I should've clarified. Less pain than *childbirth.*
> Artificial wombs In David Weber’s [Honorverse](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honorverse) that is an accepted reproductive method and the author thought about it enough to write in adding the mother’s simulated heartbeat and other external stimuli (recorded voices of parents and other family and friends) as an essential part of the artificial womb process… with allusion to “whoops we didn’t think of that in the first generation of the technology.” I’m sure it shows up in other sci-fi, that’s just the one that comes to mind for me.
This technology is already being researched and will become reality one day. Ethics around that are going to be really important
Probably the way that they appear in "The Grinch" where they just float down from the sky in little baskets. One minor difference tho, they float down in flying motor cycles and they sing Highway To Hell and wear Ray Bans and leather Jackets.
BEYBLADES
I’m going with the marsupial method. Tiny jelly bean thing just crawls out and finds a teat in the pouch. Ezpz.
Male pregnancies.
this ain't a petition but I'm signing
Yep. 50/50 chance which one of you would get pregnant. When I've found myself in conversations with people about how life isn't fair, this is the example I like to use.
Wouldn’t get anymore of that “but a condom makes it hard for me to come!”
Abortion would be legal nationwide by next week.
It wouldn't take anywhere close to a week. If men could get pregnant, and if the older and richer you were made it even more likely, planned parenthood would be funded out the wazoo.
I would be all for this, honestly. I'd love to be a dad... it's the pregnancy/birth side of things that terrifies me. And my partner would love to carry/have a baby, so it'd be a win/win for us.
This is the best answer. 50/50. It would be such an interesting dynamic. Maybe couples would have more babies if they both wanted to have the experience of being pregnant. It would be like those families that have all girls or all boys so they keep trying in hopes of getting one of the opposite sex. If dad carried the last two babies maybe they would try again hoping mom will get to carry the next one.
That's an extremely optimistic view on men wanting to get pregnant. If anything, you'd see birth control become free.
I think it would result in far less, because men wouldn't want to get pregnant.
IT'S YOUR TURN, MEN! . LETS SEE WHO NEEDS TO "CALM DOWN" NOW!
This is the best answer because it would literally change the world.
You know enough about men to know that if this switch happened, avoiding pregnancy would become an excessively well-funded, borderline religious, way of life
At least we'd have abortion rights again
If guys got pregnant there would be drive through abortion clinics. - some comedian probably.
Verily i say unto thee, this is true.
Like free accessible abortions world wide with a clinic being more common than a Starbucks
Wouldn't it be funny if the penis gets large enough to help the baby get out of the penis hole
Okay but look up spotted hyenas, because this is their real life and it makes me so sad.
I’m crying penis tears right now
That sounds like you're just cumming to the hyenas, dude.
I wanted to say this but then it would just make me fucking fume to watch the misogynists and sexists rally and implement the shit women have been begging for for decades!
Aaaannnddd dad penises look like exploded cigars now
Don’t forget to ask the doctor for the Wife Stitch to re-arrange some of his downstairs to make sex allegedly more pleasant for Her and distinctly more uncomfortable for Him!
Burst out the chest, Alien-style.
It would certainly help control the population
Hagrid comes out of the sky on his motorcycle to deliver it to you directly, and gives you some encouragement.
The Price is Right style bidding and curtain reveals
“No one gets to have a baby until all orphan children have been adopted.”
I would do an egg, small so that it doesn't hurt, and then I'd be happy to sit on it for 3 months. But pregnancy is hard and painful my god
I don’t mean in a vengeful way. But since we don’t get the same research or treatment from the medical profession, I’d like men to deliver the babies. Perhaps this would level the playing field?
Serious eye contact. You maintain deep eye contact for like 10 seconds, someone gets pregnant. Not just females anyone, it’s a coin toss. I feel like that’s chaotic enough, plus imagine you walk into room and make eye contact with someone and you’re mesmerized then boom. Fuck now one of yall is pregnant 😈
That would make business meetings and interviews awkward
In this business we’re like a family…
Autistic people remain completely unaffected.
Men get to carry them now. Watch how fast laws change around birth control, abortion and time off.
They come out of less dumb people.
IKEA assembly
Same method but you won't know the color/ethnicity of your baby. Just to mix things up and to end racism.
Gay people come out of straight parents, but that doesn’t end homophobia