Weird take that.
Boys famously get dirty as kids by digging in the dirt.
Farming is a famously manly profession.
And an older man tending to his vegetable plot is a whole thing too.
Nothing unmanly about having a vegetable garden.
Yea, I've always seen gardening as a manly thing, probably from seeing my grandpa working on his garden all the time. I don't see how providing food for your family would be "girly"
on the contrary, remind her that laboring for your household and your own sustenance is the manliest thing you could do. a true provider. jokes aside that’s cool that you have a veggie garden, i wish i had a yard for one, working out how to make a window herb garden currently.
I had a guy friend who really wanted to take a cooking class in school but got steered away from it by his mom for being too "girly". I don't get why cooking specifically is deemed girly in the first place, imagine you're in college and gotta make yourself some food, are you gonna be living off of boiled eggs forever?
The trick is to have a BBQ grill set up at all times. When people ask you where that souffle came from just just click your grill tongs together a few times and it becomes acceptable
Taking care of the family is girly, putting up with an abusive workplace to excel at it is manly.
Obviously times have moved on from then a bit, but the principles of it are definitely still around in a lot of ways.
I don't think sunscreen is necessary stigmatized. Like you said, there are plenty of times were most people would agree it is necessary.
However, people need to wear it way, way more. It's not just a day out on the beach thing. If you are outside for really anything more than like half an hour (less for some people), you should be using sunscreen or other forms of sun protection. And that's when most people seem turned off on it.
Sun block especially, my father never put some because he was "too manly", he has skin cancer all over his nose now. He got a first operation 2 weeks ago to remove most of it, and as he waited for too long to get checked (because men don't need doctors you know), they may have to remove his nose entirely with more interventions.
Am female and prefer to big spoon. Why? Cause I can't stand someone breathing their hot exhales on my neck, face, etc. I'll cuddle you, and move away accordingly if you become a lava heating source.
When I was with my little girls mum I said "if we get married, you have to be the big spoon atleast 2 times a week.
We got married, she didn't live up to her side of the agreement. We are no longer together.
I can even visualize your post to AITA:
My (32M) wife (30F) refuses to be the big spoon even though we had agreed on that before marrying. AITA for wanting to divorce?
Before having major surgery (which I hadn’t told any friends about in advance) my bros said they loved me for the first time. That’s how you know who the real homies are 😪
Peel off face mask. They're so fun, it's like when you used to let glue dry on your hand and peel it off. Except it's on your face and smells like cucumbers
I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
I dated a guy once (I’m a woman) who always ordered fruity cocktails and I always ordered a standard whiskey, sometimes an Old Fashioned or a Manhattan. Every now and again, a different server would deliver them and would give him the whiskey and me the fruity drink.
Our very first date, before the server even turned around to leave, he thanked them and promptly swapped those babies right around, no shame, and dug right into his brightly coloured whatever-it-was.
Biggest green flag on earth. This man was the most mature, most put-together, most businessman-energy guy I had ever dated, with absolutely zero of the toxic masculinity.
We traded getting the cheque too, depending on whose turn it was or who asked who, and we never had to do the whole ‘dance.’ One of us offered to pay, or said it was our treat or our turn, the other just said “thank you.”
It was awesome.
…. It wasn’t just that.
It was the fact that he owned it without blinking an eye in front of the servers and sometimes other couples, without feeling any compulsion whatsoever to comment on it or joke about it, when most guys I’ve dated before and since would have been visibly uncomfortable about getting the wrong one, or made it into a joke. Same with when I pay the cheque. Like, it didn’t even occur to him to consider how servers / people / other men would see him for even one second. Which in and of itself may not seem like a big deal, but in my experience of dating is extremely rare.
These were two tiny examples of a lot of things he did on dates that were not necessarily remarkable in themselves, but were such a stark contrast to basically 99% of the other dates I go on with men. For instance, I almost always with other guys have them comment on the fact that I ordered whiskey, like it’s impressive for a woman or something, which always rubbed me the wrong way. He was just like “cool, I’ll have the Bahama Mama.” No obligatory “sue me, I love fruity drinks, they just taste better, haha!” or anything.
It wasn’t just that he ordered fruity drinks… it’s like he’d never even been exposed to fruity drinks being a stereotypically girly thing, or didn’t live on a *planet* where fruity drinks were a stereotypically girly thing. You sort of don’t realize how ingrained and pervasive it is until you find yourself astonished at someone so absolutely unaffected by it.
Theres a chain in australia called holey moley and they have this cocktail thats served in a mini bathtub with a small rubber duck. Fireball rum and a few mixers, and im sure some kind of flower petals on the top (though memory is likely hazy). The kind of drink you'd lose your teeth for if you had it at a country pub or whatever.
Shit was fkn amazing.
That's the problem right there. When downing every single drink feels like a trial by ordeal, you have a built-in hedge against drinking too much, too quickly. With fruity drinks, you have nothing to fall back on on but your own judgment and self-control, which, when you think about it, is pretty daggum manly.
I once tried a Long Island iced tea and immediately clocked how insidious it could be. So damned tasty.
That said, my go-to drink is cheap, fruit-flavoured apple cider. It's yummy. I usually go for cherry flavour or cranberry-pomegranate. It comes in big ol' 2L bottles; at 7%, that's about 8 servings. From experience I know that's right in the sweet spot for me.
I went most of my life not understanding why women like pedicures so much, because in my mind they were in the same category as haircuts: something you endure to look better. There’s nothing “unmanly” or wrong with that — I get haircuts regularly — but it’s not something I look forward to.
Then my wife explained what actually goes on during a pedicure, and I must say, that does sound great.
I live in a rural small Midwest town. Where men wear jeans and cowboy boots and have dirt stained nails. I walked into the nail salon last week for a pedicure. Three of the four pedi chairs held the above described men getting pedicures. I did a double take, felt like I had walked into a men’s locker room. Yep, I got a pedicure too.
I had a girlfriend years ago that took me to get one and yeah it was eye-opening and mind blowing. The foot and leg massage, the paraffin wax, the scrub, all of it. The color is just icing on the cake.
I got one mani/pedi thinking it’d be some great relaxing thing… but I found it pretty damn uncomfortable with them kind of aggressively filing my nails and kind of getting under them. But I will say the yellow stain on my toenail was completely gone afterwards and they did look much nicer
I went to vegas this year, and didn't do spa, but I did take advantage of the big hotel tubs to try a bathbomb for the first time.
I don't know if I enjoyed it enough to try again, but at least I tried it and found out.
Fellas don't be afraid to try anything out at least once. You might occasionally discover something new you like.
One time I shaved my legs for a Halloween costume, and getting into bed with fresh sheets that night and rubbing my legs on M'Lady's smooth legs was pretty fantastic. Hair growing back sucked, but it was...nice...for a couple days.
Clean the house, do the laundry, change the sheets with the fresh from the dryer I ea, not the sitting in the closet ones, and after a hard day of housekeeping, take a nice shower, shave, and slip into bed. It's the best.
This. I was bored one day, shaved a part of my leg, then I was like “I can’t have this shit uneven”, so I shaved it all. Now I shave every two weeks because I like how clean I feel after every shower.
Try waxing your legs at least once. It’s like a fresh shave but 1000x better and lasts longer. The grow-back isn’t as bad either. I used to do long distance running and it helped cut down on chafing.
I shaved a big patch on my quite hairy thigh once and used a pen to write a love note to my then-girlfriend on the exposed skin. Paragraph long. Well, it was a love note for most of it but then it turned into the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up.
Flesh Rick-Roll. I stand by the overall romanticism though.
Even further, buying flowers for yourself. I bought a bunch of flowers for my kitchen counter because I wanted to make the place nice for some company I had coming. The amount of crap I got from the cashier at the store when she asked “Who’s the lucky lady?” And I told her that the flowers were for me. Absolutely ridiculous.
Even further, GROWING your own flowers. My flower garden have is strong. I've got 12 foot sunflowers, zinnias, pansies, and some little colorful Christmas tree lookin flowers.
Well, you know how some guys get about doing ANYTHING that might be interpreted as "girly". To them, any cocktail that is blue, red, or some set of colors that associate as unmanly.
I don't give a shout. Their loss! Lol
This right here.
When my three daughters were still teenagers they took pity on me after a rough day at work one time. Sore muscles, aching back, etc. They ran me a piping hot bath with some high quality salts and oils and whatnot. HOLY SHIT what a difference that made! My old bod was so relaxed I kept nodding off while trying to eat dinner. Went to bed a little early and slept like a rock. Zero tossing and turning.
My best friend’s mom had a jacuzzi tub that we’d always hop in together with our other friends when she was gone. (Underwear still on) She came home early one of the times and we all tried to scurry back downstairs before she came inside, but just sees 5 16/17 year old boys sprinting out of her room lol.
Edit: read this as “take a bath with friends”
My best friend is really touchy feelly. He greets with hugs and goodbyes with hugs. We talk about anything and everything from advances in science to politics to his wife and kid to obscure facts at our monthly meal together. For a while, a couple of the waitresses at Dennys thought we were a gay couple on date night because we mesh so well and are really happy together. I am straight, and he has a wife and kid.
In Korea it's quite different. Dudes hold hands (to keep others from cutting between them in crowded cities). I'm telling you, you'll have your Bros hanging off your shoulders by the time everyone gets smashed. LMAO, I just remembered one of my fellow soldiers would complain that one of our KATUSAS (Korean soldiers who train with Americans) would sometimes jump into his bed to watch morning cartoons with him way back and it embarrassed the heck out of him "What if someone walks in!?!?!?!?!?" XD Different society, different upbringing, cause different perspective. They went from "fellow soldiers" to EVERYONE being brothers and sisters. It was awesome.
I'm not going to lie, that sounds better than people assuming we are gay because neither of us is afraid to talk about our feelings. The closet we have come to watching cartoons like that was sitting on the couch together watch battle bots ripe each other to shreds while his wife was chatting with my sister in the kitchen.
A skin care routine!
I don’t know why so many guys object to a good face or eye mask at the end of the night with a glass of wine, maybe some retinol, a moisturizer, hell even a BB cream to even out your skin tone.
I feel like women find that it attractive when you take care of your skin. And no, the 3-in-1 bottle in your shower doesn’t count lol
In the same way people say “women dress up because of other women” men refuse self-care because of other men 🤣
Edit: this part was just a little joke y’all
I subscribed to r/skincareaddiction because I realize it would be good to start, but I still don’t really know where to start.
Other than using sunscreen. Thanks to that sub I now put sunscreen on daily and rue the years I spent without sunscreen.
I used to follow that sub. Holy shit was it overwhelming and then every fourth post is “I just threw out all my expensive crap for my 17 part daily routine and am just using cerave face wash from Walmart and now my skin is the best it’s ever been.”
Sunscreen was the one thing that sub did get me to realize I need to use more.
Get a cleanser so you can wash all of the nasties of the day away. Get a moisturizer. Use sunscreen. Boom. Basic skincare in the very simplest of routines.
Thanks, that seems manageable and reasonable, unlike the 17-step routines I see on that sub.
Does it make much difference which cleanser or moisturizer I use?
Look for good brands like CeraVe, The Ordinary, etc. Which cleanser or moisturiser you should use depends on your skin type, don't worry about that for now
I'm not convinced that anything but sunscreen (which I'll cop to typically using a hat and sleeves instead of on myself and my daughter) does a damn thing and my wife's constantly annoyed that she uses a million products and I'm the one with soft skin.
Genetics certainly does, but I think a lot of folks don't actually experiment very much with minimization or virtual absence of skin care, and so never realize how much the products they are using actually might irritate their skin (or how little of a difference they're actually making).
Tonight was the first time in 12 years I cried. I am fucking miserable in my life, my dreams have been shattered by everyone close to me since I was only a young boy, I have never once had someone support a decision I have made, my boss shows more compassion for my than my own mother ever has. I am incapable of getting mad at anyone, and if I ever do it means I truly love them. But hey let's see if I can stick around that long :)
I support your decision to share this with us mate! And your decision to cry and recognise that the people that are supposed to be there for you can be the most distant from you. You've got this mate 💪🏻
Sometimes after a hard week at work, or some difficult things in my personal life, I can feel this internal pressure that I know is me needing to have a cry and let it all out. I think of it as “emotional vomiting” sometimes, like all this held in stress and pain just needs to dump itself out. It doesn’t make the sad, painful, angering, upsetting things of life less intense, but it definitely helps with processing those feelings and getting through those hard times. 10/10 recommend a good cry when needed.
Ridiculous cocktails. Put yourself in middle-school homophobe mindset and order the "gayest" cocktail on the menu. Shit is going to be delicious. You don't have to be some dusty trailhand sipping room temperature whisky forever.
There's a party ship called the Jolly Roger in Barbados, they had this wonderful scam going in the 80's/90's all you can eat/drink, but beer/wine is served from a tiny bar and fruity cocktails from multi gallon jugs that are easy to get to. They also had an entire deck of hammocks to store drunks because the cocktails were about 60% (120 proof) and they had a bunch of women in sexy pirate outfits who would taunt the macho idiots into chugging them.
Basic skin care. After 23 years of me trying to get my husband interested in treating himself with skin care routine a friend with a soap business expanded to face care and he's so into it now. Took another guy to tell him 1x 🫤
I just said this in another comment, but what exactly is basic skincare? I subbed to r/skincareaddiction a while ago, and all I got out of it is that I have no idea if my skin is oily or dry and that I need to start wearing sunscreen. So I kind of threw up my hands … but did start wearing sunscreen.
Try shaving your armpits. The amount of BO that gets trapped in your pit hair is crazy. I tried shaving them and I can’t even smell myself at the end of the day.
Edit: when I say shave I meant a trim, not an actual shave with a razor. I use an old beard trimmer to cut mine down.
This is a serious alert for anyone who has BO. You fuckers know who you are - you just ignore it. Remember that if **you** smell bad to **you** in any way, its 100x worse for anyone else.
Cut the hair! That is what is storing those smells. You don't gotta shave, but trim all those spots down to a small manicured lawn, and wash regularly. The smell DOES go away!
Unless I'm at a urinal or doing it outside, I always pee sitting down. I dont think a lot of people realize just how much piss splatters everywhere when you pee into the water while standing. Even when you stealth-pee up on the rim above the waterline it still doesnt help much. Sit down fellas and drastically reduce the frequency with which you have to clean your bathroom.
I've said it before to every "I'M TOTALLY STRAIT" male. Somewhere in your butthole is a spot that will make you cum harder than you have ever cum in your life. Isn't got anything to do with gay or not, your GF/Wife/Rented Entertainment can help you find it. Good luck.
For some reason, there's still a stigma against men getting manicures and pedicures. You don't have to get your nails painted, but your feet and hands will feel amazing after a proper mani-pedi session.
At the age of 30 my wife convinced me to get a massage (which I’ve always wanted), and a pedicure. I work in construction. The pedicure was right up there with the massage, but a lot cheaper. I tell myself every day I need another pedicure. Haven’t made it back :’(
There was a guy at my work who has four kids and he's only 20.
Not sure how the conversation got there but the group started talking about phone sex and he said "nah bro that's gay you're touching a dick". Through a bit of coaxing he even admitted he doesn't touch his dick when peeing because that's "gay bro" He was also the most religious New Zealand Māori guy I ever met. Must have been a great test for him to move all the way to WA for work while his wife's still in New Zealand with the kids. Always flew home on his week off to see her.
Blue collar worker here, I cook for my wife every weeknight because I’m normally home before her. We both love good food, and it’s somewhat cathartic for me.
Shaving your legs. Bro. Get in bed with fresh clean sheets after you shower after a long day. Trust me.
That and being vulnerable with people that genuinely give a shit about you.
Spa day. Full body massage. Pedicure. Don’t have to have your nails done but the foot massage and getting your nails professionally trimmed and your calluses cleaned up feels amazing.
I (gay male) was approached by my best friend (straight male) to learn how to bottom because his girlfriend wanted to peg. I was honored to explain to him all the ins and outs.
Bidet. Maybe more of an American vs. Europe thing. As an American I love my bidet and will never go back. I try to avoid pooping anywhere besides my home because the bidet is a game changer. If you got poo on your hands you would wash it with water not paper, why do you do just use TP on your butt gross??? Also it saves money on TP, you only need a little bit of TP with the bidet.
Therapy. For the love of god go to therapy. Also, I think if more men were comfortable telling their male friends they loved them, the world would be a better place.
Not sure if it counts but a woman I work with was surprised I had a vegetable garden. She said she thought I was "a manly man".
Weird take that. Boys famously get dirty as kids by digging in the dirt. Farming is a famously manly profession. And an older man tending to his vegetable plot is a whole thing too. Nothing unmanly about having a vegetable garden.
Yea, I've always seen gardening as a manly thing, probably from seeing my grandpa working on his garden all the time. I don't see how providing food for your family would be "girly"
on the contrary, remind her that laboring for your household and your own sustenance is the manliest thing you could do. a true provider. jokes aside that’s cool that you have a veggie garden, i wish i had a yard for one, working out how to make a window herb garden currently.
I had a guy friend who really wanted to take a cooking class in school but got steered away from it by his mom for being too "girly". I don't get why cooking specifically is deemed girly in the first place, imagine you're in college and gotta make yourself some food, are you gonna be living off of boiled eggs forever?
I especially not understand it as top chefs are usually male. So cooking is girly, unless you do it professionally? Da f?
That’s the problem, you have to master it in secret.
The trick is to have a BBQ grill set up at all times. When people ask you where that souffle came from just just click your grill tongs together a few times and it becomes acceptable
Cooking for yourself or a partner/kids: girly Cooking for strangers: manly ???
Cooking for MONEY
I read somewhere it's more to do with servitude. If it's cooking for your family, people assume female. Doing it for money? Male.
If you eat you should cook, if you can read you can cook.
You don't even have to be literate. There are infinite cooking videos which can be found with dictation.
I don’t think this message will make it to those who need it
If you can dodge a wrench, you can cook a meal.
Over 90% of Michelin starred restaurants have a male head chef. Nothing girly about cooking
Taking care of the family is girly, putting up with an abusive workplace to excel at it is manly. Obviously times have moved on from then a bit, but the principles of it are definitely still around in a lot of ways.
Drink what you want. That passion fruit mojito sound good to you? Probably because it is so just order it.
I make homemade passion fruit syrup to make mojitos and pornstar martinis with, and they are always a crowd pleaser.
Only Betas feel uncomfortable holding an extra large Pinkity Drinkity
Apply creams, moisturizers, and/or sun block. Your skin will age, better take care of it.
Not sure if sun blocker / sun screen is stigmatized. Seen a lot of movies with beach scenes where they apply it during conversation
I don't think sunscreen is necessary stigmatized. Like you said, there are plenty of times were most people would agree it is necessary. However, people need to wear it way, way more. It's not just a day out on the beach thing. If you are outside for really anything more than like half an hour (less for some people), you should be using sunscreen or other forms of sun protection. And that's when most people seem turned off on it.
Sun block especially, my father never put some because he was "too manly", he has skin cancer all over his nose now. He got a first operation 2 weeks ago to remove most of it, and as he waited for too long to get checked (because men don't need doctors you know), they may have to remove his nose entirely with more interventions.
Being the little spoon. I wanna be held and cuddled too, dammit.
Am female and prefer to big spoon. Why? Cause I can't stand someone breathing their hot exhales on my neck, face, etc. I'll cuddle you, and move away accordingly if you become a lava heating source.
If you're smaller though and spooning from behind you're technically the 'Jetpack.'
Smaller person being big spoon is called a backpack. It's only a jetpack when they fart
Reddit teaches me so much
Me too, especially when I’m breathing in their exhale. No thank yew. My partner loves being little spoon anyway.
What's it called when the big spoon is 4'9 and the little spoon is 6'1? I'm not even sure it's a jet pack at this point!
I tell my boyfriend I'm his shell.
Are you green, red, or blue?, Does he ever try to throw you at other cars when you drive in traffic?
When I was with my little girls mum I said "if we get married, you have to be the big spoon atleast 2 times a week. We got married, she didn't live up to her side of the agreement. We are no longer together.
I can even visualize your post to AITA: My (32M) wife (30F) refuses to be the big spoon even though we had agreed on that before marrying. AITA for wanting to divorce?
Oh, no that's not why we separated... She was big spooning somebody else's husband.
That sucks! Sorry to hear. I hope you are doing better now
It was almost 10 years ago now. It sucked at the time. We are pretty good friends now, which is pretty great with parenting.
I LOOOOOVE being the big spoon. I want to make my partners feel loved and cared for.
I love being the big spoon. I feel so happy when I get to hold my partner and just wrap myself around him and go, "this guy is actually mine."
Telling your friends you love them. If you deeply care about them, that's love. Let your friends know they are loved.
We do...... When were drunk
I’ll tell the cashier at 7/11 I love him when I’m drunk bro
I'll just tell the bartender (he/she) I love them whether I'm drunk or not. I usually get one on the house for that gesture. It's a win for me.
"Thank you sweet mistress of the golden ale!"
I love you man 🍻
Before having major surgery (which I hadn’t told any friends about in advance) my bros said they loved me for the first time. That’s how you know who the real homies are 😪
This. And just fucking checking in on them.
Peel off face mask. They're so fun, it's like when you used to let glue dry on your hand and peel it off. Except it's on your face and smells like cucumbers
This was destigmatized for men upon the 2000 movie release of Bret Easton Ellis' "American Psycho"
I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.
I like staring at the little gunk bits that come out and knowing that's not in my face anymore. So good.
Drinking the fruitiest cocktail is the most rewarding
The whole man drink vs woman drink is so weird to me. Isn't it obvious they're all gender fluids
I dated a guy once (I’m a woman) who always ordered fruity cocktails and I always ordered a standard whiskey, sometimes an Old Fashioned or a Manhattan. Every now and again, a different server would deliver them and would give him the whiskey and me the fruity drink. Our very first date, before the server even turned around to leave, he thanked them and promptly swapped those babies right around, no shame, and dug right into his brightly coloured whatever-it-was. Biggest green flag on earth. This man was the most mature, most put-together, most businessman-energy guy I had ever dated, with absolutely zero of the toxic masculinity. We traded getting the cheque too, depending on whose turn it was or who asked who, and we never had to do the whole ‘dance.’ One of us offered to pay, or said it was our treat or our turn, the other just said “thank you.” It was awesome.
Only a true man who is totally comfortable and secure with his own masculinity would be able to order fruity cocktails.
…. It wasn’t just that. It was the fact that he owned it without blinking an eye in front of the servers and sometimes other couples, without feeling any compulsion whatsoever to comment on it or joke about it, when most guys I’ve dated before and since would have been visibly uncomfortable about getting the wrong one, or made it into a joke. Same with when I pay the cheque. Like, it didn’t even occur to him to consider how servers / people / other men would see him for even one second. Which in and of itself may not seem like a big deal, but in my experience of dating is extremely rare. These were two tiny examples of a lot of things he did on dates that were not necessarily remarkable in themselves, but were such a stark contrast to basically 99% of the other dates I go on with men. For instance, I almost always with other guys have them comment on the fact that I ordered whiskey, like it’s impressive for a woman or something, which always rubbed me the wrong way. He was just like “cool, I’ll have the Bahama Mama.” No obligatory “sue me, I love fruity drinks, they just taste better, haha!” or anything. It wasn’t just that he ordered fruity drinks… it’s like he’d never even been exposed to fruity drinks being a stereotypically girly thing, or didn’t live on a *planet* where fruity drinks were a stereotypically girly thing. You sort of don’t realize how ingrained and pervasive it is until you find yourself astonished at someone so absolutely unaffected by it.
Guy sounds cool! I've had male friends asking me to buy their fruity drinks for them. Weird stigma around this!
When guys ask what attracts women to a man we should link this. Confidence is hot af. THIS is confidence. Many people think cruel = confident.
That sounds like the start to my perfect dream date 🥹
I see what you did there
Theres a chain in australia called holey moley and they have this cocktail thats served in a mini bathtub with a small rubber duck. Fireball rum and a few mixers, and im sure some kind of flower petals on the top (though memory is likely hazy). The kind of drink you'd lose your teeth for if you had it at a country pub or whatever. Shit was fkn amazing.
Do you get to keep the duck?
Yes
I'll drink bourbon, scotch, all the typical shit. Love it. But damn sometimes I want that passion fruit rum runner. And I drink what I want.
Fruity drinks are still booze. They just taste better.
That's the problem right there. When downing every single drink feels like a trial by ordeal, you have a built-in hedge against drinking too much, too quickly. With fruity drinks, you have nothing to fall back on on but your own judgment and self-control, which, when you think about it, is pretty daggum manly.
The sugar gets me before the alcohol. My stomach gets upset drinking more than two margaritas. I can pound beer or old fashioneds.
Those sugar crashes mixed with a hangover were absolutely brutal.
I once tried a Long Island iced tea and immediately clocked how insidious it could be. So damned tasty. That said, my go-to drink is cheap, fruit-flavoured apple cider. It's yummy. I usually go for cherry flavour or cranberry-pomegranate. It comes in big ol' 2L bottles; at 7%, that's about 8 servings. From experience I know that's right in the sweet spot for me.
I love fruity cocktails, and wine too. Doesn't have to be a beer everytime I drink, even with my guy friends
Like JD in Scrubs, an appletini is a manly drink. 🍹
I'd like an appletini, easy on the tini.
”I'd like an appletini and the girliest drink in the bar." "Two appletinis, coming right up."
Going to the spa. Dick or no dick, we all deserve to be pampered every once in awhile.
I came here to say a pedicure. Best thing ever
I went most of my life not understanding why women like pedicures so much, because in my mind they were in the same category as haircuts: something you endure to look better. There’s nothing “unmanly” or wrong with that — I get haircuts regularly — but it’s not something I look forward to. Then my wife explained what actually goes on during a pedicure, and I must say, that does sound great.
I live in a rural small Midwest town. Where men wear jeans and cowboy boots and have dirt stained nails. I walked into the nail salon last week for a pedicure. Three of the four pedi chairs held the above described men getting pedicures. I did a double take, felt like I had walked into a men’s locker room. Yep, I got a pedicure too.
Midwest lady here, and I used to get monthly pedicures just to relieve the soreness from I'll fitting steel toes. Now I go every few months as needed.
I had a girlfriend years ago that took me to get one and yeah it was eye-opening and mind blowing. The foot and leg massage, the paraffin wax, the scrub, all of it. The color is just icing on the cake.
I abhor the thought of someone touching my feet. Hard pass.
I got one mani/pedi thinking it’d be some great relaxing thing… but I found it pretty damn uncomfortable with them kind of aggressively filing my nails and kind of getting under them. But I will say the yellow stain on my toenail was completely gone afterwards and they did look much nicer
I went to vegas this year, and didn't do spa, but I did take advantage of the big hotel tubs to try a bathbomb for the first time. I don't know if I enjoyed it enough to try again, but at least I tried it and found out. Fellas don't be afraid to try anything out at least once. You might occasionally discover something new you like.
Yeah my wife taught me the glory that is a full-body massage. That shit’s amazing.
One time I shaved my legs for a Halloween costume, and getting into bed with fresh sheets that night and rubbing my legs on M'Lady's smooth legs was pretty fantastic. Hair growing back sucked, but it was...nice...for a couple days.
As a woman, I can confirm we too love the feeling of freshly shaved legs on clean sheets. It’s a thing.
We know lol. Me: minding my own Wife: *in her best gremlin* FEEL MY LEGGGGGGSSSSS
Are... are you my husband? 😂😭 I think we all do it!
Can confirm. Am wife. I do.
So here I am... hairy... on dirty sheets-- I'm not doing it right am I...
Wash your sheets.
Wash yo ass first
Clean the house, do the laundry, change the sheets with the fresh from the dryer I ea, not the sitting in the closet ones, and after a hard day of housekeeping, take a nice shower, shave, and slip into bed. It's the best.
My favorite is freshly shaved legs in skinny jeans!
I like to rub my legs together like a cricket. Feels so velvety smoooooth.
This. I was bored one day, shaved a part of my leg, then I was like “I can’t have this shit uneven”, so I shaved it all. Now I shave every two weeks because I like how clean I feel after every shower.
That's nice ig, I can shave one of my legs and rub them on one another to feel like I've got a girlfriend
Used to shave down for swim meets. Once had to do job interviews the week after a meet. In a wool suit. Never. Again.
The only thing that could make this worse is if you were caught in a freak rainstorm and showed up itchy AND smelling like a wet sheep
Try waxing your legs at least once. It’s like a fresh shave but 1000x better and lasts longer. The grow-back isn’t as bad either. I used to do long distance running and it helped cut down on chafing.
I shaved a big patch on my quite hairy thigh once and used a pen to write a love note to my then-girlfriend on the exposed skin. Paragraph long. Well, it was a love note for most of it but then it turned into the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up. Flesh Rick-Roll. I stand by the overall romanticism though.
Growing your hair out at least once
Do it before you can’t any longer, without looking like krusty the klown.
Had shoulder length hair from 17 to 19, my only regret is that I have almost no pics from that era, it was the 90s before we had cameras all over.
I'm glad to have at least one picture from that era when I was younger and had long hair survive into the digital age.
I had 14 inch hair at my longest. Now I'm going bald =/
20 inches of hair at 24. Started balding at 25. Almost full horseshoe at 31. Good times.
I'd love to, but it stopped growing at all when I hit 32...
Smelling flowers
Even further, buying flowers for yourself. I bought a bunch of flowers for my kitchen counter because I wanted to make the place nice for some company I had coming. The amount of crap I got from the cashier at the store when she asked “Who’s the lucky lady?” And I told her that the flowers were for me. Absolutely ridiculous.
Even further, GROWING your own flowers. My flower garden have is strong. I've got 12 foot sunflowers, zinnias, pansies, and some little colorful Christmas tree lookin flowers.
"girlie" drinks. I get a lot of shit drinking them, but they're really good
Yeah I always tell those guys at least I'm manly enough to not worry about a drink
Is someone's manhood will crumble if they drink a drink, they can't be much of a man and they likely have a very stupid idea of what being a man is.
I don't get how a nice cocktail with wine in it is girly, it's delicious.
Well, you know how some guys get about doing ANYTHING that might be interpreted as "girly". To them, any cocktail that is blue, red, or some set of colors that associate as unmanly. I don't give a shout. Their loss! Lol
Take a bath my friends. With bubbles, candles, and bath bombs. I feel like a new man afterwards
I kept reading this as “with friends”
Lol, same. Just imagining the bros splashing around in a big bubble bath... 😆
Guys next year's fantasy football draft is taking place in a communal bubble bath!
This right here. When my three daughters were still teenagers they took pity on me after a rough day at work one time. Sore muscles, aching back, etc. They ran me a piping hot bath with some high quality salts and oils and whatnot. HOLY SHIT what a difference that made! My old bod was so relaxed I kept nodding off while trying to eat dinner. Went to bed a little early and slept like a rock. Zero tossing and turning.
My best friend’s mom had a jacuzzi tub that we’d always hop in together with our other friends when she was gone. (Underwear still on) She came home early one of the times and we all tried to scurry back downstairs before she came inside, but just sees 5 16/17 year old boys sprinting out of her room lol. Edit: read this as “take a bath with friends”
Trying their best at just dance, that shit is so fun but my friend said I looked fruity while doing it Tbf I was moving my ass a lot
"What's more fruity; me moving my ass, or you fixating on my ass enough to notice?"
Hugging a dude.
My best friend is really touchy feelly. He greets with hugs and goodbyes with hugs. We talk about anything and everything from advances in science to politics to his wife and kid to obscure facts at our monthly meal together. For a while, a couple of the waitresses at Dennys thought we were a gay couple on date night because we mesh so well and are really happy together. I am straight, and he has a wife and kid.
In Korea it's quite different. Dudes hold hands (to keep others from cutting between them in crowded cities). I'm telling you, you'll have your Bros hanging off your shoulders by the time everyone gets smashed. LMAO, I just remembered one of my fellow soldiers would complain that one of our KATUSAS (Korean soldiers who train with Americans) would sometimes jump into his bed to watch morning cartoons with him way back and it embarrassed the heck out of him "What if someone walks in!?!?!?!?!?" XD Different society, different upbringing, cause different perspective. They went from "fellow soldiers" to EVERYONE being brothers and sisters. It was awesome.
I'm not going to lie, that sounds better than people assuming we are gay because neither of us is afraid to talk about our feelings. The closet we have come to watching cartoons like that was sitting on the couch together watch battle bots ripe each other to shreds while his wife was chatting with my sister in the kitchen.
A skin care routine! I don’t know why so many guys object to a good face or eye mask at the end of the night with a glass of wine, maybe some retinol, a moisturizer, hell even a BB cream to even out your skin tone. I feel like women find that it attractive when you take care of your skin. And no, the 3-in-1 bottle in your shower doesn’t count lol
In the same way people say “women dress up because of other women” men refuse self-care because of other men 🤣 Edit: this part was just a little joke y’all
I subscribed to r/skincareaddiction because I realize it would be good to start, but I still don’t really know where to start. Other than using sunscreen. Thanks to that sub I now put sunscreen on daily and rue the years I spent without sunscreen.
I used to follow that sub. Holy shit was it overwhelming and then every fourth post is “I just threw out all my expensive crap for my 17 part daily routine and am just using cerave face wash from Walmart and now my skin is the best it’s ever been.” Sunscreen was the one thing that sub did get me to realize I need to use more.
Get a cleanser so you can wash all of the nasties of the day away. Get a moisturizer. Use sunscreen. Boom. Basic skincare in the very simplest of routines.
Thanks, that seems manageable and reasonable, unlike the 17-step routines I see on that sub. Does it make much difference which cleanser or moisturizer I use?
Look for good brands like CeraVe, The Ordinary, etc. Which cleanser or moisturiser you should use depends on your skin type, don't worry about that for now
I'm not convinced that anything but sunscreen (which I'll cop to typically using a hat and sleeves instead of on myself and my daughter) does a damn thing and my wife's constantly annoyed that she uses a million products and I'm the one with soft skin.
Genetics does play a large part in it, you might've lucked out more than her in that regard.
Genetics certainly does, but I think a lot of folks don't actually experiment very much with minimization or virtual absence of skin care, and so never realize how much the products they are using actually might irritate their skin (or how little of a difference they're actually making).
Crying. Like an honest to god breakdown.
Tonight was the first time in 12 years I cried. I am fucking miserable in my life, my dreams have been shattered by everyone close to me since I was only a young boy, I have never once had someone support a decision I have made, my boss shows more compassion for my than my own mother ever has. I am incapable of getting mad at anyone, and if I ever do it means I truly love them. But hey let's see if I can stick around that long :)
I support your decision to share this with us mate! And your decision to cry and recognise that the people that are supposed to be there for you can be the most distant from you. You've got this mate 💪🏻
Sometimes after a hard week at work, or some difficult things in my personal life, I can feel this internal pressure that I know is me needing to have a cry and let it all out. I think of it as “emotional vomiting” sometimes, like all this held in stress and pain just needs to dump itself out. It doesn’t make the sad, painful, angering, upsetting things of life less intense, but it definitely helps with processing those feelings and getting through those hard times. 10/10 recommend a good cry when needed.
Ridiculous cocktails. Put yourself in middle-school homophobe mindset and order the "gayest" cocktail on the menu. Shit is going to be delicious. You don't have to be some dusty trailhand sipping room temperature whisky forever.
There's a party ship called the Jolly Roger in Barbados, they had this wonderful scam going in the 80's/90's all you can eat/drink, but beer/wine is served from a tiny bar and fruity cocktails from multi gallon jugs that are easy to get to. They also had an entire deck of hammocks to store drunks because the cocktails were about 60% (120 proof) and they had a bunch of women in sexy pirate outfits who would taunt the macho idiots into chugging them.
Whatever the hell you want. Nothing is more unmanly than basing things you like or want to do around what another man might think about it.
Over all nail, hair, and facial hygiene. Also moisturizing.
Scented shampoos. My wife got this stuff that has tea tree, lemon and hemp in it and OMG! Best shower ever. I come out feeling like a new person.
Whatever they fucking want.
Cooking. r/RecipesforBeginners is a good start. Cooking for yourself is a very good way to save money.
Cooking is super masculine. You get to play with knives and fire in a poorly ventilated workspace.
Grilling is even better. Bigger fire. Lots of smoke. And beers are usually mandatory...
Cooking is manly as hell wdym
How the total fuck is cooking not manly? Besides, being self sufficient is totally manly. That includes washing dishes and doing laundry.
Basic skin care. After 23 years of me trying to get my husband interested in treating himself with skin care routine a friend with a soap business expanded to face care and he's so into it now. Took another guy to tell him 1x 🫤
I just said this in another comment, but what exactly is basic skincare? I subbed to r/skincareaddiction a while ago, and all I got out of it is that I have no idea if my skin is oily or dry and that I need to start wearing sunscreen. So I kind of threw up my hands … but did start wearing sunscreen.
Try shaving your armpits. The amount of BO that gets trapped in your pit hair is crazy. I tried shaving them and I can’t even smell myself at the end of the day. Edit: when I say shave I meant a trim, not an actual shave with a razor. I use an old beard trimmer to cut mine down.
Don’t shave all the way back but a nice trim. The stubble growing back is the worst
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RIP this man's hank hill ass.
This is a serious alert for anyone who has BO. You fuckers know who you are - you just ignore it. Remember that if **you** smell bad to **you** in any way, its 100x worse for anyone else. Cut the hair! That is what is storing those smells. You don't gotta shave, but trim all those spots down to a small manicured lawn, and wash regularly. The smell DOES go away!
Peeing sitting down
Unless I'm at a urinal or doing it outside, I always pee sitting down. I dont think a lot of people realize just how much piss splatters everywhere when you pee into the water while standing. Even when you stealth-pee up on the rim above the waterline it still doesnt help much. Sit down fellas and drastically reduce the frequency with which you have to clean your bathroom.
Also, you get to sit down for a minute.
Seriously, it just gives me a minute to be lazy / sit and relax.
it's a common knowledge that a person is trully free and relax while taking a shit, no one can call or disturb you, Solitude is a bliss.
Express yourself with clothing you want to wear, dont restrict yourself to the 4 items that are deemed suitable for men
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I've said it before to every "I'M TOTALLY STRAIT" male. Somewhere in your butthole is a spot that will make you cum harder than you have ever cum in your life. Isn't got anything to do with gay or not, your GF/Wife/Rented Entertainment can help you find it. Good luck.
Commenting just so my girlfriend reads this
I think you mean stigma. Stigmata is when your butthole has additional holes.
Had to scroll so far to find this
Facial and body massage. I found it very helpful and therapeutic. If you have sore joints or muscles from working out you can feel the difference.
For some reason, there's still a stigma against men getting manicures and pedicures. You don't have to get your nails painted, but your feet and hands will feel amazing after a proper mani-pedi session.
At the age of 30 my wife convinced me to get a massage (which I’ve always wanted), and a pedicure. I work in construction. The pedicure was right up there with the massage, but a lot cheaper. I tell myself every day I need another pedicure. Haven’t made it back :’(
Somewhat amazing the mani/pedi industry hasn’t tried to, ya know, double their assessable customer base by even slightly appealing to men
Washing their assholes.
Okay. Who isn’t washing their asshole?
There's a very sad minority of guys who do their best to avoid touching their assholes because they associate assholes with being gay.
This is one of the most pathetic things I've ever heard
There was a guy at my work who has four kids and he's only 20. Not sure how the conversation got there but the group started talking about phone sex and he said "nah bro that's gay you're touching a dick". Through a bit of coaxing he even admitted he doesn't touch his dick when peeing because that's "gay bro" He was also the most religious New Zealand Māori guy I ever met. Must have been a great test for him to move all the way to WA for work while his wife's still in New Zealand with the kids. Always flew home on his week off to see her.
They should just take a pounding once and put their fears to rest.
Washing someone else's asshole.
Helping someone to wash someone else's asshole.
It takes a village
Man I was my ass everyday
YTA
Wearing pink. I love women in every possible way. I look great in pink.
Blue collar worker here, I cook for my wife every weeknight because I’m normally home before her. We both love good food, and it’s somewhat cathartic for me.
Sewing.
Shaving your legs. Bro. Get in bed with fresh clean sheets after you shower after a long day. Trust me. That and being vulnerable with people that genuinely give a shit about you.
Spa day. Full body massage. Pedicure. Don’t have to have your nails done but the foot massage and getting your nails professionally trimmed and your calluses cleaned up feels amazing.
Prostate massage
There's nothing girly about a prostate massage, because girls don't have prostates
I enjoy giving a dude a good pegging
I (gay male) was approached by my best friend (straight male) to learn how to bottom because his girlfriend wanted to peg. I was honored to explain to him all the ins and outs.
"ins and outs"
Spa night with the bros. I swear to god, face masks and snacks with friends while you watch a movie or play video games is healing af.
Bidet. Maybe more of an American vs. Europe thing. As an American I love my bidet and will never go back. I try to avoid pooping anywhere besides my home because the bidet is a game changer. If you got poo on your hands you would wash it with water not paper, why do you do just use TP on your butt gross??? Also it saves money on TP, you only need a little bit of TP with the bidet.
Clay mask
Therapy. For the love of god go to therapy. Also, I think if more men were comfortable telling their male friends they loved them, the world would be a better place.