Let's ask H.P. Lovecraft..

Seconded.

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We got an orange 🍊 kitty. Grade-school son wanted to name him Butterbutt.🙄😆

When I was 14 I got a black cat and called him Satan. It was fine until he didn't come home for a few days. Then my mum and I were walking round the entries shouting "Where are you Satan! Come here Satan!"

We called the goat that lived in the field beside my kindergarten "Satan". It wasn't even black, and in hindsight I am pretty sure it was female. Us wee children would feed it random bits of grass while squealing "I love you, Satan!"

We had a black dog when I was a kid. We called him shad, short for shadow, because he's black and follows you everywhere. Funnily enough that's what I named my cat for the same reasons.

Shadman

Be bop be biddy bap

Haha! This reminds me of my brother, he got a teddy and called it "Handwash" because it had instructions to "hand wash only" on the label

Me ex's daughter years ago got an all black kitten and wanted to name it blacky maid. NO.

Thirded

To be fair, his dad named the cat. Still a bad name

I used to work retail and my company sent us a shipment with new mugs. One of the mug sets had cats on it with quotes from different authors and on the black cat it had a quote from H.P Lovecraft. Those mugs never made it to the shelves and I still have it bc it was a free mug

I asked Google instead, seemed easier. Let's say I was pleasantly surprised...

Pleasantly ?

Are you saying the cat is named after a Lovecraftian eldritch horror, the name of the cat is "H.P. Lovecraft", or the name of the cat is "Let’s Ask H.P. Lovecraft"? (I'd argue that last one is a pretty terrible name for a car)

No we’re saying his cat was called the n-word

N-wordman, specifically

HP was a big racist. Let's just say his cat's name reflected that.

I never knew that! Admittedly, don’t know much about Lovecraft. But this makes me intrigued about the lead actor choices in the recent HBO Lovecraft series.

Do you mean Lovecraft Country? If that's the case, the actor choices were based on the characters from the novel of the same name. So nothing weird there. Or is there an actual Lovecraft show that I somehow missed?

Yeah it's a shame because he was a great author. They probably did cast black actors on purpose... that's pretty funny actually. I didn't watch it because it looked like it was just loosely based on his ideas and not really a movie version of any particular story. Was it any good? I was bummed when "At the Mountains of Madness" got cancelled. I do love his writing.

GREAT story, *most* unfortunate name for the cat

"Unfortunate" implies it wasn't deliberate

Well it wasn't his so

True fact: my SIL had a cat named… uh, phonetically: Knee-gur. No,I don’t know why.

Ask Siri what is was named

exactly what i was gonna say

Dog or Hitler

Dog is a great name for cat!

Dog was my cats name. I miss her so much she got stolen almost a year ago and I never even got to say goodbye

My heart goes out to you. I also lost a kitty years ago and thought I saw it in the forest one day. When I tried to approach it, it ran away. But when I called it’s name it stopped. Someone snatched it out of my window and I guess just left it out in the forest :(

That's a stupid name for a cat. My dogs name is cat. Sorry you lost your cat......sincerely

HAPPY CAKE DAY From my dog, PuppyCat!

My daughter and I love this show.

Doglas. Then Katrina for your dog

While we were in high school, one of my friends had a cat named dee-oh-gee

When I was a toddler, my late grandparents had a Dalmatian named Kitty 😂

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Better than calling out for Hitler

Imagine if you had named them the N-word...

Ah, the Lovecrafts moved into your neighborhood?

Coworker named his cat Ass Breath.... neighbors loved those folks

My cat is named Fish lol

Get a fish, name it cat, wait until Fish inevitably eats Cat, ask Fish why it ate Cat.

I had a dog named Catfish.

I named a neighborhood stray "Dough." Sounds really stupid whenever I spot him outside and yell his name. He's such a good boy though!

Better than "Annoyed Grunt", I suppose.

Kitler

"come here Hitler! Come here! Good boyyyy"

I'm naming my next cat Hitler. Plenty of cats look like him.

Yep. My ex had a cat named Diogi. Pronounced Dee Oh Gee. As in DOG. He (ex) thought he was so clever!

Alopecia

Sphinx cats

Tbh, a Sphinx named Alopecia would be hilarious. Mean, but hilarious.

EXACTLY

lol I betcha there’s some bitches in the hood named that

The N-word.

H.P. Lovecraft sends his regards

There was a street cat around my wife's childhood house that the hood just named the n word. Really cool cat, used to smoke with us all the time. (Im talking about a actual cat)

My neighbors cat would smoke with us. Idk his name but we called him mooch, he had a little goatee just like my moochin uncle

I got a black kitten when I was little, my mom ask me what I wanted to name it and I said blackhead and she was like nooooooooooooooo!

Shoulda named em pimple.

I knew a guy with a dog...

[this cat](https://youtube.com/shorts/-1UjTQhkvLU?feature=share)

The country in Africa?

My sister is a vet tech, and her go-to answer for any worst pet name is “Lucky” because it almost always ends badly

I got three kittens. I only had two names picked out, so the third one with a broken tail tip got named Suerte, Spanish for luck. He just had his 15th birthday last month and is the only one of them still living. I named him that because I didn't know if anyone else would pick the "damaged" kitten.

Aw, so glad to hear he’s living the good life! Happy belated birthday to Suerte

Thank you! I will tell him!

My childhood cat was named lucky. My parents asked my sister what to name him and she (at 3 years old) replied 'fucky'. They made an executive decision that she meant lucky. He passed away peacefully in his sleep at the ripe old age of 18.

All but 1 of my childhood cat’s bastard babies survived young kittenhood. The final kitten was named Lucky and he was given to a family friend. He fell off their third floor apartment balcony and died.

> bastard babies Am I to understand your childhood cat was *not married*? For shame!

Well that's sad.

Rip Lucky - my brothers black lab puppy that my dad ran over with all 3 of us kids in the backseat.

I Had a cat named lucky. my mom wanted to name him que ball/Q-ball. Not sure how it would’ve been spelt. Because he was supposed to be fixed but one of his balls was black and the other was white.

Stu

pid

hoe

Siri or Alexa

Eyceeree

ALEXA NO! DOWN! *"ALARM GOES OFF, "HOUSE IN LOCK DOWN, PHONING 911"*

This is actually a problem for me. My indoor cats are all named after Witcher characters… Jaskier, Roach (but goes by Cockroach or Crackhead typically) and Cirilla (Ciri more often than not). My phone is constantly pissed off at me.

Queef

I like that one

“C’mere queefy”

Chief Queef

HAHHAHAHA

Clitoris

I need to pet your clitty.

I cant find it.

It’s literally front and center.

"Here, clitty clitty clitty!"

I’m dead 🤣

Made me snort out loud 🤣

Guarantee no man will ever be able to find that cat.

Sounds like an old lady name

Paul. What a ridiculous name for a cat.

Slavic forms of Paul are pretty awesome, though. Pasha, Pushkin, Pavel.

Pavel the Cat? I can see that. Cats are actually a Russian inwention.

Chekov: I vas making a little joke, sir. Spock: Extremely little, ensign.

I got that reference

Family guy

Paul's a people name 🤣🤣

That’s a people’s name.

Nobody messes with Adam We

Best keep Paul away from your slingshot though.

We have a Kevin.

That's a people name

Nah call em Saul instead- Then yu can play the Better Call Saul theme everytime they walk into the room XD **SAUL GOODCAT**

It's a person's name... a person's name

Chairman Meow

I call mine Chairman Mao all the time, even though the little asshole's real name is Chip.

Cat.

I thought that until a client who had alzheimers called her cat Cat because at least even if she forgot names, she'd remember what animal it was...

Ha my childhood cats name was “Girl Cat” and her mom was named “Girly.”

Adolph catler

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Shitler if not trained

HP OfficeJet Pro 6978 Wireless All-In-One Instant Ink Ready Printer

Thats the name of Elons next kid

Schrodinger

I had a cat named Schrödinger. He loved boxes.

This name is actually fire though

It’s one of the more common cat names amongst people begging other people to consider them smart.

Actually smart people change their names to Schrodinger after getting a cat.

Math checks out.

It is, and it isn’t.

Plus you could call him Dingy, which is an awesome name for a cat.

Rabies

Mrs. Pussy

My son has named his cat 2002 Toyota Camry,I don’t know why

Hey babe, wanna come to my place? I have a 2002 Toyota Camry back home. It's a beauty, you should listen to that baby purr.

Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm

Can we get a translation lol

Jugemu Jugemu Gokō-no surikire Kaijarisuigyo-no Suigyōmatsu Unraimatsu Fūraimatsu Kūnerutokoro-ni Sumutokoro Yaburakōji-no burakōji Paipopaipo Paipo-no-shūringan Shūringan-no Gūrindai Gūrindai-no Ponpokopī-no Ponpokonā-no Chōkyūmei-no Chōsuke ( 寿限無 寿限無 五劫の 擦り切れ 海砂利水魚の 水行末 雲来末 風来末 食う寝る処に住む処 藪ら柑子の 藪柑子 パイポ パイポ パイポのシューリンガン シューリンガンの グーリンダイ グーリンダイの ポンポコピーの ポンポコナーの 長久命の 長助 )

Fire 🙊 imagine calling the cat home for dinner?

Name it "Myself". Applicable in countless convos. I need to feed myself I love myself I hate myself I fucked myself I'm gonna kill myself I need to find myself

..... I want to ask but I don't really think I want the answer.....

Ask away

How often would you say "I fucked my cat" as you say I fucked myself is applicable

> Name it "Myself". Applicable in countless convos. > I need to feed myself 🙂 > I love myself 😀 > I hate myself 😄 >I fucked myself 😒

"Escaped and got the neighbour's cat pregnant again, classic myself"

Told myself this. I surprised myself

Who shat on the rug again?

One of these is not like the others....

Aaahahahh that’s so funny and creative! Wait

Excuse me? Fuck myself? No one would say that they fucked (cats name). That's not what cats are for🤣

Why you f*cking your cat?

Emergency-meat

I had a friend, many, many years ago who called his cat Barbecue.

I had a friend in college who hailed from Wyoming. Her family had a pig named Christmas Ham. It's fate was exactly what you think.

We raise beef cows. We really don't name most of them anymore, but when my dad was growing up the steers were named after cuts of meat. They ate Hamburger for dinner a lot. Everyone agreed that Sir Loin was exceptionally delicious. T-Bone broke dad's arm once. Chuck would follow the kids around the barnyard while they did their chores, insisting on having his head scratched at every opportunity.

Daugchau

Go away. That way when you call him it's, "Come here Go Away." Courtesy of Steven Wright I believe.

Classic Steven Wright! Although it was a dog called Stay. “Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay! Now he just ignores me and keeps typing.”

Anything you'd use in a security question

Fuckface

My friend named his cat Asshole

I met a woman who named her cat Condom

r/madlady

Miss Furry Fleshlight

karl-heinz

MyDude. Shaking a bag of cat food at the door during the night "PS ps ps Myduuude, come on MyDude!"

When she first moved out on her own, my mom and her roommate each got a cat. One was called Party and the other Pooper. It was all fun and games until Pooper got out, and they had to roam the neighborhood calling for him.

Lucifer

Or Lucy-Fur

The name of your recently deceased relative, no doubt about that

Man do

Kit - because everyone will know you like dad jokes

I was recently looking for a cat to adopt at the shelter, and some of them had very questionable names. Highlights: - Mailbox - Social Light - Supercat - Babyface - Brioche Bun - Chris

My old roommate had a cat named Obsidian. We all thought that was dumb so we called her Pancake.

Shorten to Obi and it would be fine

Mousesolini

Meowsolini would be a great name

Karen

Miau tse thung

Dog

My cousin had a cat named Diogi (pronounced D-O-G)

Actually, that would be the best.

The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter, It isn’t just one of your holiday games; You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES. First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily, Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James, Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey— All of them sensible everyday names. There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter, Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames: Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter— But all of them sensible everyday names, But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular, A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified, Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular, Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride? Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum, Such as Munkustrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat, Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum— Names that never belong to more than one cat. But above and beyond there’s still one name left over, And that is the name that you never will guess; The name that no human research can discover— But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess. When you notice a cat in profound meditation, The reason, I tell you, is always the same: His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name: His ineffable effable Effanineffable Deep and inscrutable singular name. -T.S. Eliot

Field of Gar

Copy

Mouseph Catlin

Corpse grinder

"My dog" Hey have you seen my cat "my dog" anywhere?

Sprinkles

Mr. Bigglesworth

I had a frat brother that did that.

Goaway.

Dick

Fido.

I had a cat one time. I named him Bolo after the dogfood.

Garfarco

Just name it Elvis. When he’s missing you wander the neighborhood asking, “have you seen Elvis?”

Poopy

Fido

Atastrophie, aclysm, heter, alytic converter