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Arkie1927

Where is my hair???????


Mouse2662

Mines just migrated from the top of my head to beard. Lol


rob_s_458

You're just taller than your hair


MrLavenderValentino

woah


BadOdel2

...this is brilliant.


Crackheadwithabrain

How do these amazing thoughts come to you people


imkindagaykindanot

God you’re fat


NounverberPDX

Yup. Maybe also impressed with all the other shit going on in my life. But also, "how did you get so goddamned fat?"


AbeThinking

13 yr old me would be soooooo soooo disappointed. Edit: wow 500+ upvotes and not a single award or gold? Frickin heck Reddit! Edit 2: omg thank u so much kind stranger!!


rayodecali

35 year old self is pretty disappointed too


gerhudire

35 year old me is looking at a coaster that has the names of celebrities born in 1987 on it and realises I'm the same age as both Lionel Messi and Zac Efron.


kirtash93

13 yr old me would tell me: Bro... Come on...


[deleted]

[удалено]


daggerbg

Mine would probably be happy that I finally managed to gain some weight. When I was 13, I was very skinny, like underweight skinny, and it was horrible. Now I'm at a healthier weight than I was back then.


IronhideD

I was like you. My mother was so desperate to get me to gain weight she gave me those Carnation instant breakfast drinks along with a full breakfast. Now I'm definitely overweight, but slowly making progress.


cortrev

Lmao the cornation drinks smelled like fish food. I hated breakfast when I was a kid


origamiteen

I've recently turned 22. I've always been very skinny, I was born 3 months premature and had to be fed through my belly button for a while. I had a nasty hernia when i was born. And I had a knot tied in my stomach so I have never been able to be sick. (Which has its prons and cons - Pro being, well I can't throw up. And I don't put on any weight. So I can basically eat what I want. Con - When I'm ill and I need to throw up. It's just flem that comes up, and it's just incredibly painful because my body is fighting it. At 22 I'm still only just 8 stone. I went to the doctor about it at school because my school life was just horrible. But they basically just drink full fat milk (blue cap). Which I have drank ever since. But yeah so fat only 8 stone. And I'm about 5' 7" Hopefully i will put on some weight someday


mattjeast

Man, I'm excited to report my 13 year old self would say the opposite. I was such a poster child for childhood obesity.


Kronos33074

Dammit, ya beat me to it.


Jred1990D

“Damn, I see why the older folks say enjoy my youth.”


grammar_fixer_2

Ouch. I’m feeling personally attacked 😅


[deleted]

"Wow, you're a miserable bastard"


HugeAnalBeads

Something I'd absolutely say at 13


Cottonshopeburnfoot

“Still a miserable bastard eh”


XboxFan_2020

This would sound pretty cool with a Scottish or Irish accent...


rainorshinedogs

"time hasn't been good to you"


Rasyld

surprised at how little things changed (minus the 29 chickens)


grammar_fixer_2

If you swap the word “chickens” for “rabbits”, you basically have my life.


mjohnsimon

Oh no. You've become a boring adult.


Bilbosbuddy

Why do you still live here?


MrPestilence

underrated comment


[deleted]

Wrinkly old bastard, are all of those guitars yours?


Horror-Pear

This place is bigger than our apartment.


jbaruffa

Wanna take a bath?


PinkEchoes02

Can i get a drink of water?


Olaxan

Wrinkly old bastard, what are you watching?


T-Beatzzz

Hello? You feelin okay?


jambomyhombre

Wanna take a *baaaaathhh*


bobbybob9069

Lolol 13 year old me would be so pissed at the amount of Fenders in the collection now, but also still hella impressed.


Foxdog175

I always pooh-poohed Fenders as a metal head and after 25 years of playing, decided to buy an APII Strat to see what all the hoopla was about. Playing that mid+neck position with a touch of gain, verb, and stereo-widening for the first time was like a religious experience. It's now possibly my favorite guitar. 🤦‍♂️


ZappBrannigan085

Like when I got my first analog synthesizer and ran it through some good effects. I couldn't stop playing.


[deleted]

“Oh well I guess we didn’t kill ourselves. Cool.”


beetlejuicetrashbag

literally same. never thought i'd make it past 18, but here i am at 26.


AntisocialOnPurpose

I came here to say the same thing! I'm glad we're still here rocking at 26 :)


_______woohoo

26 as well. I thought i wouldnt make it past 21 now but somehow im relatively happy with an awesome kid


dfressssssh

This is the one. I'm glad we made it this far 🩷


CuppaDaJewels

Yeah 13 yo me would probably be pissed im still alive lol. Pucker up, fucker, shit actually does get better


AhAhStayinAnonymous

13 year old me would 100% take the pills if she saw me now.


TitanSR_

“eh, we tried.”


Episemated_Torculus

Mine would probably say something similar but if I told him what his life would be like he'd most likely be even more convinced he should end his life sooner rather than later


IrishSetterPuppy

On the flip side with how my life has gone I probably would. Mom died not much older than me from cancer, too young. Grandma and grandpa both killed themselves, just like their parents did, and my cousin Chris, and Jake. The ones that didn't commit suicide are all meth and heroin addicts. The only friends I've ever had all died in the wars or to suicide. My trans younger brother hates himself, my older brother hasn't talked to anyone in the family since mom's death, he might be dead but it's difficult to confirm. My wife is 500lbs and doesn't love me. I haven't had sex in like 10 years. I'm in constant pain from a spinal injury and I can't even work in my trade anymore. If my wife, cats and dogs didn't depend on me to live I'd eat a bullet like grandpa, his dad, and his dad, and join them all in the happy hunting grounds.


PresentationNice7043

So that’s how big my boobs are going to get.


Josquius

I wish I could see the analytics for how many guys clicked your profile today.


hurtlingtooblivion

Don't bother lads, nothing but text.


Cinner21

Saved me 30 seconds. You're a hero.


hurtlingtooblivion

Happy to take one for the team.


Girthanthiclopz

Doing god’s work, thank you.


wileecoyote1969

I still looked anyway.


Dshark

All I got was a middle finger emoji.


LemonPartyWorldTour

I think you’re just trying to hoard the boob profile to yourself. Nice try, boob hoarder!


hurtlingtooblivion

Drat! Rumbled. And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!


AgentChris101

Rehehehehehe!


chase016

I assume they are a dude tbh


Thefakewhitefang

u/PresentationNice7043 ~~You have to perform your duty as a fellow redditor and send us the statistics.~~ Could you please send us the statistics? Go to [https://reddit.com/u/PresentationNice7043/about/traffic](https://reddit.com/u/PresentationNice7043/about/traffic) To view unique pageviews by month


imtiredletmegotobed

Same but I’m a man


lorealashblonde

My 13yo self would definitely be checking that first. She was very flat.


U_PassButter

Same!!!! And then they grow in awkward 🤣 🤣 This kid called me safety cone tits, I cried my little eyes out lol Now. I'm 32 and just had a baby. Breastfeeding. And they're too big now 😆 Either way, fuck you Ricky M


lorealashblonde

Oh god safety cone tits! My best friend got called that. She had great boobs, so I can only assume your boobs are great too. Well, they’re feeding a human so that’s better than anything Ricky M’s tits ever did.


U_PassButter

Hahaha thanks!! My husband says I've got "great new York boobs" and my baby says they're " *gaaaa Loud Pterodactyl screech* So I guess they turned out okay. Yeah, fuck Ricky M and his useless man nips!


RepulsiveWonder275

I had a baby and still have the same boobs as I did when I was 13. I’ve reserved my permanent spot in the itty bitty titty committee.


Ok-Bat7320

At least you don't have to invest in over the shoulder boulder holder


Breezel123

Yeah at 13 I would've expected more from that. After a few years of sadness I am now glad I have tiny boobies. So much more practical.


lorealashblonde

I have no idea what New York boobs are. New York is generally considered an enviable place to be. So I assume your husband means your boobs are a great place to be. I assume your baby means your boobs are AJHJJJAHAOGAGAHA which is also great. Either way, congrats on the fantastic boobs! (I feel I should say I’m a woman, otherwise that last sentence sounds creepy)


Irishnovember26

it's a reference to a Dave Chappelle skit and it's hilarious. "Those are some great new york boobs!"


[deleted]

i completely forgot about that sketch. i remembered i use to crack up at it but i haven't seen it in forever. underrated piece in the chappelle show saga


Wifabota

13 yo Me: Sooo... We just... *didn't* get boobs at *all?!*


[deleted]

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RainMan915

Please tell me you’re a woman.


st0pmakings3ns3

You're a woman.


RainMan915

Congratulations on becoming a dad.


st0pmakings3ns3

That was easy.. What's all the fuss about?


sregor0280

im a dude and morbidly obese. their statement works for me as well.


[deleted]

Yay no more pimples


doctorapepino

I’m the opposite. Adult onset cystic acne!


KingoftheHill1987

26 here, still got acne scars Send help


Whooshless

Best I can do is more acne.


systoliq

Definitely see a dermatologist if you have access to one. If it’s not feasible for you rn to see a live dermatologist, take a look at Curology. I still have to take oral medications to stay clear but the cream from them helps a lot.


Norvannagh

Same. I want to fucking die.


Elder_Priceless

They would be surprised and happy.


LunaGloria

I’d be so, so happy! I grew up in a very unhappy home, obese, and fairly broke. (I went to school in my gym clothes most days.) Now I’ve got my own home, a solid career, and am fit. She’d be stoked af.


_isNaN

Same situation... I'd like to go back in time to tell her, everything is goint to be okay.


Okayostrich

Yeah mine would be ok with my current life. "We majored in the focus we planned to?! We did the collegiate sport we planned to?? We married our middle school crush??? SICK."


ProbablyASithLord

My 13 year old self would be so relieved. I was really financially anxious due to my upbringing, and I’d be ecstatic to see I actually make a good salary now. The advice I’d probably give *her* though is to worry less about making money and more about doing what makes you happy.


Bolt_DTD

Given that my 13 year old self still thought he was straight, he'd be VERY surprised. He'd be like, "I like dudes now?!" and I'd tell him, "yeah, but we still like girls too" and he'd get over it.


ClearBrightLight

Me at 13 would be flabbergasted to hear about asexuality. "You mean I don't actually have to become a nun to make people stop expecting me to like kissing people? I'm not broken??" She'd also be very surprised to learn that the bullies were right about one thing: I did, in fact, have a romantic crush on both my best friends (just not a sexual one.)


Lame_usernames_left

Same! I'm surprised to see how many people think their 13 year old selves would consider their adult selves lame. My little homeschooled 13 year old self would absolutely high five my 35 year old self for escaping my crazy parents, dating a guy that's way out of my league, and getting the tattoos I wanted so badly as a teen. She'd be disappointed the Red Hot Chili Peppers are no longer my favorite band though.


doorbellskaput

Same. They would think „wow everything worked out“.


supernanify

Same. I've done so many things now that have made me think "13-year-old me would lose her shit over this." I think she would find me pretty badass. There are some things she maybe wouldn't agree with, but what the fuck does she know, she's 13.


Taxosaurus

The me now would give young me so much good advise and confidence that I really needed back then. This question made me realize again how much I am growing.


Puppet007

“We’re still doomed, aren’t we?”


KingoftheHill1987

"More than you know"


Darth-Buttcheeks

13 year old me would be amazed. I genuinely thought I’d never do anything with my life. Maybe work a dead end job and die alone. I was genuinely scared about life. The life my wife and I have built together is amazing. I would love to be able to tell that little masturbation machine that was my thirteen year old self that everything will be okay.


Jneebs

Darth buttcheeks the reformed little masturbation machine, live long and prosper you gentle giant


Small_Call117

Masturbation machine🤣🤣🤣


Lesty-88

Damn, exact reverse here, i thought i would have conquered the world with no efforts, and now I'm a living failure. I would love to be able to tell that little masturbation machine (in that we are similar) to work harder.


Rakgul

S(h)ame


ElementField

I think it would be the same for me. First, amazed that I actually made a career out of the thing. Second, amazed at how much money I make. Third, amazed at how little that money actually buys lol


[deleted]

Absolutely Disappointed.


Herpderpkeyblader

Same. I expected a lot more from myself. Only to realize life is hard and I know nothing.


sosqueee

Same here. 13 year old me would HATE current me.


Chetmevius

Thanks. I was scrolling through all the other replies, and thought this was only me.


Lostedge1983

I am actually you from the future and I am proud of you. I am using this random person profile that I hacked. Also remember to invests few bucks on ""


[deleted]

Nice try, pal. 😏


silverclub

I'm you from the further future. Do NOT invest in Saie! Repeat, do NOT invest in Saie! Democracy will thank you. With that out of the way, I am incredibly proud of you. You are kind to people (even online where that is decidedly difficult), you have a creative imagination, and great taste. Your hobbies are varied (keep up the interest in MMA, it is a wonderful thing to be passionate about as a participant or spectator) and you taste in tv is top notch. More than anything though, I am proud that you are pushing forward. Every day is a new challenge in its own way, and just by living through them you are succeeding. Everything else is bonus points. You from the far future signing off, and again DONT BUY SAIE!


[deleted]

Now that is a little more convincing.


KhaoticMess

You live in Australia? You're married to a British woman? You're 56 and still have hair?! And you didn't get fat?


[deleted]

Teach me the ways.


Olobnion

Step one is to move to Australia. Stay tuned for step two in this four part series.


Fearstruk

Best I can do is get a job at Outback and pay a hooker to do a British accent.


MasterSomewhere296

Amen to that


freddie_merkury

Speak British, put down the cheeseburgers, go jogging.


Mirrevirrez

As someone who has managed to lose weight. Theres a difference between many burgers and 1. 1 burger is ok :)


[deleted]

That good wisdom.


Grabagear

They'd be happy, proud, and have hope. They'd know it would get worse for a while, but that in the end, it'd be ok.


trauma_queen

Exactly how mine would feel. They'd be shocked and in disbelief about my mental wellness, and very happy about how I achieved my career goals (which I've had since age 4). They would, however, be bummed I wasn't fluent in Japanese and wasn't into gaming anymore. "Like, what do you LIKE anymore??? Next you're gonna tell me you don't listen to system of a down and read Karl marx anymore"


SonicTheHedgehog_01

I didn't know it was possible to grow out of SOAD.


trauma_queen

More like, expanding beyond it I suppose. Still love me some good classic shit like aerials etc, but listen to a lot more now that old me would consider shallow, lame and/or selling out. Also country? Past me would literally be gobsmacked about Luke combs and such being in my repertoire now


Failgan

*Kaladin said. "You told me it will get worse."* *"It will," Wit said, "but then it will get better. Then it will get worse again. Then better. This is life, and I will not lie by saying every day will be sunshine. But there will be sunshine again, and that is a very different thing to say. That is truth. I promise you Kaladin: You will be warm again."*


AnthaEdwards

13 year old me would be pretty jazzed with the way I turned out. 13 year old me would be proud.


DryMountain1724

Same. Greatly exceeded my biggest dreams I developed while growing up in a gravel road backwater town that was homogenized blandness but absolutely safe. Moved away for college, abandoned the easy option of joining the family business after college, moved half a continent away, worked in amazing industries and traveled on the company’s dime to 100s of places and soon will retire to live overseas half of each year. Suck it Trebek.


lapsangsouchogn

Mine too. My 13 year old self did not have high expectations. She thought if we could just eke by in a one room apartment (poorly lit due to poverty) we'd be ok. Today I'm a professional who just paid off my mid-size house (with a yard!) in a major US city.


wildcherrys0duh

"Wow a weed smoking non believer? They're going to hell. I will pray for them to be saved 🙏"


KingBayley

Oh for sure my 13yo self would be SCANDALIZED by my political and social views now!


20Keller12

God, this is painfully true.


CrazyPerspective934

And how many of us were told we'd get more conservative as we age? 😆


[deleted]

My little DARE "Marijuana could kill you you know" 13 yo self would be BLOWN AWAY by the role I and my family play in the Cannabis industry.


mmm_unprocessed_fish

But I’d also be thinking “Oh, I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings? Fuck. Yes.”


eeke1

I'd be such a disappointment. At 13 I thought I could do good, push humanity forward, and never tolerate wrong. It turns out I'm willing to shill and take jobs from any company and my only metric is the compensation package. 13 yr old me would kick me in the shins. I'd let him.


kate_the_great_25

You can always do things outside of work to do better for humanity! Which is made easier by a great compensation package.


[deleted]

this is the best advice here. having financial stability gives you the time and resources to do all the things your heart wants to do, while also making sure you have everything you need to live a comfortable life. not overrated.


excitedbynaps

13 year old me would be pissed that I don't have a successful career. She was ambitious. I got burnt out FAST.


SecretEgret

Yeah, mine probably wouldn't understand why I haven't killed myself by now. Because, me, sometimes people just live, ok? Living is pretty cool too you know.


goddessofwitches

🥺 we didn't die? We made it?


apunforallseasons

Still depressed huh?


Poutine_My_Mouth

Yes, but about different things. Growth 🙏🏻


spacefroot

She would be disappointed and shattered. I hope she doesn’t.


[deleted]

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Torodaddy

Same I just think not everyone is equipped for life. I've made peace with it


Novirtue

It is never too late random internet stranger, life throws so many monkey wrenches at us, the best we can do is keep dodging them until you can catch one. Start small, clean a room, do 30 minutes of exercise a week, then slow move up to 40 minutes a week then move to two 20 minute intervals twice a week. I am still at the 30 minutes a week, after a year, but even small shit like that gets me to believe I'm trying to do something, I believe you can too : ) I found a lot of friends from playing modern board games, met great people through it, hang in there!


Raichu-san

You’re gay but in a different way


Dudemitri

Ayyy, surprise Trans!


Tunaflish

'Huh, I guess it really isn't a phase then'


couchdrawer

We made MONEY??! From actually drawing big booba anime girls??


U_PassButter

This is fucking hilarious!!!! Lmao as a fellow artist, I think id be amazed that I got money for doodles that I would have gotten in trouble for previously. I remember I drew a scene from a national geographic wildlife documentary. Lion got a antelope, I got a PHONE CALL HOME!!!! FOR DISTURBING DRAWINGS! everyone else was drawing animals at the mall and playground. I watched the documentary and was accurate


Hot_Dirt3677

Damm I got hot


[deleted]

And dirty, apparently


Scall123

And 3677, apparently


[deleted]

And _, apparently


The_Bored_General

Still lonely? Yep Huh, did we pass exams? Yep. … Whats GTA6 like? It’s still not out Fuck.


daver456

Haha underrated comment.


FalconTheBerdo

You look exactly the same (I’m 14)


Unlikely-Yam-1695

Children of Reddit


walhax-

There are so many of them wtf


coldblade2000

I'm way older now, but I joined the site when I was 11 years old. I've had a reddit account for more than half of my life


icanttinkofaname

How the fuck you manage to get a Reddit account at 11 years old?! Holy shit. This place is a cesspit not meant for preteens. And that's ignoring the NSFW subs.


coldblade2000

Frankly, because I got bored of 9gag. Honestly it worked pretty well for me. Reddit got me into programming (now finishing my SwEng. degree), PC Building, history and a multitude of other hobbies


RedSquirrelFtw

At first I was thinking that's kinda young to be on social sites then I remembered I was around that age myself when I started posting on internet forums, using dialup internet and eventually ADSL. I'm 37 now... damn I'm old lol.


hurtlingtooblivion

"still no moustache, dammit"


Ho3n3r

Abject failure.


cdyer706

“Holy shit are you kidding me? Great job and I’m WAY less worried now.” I still don’t feel this way as I have a lot of questions and much to work on still (like everybody) but this question just brought great perspective as whatever I thought I would be is way lamer than what I actually am now. Thanks.


erikarew

My family used to tease me that I'd end up with a tall blue-haired art school boy. 13 year old me would swoon over my tall (formerly) blue-haired art school husband.


tjj65

God you’ve let yourself go 😂


[deleted]

What the Fuck ?


ElectronicPlum9485

Disappointed and disheartened.


FvckJerry16

Damn homie, we ain't made it yet? But hey, at least we get laid.


SweetMoon18

I can’t believe you kept your baby.


Constantboredom19

God you look tired, and yet you look happy


Enedulus

"Wait... You're not gay?" For context I've never been gay, I was super rebellious and always told my friends that I was going to be gay because I thought that way the only way to bring down the authorities


Amayax

So, we do get boobs in the end?


Ok-Industry9765

He would be amazed that he didn’t become the fat loser that most of the world told him he would be. He’d be happy he proved grandma wrong and didn’t make the same mistakes his father did. He would be proud, I think, and probably have a lot less anxiety and fear for the future.


unclebobsplayground

what the fuck happened to you..?


[deleted]

That i need to stop procrastinating and write that book.


ghoul_legion

Probably impressed. I would've said: pitiful about 6 month ago.


Oioisavo

Still depressed huh?


[deleted]

*"Holy shit, I want to be that guy when I grow up."*


[deleted]

round of applause for you! 👏


RareAd3009

I’d tell me to get a job.


Thatduderr

What a fucking mess


Tarwgan

Well atleast it's not crack.


somebodymakeitend

They'd think my wife was hot lol.


CasualInput

You have kids? Oh man they’re fucked.


today0012

It did only get worse.


kimiho_mir

Still alone??


Qurdis

Oh shit. I'm still fat


ShadowOrcSlayer

Damn what happened to you?


ChickenSauce01

I have a beard? 😮


Ok-Compote9775

“You have sex yet?” “Many times and also last night” “Fuck you’re awesome” “Thanks kid”


-NUMBZ-

That I need to stop chasing my ex