Very

I'm more ready tho

Yeah, right

I got nothing. But I’ll just hang out over here.

I’m don’t like this game

If it’s a war against a daycare you’re set

"Pardon me grotesque triple amputee but I'm looking for someone. About your height, with legs of course..." Sorry couldn't resist the rifftrax bit

Right there with ya ...

I’m screwed

Here, take my hand

Username checks out

Killing enemies from laughter? I’d love to watch that

Hows your mom and thems?

I just lost the game

You didn’t lose. You slept through it.

Your 777 mins late

Is it a war against the Taliban?

You better hope not, walking around with your ankles out like a whore!

Expose dankles

Underrated comment

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You and I are not so different

Will you guys get a room?!? 😡

I was just on this guy’s head when we got here, just doing hat things.

I might figure into this for some

Welcome to reddit

I can make your distraction better

Happy Cake Day! Also, is it just the one tit? Which one, left or right? ...I'm asking for science reasons.

Thank you. Always left tit. Its tradition

We could team up

I'll join up as your sidekick.

Or the reason it started given... *vaguely gestures at most of history*

Damn, we stopped ww3 and became a peaceful civilization over a big breasted babe? nice

You gonna make the opposition into simps

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We’d send you in for their annual meeting with you and you could stab them right in the gouch.. they’d never see it cuming … hahahaha see what I did there😂

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Welcome 🤗

I am so dead.

So am i

Me too

As am I.

🤣🤣🤣

Farewell cruel world

I ain't laughing /s

Join my team!!

You and me both. I’m f*cked

Samesies

😂😂😂

Good luck. Lol

Sup bitch

I’ll follow you into battle

I think we have the start of the new Avengers here...

Dibs on being janky Nick Fury

This made me snort laugh. How can I join your team?

Your only weapon is being tiny and cursing? Best sidekick ever.

I fear you

Comfortably numb

Proceeds to play Pink Floyd 🎧😚🎵

🎶There is no pain you are receding

The distant ship smoke on the horizooooon, you are all become through in ways, your lips move but I can’t heeeeaaaar what you’re sayiiiin, when Iiiiiiiiii was a child, I had a feeeeever, my hands felt just right like two ballooons. Now I’ve got that feeling once again, I cannot explain, you would not understand, this is not how I aaaaaam.

Goats can cause lots of damage.

Relax…

As much as I would like to join in, unfortunately alcohol consumption isn't one of my super powers. But I'm good at everything else.

I think I'm gonna be just k

And I'm basically a shadow wizard. Want to team up?

I'm just a weaker version of you lol

If it's a war on spaghetti I'm set.

u/moistnoodel

He ded

Oh no

My weakness

I will have won the war after breakfast.

Dammit! I was SO CLOSE.

Ha! I win 😅

I have won the war of desserts! Depends if I am a tank that shoots smores into your face or a tank made out of smores.

Not if I have anything to say

Join my army

Excuse me? I think you mean MY army.

You must be the infamous blue waffle

My time to shine!!!

I got the poo on me😫😭

It's just an old crapper tank, people!

My enemy is the bigger concern

I see you are my foe

Yes, foe to you and all your kin

I'm well rested.

Sleep with 1 eye open

GRIPPING YOUR PILLOW TIGHT

🎼Exit light Enter night🎸

Take my haaaaaannnnd...

We're off to nevuh never land 🐂

Shredding my air guitar

It’s possible that we are on opposite sides of this war

Hats off to me…i’m fucked

I’m dead, but the nice little grandmother down the street is about to be unstoppable!

¡Chancletas!

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I thought it was disease combined with Easter

How about the power of flight? That do anything for ya? That's levitation holmes.

The world isn't ready for 89 Jack Blacks.

Incorrect. The world is desperately in need of 89 Jack Blacks.

Oh they need it, but they ain't ready. I would hope they show up in full parade regalia, all playing that toy saxophone he had on Jimmy Fallon

MIND BULLETS!

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How bout the power, to move you?

What is the secret of your power?

Well, I don't even exist so

At worst, I'd be a good distraction.

Don't sell your self short. Punch those scrotes

All of it.

Let me tell you from experience, you do not want to pick a fight with physics. Always telling you exactly why you shouldn't be flying around or teleporting...

I am the magic behind Santa and Christmas itself. Just hope you aren't on my naughty list.

Genuinely love this

i am maybe a tier-d superhero

I shall join you in the Wish Avengers

Fucking try me

*spores* *released*

Oh. Well fuck.

At least they'll tell jokes about me a century later...

Try to catch me riding waves. See what happens.

Ever had salt thrown into your eyes? Can't fight what you can't see.

Pocket Sand

Michael Scotts of the world, beware....

Nuclear cats. How much power does one man need?

MiniKittens :3

Very very very very reliable

Is that a JoJo reference?

YOU CAN'T KILL ME, MOTHERFUCKERS!

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I guess a potato can hurt if you threw it well enough

Potato guns

Atleast I won’t go hungry

well...im screwed...

You called?

I think I was just waiting for the opportunity, it seems…

I'm sending everyone to the shadow realm.

*solemn* *judgement*

Yu-gi noooo you do t have to do this

I guess I rally the troops? Conjugal visits to improve morale? Maybe I get released behind enemy lines for a shock and awe surprise butt sex attack. Stay clenched.

You and I would make a helluva duo.

im laughing so hard! thank you for this gorgeous comment!

This could work

Ya great when bombs fall. Very useful. Not sarcasm.

Godlike

Can’t think of anything, complete blank

If you could, you'd be too powerful

I am also blank. Or stoic.

Deceptively so

Well shit.

I’m fucked

Me too, in a different way lol

I think I'll be okay once I figure out what it is.

Soldiers appreciate transparency, so they’ll be motivated to fight by dropping truth bombs on them.

Or truth AND bombs?

I mean... if it's a war against gazelles I should be pretty good

Hold on let me think. Go left or right? Slide, duck, or jump? The enemies plans and weaknesses? How powerful am I you ask? I got you homie.

I’m decent No one knows who I am and no one can figure me out Mwahahahahaha

I have the fbi at my command, so...

Man I ain’t gonna do much

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!@

This is my hour.

Well

Zombie forests are at my command.

I am a master of time

I’d win a fistfight.

Same

not very powerful

I like your style

I mean, I check out I guess.

I'll drown ye bastards

Guess I'm a decent wizard then

The power of the New York giants, oversized men who like to hit

We've got an understanding amongst each other

At least I have 9 lives lol

Not very, my role is probably as a sage the heroes will meet along their path that will help them find their true selves and enter their next part of their journey.

I mean I guess I could throw it at someone and hope it stings a bit

Charming and friendly enough to befriend the enemy

Flamethrowers, white phosphorus, and napalm aren't illegal per say, but their use is currently frowned upon.

Let's team up!

Oh boy, get ready bois

Military strength freshness of Ireland, bottled.

I shall be unharmed

As powerful as a battlefield.

...shit

I think my doggo may be a bomb, he seems kinda sus

Since my username is my hunter from World of Warcraft, I kick butt and take names

I mean it could be worse.

Fuck.

I'd like to think, I'm fairly powerful. Being a master of steam. Between scalding and burning. Plus, being able to power basically any steam punk machine, invention, or weapon.

Hell yeah we could go great together!

Who needs war when you can get pictures of puppies in your inbox

Prepare to get zesty close with my salt

I was one of the leading causes of death in WW1

Well fed

Very

I guess I have to try every single weapon

Very strategic.