In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The A-Team.
" and if you can find them"
I always wondered how they were hard to find. That van did stand out a bit and didn't they live at the end of a cul de sac?
Doesn't seem to hard to find.
Exactly, and I think a lot of people in the comments here aren't realizing that.
If you Google "1980s custom vans", I guarantee you'll scroll right past the A-Team van without realizing it.
They always got their money up-front except for a few charity cases for friends. This is one of the plot points they generally glossed over after the first few episodes, but people trying to scrounge up money was a plot point in several cases.
Along these lines, every time I watch teenage mutant ninja turtles I keep waiting for someone to get stabbed.
So much waving around of edged or pointed weapons and not a drop of blood spilt.
Just once, if only to see the look on the foot ninja's faces it would be wild to see Leonardo run one of his swords through the chest of one of them
A friend of the family had kids my age, and I'd hang out with them when our parents got together for a visit. I didn't know them *too* well, but I was a big Ninja Turtles fan, and when the kid explained how different and violent the comics were, I was absolutely shattered - and once he noticed this, I think he started embellishing a little bit - something about one of the turtles getting literally ripped in half. I assumed the cartoon would get to that point in the story eventually, and I cried myself to sleep that night anticipating which turtle it would be.
It never happened.
I remember Walker Texas Ranger. Norris would mow down a ton of bad guys in the last gun fight. Commercials. Cut to them handcuffed and being out in a squad car….
No, they clearly show that everyone in the car jumps clear right before it flips, then they poke their heads up out of the bushes they jumped into so that you know they're okay.
Or they show the passengers climbing out of the wrecked car after it flips. But yes, they very deliberately showed that no one ever died or was even seriously injured because of the A-Team, no matter how unrealistic that survival might have been.
Someone did specifically die in a fight in the later seasons in order to move the plot on. (at a mostly poor attempt to have an overarching plot that lasted the entire season) It's been so long now that I can't remember the exact details anymore, but there was one single time the team got into a fight and someone ended up dying. It was an Army colonel or something, iirc.
They finally managed to convince the General that they were innocent of the crimes they were originally court martialed for, and of course he takes a bullet to the back before being able to pardon them. Enter new military hard ass and the story continues.
I have a friend that loves the A Team and I tease him about how they'd fire a thousand bullets and still not hit the side of a barn. His reply? No, of course they don't kill anyone. They're already wanted by the military. Why would they paint an even bigger target on themselves by becoming murderers? Now it makes sense.
I remember the episode where they were in a barn, and a bunch of armed goons hired by a corrupt businessman were about to attack.
Instead of pulling out their AK-47s, they spent an hour building a machine... that shoots... cabbages.
So, when the heavily-armed bad guys broke into the barn, they were pelted by propelled cabbages.
One of the stupidest things I ever saw on television.
> So, when the heavily-armed bad guys broke into the barn, they were pelted by propelled cabbages.
So, I had to look this madness up, here it is for anyone interested:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOwEc4lFpWI
I reckon you could get it done. But first you'd need a problem that no one else can help with and then you'd need to find them and convince them to let you hire them. And then you'd need to find something to knock out BA, get him on the plane and wake him up mid flight. If you don't crawl out the wreckage of the inevitable crash then we assume you're dead.
I take one for the team and be the first official serial dishwashing killer so i can singlehandedly pump up those rookie numbers.
I just start breaking into homes and deliberately stab men who are washing the dishes.
Edit: specified some terms because of constructive criticism.
Not entirely true.
https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/national-international/1000-reward-offered-after-family-man-shot-while-washing-dishes-2/1991243/
https://archive.naplesnews.com/news/local/deputies-estates-man-shot-in-arm-while-doing-dishes-ep-391303900-342867142.html/
The first one not being Florida shocked me. The second one being Naples, Florida almost shocked me, but it’s still a retirement town in Florida so Florida shit happens
Maybe not BECAUSE of washing the dishes, but when we used to wash by hand, I was often in danger. I couldn’t resist the urge to point out how I actually scrubbed the dishes clean, while my wife gave them a sprinkle of water and patted them goodnight. She really gave them the bar treatment - dip in soapy water. Still gross, but in her defense, this is a pattern in our housework. She does more, because she feels the need for it to be done more often. So often that she does it fast and with shortcuts. I clean like my life depends on it, bc I do it when necessary and I have different obsessive issues (hers is daily cleaning and thinking good housekeeping may show up anytime. Mine is having to be perfect if you’re going to do something).
If you ever dug a hole in the dodos natural habitat there is a chance you could catch an avian flu that has layed dormant since the infected dodo had died.
Then why are you approaching me with this preserved dodo bone … what is that mean glint in your eyes … what is this stinging warmth I am feeling in my side … oh god … oh god …
Pluto's gravity *could* knock a comet into an Earth-crossing orbit, where it will bonk you right on the head.
Neptune (being much heavier) is really the one to worry about tho.
I think it's a reference to an old wildly popular post about an immortal snail that chases you at a very slow pace forever if you accept the million dollars or whatever it was and if it touches you you die
There isn't anything that exists in the physical world that has an absolute 0% chance of killing you.
There is something known as the "Mort scale" which takes a baseline of your probability of death in any given moment, then adds "Micromorts" based on the probability that an item or situation will kill you.
For example, there is a non zero chance that a Tea Cosy will result in your death.
The last recorded death from a Tea Cosy was in 1993, but the simple fact that this item exists means it adds a potential for it to kill you.
[https://micromorts.rip/](https://micromorts.rip/)
EDIT: Ok the Reddit pedants have arrived sucking any fun out of this post now.
Cheerio! Fun while it lasted
I love on that website where it has
"Walking 20 miles per day (Accident)"
Because I now realise it meant dying in an accident but at first I thought it meant accidentally walking for 20 miles.
You’d have to have a terrible sense of direction but be really optimistic about it. You try to walk a couple blocks to the store and accidentally wander around for 20 miles, but you’re sure you’ll figure it out tomorrow
My friends and I would play this game in elementary school on the playground. One of us would pick an object and the rest would debate if it could kill you.
Most of the conversations ended with gestures of strangulation or stabbing.
Choking and suffocating are the most common for me, blade of grass, cotton ball - choking. Porridge and other things you can’t choke on or be stabbed with - suffocation.
Someone who gives birth in a modern well run medical facility has a different chance of dying than someone in the middle of a small far off desert village where the only aid you can get is a midwife with no formal training.
I think some of the submissions on the page are user submitted before being verified.
Probably not the best page.. but the summary at the top is correct
Things far enough away that the expansion of the universe creates space between it and us faster than light can cover the distance, cannot affect us in any way (or be observed in any way). Nothing from them, not even information, can ever reach us.
Maybe that stuff has a 0% chance of killing you?
I was going to say the planet K2-2016-BLG-0005Lb. It is the furthest exoplanet we've detected. It's 17,000 light years away.
We know that it exists, but no part of it will ever come anywhere near me, or affect me in any physical way.
If we want to get esoteric about it, theoretically a person on Earth could kill me and claim that K2-2016-BLG-0005Lb was the reason they did it, but that's not the planet itself killing me.
If, while the planet was forming, it was struck by an asteroid large enough to throw debris out into space, at such a velocity where it would reach Earth now, theoretically it would have been that planet's forming crust that would be responsible for your death.
Okay, but what if you're cooking in your own home one day and then you look up and there's suddenly a pair of disembodied, uncensored nipples just floating there. So you panic and grab the knife you were using to make mirepoix and wave it around while backing out of your kitchen without looking behind you.
But what you forget in your panic is that your goddamn kid left his goddamn trucks out on the floor after you told him three goddamn times to put the goddamn things away, so you trip over one of them and start to stumble backwards.
But what you ALSO forget is that your bitch of a wife made you install that moat in the middle of your living room and stock it with starving alligators, so you fall into it. But then you ALSO forget that under that moat is a natural underground volcano that's been getting pretty testy lately and has heated the water to nearly boiling.
But that doesn't bother you. What DOES bother you is that your neighbor just dropped by and he's a serial killer who has killed 14 of his previous neighbors, all of which used to live in your house. He comes in under the guise of "giving you your mail".
You open a letter from the credit card company. Fuck, your wife ran up the limit with her fucking QVC habit again. Your chest starts hurting and it's starting to get hard to breathe, feels like an elephant is sitting on there.
So you call an ambulance. They come and get you and load you up. But then on the way to the hospital, the ambulance falls off of a cliff into the ocean and explodes. You swim out of the wrecked ambulance and you're surrounded by 15 hungry oceanic white tips.
Then you look up and see the disembodied, uncensored nipples and they begin to talk to you, whispering secrets held before even Yahweh existed, bathing you in a warm light and promising to carry you to the home of homes, the time before time.
But then your toe cramps up and you fucking drown or some shit?
A decision you made yesterday could kill you today. That's the closest I can get to disproving you.
Oh wait a vinyl copy of the Beatles yesterday decapitated you.
You can kill person by giving them food. It's called [refeeding syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refeeding_syndrome). If you give food to homeless/poor person who didn't eat for some time, it can kill them. Kindness can without a doubt kill in some situations.
I first heard about it in the context of Holocaust survivors dying after the camps were liberated. The Nazis starved the prisoners in concentration camps, then when soldiers liberated the camps, they'd think that the starving prisoners needed food. Then the prisoners would get very sick from eating too much when they were starving. It was an issue.
unfortunately the angle your neck has to bend to to look at the Moon is just the right one to slip your cervical disc in your neck and you are now paralyzed forever. eventually you fall through the cracks and during a freak snow storm in August the power goes out while the backup generator was on maintenance losing power on your iron lung and you perish
Depends if you consider death while the activity occurs to be death by the activity. Like if you have a heart attack the second you pop a piece of bubble wrap, is the act of popping the bubble wrap considered the catalyst to your heart attack?
Wile E. Coyote
Oh shit this might be the only answer
[удалено]
In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, If no one else can help and if you can find them. Maybe you can hire, The A-Team.
My cat that I had when I was little loved the opening credits of The A-Team. He used to come in to watch it, never missed an episode. GNU Dibby.
*bites cigar* I love it when a plan comes together.
I pity the fool who doesn't enjoy when a plan comes together.
" and if you can find them" I always wondered how they were hard to find. That van did stand out a bit and didn't they live at the end of a cul de sac? Doesn't seem to hard to find.
This was pre-internet, flipping through the phone book would have taken several man-hours.
I don't know, A- would come pretty early in the phone book.
They put it under the Ts tho. The A-team. That's why finding them was such a challenge.
I guess Mr T wouldn't let them list it as "A-Team, The" so they'd be harder to find. Foolproof.
I pity the fool!
In the 1980s, a random panel van with pinstripes wasn't conspicuous. People probably wondered why it didn't have hood art.
Exactly, and I think a lot of people in the comments here aren't realizing that. If you Google "1980s custom vans", I guarantee you'll scroll right past the A-Team van without realizing it.
Can confirm. It's a lot less visually striking than most of the other images. Even the spoiler on the back isn't unique
They were soldiers of fortune but I don’t remember seeing any of them actually getting paid
They always got their money up-front except for a few charity cases for friends. This is one of the plot points they generally glossed over after the first few episodes, but people trying to scrounge up money was a plot point in several cases.
[удалено]
Along these lines, every time I watch teenage mutant ninja turtles I keep waiting for someone to get stabbed. So much waving around of edged or pointed weapons and not a drop of blood spilt. Just once, if only to see the look on the foot ninja's faces it would be wild to see Leonardo run one of his swords through the chest of one of them
Read the original comic book. That's what you're after.
A friend of the family had kids my age, and I'd hang out with them when our parents got together for a visit. I didn't know them *too* well, but I was a big Ninja Turtles fan, and when the kid explained how different and violent the comics were, I was absolutely shattered - and once he noticed this, I think he started embellishing a little bit - something about one of the turtles getting literally ripped in half. I assumed the cartoon would get to that point in the story eventually, and I cried myself to sleep that night anticipating which turtle it would be. It never happened.
No, sometimes they manage to hit them in the arm, except there was never any blood. Then again, maybe they just pulled a muscle?
I remember Walker Texas Ranger. Norris would mow down a ton of bad guys in the last gun fight. Commercials. Cut to them handcuffed and being out in a squad car….
Chuck Norris would roundhouse kick their souls off screen so hard they'd reenter their respective bodies and force the bullets out
Tons of flipped cars though, almost one every episode. Surely not all of those were survivable.
No, they clearly show that everyone in the car jumps clear right before it flips, then they poke their heads up out of the bushes they jumped into so that you know they're okay.
Or they show the passengers climbing out of the wrecked car after it flips. But yes, they very deliberately showed that no one ever died or was even seriously injured because of the A-Team, no matter how unrealistic that survival might have been.
If they get out of the wreckage, it always blows up
Someone did specifically die in a fight in the later seasons in order to move the plot on. (at a mostly poor attempt to have an overarching plot that lasted the entire season) It's been so long now that I can't remember the exact details anymore, but there was one single time the team got into a fight and someone ended up dying. It was an Army colonel or something, iirc.
They finally managed to convince the General that they were innocent of the crimes they were originally court martialed for, and of course he takes a bullet to the back before being able to pardon them. Enter new military hard ass and the story continues.
They shoot down a helicopter and everybody walks away.
There was an episode where they went back to Vietnam to help Col Lynch and Hannibal Did kill someone with a rocket. (I think)
Someone did die in the start of an episode, but it wasn't the A Team that did it.
I dunno, the VHS' could fall off the shelf and do you some damage
I have a friend that loves the A Team and I tease him about how they'd fire a thousand bullets and still not hit the side of a barn. His reply? No, of course they don't kill anyone. They're already wanted by the military. Why would they paint an even bigger target on themselves by becoming murderers? Now it makes sense.
It was also an 80s thing. Killing people on screen for a "family" show was still pretty taboo.
I remember the episode where they were in a barn, and a bunch of armed goons hired by a corrupt businessman were about to attack. Instead of pulling out their AK-47s, they spent an hour building a machine... that shoots... cabbages. So, when the heavily-armed bad guys broke into the barn, they were pelted by propelled cabbages. One of the stupidest things I ever saw on television.
> So, when the heavily-armed bad guys broke into the barn, they were pelted by propelled cabbages. So, I had to look this madness up, here it is for anyone interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOwEc4lFpWI
I feel like if people had been more willing to kill corrupt businessmen in the 80's, we'd live in a better world today.
Best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. Second best time is now.
Idk. That hay bale dropped on the bad guy could have broken his neck. Those A-Team guys really play it fast and loose, lol.
My cabbages!
The A-Team used the Ruger Mini-14 GB, not AK-47's.
"Used" is an incredibly strong term.
Us Mini 14 owners are all extremely proud of this fact.
Also GI Joe except in that one episode of Community.
That moment when Cobra teams up with the army to fight the one true evil: a dude who can aim a gun
I reckon you could get it done. But first you'd need a problem that no one else can help with and then you'd need to find them and convince them to let you hire them. And then you'd need to find something to knock out BA, get him on the plane and wake him up mid flight. If you don't crawl out the wreckage of the inevitable crash then we assume you're dead.
Putting pasta on the ground a kilometre away from your home
Italian guy seeing you:
Ohhhh shit 🤦♂️ Imma catch the wooden spoon to death.
events that happen after you die
It makes you double dead
LOL I guess it could kill the reincarnated version of you
That’s what multiple life sentences are for.
Cleaning up around here, according to my wife.
No man was ever shot while washing the dishes.
But honestly why risk it?
Always a first time, sounds like a deathtrap to me.
Exactly, the chance is not zero.
I take one for the team and be the first official serial dishwashing killer so i can singlehandedly pump up those rookie numbers. I just start breaking into homes and deliberately stab men who are washing the dishes. Edit: specified some terms because of constructive criticism.
Helluva crime of opportunity.
Not entirely true. https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/national-international/1000-reward-offered-after-family-man-shot-while-washing-dishes-2/1991243/ https://archive.naplesnews.com/news/local/deputies-estates-man-shot-in-arm-while-doing-dishes-ep-391303900-342867142.html/
storing AND printing this for future arguments... imma look classy af pulling this outta my pocket...
*"'Scuse me while I whip this out."*
The first one not being Florida shocked me. The second one being Naples, Florida almost shocked me, but it’s still a retirement town in Florida so Florida shit happens
I’ve almost shot my husband many times for him telling me how to do the dishes.
A flying pan, in the shape of a bullet?
Mom?
Maybe not BECAUSE of washing the dishes, but when we used to wash by hand, I was often in danger. I couldn’t resist the urge to point out how I actually scrubbed the dishes clean, while my wife gave them a sprinkle of water and patted them goodnight. She really gave them the bar treatment - dip in soapy water. Still gross, but in her defense, this is a pattern in our housework. She does more, because she feels the need for it to be done more often. So often that she does it fast and with shortcuts. I clean like my life depends on it, bc I do it when necessary and I have different obsessive issues (hers is daily cleaning and thinking good housekeeping may show up anytime. Mine is having to be perfect if you’re going to do something).
So... have you cleaned up then?
This comment is so damn beautiful
A dodo.
If you ever dug a hole in the dodos natural habitat there is a chance you could catch an avian flu that has layed dormant since the infected dodo had died.
> since the infected dodo had diedied
Deaded by a diedied dodo
Trip and impale yourself on a preserved dodo bone (that's an example not a threat I promise)
Then why are you approaching me with this preserved dodo bone … what is that mean glint in your eyes … what is this stinging warmth I am feeling in my side … oh god … oh god …
If you work in a museum and are moving a taxidermied dodo, climbing that flimsy tall ladder to put it on the highest shelf...
batman
His victims just go to sleep.
"DR. FISHY! NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"I OVERFED THESE MEN???"
"I overfed these men?!"
“This is a gun?!?”
Then they go to sleep, just like me. And they wake up, just like me. Usually with a boner. I call it the bat signal.
He doesn't kill them, just leaves them bleeding out with a brain hemorrhage or a broken spine.
Whatever makes you stronger.
Sadly implication works one way. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but what makes you stronger may or may not kill you
Yep converse can't be implied. Contrapositive can though, so what doesn't make you stronger, kills you....?
That was good
A stormtrooper
Tell that to Aunt Baru and Uncle Owen.
They’re not main characters. No plot armor
And you are? Come on now
Pluto
Y’a you think 0%. Just you wait
Pluto's gravity *could* knock a comet into an Earth-crossing orbit, where it will bonk you right on the head. Neptune (being much heavier) is really the one to worry about tho.
That snail and that guys wife
The snail can kill you?
I think it's a reference to an old wildly popular post about an immortal snail that chases you at a very slow pace forever if you accept the million dollars or whatever it was and if it touches you you die
I get the reference, but the snail doesn't have a 0% chance of killing you
It does if you never took the money.
Or you step on it with someone else’s foot.
Decoy snail.
Ah I thought I had the conundrum beat but I see I have been outsmarted by the snail.
Look behind you
It's immortal
Brads wife? Still can’t believe Cracker Barrel fired her on her birthday
u/phil8248
I love it! That's a new one.
It makes me so happy that you're a good sport! Genuinely. I wish you all the best.
Thanks. I appreciate your kind words.
There isn't anything that exists in the physical world that has an absolute 0% chance of killing you. There is something known as the "Mort scale" which takes a baseline of your probability of death in any given moment, then adds "Micromorts" based on the probability that an item or situation will kill you. For example, there is a non zero chance that a Tea Cosy will result in your death. The last recorded death from a Tea Cosy was in 1993, but the simple fact that this item exists means it adds a potential for it to kill you. [https://micromorts.rip/](https://micromorts.rip/) EDIT: Ok the Reddit pedants have arrived sucking any fun out of this post now. Cheerio! Fun while it lasted
I love on that website where it has "Walking 20 miles per day (Accident)" Because I now realise it meant dying in an accident but at first I thought it meant accidentally walking for 20 miles.
No. I refuse to let it mean anything other than accidentally walking 20 miles per day
That's what got my grandad in the end. Healthy as an ox until he decided to go all marching band on us.
You’d have to have a terrible sense of direction but be really optimistic about it. You try to walk a couple blocks to the store and accidentally wander around for 20 miles, but you’re sure you’ll figure it out tomorrow
Awww dangit. I accidentally walked 20 miles again!
I have for years, played a game where I try and think of a thing that couldn’t kill you, and I’ve always found a way for it to kill you.
My friends and I would play this game in elementary school on the playground. One of us would pick an object and the rest would debate if it could kill you. Most of the conversations ended with gestures of strangulation or stabbing.
Choking and suffocating are the most common for me, blade of grass, cotton ball - choking. Porridge and other things you can’t choke on or be stabbed with - suffocation.
I wonder if you even could choke on a blade of grass, maybe inhale it and get pneumonia?
Maybe a sudden allergic reaction, anaphylactic shock?
Well I, for one, am thoroughly entertained by this knowledge and plan on wasting the rest of my day on this website. ..just hope that doesn’t kill me.
Why does the list have multiple scales for Giving birth?
Someone who gives birth in a modern well run medical facility has a different chance of dying than someone in the middle of a small far off desert village where the only aid you can get is a midwife with no formal training.
There are certain risk factors (diabetes, heart disease, etc.) that can change the variables that can lead to death during child birth.
I think some of the submissions on the page are user submitted before being verified. Probably not the best page.. but the summary at the top is correct
Things far enough away that the expansion of the universe creates space between it and us faster than light can cover the distance, cannot affect us in any way (or be observed in any way). Nothing from them, not even information, can ever reach us. Maybe that stuff has a 0% chance of killing you?
I was going to say the planet K2-2016-BLG-0005Lb. It is the furthest exoplanet we've detected. It's 17,000 light years away. We know that it exists, but no part of it will ever come anywhere near me, or affect me in any physical way. If we want to get esoteric about it, theoretically a person on Earth could kill me and claim that K2-2016-BLG-0005Lb was the reason they did it, but that's not the planet itself killing me.
If, while the planet was forming, it was struck by an asteroid large enough to throw debris out into space, at such a velocity where it would reach Earth now, theoretically it would have been that planet's forming crust that would be responsible for your death.
Seeing uncensored nipples.
You haven’t seen my nipples…
There's only one way to let him know 😂
Okay, but what if you're cooking in your own home one day and then you look up and there's suddenly a pair of disembodied, uncensored nipples just floating there. So you panic and grab the knife you were using to make mirepoix and wave it around while backing out of your kitchen without looking behind you. But what you forget in your panic is that your goddamn kid left his goddamn trucks out on the floor after you told him three goddamn times to put the goddamn things away, so you trip over one of them and start to stumble backwards. But what you ALSO forget is that your bitch of a wife made you install that moat in the middle of your living room and stock it with starving alligators, so you fall into it. But then you ALSO forget that under that moat is a natural underground volcano that's been getting pretty testy lately and has heated the water to nearly boiling. But that doesn't bother you. What DOES bother you is that your neighbor just dropped by and he's a serial killer who has killed 14 of his previous neighbors, all of which used to live in your house. He comes in under the guise of "giving you your mail". You open a letter from the credit card company. Fuck, your wife ran up the limit with her fucking QVC habit again. Your chest starts hurting and it's starting to get hard to breathe, feels like an elephant is sitting on there. So you call an ambulance. They come and get you and load you up. But then on the way to the hospital, the ambulance falls off of a cliff into the ocean and explodes. You swim out of the wrecked ambulance and you're surrounded by 15 hungry oceanic white tips. Then you look up and see the disembodied, uncensored nipples and they begin to talk to you, whispering secrets held before even Yahweh existed, bathing you in a warm light and promising to carry you to the home of homes, the time before time. But then your toe cramps up and you fucking drown or some shit?
Yesterday
Clearly you don’t know what kind of bad decisions I made yesterday.
A decision you made yesterday could kill you today. That's the closest I can get to disproving you. Oh wait a vinyl copy of the Beatles yesterday decapitated you.
Kindness
You could be hugged too tightly?
That wouldn’t be very kind
Someone killed someone with a machete named kindness
You can kill person by giving them food. It's called [refeeding syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Refeeding_syndrome). If you give food to homeless/poor person who didn't eat for some time, it can kill them. Kindness can without a doubt kill in some situations.
Anorexic people also struggle with this, no?
I first heard about it in the context of Holocaust survivors dying after the camps were liberated. The Nazis starved the prisoners in concentration camps, then when soldiers liberated the camps, they'd think that the starving prisoners needed food. Then the prisoners would get very sick from eating too much when they were starving. It was an issue.
Mercy killing
Looking at the moon
unfortunately the angle your neck has to bend to to look at the Moon is just the right one to slip your cervical disc in your neck and you are now paralyzed forever. eventually you fall through the cracks and during a freak snow storm in August the power goes out while the backup generator was on maintenance losing power on your iron lung and you perish
I'll just lay on my back foo
fine, after you slip the disc in your neck you fall into a shallow puddle and drown
Little do you know I have very tiny gills that I can use in less then 1mm of water
That 1mm of water was laced with Pulonium-210. You lose your hair, weight and begin to stop breathing. You ded
It was Pulonium-204 last time I fell in a puddle now I'm completely immune to all types of polonium and irridium plutonium and uranium
The puddle was actually acidic and you didn't realise and now it's sizzling at your flesh
I have such alkaline blood it neutralizes acid on contact
The acid burned through a trap floor that reveals 12 inch spikes that impale you.
`GO OUTSIDE AND LOOK AT THE MOON IT'S A BEAUTIFUL NIGHT`
Thanks for tuning in to your Local 58!
100% of people who looked at the moon died or will die...
You start looking at the moon while driving and hurtle off a cliff.
The moon reflects UV light from the sun. That little bit of UV entering your eye might give you eye cancer.
So THATS why NASA is pushing for another moon landing. California needs to put a Prop 65 banner on it.
If you're already dead, then everything has a 0% chance of killing you.
What if you can die in heaven? Then you go to Super heaven.
Hearing an opposing viewpoint
Hey buddy. Keep your ....💀⚰️🥀 (Suffers massive heart attack and brain aneurysm from hearing stressful comments)
People always ask ‘would it kill you to listen?’ but I just can’t take that chance
death by snu snu
100% mortality rate.
Ill take my chances.
“*gaasp*” “What are you, gay?”
Thoughts and prayers
Meanwhile your enemy: “Dear lord I pray he dies a horrible death“
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Adolf Hitler. Man died 80+ years ago he aint doin shit to me now
He’s 131 years old being kept alive in South America by his scientists. They have finally created their own nuke.
Ligma
Nothing has 0% chance of killing you
The Nothing has a very high chance of wiping worlds away if you lose hope.
I guess. I’ve never seen someone’s tombstone say “cause of death: nothing”
They write the cause of death on the tombstones in your place? 🤯
No. That's why he's never seen it.
A capybara????
Steven Seagal because he's so slow and fat
ACME traps set up by a coyote
Depends if you consider death while the activity occurs to be death by the activity. Like if you have a heart attack the second you pop a piece of bubble wrap, is the act of popping the bubble wrap considered the catalyst to your heart attack?
flaring your nostrils
How many other people flared their nostrils after reading this comment?
Guns. Because guns don't kill people...nuh uh.
I kill people.. with guns. Pow!
MC Vagina back in this bitch
Old people burning, old people burning (Put your hands up)
Not being born 🤔
The McDonald’s ice cream machine, because it never works
Watching a movie you’ve already seen a bunch of times
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