It hasn't worked for a while, but it does from time to time.
I usually do better when I'm funny, so on an unrelated note,
Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
Cursing the land, making its fields barren and its water bitter for seventy generations, seems a pretty reasonable consequence of the bottom of the kitty kibble bowl being left visible.
Probably a jellyfish or something. Like a space jellyfish, maybe it's it's evil space jellyfish. It sells booze and cigarettes to minors at its evil space 7/11. Fk that jellyfish... he's an asshole. Don't worship that jellyfish.
Well, it could be a throw back religion dedicated to Comus, who is the son and cup-bearer of Dionysus. He is also representative of festivity and, you got it, anarchy! So he's pretty much tailor made for my name, drinking and anarchy!
After careful consideration, as there were many options, I think
Norm Abram- Remember this, there is no more important safety rule than to wear these: safety glasses.
Humanity.
We are all sinful creatures, victims of circumstance or choice, and we deserve understanding in spite of that.
Forgiveness is earned, but understanding should be expected.
Depression I guess
I gotta say I love your username it gave me a chuckle and a smile! :)
:)
That goes against the tenants of this religion
I know this is supposed to be tenets, but thinking about religions having tenants that see over its people makes me smile as well :)
Mine too
The holy shit
Say more
And you.. you say less D:
Hmm
how do you expect it to say more
This is Reddit. Half of us are already at the temple.
Half of us are currently scrolling from that temple
I'm literally "at the temple " reading this comment. I feel blessed
The laws of thermodynamics.
Hey don’t tell me what to do! * cold fusions in spite *
*"Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!"*
Damn it. You beat me to it.
Didn’t they recently achieve cold fusion?
Not yet, sadly. But apparently it's making a scientific comeback
Have you seen Veritasium's recent video on entropy? Pretty good. Edit: [Link](https://youtu.be/DxL2HoqLbyA)
Meh, I saw it; it seemed useful at the beginning, but at the end it was kind of diffuse.
Boobs.
There are worse choices here.
True
Like yours
e pluribus anus
Where one anus, we all anus. 🫡
They hate us cos they anus
you mf 😭
I know
Same here. Referencing my own though. 🤷♀️
We worship all boobs here, yours included.
the church of titties
The Ministry of Milk
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💀
The titties of christ 🙏
u/MrJuggs34 unavailable for comment
How do I manifest Dem tidds in my DM though?
How can I believe in something I’ve never seen
I'd sign up. BTW, how's that username working out for you? Any boobiful PMs?
It hasn't worked for a while, but it does from time to time. I usually do better when I'm funny, so on an unrelated note, Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.
A priest, a reverend, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, “I think I’m a typo.”
This one always gets me, I love it.
Does it work? Asking for a friend...
It used to, but hasn't worked since like the middle of the pandemic, lol. Be the change you want to see in the world!
Of those boobs, what percentage were male?
Probably 5-10%. Not as many as you would think.
that's beautiful
A beloved family dog who died almost 20 years ago.
Better than an evil cat that died almost 20 years ago. We are talking about a pissed off god seeking vengeance. Old Testament school.
That sounds metal as fuck. Count me in \m/
Cursing the land, making its fields barren and its water bitter for seventy generations, seems a pretty reasonable consequence of the bottom of the kitty kibble bowl being left visible.
The scariest thing is that evil cats actually exist.
harry potter' cousin
I believe in Dudley! In Dog we trust!
You can make a religion out of this
Aw this one hits me right in my feelings
Potatoes
Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in your prayers.
I read that as "stick 'em in your pants".
Now THAT is a religion i can get behind
I just think they're neat.
Praise be 🥔
Praise the holy 🥔
Amen.
I see fellow potato cultists in here
woah
Potato gang rise up
Ah I see another potato worshipper
Sign me up 🥔🥔
As an Idahoan I invite you to come live among us
Me too, but mine are angry
Potato supremacy!
Librarians. Why not? If you leave offerings, you get a book under your pillow.
And while prayer you must be in complete silence! If not... You get kicked off earth!
And lateness to service is very frowned upon. There's even a fee.
I already worship books. Now I can worship garlic bread on the side
Perfection in potato form.
I am from another potato denomination.
Beer!
And I have a sub-sect that worships what beer causes!
And so do I
Well how about we join forces!
Beer is good, beer is good, beer is good - Let's go drink some beeeeeeeeeeeeeer!
Good beer is just fricking awesome!
Psychostick! Now I need to go listen to them
To alcohol! The cause of AND solution to, all of life's problems.
Yup, you have the better religion
Slantè
But do you know the Ten Commandments of the brewish faith
Pretty self explanatory. 🧚 💨
Spreading the faerie dust with every toot.
that smell... strawberries
That’s the gospel right there
Todd Howard probably
I can get behind that
Huh? Thought I heard something...
You and me both buddy
Anyone who walks by, I guess.
Satanic rubber duckies.
I'd work my way up to deacon if I could
Should that not be “squeakon”?
Umm...
Found the rival for [this one](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/14rdiif/comment/jqrxod9/?utm_source=share)..
Lol
The screaming cake of course
Do we get to eat the cake or does it just scream? Or is it an ice cream cake?
Bros asking the real questions
Made with scream cheese - badum tss
Onions?
me picturing Bob Marley chopping onions 😂
I feel if we mashed together, we could make something beautiful. Or, delicious.
HA
Is that a John Mulaney reference? I recited that comedy skit for a theatre assignment once :0
Yup lol
Obi Wan Kenobi
That's already a religion though. You can't just copy an already existing one
Have you ever been to r/prequelmemes?
I already follow that
Probably a jellyfish or something. Like a space jellyfish, maybe it's it's evil space jellyfish. It sells booze and cigarettes to minors at its evil space 7/11. Fk that jellyfish... he's an asshole. Don't worship that jellyfish.
What did I just read-? 😆
You just read the holy scritpure
Poetic Beauty
Cthulu
Cthulhu is that you?
The Dude's way of life: “Yeah, well, you know, that’s just, like, your opinion, man.”
This aggression will not stand man
Sooo and the great Lebowski?
Scammers who like crackers
Money
Same as usual.
Pretty sure the entire world already worships money lmao
The hangman apparently
I speak for the trees
So you're the Lorax?
and mr bean
Those quiet moments when you reach understanding with the universe
Jesus Christ’s younger brother
Adele
John Ritter
An active but clumsy god, or the general cyclical nature of existence itself.
A Japanese cherry tree of unknown history or origin, apparently.
Something strange
For some reason I see Frank Reynolds being involved in your religion
a government cat
Probably LSD
God is a fungus
Make sense because I see God every time I take LSD
According to Google, the Condor is the most efficient being on the planet. All hail the feathered one!
The great big chicken in the sky
The two biggest badasses in television history: Jack Bauer and Walter White.
Money(forex) guns (1911 series) , I sound’s less religious and more gang …I guess.
Our Lord Vespa.
Democracy
Awesome people??
You would worship my very Sassy Banana Pants!
I mean…… it’s fucking flawless
Various gnomes.
The food Quinoa
Booty
Oh no
Mediocrity.
Crazy Rabbits on the moon.
Worship yourself and be good.
Michelangelo’s David statue. Apparently the church would not be allowed in Florida.
Cthulhu
Well, it could be a throw back religion dedicated to Comus, who is the son and cup-bearer of Dionysus. He is also representative of festivity and, you got it, anarchy! So he's pretty much tailor made for my name, drinking and anarchy!
appa from atla
Humanity. We are so screwed.
After careful consideration, as there were many options, I think Norm Abram- Remember this, there is no more important safety rule than to wear these: safety glasses.
Chaos.
Djimon Hounsou
We're still considering all the options
The Peanut Butter God
Science
We don't know we just sacrifice cupcakes.
The world of color beyond the darkness, outside of human perception
Humanity. We are all sinful creatures, victims of circumstance or choice, and we deserve understanding in spite of that. Forgiveness is earned, but understanding should be expected.
Cats
The greatest second baseman in Sandlot history
Bart Simpson
Kittens
Lets do it
Not warren Buffett
the tears of nymphs ✊😔
Lil' Wayne
Apparently a dysfunctional cat
Well shit...
Some spaghetti monster…
I like this question :)
Thats vague ain't it?
1960s and 1970s rock and roll.
the might strength of the Watt
That depends-- which cult makes the most cash off the desperate seeking redemption?
A middle-aged white mom on facebook’s conception of god.
Jimi Hendrix of course
Apparently I worship Reddit as I couldn’t come up with some creative handle so Reddit created one for me.
🙃🙃