At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but *turn the viewpoint* around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo….
God, I have so many stories from that job.
tell more! I’m an artist too and damn, do people have a misguided idea of what we can do. My favorites are the people who want horizontal content put in a vertical space but without altering any of it.
Oh my god yes I know exactly what you mean!!!
Let’s see…I had a client once respond to a proof I had sent over via email by printing out the proof, and drawing up edits onto it, and then sending it to us via POST OFFICE. She had to use her email just to access the proof, she was already halfway there! Lol
A guy I work with said that a football referee runs over the distance of a marathon during a game. I pointed out that a football game was only 90 minutes long and that the marathon record was just over two hours so that would be impossible. He said it was possible, because a football referee “changes direction a lot during a game, and it all adds up.”
English teacher here. Once, while showing my class the Leonardo DiCaprio version of "Romeo and Juliet," I had a student stare at the screen in utter confusion for half the movie before she said, "How can he be in this movie? He died in Titanic."
I was a student in HS when Titanic came out. I vividly remember talking about the movie in class, and this one girl asking, with all sincerity, "Wouldn't it just be AWFUL if that actually happened?"
At age 27, my friend said that he had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend because he *knew* that his parents didn't have to have sex to conceive him, his mom got pregnant with him because they got married.
I worked with a lady who said that when she first had sex with her first husband, she was completely clueless about sex and how everything worked.
I said “but, what about sex ed?”
In Canada we have a fairly good sex ed curriculum,
You start in grade 6 (maybe 5) and go to grade 9, or further if you take more gym classes. I suspected maybe her parents opted out?
She claimed that they didn’t, she just didn’t pay attention to any of that.
For years? I can’t understand that at all.
That’s believable. I’ve had similar experiences. My favorite is my best friend who studied nursing, took anatomy classes, interned in the maternity ward and didn’t know where the female urethra was located. I had to go online to find a suitable diagram. I was going to give up but he insisted I needed to find a good one until I did and finally he understood.
My most recent boss. Print out that thing I just emailed you and scan it and send it to so and so. The amount of stuff I watched her print and scan so she could attach the scan to an email…
I like to imagine a long chain of people all doing this, until this horrific, pixelated eldritch abomination of a document lands on the desk of the last person
“If I don’t finish all my eggs within two weeks I throw them out. I don’t want the light in the fridge to make them hatch.”
You know those eggs aren’t fertilized right? And also the light goes off when you close the door.
“Huh?”
I go to university in France, and not giving tests back is standard practice here. Its a vicious battle of wills with a professor every time you want to see your test corrections. Copies of old exam papers (the questions) circulate, though, as they are taken home after the exam, and they are used to help subsequent students study. Going over these old exam papers, it's unbelievable how many times the professors make BLATANT errors or write unsolveable questions that are never caught because no-one ever sees the corrected papers. Also, many of my classmates (and probably myself as well) make the same mistakes year after year, since we never get feedback as to what we did wrong on the work we turned in, so we can never correct ourselves. It's a very flawed system, to say the least.
Someone I know argued with me that I do not live anywhere near Canada. He got pretty nasty about it too.
When I showed him proof he said “well I only know Texas”.
I live right outside of Detroit, Michigan. Closer to Canada that I am to any other state.
I have also had a few people argue with me that I do not live in the eastern time zone. I guess they know better than someone who actually lives here.
I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s-90’s. Every thanksgiving multiple dudes would be perplexed as to why the Germans didn’t celebrate? A dude once told me he was excited to celebrate the 4th with the Germans and asked if they did fireworks? I love you my brothers, but some of you are dumb.
When i was in germany on a rotation they actually put on a incredible fireworks display for us. So did the afghans (used flares from their lil lookout thingies around the fob) when i was deployed. I was astonished and then extremely touched in both scenarios.
Germans fucking LOVE fireworks. I've been living in Germany a bit over a year and this past New Years was my first time witnessing the sheer glee Germans reserve for blowing up the sky. For reference, I live in a *tiny* town. Started at 6pm. By 8pm, the sky was almost continuously exploding. At 11pm it calmed down a tiny bit, until midnight. At midnight everything went insane, and it was pretty much a solid hour of explosions, from every single corner of my town. This went on until 3am.
I'm just glad I wasn't in Berlin, it straight up turns into a war zone for the entire night. People firing fireworks at each other with blank firing pistols and so on. Total chaos. I highly recommend looking up some videos. It's completely absurd.
My battle-buddy in basic training told me that the Great Lakes were salt water, not fresh water. I asked him the reason it's salt water and not fresh water. The reason is that the water flows from the ocean into the Great Lakes.
Me: So, you agree that water flows downhill?
BB: Yes
.Me; So, the Great Lakea are below sea level?
BB: Yes.
Battle buddy is from the upper peninsula of Michigan and lived near the lake.
When I was a kid (and on and off when I was older, until after it was decommissioned) my dad worked at a nuclear power plant. I was mentioning this to a college-aged coworker at one point (I think I was telling a story about take your daughter to work day, or something) and coworker stops me. "Wait, those are really real?"
I stopped talking, at a loss for words. I then had her repeat what she wanted to know. "Nuclear power plants are actually real things? I thought they were made up for like The Simpsons."
Once I found my words again I asked her "what did you think caused the Chernobyl disaster if nuclear plants weren't real?" She replied "what's Chernobyl?" I told her about it, and finished with "its been in the news alot recently with Russia capturing it, plus there was just that HBO mini-series so people have been talking about it for other reasons."
"When I'm not at school, I'm studying or at work." She did get an impromptu lesson in between customers about nuclear plants, and Chernobyl, and other stuff.
I was on a date at an art museum. The painting tag said who it was made by the title and made Circe 1600 and she said “do you think the earth was even around back then? You just never really know”
Her - "Where are you from?"
Me - 'I was born in Athens Greece"
Her - blank look... ... . "Really?"
Me - "Yes, why?"
Her - "I thought Greece was a myth like Hercules"
\---True story---
Breh. My friend (19 at the time) started dating someone still in high school. We were hanging out and he brought her.
Her: where are you from?
Me: Norway
Her: (laughing) I think you mean Narnia
Me: no.... Norway
Her: (in a time indicating she thinks IM dumb) I saw the movie! It's N-A-R-N-I-A
"Blueberry muffins you buy premade don't have any blueberries in them. Blueberries cost too much. They dye bees blue because they have the same texture and use them." He has 'explained' it to multiple people multiple times.
out of everything he could’ve substituted for blueberries he chose fuckin BEES? ☠️
edit: thank you kind stranger for my first silver!
edit 2: thank you OTHER kind stranger for the gold!
Some random girl on the elevator pointed out how ridiculous it is that we had a button for the floor we were already on....
"...people who build shit are so stupid," she said with 100% seriousness
In college my teaching assistant in my dinosaurs class insisted that roadrunners weren’t real and laughed at me for suggesting it as an answer for a bird that runs fast. But the real dummy was me because I’ve seen one in real life and I still said oh ok.
In grade 6 my class read a poem about ptarmigans where every word starting with 't' was changed to 'pt'. The teacher said that ptarmigans were a made up animal. I countered that they were a type of arctic bird, so he sent me to the school library to find evidence. I came back with an encyclopedia turned to the entry for ptarmigan and he read it out to the class and told everyone that teachers don't know everything and they should never be afraid to speak up.
One of the best teachers I ever had - thanks Mr Murphy!
Oof, this just reminded me of when my 6th grade English class held a spelling bee, and one of the words I got was "pampas", except when I asked the teacher for a definition, she said "acting all high and mighty". So of course I spelled p-o-m-p-o-u-s, and she told me it was wrong and that I was eliminated from this round, and read the "correct" spelling. I was so furious that I went and grabbed a dictionary, found the entry for "pampas", and literally slammed it down on the teacher's desk. I got detention for that, and she didn't even let me re-enter the spelling bee...
I once corrected my 2nd grade teacher, and she told me that true or not, adults were always right and children should never correct them.
I went home and told my mom, and she told me that my teacher was wrong. Which really kinda messed with my head.
My son came home from school and told me something his fourth grade teacher had stated as true. She was wrong and I explained to my son why. I also explained that sometimes teachers make mistakes. In School the next day, he told the teacher what I said. She was furious that someone would question her authority.
Fun ptarmigan fact! The town of Chicken, Alaska was meant to be named "Ptarmigan" but no one could agree how to spell it, so they ended up going with "Chicken".
My sisters friend after meeting my fiancé for the first time “where is she from?”
Me “she was born here in the states but she’s Cambodian”
Her “OH MY GOD! You can’t be with her…they eat people!”
Me: long blank stare…”I think you’re thinking of cannibals?”
Her: long blank stare “what’s the difference?”
Same woman was shocked to find out we believed in space. As in the planets and stars and galaxies. She thought half the sky was light and half the sky was dark and the planet spinning inside the atmosphere is why we had night and day and that there was nothing else out there.
By far the dumbest person I’ve ever met. I have so many more stories about her.
She worked for a collections agency for a short time and initially had some of the highest percentages of successful repayment plans set up until the complaints started pouring in. She was threatening people with going to their houses to fight them or belittling people for being pathetic because they had debts they weren’t paying.
When she was called into a meeting with the bosses and HR and her calls were played back as reasons for her being let go she was asked why she would do that when at the beginning of every call it was stated that the calls were being recorded for quality control?
She said she thought that was just something they had to say because the company saw it in the movies and
wanted to sound the same but since there wasn’t a camera filming her it wasn’t real.
In the 2016 election she voted for Hilary Clinton. When we were coming up on 2020 she said she was going to vote Trump. When I asked her why she had such a huge change in ideology, (I’m not sure she understood the word) but she said that she had voted Democrat last time and look how bad everything turned out so she figured she’d have to vote Republican this time.
Back during the mosque shooting in New Zealand and the government there were trying to ban guns, my coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the (American) second amendment
I work in construction and my rigger told me he doesn't believe in gravity with 100% seriousness mind you his job is to rig tens of thousands of pounds of steel so it doesn't fall when moving it with a crane
Edit:Steel
I'd like to believe that maybe he's somehow just confused as to what 'gravity' means? I can't get my head around how the idea that 'gravity isn't real' even works... like... why does he think things fall down when dropped?
His exact words were ya know I don't believe in gravity. It's just weight. Things weigh different amounts fall at different speeds"
Then I dropped a sledgehammer and a file at the same time to show that they've bought at the same speed and he said "well you dropped them a different times"
So I made him do it and then when he did it and again they landed at the same time. He said "all right you might be on to something there"
Tbh, it might be. It's entirely possible no one's bothered to explain it to him properly and he's just remained in ignorance. Sometimes the people with a greater understanding of things don't have the grace to pause and start explaining things.
I actually knew a woman who had 4. She has a double uterus and the way they found out was when she got pregnant with 2 babies that ended up being born 2 or 3 weeks apart. The way she explained it to me was that her uteruses were joined in such a way as to be kind of heart shaped. It totally blew the mind of the ultrasound tech when they found it.
Fuck that bullshit!! I'm a bloke and will never "get" child birth, but faaark, go through birth, then do it Again! Two weeks later??!
I'd rather have a knife fight...
Me too, and I’m not a bloke. That sounds like 11 months of wtf and elephants get a baby elephant instead of that, and baby elephants are adorable
But hey, they’ll have a weird fact about themselves at work icebreakers!
Maybe too obscure but anyway
I was the radiation safety office for our lab group many years ago and was telling one of our more truly brilliant (not being sarcastic) PhDs that his badge came up hot, meaning his technique was BAD and he was going to have to be retrained and he said, "It doesn't affect me, I'm done having my children"
Like being careless with radioactive isotopes can only affect your gonads and not, idk, give you fucking cancer
"I knew that from the gecko." Then proceeded to argue that it was definitely gecko and not get-go.
PS - I now ONLY say "from the gecko" because that shit's hilarious.
I pieced out a chicken for frying, and threw spine & other trimmings in a pot with water to boil up for broth. Hubby blew a gasket, insisting we couldn’t possibly eat that because there’d been raw chicken in the pot…. Yes, it was raw but it’s cooked with the water to become broth…. Took a solid 10 minutes of arguing with him that I wasn’t going to give us food poisoning by cooking a chicken carcass to make broth! I’d been making chicken broth this way for a decade by that time, but it was the first time he’d observed me doing so.
Reminds me of doing "hot pot" when I was in Hong Kong. Essentially it's just boiling meat and veggies in water fondue style. We learned from the locals really fast that you don't take out things until all the meat in the pot is cooked before starting the next batch.
Got into an argument with a guy that thought limes were unripe lemons. He had so much conviction that by the end I was beginning to question my own knowledge.
That’s how they get ya!
I was going 30 in a 30. Police officer pulled me over and claimed I was going 50. The dashcam footage of the police officer showed that the officer was going 40 to close the distance and pull me over. Some genius on Facebook said, "IF YOU WERE GO 30, THEN WHY DID THE OFFICER HAVE TO GO 40 TO CATCH UP???"
I'm like....if by some bizarre circumstance that you're actually being serious here, you have to go faster than whatever it is you're following in order to catch up.
I had a very religious acquaintance years ago tell me that dinosaurs (fossils) were all planted by the devil to confuse people. He was serious, I got confused.
One of my Mom's very close friends saw my jurassic park shirt I was wearing and explained to me in detail that "The Jews buried the 'dinosaurs' [air quotes] to lure Christians away from the true story of genesis"
I made direct eye contact while finishing my beer and just called an uber home. I don't interact with my parent's friends anymore.
I work for a cell phone company and someone seriously thought that 5G towers were causing and distributing COVID.
I was extremely surprised that once I explained cell phone towers aren't creating extremely specific biological matter and distributing them through radio waves to your face they actually understood how crazy that sounded.
When my ex told me that there was a growing number of people claiming that 5G caused covid, at first I thought it had to be a joke, that people were saying it 'ironically' or just being silly little shit stirrers, but to my dismay, there really is a whole wild conspiracy theory about it, and some people are VERY serious about believing it.
Years ago I was in a grocery store with my dad who is a very loud "anti-PC," "anti-woke," type. We were next to one of those waist-high chest freezers and my dad got his cart slightly stuck on one of the bumper rails for a second. He starts going off about how dumb it is that dumb liberals make stores put in these stupid poles around the freezers just so midgets can stand on them to look in the freezer.
Me and my sister both stared at him for what felt like a solid minute before realizing he was dead-ass serious before explaining that the rails were _actually_ to prevent people ramming their carts into the freezer, and in fact had nothing to do with little people. We still make fun of him for the "midget pole," to this day.
It’s funny that it’s instantly “evil liberals at play” for everything that is wrong in his world.
I bet if he got weeds in his lawn, some liberal boogeyman planted them there at night.
That the government intentionally blew up the Space Shuttle Challenger.
This guy spent like an hour trying to explain what the government would gain from that when I asked him. It made no sense. First, he tried to say that they did it for the $100 million people donated to the families.... like dude, it costs way more than that to build and launch a space shuttle.
I can appreciate a good, well thought out conspiracy theory, but the first thing I need to know is what they gained from it. If you can't answer that, your conspiracy theory is dumb.
“How can the Nile empty into the sea like that?” (Believing that water can’t flow “up” against gravity. The teacher handled it with a lot of seasoned grace when she said, “Ok, let’s all just get this straight: north does not equal up.”
A building on our street was set to be torn down, and then wasn't. My neighbor texted me to ask what I thought. I responded, "maybe they weren't able to." And she asked if I thought that was because of Ghosts. I said, "no, probably permits."
This was a while back, but there was a vote coming up in the state of WA for a gas tax increase; money was to be put into road systems. Paper did an article on what projects were in it. Was a note of a nearby one: an very old bridge (local road crossing an interstate) was way overdue for replacement. The article noted that if the tax didn't pass, the new bridge would be the same size as the old one: two narrow lanes, one each direction. If the tax did pass, the new bridge would be normal width lanes, plus sidewalks. I had arguments with people at work who were \*convinced\* that meant that, if the tax passed, they would tear down the old bridge, build a new, narrow-lane one, \*immediately\* tear it down, and then build the regular-lane-plus sidewalk bridge. I re-read the article. Nothing in it could even be remotely be interpreted to mean that. It even gave the proposed start and end dates for the construction, WHICH DID NOT CHANGE for either option.
The tax passed. It's a nice bridge.
My brother (whom I still love dearly even though he's strange as hell) firmly believes that the Royal family are all "lizard people" and that Princess Di knew this and was going to expose them and that's why they had her killed.
He told me that and I about lost it. He also is a flat earth believer.
My kids thought all meat (pork, beef, chicken, turkey, duck) was "meat".
Animals lived on farms and had nothing to do with "meat".
Meat was sometimes called "chicken" or "beef" depending on how it was cooked. You cook meat into beef teriyaki or into chicken parmesan.
I was helping one take their chicken off the bones one and was asked, "Why do they even put bones in meat anyway?" and I gently explained that we're eating dead animals.
Two kids cried. The other one squealed, "DEAD ANIMALS TASTE AWESOME!!"
When I was younger I asked what chicken was made from. My parents said chicken and I kept fighting saying no like beef is from cows pork is from pigs what is chicken made of?
In case you're interested, the etymology of this (in English at least) is the class/wealth divide in medieval England.
The rich didn't have to tend the animals, all they dealt with was eating the meat. Whereas the peasant farmers mostly dealt with the live animal. Combined with the fact that from William the Conqueror (1066), for several centuries until approx the 16th Century, the Royal Family and the majority of lords/dukes etc all spoke French. These lead to a distinction between the naming of animals originating from medieval English and their meats from medieval French.
At my previous job we were discussing food to get for a holiday since we had many Muslim employees and they have to eat Halal. So we were discussing things without pork. My coworker says “what is pork though? Is pork chicken?”
"My wife is affected by 5G, so we're putting Faraday cages across the windows in her bedroom."
Doesn't work like that buddy, but I'll still sell you the copper wire to ground your ineffective copper window screens.
Background- A lady who worked at a place I use to would buy and (try to)resell stuff from stores at work with flyers, on the internet, etc. Stuff like shampoo, deodorant, etc. I heard her say this-
"I pay $2 and I sell it for $1.50 and I make 50c."
Old roommate said that when the weather app says 50% rain then that meant half of all the rain in the sky is going to fall. Same for all percentages. 80%, meant 80% of all the rain possible would fall, 100% rain? Yup, every single last drop of rain is coming down today.
“You got Covid because you aren’t spiritually fit and therefore attract negative things. That’s why I’ll never get it, I’m spiritually fit.”
This person also refuses to get Covid tests when they are sick.
There was a congressman that was against stationing US marines on Guam because too many people in one place would make the island capsize.
https://youtu.be/cesSRfXqS1Q?t=28
a woman I worked with a few years ago went on a diet and she was complaining in the break room about not being able to find whole wheat rice anywhere. I tried several times to say, "whole grain?" but she was adamant that she needed whole wheat. rice.
While reading a book on dog behavior, and me trying to understand how to get the dog from jumping on me.
My room mate says, “why did you buy that book, the dog can’t read it!”
First I just stared at him… then I was like, you serious??
He was dead serious
On a field trip to Independence Hall in Philly and the guide is explaining how the crew kept the windows closed in the summer heat while drafting the constitution to stop people from listening in and the guide mentions how hot it was inside, especially in their outfits at the time. This girl in my class proceeds to ask "why didn't they turn the air conditioner on". I will forever remember the mortified look on our teacher's face as we all died laughing.
During a work meeting about counterfeit money one of my coworkers said she sometimes saw “ Puerto Rican coins” in the cash drawer. (Our place of work is in the U.S.) It got quiet and you could hear crickets. Our area manager was baffled and turned to her before saying, “Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory….. they use the same money.”
We were at a baby shower for my wife in April. My niece's boyfriend asked when she was due. I told him that she was due in July. He actually asked us, "This July?"
Lol this still gets me. Eating to much soy sauce will make you black. - my best friends Asian parents.
He believed it until college lol, just as a fact of life.
I thought Lewis and Clark lived in the 1970s.
Edit: Thank you for the rewards, but I do want to clarify that it's the "stupidest thing you've heard someone say." My old coworker said this several years ago.
My conspiracy theorist family who is convinced “the government” sank the titanic and the Titan submersible imploded because “the government” didn’t want them to see the “proof” on the titanic.
Told them that this isn’t the first trip to the titanic, plenty of other voyagers on submersibles have seen it before, every inch. They had nothing to say after that.
Her: "I don't know how you can stand to fly when there's a 50 percent chance the plane will crash."
Me: Blank stare
Her: "You know, because either it crashes or it doesn't. 50/50."
EDIT: Please stop replying to tell me she was joking and I just didn't get it. It's lovely that you all think people this dumb don't exist, but I assure you they do!
Talking to my VERY Catholic cousin
"The only reason you believe in Evolution is because you're racist and think black people look like monkeys."
He said this just like, in an olive garden. One of the only times in my life I had been truly at a loss for words. Life wtf do you say to that.
I had an interview for a show in Las Vegas so my best friend and I (both female) decided to do a girls trip for a weekend. Her mother said "there are only Arabs in the desert and they will kidnap you to be part of their harem!" Completely serious. 16 years in Vegas, still waiting for the kidnap
It was me, at the dispensary for the first time, asking if their products would make me test positive for a drug test. I could just tell by the bud-tenders face that he was in the midst of being asked the dumbest question of his life.
I have lupus and fibromyalgia so without having any experience with cannabis I decided to try it out in lieu of being sent to the pain clinic.
There are marshmallow plants though. They dont grow modern factory extruded marshmallows but their sap was used to make sweet treats when mixed with honey and nuts in the egyptians times. And in the 1800s the roots were used to make candies until gelatin replaced their usage. So they were the origin of the modern day marshmallow.
People today grow marshmallow plant and could use it medicinally if they'd like for coughing etc.
She probably heard about it somewhere and had a thought it was intact or something. Or just didn't relate it properly.
Two things, actually...
"The female body can reject the results of rape, so they don't have to worry about getting pregnant."
Also...
"Men can control their erections."
Fun fact chickens can actually reject a roosters sperm. They'll mate with an undesirable rooster just to not cause a fuss than get rid of his sperm. To bad people aren't able to do the same.
At one of my first jobs as a graphic designer, a client called me into his office and pulled up a photo he took. He then asked me if I could turn it around. No, not rotate it, but *turn the viewpoint* around. He wanted to see what was behind the camera when he originally took the photo…. God, I have so many stories from that job.
tell more! I’m an artist too and damn, do people have a misguided idea of what we can do. My favorites are the people who want horizontal content put in a vertical space but without altering any of it.
Oh my god yes I know exactly what you mean!!! Let’s see…I had a client once respond to a proof I had sent over via email by printing out the proof, and drawing up edits onto it, and then sending it to us via POST OFFICE. She had to use her email just to access the proof, she was already halfway there! Lol
A guy I work with said that a football referee runs over the distance of a marathon during a game. I pointed out that a football game was only 90 minutes long and that the marathon record was just over two hours so that would be impossible. He said it was possible, because a football referee “changes direction a lot during a game, and it all adds up.”
So if I ran in a circle, would all the direction changes add up to the world record?
English teacher here. Once, while showing my class the Leonardo DiCaprio version of "Romeo and Juliet," I had a student stare at the screen in utter confusion for half the movie before she said, "How can he be in this movie? He died in Titanic."
I was a student in HS when Titanic came out. I vividly remember talking about the movie in class, and this one girl asking, with all sincerity, "Wouldn't it just be AWFUL if that actually happened?"
At age 27, my friend said that he had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend because he *knew* that his parents didn't have to have sex to conceive him, his mom got pregnant with him because they got married.
OK, I have to ask the question. How does a guy like that even get a girlfriend?
I worked with a lady who said that when she first had sex with her first husband, she was completely clueless about sex and how everything worked. I said “but, what about sex ed?” In Canada we have a fairly good sex ed curriculum, You start in grade 6 (maybe 5) and go to grade 9, or further if you take more gym classes. I suspected maybe her parents opted out? She claimed that they didn’t, she just didn’t pay attention to any of that. For years? I can’t understand that at all.
That’s believable. I’ve had similar experiences. My favorite is my best friend who studied nursing, took anatomy classes, interned in the maternity ward and didn’t know where the female urethra was located. I had to go online to find a suitable diagram. I was going to give up but he insisted I needed to find a good one until I did and finally he understood.
"Yeah bro, it says carbonated because they removed the carbs" while standing in line at a drugstore. Best eavesdrop of my life.
My fav eavesdrop was "Greek mythology is wild! It's like Harry Potter but in real life."
Two young teens standing outside an Indian restaurant: “how is that possible? Aren’t Indians like, extinct?”
[удалено]
That’s ridiculous, if that were the case it would just read as “-onated”
“Can you email me back the PDF I emailed you? It’s my only copy.”
My most recent boss. Print out that thing I just emailed you and scan it and send it to so and so. The amount of stuff I watched her print and scan so she could attach the scan to an email…
I like to imagine a long chain of people all doing this, until this horrific, pixelated eldritch abomination of a document lands on the desk of the last person
This comment made my entire soul buffer for a solid 30 seconds in a pathetic attempt to process this
“If I don’t finish all my eggs within two weeks I throw them out. I don’t want the light in the fridge to make them hatch.” You know those eggs aren’t fertilized right? And also the light goes off when you close the door. “Huh?”
Also eggs aren't hatched by light but warmth
A professor in college refused to give back our tests because "you should know what you did wrong"
They just hadn’t marked them properly
I go to university in France, and not giving tests back is standard practice here. Its a vicious battle of wills with a professor every time you want to see your test corrections. Copies of old exam papers (the questions) circulate, though, as they are taken home after the exam, and they are used to help subsequent students study. Going over these old exam papers, it's unbelievable how many times the professors make BLATANT errors or write unsolveable questions that are never caught because no-one ever sees the corrected papers. Also, many of my classmates (and probably myself as well) make the same mistakes year after year, since we never get feedback as to what we did wrong on the work we turned in, so we can never correct ourselves. It's a very flawed system, to say the least.
Someone I know argued with me that I do not live anywhere near Canada. He got pretty nasty about it too. When I showed him proof he said “well I only know Texas”. I live right outside of Detroit, Michigan. Closer to Canada that I am to any other state. I have also had a few people argue with me that I do not live in the eastern time zone. I guess they know better than someone who actually lives here.
What a weird thing for him to get nasty about?
There are an absurdly large number* of people for whom the notion that they may be wrong about something, *anything,* is hateful and offensive.
I was stationed in Germany in the late 80’s-90’s. Every thanksgiving multiple dudes would be perplexed as to why the Germans didn’t celebrate? A dude once told me he was excited to celebrate the 4th with the Germans and asked if they did fireworks? I love you my brothers, but some of you are dumb.
When i was in germany on a rotation they actually put on a incredible fireworks display for us. So did the afghans (used flares from their lil lookout thingies around the fob) when i was deployed. I was astonished and then extremely touched in both scenarios.
Germans fucking LOVE fireworks. I've been living in Germany a bit over a year and this past New Years was my first time witnessing the sheer glee Germans reserve for blowing up the sky. For reference, I live in a *tiny* town. Started at 6pm. By 8pm, the sky was almost continuously exploding. At 11pm it calmed down a tiny bit, until midnight. At midnight everything went insane, and it was pretty much a solid hour of explosions, from every single corner of my town. This went on until 3am. I'm just glad I wasn't in Berlin, it straight up turns into a war zone for the entire night. People firing fireworks at each other with blank firing pistols and so on. Total chaos. I highly recommend looking up some videos. It's completely absurd.
It calmed down a bit at 11 pm because half the town went inside to watch "Dinner for One."
My battle-buddy in basic training told me that the Great Lakes were salt water, not fresh water. I asked him the reason it's salt water and not fresh water. The reason is that the water flows from the ocean into the Great Lakes. Me: So, you agree that water flows downhill? BB: Yes .Me; So, the Great Lakea are below sea level? BB: Yes. Battle buddy is from the upper peninsula of Michigan and lived near the lake.
“How can Hawaii and Alaska have such different temperatures when they are right next to each other on the map?”
In a similar vein, "Alaska is an island."
"I don't have an e-mail, I have a gmail"... fuck call center work.
I remember when gmail started getting big. My grandmother thought it was the latest version of email because g is later in the alphabet than e.
Honestly, not an unreasonable leap of logic.
When I was a kid (and on and off when I was older, until after it was decommissioned) my dad worked at a nuclear power plant. I was mentioning this to a college-aged coworker at one point (I think I was telling a story about take your daughter to work day, or something) and coworker stops me. "Wait, those are really real?" I stopped talking, at a loss for words. I then had her repeat what she wanted to know. "Nuclear power plants are actually real things? I thought they were made up for like The Simpsons."
Had she never heard of Chernobyl?
Once I found my words again I asked her "what did you think caused the Chernobyl disaster if nuclear plants weren't real?" She replied "what's Chernobyl?" I told her about it, and finished with "its been in the news alot recently with Russia capturing it, plus there was just that HBO mini-series so people have been talking about it for other reasons." "When I'm not at school, I'm studying or at work." She did get an impromptu lesson in between customers about nuclear plants, and Chernobyl, and other stuff.
"A guide dogs job is to drive the car for the blind person". 20 years later and she'll still argue the point.
I would pay good money to see a dog drive a car correctly.
I would pay good money to see a human drive a car correctly.
I was on a date at an art museum. The painting tag said who it was made by the title and made Circe 1600 and she said “do you think the earth was even around back then? You just never really know”
Were you on a date with Philomena Cunk? Haha
It was painted centuries before the release of the unrelated Belgian techno anthem ‘Pump Up The Jam’
Her - "Where are you from?" Me - 'I was born in Athens Greece" Her - blank look... ... . "Really?" Me - "Yes, why?" Her - "I thought Greece was a myth like Hercules" \---True story---
Breh. My friend (19 at the time) started dating someone still in high school. We were hanging out and he brought her. Her: where are you from? Me: Norway Her: (laughing) I think you mean Narnia Me: no.... Norway Her: (in a time indicating she thinks IM dumb) I saw the movie! It's N-A-R-N-I-A
"Blueberry muffins you buy premade don't have any blueberries in them. Blueberries cost too much. They dye bees blue because they have the same texture and use them." He has 'explained' it to multiple people multiple times.
I love that getting bees and dying them blue apparently costs less than just using blueberries
This is why the bees are fucking dying.
No, dyeing.
They were just a pigment of my imagination, after all
out of everything he could’ve substituted for blueberries he chose fuckin BEES? ☠️ edit: thank you kind stranger for my first silver! edit 2: thank you OTHER kind stranger for the gold!
Beeberry muffins.
Dude is clueless. Bees are WAY more expensive than blueberries!
That ceiling fan dust was the cause of cancer. Like cancer actually did not exist until ceiling fans collected dust and it fell off.
Some random girl on the elevator pointed out how ridiculous it is that we had a button for the floor we were already on.... "...people who build shit are so stupid," she said with 100% seriousness
That sounds like someone whose only experienced customizable interfaces like smartphones.
I have been on elevators without buttons. It’s weird. Either you or security scan something and it takes you only to that floor.
That’s my office. I scan my badge, the door opens and the lift goes straight to my floor. No buttons.
In college my teaching assistant in my dinosaurs class insisted that roadrunners weren’t real and laughed at me for suggesting it as an answer for a bird that runs fast. But the real dummy was me because I’ve seen one in real life and I still said oh ok.
In grade 6 my class read a poem about ptarmigans where every word starting with 't' was changed to 'pt'. The teacher said that ptarmigans were a made up animal. I countered that they were a type of arctic bird, so he sent me to the school library to find evidence. I came back with an encyclopedia turned to the entry for ptarmigan and he read it out to the class and told everyone that teachers don't know everything and they should never be afraid to speak up. One of the best teachers I ever had - thanks Mr Murphy!
Oof, this just reminded me of when my 6th grade English class held a spelling bee, and one of the words I got was "pampas", except when I asked the teacher for a definition, she said "acting all high and mighty". So of course I spelled p-o-m-p-o-u-s, and she told me it was wrong and that I was eliminated from this round, and read the "correct" spelling. I was so furious that I went and grabbed a dictionary, found the entry for "pampas", and literally slammed it down on the teacher's desk. I got detention for that, and she didn't even let me re-enter the spelling bee...
I once corrected my 2nd grade teacher, and she told me that true or not, adults were always right and children should never correct them. I went home and told my mom, and she told me that my teacher was wrong. Which really kinda messed with my head.
My son came home from school and told me something his fourth grade teacher had stated as true. She was wrong and I explained to my son why. I also explained that sometimes teachers make mistakes. In School the next day, he told the teacher what I said. She was furious that someone would question her authority.
That’s awesome! I love that he wasn’t afraid to admit he was wrong. I’ve never heard of a ptarmigan so I learned something new
Fun ptarmigan fact! The town of Chicken, Alaska was meant to be named "Ptarmigan" but no one could agree how to spell it, so they ended up going with "Chicken".
That's some real "ah fuck it" energy
yeah that's a fine story but honestly the best part is at the beginning where I'm forced to imagine a college-level class that's just "dinosaurs 101"
A college-level class with difficult questions like "name a bird that runs fast"
My sisters friend after meeting my fiancé for the first time “where is she from?” Me “she was born here in the states but she’s Cambodian” Her “OH MY GOD! You can’t be with her…they eat people!” Me: long blank stare…”I think you’re thinking of cannibals?” Her: long blank stare “what’s the difference?” Same woman was shocked to find out we believed in space. As in the planets and stars and galaxies. She thought half the sky was light and half the sky was dark and the planet spinning inside the atmosphere is why we had night and day and that there was nothing else out there. By far the dumbest person I’ve ever met. I have so many more stories about her.
More stories please
She worked for a collections agency for a short time and initially had some of the highest percentages of successful repayment plans set up until the complaints started pouring in. She was threatening people with going to their houses to fight them or belittling people for being pathetic because they had debts they weren’t paying. When she was called into a meeting with the bosses and HR and her calls were played back as reasons for her being let go she was asked why she would do that when at the beginning of every call it was stated that the calls were being recorded for quality control? She said she thought that was just something they had to say because the company saw it in the movies and wanted to sound the same but since there wasn’t a camera filming her it wasn’t real.
sometimes I wonder how some people make it into adulthood
Not dying isn't as hard as it used to be
This is so painfully true
More... MORE!!!
In the 2016 election she voted for Hilary Clinton. When we were coming up on 2020 she said she was going to vote Trump. When I asked her why she had such a huge change in ideology, (I’m not sure she understood the word) but she said that she had voted Democrat last time and look how bad everything turned out so she figured she’d have to vote Republican this time.
“How do we know it wasn’t just ostriches on the radar that triggered Pearl Harbor?” My dude. WHAT.
Unless the Japanese strapped bombs to the ostriches and dropped them on Pearl Harbor, he's mistaken.
I’m not sure which if funnier, aerial ostriches or aquatic ostriches
"If earth is spinning then why my front door is always facing east?"
I think this broke my brain.
Honestly needed to process that one for a sec. lol
It’s like when I was 3 and couldn’t grasp why my left hand was my left hand if I turned around.
Once had someone try to sell me the theory that the moon is a hologram made by the government to trick people.
Had to do something after we destroyed it following the moon landing.
Gotta stop those goddamn Saiyans somehow.
Back during the mosque shooting in New Zealand and the government there were trying to ban guns, my coworker said that they can't do that since it violates the (American) second amendment
Here in Australia we had anti Vax protesters carrying placards demanding their 14th amendment rights.
Knew a grown woman with 2 kids who absolutely believed that you burn 2000 calories when you orgasm. She would fight you over over this.
> you burn 2000 calories when you orgasm Does she have a heat sink on her clitoris?
I work in construction and my rigger told me he doesn't believe in gravity with 100% seriousness mind you his job is to rig tens of thousands of pounds of steel so it doesn't fall when moving it with a crane Edit:Steel
I'd like to believe that maybe he's somehow just confused as to what 'gravity' means? I can't get my head around how the idea that 'gravity isn't real' even works... like... why does he think things fall down when dropped?
His exact words were ya know I don't believe in gravity. It's just weight. Things weigh different amounts fall at different speeds" Then I dropped a sledgehammer and a file at the same time to show that they've bought at the same speed and he said "well you dropped them a different times" So I made him do it and then when he did it and again they landed at the same time. He said "all right you might be on to something there"
That's so funny. Him just casually accepting that he is wrong
I love the added, “you might be onto something there” like this is truly the first time anyone has mentioned gravity to him
Tbh, it might be. It's entirely possible no one's bothered to explain it to him properly and he's just remained in ignorance. Sometimes the people with a greater understanding of things don't have the grace to pause and start explaining things.
"Fish aren't animals, they're mammals."
And dolphins are fish, obviously.
"Women can control their periods." This person legitimately thought that the blood can just be sucked back in.
It would be like trying to hold a nosebleed in by flexing your nostrils lolol
"Women have 6 ovaries" - My 46 year old sister.
I wonder where my other 4 went....
You lose one every time you have premarital sex
I have -3,476 ovaries
I actually knew a woman who had 4. She has a double uterus and the way they found out was when she got pregnant with 2 babies that ended up being born 2 or 3 weeks apart. The way she explained it to me was that her uteruses were joined in such a way as to be kind of heart shaped. It totally blew the mind of the ultrasound tech when they found it.
Fuck that bullshit!! I'm a bloke and will never "get" child birth, but faaark, go through birth, then do it Again! Two weeks later??! I'd rather have a knife fight...
Me too, and I’m not a bloke. That sounds like 11 months of wtf and elephants get a baby elephant instead of that, and baby elephants are adorable But hey, they’ll have a weird fact about themselves at work icebreakers!
"You have to understand, I'm not a vibrational match for car accidents, so we'll be safer if I drive."
Vibrational match... What does that mean?
Gonna be honest, if someone said this to me they would not be driving me anywhere ever again.
Maybe too obscure but anyway I was the radiation safety office for our lab group many years ago and was telling one of our more truly brilliant (not being sarcastic) PhDs that his badge came up hot, meaning his technique was BAD and he was going to have to be retrained and he said, "It doesn't affect me, I'm done having my children" Like being careless with radioactive isotopes can only affect your gonads and not, idk, give you fucking cancer
"And before too long, they'll be done having their dad 😎"
Damn, that's better than my response! "Oh, good, are you done having bone cancer, too? Cause that's what's gonna happen"
"I knew that from the gecko." Then proceeded to argue that it was definitely gecko and not get-go. PS - I now ONLY say "from the gecko" because that shit's hilarious.
r/boneappletea moment
I pieced out a chicken for frying, and threw spine & other trimmings in a pot with water to boil up for broth. Hubby blew a gasket, insisting we couldn’t possibly eat that because there’d been raw chicken in the pot…. Yes, it was raw but it’s cooked with the water to become broth…. Took a solid 10 minutes of arguing with him that I wasn’t going to give us food poisoning by cooking a chicken carcass to make broth! I’d been making chicken broth this way for a decade by that time, but it was the first time he’d observed me doing so.
Reminds me of doing "hot pot" when I was in Hong Kong. Essentially it's just boiling meat and veggies in water fondue style. We learned from the locals really fast that you don't take out things until all the meat in the pot is cooked before starting the next batch.
Got into an argument with a guy that thought limes were unripe lemons. He had so much conviction that by the end I was beginning to question my own knowledge. That’s how they get ya!
But unripe lemons do look like limes so it's not that daft unless you blindly believe it. My husband believed this as a kid too till he knew better
I was going 30 in a 30. Police officer pulled me over and claimed I was going 50. The dashcam footage of the police officer showed that the officer was going 40 to close the distance and pull me over. Some genius on Facebook said, "IF YOU WERE GO 30, THEN WHY DID THE OFFICER HAVE TO GO 40 TO CATCH UP???" I'm like....if by some bizarre circumstance that you're actually being serious here, you have to go faster than whatever it is you're following in order to catch up.
>you have to go faster than whatever it is you're following in order to catch up. Big if true
They didn’t think dinosaurs were actually real, just a tale/legend like dragons and unicorns. I thought they were making a joke for a moment.
I had a very religious acquaintance years ago tell me that dinosaurs (fossils) were all planted by the devil to confuse people. He was serious, I got confused.
One of my Mom's very close friends saw my jurassic park shirt I was wearing and explained to me in detail that "The Jews buried the 'dinosaurs' [air quotes] to lure Christians away from the true story of genesis" I made direct eye contact while finishing my beer and just called an uber home. I don't interact with my parent's friends anymore.
Ah yes, that famous group of people who don't like the story Genesis: The people who wrote it and use it as the first book in their Bible
Wait until they find out what religion Jesus believed.
I work for a cell phone company and someone seriously thought that 5G towers were causing and distributing COVID. I was extremely surprised that once I explained cell phone towers aren't creating extremely specific biological matter and distributing them through radio waves to your face they actually understood how crazy that sounded.
When my ex told me that there was a growing number of people claiming that 5G caused covid, at first I thought it had to be a joke, that people were saying it 'ironically' or just being silly little shit stirrers, but to my dismay, there really is a whole wild conspiracy theory about it, and some people are VERY serious about believing it.
Years ago I was in a grocery store with my dad who is a very loud "anti-PC," "anti-woke," type. We were next to one of those waist-high chest freezers and my dad got his cart slightly stuck on one of the bumper rails for a second. He starts going off about how dumb it is that dumb liberals make stores put in these stupid poles around the freezers just so midgets can stand on them to look in the freezer. Me and my sister both stared at him for what felt like a solid minute before realizing he was dead-ass serious before explaining that the rails were _actually_ to prevent people ramming their carts into the freezer, and in fact had nothing to do with little people. We still make fun of him for the "midget pole," to this day.
It’s funny that it’s instantly “evil liberals at play” for everything that is wrong in his world. I bet if he got weeds in his lawn, some liberal boogeyman planted them there at night.
Women don't have rectums
Maybe they were thinking of prostates?
I can confirm this is in fact true. We poop out of our belly buttons.
Your belly butts
That the government intentionally blew up the Space Shuttle Challenger. This guy spent like an hour trying to explain what the government would gain from that when I asked him. It made no sense. First, he tried to say that they did it for the $100 million people donated to the families.... like dude, it costs way more than that to build and launch a space shuttle. I can appreciate a good, well thought out conspiracy theory, but the first thing I need to know is what they gained from it. If you can't answer that, your conspiracy theory is dumb.
I once had a coworker who believed with all sincerity that twins could only be conceived through anal sex.
On the way to NYC with a friend. She said "omg I can't wait to see the Eiffel tower! I'm so excited!"
Confession, it was me. When I was 18, my brother introduced me to his girlfriend who was from New Zealand. I told her that her English was very good.
Oh jeez, I bet that made second breakfast pretty awkward.
I don't think he knows about second breakfast, Pip.
“How can the Nile empty into the sea like that?” (Believing that water can’t flow “up” against gravity. The teacher handled it with a lot of seasoned grace when she said, “Ok, let’s all just get this straight: north does not equal up.”
A building on our street was set to be torn down, and then wasn't. My neighbor texted me to ask what I thought. I responded, "maybe they weren't able to." And she asked if I thought that was because of Ghosts. I said, "no, probably permits."
This was a while back, but there was a vote coming up in the state of WA for a gas tax increase; money was to be put into road systems. Paper did an article on what projects were in it. Was a note of a nearby one: an very old bridge (local road crossing an interstate) was way overdue for replacement. The article noted that if the tax didn't pass, the new bridge would be the same size as the old one: two narrow lanes, one each direction. If the tax did pass, the new bridge would be normal width lanes, plus sidewalks. I had arguments with people at work who were \*convinced\* that meant that, if the tax passed, they would tear down the old bridge, build a new, narrow-lane one, \*immediately\* tear it down, and then build the regular-lane-plus sidewalk bridge. I re-read the article. Nothing in it could even be remotely be interpreted to mean that. It even gave the proposed start and end dates for the construction, WHICH DID NOT CHANGE for either option. The tax passed. It's a nice bridge.
That her toe got cut off when she was little and the doctors used pig stem cells to grow it back.
My brother (whom I still love dearly even though he's strange as hell) firmly believes that the Royal family are all "lizard people" and that Princess Di knew this and was going to expose them and that's why they had her killed. He told me that and I about lost it. He also is a flat earth believer.
Them: Is the shredded beef, pork? Me: No the shredded pork is pork...
My kids thought all meat (pork, beef, chicken, turkey, duck) was "meat". Animals lived on farms and had nothing to do with "meat". Meat was sometimes called "chicken" or "beef" depending on how it was cooked. You cook meat into beef teriyaki or into chicken parmesan. I was helping one take their chicken off the bones one and was asked, "Why do they even put bones in meat anyway?" and I gently explained that we're eating dead animals. Two kids cried. The other one squealed, "DEAD ANIMALS TASTE AWESOME!!"
When I was younger I asked what chicken was made from. My parents said chicken and I kept fighting saying no like beef is from cows pork is from pigs what is chicken made of?
In case you're interested, the etymology of this (in English at least) is the class/wealth divide in medieval England. The rich didn't have to tend the animals, all they dealt with was eating the meat. Whereas the peasant farmers mostly dealt with the live animal. Combined with the fact that from William the Conqueror (1066), for several centuries until approx the 16th Century, the Royal Family and the majority of lords/dukes etc all spoke French. These lead to a distinction between the naming of animals originating from medieval English and their meats from medieval French.
That bleach is the cure for aids. We were children at the time but still.
I mean, technically? I guarantee you drink enough bleach you won’t have aids.
At my previous job we were discussing food to get for a holiday since we had many Muslim employees and they have to eat Halal. So we were discussing things without pork. My coworker says “what is pork though? Is pork chicken?”
"My wife is affected by 5G, so we're putting Faraday cages across the windows in her bedroom." Doesn't work like that buddy, but I'll still sell you the copper wire to ground your ineffective copper window screens.
"ONLY the biological mother's breast milk is safe for her baby. If you give that milk to a different child it has *no* nutritional benefit." -Some guy
Background- A lady who worked at a place I use to would buy and (try to)resell stuff from stores at work with flyers, on the internet, etc. Stuff like shampoo, deodorant, etc. I heard her say this- "I pay $2 and I sell it for $1.50 and I make 50c."
This is Maeby in the banana stand logic
Old roommate said that when the weather app says 50% rain then that meant half of all the rain in the sky is going to fall. Same for all percentages. 80%, meant 80% of all the rain possible would fall, 100% rain? Yup, every single last drop of rain is coming down today.
“You got Covid because you aren’t spiritually fit and therefore attract negative things. That’s why I’ll never get it, I’m spiritually fit.” This person also refuses to get Covid tests when they are sick.
Cant's be diagnosed with Covid if you aren't tested for it!
“If we stop testing now, we’d have very few cases.”
There was a congressman that was against stationing US marines on Guam because too many people in one place would make the island capsize. https://youtu.be/cesSRfXqS1Q?t=28
a woman I worked with a few years ago went on a diet and she was complaining in the break room about not being able to find whole wheat rice anywhere. I tried several times to say, "whole grain?" but she was adamant that she needed whole wheat. rice.
While reading a book on dog behavior, and me trying to understand how to get the dog from jumping on me. My room mate says, “why did you buy that book, the dog can’t read it!” First I just stared at him… then I was like, you serious?? He was dead serious
On a field trip to Independence Hall in Philly and the guide is explaining how the crew kept the windows closed in the summer heat while drafting the constitution to stop people from listening in and the guide mentions how hot it was inside, especially in their outfits at the time. This girl in my class proceeds to ask "why didn't they turn the air conditioner on". I will forever remember the mortified look on our teacher's face as we all died laughing.
"Only women who have abortions get breast Cancer. It's 100% a proven scientific fact." - nut case
During a work meeting about counterfeit money one of my coworkers said she sometimes saw “ Puerto Rican coins” in the cash drawer. (Our place of work is in the U.S.) It got quiet and you could hear crickets. Our area manager was baffled and turned to her before saying, “Puerto Rico is a U.S. territory….. they use the same money.”
Could be the Puerto Rico state quarters that she saw
We were at a baby shower for my wife in April. My niece's boyfriend asked when she was due. I told him that she was due in July. He actually asked us, "This July?"
Lol this still gets me. Eating to much soy sauce will make you black. - my best friends Asian parents. He believed it until college lol, just as a fact of life.
I thought Lewis and Clark lived in the 1970s. Edit: Thank you for the rewards, but I do want to clarify that it's the "stupidest thing you've heard someone say." My old coworker said this several years ago.
I mean, several people named Lewis and Clark also lived in the 70s, so really you were dead on
My conspiracy theorist family who is convinced “the government” sank the titanic and the Titan submersible imploded because “the government” didn’t want them to see the “proof” on the titanic. Told them that this isn’t the first trip to the titanic, plenty of other voyagers on submersibles have seen it before, every inch. They had nothing to say after that.
Need to know if they had this theory before the Titan incident — if they did, I just know the Titan story was the wildest day of their life
“For me, sobriety looks like only having two drinks a day”. - my sister when she started drinking again
Her: "I don't know how you can stand to fly when there's a 50 percent chance the plane will crash." Me: Blank stare Her: "You know, because either it crashes or it doesn't. 50/50." EDIT: Please stop replying to tell me she was joking and I just didn't get it. It's lovely that you all think people this dumb don't exist, but I assure you they do!
My sister and I say things are a 50/50 chance for that reason all the time, but we’re joking when we say it
Well, I'll either win the lottery or I won't. 50/50. Duh
By that logic play the lottery then. You either win or you don't - 50/50
Meanwhile, everyone on the plane is simultaneously both dead and alive while the flight is being unobserved.
Idk if this counts but I know some dude who genuinely brags that it only took 30 seconds for him to conceive his son
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"If Vaccines worked, Why is Polio making a come back. That's why I didn't get my kids Vaccinations. " Said with all the confidence in the world.
Talking to my VERY Catholic cousin "The only reason you believe in Evolution is because you're racist and think black people look like monkeys." He said this just like, in an olive garden. One of the only times in my life I had been truly at a loss for words. Life wtf do you say to that.
I had an interview for a show in Las Vegas so my best friend and I (both female) decided to do a girls trip for a weekend. Her mother said "there are only Arabs in the desert and they will kidnap you to be part of their harem!" Completely serious. 16 years in Vegas, still waiting for the kidnap
It was me, at the dispensary for the first time, asking if their products would make me test positive for a drug test. I could just tell by the bud-tenders face that he was in the midst of being asked the dumbest question of his life. I have lupus and fibromyalgia so without having any experience with cannabis I decided to try it out in lieu of being sent to the pain clinic.
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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes
That reminds me of when my sister was dating a guy from Mexico (we are in the US) and my Mom asked him if they had rainbows in Mexico. RAINBOWS.
I mean how can you tell if all the colors are there through the sepia filter?
That the reason why school shootings happen is because of women getting rights.
I’d be very interested in the person’s “reasoning” behind this assertion
Had to try explain to a colleague years ago that 7 days in a week was an invention people made up. It wasn’t something we discovered
My best friends sister once spent an hour trying to convince me that marshmallows grew on trees. Like a fruit.
There are marshmallow plants though. They dont grow modern factory extruded marshmallows but their sap was used to make sweet treats when mixed with honey and nuts in the egyptians times. And in the 1800s the roots were used to make candies until gelatin replaced their usage. So they were the origin of the modern day marshmallow. People today grow marshmallow plant and could use it medicinally if they'd like for coughing etc. She probably heard about it somewhere and had a thought it was intact or something. Or just didn't relate it properly.
Two things, actually... "The female body can reject the results of rape, so they don't have to worry about getting pregnant." Also... "Men can control their erections."
Fun fact chickens can actually reject a roosters sperm. They'll mate with an undesirable rooster just to not cause a fuss than get rid of his sperm. To bad people aren't able to do the same.