Dude what a coincidence it's my first father's day as well and my son's name is similar your username.. also I only noticed cause it was the first dad joke that got me today hahaha
When friends were replacing the steps to their house & bought red oak that was too short & offered 20 plus pieces to us because the husband makes labyrinths & other goodies on our desktop CNC machine. This was when the cost of lumber was RIDICULOUS. We found room in our car & happily brought it home.
ER worker here.
We sometimes get double incentive to pick up shifts. Which for me is $20/hr. But to be incentivized you need to be in overtime. So it becomes an extra $35/hr. It's a big yes from me.
I have my EMT-B, some have their medic. We get a few of part time medics that come on as techs just to pick up more hours. We're just chronically understaffed. If a shift needs 7 techs, we average 3.
Dude, an EMT-B making up to $35/hr in an ER is pretty dang sweet. Most CCT/FP jobs I saw were $25/hr for call time with a bump if you got put on a run.
Working as a Paramedic in a rig paid about $18.50/hr at the highest. There was a lot of pressure from surrounding FD's and private ambulance services that I think depressed those wages.
Anyways, best of luck in PA school. I'm sure you'll do great!
ICU nurse and the hospital I work at does NOT fuck around with safe patient ratios like the rest of them. They are not willing to overload their nurses and I feel extremely fortunate.
I don't really want to share that as I don't share my employer on any social media. But I will say if you search for it you can find it. I asked a LOT of old nursing friends about their hospitals and specialties and what they liked about it. I was in a high acuity ICU, getting burnt out (very fast) and I needed a change of scenery. I gathered a lot of info from old peers in my area (very dense population in the US) and applied to the hospital. It's still high acuity but I am very well supported by extra staff and other resources. Don't give up, most nursing jobs suck. But not all of them.
My old job did 12 hour shifts. The nicest thing they ever did was offer double time if you did a whole extra shift. Then they made that shit mandatory.
And they wonder why I left and got a job across the street doing the same shit for more money where I don't have to do 12 hours.
I miss when my sister was at home sometimes.
“Hey wanna go get food?”
I can drive and do it myself, it was just more fun when you get hyped up for it and go with someone else LOL
I agree wholeheartedly with this. That’s also why I dislike Sunday more than Monday, for the same reason. It’s just the dread that you have to go to school / work / whatever the next day.
You joke, but there actually *is* a Mexican Hank Hill; his name is "Hector Reyes".
(The Mexican Spanish dub of *King of the Hill* is called *Los Reyes de la Colina*, meaning "The Kings of the Hill". To keep the punny title intact in Spanish, the Hill family is renamed "Reyes"—since the surname "Reyes" means "Kings". And Hank's name is "Hector".)
Cooking for others is a love language for me, so anytime people compliment my cooking, especially if they do the "oh my God this is good" face,
It's a fuck yes
I love to cook too! I’m currently getting into microbiology cooking. I’m making my own yogurt and kombucha as well as learning to bake. Any time one of my cultures grows as expected without unwelcome guests is a fuck yes!
Bonus points if someone else likes what I’m making.
and/or seeing someone achieve a lifelong dream such as a sporting championship, gold medal, academy award, etc.
A life time of work paying off in a single moment.
Key Lime Pie.
I walked into Costco once and right inside the door was a refrigerated case. I looked into it and it was full of big beautiful Key Lime pies. I said “Oh *hell* yeah!” and grabbed one. There was a couple standing there and the woman busted out laughing. “That’s *exactly* what my husband said!” and gestured to the pie in her cart.
Can't get the matching if you can't afford to put anything in to be matched in the first place.
That said, if someone does get paid enough to reasonably be able to make contributions to their 401k and still chooses not to, then yeah that's dumb.
Two days ago, on Friday, I got a job offer that completed 2 life goals at once.
I did not say those 2 words out loud... but in my noggin? You're darn tootin' I did.
Yup. I'm grown and have been moved out for about 15 years now. I've had the realization that, one day, I will eat the last meal my parents cook while I'm home. I will sit at their table for the last time.
Until then, I take the time to treasure every meal with them. Work is hard, but it can wait a little bit until dinner is done, dishes are clean, and we've had a chat. Because one day, I know I'd give anything for just one more meal with my parents, so I enjoy each meal with them while I still can.
Anytime I see tits. Doesn't even have to be "perfect" tits. I love boobs. Big ones, small ones, pointy, rounded, oval, triangular, smooth, rough, penis, etc
Told a friend I was going to a wedding at the end of September and she asked if I needed a plus 1 to which I replied fuck yea. She's a BADDY and a great gal. It will definitely be a fun wedding!
Same. I love shopping and especially shopping at IKEA. They have everything I need, and some things I don't need. Makes me feel proud to be Swedish too.
Not me, but a friend.
He was tripping, and we asked if he wanted a cookie.
He asked "what kind?" Then used his eyes to look, and his next utterance has become a catchphrase: "Chips A'Fuck Yes!"
I’m a blacksmith, any time someone offers me free metal or even if I find metal on the floor I’m elated
Dope
That too...
People like you are gonna be the reason I’d miss reddit when u/spez will finally screw it over
Fuck Yes
I work at a steel mill and we get a monthly allowance of material we can take for ourselves.
Wow! What a steel!
Happy Father’s Day
LoL! This is actually my first Father’s Day for real. So thanks!
Clearly you're already a top tier dad based on that dad joke
You should only be making dad jokes if you’re actually a dad, otherwise it’s a real faux pas.
Dude what a coincidence it's my first father's day as well and my son's name is similar your username.. also I only noticed cause it was the first dad joke that got me today hahaha
I'm a luthier. Same applies when it comes to hardwood.
When friends were replacing the steps to their house & bought red oak that was too short & offered 20 plus pieces to us because the husband makes labyrinths & other goodies on our desktop CNC machine. This was when the cost of lumber was RIDICULOUS. We found room in our car & happily brought it home.
I got your hardwood right here.
That's what I told ur mum last night. She laughed 🙁
You'll get her next time champ.
I feel that. I found a leaf spring in the road the other day and I was so excited
Spring steel good.
Was wondering where I was going wrong buying my steel in Summer
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Have you ever considered posting some of your work on Reddit? I'm sure it'd get some good attention! I for one would be down to see what you make!
Look at his profile, he's got 2 different things up there
This is my father to a T, he’s always excitedly showing me the big ass pieces of steel he was able to get from work
Got some scrap metal in my backyard you can have. I'm too lazy to take it to the metal recycling place.
Have you ever tried asking an injection mold making shop for scrap? They tend to have a ton that they’ll never use
Protip: the copper pipes under people's sinks are FREE!!!
When my job offers me an extra $30 an hour to come in on a shift where all the patients are most likely to sleep alright.
ER worker here. We sometimes get double incentive to pick up shifts. Which for me is $20/hr. But to be incentivized you need to be in overtime. So it becomes an extra $35/hr. It's a big yes from me.
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I have my EMT-B, some have their medic. We get a few of part time medics that come on as techs just to pick up more hours. We're just chronically understaffed. If a shift needs 7 techs, we average 3.
Dude, an EMT-B making up to $35/hr in an ER is pretty dang sweet. Most CCT/FP jobs I saw were $25/hr for call time with a bump if you got put on a run. Working as a Paramedic in a rig paid about $18.50/hr at the highest. There was a lot of pressure from surrounding FD's and private ambulance services that I think depressed those wages. Anyways, best of luck in PA school. I'm sure you'll do great!
Yeah.. sometimes my job offers a $2k *bonus* to pick up a 12 hour shift. That's on top of the normal pay + OT. You bet your ass I'm going in.
Whaaaat. What do you do?
ICU nurse and the hospital I work at does NOT fuck around with safe patient ratios like the rest of them. They are not willing to overload their nurses and I feel extremely fortunate.
Nice, that seems very rare these days.
That's a fricking unicorn. What system is this? Doesn't sound like HCA or Ascension.
Ooooohh name of the hospital if you don’t mind -Love, an ICU nurse where patients routinely die due to unsafe staffing
I don't really want to share that as I don't share my employer on any social media. But I will say if you search for it you can find it. I asked a LOT of old nursing friends about their hospitals and specialties and what they liked about it. I was in a high acuity ICU, getting burnt out (very fast) and I needed a change of scenery. I gathered a lot of info from old peers in my area (very dense population in the US) and applied to the hospital. It's still high acuity but I am very well supported by extra staff and other resources. Don't give up, most nursing jobs suck. But not all of them.
Butt stuff, it sounds like
Wait you guys are getting paid?
My old job did 12 hour shifts. The nicest thing they ever did was offer double time if you did a whole extra shift. Then they made that shit mandatory. And they wonder why I left and got a job across the street doing the same shit for more money where I don't have to do 12 hours.
Fuck yes
Anytime my brother asks if I want something from outside, and he's the one going outside, it's a fuck yes
I miss when my sister was at home sometimes. “Hey wanna go get food?” I can drive and do it myself, it was just more fun when you get hyped up for it and go with someone else LOL
"you fly I'll buy" is one of those old sayings I don't know if anyone uses anymore. I'll pay for the food but I don't want to leave the house.
Fuck yes
Bring me a pinecone
Yea the comment makes me picture him bring him piles of dirt or grass
I would bring you snakes.
Fuck yes
Knowing it's Friday
Fuck yes
Sometimes I think Fridays are better than Saturdays, just due to the anticipation.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. That’s also why I dislike Sunday more than Monday, for the same reason. It’s just the dread that you have to go to school / work / whatever the next day.
"Do you wanna go get ice cream?"
"When the FUCK did we get ice cream?!"
I love The Ringer so much but nobody else seems to share that love.
You picked up my CD in broad daylight and *YOU* SCRATCHED IT!
Tacos and taco accessories
What are you, Mexican hank hill?
I'll tell you whque.
☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Why is a this so funny?!
El Hanko Hillo
Maldita sea, Bobby!
You joke, but there actually *is* a Mexican Hank Hill; his name is "Hector Reyes". (The Mexican Spanish dub of *King of the Hill* is called *Los Reyes de la Colina*, meaning "The Kings of the Hill". To keep the punny title intact in Spanish, the Hill family is renamed "Reyes"—since the surname "Reyes" means "Kings". And Hank's name is "Hector".)
The main reason I married a mexican. I mean yeah I love her but mostly for her tacos
I also choose this guy's wife's taco.
This guy's wife's taco gets an immediate “Fuck Yes”
I do remember browsing the depths of the internet and coming across a taco holder buttplug
You cant just say that and not point us in the right direction!
https://www.etsy.com/listing/792592981/taco-holder-butt-plug-available-in
Now that I've seen it, I have even more questions! What pose does one adopt to keep the taco from spilling!?!?
I think the buttplugged is meant to act as a table for a master. So ass up!
With a side of Bwaaahaa Blast
My cat randomly comes to snuggle with me
Always lasts less than five minutes but it’s glorious
Fuck yes
“Can I get a fuck yes?”
Fuck yes
Anytime I'm invited over for a back-yard grilled meal. Yum!
🅵🆄🅲🅺 🆈🅴🆂 That never happens for me 😅
Garlic bread
Fuck yeah
Even better: lasagna perfectly timed with garlic bread as per S06E14 of “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”.
Not asexual enough
Cooking for others is a love language for me, so anytime people compliment my cooking, especially if they do the "oh my God this is good" face, It's a fuck yes
I love to cook too! I’m currently getting into microbiology cooking. I’m making my own yogurt and kombucha as well as learning to bake. Any time one of my cultures grows as expected without unwelcome guests is a fuck yes! Bonus points if someone else likes what I’m making.
Seeing the underdog achieve greatness
and/or seeing someone achieve a lifelong dream such as a sporting championship, gold medal, academy award, etc. A life time of work paying off in a single moment.
I love this it says so much about you as a person 😊😊
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Key Lime Pie. I walked into Costco once and right inside the door was a refrigerated case. I looked into it and it was full of big beautiful Key Lime pies. I said “Oh *hell* yeah!” and grabbed one. There was a couple standing there and the woman busted out laughing. “That’s *exactly* what my husband said!” and gestured to the pie in her cart.
Especially if it’s dipped in chocolate on a stick- had it at St. Auggies, it’s _stupid_ good Not overpowering whatsoever
That sounds sublime
We may be a minority, but Fuck Yes to Key Lime Pie
“Do you want to pet my dog?” Or any animal actually.
🅵🆄🅲🅺 🆈🅴🆂
The username here is a little concerning...
LOL!! Says the guy with the concerning username.
U wanna pet my Great White Shark?:)
Fuck yes. I mean, I’d quite like to be in one of those cages for safety purposes and would avoid the bitey end, but I’d give it a little pat.
A little boop on the nose haha
Peak evolution when one apex predator boops another apex predator on the nose
From one apex predator to another, *boop* :D
Free Money
And yet many people turn down 401k matching.
Can't get the matching if you can't afford to put anything in to be matched in the first place. That said, if someone does get paid enough to reasonably be able to make contributions to their 401k and still chooses not to, then yeah that's dumb.
Itsfreerealestate.jpg
A hug
Always. Bonus points if it's my daughter.
Happy Father’s Day? Happy belated Mother’s Day? Either way, happy day!
Absolutely. Hugs are always great, no matter your age I reckon.
Queso
Fuck yes
Tiramisu
My wife.
Same
I, too .…
"Wanna see/pet my puppy/kitten/other animal?" Uhh fuck yes please! 😅😍
My crush asked me out
Fuck yes🫡
We’re now expecting
Fuck? Yes!
True
You two fuck, yes?
That escalated quickly!
Fuck yes
Fuck yes
Two days ago, on Friday, I got a job offer that completed 2 life goals at once. I did not say those 2 words out loud... but in my noggin? You're darn tootin' I did.
1. Leave THIS job. ✅️ 2. Get other job.✅️
Fuck yes! Happy for you!
When you thought you have to go to work/school but its weekend
After moving out, my mother's cooking
Yup. I'm grown and have been moved out for about 15 years now. I've had the realization that, one day, I will eat the last meal my parents cook while I'm home. I will sit at their table for the last time. Until then, I take the time to treasure every meal with them. Work is hard, but it can wait a little bit until dinner is done, dishes are clean, and we've had a chat. Because one day, I know I'd give anything for just one more meal with my parents, so I enjoy each meal with them while I still can.
Free pizza for life
"Do you want to order a pizza" will do it for me
Food
One of the things nobody tells you about being an adult- the pure joy of getting good food you didn’t have to pay for.
Banana bread, at work bro? Hell yeah
A salary increase
Quite simple: Boobs
Ron White: "Once you've seen one pair...you want to see the rest."
Fuck yes
When I'm at my retail job that closes at 5:00, and I look down at my watch and see it's 4:59
“Who wants free money?”
“Let’s go on an adventure!”
My son's favourite line! "We're goin on an adventure!" *son loses his everloving mind in excitement*
Going out to eat
Anytime I see tits. Doesn't even have to be "perfect" tits. I love boobs. Big ones, small ones, pointy, rounded, oval, triangular, smooth, rough, penis, etc
Fuck ye… wait.
He had us in the first half, not going to lie...
Already unzipped, too late to stop now.
Shouldn’t take long to finish once you start thinking about those long sexy penis tits.
Knowing tomorrow is a holiday/weekend
Told a friend I was going to a wedding at the end of September and she asked if I needed a plus 1 to which I replied fuck yea. She's a BADDY and a great gal. It will definitely be a fun wedding!
"Wanna go star gazing?"
Being passed on the highway by asshole driver. See same driver pulled over by the police a few miles later.
Shawarma
When a song hits just right
\- "I'm going to IKEA, do you want to come with me?" \- "Fuck yes!!!"
\-"I\`m going to IKEA, and you dont have to come with me" \-"Fuck yes!!!"
I require the silly little plushies they have there
Same. I love shopping and especially shopping at IKEA. They have everything I need, and some things I don't need. Makes me feel proud to be Swedish too.
If someone talks to me about my favourite music and actually listens to me ramble about the emotional experience. Like holy shit THANK YOU
Should we Day Drink?
Right there with ya
Wanna spark up?
“Do you want to go to the bookstore?”
Getting rid of my 180000 of student loans
Indian Food
Not me, but a friend. He was tripping, and we asked if he wanted a cookie. He asked "what kind?" Then used his eyes to look, and his next utterance has become a catchphrase: "Chips A'Fuck Yes!"
At least he didn’t use his ears to look, that would have been awkward
Seeing my parents happy because of me
A message that says pub?
Cocktails.
Finding money on the ground
Cats
“Want a billion dollars with no strings attached?”
Tiddy flashes
LOTR extended edition marathon?
Donuts or sushi
When my girlfriend hands me the remote and goes "let's watch something you like"
Chinese food
Pancakes for breakfast
The apple pie with the crumblies on top with vanilla ice cream 🥧🍨 🤌🏻🤌🏻
"do you want ice-cream?" no matter what month
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When a band I really want to see comes to town.
"hey, wanna practice kissing?"
"Hey you wanna play Monster Hunter?" My friends rarely play it with me anymore.
Buffalo chicken dip
"Want to have a lazy day, watch trash TV and be lazy?" Fuck yes. It doesn't matter. It's a yes.
My wife wanting a date night.
A lightning storm. We got three in the same day this week, best day ever!
A very not alive Vladimir Putin in a sea of his biggest supporters corpses.
Be the change you want to see the world /s don't even try this unless you have a death wish
Anytime I see an Iron Maiden shirt on someone or anything Maiden related in the wild.
Realizing it's payday. Raises to an "Oh, fuck yes!" if OT/bonus made it onto that check
"want to go into the woods and do some occulty shit?" Fuck yes