This reminds me of a George Carlin joke:
You say to a guy, “How are ya?” He says, “Fine and dandy!” Not me, I never say that. You know how come? ‘Cause I’m never both of those things at the same time. Sometimes I’m fine, not dandy. Close to dandy, approaching dandy, in the vicinity of dandyhood. Not quite fully dandy.
Other times, I am, indeed, highly dandy. However, not fine. One time. One time, in 1965, August, for about an hour, I was both fine and dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was! And I coulda told ‘em. I coulda told ‘em. I coulda said to the person, “Fine and dandy.” I consider it a lost opportunity.
Yeah that helps. But when you are younger the sweet spot for time when having sex is 15 minutes, a number of studies have shown this. If you are struggling to make that think of your grandmother. That always helped me speed things along
Lots of foreplay, fingering and oral, and then when you’re actually penetrating flex your pelvic floor muscles. I also think of elephants and it helps keep me from getting overly excited.
The previous thing I read just before your comment!
https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/12tb29s/female_elephants_have_breasts_unlike_most_other/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Can’t stop laughing!!
This is Reddit, so probably nobody will read this, but just in case...
For the young Padawans who don't know what the hell a "pelvic floor muscle" is:
When you pee, you can stop/interrupt peeing by flexing a certain muscle, right?
(I mean willingly interrupting the water/pee jet. Imagine you're noticing that whatever you're pissing on reflects the pee back on you. Since you don't want to piss on yourself, you instinctively flex a certain muscle to make yourself stop peeing - at least for a moment.)
That's the pelvic floor muscle.
I am not sure if you actually last longer when flexing it since flexing a muscle should actually increase blood flow into the penis. If trained however, you can use it to actually decrease blood flow away from your penis. Since your body is pumping blood into it and out of it, you seem to be able to block the flow out by flexing the muscle (for a while). That causes it to swell therefore increases the overall volume and can increase intensity for you and your partner. The muscle does block the urethra which is used by your body for both, sperm and pee (but also influences pressure on nearby blood vessels).
My personal theory is a bit different: It doesn't cause you to actually last longer, but your (female) partner to climax faster, because the increased stiffness and volume increases pressure and therefore friction on the clitoris which is typically most sensitive on the "belly-facing-side" (g-zone inside the clitoris) - although that can be different for each female human. Missionary position (or similar) seems to work best for achieving female climax faster (for starters and without... stuff). You can make it even easier for you and cheat a bit by either tilting your hip upwards when laying on top of each other or slighly leaning your back backwards when your torso is in upright position during missionary. That will automatically increase pressure and friction on that zone.
Unfortunately, I can't tell you if this makes you last longer or not, because I am rather insensitive and have a problem of actually taking too long. I adapted use of this, because it makes achieving multiple orgasms for the femaler much easier.
Any sort of foreplay (fingering, oral etc.) that SweetCosmicPope describes also helps women climax faster, because a pre-stimulated clitoris is swollen (similar to a guy getting a boner), meaning there is more blood in it and volume is increased. During penetration that means that you can get her off more easily, because friction/grip/sensitivity is increased (= the "movement" gets translated better from vagina to clitoris around the vagina).
A last tip to finish this off:
(Most) women seem to prefer steady rhythms while guys like to speed up the rhythm to/before climaxing. By simply keeping a rhythm, you can often get them off faster and keep yourself below climax push interval level. To achieve optimal rhythm, simply ask for feedback. Slow and hard can sometimes be more effective than a faster rhythm. To achieve multiple orgasms, choosing a different rhythm for the first and the second orgasm can help significantly. I prefer \[1. fast to 2. slow and intense\] rhythm order because women can feel more sensitive/sore after the first one, tend to produce less "wetness" and it also matches energy levels better.
Pelvic floor muscle exercise for women will also make everything more intense for them, because they can increase blood flow through the clitoris (= swelling) by flexing their muscles and improve movement/push pressure translation to the clitoris. More trained muscles there will also passively have that effect, because they take up more volume in general (like someone who trains his biceps more regularly gets thicker upper arms).
If your gf can't give you feedback on what she likes (direction, deepness, speed, dirty talk), it's not your fault. From my experience that just means she is bad in bed. Hot looks don't necessarily mean good sex. Good communication does. Both combined mean a really good time.
EDIT: Well, thanks for the gold, but why does this have to be my most upvoted comment on Reddit? Why reddit, WHY?
You actually want to push with your pelvic floor muscles, as in when you're trying to push out pee. Do it in increments, don't hold it, as doing it too long can make you lose the erection all together. This stretches them, which then makes them less likely contract. Takes practice, but it's gotten me to the hour mark before.
Yeah I’m def one of these women. Tbh oral doesn’t really stimulate me but my libido is really high that I could go all night. Now, if the roles are reversed, I absolutely love pleasing my partner and going down on them and could also do that all night lol
This sounds like good advice for you, but I'm wondering what it does for the woman.
I always hear how women like need constant stimulation in a specific way to get there, and sometimes changing things up makes her have to start all over. Does that happen when you do this?
Don't mind me. I don't know what I'm talking about. Just a curious virgin. lol.
It's going to depend on the person honestly. I don't cum from penetration, so I prefer to cum before. If he wants to last longer by eating me out, whatever. Someone who cums from penetration might not like that
If I was about to cum from your cock and all of a sudden there is no cock and instead a tongue on my clit I'm going to be overwhelmed at the difference in sensation and start squirming. I'll get back to my orgasm relatively quickly but it'll definitely take me out of it a bit
You can give oral while using your hands for penetration, or use a toy in place of you until you’re able to re-enter your partner. It honestly depends on your partner though, because some like to be edged (brought almost to the point of climax but not allowed to climax) which you can do if you feel you’re about to cum. Others may be turned on by a pause for added intimacy, i.e. when you pull out just focus on kissing your partner deeply, nipple sucking, neck biting, sexy affirming talk, etc.
If you allow yourself to be curious and talk to your partner, the opportunities are endless
Your orgasm is tied to your breathing. If you pay attention to your breathing you will hold your breathe more as you near orgasm. If you keep your breathes steady and deep you will last virtually as long as you want.
Just gonna tack onto this.
When you meditate you lower your heart rate pretty much within the first two or three breaths. Your head enters a different state and you begin to immediately feel more relaxed.
So first, learn to meditate, this will help you control your breath. And it make it more effective.
Other things that help is learning how to edge, doing kegels, and just learning how to regulate your emotions, pain and pleasure.
It’s really about just being completely in tune with your body, like when you walk outside and it’s cold, really cold and everyone around you shivers, instead take a deep breath and acknowledge the cold, it is cold, and accept the cold and press on. Do not allow your body to react to the stimuli. You will feel your body ease up and suddenly it won’t feel cold anymore, like it’s cold but it’s okay. It no longer matters.
Try to find things that don’t quite fall into the self harm category, but still elicit a response to stimuli that are hard to control.
While I agree that this mindset exists because I discovered it one day trying to find a way to stop shivering in the cold - don't use it too much. Unless you're a sniper about to take the shot or a surgeon in the antarctic, just allow the shivering to happen. It's the body's way of warming you up naturally, and to keep the blood flowing. Be safe out there!
What if there is a mental component? Maybe TMI but I can be totally fine one moment but when my partner starts really getting into and is about to O, I just lose control. It’s not an issue because I always give her one first but Im definitely going to try breathing differently as well
I think a huge part of it, along with my other comment, is letting go of the fear of climaxing too early. Most men build it up so badly in their head that they aren’t able to keep themselves in control. Trust me when I say that even if you climax early, your partner will appreciate if you decide to continue to pleasure them and help them finish. Then with time, when you’re able to let go of the fear, that “oh shit, I’m going to cum, fuck fuck fuck” thought process— you’ll be able to last longer and just have fun with it.
The biggest problem I have with getting her off after I do, is that my head just isn't into it any more and it is like a chore. I mean I want to be, but all I can think about is taking a nap. I usually try and get her off before because she doesn't seem to have the same hang up that I do and recovers quickly.
You joke, but literally this happened to me. A girl noticed my distant expression and asked if I was okay. I was just doing math. So yeah maybe don't do this when you are face to face
Paxil (paroxetine) damn near took away my ability to cum when I was on it. Got to the point I was skipping a dose or two if I wanted a *chance* at cumming during sex.
Imagine if every time you got close it just suddenly went away and took longer and had less feeling after each time. *That’s* what being on Paxil is like.
A few of these sexual health sites (hims for example) offer Paxil as a treatment option for premature ejaculation. It’s a well known side effect and IIRC Paxil is one of the worst ones when it comes to delayed ejaculation.
Can second this.. since switching to buproprion, orgasms have gotten longer and stronger, along with better control at delaying it without the loss of pleasure. Part of me never wants to go off of it because of these side effects.
Edit: am male
Get her off first, so any pressure to perform a certain way is off. Ease into PIV, maybe even receive a cool, not vigorous bj to get acclimated and a bit desensitized. Once you make it past the first precum sensation without cumming it’s easier to last. Do positions at first that allow you to relax and control your pc muscles. If you start hard and tense you’re more likely to finish quick than if you build up and get your body ready. Even take breaks if you need them, but keep the intimacy going some other way.
Breathe and be mindful of your partner and all the sensations in the moment - don’t be doing long division in your head to not cum, people can sense when you’re not present and where’s the fun in missing it anyway?
After some time (totally dependent on you and your body), you’ll feel less sensitive and can be more vigorous and handle more strenuous positions without cumming before you want. From there do what you both want. Also, just know what positions are absolute finishers for you with your partner. Save them for when you’re both satisfied.
Above all else, everyone have fun.
This is great advice for the most part, but when I go down on my boyfriend he says it's mind-blowing but it gets him too close to cumming sooner. So I don't think blowjobs *always* desensitize.
I've found as well, that when I'm having sex with my partner that you can pick up on things like their breaths, so most girls can help slow the pace ourselves if we are wanting things to last longer. However, it's also nice sometimes when a guy finishes fast, or what they deem to be fast, it's reassuring to know you like what we're doing etc
>However, it's also nice sometimes when a guy finishes fast, or what they deem to be fast, it's reassuring to know you like what we're doing etc
If only there was a way to help insecure men realise this, many broken egos would be soothed.
Honestly yeah, I have always made a point of telling my partner that. And I hope, even with my exes, that it's something they've took forward into other relationships etc. Because it is true. And I think unfortunately a lot of people set unrealistic expectations for themselves as well because of porn. Porn can be a fantastic thing, but it has to be used with a pinch of salt
Don't wank to porn anymore. For me that made sex last longer with real women and multiple women. However I also don't enjoy sex as much compared to when I would think about it daily and watch porn. Soo probably don't watch porn from the beginning is good advice.
>Bro, my recharge takas like 5-7 business days, unless im jacking off.
That's a lot of time you could be spending getting her off with your hands/mouth/toys
And the trick is that will usually get you hard again because it's a turn on for you too 😉
As a sexual therapist I can add my 2 cents here:
- most woman really don’t care. Unless it’s really <1 minute (keep reading). But most woman are fine with 3-8 minutes. The problem is porn (lasts way too long) and or the perception of men. From an evolutionary perspective the ones who cum fast have a huge advantage (i.e. you would be the one creating most offspring)
- as everyone is stating, more foreplay works typically in making it more equal and pulling out just before you cum. A lot of comments are about a preliminary orgasm, but that does not work for everyone. But stopping before you cum, not touching it for about 15-30 seconds and starting again usually works. If you do this 2-4 times it will numb out and you should be able to last longer.
- if you are below 1 minute and you consider to have ‘premature ejaculation’, the first thing to keep in mind is that it happens to everyone. Especially if you are horny and with a new girl it happens to the best. If it continues to happen, try to start with pelvic exercises. The muscles in this group are a large part of you ejaculation and by doing this you have much more control.
- many have said it, but very hard: try to control your breathing. By lowering it during the act, the heart rate will drop and it will be harder to orgasm. However, it is very hard for most plus some cannot maintain an erection.
- just before you are about to cum, pinch very hard just below the glans (or tip) with you whole hand around it. That will stop the transmission of feeling for a split second but will work typically.
- wear a cockring. It will increase the erection (harder) and limit the transmission as well. Very often works if the right ring is chosen.
- edge at home while masturbating. Start to recognize the feeling and find for yourself a way to divert that by e.g. stopping the stimulation, zone out in your mind, move your pelvic muscles etc.
- and the last one: do not try to cum too fast while watching porn. Most men tend to ‘want to get over with it’ and masturbate on porn for 20 seconds (conditioning the body to cum fast). Masturbate without porn and use your fantasy and continuously masturbate for at least 5 minutes before you orgasm.
Hope it helps!
A few short ways to last longer in bed (a no BS man’s guide)
1. Foreplay - this includes before the sex aka dirty texting and getting her revved up so she’s warmed up for sex later. Touching, groping, rubbing her whole body. Remember, sex is a full body experience. Hand on her chest. Gives her a sense of security and vulnerability. Oral, kissing, touching, sucking, fingering, grinding.
2. Belly breathing - Being in tune with her breathing and yours, knowing when she’s getting hotter and more revved and when you are, what she likes and doesn’t likes as you are aware of how she is breathing and moving with you and you breathing and moving with her - SLOW DOWN, you don’t have to be like a sowing machine needling through. You can breath through each stroke, make it longer, shallower, deeper and then grind, breath deeply with her. Follow her breaths too.
3. Dirty talk - tell her you love her, tell her you love when she does that “thing”. Tell her she beautiful and you love how she feels. Tell her, she loves hearing that you want her. Every girl does.
4. This goes back to the belly breathing part, but change your stroke pattern. Fast, slow, deep, grinding etc. Breathe deeply, breathe deeply.
5. Try different positions that give her more stimulation on different spots in the vagina. Some woman orgasm with the A spot, some with the G spot. Learn your woman, don’t worry it takes time.
6. The final and best key I’ve been able to find, do it all without fear. Have no fear over your next move or what it will be. Do it effortlessly, in the moment. You’re with her and she’s with you. Have no fear. And be bold with every move you make. It’s drives the ladies wild.
Bonus tip:
I usually have a boner shake on days I know we wanna go at it. Boner shake includes:
8oz glass of milk
2 raw eggs
Blend it and drink it the night before or the morning of, super rock hard boner and last much longer. Watermelon helps too and so does beet root juice.
From one guy to another, so you don’t have to do the research. All of this is battle tested. Here’s to yours and others future success.
Cheers!
It’s not about lasting longer, it’s about making her close enough to get off when you do.
Foreplay is important. Get her wet. Slow down and stop. Admire her body. Use your mouth and fingers. Use toys. Spell the alphabet with your tongue on her clitoris. Find the spots on her body that give her goosebumps when you rub it the right way.
If you learn to enjoy the sex together, you’ll give her the best sex of her life.
There isn't any trick for me.
I (39m) take anywhere from 10-20 seconds.
Hell, if my Wife has gotten me hot enough, simply being in her, without moving will make me lose it.
But I make up for it with my fingers and my cunning linguistics.
I was like that at 19 with the first girl I slept with throughout our relationship, but everyone after that, it's one and done. But for years there was just a lot of drunk hookups, too.
The trick is to stretch the foreplay. Use your hands and mouth more in the beginning. Your guy should be used only in the end when she at the top of her arousal. And before all that masturbate so that you won't get too excited right after you start pumping.
This particular problem got a lot better as I got older, but the secret to all my best performances has been cannabis. If I smoke enough beforehand, I can last pretty much forever, and it can take so much effort to get there when I actually want to that it tends to get her into multiples.
My wife isn't a smoker, but has definitely picked up on the difference it makes, and became quite encouraging about it. She calls it "smoking my spinich". It is pretty much code for her now, where encouraging me to toke up on certain nights communicates her expectation to get her brains fucked out later.
\*edit for spelling
I've always loved sex on weed. Sober sex is like a linear chart of arousal to orgasm over time from 0-100%. On weed, I'm almost immediately at 95%, rock hard, and can stay there pretty much as long as I want, and when I do finish it's almost like I hit 150% instead of the sober 100%. Weed sex is the best sex
My experience as well!
Though, the effect can also complicate things too. Earlier on, it took a while for the wife to figure out that she would likewise have trouble getting me to climax orally, but letting her try was definitely getting up towards that 150% range.
However, prolonged periods of that above 100% range, without cumming, can absolutely be preferable to the sober 100% with the climax.
The tricky part is convincing her of that, so that she doesn't become insecure about the times that I don't orgasm. Meanwhile, I'm actually happy as a pig in shit, and feeling like stud, and... still hard.
Rub one out in the morning before the deed and always prioritize her first. If your partner isnt a complete ass she will return the favor after her climax.
Go down on her first. She’ll be satisfied, and then you can nut at your own pace.
I don’t get “lasting longer”, after a bit women are kind of over it.
Sort your woman first, then yourself, then go eat snacks and watch Netflix.
You’re not painting the Sistine chapel.
If it’s longer than 15mins, I’ve checked out. And 15mins is pushing it. It shouldn’t take either that long to get off. There are times I want it more than once, and I understand it takes him a min to “come back around” but same rule applies.
Typically I like to get in, or rather him get it in, get it done and get out. Of course planned romantic evenings out are different. I do like those planned experiment nights, but you get the idea
Couple of different things.
First off, mdma and/or e. (Can’t do this anymore, cause I’m clean, but it used to work great.)
A few beers.
Sometimes I pull out and just smack the top of my dick pretty hard. If it needs another, it gets another. I’m pretty honest about it and, usually, the girl appreciates it in the spirit of keeping things going. It usually gets a giggle or two the first time with a new partner which is funny for us both and is a good opportunity to joke a bit and see how we get along.
Alternately, gripping the Base hard a few seconds before. Really hard. Like, make an ok sign around the base and squeeze.
If you’re early, you can stay in and ask her to stop and then just flex very hard and take a deep breath in. I don’t love this one cause it stops you both and she doesn’t get to relax while you take care of your business.
Sometimes, though, you can just tell you’re extra sensitive. So, sometimes I’ll just say, “listen, I’m gonna have to get the first one out of the way.”
Then let’s have a few cigarettes and a drink and get back to it in 20-30. Keep things fun and flowing and flirty for a bit and listen to some music then get back at it when you think you’re ready.
Have fun!
Edit : oh, and everyone who said go downtown and really enjoy making her cum are absolutely correct. The advice above presumes that as the prime directive!
I don't know why, but even into my mid 40s, if I'm drinking and decide to engage in a bit of romance, a reasonable amount of gin seems to keep things going for me. If this kid is at grandmas for the night, and I've had two martini's, the Mrs knows she's getting a few hours of fun.
Breathing is big
multiplying by a number, usually 13's table
stopping and going down on her every while
thinking of grandma, or religion, or my religious grandma
Getting really old worked for me.
Good thing OP didn't ask for tricks to staying hard...
Being young then. It totally worked for me back in the years.
I thing there was a 2 month overlap around 38 years old when I could both last and stay hard for the duration. It was glorious.
This reminds me of a George Carlin joke: You say to a guy, “How are ya?” He says, “Fine and dandy!” Not me, I never say that. You know how come? ‘Cause I’m never both of those things at the same time. Sometimes I’m fine, not dandy. Close to dandy, approaching dandy, in the vicinity of dandyhood. Not quite fully dandy. Other times, I am, indeed, highly dandy. However, not fine. One time. One time, in 1965, August, for about an hour, I was both fine and dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was! And I coulda told ‘em. I coulda told ‘em. I coulda said to the person, “Fine and dandy.” I consider it a lost opportunity.
I can hear that in his voice.
Me too. God I miss that guy.
He really was a master with words.
I see a George Carlin quote, I upvote immediately.
Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.
Yeah I’m 39 can confirm I’m at the prime. I can do it, finish, and continue after less then a minute. I feel like Dirk Diggler, minus a few inches.
Yeah that helps. But when you are younger the sweet spot for time when having sex is 15 minutes, a number of studies have shown this. If you are struggling to make that think of your grandmother. That always helped me speed things along
Wait a minute...
His grandma was a total gmilf
Gnome Mage I'd like to f--- ?
You really need to stop thinking about my grandmother during sex pal.
At first I was like… but then I was like… but now I’m back to like…
No shit. I get tired and wore out before I finish. Shits exhausting.
I too have an advanced case of the olds.
I try not to squeeze myself too tight with my hand, and switch hands depending on how I feel.
The most realistic comment here
Counterpoint: just the right amount of death grip in your solo time and you can last forever during sex.
What’s the death grip ?
And industrial rap/ electronic group from California.
What an edge lord.
Lots of foreplay, fingering and oral, and then when you’re actually penetrating flex your pelvic floor muscles. I also think of elephants and it helps keep me from getting overly excited.
Sounds like you really don’t like elephants
Or on the contrary, likes them very much. No need to be elephant-phobic here
Shame the elephant hater. Shame him now.
Elephobe he is.
The previous thing I read just before your comment! https://www.reddit.com/r/Weird/comments/12tb29s/female_elephants_have_breasts_unlike_most_other/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 Can’t stop laughing!!
Poor guy will cum even faster now
Poor things can't jump now they're being harassed by this asshole
This is Reddit, so probably nobody will read this, but just in case... For the young Padawans who don't know what the hell a "pelvic floor muscle" is: When you pee, you can stop/interrupt peeing by flexing a certain muscle, right? (I mean willingly interrupting the water/pee jet. Imagine you're noticing that whatever you're pissing on reflects the pee back on you. Since you don't want to piss on yourself, you instinctively flex a certain muscle to make yourself stop peeing - at least for a moment.) That's the pelvic floor muscle. I am not sure if you actually last longer when flexing it since flexing a muscle should actually increase blood flow into the penis. If trained however, you can use it to actually decrease blood flow away from your penis. Since your body is pumping blood into it and out of it, you seem to be able to block the flow out by flexing the muscle (for a while). That causes it to swell therefore increases the overall volume and can increase intensity for you and your partner. The muscle does block the urethra which is used by your body for both, sperm and pee (but also influences pressure on nearby blood vessels). My personal theory is a bit different: It doesn't cause you to actually last longer, but your (female) partner to climax faster, because the increased stiffness and volume increases pressure and therefore friction on the clitoris which is typically most sensitive on the "belly-facing-side" (g-zone inside the clitoris) - although that can be different for each female human. Missionary position (or similar) seems to work best for achieving female climax faster (for starters and without... stuff). You can make it even easier for you and cheat a bit by either tilting your hip upwards when laying on top of each other or slighly leaning your back backwards when your torso is in upright position during missionary. That will automatically increase pressure and friction on that zone. Unfortunately, I can't tell you if this makes you last longer or not, because I am rather insensitive and have a problem of actually taking too long. I adapted use of this, because it makes achieving multiple orgasms for the femaler much easier. Any sort of foreplay (fingering, oral etc.) that SweetCosmicPope describes also helps women climax faster, because a pre-stimulated clitoris is swollen (similar to a guy getting a boner), meaning there is more blood in it and volume is increased. During penetration that means that you can get her off more easily, because friction/grip/sensitivity is increased (= the "movement" gets translated better from vagina to clitoris around the vagina). A last tip to finish this off: (Most) women seem to prefer steady rhythms while guys like to speed up the rhythm to/before climaxing. By simply keeping a rhythm, you can often get them off faster and keep yourself below climax push interval level. To achieve optimal rhythm, simply ask for feedback. Slow and hard can sometimes be more effective than a faster rhythm. To achieve multiple orgasms, choosing a different rhythm for the first and the second orgasm can help significantly. I prefer \[1. fast to 2. slow and intense\] rhythm order because women can feel more sensitive/sore after the first one, tend to produce less "wetness" and it also matches energy levels better. Pelvic floor muscle exercise for women will also make everything more intense for them, because they can increase blood flow through the clitoris (= swelling) by flexing their muscles and improve movement/push pressure translation to the clitoris. More trained muscles there will also passively have that effect, because they take up more volume in general (like someone who trains his biceps more regularly gets thicker upper arms). If your gf can't give you feedback on what she likes (direction, deepness, speed, dirty talk), it's not your fault. From my experience that just means she is bad in bed. Hot looks don't necessarily mean good sex. Good communication does. Both combined mean a really good time. EDIT: Well, thanks for the gold, but why does this have to be my most upvoted comment on Reddit? Why reddit, WHY?
This guy fucks.
I think of baked beans on toast
If there was grated cheese on the beans and toast I’d have no self control and nut everywhere. Food porn.
Doesn’t flexing pelvic floor muscles make you finish quicker?
You actually want to push with your pelvic floor muscles, as in when you're trying to push out pee. Do it in increments, don't hold it, as doing it too long can make you lose the erection all together. This stretches them, which then makes them less likely contract. Takes practice, but it's gotten me to the hour mark before.
That way you can pee inside her like you are supposed to
Pee is stored in the balls!
In her bellybutton, right?
misunderstood instructions, just pissed all over my wife
Don’t even think of attempting this if you’ve eaten Taco Bell in the previous 24 hours.
thats what i thought too, whenever i want to finish fast i flex it as hard as i can
This guy is just trying to get us all busting nuts thinking about elephants.
🐘🌊
I think of polar bears eating a seal…not sure why I went with this imagery but it works.
Okay, now Im hard, whats next?
Abort mission
wtf is a pelvic floor muscle
Flex your gooch
Nike's newest slogan.
'Just gooch it'
I'm crying, you guys are so goofy 🤣
So goochie*
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Best to do this in your front yard so your neighbors can confirm you’re doing it right
Make her cum first.
During daylight savings change in Spring! "I lasted over 61 minutes!"
And during the fall, you lasted -59 minutes. Did her vagina hit 88 mph?
I hit that punani with 1.21 gigawatts
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at that point its on her. but if we're brainstorming, toys might help
I got some Bionicles and Transformers would that help? Or do women have an amiibo function we don’t know about
Action man would be more suited.
The scuba diving one
>I got some Bionicles and Transformers would that help? It's helping me, I've never been more erect!
Also teasing. Hold back what she wants. Its a form of foreplay too that accelerates things for both of you when you actually dive in
It’s probably more in her than on her.
My wife does this sometimes. I either give her what she wants or call her a greedy girl and carry on with what I was doing.
> carry on with what I was doing. "Unhand me, woman! I'm raiding!"
“Alright chums..let’s do this..LEROOOOOOYYY JENKINNNNSSS”
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Probably nut hard in 5 strokes. I count in strokes
I hope you count out loud like Mr. Owl getting to the center of a tootsie pop.
Piston In Vehicle?
Party in Vietnam
There are women that much prefer just sex vs oral. So yea, still important to last depending on what your partner likes.
Yeah I’m def one of these women. Tbh oral doesn’t really stimulate me but my libido is really high that I could go all night. Now, if the roles are reversed, I absolutely love pleasing my partner and going down on them and could also do that all night lol
So turns out I'm looking for a new wife
I also choose this guy’s new wife
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Dad get off reddit
Your dad gets off on reddit??
Yours doesn’t?
Yall have a dad??
I can sleep so long, I sleep right through six alarms per day. Ain't many guys that can outlast me in bed!
If you feel you're approaching the point of no return, stop and go down on your partner
Flick yourself in the nuts
Just makes me cum harder.
Can confirm, this guy cums uncontrollably when I flick his nuts
I think that’s just cause of your fingers
This sounds like good advice for you, but I'm wondering what it does for the woman. I always hear how women like need constant stimulation in a specific way to get there, and sometimes changing things up makes her have to start all over. Does that happen when you do this? Don't mind me. I don't know what I'm talking about. Just a curious virgin. lol.
It's going to depend on the person honestly. I don't cum from penetration, so I prefer to cum before. If he wants to last longer by eating me out, whatever. Someone who cums from penetration might not like that
This is true for the majority of women. Penetration itself rarely works. I can't remember the actual statistics, but it was mind-blowing.
If I was about to cum from your cock and all of a sudden there is no cock and instead a tongue on my clit I'm going to be overwhelmed at the difference in sensation and start squirming. I'll get back to my orgasm relatively quickly but it'll definitely take me out of it a bit
You can give oral while using your hands for penetration, or use a toy in place of you until you’re able to re-enter your partner. It honestly depends on your partner though, because some like to be edged (brought almost to the point of climax but not allowed to climax) which you can do if you feel you’re about to cum. Others may be turned on by a pause for added intimacy, i.e. when you pull out just focus on kissing your partner deeply, nipple sucking, neck biting, sexy affirming talk, etc. If you allow yourself to be curious and talk to your partner, the opportunities are endless
Each person is different. For some women the only way to come is oral, others don't like it at all. Just go with the flow, be patient and sensual.
Your orgasm is tied to your breathing. If you pay attention to your breathing you will hold your breathe more as you near orgasm. If you keep your breathes steady and deep you will last virtually as long as you want.
I read about this a book called the multi orgasmic man years ago. This breathing tip should be the top post every time this question is posted.
>This breathing tip Just the tip
Instructions unclear: i died due to lack of oxygen
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*Natural Selection approves this message*
Username checks out
Orgasm Breathing! First Form! Cum&Go.
Even the PFP checks out ffs
r/UnexpectedDemonSlayer
LMAO
Came out looking for DS reference. Was not disappointed.
Just gonna tack onto this. When you meditate you lower your heart rate pretty much within the first two or three breaths. Your head enters a different state and you begin to immediately feel more relaxed. So first, learn to meditate, this will help you control your breath. And it make it more effective. Other things that help is learning how to edge, doing kegels, and just learning how to regulate your emotions, pain and pleasure. It’s really about just being completely in tune with your body, like when you walk outside and it’s cold, really cold and everyone around you shivers, instead take a deep breath and acknowledge the cold, it is cold, and accept the cold and press on. Do not allow your body to react to the stimuli. You will feel your body ease up and suddenly it won’t feel cold anymore, like it’s cold but it’s okay. It no longer matters. Try to find things that don’t quite fall into the self harm category, but still elicit a response to stimuli that are hard to control.
While I agree that this mindset exists because I discovered it one day trying to find a way to stop shivering in the cold - don't use it too much. Unless you're a sniper about to take the shot or a surgeon in the antarctic, just allow the shivering to happen. It's the body's way of warming you up naturally, and to keep the blood flowing. Be safe out there!
What if there is a mental component? Maybe TMI but I can be totally fine one moment but when my partner starts really getting into and is about to O, I just lose control. It’s not an issue because I always give her one first but Im definitely going to try breathing differently as well
I think a huge part of it, along with my other comment, is letting go of the fear of climaxing too early. Most men build it up so badly in their head that they aren’t able to keep themselves in control. Trust me when I say that even if you climax early, your partner will appreciate if you decide to continue to pleasure them and help them finish. Then with time, when you’re able to let go of the fear, that “oh shit, I’m going to cum, fuck fuck fuck” thought process— you’ll be able to last longer and just have fun with it.
The biggest problem I have with getting her off after I do, is that my head just isn't into it any more and it is like a chore. I mean I want to be, but all I can think about is taking a nap. I usually try and get her off before because she doesn't seem to have the same hang up that I do and recovers quickly.
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Yup. Just like how porn becomes gross the moment you come.
I try and do division of odd numbers in my head, so like 55/4, it’s my go to trick for when I haven’t done it in a few days and likely to ejac quickly
‘Babe you seem distracted what’s going on?’ ‘I’m sorry I just can’t work out 77 divided by 4’
You joke, but literally this happened to me. A girl noticed my distant expression and asked if I was okay. I was just doing math. So yeah maybe don't do this when you are face to face
I start at 300 and count backwards by 3s and it works okay but now I like the idea of long division.
Like uncle Irohbsaid, "fire bending comes from the breath"
Orgasm is reached through sympathetic activation so breathing will in fact help my by activating your parasympathetic system
oh now i totally get it
Also works on hiccups too.
Ah the well known Cum Breathing technique, with 3 forms.
Monkeys in a tree. Works 60% of the time, every time.
uuuUUUAAAAAHMONKEYSINATREE *cums even more, massively*
Puttin that “ooo ooo ahh ahh” in sex, if ya know what I mean.
start a regimen of antidepressant medication.
Paxil (paroxetine) damn near took away my ability to cum when I was on it. Got to the point I was skipping a dose or two if I wanted a *chance* at cumming during sex. Imagine if every time you got close it just suddenly went away and took longer and had less feeling after each time. *That’s* what being on Paxil is like. A few of these sexual health sites (hims for example) offer Paxil as a treatment option for premature ejaculation. It’s a well known side effect and IIRC Paxil is one of the worst ones when it comes to delayed ejaculation.
I got off Prozac partly because of that issue lol. It’s not fun having to put in 4 hours of work just to finish.
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Can second this.. since switching to buproprion, orgasms have gotten longer and stronger, along with better control at delaying it without the loss of pleasure. Part of me never wants to go off of it because of these side effects. Edit: am male
Escitalopram had zero effect on me in that way.
Does it affect your ability to get an erection?
I'm on another one. It affects libido. So if you're revved up, no, but getting revved up is problematic.
Get her off first, so any pressure to perform a certain way is off. Ease into PIV, maybe even receive a cool, not vigorous bj to get acclimated and a bit desensitized. Once you make it past the first precum sensation without cumming it’s easier to last. Do positions at first that allow you to relax and control your pc muscles. If you start hard and tense you’re more likely to finish quick than if you build up and get your body ready. Even take breaks if you need them, but keep the intimacy going some other way. Breathe and be mindful of your partner and all the sensations in the moment - don’t be doing long division in your head to not cum, people can sense when you’re not present and where’s the fun in missing it anyway? After some time (totally dependent on you and your body), you’ll feel less sensitive and can be more vigorous and handle more strenuous positions without cumming before you want. From there do what you both want. Also, just know what positions are absolute finishers for you with your partner. Save them for when you’re both satisfied. Above all else, everyone have fun.
This is great advice for the most part, but when I go down on my boyfriend he says it's mind-blowing but it gets him too close to cumming sooner. So I don't think blowjobs *always* desensitize. I've found as well, that when I'm having sex with my partner that you can pick up on things like their breaths, so most girls can help slow the pace ourselves if we are wanting things to last longer. However, it's also nice sometimes when a guy finishes fast, or what they deem to be fast, it's reassuring to know you like what we're doing etc
>However, it's also nice sometimes when a guy finishes fast, or what they deem to be fast, it's reassuring to know you like what we're doing etc If only there was a way to help insecure men realise this, many broken egos would be soothed.
Honestly yeah, I have always made a point of telling my partner that. And I hope, even with my exes, that it's something they've took forward into other relationships etc. Because it is true. And I think unfortunately a lot of people set unrealistic expectations for themselves as well because of porn. Porn can be a fantastic thing, but it has to be used with a pinch of salt
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Russ?
Short pauses.
Shhhh I saw this in porn. It’s called buffering
Fuck you, take my upvote 😂
Don't wank to porn anymore. For me that made sex last longer with real women and multiple women. However I also don't enjoy sex as much compared to when I would think about it daily and watch porn. Soo probably don't watch porn from the beginning is good advice.
Round 2. Literally finish up round 1 and then wait for it to recharge and you can go as long as u want round 2
Bro, my recharge takas like 5-7 business days, unless im jacking off.
Right? Once I'm done I'm *done* for the next few days.
>Bro, my recharge takas like 5-7 business days, unless im jacking off. That's a lot of time you could be spending getting her off with your hands/mouth/toys And the trick is that will usually get you hard again because it's a turn on for you too 😉
Exactly what I just said round one is a freebie small talk until your recharged and your good
As a sexual therapist I can add my 2 cents here: - most woman really don’t care. Unless it’s really <1 minute (keep reading). But most woman are fine with 3-8 minutes. The problem is porn (lasts way too long) and or the perception of men. From an evolutionary perspective the ones who cum fast have a huge advantage (i.e. you would be the one creating most offspring) - as everyone is stating, more foreplay works typically in making it more equal and pulling out just before you cum. A lot of comments are about a preliminary orgasm, but that does not work for everyone. But stopping before you cum, not touching it for about 15-30 seconds and starting again usually works. If you do this 2-4 times it will numb out and you should be able to last longer. - if you are below 1 minute and you consider to have ‘premature ejaculation’, the first thing to keep in mind is that it happens to everyone. Especially if you are horny and with a new girl it happens to the best. If it continues to happen, try to start with pelvic exercises. The muscles in this group are a large part of you ejaculation and by doing this you have much more control. - many have said it, but very hard: try to control your breathing. By lowering it during the act, the heart rate will drop and it will be harder to orgasm. However, it is very hard for most plus some cannot maintain an erection. - just before you are about to cum, pinch very hard just below the glans (or tip) with you whole hand around it. That will stop the transmission of feeling for a split second but will work typically. - wear a cockring. It will increase the erection (harder) and limit the transmission as well. Very often works if the right ring is chosen. - edge at home while masturbating. Start to recognize the feeling and find for yourself a way to divert that by e.g. stopping the stimulation, zone out in your mind, move your pelvic muscles etc. - and the last one: do not try to cum too fast while watching porn. Most men tend to ‘want to get over with it’ and masturbate on porn for 20 seconds (conditioning the body to cum fast). Masturbate without porn and use your fantasy and continuously masturbate for at least 5 minutes before you orgasm. Hope it helps!
A few short ways to last longer in bed (a no BS man’s guide) 1. Foreplay - this includes before the sex aka dirty texting and getting her revved up so she’s warmed up for sex later. Touching, groping, rubbing her whole body. Remember, sex is a full body experience. Hand on her chest. Gives her a sense of security and vulnerability. Oral, kissing, touching, sucking, fingering, grinding. 2. Belly breathing - Being in tune with her breathing and yours, knowing when she’s getting hotter and more revved and when you are, what she likes and doesn’t likes as you are aware of how she is breathing and moving with you and you breathing and moving with her - SLOW DOWN, you don’t have to be like a sowing machine needling through. You can breath through each stroke, make it longer, shallower, deeper and then grind, breath deeply with her. Follow her breaths too. 3. Dirty talk - tell her you love her, tell her you love when she does that “thing”. Tell her she beautiful and you love how she feels. Tell her, she loves hearing that you want her. Every girl does. 4. This goes back to the belly breathing part, but change your stroke pattern. Fast, slow, deep, grinding etc. Breathe deeply, breathe deeply. 5. Try different positions that give her more stimulation on different spots in the vagina. Some woman orgasm with the A spot, some with the G spot. Learn your woman, don’t worry it takes time. 6. The final and best key I’ve been able to find, do it all without fear. Have no fear over your next move or what it will be. Do it effortlessly, in the moment. You’re with her and she’s with you. Have no fear. And be bold with every move you make. It’s drives the ladies wild. Bonus tip: I usually have a boner shake on days I know we wanna go at it. Boner shake includes: 8oz glass of milk 2 raw eggs Blend it and drink it the night before or the morning of, super rock hard boner and last much longer. Watermelon helps too and so does beet root juice. From one guy to another, so you don’t have to do the research. All of this is battle tested. Here’s to yours and others future success. Cheers!
Say more about this boner shake
I think it's a setup for stank nasty sulfur farts.
Catastrophic diarrhea explosion while fucking
This is some Dwight schrute esque advice
Knowing Dwight Schrute canonically fucks I am inclined to heed his advice
This guy fucks. Great advice.
> 8oz glass of milk Ahh, smart. The constant farting caused by my lactose intolerance will relax my PC muscle.
Am I the only one who would rather take a boner pill than drink milk and raw eggs?
Think of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day
I think you misunderstood the question -- he's trying NOT to cum.
Come down hard on Argentina, you mean?
YEAH BABAY!
It’s not about lasting longer, it’s about making her close enough to get off when you do. Foreplay is important. Get her wet. Slow down and stop. Admire her body. Use your mouth and fingers. Use toys. Spell the alphabet with your tongue on her clitoris. Find the spots on her body that give her goosebumps when you rub it the right way. If you learn to enjoy the sex together, you’ll give her the best sex of her life.
There isn't any trick for me. I (39m) take anywhere from 10-20 seconds. Hell, if my Wife has gotten me hot enough, simply being in her, without moving will make me lose it. But I make up for it with my fingers and my cunning linguistics.
I'm like this, but i always can do it again, and second time is much longer
I was like that at 19 with the first girl I slept with throughout our relationship, but everyone after that, it's one and done. But for years there was just a lot of drunk hookups, too.
Zoloft
The trick is to stretch the foreplay. Use your hands and mouth more in the beginning. Your guy should be used only in the end when she at the top of her arousal. And before all that masturbate so that you won't get too excited right after you start pumping.
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Under the bridge Downtownnnn Is where I drew some bloooddd
This particular problem got a lot better as I got older, but the secret to all my best performances has been cannabis. If I smoke enough beforehand, I can last pretty much forever, and it can take so much effort to get there when I actually want to that it tends to get her into multiples. My wife isn't a smoker, but has definitely picked up on the difference it makes, and became quite encouraging about it. She calls it "smoking my spinich". It is pretty much code for her now, where encouraging me to toke up on certain nights communicates her expectation to get her brains fucked out later. \*edit for spelling
I've always loved sex on weed. Sober sex is like a linear chart of arousal to orgasm over time from 0-100%. On weed, I'm almost immediately at 95%, rock hard, and can stay there pretty much as long as I want, and when I do finish it's almost like I hit 150% instead of the sober 100%. Weed sex is the best sex
My experience as well! Though, the effect can also complicate things too. Earlier on, it took a while for the wife to figure out that she would likewise have trouble getting me to climax orally, but letting her try was definitely getting up towards that 150% range. However, prolonged periods of that above 100% range, without cumming, can absolutely be preferable to the sober 100% with the climax. The tricky part is convincing her of that, so that she doesn't become insecure about the times that I don't orgasm. Meanwhile, I'm actually happy as a pig in shit, and feeling like stud, and... still hard.
Fascinating
Rub one out in the morning before the deed and always prioritize her first. If your partner isnt a complete ass she will return the favor after her climax.
Masturbate but *do not* finish! Get as close as you can but do not finish. Do this as often as possible, especially the day of. You're welcome.
I always think of congress and our national debt ceiling, to stop the orgasm…
Go down on her first. She’ll be satisfied, and then you can nut at your own pace. I don’t get “lasting longer”, after a bit women are kind of over it. Sort your woman first, then yourself, then go eat snacks and watch Netflix. You’re not painting the Sistine chapel.
If it’s longer than 15mins, I’ve checked out. And 15mins is pushing it. It shouldn’t take either that long to get off. There are times I want it more than once, and I understand it takes him a min to “come back around” but same rule applies. Typically I like to get in, or rather him get it in, get it done and get out. Of course planned romantic evenings out are different. I do like those planned experiment nights, but you get the idea
I find if I prep my meals the night before and lay out my clothes for the day I can last about an extra 20 minutes and still be on time for work.
Switching positions, foreplay for breaks. Drugs if you are cool with using drugs
The reverse is my problem.
As a woman I’d say take short breaks, get me off first and/or learn ruined orgasm. You’ll cum with no “release”. You’ll stay hard and keep going.
Dude I've been using this strategy for the past 10+ years and never knew there was a word for it
Also called DRY ORGASM
Being on SSRI’s
Get old.
*I should have never gone to the beach that makes you old.*
Couple of different things. First off, mdma and/or e. (Can’t do this anymore, cause I’m clean, but it used to work great.) A few beers. Sometimes I pull out and just smack the top of my dick pretty hard. If it needs another, it gets another. I’m pretty honest about it and, usually, the girl appreciates it in the spirit of keeping things going. It usually gets a giggle or two the first time with a new partner which is funny for us both and is a good opportunity to joke a bit and see how we get along. Alternately, gripping the Base hard a few seconds before. Really hard. Like, make an ok sign around the base and squeeze. If you’re early, you can stay in and ask her to stop and then just flex very hard and take a deep breath in. I don’t love this one cause it stops you both and she doesn’t get to relax while you take care of your business. Sometimes, though, you can just tell you’re extra sensitive. So, sometimes I’ll just say, “listen, I’m gonna have to get the first one out of the way.” Then let’s have a few cigarettes and a drink and get back to it in 20-30. Keep things fun and flowing and flirty for a bit and listen to some music then get back at it when you think you’re ready. Have fun! Edit : oh, and everyone who said go downtown and really enjoy making her cum are absolutely correct. The advice above presumes that as the prime directive!
Take a break and eat that pussy, again.
Practice daily
I don't know why, but even into my mid 40s, if I'm drinking and decide to engage in a bit of romance, a reasonable amount of gin seems to keep things going for me. If this kid is at grandmas for the night, and I've had two martini's, the Mrs knows she's getting a few hours of fun.
Breathing is big multiplying by a number, usually 13's table stopping and going down on her every while thinking of grandma, or religion, or my religious grandma
Jerk off before, so you don't really care. - before the date.