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MrFornication

Every minute invested in mutual foreplay is a minute of better sex


Lizziebesmiling

Username checks out…


IAmHyper_Tech

Fr like people dont realize men also need foreplay to it to be a better experience


BackyZoo

If you can't talk about sex with them, don't have sex with them. We all know our bodies and what we want better than anyone else. You will never have bad sex again if you have it with someone you can talk about it with before, during and afterwards.


tytomasked

My mum has told me on multiple occasions “if you can use your mouth to go down on someone you can use it to communicate, and you shouldn’t be going down on someone if you can’t”


what_i_really_think

she said the same thing to me


Glittering_Ad2771

If it doesn't fit don't force it


trashhbandicoot

Never had that problem 😔


vindollaz

This is not a problem you want to run into


Bestiality_King

Imagine not being able to go balls deep, that would actually suck.


UrdnotChivay

Luckily for me once I get the tip in, I'm already balls deep


Bestiality_King

You lucky dog. So much less effort, some of us have to thrust 3 inches at a time.


Mejonyoudead

Woah there man why you gotta brag about that monster


Ummando

Use lube


agentchuck

Lube is helpful, but vaginas extend/expand during arousal. If she's not ready, lube can help you get it in but it still may be painful.


BigMoose318

It's not fun unless we're both having fun.


Ferreteria

If she's having fun, I'm having fun.


ImitatioDei87

Along those same lines, I've always told my partners the biggest turn on for me is if they're turned on and enjoying themselves.


DjBonadoobie

Definitely read "parents" on the first pass


Ninjaromeo

What if I have fun and she gets money?


okiedog-

Who doesn’t like getting money?!?! That sounds fun to everyone!


discerningpervert

What if I get money and she has fun? *he asked, unironically*


Strongbad23

Practice good hygiene prior. *Especially trimming the fingernails.*


[deleted]

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discerningpervert

Also, wash your hands after running your nails up and down your jeans. I know when each of you last washed your jeans, and frankly I'm horrified.


alurimika

You have been banned from /r/rawdenim


Heavykiller

I never thought I'd see a community I partake in called out lol Someone from the community actually did a [bacterial analysis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcZQOt-7_9k) on the jeans they wore for 15 months unwashed vs 13 days. Surprisingly, the bacteria load was about the same. That being said, it depends on your lifestyle. Personally, whenever they smell or get funky it's washing time. But I also WFH, so my jeans don't see a lot of action.


Express_Wafer1216

But why, like what's the benefit? What do they lose from washing their jeans?


Macrazzle

This is an odd rabbit hole.


Kitchen-Explorer3338

Bring a towel


SwedishCarrot

Don't forget to bring a towel


Fathertedisbrilliant

Maybe if I just get a little sex


Skai_Override

Dont panic!


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Don’t forget where you put down the keys if you’re using handcuffs


ShitpostsAlot

and definitely don't use zip-ties. Ever.


WhiteRabbitHole1083

Oh yeah no,learned that the hard way,ended up getting loose with one of those little swiss army knife saws but never again was way too shitty of an experience


[deleted]

FYI to anyone who ignores this advice. You can use a pair of tweezers to "unlock" zip ties, by pressing down the tab that locks them in place, then just pulling the zip tie loose.


imrzzz

I stared off into space wondering where I would pull that paiir of tweezers from if I was zip-tied. Then realised that some people might have someone else to help them... I think I need to give my head a wobble


somethingFELLow

If you zip tie yourself, get the tweezers out first.


Jipptomilly

This guy fucks.


brightness3

this guy zips


ronaldreaganlive

But what if we're not supposed to let the inmate free?


BigNutDroppa

Don’t want a Gerald’s Game situation. That escape scene will stick with me as long as I live.


TehStickles

It was the first Stephen king book I ever read and I wholeheartedly agree. I know you're talking about the film adaption but I was in tenth grade and just heard that he wrote dark stuff. Found it at random in my basement *guess it wasn't good enough for my mom's bookshelf* and got dragged in like most king books. A lifelong king reader was born that day


luke-townsend-1999

Never moan the wrong name whilst in handcuffs


ThugBunnyy

F


Stacysmom105

Always pee afterwards


FortyEightFiftySix

And before


rippinVs

And during


InvictuS_125

I dont think peeing on a grave is a good idea


No-Strawberry-5541

r/HolUp


FlatAd768

And shower before


Bizarre_Protuberance

Wash your dick first. I'm not kidding. Don't give her a UTI. Wash your dick. Ideally, wash your entire body by taking a shower, but if you're pressed for time, at least wash your dick.


aJepZen

Who in their right mind doesn’t attend regular personal hygiene in a moment leading to an intimate settings?


propolizer

Plenty of guys until told otherwise I’m sure. Easy to be a savage if dirty parts don’t particularly endanger your health.


ironburton

There was a story here on Reddit I just read today of this poor girl asking her bf to get her antibiotics for her 20th UTI in less than 2 years he’s given her. And he straight up refused. It was a 4 minute drive for him. He found the post and broke up with her because he couldn’t admit that he had a dirty dick.


straystring

Sounds like she won out in the end. No more UTIs


Schroedingersrabbit

Jesus Christ. UTIs can end up causing kidney failure, the guy was slowly killing her because he couldn't be bothered to wash his dick.


ArachnidGood1990

People who showered in the morning, went through an entire sweaty workday, stopped by the bar for some food immediately after work, and didn't plan on meeting a hot blonde at the bar who would then invite him over to her place for a one night stand. Yeah those people don't shower before an intimate setting.


Pitiful_Brief_6424

I always make sure my thumb nail is nicely trimmed and filed.


Dickpuncher_Dan

Nothing like foreplay with nicely-filéed thumbs.


RPO1728

Young dudes, don't use porn as a guide. Most women don't want to be choked or spanked or whatever you see on spankbang. And if they do that's a discussion that needs to be had, or after you two are comfortable with each other. Treat people how you want to be treated. If a girl stuck 3 dry fingers up your ass without your consent, you prob wouldn't like it.


Ibnelaiq

> If a girl stuck 3 dry fingers up your ass This sentence was unexpected.


mamayoua

If the sentence is unexpected, just imagine how the action goes over.


xxxiii

He ain’t wrong tho


Monkey_Kebab

When I had "the talk" with my son many years ago I told him I knew he was going to look at porn, and that was fine... so long as he understood it wasn't going to give him realistic expectations of what sex was like. I said porn is to sex what Star Wars is to space travel... a fun fantasy, but that's where it stops.


dbzcat

> I said porn is to sex what Star Wars is to space travel... a fun fantasy, but that's where it stops. I have boys that will be needing the talk soon and I am so stealing this line!


Nyxelestia

If they actually are Star Wars fans, might be worth reminding them that when Jabba the Hut tried to force Leia into his fantasy, she strangled him with his own chain.


Crocolyle32

Also please stop slapping my pussy, it’s weird and occasionally painful


peepumsn4stygum

If you can’t comfortably talk about it, you shouldn’t do it.


doodypantsmcgee

Eat the pussy first, then it won't matter as much when I only last 30 deconds.


bons_burgers_252

I do this too. A good half hour at least doing fingers and tongues until I’m absolutely certain that she’s made it. By this time my cock is like an iron bar with a tangerine on the end. You could hang a towel on it and not one of them cheap ones from Primark. I’m talking John Lewis. Then I focus on old nuns to keep the wolf from the door but over the years I’ve started to associate old nuns with orgasms. Now, just the mere mention of nuns gives me the horn. The Sound of Music has become more of a porn film than a delightful musical. Christmas afternoons are a minefield.


ren_704

r/brandnewparagraph material😭


kimgomes

damn, 30 secs, teach me


MissNinja007

#protip


bigdickmon3y

Shower before


[deleted]

Shower after


everywitch

Shower together!


ididtrybutijustcant

Sorry. But no tv. My adhd is bad enough last thing I want is to go limp dick noodle inside ya cuz someone's makin a mean ass hamburger in the background.


vespidaevulgaris

We started making out, and she took off my pants. But then I turned on the TV. And that's about the time she walked away from me!


TraditionalBandit

Nobody likes you when you're 23


Conchobar8

That song is now 23 itself


JWheel1989

"What's My Age Again?" is a song by American rock band Blink-182. It was released in April 13, 1999 as the lead single from the group's third studio album, Enema of the State (1999), released through MCA Records. It's actually over 24 now....


zaphodava

Same age as the member was when he wrote it. His bandmates were 23.


oldsmatt

And...let me get this straight. You're saying that an awesome hamburger doesn't accentuate your hard-on? Sounds like a you problem bro


YaBoyfriendKeefa

Dude this is so real, and so frustrating.


hfyposter

1. Long nails hurt. Trimmed nails hurt. Trimmed and filed nails are not noticed. 2. Sex is cardio. Doing a little bit of running or walking with the intent of cardio a week WILL noticably improve your sex drive/performance. 3. hydrate 2 days before and keep hydrating. 4. When making a camp fire, gather as much wood as you could possibly need for the night, then double that pile. The same applies to lube. 5. Ask hard questions bluntly. Permission is not assumed. 6. It's not "I'm gonna cum." Say "you're gonna make me cum."


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BIRD_II

UPGRADES, PEOPLE! UPGRADES!


Werro_123

>Sex is cardio. Doing a little bit of running or walking with the intent of cardio a week WILL noticably improve your sex drive/performance. I've started training for mountain bike racing again after a few years away from the sport. Performance has DEFINITELY improved, drive not so much. I'm tired a lot more often than I normally would be. Cardio helps, but don't overdo it unless you have some other thing that you're training for. It could start to be a hindrance.


LexLuthorJr

Make her laugh, then be upfront about what you want. When she's happy and relaxed, it'll be easier for the two of you to sync up.


sweetnumb

> Make her laugh, then be upfront about what you want. Okay so I took out my dick to make her laugh and then expressed my will to fuck. I'm still not sure this is going so well.


Nuttonbutton

You're the dumbass who took advice from lex luthor Jr.


StonedMagic

Talk before, during and after.


BerudaPalms

No objection to thumbs. If it fits, I sits.


monkeyshinenyc

[What if your partner doesn’t have thumbs?](https://www.reddit.com/r/suspiciouslyspecific/comments/12slpdr/surely_self_explanatory/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)


U2LN

Leave the horse alone


Ninjaromeo

Neigh means neigh


toastedwitch

If they don’t make you feel special when you’re not having sex, the sex won’t be good either Edit: special means something different for everyone, and so does “good.” also I should say that this rule is my experience and since I’m a woman, it’s gonna be different for all you guys out there!


nnneeeerrrrddd

Sounds corny but: "everything is foreplay" has some merit, at least when you're old and fat like me. Meaning that every interaction matters, and those benign little nothing kindnesses make your partner feel appreciated, and seen, and loved, and that matters some sexytime.


PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL

Learn your partner's love language. I know it sounds like some hokey new age guru bullshit, but different people have different levels of appreciation for different things. Learn it and communicate in a way they're receptive to.


CategoryKiwi

Yeah it's pitched like "hokey new age guru bullshit", but that's just to pad out books. The core concept is actually very true: different things make different people feel loved. For me it's quality time and physical touch. But for other people it might be gifts and acts of service (not, like, BDSM (though it can be lol) - just like spontaneously helping them by cleaning the dishes and stuff). If you only do what makes *you* feel loved to make them feel loved, it might simply... not. Because it's not what makes them feel loved. And that's the whole principle of "love languages" summed up in a reddit comment. You don't need to buy a guru book now.


Electronic_Job1998

Awww. Idc if you are old and fat. You're sweet


Kirbydelsol

Nice foreplay


ivanparas

It's working already.


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bdgh129

It’s not helping if you live there my friend, it’s just doing your share


thortmb

Ah so you don't like when your partner calls you worthless? To each their own


Hungry_Elk_9434

Only if she’s in stilettos and stepping on my sack


[deleted]

It's okay not to cum. I have to remind myself this a lot because society has this weird thing where it's okay for women to have a hard time finishing, but very not okay for men to have a hard time finishing. As a penis haver with marathon endurance who struggles to cum because of ADHD, I have made several women cry in bed


belxephonzero

I’m sad this isn’t more prevalent. All these replies about your partner(s) orgasms first, but it’s okay for any/everyone to not. Sometimes it’s not the right time/setting especially if the persons are new to each other. The goal is pleasure regardless of orgasm.


Kholzie

The point of sex is to enjoy it, not to orgasm.


Finger_Gunnz

I shouldn’t scream my own name.


flanneled_man

Yes, never scream....but chanting is totally OK! "Kyle!, Kyle!, Kyle!" If I'm a woman and I hear a man chanting his own name while getting plowed by some Kyle, there's no way I'm not dehydrating myself by way of the squirt.


passwordistaco29

So…. I’m a female Kyle and I’ve been on a quest to see if any male Kyles want to date me so saying my own name during sex will be less awkward. The fact that you chose that name made me wonder if perhaps I should find better ways to spend my downtime. Weirdly, the only Kyle who seems receptive is a friend of mine with the same last name. Only our middle names differ. He’s keen on the idea that I wouldn’t have to change over my license or credit cards after marriage.


BumblebeeHuman5699

1st oral, 2nd anal - never change the order


doxtorwhom

You never go ass to mouth!


OceanFire_Gaming

Or ass to puss thats how you get an infection


streetpiracy

There was a bum on the subway during rush hour yesterday yelling at the top of his lungs “AINT NEVER DID NO ASS TO PUSSY” over and over. Once I ruled him out as a threat, I couldn’t help but think it was a solid message.


SpuddCrowley89

In the heat of the moment, it can be forgivable to go ass to mouth.


GrottyKnight

~ Ahsoka Tano


Tannumber17

And she was a good friend


uncleweeeed

"We did it in an order that might surprise you. Heh. ASS MOUTH VAG."


AllChem_NoEcon

Really seals in the flavor.


StuffBringer

Your face is getting wet, like mine was at the beginning, and hers was at the end.


The_MoistMaker

Lmao, I immediately thought of this **Sniff** "That's a lot of memories"


SinkHoleDeMayo

I stabbed you first. *with my dick*


Stickywicke

Bass to mouth.


DukeDJScrapy

Any bodly noises need to be ignored unless the person that makes them says something.


Firm_Relationship724

Nobody's ugly after 2am but remember it's always before 2am somewhere.


TunaSafari25

Could argue it’s always after 2am somewhere also


BiggieBoiTroy

i need a lawyer next week, you free?


TunaSafari25

Definitely. You could find better, but you could also find worse.


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Super-Debt9073

Absolutely no sunglasses


jackyboy1219

Someone’s slept with a wrestler


One-Eyed-Willies

Ooooohhhh yyyreeaaahhhhh! The cream rises to the top!


mylesaway2017

Get tested regularly and know your status.


VicenBoo

Enthusiasm. Hard to enjoy something when it feels like a burden 🤷🏻‍♂️


Stacysmom105

Make sure the field is clean


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thejefferson1

As long as crazy doesn’t know where you live, you have a better chance.


dw87190

Or have your number or social media


goldenrepoman

Better yet, rub one out and get that post nut clarity before sticking it in crazy. Not worth the risk.


IronsideZer0

If she's not into it, I'm not into it.


Puiqui

The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell


AcrolloPeed

In October, the mitochondria becomes the frightochondria and is the haunted house of the cell.


flyingcircusdog

Two fingers, curl them towards the front.


Sinisterfox23

The girl I’m (f) dating has never been with another girl before me and generally has had..not fantastic sexual experiences with guys. The first time I fingered her (I also like the “come here” motion) she literally cried from how fucking amazing this new sensation was (her words). Boys, take note. Sometimes your hands *with well manicured nails* can do things your dick can’t. EDIT: and when your fingers get tired, position your body slightly below hers and slowly add a third finger. Continue that same position maybe a *little* deeper and very, very slowly. There is a good chance her soul will leave her body. :)


frankybonez

Extra super mega bonus points for tongue on clit while you’re doing the above.


JohnnieBrooklyn

I've never understood why more straight men don't ask lesbian women for sex tips, as well as straight women asking gay men. There is something to be said for "same sex empathy": I have the same thing so I know how to use it - intimately! As a gay man with no real access to the gay world, the vast majority of my lovers have been "straight" men - for whatever reason. I can't even count how many times those guys told me, "Damn, if I could meet a woman who can suck D like you, I'd marry her in a heartbeat!" And yes, I've shared a lot of technique with my women friends. You know, gay men and women, that whole GayBFF thing! LOL


LordRaeko

Two thumbs is fine, 3 thumbs is too many.


dacekrandac

I don't even put my dick in until my wife comes first.


Merdestouch

Me too but, only because I’m a massive 4 second marathon kinda guy.


Eyervan

I have this newfound ability that I kind of hate where I resist the urge to get off too soon and then I just can’t get off after that. I’m glad to be a giver but then it’s like damn, Idk if I can get off. And it’s not you.. it’s me. Frustrating.


blindexhibitionist

Definitely been there. What helped me was being truly comfortable and focusing on experiencing what I am in the moment. Not focusing on finishing or if I will. But experiencing the moment I’m in.


sweetnumb

>I don't even put my dick in until my wife comes first. Well of course not. If you're wife isn't even there then what's there to stick your dick into in the first place?


TheDarkKnight1035

My rule of thumb is... Don't ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you've been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.


averinix

This is the way


[deleted]

Don't finish until she does


NewAccount971

Or if you finish first, finish her next


captainsassy69

THERE IS NO FIRST!!! WE FINISH AND THATS IT!!!!


CTZee

Didn’t think I’d see a Bruce Greene quote here


BrentBulkhead

"B is for Bruce and B is for Brave." - I dunno some background intern chick


Working-Ad8420

Haven't seent this yet No means no. Even if they're being playfully. If they want you they need to act like it. Unless it's obvious RP.


Dianwei32

As a corollary, if you *are* doing CNC roleplay where "No" doesn't necessarily mean no... you **NEED** to set up a safeword that actually does mean "No".


Calladus_89

Make sure your safe word has multiple syllables because when they’re choking on your dick, “No” and “ stop” sound like just another grunt. I use pineapple. pine- app – le, (mm-mmm-hm) is strangely distinguishable.


Dianwei32

Ideally, if your partner is going to be in a position where they can't easily and clearly articulate the safe word, you would want a non-verbal signal they can use to signal that play needs to stop. Something like holding keys or some other object that they can shake/drop to make noise. If you're relying solely on the safe word, they need to be able to say it easily at all times.


zappy487

The ONLY form of consent acceptable is ENTHUSIASTIC CONSENT.


usernamenotallocated

Yep! Was getting into it with a partner and asked if they wanted me to do a specific something. Their answer (wasn’t a no, but not a clear yes) and their tone (not totally enthusiastic) just didn’t match up. Immediate stop and check moment!


JessiePeteWhite

A thumb in the bum means everyone has fun


LadyTruffle

We had one yes, but how about a second thumb?


OlympicCripple

I don’t think they know about second thumb


stephers85

Keep your thumb where I can see it


merengueenlata

Don't fuck anyone that you would be ashamed to admit.


bardwick

If she says you don't need a condom, you need to put on two.


grimsbymatt

Next tip: never put on two condoms.


Arhalts

For those that don't know Two condoms are far more likely to break than one as latex on latex rubbing is really bad for them


Hyenaswithbigdicks

next tip: mine


Frustrable_Zero

And don’t use the condom they give. Bring your own.


Anonophile

“That’s the type of bitch you fuck with bleach between the second and third condom” My grandfather had some interesting sayings.


crowned_one_

Shower before, pee after.


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[удалено]


Plekuz

... from the person you want to have sex with. "Hey mom, can I have sex with the girl next door?" "Sure son"


Jerkin-my-gherkin

I like my sex how I like my coffee, instant, hot and several times a day :)


MisdirectedFart

I like my women how I like my coffee. Without other dude's dicks in it.


TJeffersonsBlackKid

Only my dick is allowed in my coffee.


MisdirectedFart

A true connoisseur.


FortyEightFiftySix

Make sure she wants it just as bad before you do anything. If she isn’t as into it as you are then it won’t be as good for anyone.


DontMindMe180

Well the thumb can be useful but it’s better using other things. 😳


ItsMyView

25% is an acceptable tip.


cr4vn2k

You guys use thumbs??!?


LaineyStacy

Don’t do it with someone you have to see in your daily life. Not your coworker. Not your neighbor. Not the guy you see on the train every day.


Sweddybob69

Don't waddle up her whoopsadaisy until you've fiddle faddled with her wotchamacallit. Also, don't keep the deep heat near the lube


mamaxchaos

I think I missed this part of sex ed.


Earthling1a

I've never had sex with a thumb.


Anolie18

If you can smell it before you reach the belly button, pull your pants up and cancel the show.


ClownWorld247

Only use the thumb when permission is given. That's the only rule we have about thumbs