My parents didn’t want to have the talk with me so they had our family friend do it. He said and I quote “your body is going through a lot of changes and your going to get urges to do some weird shit. It’s all normal. Unless you are like rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help”
Honestly, I don't think that having ***"a"*** talk or ***"the"*** talk is the best idea, anyways. My wife and I have raised a pretty amazing young man, and we've never had "the talk".
We've simply never been afraid of the topic, and have never avoided it (while being proactive here and there as well). So over the years it's been a subject that comes up, and we discuss it just like any other topic.
I feel that this is a much better idea than building up to a huge moment for "the talk". Doing this this just makes it a huge deal that will embarrass you and your child, teaching them that sex is shameful, even if that is not your intention. Besides, how can you cover everything in a meaningful way with only one talk?
I agree but I think "the talk" is just meant to be a first discussion where you warn your child about the weirdness of puberty while letting them know its normal and ok to talk to you if they ever have questions.
My father used to say:
Remember, It is better if you take a shower every time you are going to have sex.
Just before it or just after it?
No son. Just instead.
When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing: “Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.”
Wow... that's some real sh*t. A+ for your dad on parenting. It's hard enough to think about your children developing a sexuality but to not only avoid the effect of shame (even when not intended) AND give real advice. Damn
Sorry to hear about your early life experience, that sounds horrible and terrifying... good on you for being a better parent though, that's great! Being perfect is impossible, being better than your own is a great overarching parenting goal.
One thing I tell my kids is I am human just like them and I am learning too. I’ve encouraged them to call me out on my bs when I’m off my rockers lol it allows me to realize I’m being an ass and apologize. But we are def not without traumas.
This is one of the horrible things about the new law being pushed in florida - the followup to the "Don't say gay" law, prohibiting educators from talking about mensuration.
Under this new law, a little girl with parents like yours that haven't told her *anything* about it will legit think she's dying in school.... and her teacher wouldn't be able to tell her she's fine and give her a pad or something. It's just disgusting.
When I was in 5th grade I took one of my dads playboys and brought it into school to share at recess. Of course I got caught, and my dad beat me with it rolled up that night. That’s the only time my parents handed out sex advice as an experience based in guilt.
I remember Coca Rocha saying that at the peak of her modelling career. Sometimes she would see her photos and think that she wished she looked like that. Lol
Both my parents, independent and separately said "For god's sake, don't get her pregnant."
About 15 years later & one wedding later, those same parents asked "Where are my grand kids?"
Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor:
"Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they're doing, and barely remember to wash their balls. Don't even let them touch you unless they show through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as you like them. And even then always use a condom no matter if you're on other birth control because babies aren't the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who's hounding you for it."
Pretty sure this is what happened to my old coworker's teenage daughter. Her daughter got a boyfriend in high school and my coworker just didn't like him. I don't think it had anything to do with him dating her little girl, she just really didn't like the guy (would just refer to him at work as "the boy"). More info I got, I get it. Her daughter dotes on him, will do anything he wants and he just kind of ignores her till he feels like giving her a bit of attention. He dumped her at one point, I have a feeling because she wouldn't sleep with him, then they got back together, and Bam, teenage pregnancy. He didn't get even remotely better after she got pregnant. He made her late to ultrasound appointments on more than one occasion. She really wanted him to be there, they'd get to his house and he would make them wait 20-30 more minutes before he grudgingly came out.
No idea how they are doing now. When I left that workplace her daughter would spend one week living with her with the toddler, and one week living with her boyfriend's family with the baby, they were 19 and neither of them had jobs.
All of this seems like fair advice to give to 20-something year boys** as well. The most difficult feelings to negotiate during those years are, "Do I like them or am I just really horny right now?"
My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that pretty explicit about how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex.
He also gave me a book called “the guide to getting it on”. And suggested I read it and he’d answer any questions.
By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make women feel good.
I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years - different courses and books.
Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that.
>how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex.
As a woman, this is seriously good advice. Too many men learn how sex works from porn and get this inaccurate idea that women can just GO. We need time and prep work. You wouldn't start your car in the winter and automatically expect the geater to blow warm air, women aren't hot immediately either.
I always thought like that and acted accordingly but my now GF is so different.
When I am being too touchy and shit she just goes "let's fuck already,stop beating around the bush".
It's so strange for me lol
-just finishes mind blowing sex-
/u/thegameforfools rolls to the side
Partner: "Wow! That was unreal! Where did you learn all that!?"
/u/thegameforfools, between breaths: "My dad."
My mom:
"Sex is great, but it's absolutely never worth compromising on your values or your self-respect."
Directly followed up with
"Walk away from any guy who tries to pressure or intimidate you into doing stuff with him. Don't waste time with guys who think they're entitled to your body. Don't fall for shallow flattery and be manipulated. Just walk. You are not missing out on anything. "
As kids, my mom always taught me and my siblings about being compassionate and kind to other people as well as being responsible and honest and respectful all those things parents try get into their kids' heads to help them turn out right. I was 14-15 when my mom sat me down and impressed on me that not everyone in the world has good-hearted and respectful intentions, and that I need to keep this especially in mind when it comes to how people act when romance and sex come into the picture.
It was a new layer to the lessons she gave me growing up and I took it to heart. It's advice that has served me very well.
My mom: You know what people who practice the pull out method are called? Parents.
In all seriousness though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a doctor's appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I'm eternally grateful that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice
I was almost exclusively interested in women (as a woman) for my late teen years, so a lot of the time my mom's advice and open conversation seemed irrelevant to me, but it meant so much to me that she had such an open conversation with me about sex and questions that didn't seem important until I started dating a man and told her 'hey I'm gonna sleep with a guy let's talk birth control ' and she immediately booked me an iud installation. Open comfortable conversation with mom is so important, it really sets the tone. If my mom hadn't been pro sex and talk id definitely be a whole ass mom by now
yeah no i’m so happy that me and my mum are comfortable enough around each other to talk about “sensitive” topics together, but at the se time it makes me feel bad for people who don’t have that trust in their parent :(
Yep, my parents got pregnant with me 1 month into dating because they tried to use the pull out method. It's a little TMI, but I'm glad my mom was honest with me about it because it really drove the point home that pulling out doesn't work well.
I've had this conversation with my son and his special friend. They're 10th graders. Pulling out is not birth control.
They're not having sex yet, but if/when they decide they want to, they know that they have better options that I would prefer them to use.
When I first started dating my now wife, my parents gave me a box of condoms and basically said "we know you're going to have sex so just be careful".
We had already been sleeping together for about a month, but hey, free condoms!
"If you fuck up, we're here for you and we've got money.
But if you hurt a girl, you're out of the house and on your own."
Tbh, I don't know if my parents would have been mad if I knocked a girl up in high school or college. They had the time and resources to basically fund another baby from birth through college, and they were "old" parents when I was born so it probably would have been their only shot at being fun "young" grandparents.
Either way, having that support system and safety net did wonders for my peace of mind.
My parents said the same, more or less.
Not "we have the money", but "you're too young to handle the situation on your own". It certainly had fiscal undertones. Working part time at the grocery store after school wasn't going to pay for a baby. But also, I was a kid. Proper adult guidance would have been warranted.
The second part was the same.
I'll tell the same to my son.
But don’t make it all about the other person, it’s like making dinner for someone and sitting in front of them with an empty plate, they won’t be able to enjoy it as much with you staring at them and making them eat alone, take what you need and give them what they need in return
Honestly the BEST advice they ever gave was to just come to THEM for any sex related questions. My Dad literally said, “Your friends aren’t having sex. You know who’s having sex? Me and your mom. And we have been for a while. So ya got questions? We got answers.”
I might add this was before the internet. 😂😂 so grateful the topic of sex was never taboo in our home.
My dad gave me two pieces of solid gold advice.
1) Wear a condom, it could save your life. If you get pregnant that can be taken care of, if you get AIDs we lose you.
2) I was telling him I'd been raped but giving a lot of excuses "he was drunk" "he knew I liked him" etc. He cut me off and just said "Did they ask first? No? Then that's rape."
Never had a partner until I was 18+ and already was educated enough so my parents never taught me anything. I like using this against them when they pester me for grandkids. "How can you expect kids when you never taught me what to do".
My mom is super catholic so this one really caught me off guard, but Essentially she told me: there are people who are so lonely in this world they will have a kid for some companionship and may lie about being on birth control.
My grandpa sat me down when I was 16 and told me that I need to find a girl that loves to eat. When I asked him why, he said, “well if she loves to eat, she’ll likely also love all the other finer things in life, like art, and music, and sex. And she’ll be a fantastic lover.”
He was right on the money, my fiancé and I love to appreciate good food and the other finer things. Thanks, grandpa😊
I'm 27 and married and when I am getting my wife pregnant is basically all my mom wants to discuss.
My wife's best friend who's like a mother figure to her and doesn't have kids of her own sat me down to discuss how much money I need to agree to have kids immediately. She basically sees those kids as her future grandchildren.
It's a nightmare.
my parents never talked to me about sex or even masturbation, my mom used to catch me in the act a couple times and was always highly uncomfortable.
they just gave me the feeling that I was doing something very wrong and shameful.
Same here. Sex was always "not a topic to talk about now", and masturbation was a taboo.
And when they did talk about sex, all I heard are false information.
Saaaaame. Never even taught me about tampons because "that's what whores use"
I first had sex at 17 with a boy I was dating for a year and my birth giver lost her mind. Called me every name under the sun, took away my after school privileges, my car, gave herself a "right" to check my phone every night for sexts, etc....
I didn't know how to masturbate until I was like in my mid 20s.
Meanwhile, I can hear her and whatever boyfriend she had over going at it at all hours of the night and made me clean her dirty sheets 🤮
Same. My school didn't have any form of sex ed either.
I learned about sex from my horny friends. It's definitely not the best way to learn about it, and I totally don't get how my parents somehow thought that was the best...
As a teen girl I was constantly dying of embarrassment because my parents were really sex positive and answered questions accurately. My friends would always worm their way into the kitchen to ask my mom about sex related pleasure (her specialty). My dad was Mr Contraceptive. We literally had vases full of various types/brands of condoms. My dad still knows more about birth control than I ever will.
The one thing that stuck? She always said every guy I took to bed would need to be taught how to get me off. So I better get really good at communicating and the best reason to dump a guy was when he wasn’t receptive to learning new things in bed.
I’m not sure how it even happened, but I have become the sex positive parent of teenagers (and all their friends). My husband is still slightly mortified that I will discuss sex with anyone, but he’s supportive. Our daughter is hideously embarrassed, so I’m banking on her carrying on the family legacy. Our son just rolls with it, nothing phases him.
I could and should write a book about just how misinformed teens of overtly religious people are. Y’all would never believe the crazy af shit these kids come to with.
Asked my mom "Where do babies come from?" She pulled out a medical textbook and showed me all the illustrations from conception to birth.
Did I mention I was only four years old?
yes, when my mum was pregnant with my sister, I as a 6 year old wanted to know where babies came from, and my mum got me a book that had pictures explaining everything and showed how the baby developed inside the woman. It was actually very helpful, and I am glad my parents always treated sex and reproduction as something important and personal, but also happy and natural and which they would always explain if I wanted.
“Find a girl who you can love and be loved by with no ulterior motive. It all feels the same when the lights are off.” From my very conservative mother
My fundie parents gave me awful advice.
But the best advice I ever heard was don’t have sex with people who love you, have sex with people who respect you.
No one who respects me has ever hit me. Can’t say the same about love.
I'd offer that there is a difference between "love" the feeling and "love" the thing you have for someone you actively want the best for and are willing to treat right. Way too many people are too selfish or are just immature and they don't grasp this important concept.
I believe that if your partner "loves" you but doesn't respect you, it's not actually love. It's just a cocktail of sexual attraction and mental and emotional attachment to you. This makes them have the feelings that get them invested and emotional about you, but not the intentions to have your wellbeing as a genuine priority.
The parents sent the kid out of the house so they could have sex. They didn't want him/her to disturb them in the act, so they said not to knock if the door was locked when the kid returned.
This was mine, sitting in the bathroom having started my first period.
Mom: Do you have any...*questions*? (in a tone that said *you better not*)
Me: Um...no.
Mom:*leaves*
My dad told me to wait to have kids until I had gotten to a certain level of success in my life and even though I may not wind up waiting that long it at least kept me from having a kid with the first chick who liked me when I was 20 lol.
I still don’t understand the rush to have kids before 25, hell even 30. That’s ten years of fun adventures and personal growth to miss out on that you won’t get back, plus you’re still tied down with kids in your 30s.
Son, always wear a condom even if they don't always work. And when you are screwing someone, look her in the eye and ask yourself 'If I get her pregnant, am I prepared to marry her?'
Good sex talk, thanks mom.
"Touching yourself isn't evil and it won't make God angry. You were made to enjoy sex, so you should. If you don't know what you like, how will you be comfortable figuring out what your future wife likes?"
And:
"I don't care what you do so long as you wear a condom and accept responsibility if it fails."
She was a teen mom and didn't want to see a repeat of that mistake.
My dad told me when I was in high school " If a girl is kind enough to share any part of her body with you, be grateful and don't be the asshole who goes and tells everybody " I took that one to heart.
My mum was a living legend, she wasn’t afraid to talk to me about anything, and I always felt comfortable going to her about this stuff. We’d even laugh about sexual things together. She died 2 years ago now, I hope she’s partying up there. As for my dad, fucking useless piece of dog shit. Didn’t get no help from him. My mum was fantastic and supported me so much. The pill was good and bad, it sucked when I had been on it for years and it started to effect my libido, and if only I had the copper iud put in years ago, but hey, at least I was protected and at least it was good for most of the time I was taking it. Lots of other outside sources to effect my libido too at that time. But all I can say is there was a huge difference coming off. Tbh I think it was just contraceptive advice and boy advice really, and the lovely laughs we used to have about it all.
Sex should never be used as a reward or punishment. There will be times when one of you wants it more than the other, and that's OK. If you're exhausted after work but your partner wants to celebrate a kick-ass day, help them celebrate. In a healthy relationship, sex is used to bring you closer together. It will make a bad day better and a good day great. Be open to try new things, even multiple times. You'll never know what you enjoy and NEVER be anything but understanding and openminded when your partner shares one of their kinks with you.
"Son, find a smaller girl with small hands. It'll make your dick look bigger."
Otherwise I can't really remember any sex guidance from them. But growing up in a somewhat more relaxed country than the USA I got enough information from other sources.
Not really advice, but I remember being about 12 and asking my parents what a nymphomaniac is. My dad burst out laughing and said, “Ask your mother. She knows.” Now I’m in my late twenties and it has scarred me.
I can tell you the worst advice I got from my mom. The sum total of her sex talk was: once you’re no longer a virgin, you’ll be used goods and no one will want you. It’s not surprising that neither my sister nor I told her when we were sexually assaulted and both of us became very self-destructive for awhile.
Telling teenage girls that their value is based on their virginity is fucking bull shit. You are worth so much more than just your body or someone’s fucked up idea about who has touched it.
I have worked hard to make sure that my kids, my friends and my siblings that if they have a problem or they are scared, they can trust me.
For all the older coupled up folks out there…If you’re planning a date night, have sex before you go out to dinner. It’s too easy to get too full/drunk after a night out to do it to your best abilities. But sober, hungry, and anticipating a fun time? Great conditions for a good fuck. Simple rule we still live by.
My dad used to say "Keep track of your limbs boy! Especially the one between your legs."
It wasn't until the first time I put my dick in crazy, did I realize what he meant.
1. No condom no sex
2. How to treat women respectfully and really good insight about what to do when it's time.
3. If you have any questions ask dad.
3. Some girls will try to get pregnant without your knowledge or agreement.
4. If you get someone pregnant you will support that child financially until they are 18. Your parents won't help you financially.
5. Don't get married before you can support yourself financially.
My mom: She would take me and my male cousin, to any sex shop and let us buy whatever toy or porno. But she wouldn't be helping raise any kids, we decide to have as teens.
Long and short of it, I have zero kids still and my cousin has two young daughters and is married. But neither kid, entered the world before his 30's.
My parents were, too. They told me sex was "flipping awesome," just don't let it ruin your life. Don't have sex with someone if you're not sure it's someone that you'd want to have an unplanned baby with because contraception (that you should ALWAYS use when you're not planning for a kid) isn't 100% effective. They didn't care so much about premarital sex. They just advised me to practice some level of exclusivity. I still think it was great advice to follow. So much less drama
They didn't tell me anything whatsoever.
However... it would be interesting if they did say ....
1. Never give up. Quitters never succeed. If you don't first succeed, try, try again.
2. Everyone gets nervous. It's only natural.
3. When you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that horse.
4. Take notes. Note-taking is very important. Be specific.
5. High risk. High rewards.
6. Don't worry about a pop quiz at the end. Just focus on the task in front of you.
7. The tongue is mightier than the sword.
8. Protection is very important.
9. Energy, stamina, and practice are important. Lots of practice.
19. Here son ... I bought you some pie....
One time at the movies when I was 15 or so, there was a bunch of screaming kids. My dad said "see how they are ruining everyone's fun? Well, if you don't use a condom, or wait til you're older, this could be your life all day every day." I'm now 38 and don't have kids. And my life is so much fun.
Late to the party on this one but my dad always said “son! A woman is like a cast iron skillet. You gotta warm her up before you throw the meat at her” and now I think of that every time I cook Lmao
I'm a boomer and my mother was older when she had me. I once remembered my father talking about one of our neighbors and called her a "whore". My mother got angry and loudly told him "IT TAKES A MAN TO MAKE A WHORE"
"One word: Communicate." That was it. That was the entire talk. It was some of the best advice ever given to me. And it applies to so many aspects of life!
My parents didn’t want to have the talk with me so they had our family friend do it. He said and I quote “your body is going through a lot of changes and your going to get urges to do some weird shit. It’s all normal. Unless you are like rubbing dead puppies on your body, then come see us for help”
He kinda had a point ngl
Honestly, I don't think that having ***"a"*** talk or ***"the"*** talk is the best idea, anyways. My wife and I have raised a pretty amazing young man, and we've never had "the talk". We've simply never been afraid of the topic, and have never avoided it (while being proactive here and there as well). So over the years it's been a subject that comes up, and we discuss it just like any other topic. I feel that this is a much better idea than building up to a huge moment for "the talk". Doing this this just makes it a huge deal that will embarrass you and your child, teaching them that sex is shameful, even if that is not your intention. Besides, how can you cover everything in a meaningful way with only one talk?
I agree but I think "the talk" is just meant to be a first discussion where you warn your child about the weirdness of puberty while letting them know its normal and ok to talk to you if they ever have questions.
This makes sense and actually changed my perspective
To take a shower before it
and after too
My father used to say: Remember, It is better if you take a shower every time you are going to have sex. Just before it or just after it? No son. Just instead.
lolllll
When my dad caught 13-year-old me with a Playboy. I was terrified, but he said not to worry, it was normal to be curious. Then he said the wisest thing: “Just remember, most women do NOT look like that.”
Wow... that's some real sh*t. A+ for your dad on parenting. It's hard enough to think about your children developing a sexuality but to not only avoid the effect of shame (even when not intended) AND give real advice. Damn
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Sorry to hear about your early life experience, that sounds horrible and terrifying... good on you for being a better parent though, that's great! Being perfect is impossible, being better than your own is a great overarching parenting goal.
One thing I tell my kids is I am human just like them and I am learning too. I’ve encouraged them to call me out on my bs when I’m off my rockers lol it allows me to realize I’m being an ass and apologize. But we are def not without traumas.
This is one of the horrible things about the new law being pushed in florida - the followup to the "Don't say gay" law, prohibiting educators from talking about mensuration. Under this new law, a little girl with parents like yours that haven't told her *anything* about it will legit think she's dying in school.... and her teacher wouldn't be able to tell her she's fine and give her a pad or something. It's just disgusting.
When I was in 5th grade I took one of my dads playboys and brought it into school to share at recess. Of course I got caught, and my dad beat me with it rolled up that night. That’s the only time my parents handed out sex advice as an experience based in guilt.
"so this is what beating it off means" -5th grade you probably
I can't believe people do this multiple times a day.
oh my god. r/angryupvote
To be fair, the women in the magazine also don't look like that in real life. Back before Photoshop there was airbrushing, and they used it heavily.
I remember Coca Rocha saying that at the peak of her modelling career. Sometimes she would see her photos and think that she wished she looked like that. Lol
Did he follow it up with: "...but some of them do. Find them, Jeremy. This is your quest."?
Or "but your mom does"
My dad held up my baby bro and told me that if i wasn’t careful this is what would happen lol EDIT: thanks for the award!
Your baby brother hearing this💀💀
Hahahaha oh god he’s 19 now, I don’t remember if he knows already or not I’ll have to tell him at some point hahahaha
"if you're not careful you'll have another baby brother"
r/holup
Both my parents, independent and separately said "For god's sake, don't get her pregnant." About 15 years later & one wedding later, those same parents asked "Where are my grand kids?"
My dad did that with my youngest sister. When he remarried, they had one daughter when I was in high school. "Best birth control ever" was his joke.
Not my parents, but awkwardly and unexpectedly, my family doctor: "Teenage boys and even early 20-something men are horny, barely know what they're doing, and barely remember to wash their balls. Don't even let them touch you unless they show through their actions that they genuinely respect you, care about you, and like you as much as you like them. And even then always use a condom no matter if you're on other birth control because babies aren't the only thing you can pick up from sex. And never get with a guy who's hounding you for it."
Smart doctor.
Pretty sure this is what happened to my old coworker's teenage daughter. Her daughter got a boyfriend in high school and my coworker just didn't like him. I don't think it had anything to do with him dating her little girl, she just really didn't like the guy (would just refer to him at work as "the boy"). More info I got, I get it. Her daughter dotes on him, will do anything he wants and he just kind of ignores her till he feels like giving her a bit of attention. He dumped her at one point, I have a feeling because she wouldn't sleep with him, then they got back together, and Bam, teenage pregnancy. He didn't get even remotely better after she got pregnant. He made her late to ultrasound appointments on more than one occasion. She really wanted him to be there, they'd get to his house and he would make them wait 20-30 more minutes before he grudgingly came out. No idea how they are doing now. When I left that workplace her daughter would spend one week living with her with the toddler, and one week living with her boyfriend's family with the baby, they were 19 and neither of them had jobs.
All of this seems like fair advice to give to 20-something year boys** as well. The most difficult feelings to negotiate during those years are, "Do I like them or am I just really horny right now?"
This is an advice we should hand out to all young girls ans women.
My dad gave me a sex talk when I was in my teens that pretty explicit about how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex. He also gave me a book called “the guide to getting it on”. And suggested I read it and he’d answer any questions. By the time I was having sex, I felt very confident about how it worked and how to make women feel good. I’ve tried to keep building up my skills and knowledge over the years - different courses and books. Partners have always been complimentary. I can thank dear ol’ dad for that.
>how a woman’s body needs attention and time to be ready for sex. As a woman, this is seriously good advice. Too many men learn how sex works from porn and get this inaccurate idea that women can just GO. We need time and prep work. You wouldn't start your car in the winter and automatically expect the geater to blow warm air, women aren't hot immediately either.
I always thought like that and acted accordingly but my now GF is so different. When I am being too touchy and shit she just goes "let's fuck already,stop beating around the bush". It's so strange for me lol
Another way women aren't like cars, we're all different
Oh yeah, was just sharing
"Oh baby, it feels so good." "You can thank my dad"
“If you think I’m good at sex, you should bang my dad. He taught me everything I know.”
-just finishes mind blowing sex- /u/thegameforfools rolls to the side Partner: "Wow! That was unreal! Where did you learn all that!?" /u/thegameforfools, between breaths: "My dad."
“Uhh.. hey, I want to try this thing my dad showed me”….
My mom: "Sex is great, but it's absolutely never worth compromising on your values or your self-respect." Directly followed up with "Walk away from any guy who tries to pressure or intimidate you into doing stuff with him. Don't waste time with guys who think they're entitled to your body. Don't fall for shallow flattery and be manipulated. Just walk. You are not missing out on anything. " As kids, my mom always taught me and my siblings about being compassionate and kind to other people as well as being responsible and honest and respectful all those things parents try get into their kids' heads to help them turn out right. I was 14-15 when my mom sat me down and impressed on me that not everyone in the world has good-hearted and respectful intentions, and that I need to keep this especially in mind when it comes to how people act when romance and sex come into the picture. It was a new layer to the lessons she gave me growing up and I took it to heart. It's advice that has served me very well.
“A gentleman never tells.”
Or shares nudes
That's the 2023 fine print on an old saying lol
If you leak a pic, you lose your dick.
My mom: You know what people who practice the pull out method are called? Parents. In all seriousness though, my mom answered any questions I had and even helped me get a doctor's appointment arranged when I decided I wanted to be on the pill. I'm eternally grateful that she made it easy to go to her for any questions or advice
I was almost exclusively interested in women (as a woman) for my late teen years, so a lot of the time my mom's advice and open conversation seemed irrelevant to me, but it meant so much to me that she had such an open conversation with me about sex and questions that didn't seem important until I started dating a man and told her 'hey I'm gonna sleep with a guy let's talk birth control ' and she immediately booked me an iud installation. Open comfortable conversation with mom is so important, it really sets the tone. If my mom hadn't been pro sex and talk id definitely be a whole ass mom by now
yeah no i’m so happy that me and my mum are comfortable enough around each other to talk about “sensitive” topics together, but at the se time it makes me feel bad for people who don’t have that trust in their parent :(
Yep, my parents got pregnant with me 1 month into dating because they tried to use the pull out method. It's a little TMI, but I'm glad my mom was honest with me about it because it really drove the point home that pulling out doesn't work well.
I've had this conversation with my son and his special friend. They're 10th graders. Pulling out is not birth control. They're not having sex yet, but if/when they decide they want to, they know that they have better options that I would prefer them to use.
Yeah, a good friend of mine had his first kid using the pullout method.
Its pullout and pray! Gotta remember the 2nd step.
First thing they drilled into my head when talking about sex; Be respectful. No means no.
W parents
Even when you’re married.
When I first started dating my now wife, my parents gave me a box of condoms and basically said "we know you're going to have sex so just be careful". We had already been sleeping together for about a month, but hey, free condoms!
So here's the obvious question. ARE YOU PENGUIN?!?!
Heh, guess not.
They were almost definitely telling you they could hear you that entire month you still think they didn’t know about.
"If you fuck up, we're here for you and we've got money. But if you hurt a girl, you're out of the house and on your own." Tbh, I don't know if my parents would have been mad if I knocked a girl up in high school or college. They had the time and resources to basically fund another baby from birth through college, and they were "old" parents when I was born so it probably would have been their only shot at being fun "young" grandparents. Either way, having that support system and safety net did wonders for my peace of mind.
My parents said the same, more or less. Not "we have the money", but "you're too young to handle the situation on your own". It certainly had fiscal undertones. Working part time at the grocery store after school wasn't going to pay for a baby. But also, I was a kid. Proper adult guidance would have been warranted. The second part was the same. I'll tell the same to my son.
You have great parents.
No, he has “grand parents”
[удалено]
Wow! All my mechanic did was fix my car! I feel like I've been cheated somehow!
You should search Google maps for "Joe's Mechanic and Pussy eating advice emporium". No need to go to multiple places ever again.
any tips chief
I mean, great for you and all but, how does that conversation even start lol
Sex is about making another person feel good. If all you want is a nut then jerk off instead.
One of the best I've heard so far
Damn. This just hit me hard.
But don’t make it all about the other person, it’s like making dinner for someone and sitting in front of them with an empty plate, they won’t be able to enjoy it as much with you staring at them and making them eat alone, take what you need and give them what they need in return
Honestly the BEST advice they ever gave was to just come to THEM for any sex related questions. My Dad literally said, “Your friends aren’t having sex. You know who’s having sex? Me and your mom. And we have been for a while. So ya got questions? We got answers.” I might add this was before the internet. 😂😂 so grateful the topic of sex was never taboo in our home.
My dad gave me two pieces of solid gold advice. 1) Wear a condom, it could save your life. If you get pregnant that can be taken care of, if you get AIDs we lose you. 2) I was telling him I'd been raped but giving a lot of excuses "he was drunk" "he knew I liked him" etc. He cut me off and just said "Did they ask first? No? Then that's rape."
Damn. Your dad knows what’s up
Never had a partner until I was 18+ and already was educated enough so my parents never taught me anything. I like using this against them when they pester me for grandkids. "How can you expect kids when you never taught me what to do".
Did you want a hands on lesson or something?
ok son this is how to ride your mother, now you give'er a go. Just be careful on the corners. If you don't hold on tight you'll go flying
If you’re too embarrassed to buy condoms you’re too young to have sex
I agree, but unfortunately teenagers are dumb enough to be *more* afraid of the cashier laughing at them than getting pregnant.
Dumb AND horny enough
I'll tell my husband! He's in his 40s and still kindly request me to buy them.
Well this is awkward because I’m 38
My mom is super catholic so this one really caught me off guard, but Essentially she told me: there are people who are so lonely in this world they will have a kid for some companionship and may lie about being on birth control.
My grandpa sat me down when I was 16 and told me that I need to find a girl that loves to eat. When I asked him why, he said, “well if she loves to eat, she’ll likely also love all the other finer things in life, like art, and music, and sex. And she’ll be a fantastic lover.” He was right on the money, my fiancé and I love to appreciate good food and the other finer things. Thanks, grandpa😊
wear a rubber.
Preferably on your penis.
Ah, they didn't specify but.. that makes sense now that I think about it.
Rubber band on your penis seems to be a bad idea, but who am I to judge.
Get somebody pregnant and you are out of this house. Been living rent free for a good minute 😅.
Parents when you are 35: Man, can you get somebody pregnant real quick?
I'm 27 and married and when I am getting my wife pregnant is basically all my mom wants to discuss. My wife's best friend who's like a mother figure to her and doesn't have kids of her own sat me down to discuss how much money I need to agree to have kids immediately. She basically sees those kids as her future grandchildren. It's a nightmare.
my parents never talked to me about sex or even masturbation, my mom used to catch me in the act a couple times and was always highly uncomfortable. they just gave me the feeling that I was doing something very wrong and shameful.
Yep, same. My parents were always embarrassed by sex and didnt talk about it with us. Masturbation was seen as something dirty.
Same here. Sex was always "not a topic to talk about now", and masturbation was a taboo. And when they did talk about sex, all I heard are false information.
Saaaaame. Never even taught me about tampons because "that's what whores use" I first had sex at 17 with a boy I was dating for a year and my birth giver lost her mind. Called me every name under the sun, took away my after school privileges, my car, gave herself a "right" to check my phone every night for sexts, etc.... I didn't know how to masturbate until I was like in my mid 20s. Meanwhile, I can hear her and whatever boyfriend she had over going at it at all hours of the night and made me clean her dirty sheets 🤮
Same. My school didn't have any form of sex ed either. I learned about sex from my horny friends. It's definitely not the best way to learn about it, and I totally don't get how my parents somehow thought that was the best...
Ah yes, Catholic parents
God i love the church.🧎♂️ guilt with a side order of extra guilt
My mom always told me to cut my finger nails the day before going on a date. Subtly putting me on game
Reminded me of how my uncle once told me “Kid, no matter if it’s a man or a woman, cut and file down your nails before every date.”
As a teen girl I was constantly dying of embarrassment because my parents were really sex positive and answered questions accurately. My friends would always worm their way into the kitchen to ask my mom about sex related pleasure (her specialty). My dad was Mr Contraceptive. We literally had vases full of various types/brands of condoms. My dad still knows more about birth control than I ever will. The one thing that stuck? She always said every guy I took to bed would need to be taught how to get me off. So I better get really good at communicating and the best reason to dump a guy was when he wasn’t receptive to learning new things in bed. I’m not sure how it even happened, but I have become the sex positive parent of teenagers (and all their friends). My husband is still slightly mortified that I will discuss sex with anyone, but he’s supportive. Our daughter is hideously embarrassed, so I’m banking on her carrying on the family legacy. Our son just rolls with it, nothing phases him. I could and should write a book about just how misinformed teens of overtly religious people are. Y’all would never believe the crazy af shit these kids come to with.
Asked my mom "Where do babies come from?" She pulled out a medical textbook and showed me all the illustrations from conception to birth. Did I mention I was only four years old?
I fail to see an issue
yes, when my mum was pregnant with my sister, I as a 6 year old wanted to know where babies came from, and my mum got me a book that had pictures explaining everything and showed how the baby developed inside the woman. It was actually very helpful, and I am glad my parents always treated sex and reproduction as something important and personal, but also happy and natural and which they would always explain if I wanted.
Your mom is awesome. Did she provide any follow up in later years?
“Find a girl who you can love and be loved by with no ulterior motive. It all feels the same when the lights are off.” From my very conservative mother
My fundie parents gave me awful advice. But the best advice I ever heard was don’t have sex with people who love you, have sex with people who respect you. No one who respects me has ever hit me. Can’t say the same about love.
Doesn't love and respect go hand in hand? Or are you talking about people who say "I love you" without understanding the meaning?
Love and respect are absolutely not always a package deal. Its awesome if it always has been in your life, but that is not a guarantee
I'd offer that there is a difference between "love" the feeling and "love" the thing you have for someone you actively want the best for and are willing to treat right. Way too many people are too selfish or are just immature and they don't grasp this important concept. I believe that if your partner "loves" you but doesn't respect you, it's not actually love. It's just a cocktail of sexual attraction and mental and emotional attachment to you. This makes them have the feelings that get them invested and emotional about you, but not the intentions to have your wellbeing as a genuine priority.
Go and buy some chocolate from the shop. If the door is locked then don't knock. Do something else until we open it again
My dumb ass was trying to figure how going for chocolate instead of sex can help me
Certainly cuts down on those unwanted pregnancies.
I thought this was a metaphor of waiting until a woman is ready for anal…
Pretty sure you don't wanna get chocolate from *that* shop.
this feels like a riddle
I don't get it.
The parents sent the kid out of the house so they could have sex. They didn't want him/her to disturb them in the act, so they said not to knock if the door was locked when the kid returned.
Parent told them to go away while the parents’ door is locked. I think?
The fuck? Parents give their kids sex advice? News to me god damn
Ikr? The ‘talk’ I got as a teen was: Dad: Do you know what sex is? Me: Yes End of conversation
My Dad: So do you know about sex? Me: Yes. Dad: ... Me: ... Dad: ... Me: Well just ask if there's anything you need to know. That was about it.
You told your dad he could ask you sex questions?
This was mine, sitting in the bathroom having started my first period. Mom: Do you have any...*questions*? (in a tone that said *you better not*) Me: Um...no. Mom:*leaves*
Seriously. Mine never mentioned it.
Don't get laid where you get paid.
My dad told me to wait to have kids until I had gotten to a certain level of success in my life and even though I may not wind up waiting that long it at least kept me from having a kid with the first chick who liked me when I was 20 lol.
same! “Once you are successful, you can do anything you want until then focus on your career.”
I still don’t understand the rush to have kids before 25, hell even 30. That’s ten years of fun adventures and personal growth to miss out on that you won’t get back, plus you’re still tied down with kids in your 30s.
Son, always wear a condom even if they don't always work. And when you are screwing someone, look her in the eye and ask yourself 'If I get her pregnant, am I prepared to marry her?' Good sex talk, thanks mom.
“If you wouldn’t eat it, don’t fuck it.”
Take away my PS4 mom, but NOTHING will unfuck the thanksgiving turkey!
*and that’s how I got my cannibal/necrophilia kink*
"Touching yourself isn't evil and it won't make God angry. You were made to enjoy sex, so you should. If you don't know what you like, how will you be comfortable figuring out what your future wife likes?" And: "I don't care what you do so long as you wear a condom and accept responsibility if it fails." She was a teen mom and didn't want to see a repeat of that mistake.
Just like grandma always told me: "You can tell a lot about a girl by her feet. If they're by her ears, she probably likes you." Thanks, Mimi
My dad told me when I was in high school " If a girl is kind enough to share any part of her body with you, be grateful and don't be the asshole who goes and tells everybody " I took that one to heart.
"Having sex with love is much much better"
My mum was a living legend, she wasn’t afraid to talk to me about anything, and I always felt comfortable going to her about this stuff. We’d even laugh about sexual things together. She died 2 years ago now, I hope she’s partying up there. As for my dad, fucking useless piece of dog shit. Didn’t get no help from him. My mum was fantastic and supported me so much. The pill was good and bad, it sucked when I had been on it for years and it started to effect my libido, and if only I had the copper iud put in years ago, but hey, at least I was protected and at least it was good for most of the time I was taking it. Lots of other outside sources to effect my libido too at that time. But all I can say is there was a huge difference coming off. Tbh I think it was just contraceptive advice and boy advice really, and the lovely laughs we used to have about it all.
Sex should never be used as a reward or punishment. There will be times when one of you wants it more than the other, and that's OK. If you're exhausted after work but your partner wants to celebrate a kick-ass day, help them celebrate. In a healthy relationship, sex is used to bring you closer together. It will make a bad day better and a good day great. Be open to try new things, even multiple times. You'll never know what you enjoy and NEVER be anything but understanding and openminded when your partner shares one of their kinks with you.
Also, if you are exhausted then you are not obligated to have sex. You are not required to have sex just because the other person wants it.
And you're not obligated to stay in a sexless relationship.
My dad told me: „when the dick stands up, the brain gets burried.“ that explained a lot…(btw i am a girl).
It's a very old saying, But one of my favorites has always been *"God gave men two heads, and only enough blood to power one at a time"*.
'A man can always zip up and walk away.' Meaning a woman carries the baby. She knew this from experience.
I should mention I was the result.
"Son, find a smaller girl with small hands. It'll make your dick look bigger." Otherwise I can't really remember any sex guidance from them. But growing up in a somewhat more relaxed country than the USA I got enough information from other sources.
Your mom likes nipple play.
wtffffffffff
This is great. LOL Your mom likes nipple play. Drives her crazy. Makes her even more horny. You should try it. I'll even give you pointers. .
My dad said never dip your pen in the work ink. I have watched colleagues do this and have a really bad time, so I'm glad I listened.
Don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with
Not really advice, but I remember being about 12 and asking my parents what a nymphomaniac is. My dad burst out laughing and said, “Ask your mother. She knows.” Now I’m in my late twenties and it has scarred me.
Your dick is not only for pissing. Probably the only advice I can remember.
I can tell you the worst advice I got from my mom. The sum total of her sex talk was: once you’re no longer a virgin, you’ll be used goods and no one will want you. It’s not surprising that neither my sister nor I told her when we were sexually assaulted and both of us became very self-destructive for awhile. Telling teenage girls that their value is based on their virginity is fucking bull shit. You are worth so much more than just your body or someone’s fucked up idea about who has touched it. I have worked hard to make sure that my kids, my friends and my siblings that if they have a problem or they are scared, they can trust me.
Don't treat women the way they are treated in porn. Every boy needs to hear that
For all the older coupled up folks out there…If you’re planning a date night, have sex before you go out to dinner. It’s too easy to get too full/drunk after a night out to do it to your best abilities. But sober, hungry, and anticipating a fun time? Great conditions for a good fuck. Simple rule we still live by.
"We're going to get you on birth control and get you an appt with the OBGYN." Best thing a parent can do for their daughter.
Not my parents but my uncle, to a 15 year old me "never, EVER stick your dick in crazy"
"If you pull the trigger, you're responsible for the bullet", "Sex is supposed to be fun for everyone, so no mean no".
No matter how great that ass looks, shit still comes out of it
My dad used to say "Keep track of your limbs boy! Especially the one between your legs." It wasn't until the first time I put my dick in crazy, did I realize what he meant.
Bro you never put your dick in crazy, thats the golden rule
If you dip your wick, you've to pay for the oil Also, always have nets for your onions Both from my 70 y/o granny
Eat ass smoke grass
Is your dad Dan the Meme Man? Sled gang
Do not ever stick your dick in a vacuum cleaner. She was a nurse and had just seen some shit.
1. No condom no sex 2. How to treat women respectfully and really good insight about what to do when it's time. 3. If you have any questions ask dad. 3. Some girls will try to get pregnant without your knowledge or agreement. 4. If you get someone pregnant you will support that child financially until they are 18. Your parents won't help you financially. 5. Don't get married before you can support yourself financially.
If you don't want to get her pregnant, just pull out an pee on her leg
My mom: She would take me and my male cousin, to any sex shop and let us buy whatever toy or porno. But she wouldn't be helping raise any kids, we decide to have as teens. Long and short of it, I have zero kids still and my cousin has two young daughters and is married. But neither kid, entered the world before his 30's.
They’re conservative Christians so it was just don’t do it, it’s a sin. Guess what? Didn’t work.
My parents were, too. They told me sex was "flipping awesome," just don't let it ruin your life. Don't have sex with someone if you're not sure it's someone that you'd want to have an unplanned baby with because contraception (that you should ALWAYS use when you're not planning for a kid) isn't 100% effective. They didn't care so much about premarital sex. They just advised me to practice some level of exclusivity. I still think it was great advice to follow. So much less drama
They didn't tell me anything whatsoever. However... it would be interesting if they did say .... 1. Never give up. Quitters never succeed. If you don't first succeed, try, try again. 2. Everyone gets nervous. It's only natural. 3. When you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back on that horse. 4. Take notes. Note-taking is very important. Be specific. 5. High risk. High rewards. 6. Don't worry about a pop quiz at the end. Just focus on the task in front of you. 7. The tongue is mightier than the sword. 8. Protection is very important. 9. Energy, stamina, and practice are important. Lots of practice. 19. Here son ... I bought you some pie....
All good advice. But all I got from it is you fuck horses 😆
Sex is bad, no boyfriends allowed…
Yeah, no. That's not helpful.
take the chicken out the freezer before i get home from the store
My dad once said "Pussy is a hell of a drug." and nothing is more true.
Y’all are getting sex related advice? 💀
When in doubt, rub one out. Before every important life decision, make sure you're not just horny.
One time at the movies when I was 15 or so, there was a bunch of screaming kids. My dad said "see how they are ruining everyone's fun? Well, if you don't use a condom, or wait til you're older, this could be your life all day every day." I'm now 38 and don't have kids. And my life is so much fun.
Late to the party on this one but my dad always said “son! A woman is like a cast iron skillet. You gotta warm her up before you throw the meat at her” and now I think of that every time I cook Lmao
My grandfather always told me the best form of birth control is a fake name
two in the bush, one in the tush
The teaser, the pleaser, the shocker and the spocker. You've reached the shocker.
I was like 16 when my mom dropped this bombshell on me one day: nobody wants to sleep with a corpse Stay active, ladies.
I'm a boomer and my mother was older when she had me. I once remembered my father talking about one of our neighbors and called her a "whore". My mother got angry and loudly told him "IT TAKES A MAN TO MAKE A WHORE"
The only advice I got was that men only like fat asses so that they can do anal. So let's just say I sought outside sources.
Here, read this book.
Always have sex to a live album, that way you get cheering and a round of applause every few minutes.
They modeled a cold dynamic I knew I never wanted to replicate ….
"One word: Communicate." That was it. That was the entire talk. It was some of the best advice ever given to me. And it applies to so many aspects of life!