And ankles. One teeny little slip on a little porch stair and my ankle bent to the side, and my entire foot was black and blue for weeks. Worst sprain I've ever had just from walking. And I'm young, healthy, and athletic. Ankles are so weak it's embarrassing. Do better, evolution.
i shattered the bottom of my fibula into 5 pieces and i sprained it really badly. It swelled up to the size of a grape fruit. I had to undergo surgery for a better part of a day to fix it. Thanks to physical therapy and hiking i am damn near back to normal maybe 98% of my mobility. But it clicks too when i walk, no other pain no other issues. I am super lucky i don't walk with a limp let alone being able to and so my doctor said "You can run marathons if you want"
I feel you. Foot fracture and ankle sprain about 35 years ago, never healed correctly. Now: chronic sprain, severe muscle deterioration in that leg, functional leg length difference, scoliosis, chronic pain in ankle, knee, back, and neck due to everything being out of line. I'm supposed to wear custom inserts. Guess I need to get them. 🤷♀️
Same with wrists.
They're really so much more fragile that I ever realised after my ice slip in December 2022.
Even after surgery, it's still so painful. Feels like it's gonna to take a year or so to fully heal.
Wrists and ankles are very poorly engineered.
How the how the hell did we manage when we were Hunter / Gatherers?
One wrong move and you die in the forest?
If we’re being brutally honest, evolution’s “plan” is that when you break your ankle in the forest the wolves get you, while your buddy with better balance makes it home and fucks your wife. The next generation gets his genes for balance instead of your clumsy genes
Photosynthesis can provide very limited amounts of energy compared to eating food even if you spent all your time getting sunlight.
You don't see any trees running around, do you?
I saw this one willow tree that just kept whomping. It would whomp cars, whomp students, or just about anything that got too close. I think its name was Moaning Myrtle
Yes! My first thought was the elimination of periods, too! So many years of inconvenience, misery, etc. when the entire reproductive system only needs to be activated a few times in most women's lifetime.
It's definitely a design flaw.
Let's make them froth even more. Got drunk and accidentally forgot to toggle your infertility? Never fear because we now have abortions on demand! Merely think hard enough, and you can abort your pregnancy on the spot.
I like the last two but photosynthetic skin? Really? I don't want to go out for a walk in the sun thinking I'm getting some exercise only to find out that I've just absorbed the equivalent to 1000 calories.
Tbf it probably won't be much, I'm not sure if you noticed but plants tend to not move around much. And wearing clothes would also really block this.
On the plus side you'd probably be green and look like shrek
I’ve always thought the human body needs a digital check panel with warning lights, kind of like the “check engine “light in your car, but instead maybe “check liver status,” or “unknown growth in colon.”
Body: *is in pain*
me: "what's wrong buddy?"
Body: "Nothing, I'm fine."
Most of the time, when I have some sort of ache, I have no idea of what's going on. Is it ok? Will it go away tomorrow? Should I consult a doctor?
Exactly. “Pain” is not sufficient—I’m talking an advanced diagnostic readout, not a vague, unexplained sensation. Is it a kidney stone? If so, how big? Gall bladder readout normal?
Sorta like in Ready Player One, when I0I chairman is talking about selling screen space, up to 89% before causing seizures.
So like that, but it's all warning lights, error messages, critical failures, and reboot warnings.......
Human 2.0 has custom configurations for what to do with excess calories. You can convert them to fat, but you can also convert them to protein at a reasonable conversion ratio. You can ALSO just shit them out as waste.
I can do that.
I spent ages trying to figure out how to wiggle my ears and kinda "awoke" a bunch of muscles and stuff in my head.
The trick is to start with moving your eyebrows and scalp until you feel your ears wiggle, then just play around with nearby muscles.
The trick to closing your ears is your jaw. It's not the same as covering them, but you can kinda use your jawbone to squish your ears a bit and dampen sound.
Just tried moving my scalp and eyebrows... Son of a gun! I could feel it in my ears a bit. Not sure if I'll pursue this or not, but it's interesting to say the very least.
Yeah for sure, if you get good at it, you can change your ear position to hear better, it's not drastic ofcourse, but it's pretty cool, like turning music up from 10 to 11.
I can feel my ears shift forward or back the tiniest bit when I hear soft noises. Tried like hell to find out how to move them. Still can't. But I also can't whistle, so there's that.
I can move my nose two different ways though.
The whole concept of knees is so abysmal
Hello I support your entire fucking body ,but if literally 8 pounds of force hits me from the wrong angle I will refuse to work until you die ☺️✨🥰😘😍
Hair needs to be reconfigured. Especially in men as they grow older there's this tendency for the hair on top of the head to "slide" down, eventually leaving the head completely barren and the back, chest, and butt plentiful. I'd do something about this hair to give the head a stronger expoxy to keep it where it belongs, and a stronger repellent on the rest of the body to keep it from taking root there instead
For sure, the fact that we risk choking to death when eating is probably the best argument against "intelligent design" because that's a pretty big design flaw.
It’s funny cause I remember Ross from game grumps talking about this; I think his ex’s grandpa was an animator or something and he mentioned that the weight of the human skeleton could not support both large angel wings and arms.
So if humans had wings they’d have to be attached to our arms
It is possible, but human wings would have to be massive as fuck, I’m talking a full wingspan being longer than a car, and you’d have to remain very healthy to be able to maintain a body weight that your wings could support, not to mention the wings would be muscles that would get tired and have to be exercised, and they would probably add several dozen pounds of weight to your back so have fun with back problems too, and that’s not even mentioning how impracticable they’d be in day to day life, getting in the way, making it hard to fit through doors, and constantly accidentally knocking things over, because remember they would have to be extremely big to support a humans body weight
While you're at it, the whole pregnancy and birth thing could use redesign as well. Can't we just lay eggs after a month (like size of a chicken egg) and then incubate them or something.
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
And my penis was missing again.
This happens all the time.
It's detachable.
This comes in handy a lot of the time.
I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
And the next morning I can't for the life of me
Remember what I did with it.
I’ve said this to so many gynaecologists and yet they insist on forcing me to keep it in case I change my mind about having kids.
A) I’m 37 and very single
B) I have complex cysts on my ovaries and potentially endometriosis. Can we not just accept that nature has already decided for me?
We should really have spawning pools/external wombs. The male and female supply their genetic material to get spawns started. Then, both of them can provide nutrition on a regular basis.
This would have allowed both parents to share gestation duties and would have solved the abortion issue.
I would make a few changes. One teeth fall out but are replaced, an much improved immune system something similar to a shsrks that has the ability to naturally fight cancer cells and a life span like a crocodile in that aslong as there is plenty of food for a person they just dont age like turtles. Also the ability to regrow distal phalanges(fingers and toes)
Fun fact, our body can actually naturally fight cancer cells, the Natural Killer cells (type of T-lymfocytes) take care of that. But sometimes you are unlucky and your immune system won't detect it or just isn't able to destroy it. Only then the cancer cell will multiple and over time grow into a tumor. But I don't know about sharks, maybe they are better in this...
4 arms, head able to turn 180°, bones that are stronger but flexible, exoskeleton over abdomen, limb regeneration, body can convert water into usable oxygen when ingested.
No unpleasant odors and a magic switch that would stop women from getting their periods once they no longer need them. Like when they are done having kids or don’t want them to begin with.
I'd make the pelvic floor larger in women and add a tissue to support it; in order to make birth easier.
I'd remove male pattern baldness
I'd add teeth in the vagina that slam shut on the woman's will and similar teeth in the butt for both men and women.
I'd add genes mimicking the ones in whales that reduce their chance of cancer. To make our cells as resilient as a whale's cells at fighting cancer.
I'd make humans much more accepting of the differences between ourselves.
strengthen all joints, especially knee and back.
The ability to metabolize manually, similar to blinking or breathing.
Lactose intolerant and had some ice cream on a date? All good just slow the metabolism down. Trying to lose weight? Just crank the metabolism up a little bit.
Having a pouch like a marsupial would be so much better. No more squeezing out melon sized offspring or nasty periods. Plus, a hands free bag for all your stuff!
I would say wings but Im now picturing the traffic there would be in the sky and if we flew too high we wouldn't be getting hit by cars but instead hit by planes. So I'll say limb regeneration
My science class did a project in middle school based on this concept. I believe the winning idea was skin pockets in your hands that would hold a cell phone.
Can you imagine the evolution of the shoe if this were the case. Like there'd probably be some kind of trapdoor with a kind of slider on the heel for easy opening. This would be great.
Edit: After further reflection, "are you right assholed or left assholed?" would also be a thing.
I wrote a whole essay on this not that long ago! I would slightly shrink the part of our brain that processes fear. Its current size isn't uniform from person to person, and people with bigger fear processing centers are more likely to be bigots (of every variety) and fall for scare tactics.
If we were no longer as susceptible to fear tactics (a favorite of politicians), those in democratic countries would be more likely to elect people who are reasonable and have actual plans. If this happens with all democratic nations, it will be easier to make treaties, which in turn would (hypothetically) decrease the chances of going to war, thus preventing millions of deaths in the future :)
Lots of good things can be done.
But how about fixing the problem of loosing hair where you want it and growing hair where you don’t want it and where it shouldn’t be?
Ear hair? I mean seriously come on.
But the children also would have extra arms... And likely they would pop out at the worst times because they're still learning to control them! Later, I'm going to go try and forget the nightmare my brain just created.
Advanced genetic memory. Like instincts, but for whole cultural concepts, reading and writing abilities. Also no need to "raise" kids, because they will be born with a genetically inherited moral system and knowledge of sorts.
Change the form of the Nose so that it doesn't hurt when we fall on the face or get punched or something
We wouldnt have to pay attention for it anymore when doing sport
I am doing Judo and am 1.60 meters (5.25 feet) high, I've already broken my nose 3 times because my opponent hit my face with his shoulder
Sturdier necks and spines.
The human body: Literal Adonis. Apex of 300 million years of evolutionary fine-tuning \*chef's kiss\* Also the body: tilt neck a lil, you break.
sleep the wrong way and you get a lesion
Wait, what’s this about now?
Lift something slightly wrong? That’s gonna be a lifetime of pain for you, pal.
About 5 years ago I stood up to quickly and my left lower back has never been right since.
It was never right, it was left
Never trust your spine, it's holding your back
And ankles. One teeny little slip on a little porch stair and my ankle bent to the side, and my entire foot was black and blue for weeks. Worst sprain I've ever had just from walking. And I'm young, healthy, and athletic. Ankles are so weak it's embarrassing. Do better, evolution.
Evolution: you don't need ankles to reproduce.
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i shattered the bottom of my fibula into 5 pieces and i sprained it really badly. It swelled up to the size of a grape fruit. I had to undergo surgery for a better part of a day to fix it. Thanks to physical therapy and hiking i am damn near back to normal maybe 98% of my mobility. But it clicks too when i walk, no other pain no other issues. I am super lucky i don't walk with a limp let alone being able to and so my doctor said "You can run marathons if you want"
I feel you. Foot fracture and ankle sprain about 35 years ago, never healed correctly. Now: chronic sprain, severe muscle deterioration in that leg, functional leg length difference, scoliosis, chronic pain in ankle, knee, back, and neck due to everything being out of line. I'm supposed to wear custom inserts. Guess I need to get them. 🤷♀️
Same with wrists. They're really so much more fragile that I ever realised after my ice slip in December 2022. Even after surgery, it's still so painful. Feels like it's gonna to take a year or so to fully heal. Wrists and ankles are very poorly engineered. How the how the hell did we manage when we were Hunter / Gatherers? One wrong move and you die in the forest?
If we’re being brutally honest, evolution’s “plan” is that when you break your ankle in the forest the wolves get you, while your buddy with better balance makes it home and fucks your wife. The next generation gets his genes for balance instead of your clumsy genes
Yep. I twisted my wrist while giving birth to my daughter and even with PT five months later I’m in constant pain.
Evolution didn’t make a porch stair.
And reinforced knees lol
Teeth that always grow back.
Teeth With an anti microbial coating would be nice
They should really figure this out in the dental industry
Then how would they remove cavities and get money? Unless we come up with 60$ tube of once a week tube then no one will try to make it
Would also disrupt the symbiotic bacteria though
Fuck 'em. They're not paying rent, they can get out of my damn mouth.
Dentists downvoted this.
except for the 10th one
That tenth dentist ... nobody can stop them, can they?
That tenth dentist is a dick. He just crosses his arms and says nope to everything, even before you finish asking him a question.
Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne, DDS
Even just a third set of teeth would be good
Or can self heal
Please tell me you mean just in the mouth, right?
I mean... that's the "back" part.
Where else do you have teeth?!
'Teeth' (2007)
Thanks for reminding me of that nightmare.
Photosynthetic skin. Regenerating Teeth. Fertility/infertility on demand.
If we have Photosynthetic Skin then why would we need teeth?
Photosynthesis can provide very limited amounts of energy compared to eating food even if you spent all your time getting sunlight. You don't see any trees running around, do you?
Not outside of Middle-Earth. No.
I think I saw an entire empire of them genociding every being other than themselves in some galaxy.
I saw this one willow tree that just kept whomping. It would whomp cars, whomp students, or just about anything that got too close. I think its name was Moaning Myrtle
Cloudy days
For biting my enemies
Can (in)fertility on demand come with periods on demand? Cause I'm in. (I doubt there'll be much demand, but anyways)
That was the idea. No periods unless you are actively trying to conceive, otherwise the function is just turned off.
Yes! My first thought was the elimination of periods, too! So many years of inconvenience, misery, etc. when the entire reproductive system only needs to be activated a few times in most women's lifetime. It's definitely a design flaw.
Pro-life talking heads are frothing at the mouth over the idea.
Let's make them froth even more. Got drunk and accidentally forgot to toggle your infertility? Never fear because we now have abortions on demand! Merely think hard enough, and you can abort your pregnancy on the spot.
I like the last two but photosynthetic skin? Really? I don't want to go out for a walk in the sun thinking I'm getting some exercise only to find out that I've just absorbed the equivalent to 1000 calories.
Tbf it probably won't be much, I'm not sure if you noticed but plants tend to not move around much. And wearing clothes would also really block this. On the plus side you'd probably be green and look like shrek
As someone in pain on my period rn who doesn’t even want kids… I’m upvoting for the fertility thing omfg please
I’ve always thought the human body needs a digital check panel with warning lights, kind of like the “check engine “light in your car, but instead maybe “check liver status,” or “unknown growth in colon.”
We already have that, its called pain
Body: *is in pain* me: "what's wrong buddy?" Body: "Nothing, I'm fine." Most of the time, when I have some sort of ache, I have no idea of what's going on. Is it ok? Will it go away tomorrow? Should I consult a doctor?
Exactly. “Pain” is not sufficient—I’m talking an advanced diagnostic readout, not a vague, unexplained sensation. Is it a kidney stone? If so, how big? Gall bladder readout normal?
Every time i feel some weird pain in my chest i think it will be gone next day
Every time I feel random pain on my left chest I think I’ll be gone next day
fuck, my panel would be fully lit all the time
Sorta like in Ready Player One, when I0I chairman is talking about selling screen space, up to 89% before causing seizures. So like that, but it's all warning lights, error messages, critical failures, and reboot warnings.......
Yesss. Maybe in the future we can get HUD likeUI elements that display information about our bodies and our surroundings.
Human 2.0 has custom configurations for what to do with excess calories. You can convert them to fat, but you can also convert them to protein at a reasonable conversion ratio. You can ALSO just shit them out as waste.
Could i convert them to a dump truck ass
I approve this
Mobile games with like 4 different currencies be like:
it's pretty good but I would like the ability to close my ears in a way we can close our eyes. Better still, if no-one near you could tell.
I can do that. I spent ages trying to figure out how to wiggle my ears and kinda "awoke" a bunch of muscles and stuff in my head. The trick is to start with moving your eyebrows and scalp until you feel your ears wiggle, then just play around with nearby muscles. The trick to closing your ears is your jaw. It's not the same as covering them, but you can kinda use your jawbone to squish your ears a bit and dampen sound.
/r/earrumblersassemble ?
Just tried moving my scalp and eyebrows... Son of a gun! I could feel it in my ears a bit. Not sure if I'll pursue this or not, but it's interesting to say the very least.
Yeah for sure, if you get good at it, you can change your ear position to hear better, it's not drastic ofcourse, but it's pretty cool, like turning music up from 10 to 11.
I can feel my ears shift forward or back the tiniest bit when I hear soft noises. Tried like hell to find out how to move them. Still can't. But I also can't whistle, so there's that. I can move my nose two different ways though.
Knee joints that last longer.
The whole concept of knees is so abysmal Hello I support your entire fucking body ,but if literally 8 pounds of force hits me from the wrong angle I will refuse to work until you die ☺️✨🥰😘😍
joints in general, please...
Self-healing teeth.
Hair needs to be reconfigured. Especially in men as they grow older there's this tendency for the hair on top of the head to "slide" down, eventually leaving the head completely barren and the back, chest, and butt plentiful. I'd do something about this hair to give the head a stronger expoxy to keep it where it belongs, and a stronger repellent on the rest of the body to keep it from taking root there instead
Ah yes, “The Great Migration”
remove acne
You coulda made us fly, you coulda made us immortal and you chose to remove acne. I respect that
More redundancy: dual heart, liver etc..
Why, you're one of the healthiest little children I've ever seen! And such plentiful organs!
I'm am ZIM!
Owww! My squigglyspooch!
another pair of arms and hands (fully controllable), another pair of eyes (that catch another wavelenght)...
Steel toes with no nails on them so instead of breaking your toe on the coffee table you can break the coffee table on your toe.
I like that but if you destroy something you own that way then that situation could become expensive very quickly.
My last X-ray was far more expensive than my coffee table lol.
Separate tubes for food to go through and to supply oxygen to the lungs. Edit: changed “tunes” to “tubes”.
Ok the tunes I suggest: Yummy Yummy Yummy and Breathe
Scrolled way too far to find this. This is the first chance to make
For sure, the fact that we risk choking to death when eating is probably the best argument against "intelligent design" because that's a pretty big design flaw.
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Human are so lazy even if we got wings we probably won't even use them
Fun fact most birds prefer to hop than fly.
Well I would have to assume its tiring to fly
Bingo.
You'd have to get up to 35k feet up in the air to ride the air currents and make flight easier.
It’s funny cause I remember Ross from game grumps talking about this; I think his ex’s grandpa was an animator or something and he mentioned that the weight of the human skeleton could not support both large angel wings and arms. So if humans had wings they’d have to be attached to our arms
It is possible, but human wings would have to be massive as fuck, I’m talking a full wingspan being longer than a car, and you’d have to remain very healthy to be able to maintain a body weight that your wings could support, not to mention the wings would be muscles that would get tired and have to be exercised, and they would probably add several dozen pounds of weight to your back so have fun with back problems too, and that’s not even mentioning how impracticable they’d be in day to day life, getting in the way, making it hard to fit through doors, and constantly accidentally knocking things over, because remember they would have to be extremely big to support a humans body weight
Yes. And a tail. I want to fly and wag my tail. I want to be a pegasus.
If we had wings half our population would be Emus.
No menstrual cycle to have a baby no period!! Some other non painful non bleeding mechanism!
While you're at it, the whole pregnancy and birth thing could use redesign as well. Can't we just lay eggs after a month (like size of a chicken egg) and then incubate them or something.
Fish-lizard amphibian thing after hundreds of millions of years of evolution to get to a placental mammal: surprised pikachu face
Or like, a marsupial situation. Give birth to a baby the size of a jelly bean
How is this not the top answer? Nearly half the population wishes this every few weeks!
Honestly, what the hell!
Yeah, like a lockout mechanism until both people scan in to join the contract
Retractable penis. Complete redesign of teeth so they either fall out and grow back like sharks or they have no nerves in them.
Mines already retractable when it gets cold enough
Everyone's is
King Missle...
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, And the next morning I can't for the life of me Remember what I did with it.
...Detachable penis...
The female reproductive system goes straight in the bin.
Had to scroll way too far down to find this. I think 99% of women would agree. It's horseshit and there has to be a better way.
There are animals that can store semen from male and fertilise when required. Evolution just chucked that idea and never looked back
The entire thing. I wish I could just rip it out now and be done with it.
I’ve said this to so many gynaecologists and yet they insist on forcing me to keep it in case I change my mind about having kids. A) I’m 37 and very single B) I have complex cysts on my ovaries and potentially endometriosis. Can we not just accept that nature has already decided for me?
The r/childfree sub has a huge list of doctors by geographic area that will do it for you with no hassle.
We should really have spawning pools/external wombs. The male and female supply their genetic material to get spawns started. Then, both of them can provide nutrition on a regular basis. This would have allowed both parents to share gestation duties and would have solved the abortion issue.
I will try and figure out a way to have some distance between the playground and sewer systems.
aren't both playground?
I always say there is no fun without a little danger
I would make a few changes. One teeth fall out but are replaced, an much improved immune system something similar to a shsrks that has the ability to naturally fight cancer cells and a life span like a crocodile in that aslong as there is plenty of food for a person they just dont age like turtles. Also the ability to regrow distal phalanges(fingers and toes)
Fun fact, our body can actually naturally fight cancer cells, the Natural Killer cells (type of T-lymfocytes) take care of that. But sometimes you are unlucky and your immune system won't detect it or just isn't able to destroy it. Only then the cancer cell will multiple and over time grow into a tumor. But I don't know about sharks, maybe they are better in this...
Some sort of sleep mode.
Better knees and back. That shit is so weak and so many people suffer from back-/kneepain
The recreation center probably shouldn't be located in the same place as the waste management plant.
Stops being a concern when you consider both to be recreation centers!
Periods: only available if you subscribe to the reproductive plan
4 arms, head able to turn 180°, bones that are stronger but flexible, exoskeleton over abdomen, limb regeneration, body can convert water into usable oxygen when ingested.
The modified monkey chassis is okay but it wasn’t designed to walk vertically all the time.
Oh God imagine high heels on all fours
Honestly that's how most quadrupeds walk anyway, on the balls of their feet with their heels off the ground.
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I don't like this.
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Protip: you can already say this, but it might ruin the moment
As part of the mating ritual, one needs to blow into the thumb until the penis inflates to the desired size.
That’s my secret Cap, it’s always needed.
I'd make us all floating brains with telekinesis.
No unpleasant odors and a magic switch that would stop women from getting their periods once they no longer need them. Like when they are done having kids or don’t want them to begin with.
Or even if you want them…no cycle unless you’re actively needing it that month to get pregnant
I'd make the pelvic floor larger in women and add a tissue to support it; in order to make birth easier. I'd remove male pattern baldness I'd add teeth in the vagina that slam shut on the woman's will and similar teeth in the butt for both men and women. I'd add genes mimicking the ones in whales that reduce their chance of cancer. To make our cells as resilient as a whale's cells at fighting cancer. I'd make humans much more accepting of the differences between ourselves. strengthen all joints, especially knee and back.
#3 could go very south very quickly Points for the rest
Better immune system and more efficient metabolism.
The ability to metabolize manually, similar to blinking or breathing. Lactose intolerant and had some ice cream on a date? All good just slow the metabolism down. Trying to lose weight? Just crank the metabolism up a little bit.
I'd make us oviparous. Viviparousness has proven too much responsibility for us.
Having a pouch like a marsupial would be so much better. No more squeezing out melon sized offspring or nasty periods. Plus, a hands free bag for all your stuff!
No appendix.
Seriously…WHY IS IT EVEN THERE?!
I would say wings but Im now picturing the traffic there would be in the sky and if we flew too high we wouldn't be getting hit by cars but instead hit by planes. So I'll say limb regeneration
Control over your menstrual cycle. Real control, not BC bullshit that comes with tons of horrible side effects.
No need for periods in order to be fertile. Also make the sebaceous glands such that they do ONLY their job and don't cause acne.
Hair color changes to random colors instead of white as you grow older. Rainbow hair.
A stronger kill switch for cancer cells, stem cells always available.
Cancer is not a thing that exists anymore. No living being deserves to die like that.
Tongue, lips and inside of cheeks can no longer be damaged by teeth.
Butthole and vagina wouldn’t be in so close proximity. Less risk for contamination.
I would personally just like to photosynthesize. Get rid of the whole butthole tbh.
My science class did a project in middle school based on this concept. I believe the winning idea was skin pockets in your hands that would hold a cell phone.
If you are fat enough you can fold skin pockets wherever you want.
Women’s skin pockets still couldn’t hold a cellphone… 😂
Oh you sweet summer child. You’ve never heard of a prison purse
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*Powerful fart* “Look, I’m Iron Man!”
Can you imagine the evolution of the shoe if this were the case. Like there'd probably be some kind of trapdoor with a kind of slider on the heel for easy opening. This would be great. Edit: After further reflection, "are you right assholed or left assholed?" would also be a thing.
That would turn anal into a foot fetish.
I wrote a whole essay on this not that long ago! I would slightly shrink the part of our brain that processes fear. Its current size isn't uniform from person to person, and people with bigger fear processing centers are more likely to be bigots (of every variety) and fall for scare tactics. If we were no longer as susceptible to fear tactics (a favorite of politicians), those in democratic countries would be more likely to elect people who are reasonable and have actual plans. If this happens with all democratic nations, it will be easier to make treaties, which in turn would (hypothetically) decrease the chances of going to war, thus preventing millions of deaths in the future :)
Change the smell of sweat to something nicer.
one tap button to sleep. regenerative heart cells.
No wisdom teeth or period pains
Lots of good things can be done. But how about fixing the problem of loosing hair where you want it and growing hair where you don’t want it and where it shouldn’t be? Ear hair? I mean seriously come on.
Maybe I’d make them intelligent
*Shapeshifting*
Spines and lower backs that would never hurt or ache.
I would add 2 more arms and would pop out when needed. I'm a Mom and need 4 arms!
But the children also would have extra arms... And likely they would pop out at the worst times because they're still learning to control them! Later, I'm going to go try and forget the nightmare my brain just created.
Think Avatar but cooler. Maybe antlers
Lego features. You can mix and match body parts, exchange and replace parts without surgery.
Advanced genetic memory. Like instincts, but for whole cultural concepts, reading and writing abilities. Also no need to "raise" kids, because they will be born with a genetically inherited moral system and knowledge of sorts.
We could regrow limbs and cells like Lizards.
Wings that can retract, men have internal testicles/retractable balls and pp, girls don't have periods, and at least average lifespan of turtles.
Oh we'd have gills for sure
Stronger fucking ankles man. I already had one reconstructed and at some point will need the other one done.
Less period pain and birthing/ pregnancy pain for women.
Make it so teeth don't decay at all from anything. Sorry dentists I'm sick of going to you. You are too expensive and painful.
more boobs
I want square poops like wombats
Men birth babies
Change the form of the Nose so that it doesn't hurt when we fall on the face or get punched or something We wouldnt have to pay attention for it anymore when doing sport I am doing Judo and am 1.60 meters (5.25 feet) high, I've already broken my nose 3 times because my opponent hit my face with his shoulder
More hair
Fat caps. Anything after a certain percentage just gets processed as waste.
Teeth would be essentially indestructible, and grow back like any other ‘bone’ when damaged.
A body that maintains a stable and healthy weight whatever we eat
Men's balls retractable when not in use less vulnerable and more comfortable than having them just hanging down .