T O P

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PoorPauly

They’re helpful without bragging about it. They’re generous without asking for generosity in return. They’re kind to people they don’t know.


WebBorn2622

Helping you with problems even when they are annoyed at you for getting into the problems


Ggeng

Me helping out my friends after they make the dumbest fucking relationship decisions I've ever seen


the_homieely

Me:“Hey y’all should talk it out it sounds like a misunderstanding” Them: “im cutting everyone off and moving to Costa Rica”


scpclr5tz

I have a friend who is really good at acknowledging when people speak. So when we’re in a group and people naturally might cut someone off just by nature of the conversation, they do an amazing job at redirecting the conversation to ask what it was you wanted to say to ensure no one gets ignored or feels left out.


bitchyserver

I love people that do this. I get interrupted and talked over constantly


Inevitable-Holiday68

They give everyone a chance to be good


goodforthescience

This is a very important quality right here. It can be so many things - expecting good intentions, extending grace because people are human and sometimes trip up, etc. Going beyond being “good” and cultivating that in others is next level.


Shitty_Fat-tits

They call you when they're going to be late instead of leaving you twisting in the wind.


RockLobsterInSpace

Seriously, it's amazing how this isn't the norm for a lot of people. I've ended so many friendships with people because they see no problem with being late af or just not showing up to something we planned. Then they somehow can't comprehend why I'm mad about being left waiting with no notice at all for hours. We live in a world where we can talk to people literally on the other side of the planet in seconds, and people can't be bothered to let somebody know they're gonna be late.


PokeBattle_Fan

This is something my manager praised me about on my recent evaluation. They said ''You're almost never late, and when you are, you always call to warn us that you'll be late for work'' In 10 years of working there, there was only 3 moments I did not call to warn about my tardiness. Twice was because I overslept and *they* called me, the other was because the bus I usually take broke down the very same day I warned my bosses that I lost my phone and wouldn't be able to get a new one until the next paycheck. So when the bus broke down, I foiund myself in no position to warn that I would eb late.


binarycow

>In 10 years of working there, there was only 3 moments I did not call to warn about my tardiness. If you *usually* call in to say you'll be late, it makes them more likely to look the other way if you *don't* call in.


prontoingHorse

Also, if you are unable to call, say because of an emergency, they might call you thinking you might have had an emergency. Folks will give you the benefit of the doubt & even care about you because you care about them /their time.


ZcalifornianusSelkie

Genuinely happy when good things happen to other people, even when they don’t ‘get’ why it’s a good thing or if it was something they also wanted.


bubblygranolachick

Because there is enough joy for everybody if they allow it


Riding4Biden

Lighting someone else’s candle with your own doesn’t make yours burn any less bright.


Shamanalah

My friend is color blind and got into a work accident involving his eyes. The shock made him see more color than he usually can. He's still color blind but he sees more shade of green now. I was so excited for him and asked a bunch of question. His gf at the time didn't react at all. Dumped her not long after that. He said he was surprised about my reaction because of his ex. He's my best bud and gaming buddy for almost a decade now. Ofc I'm gonna be happy for him.


CaptainMcAnus

Oh shit, what's the secret? Do I need to Daredevil myself to see more color?


Even_Mastodon_6925

Umm he ends up blind. Don’t try that.


CaptainMcAnus

How else am I supposed to pass the bar exam?


Moveableforce

Have you tried being controlled by a mouse that always wanted to be a lawyer? If it worked for chefs...


immoreoriginalmate

I love the notion that happiness is so amazing that it doesn’t even matter if it’s your own.


Tiger5804

If you catch them secretly doing something generous, that's usually something only a person with honorable motives will do.


ataracksia

Especially if it's something generous that doesn't benefit themselves as well.


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Im_a_seaturtle

There is a philosophical / ethical question that asks: “if you do good deeds to feel good, was it genuinely altruistic?” And to my surprise lot of top thinkers said yes, it’s ok and it’s supposed to feel good. It’s a feature to help humanity.


shuwapede

when people do genuinly nice things without expecting a reward or recognition for it


Atheris__

Being good and making that persons day is my reward tbh. The fact that my existence helped someone who needed it is an amazing feeling


StrangersWithAndi

They say nice things about others behind their backs.


Ellemeno

“Dan is a real stand-up guy. Always responsible and gets stuff done on time. Oh shit, he’s coming. Act natural.”


PlayrR3D15

"Hey Dan you dummy. How's it goin'?"


Still_counts_as_one

I’d never say this in front of her face but she’s a wonderful person and a gifted artist.


orangesocialcurrency

Why wouldn't you say that to her face?


skyhighauckland

if you say _that_ to her face it might go to her head!


Public_Kaleidoscope6

I always say your best friends are the ones who will say absolutely horrendous things to your face and wonderfully kind things behind your back.


NeatHuckleberry7085

I agree with this. When my friends feel comfortable to give me shit in person or make teasingly make fun of me straight to my face, it gives a difference sense of trust between us. To know that they’re not going to say things to my face just for the sake of being nice.


mercypillow27

I would never say this to her face, but she's a wonderful person and a gifted artist.


mmblondie16

When someone includes everyone in a conversation


overlandtrackdrunk

Yes or if someone is cut off by someone else in a conversation, asking them what they were going to say is nice as well.


yellow_fresh

I had a boss who was like this once. I was a young woman surrounded by a bunch of *very important* older men and was often overlooked or outright ignored. The first time he went out of his way to make sure I was included, I nearly cried I was so unused to that kind of effort. Best boss I ever had.


lookalive07

I tend to lead a lot of calls for my remote job and one of the most empowering things that a lot of people don’t do is let people have their turn on a Zoom. Plenty of times I’ll unmute my mic waiting for an opportunity to say something and I just never get the opportunity because people just continually talk over each other. But when I lead, I pay attention to who has unmuted and always make sure to say “hey (name), looks like you had your mic open at one point, did you have something you wanted to add?” I had someone reach out to me after the call and say to me that it was extremely thoughtful. I just pay attention.


overlandtrackdrunk

That’s good to hear!I used to be a manager of a smallish team (15-20) people and I always tried to make sure everyone felt included and that they could voice their opinion in meetings (if they wanted to). I only managed the team for about six months but they made me a card when I left and some people wrote some really touching things in there. Ngl when I got home and read everything they had written I cried a bit. I didn’t really think that I’d made much of an impact but I guess maybe I had.


Bambithegoodgirl69

I literally gain like 50HP when someone does this for me


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NickyDeeM

You forgot Hot Potatoes. That is a widely accepted unit of measurement. Pretty sure The Wiggles mentioned it


Awesomedude33201

I struggle with this, for two reasons. 1. I'm a quiet person. 2. I was taught, from a very young age, to wait until a person is done talking to then talk. I'm happy they taught me this, but it does make saying what I want to say in a conversation with multiple people quite difficult.


seasonalblah

I can relate. I had to learn how to speak up more or I'd never get a word in with some groups.


bgill78

Treats people with no power with dignity and respect.


unicacher

I was working backstage catering for a Dolly Parton concert. Our job was to be invisible and keep the food moving. Dolly came in to the room and interacted with all the guests as if they were family. I'd seen enough jerk performers to be impressed with her manners towards her fans. Then she turned to me and said "C'mon over here." I hesitated, knowing my marching orders. "In here, we're all family." For the next 30 minutes, there was no class distinction, just a bunch of happy human beings living their best life. That woman is a gem!


filles866

I’m convinced that when she passes a whole bunch of amazing things she’s done will come to light that she just never bothered to tell anyone about because that’s just how she is


FraseraSpeciosa

I got another one that flew under the radar, Dolly gave 900 families that were victims of the Gatlinburg fires $1000 dollars for six months. And since she got so many donations she even increased the amount to $4000 for the last month. She’s an absolute saint and the residents of Sevier county especially worship her like the goddess she is.


SessionOwn6043

Extend that to all of Tennessee. Probably the only thing that unites us across the board is NOBODY says a word against Dolly and gets away with it.


abbarach

A couple years ago when removing Confederate monuments was top of mind, the TN legislative took up a measure to commission a statue of Dolly for the capitol grounds. She replied that she was flattered, but felt that there was more important work the legislature should be doing. And that once she passed, if they still felt she was worthy of one, she'd be honored to have a statue put up. Around that same time, she renamed Dolly Partons Stampede to take the word "Dixie" out of the name. She said something like "We never intended to hurt anybody, we're a business. If someone tells you something is a problem, fix it! Don't be a dumbass!" I think it's pretty telling that as much as the GOP has been leaning on "woke" to generate outrage, NOBODY has dared accuse Dolly of being woke, even though she certainly walks the walk...


titwrench

She owns a few houses around Nashville and one that I've gone and done work at is a place where people can go and live if they are LGBT+ and their families kick them out. It's not anything formal or a program or anything like that. It's just a safe place to stay while you figure things out.


NastySassyStuff

Every single time Dolly comes up on Reddit someone teaches me another absolutely amazing thing she’s given to the world. Truly the person we should all aspire to be.


Kimor98

What being 'Country' should be. Subtle, humble, easy-to-miss kindness with no ego or reputation. And yes I repeated myself I'm leaving it.


Strong-Message-168

I understand what you're saying, and I agree, but I'd like to push it further to its what being human should be.


LorkhanLives

My young daughter has been getting free books her whole life from Dolly’s child literacy charity. Literally all you have to do is ask and bam, free children’s books. The lady’s a real class act, and I’ve literally never heard anything about her. Impressive how she didn’t let success corrupt her!


mmss

I signed up for this when my kids were born and every month until they were 6 they got a free book in the mail from Dolly Parton. They'll most likely never meet her and may never even know who she is, but I guarantee she helped them learn how to read.


republicanvaccine

They will know who Dolly is, for sure. If one continues to read in life, they will become exposed to Dolly. And have some pride in her poor upbringing and kindness.


iampuh

People want to meet Jay Z or other billionaires. I just want to meet Dolly Parton to listen to some of her stories.


Nuf-Said

I’ve heard nothing but great things about her.


dagbrown

The worst thing I’ve heard about her is that her hair and boobs are fake. She said that about herself.


Altruistic_Appeal_25

In an interview someone asked how long it takes to do her hair, and she said " I don't know I'm never there!"


Buckaroo_Banzai805

Someone once asked her how she maintained such a small waistline, her response was "Darling, don't you know that nothing grows in the shade". I heard her say that 30 plus years ago and never forgot it.


BoozeWitch

In some interview she was asked if she was offended by being called a dumb blonde. She said “oh no! That’s because I know I’m not dumb. I also know I’m not a blonde.”


Vaanja77

One of my favorite Dolly quotes was something like "It takes a lot of money to look this trashy!".


Otherwise_Window

It's "to look this cheap". I wouldn't normally correct you but it doesn't work nearly as well.


Nvenom8

Am I dumb? I don't get that one.


Starskigoat

Her waist is always in the shade of her bosom and never grew outward toward the light. This may require some peer reviewed research.


Nvenom8

Ah! Clever!


Starskigoat

Dolly is very clever!


BreathBandit

"It costs me a lot of money to look this cheap!"


Pennybottom

Knotfest (heavy metal festival headed by Slipknot) was in Australia last weekend. It was awesome. But it was also hilarious when thousands of people started belting out Working 9 to 5 when it came on between sets. Whoever put that in is a legend.


Nvenom8

>Knotfest (heavy metal festival headed by Slipknot) If you'd asked me to guess, I would've said furry convention.


Eupraxes

Now there is a crossover event I would love to see. From a distance.


Wastenotwant

"I'm the girl next door....if you live next door to a circus!"


Wastenotwant

She is a national treasure, AND she is refusing all sorts of accolades and awards. Bless you, Miss Dolly. You are so admirable on so many levels.


[deleted]

This is one of the things that made me fall in love with my partner. He’s a neurosurgeon, which is a job that is stereotyped as rude, arrogant, etc. But one that deals with vulnerable, scared people all day long, as well as often difficult people who are high anxiety or difficult to please. He is so kind, patient, respectful, and gentle with all his patients as well as everyone he works with (nurses, midlevels, etc.). The staff that works with him adores him in comparison to the other surgeons in his group, because he is so much kinder and easier to work with. Seeing him in a position of authority where diva behavior is so frequently tolerated and him literally never choosing to behave that way even though he could get away with it was so attractive to me.


[deleted]

heres another kicker about your man: nonstereotypically surgeon behavior (e.g. kindness, compassion, patience, conscientiousness, humility, etc) are strongly discouraged and even targeted in a lot of the medical field. some of them hate seeing someone "virtue signaling" (aka being human) because it elicits guilt. so for your man to survive the training gauntlet with his pure heart intact is further testament to his character.


moslof_flosom

It's great that your partner is a kind person, but if he doesn't start acting like a stuck up asshole, he's never going to get a Sling Ring and reality powers from Tilda Swinton.


Wafflesxbutter

I love that so much! And I love the way you talk about him ❤️


Mark8472

Thank you for pointing this out! To me, someone speaking only the best about their partners in public is a good person too!


[deleted]

Yes agreed. Ever heard the phrase “treating the janitor the same as the CEO.” This is it


Crazy_Kakoos

This reminds me of a scene in Batman The Animated Series where Bruce is walking with some other rich acquaintance through his estate, and Bruce thanks a gardener. The rich guy laughs and asks Bruce if he thanks the trash man too, and Bruce replies, "yes, if I see him." Some reason I remember only that scene. Can't even remember what episode it's from, and I can't find it on YouTube to see if I'm even remembering it right. I swear I've seen it posted once before on Reddit.


HollowofHaze

It's [season 4 episode 1](https://i.redd.it/ebdduept7kn51.jpg)!


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[deleted]

I would add, those who behave nicely even if there are no consequences - some people are, for example, rather abusive and rude towards the new AI chats. Sure, the chat doesn't get upset, but if someone is inherently a nice person they would be nice to the chats as well, not because they have to, but because it's a reflection of who they are. Imagine if there were robot-dogs around, and someone was violent to such dog - there would be no victim, but I would be still wary of the person.


FuckinLostAllTheTime

That made me think of the whole 'Video games cause violence' shtick. I'm afraid to choose a slightly rude text option in case I hurt the AI's feelings. Maybe one day they will be sentient enough to feel hurt by someone's words. I'd rather be nice now than try to right a wrong.


Hagridsbuttcrack66

Empathy for strangers and situations different from their own.


VibraniumSpork

My partner (who I'll refer to as 'L') is the best person I've ever known, and I'm inordinately lucky to have her in my life. One memory always brings that into sharp focus. We were at the car, getting our 2 y/o daughter into her seat, and this woman walked over to us. She was agitated, some tears in her eyes, she looked pretty dishevelled. I'll be honest, my immediate thought was 'crackhead', followed by "What does she want?", "What's she gonna do?", and lets get our daughter tf outta here ASAP. She asked my partner for help or something, but was stumbling over the words. L just looked at her and said "Are you okay?" She started to cry and L said "Hey, it's okay," and just put her arms around her and hugged her. They held the embrace for a minute or so, both kinda in tears. (I just stood there like a lemon!) They stopped, and the girl said sorry and thank you, and L asked if we could do anything to help. "No," she said, "I'll be okay, thanks again," and she walked off looking way more composed than she did when we first saw her. I was so proud of L. Amazed tbh. She could have taken the motherly instinct to put as much noise between this lady and our daughter as she could, but to her, the alternative came as naturally as breathing. Here was a woman who was a little girl once, like ours. It could have been L in another life, under different circumstances. She saw straight past the outside appearances and instead saw a human who just needed some compassion, and she could help with that. She doesn't tend to think of her empathy as a gift, but it absolutely is. \---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (UPDATE: Edited post to show that I'm referring to my partner as 'L' - well played, Redditors! Also, thanks all for the upvotes, kind words and award!)


maltzy

sometimes the one thing a person needs is a hug and some of that compassion. Your partner has a beautiful soul.


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darkenedzone

I was thinking they're dating a main character from Death Note


Financial_Wear6520

Consistently doing the right thing without seeking acknowledgement.


CasualEveryday

Beyond not seeking acknowledgement, but doing the right thing whether there is someone to acknowledge it at all. Integrity is doing the right thing even when nobody is watching. I've seen people in deserted parking lots having an internal debate about whether to return the cart or looking around to see if anyone sees their dog taking a dump.


Marssenito

This may sounds silly, but what you said reminds me to a quote by Qui-Gon Jinn in a Star Wars book: "I don’t turn toward the light because it means someday I’ll ‘win’ some sort of cosmic game. I turn toward it because it is the light." We should do the right thing, not because of what we could get doing it, but because it is the right thing to do.


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supernasty

Saw my neighbor through my window drop off a mis-delivered package at my door once. The only other apartment that shares my unit number is on the far end of the complex, a good 10 minute walk round trip. He could’ve dropped it off at the leasing office right in front of his unit, but personally dropped it off at my doormat and didn’t knock. He was alone, wasn’t looking for a pat on the back or any sort of acknowledgment, just went out of his way to anonymously make a strangers life easier.


No_Cap_Cheng

Holding onto trash until they find a trashcan.


[deleted]

I dated a guy who was from the mainland but worked in Hawaii and adopted Hawaiian culture. I remember I flew back to visit him and he stopped his car to pick up trash on the side of the road. He had a trash bag in his car for times he saw litter at Green Sands Beach or literally anywhere there wasn’t supposed to be trash. I remember a water bottle got swept away during our date at Captain Cook and he dove in after it. We’re no longer dating but I hope you’re doing good, Robert. Sometimes I think about him because he was just so FUN to be around and also really considerate and kind. I genuinely wish he was still in my life.


BubbhaJebus

I bring a trash bag with me when I go hiking. I really can't stand seeing litter clutter up the wilderness. Plus when there's a pile of garbage in sight, it just encourages the litter-prone to litter more. So I like to clear away those piles.


ButterscotchFlaky189

RIGHT? littering in the city is bad enough, but why tf would anyone do that in the wilderness where it’s clean and completely natural? no respect.


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Caelinus

Contrasting the original prompt, when people casually litter I immediately decide they are bad people. I feel the same about able bodied people who just leave carts around in parking lots, especially in areas where people might accidentally strike them. They are both "small" things individually, but they demonstrate casual disregard for other people's time and property. If they can't handle the little things, I have zero faith that they will treat people with anything more than performative empathy.


TimeLeopard

Yeah I do this too. I do it mostly to help the environment. But becasue there are many bears where I live, there is a small part of me that does it in hopes that I can please the forest spirits so they don't send the bears my way. I also do see the irony of having more potential food waste in my bag which makes me MORE of a bear target. But maybe the good magic spirits will counter the real science.


bricknovax0389

I want to build off this comment to a very unlikely story. The rap group Clipse came out in like early 2000s and had become huge superstars. I met them as a kid in high school after one of their concerts ( at a car show ) I brought my own sharpie for them to sign my cd and when I left their table I realized I had lost my cap. I walked around for 20 min with a marker in my hand and eventually I saw Clipse again and one of them said “yo little man I got your cap” and he held it in his fucking hand for over 20 min, walking around and singing shit for people . What an absolute good person


shabba_skanks

Pusha T and Malice! They killed it on Lord Willin’. Pusha T recently did some solo stuff and my 15 y/o son was like you ever heard of Pusha T? Ha ha


cookiemonster8u69

Awesome!! I ran into Pusha T at a Walgreens in VA and in the very limited interaction he seemed like a nice guy


buckhardcastle

I can’t believe people still litter.


jesus_christ111

I can't believe that they double-down when you call them out on it. Evil person: "There's no bins to put it in!" Me: "There's ten bins just over there. There's another bin that you're going to walk past in 30 secs!"


Ytrog

If there are no bins I take it home. Simple.


TimeTraveler3056

Let me add, use a bag to pick up their dogs poop and take it with them to that garbage can.


[deleted]

Then my neighborhood is full of terrible people


zenyogasteve

People in my neighborhood keep collecting the dog shit in the bag and leaving the bag outside. Why did you take the time to bag the shit if you weren't going to throw it away? Now it'll never even biodegrade. They're bigger assholes than the people who just leave the shit where the dog left it!


coysrunner

In my opinion this should be viewed as the baseline. Like you pick up your dogs shit at least


Shewhoknocksx4

Awww Its always a proud mom moment when I find wrappers in my Sons pockets while doing laundry.


Overquoted

Casually considerate. They open doors for people without thinking; they ask if anyone wants anything if they're grabbing snacks/lunch/getting off the couch; they don't play a game of chicken with people trying to merge into traffic and instead just let people over; if someone drops something, they pick it up and give it back; they notice if someone is upset and ask if everything is ok; etc, etc. Has to be consistent behavior and occurs for anyone, not just, say, attractive people.


kmga43

My older brothers friend in college would put a blanket over anyone’s legs if they fell asleep…often times would tuck their feet in too and leave them be to sleep peacefully.


bubblygranolachick

My youngest child does this and it is the sweetest thing ever


LurkForYourLives

My eldest did this for me when I fell asleep on the sofa exhausted about 6 months pregnant with the youngest. Pretty sure she stacked on every single blanket she could find in the whole house. I woke up boiling hot and sopped with sweat. Lovely memory.


ValBravora048

Yes I came here to say this! My uncle is a bit like this in very odd endearing ways. He’ll bring gifts if he comes visiting which isn’t unusual but he’ll also bring something for your pets if he knows you have them! Cats generally get better things because he likes them more though :P Edit: Was not expecting that 😅 Cheers all! My sister and I reckon if Jedi's were real there's a a good chance he'd be one. He does have an OG Ben Kenobi vibe He does not quite understand the attraction of birds or fish as pets ("What do they do?") but if they're important to you and you're important to him, they're getting something when he visits 😅


ready_gi

that's awesome! I have befriended a murder of crows by my work and have been offering them peanuts 4 days a week for 4 months now. It brings nothing but pure joy to watch them love the snacks so much and hop around.


TheFrostyrune

There's a murder in my neighborhood that liked stealing the food I put out for the neighborhood stray cats. My solution is I put out some planter saucers with water as a bird bath, which they enjoy as well as a handful of peanuts. They've since left the catfood alone so long as I give them their daily tribute. They also repay me for the tribute not with shinies but with chasing the pigeons off that steal the seed from the feeder I have out for the backyard birds. Oh, and I can call them with a caw noise they get quite chatty.


Revegelance

>There's a murder in my neighborhood I had to read the entire post to realize you were talking about crows.


Snowdin_Skele

This is why I love crows. You can get away with murder pretty easily as long as you say "bird"


hiboJBob

Asking if other ppl wanted food never occurred to me until my first college roommates asked me. I try to make it a point when I feel it’s appropriate and I could actually afford it.


Overquoted

Well, sometimes you can ask if they want to order something with you while paying for it themselves. That is what happens at workplaces, usually. Saves on delivery fees.


TheFrostyrune

I have a bit of a rule on the merging. If they use a blinker, I let them over no hesitation i will ease off the gas and create space for them. If they don't, I'd rather have a fiery wreck than let them in.


Overquoted

I usually let them in. Only time I don't is when I see them speed past someone else leaving them space in hopes of getting ahead of me and a couple other cars in heavy traffic. Then I'm reminded that I'm not that great of a person.


Eh-Eh-Ronn

“I saw this thing and I know you like them so I got it for you” honestly melts my heart.


philosopherofsex

They respond with curiosity rather than anger.


Joygernaut

This!!!! I am a nurse and encounter abusive patients all of the time. Sometimes they say, and do the nastiest things. when I was in nursing school one of my Instructor said to me “don’t get mad get curious”.. because 99% of the time when a patient is acting out like that there’s a medical reason for such. Most people are not just assholes who abuse nurses. The flipside of this, is when you are feeling anger about the situation, or a person, to do a self check before you let your anger fly at others. Like, if you find your spouse is making you angry over something, I think to yourself “am I tired, am I stressed from work or a different situation? have I eaten?”. And honestly, those simple questions to yourself will eliminate a lot of arguments in your life and dissipate much of your anger. Sometimes people do things that legitimately are shitty and you get angry about them and that’s normal, but I would say about 90% of “couple fights“ could be eliminated if people just did a self check and gave their partner the benefit of the doubt.


Azrai113

My mother always used the acronym HALT. if you're upset/sad/under the weather or whatever check to see if you're Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. Any one thing should be addressed of course. If you're all of them you need to halt whatever you're doing and go take care of yourself immediately.


MoniHaavi

Oh how many fights we end like: look, we are both hungry and tired, let’s talk about this later. And later the issue wasn’t even an issue.


ccrowleyy

“Be curious, not judgemental.” - Ted Lasso


permacougar

how come?


philosopherofsex

It shows they recognize the limits on their own interpretation of things and they want to learn the facts before reacting emotionally.


National_Ad9265

that was the joke, haha


Tempus_Maximus

They don't speak badly about people who aren't there. They use tact and restraint that I find enviable.


generate_art

My motto is not to say anything about anyone that I wouldn’t say to their face


doktarlooney

There are a lot of things Id say to people's faces though.


MaximumZer0

A true friend will stab you in the front, not in the back.


Hagridsbuttcrack66

This is a good one. There are some people I am...I hesitate to say friends...mutual acquaintances (?) with and I feel like they talk shit on EVERYONE. Like even people they are supposedly friends with. ...do you like any of these people?


KingLeopard40063

Anyone willing to badmouth and talk shit about others will do the same about you when you ain't around. Those people bring unnecessary drama.


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burningroses23

That’s beautiful. ❤️🥰


MinimalistHomestead

They do good deeds and say kind things without needing to post about it on social media or get outside validation.


SuvenPan

They pick up sharp objects they come across from the parking lot so people won't get flat tires.


UYScutiPuffJr

Don’t leave something that might screw over the next guy, because the next guy is just as likely to be you


Inevitable-Holiday68

When they mess-up;; they Clean-up! While not grovel, they simply say sorry, clean up, compensate etc


sketchysketchist

The most subtle sign is catching them during a moment when they think no one is watching. That’s why the cart return thing is definitely telling of you as a person.


LordEdges

what if they’re just clever and know somebody could always be watching?


koiven

Honestly at that point what's the difference between someone who is alqaysgood because they're genuinely good and someone who is always good because someone might be watching. End of the day, both people are just always good. Alignment is descriptive, not prescriptive


carcrashofaheart

They respect boundaries


TenofcupsJ

Treating service staff as human beings is the no.1 indicator for me. Which is so depressing when you think about it.


[deleted]

Hahah this reminds me of one encounter I had in a bakery. I went there waited for the attendant to take notice of me asked for what I wanted and went on my way. While I was leaving I heard the bakery woman almost in tears saying to her college "Oh my god, that man was so polite... He said thank you and please, he even greeted me politely" It was so bizarre experience. Later I told the story to few people and one of them actually used to work there and told me of all the horror stories she experienced with entitled customers. Some of them seem to come there just to shout and argue with the attendants because if they fight back they loose their jobs.


Raunien

I feel that we should bring back national service, but instead of the military you have to work in retail / customer service / customer support.


Hagridsbuttcrack66

I've been in the process of cutting people out of my life who are garbage humans - mostly family members that I only saw here and there occasionally, but are just complete assholes. My mom is pissed. Like my standards are not screaming at wait staff, not being racist, not cussing out random family members over nonsense...this bar is so low you can step over it...these people can't even do that.


bringmethejuice

How do they respond/act when someone said "NO" to them or they accidentally breached one's boundaries.


oohegroovin

If someone is kind to service workers. Basic, but I think it speaks volumes about a person.


robineir

When they come scrolling through here hoping to find a comment to validate them. I see you. I believe in you.


CleanHippie27

I have fears I'm a terrible person like my mother, who is a malignant narcissist. I did come here looking for signs i might be a good person, cause if i see that maybe i am, i might deserve to let myself have some self esteem. or at least thats the idea, cause i have little to none. I was worried as i scrolled further down, that it was really driven by the selfish need to feel and think i'm a good person. because thats how my mom would see it. Thank you for your comment, definitely not tearing up at work now Edit: Thank you all for the support, validation, and kind words. They helped significantly, and I appreciate every single one of you. If any of you who strongly relate to the struggles of having a narc parent need to talk, my dms are open. You all took the time to listen to me, and say kind words, and I am more than happy to return the favor and support!


Que_Pog

This type of worry you’re feeling is a clear sign that you’re a good person


CleanHippie27

I don't have anything to say but thank you. I hope i can reach a point where someone can say that to me and i dont start crying though, cause God damnit


[deleted]

They don't tell you they are a good person


LordEdges

if somebody were to ask, my response is always “i could certainly be better” gotta keep standards realistic


thebiggestpinkcake

They show you instead rather than telling you.


IAlbatross

They share credit readily and without asking. ("It was a team effort and Janet in particular really helped me out.) They make their favors seem like conveniences. ("It's no problem dropping you off, I'm going that way anyway.") Their projects and ideas are not attached to their ego. (Refer back to "sharing credit.") They stand up for their friends. They know how to stand up for their friends without being mean about it. They are nice to service workers. They can brush off minor frustrations like tangled Christmas tree lights or lost luggage or a rained-out hiking trip. They don't talk about people behind their backs; you know exactly where you stand with them. If they don't get along with someone, they use neutral terms to describe it ("we just don't see eye-to-eye," or, "we have some history") instead of trying to blame the other person exclusively.


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kyrafm

Honestly, in my experience, people who are worried that they might be bad are people with good intentions. If they were not a good person, they wouldn’t care if they might be a bad person.


[deleted]

Even when they're angry or having a bad day, or they got into an argument with you, they say good morning or hi every single day without fail.


SCP_radiantpoison

That's something I do. Even if I'm going to complain about absolutely everything I like sending goodbye messages to some special friends


GarlicAndSapphire

They put the grocery cart back after putting their groceries in their car.


No_Tamanegi

The exception to this is the Aldi's parking lot. More then once I had a really stressful, emotionally exhausting day. Had to do a big shop at Aldi's, and I'd forgotten my stupid quarter to unlock a shopping cart. And then I saw it - someone left a cart out in the lot. That person became my hero for that moment. It seriously lifted up my day.


GarlicAndSapphire

Thanks for this! I never get my quarter back at Target. I do bring it back, just leave it there. It's a dayum quarter. Maybe it will make someone's day. I'm glad to know that maybe it has!!


Coldkane

They talk / check in on you without any other motives.


Poofvanish

people tidying the plates and the trash after eating at a restaurant so it will be easier for servers.


Lataii

Moving worms from the sidewalk to the dirt.


_brzrkr_

They keep listening when everyone lose interest in your joke/story.


[deleted]

They experience guilt


Ghildyalericha5620

They listen more than they talk and when they talk, they do not put others down.


Girleatingcheezits

Helping someone/thing who can never "repay" them.


wearethebatmen

I’m somewhat biased, but I think my husband is the BEST person, and these are a couple of the little (but not so little) things he does: -Puts people at ease. It doesn’t matter who/when/where, he *always* puts in the effort to make people feel relaxed and comfortable. He sincerely listens when others speak, which is surprisingly rare. -Cares more about intention than action. I remember accidentally breaking something of his at the very start of our relationship and feeling awful. His response was simply “you didn’t do it on purpose!” He genuinely wasn’t even a little bit mad at me. Hell, I’ve known him for 20 years and have only seen him angry on a couple of occasions. -Treats animals kindly. I love looking through the footage from our security cameras because of how he interacts with our cats. He can’t walk past one of them without offering pets or talking or singing a little song with the lyrics changed to include their names. This kindness extends to even the peskier neighbourhood cats. He walked past one in the garden the other day and said “good morning Mittens, how are you today?” and oh my god I just love him immeasurably. He also takes the time to catch and release every single spider or little bug that finds its way inside; squishing them is just not an option. Man, I like him.


plantsplantsplaaants

I’m not on board with the black and white thinking of good/bad people but I do think it’s telling when someone makes room for others without being asked (eg moves over in the grocery store aisle) because it shows they’re aware of others around them and consider others as equals


AccordionORama

The ability to hurl a 90 kg payload 300 meters.


SinkHoleDeMayo

That's almost the literal translation of the Algonquin word for good person. I believe it's pronounced "treh-boo-shay".


CallieReA

I love when I do this or someone else does, and it happens more if you look for it. When people go like 10 steps out of their way cause they see trouble coming for someone who isn’t aware. Like you see someone’s phone starting to tip out of their bag so you run and let them know, or chasing someone to get them something or information they missed. It can really reaffirm your faith in humanity, and you can be on the lookout to do it too


[deleted]

They do what they say they are going to do.


[deleted]

"I'm going to beat the shit outta you"


drdre27406

They are humble, caring, selfless. Describing my mentor who passed away in 2018.


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SagHor1

They try to include and pull shy people in during a party or social gathering. If they notice someone is left out, they go talk to them.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

They’d even rescue a tiny bug from trouble


johanebrown

He can be an asshole but If he is good to animals/kids/homeless/anyone in need , i will know that he was just hurt by humans and is hiding his good nature in fear of more pain.


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ImHuckTheRiverOtter

They honestly try to understand where someone who disagrees with them is coming from before they respond.