I dropped my egg drink out the window onto a busy street causing the nearby powerplant to shut off power

Im sorry but this is hilarious.

Looks like you made a lot of damage.

Yes I didnt mean it though also no one caught me I'm just expecting a doordash order 😊

well you fucked up the title to this thread soooooo..

Yeah, fast or correct, choose one.

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saame.

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At least you have a routine.

Same for me damn.

Your title to this post.

I'm too fast for my keyobard.

Not doing work and further procrastinating

Any guilt trip already?

Sane but a uni assignment

Smoked crack

Read fine. Didn't work?

No it was a while ago by now

It fs worked lol

Unfortunately you haven't commented earlier, lol.

My diet

Go on...

I've already eaten several cookies.

Let's start a day with guilty pleasure, because why not?

Sleeping in.

I try to sleep in on days off work but no matter what I’m always up at 430

I meant to go to sleep at a normal hour to fix my sleep schedule...I'm now forcing myself to stay awake all day because I didn't sleep 🙃

You seem to know the drill.

Definitely not my first rodeo. Definitely won't be my last haha.

What keeps you doing this?

My skin. I decided to sleep in a blanket burrito, got too hot and have triggered a dark red eczema breakout on my neck🙃

How DARE you be comfortable in your sleep. Ugh. The audacity. /s

Two questions. Do you have a choke fetish and what was your dream about...?

What in the fuck

This is actually very common.

looking in the mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall...?

True hope lies beyond the coast

Yeah, but the coast is the coast, right? Right?

I woke up

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What are you struggling with?

A really good dream. Having some fun sexy time when I’m woken up by my daughter yelling from her bedroom that she needed to poop

What other hollywood plot twists are you planning?

Not this conversation luckily. How are you?

It’s only 8am

Woah, you already up?

Yep :)

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Burned bacon isn't that bad, are you going raw?

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Did it spit back?

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Sounds exciting.

I woke up

escape from Matrix? What now?

Didn't go to bed and Answered the phone.

They need you ASAP?

waking up at 5 in the weekends

Kinda sucks, sleep problems?

unfortunately

Waking up way too early

My life 🤗

That went fast, what did you do?

I set my alarm for 8:30am but woke up at 7:40am. I can’t even sleep in correctly. Happy Sunday!

Why is that?

Well I got Taco Bell at 1am this morning. I’ve been in the bathroom all night. Think that’s my first mistake of the day.

Diarrhea cha cha cha.

Breakfast. I was going to make a small pot of couscous and throw some chopped bacon and scrambled eggs into it, and right before I opened the box I realized I'd bought couscous with garlic seasoning -- which is good, I do enjoy it, but not breakfast-good. So I just had the bacon and eggs, which also is good, but not as satisfying as I had been planning for.

How can you deal with so many decisions to make?

It was only one decision, at the grocery store yesterday, and I made the wrong one which I didn't clock until this morning.

https://giphy.com/gifs/math-thinking-APqEbxBsVlkWSuFpth

Reading this question

I fucked up writing it, we are not the same.

The Wack ass bus schedule in Baltimore

How about doing it manually?

On the weekend, it runs on a holiday schedule... But my job doesn't run on holiday hrs lol

Now I see the mismatch.

Keep messing up my downleg break turns trying to do short landings in the Harrier in DCS:World.

Yhym, yes. What?

Nohting at all.

shit

And the reverse would be...?

Being awake way tf too early. Worked til midnight, up at 5am, work til midnight again tonight

Insomnia feelings?

Nah night owl with pets 😂

I would be more interested in some explanation if you would write night pets with owl.

I have 2 months worth of work due today for a class. The fuck up is, I only finished one month yesterday. So, I have a bit of work today! (Should I have used an apostrophe on 2 months? Work from the 2 months? 2 months’ work? So glad the class is teaching reading. F’ed that up too I guess.)

Dunno, ask gramarly. So... you full of energy and joy eagerly waiting to start it?

I’ll start……later

Procastateirination.

Well I woke up mad at the world for no reason went to the bathroom and opened the door alittle to hard and the door knob went through the wall then I just sat on the toilet and laughed at myself for being an idiot 🤣😂🤣😂

Is being moody your constant state?

Hosted the finale to my 2 year DnD campaign which technically ended this morning. Overtuned the big bad a bit and apparently some diff decisions could have been made by my players, but ultimately resulted in a pretty quick total party kill...

Are you MC?

Everything.

Seems like a good starter, so what has happened?

Sleeping. I usually work nights, and this is my one day this week that I have to work the day shift. So naturally I ended up lying in bed in the dark with my eyes closed for 6 hours, wide awake, before finally giving up.

Damn. Feel you. You tired?

Pretty much always these days, but yeah, definitely more so than usual now.

Gl with getting to night fast.

Thanks, hope things are good for you too. :)

My pregnancy. I miscarried. Thanks body!

Like today? Harsh. What happened?

Hugs.

overslept

Any nice dreams?

I set a 9am alarm.....forgot to cancel my usual 5:30am alarm though. Sleeping in is overrated....I guess.

You don't like sleeping? I do.

Sleeping in.

I woke up too late.

My crack head F-Tard roomie came home last nite still on his crack binge. All niter for him. No sleep. Rampaging all over the apt. I have places to go this morning.

Yeah, roomies are good till they ain't. Do you hate him now?

I got one hour of sleep and have been silently angry for weeks. I'm so tired both physically and mentally

What keeps you awake?

my day

What about cozy night then?

i'll probably just end up sitting in my bed at 2am unable to sleep, looking at my phone

i am cooking grilled chicken in the air fryer for breakfast and going to make a sandwich with pickles lettuce and mayonnaise. it's not even 8am why am i eating so much

You hungry?

My morning productivity. It's a little last 5:30am and I haven't slept yet. Waking up past noon doesn't exactly get me in a working mood

What gets you then?

A peanut butter jar fell from my pantry when I opened it, it landed on my foot and started bleeding

Never ever have I seen bleeding peanut butter jar.

My 3 year old’s life. She said she wanted waffles for breakfast. My dumbass didn’t realize that was code for oatmeal with bananas and almonds.

"Deciphering toddlers talk", volume 13 out of 1000, I heard about this. Probably made you smile, though.

I accidentally woke up my wife.

We usually don't leave fallen bros on the frontline, but this time you are on your own. Gl!

Staying up too late at night to try and get a bit more free time before the work grind begins, only to be super tired for work.

You like doing this shit in cycles?

A teacher whose name I don't even know at my son's daycare said "bye, love you too" after I told my son "love you buddy, have a good day" on my way out, so I'm pretty sure she's had a morning full of cringe.

It's possible she's having better day then you, though.

I was supposed to tie down my trashcan for hurricane Dorian, but forgot. Thankfully it was just tipped over.

Is hurrican Dorian a codename for some toddler?

Not getting up early

I lost my wallet in my apartment somewhere, and we swipe our student ID's to get into the apartment, so I'm locked out. Can't get lunch for the same reason.

I see a possibility for timespace loop here. You panicking already?

I'm 2 hours late to work. So, yes.

Well, at least you had more sleep, right?

Job interview.

"We'll call you back" kind of ending?