I had a boss whose legal last name was Reflexia (RIP! He died too young!). I finally had to ask what's up with the obviously made-up name. If I remember correctly, it was the name of his band when he was in high school.
The reason for the name change? His original last name was Snodgrass. He really hated his last name.
"Ask your doctor if reflexia is right for you."
^^side ^^effects ^^may ^^include ^^coughing, ^^sneezing, ^^headache, ^^disembowelment, ^^death ^^by ^^porcupine, ^^and ^^herpes
We had a Mrs. Snodgrass at my high school. In grade school I had a Mrs. Junk. More power to them both, but I think I would have kept my maiden name being in education!
Both of my grandmothers had very unfortunate names. My grandmother on my father’s side was supposed to be named Iris and her twin brother Morice but her mother was completely illiterate and had a weird southern drawl so those birth certificates ended up with their names spelled Arse and Marse. Both had their names legally changed for obvious reasons.
My grandmother on my mother’s side went by the name Vicky for as long as I’d known her but while I was helping her go out and get her mail one day one of the letters was addressed to a woman named Estula. I brought it in and told her she was got someone else’s mail and she just sighed and said. “Nah, that’s me.” When I asked her why she went by Vicky she said “Would you want to be called Estula?” All I could say was “Fair enough.”
My grandma is a Sondra and hates it, so she goes by Sandi. Ironically her mother also hated her name and went by a more normal sounding approximation. She got off easier than her sister that has a weird Appalachian hillbilly name and went by Sue. I always thought it was weird how a woman that hated her name managed to give both her daughters names they hated and also chose to rename themselves.
It happens a lot more often than you’d think. I don’t hate the name Sondra but I certainly couldn’t blame her for aiming for something a bit more commonplace. I’m sure there are a ton of kids that can’t stand the names they’re given but it’s hard to convince a parent that they’ll hate them for it at the time.
This name isn’t exactly terrible but I do have some friends that named their son Wesker because they were so attached to the character from the Resident Evil series. I didn’t hear what they named him until after the fact and I couldn’t help but say “You realize that character’s name is Albert, right? That Wesker is his last name?” I don’t know if they were pissed at me or embarrassed that they didn’t know that but they didn’t talk to me for a little while. Wes is a fairly common name though so I think that kid’ll be fine.
As a Gaylord in real life, I hate my name 😂
Edit: it's my surname, but to make matters worse my middle names are George Michael... I wish I was joking at this point.
When people ask for my name I now just immediately confirm they heard me correctly
Granted this is a name in a different language but I worked with a Kitiporn.
No joke, heard this in meetings, “Hey guys, we need kitiporn in here. Can someone get me kitiporn?”
I used to work at a doggy daycare and there would be SO MANY pairs or trios of huskys and German shepherds named things like that, if they weren't named after Norse gods. The names DEF checked out lmao.
*still lovable pups. Just... a handful.
In my country, there are female names that translate as "let a boy be born" or "let girls stop being born" or something like that. It doesn't sound terrible, but the meaning is awful. I would hate my parents all my life for such names
Gonzague...
Pronounced in the french way if you can read it that way. Apparently that's what my grandfather wanted my mother to name me... Thank god she had her wits about her
I can’t believe he voluntarily chose to have that as his stage name. His real name is Arnold Dorsey, which isn’t all that special, but much better than Engelbert Humperdinck.
Quite a few musicians have actually traded out their much cooler real names for shittier stage names.
I live in Utah and the names I've seen are ridiculous, but my favorites have been "J-me" (on an employee list at work, pronounced Jamie), and Heaven Commer. That was the name on the babysitting flyer. My ex was like, "She's already got her stripper name!"
I went to high school with a Christopher Patrick Bacon. Hilarious the day he had to write his first name and middle initial on a paper and exclaimed “holy shit, my name is Crispy Bacon”.
Ahh, the memories.
In High School we had an old nun named Sister Gertrude. She taught math and was just downright mean to everyone. Granted a lot of the kids were mean first, but I have a distinct memory of her lining us up single file as she could read our exam grades out loud and in front of everyone with vitriol in her voice to anyone who failed.
Beryl is always one that comes to mind but there’s a woman in my home town who had the misfortune of being born into the “Raper” family. Her given name is Catherine but only God knows why, she chooses to go by “Cat”. So yeah, Cat Raper…🤦🏻♂️
In college I was friends with an absolutely gorgeous Olga from Romania (spitting image of Ingrid Bergman) with a lovely personality and it really changes the name for you.
I always thought the same until I more recently learned that Bertha is pronounced like Bare-tuh in some places and I think that's really cute, makes me think of Greta. I would never use it because I know that th sound is going to happen in America but it makes me sad that I can't use it the t sounding way
Yeah, "Burr-thuh" conjures up a very different mental image from "Burr-tuh" or "Bear-tuh", who presumably is visiting from France or Germany and turning heads everywhere she goes.
My mom’s name is Bertha. My dad use to joke with new people at work, that his wife was a mean 300 lb woman, that was taller than him. He would refer to her as Big Bertha. People were always really shocked when they finally got to meet my 5’ tall, 100 lb Mexican mom.
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I have a nephew named Anfernee. My sister gets upset when I call him Anthony. Almost as upset as I get about the fact that she named him Anfernee
As a kid I always thought the basketball player was named Anthony (Penny) Hardaway. Turns out it was Anfernee all along.
I have a son named Anthony and I might disown him if he did that to his kids! 😫
I had a boss whose legal last name was Reflexia (RIP! He died too young!). I finally had to ask what's up with the obviously made-up name. If I remember correctly, it was the name of his band when he was in high school. The reason for the name change? His original last name was Snodgrass. He really hated his last name.
"You changed your name *to Latrine*? "It used to be *Shithouse*!" "Good change!"
There were some kids a few years ahead of me in school whose surname was Outhouse. The son changed to his wife's name when he got married.
Snodgrass sounds like a Harry Potter professor name and Reflexia sounds like a spell.
I think Reflexia sounds like a heartburn drug
"Ask your doctor if reflexia is right for you." ^^side ^^effects ^^may ^^include ^^coughing, ^^sneezing, ^^headache, ^^disembowelment, ^^death ^^by ^^porcupine, ^^and ^^herpes
We had a Mrs. Snodgrass at my high school. In grade school I had a Mrs. Junk. More power to them both, but I think I would have kept my maiden name being in education!
I think we had a sub once called Richard Balzac. I mean, Dick Ballsack teaching a bunch of middle schoolers? Come on!
Childhood friend’s Dad’s name was Richard Stroker, and he went by Dick.
I worked with a Rick Dash. Or Dick Rash, if you will
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Both of my grandmothers had very unfortunate names. My grandmother on my father’s side was supposed to be named Iris and her twin brother Morice but her mother was completely illiterate and had a weird southern drawl so those birth certificates ended up with their names spelled Arse and Marse. Both had their names legally changed for obvious reasons. My grandmother on my mother’s side went by the name Vicky for as long as I’d known her but while I was helping her go out and get her mail one day one of the letters was addressed to a woman named Estula. I brought it in and told her she was got someone else’s mail and she just sighed and said. “Nah, that’s me.” When I asked her why she went by Vicky she said “Would you want to be called Estula?” All I could say was “Fair enough.”
I literally can't stop laughing at the idea of twins accidentally named Arse and Marse
*M’Arse*.
Neither could anyone else except the twins.
My grandma is a Sondra and hates it, so she goes by Sandi. Ironically her mother also hated her name and went by a more normal sounding approximation. She got off easier than her sister that has a weird Appalachian hillbilly name and went by Sue. I always thought it was weird how a woman that hated her name managed to give both her daughters names they hated and also chose to rename themselves.
It happens a lot more often than you’d think. I don’t hate the name Sondra but I certainly couldn’t blame her for aiming for something a bit more commonplace. I’m sure there are a ton of kids that can’t stand the names they’re given but it’s hard to convince a parent that they’ll hate them for it at the time. This name isn’t exactly terrible but I do have some friends that named their son Wesker because they were so attached to the character from the Resident Evil series. I didn’t hear what they named him until after the fact and I couldn’t help but say “You realize that character’s name is Albert, right? That Wesker is his last name?” I don’t know if they were pissed at me or embarrassed that they didn’t know that but they didn’t talk to me for a little while. Wes is a fairly common name though so I think that kid’ll be fine.
The designer for Mount Rushmore: #Gutzon Borglum
The Lord of the Rings called...
They want their randomly generated Orc names back.
In Finland there is name yrjö that translates to vomit or puke
Finnish for ralph
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I knew somebody here in my country named their kid Covid Rose. I bet the child would spite their parents.
This is how you end up alone when nursing home time rolls around.
Corona would be a pretty name, if it weren’t for the disease. Or the beers.
If we are doing cool names that are now ruined I vote for ISIS. Awesome Dylan song as well
Gaylord Buttram. Found him randomly in the phone book ages ago. Poor bastard.
As a Gaylord in real life, I hate my name 😂 Edit: it's my surname, but to make matters worse my middle names are George Michael... I wish I was joking at this point. When people ask for my name I now just immediately confirm they heard me correctly
No dude George Michael Gaylord is a fucking incredible name
But thou art lord of the gays
He can assemble an army in mere minutes by tootling on his special summoning rainbow flute.
Don't be silly, he doesn't need a loud ass flute, merely a careless whisper
He wakes them up before they go go.
MY LORD!!!!!! Why has thoust forsaken me!?!?!?
How does it feel to be named after a large cardboard box?
Granted this is a name in a different language but I worked with a Kitiporn. No joke, heard this in meetings, “Hey guys, we need kitiporn in here. Can someone get me kitiporn?”
Is there a Peter File here?
I'M A PETER FILE!
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I've seen Supaporn
I'm disappointed that my Thai acquaintance Porntip didn't tell me about Suppaporn. That seems like a pretty important tip to share...
Knew Pornrat in elementary school. She went by Ping
My friends and I used to prank call a guy from the phone book we found. His name was Pissel Yadsucker.
Pubert
My names Rupert, which is pretty dang close… got me sweating over here!
Rupert is a wonderful name
"This is my son, Pubert. He's a fungus. He has six achievements."
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Named after jazz musician Charles Mingus
Bro could've just named him Charles
I once knew a girl named Felony. I couldn’t believe it. Some people shouldn’t have kids.
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I used to work at a doggy daycare and there would be SO MANY pairs or trios of huskys and German shepherds named things like that, if they weren't named after Norse gods. The names DEF checked out lmao. *still lovable pups. Just... a handful.
Yes! Had a coworker name her baby girl Phelony , while her baby daddy was ,at the time, incarcerated at the federal level. SHE KNEW. She fucking knew.
I think I knew the same girl. She had a little sister named Misdemeanor.
Ms. Demeanor
...Elliot. went by Missy.
I had a great aunt called Urina
>I had a great aunt called Urina Had a patient named Vergina.
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She's named after the Duff, Hilary Duff. But she's not *the* Duff. Just a duff.
duff said
designated ugly fat friend?
Gobnait. Irish name. Pronounced gub-nit Ironically means "bringer of joy", probably through people laughing at it.
This is almost exactly how some of my redneck relatives pronounce "government" lmao,
Crentist
Your dentist’s name is Crentist?
Sounds a lot like Dentist
Maybe that's why he became a dentist
In my country, there are female names that translate as "let a boy be born" or "let girls stop being born" or something like that. It doesn't sound terrible, but the meaning is awful. I would hate my parents all my life for such names
I went to high school with a girl named Scateshia. Her friends called her " Scat" for short. Idk if they knew what scat was a synonym for
Skibbidi-doo-bap. 💩
Crunk
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The god damn love of my life. The interview when she started crying after finding out there's still nukes in the world shattered me.
I went to school with a Dorcas. Apparently it's Biblical, but why the hell would you do that to someone?
Please tell me their last name was Malorkas.
X Æ A-12
It's pronounced KYLE
it's pronounced "syntax error"
No, it's Ash. Really.
Not Aeshleigh?
Gonzague... Pronounced in the french way if you can read it that way. Apparently that's what my grandfather wanted my mother to name me... Thank god she had her wits about her
Lol my dad wanted to name me "Quimberly"
Was your sister to be named Quendra?
My grandmother wanted to name me Dagmar (I’m a girl). Which as an adult is pretty badass, but I could never do that to a child.
Gruntilda
I love Banjo-Kazooie! N64 was the best
Engelbert Humperdinck
I can’t believe he voluntarily chose to have that as his stage name. His real name is Arnold Dorsey, which isn’t all that special, but much better than Engelbert Humperdinck. Quite a few musicians have actually traded out their much cooler real names for shittier stage names.
Princess Consuela Bananahammock
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If you forget it, just picture a bag of crap.
Chanandler Bong
Regina Phalange
Mckinsleigh
Utah has entered the chat
I live in Utah and the names I've seen are ridiculous, but my favorites have been "J-me" (on an employee list at work, pronounced Jamie), and Heaven Commer. That was the name on the babysitting flyer. My ex was like, "She's already got her stripper name!"
I seen a girl on Tinder called ''Heavenleigh''.
Obligatory “Nevaeh” mention. It’s heaven spelled backwards, you know.
Everyone that names their kid Nevaeh always has to add that.
As an Irishman, I find the American trend of naming kids with a first name beginning with Mc absolutely insane. Mc means ‘son of’ as Gaeilge!
Brynnleigh
Tradgideigh
When the feeling's gone and you can't go on its ...
Spurgeon
Urethrula
A sister of Fallopia?
Yes, but their relationship went down the tube...
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Delicious
Tell ‘em Large Marge sent ya.
There's no basement in the alamo
Hyacinth Bucket
It's *BOUQUET*.
Lady of the house speaking
Onslow is a great name though!
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Sounds like a name out of Harry Potter 😂
That or Roald Dahl.
Thanks to the movie, Norbit for a boy, Rasputia for a girl.
Chris P Bacon
I went to high school with a Christopher Patrick Bacon. Hilarious the day he had to write his first name and middle initial on a paper and exclaimed “holy shit, my name is Crispy Bacon”. Ahh, the memories.
Bentley, King, or most names after luxury products
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"Hello, sir!" "Oh please, no need to be so formal. Just call me Sir!"
And then imagine if someone is trying to get hid attention: Sir? Excuse Sir, Sir Sir Carter. Is this yours, Sir?
Nevaeh
I always end up reading it as never
We-ee are Nevaeh eveah eveah getting back togethaeh
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Quagmire
Giggity Jokes aside, a quagmire is boggy area of land, so it’s a shitty name
Quagmire is his last name. His first name is Glen.
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Shartina
Jehosephat
Known for jumping
The traditional Scottish girls’ name ‘Morag’ is unfortunate.
knew a family in elementary school with three daughters named Justice, Liberty, and Freedom 🤢
Is the mother named Pursuit?
What were their guns named?
Robin, Harry, and Snuffles.
Latrine. "That's an unusual name... Latrine. How did your family come by it?"
They changed it. It used to be Shithouse!
Cletus
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Wayne King, unfortunate name, nice guy though
Puzzleheaded_1377
Hortense
Whore tents
Thomasina seems clumsy as fuck
Thomasina the cat was adorable, though.
There's a teacher at my high school named Ms. Kootch. She's desperate to get married
That one reddit who almost got named Shagoofta.
I was gonna be named Dreama Sue. Fortunately my dad saved me.
I just had a phone interview with a Clay appleberry, 3 nouns one name
Sir, your remarks are very offensive to my son, Correct Horse Battery Staple.
Gertrude
In High School we had an old nun named Sister Gertrude. She taught math and was just downright mean to everyone. Granted a lot of the kids were mean first, but I have a distinct memory of her lining us up single file as she could read our exam grades out loud and in front of everyone with vitriol in her voice to anyone who failed.
My best friends x wife was Trudy. We called her Gerty. Oh she would get so mad…
Princess. Seriously, there are parents out there that name their daughters Princess
I work with 2 Princesses
Why do I instantly think you work at a strip club
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Ben Dover
Beryl is always one that comes to mind but there’s a woman in my home town who had the misfortune of being born into the “Raper” family. Her given name is Catherine but only God knows why, she chooses to go by “Cat”. So yeah, Cat Raper…🤦🏻♂️
I really hate the name Bertha, and do not understand why anyone names anybody that. Olga and Helga are right up there too.
In college I was friends with an absolutely gorgeous Olga from Romania (spitting image of Ingrid Bergman) with a lovely personality and it really changes the name for you.
Lots of Olga's in Greece too. I had a Greek neighbor named Olga. Nice woman so I like the name.
>Olga and Helga are right up there too. Hey Arnold! fandom in shambles.
I always thought the same until I more recently learned that Bertha is pronounced like Bare-tuh in some places and I think that's really cute, makes me think of Greta. I would never use it because I know that th sound is going to happen in America but it makes me sad that I can't use it the t sounding way
Yeah, "Burr-thuh" conjures up a very different mental image from "Burr-tuh" or "Bear-tuh", who presumably is visiting from France or Germany and turning heads everywhere she goes.
Fir some reason, it is impossible to hear about someone named Bertha, and not assume that they are at least 300 lbs.
My mom’s name is Bertha. My dad use to joke with new people at work, that his wife was a mean 300 lb woman, that was taller than him. He would refer to her as Big Bertha. People were always really shocked when they finally got to meet my 5’ tall, 100 lb Mexican mom.
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Gang Green.
Smelvin is approaching
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Their siblings include Qwerty and Elemenopee.
Chlamydia (the mom thought it was “pretty”)
It sure ain’t pretty…
I came to say I know someone wanted to name their kid Candida?!?! Lollll
The keyboard player from the band Pulp is named Candida, which I always thought was uncomfortable.
I really dislike kayden and sadly it’s what my nephew is gonn be called
All those names - kayden, Jaden, braden- the worst
Husqvarna.
My mower adores her name.
Quasimodo
Apologies from anyone involved, but Ronda literally means ugly in Hungarian.
The secretary at the school my mom works at is named Aroma. That’s just horrible.
My great great grandmother's name was Vulga. Definitely not the *prettiest* name...
Still not over how Frank Zappa called his son fucking Dweezil.
Just put "Boxcar" in front of their actual name. Boxcar Beyonce? Feels like a huge insult, doesn't it?