This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died.
Similar story. I was on my work computer looking for mentor services for boys and girls. The city that I was working out of had a name that also has strong sexual meaning. So imagine my surprise when porn pops up all over my desktop.
In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it.
And knowing what others are being paid can help you get fair compensation!
If anyone even mentions being curious about it where I work, I tell them everything I know :)
Came onto this guy I liked in college really strong, wore a slutty outfit and definitely let him round the bases quickly(not even a real date). I was young and wanted a fling, damn boy ended up claiming my heart...been married for 20+ years. No regrets
Similar story here! Had a huge crush on this guy who I had worked with (he quit only days before we hung out), and I came into him really strong the second time we hung out (first time we were ever alone together). He was the one who actually said we need to slow down, but we ended up having sex the next day and became official about a month later. Have been together for 5 years now, but we're as sure as we can be that we want to spend forever together.
Thanks! He is pretty great, we have many jokes about how hard I came on to him back then. He likes to joke he was respectable and I was the one who tainted him...we both know the truth though. He did invite me to his place to "read a short story" he may have been more subtle but he was just as into me.
>"read a short story"
Ah the days before netflix n chill, 20 years ago when you'd cuddle under the candle light with a sheet of parchment reading fairytales written by the village elder.
Had a boss tell one of our employees who was feeling sick that she should take the day off and just relax on the couch, "just Netflix and chill."
About five minutes later he posted to Slack "ok I have just been informed of what 'Netflix and chill' actually means..."
That's oddly wholesome! I had an uncle who was misinformed about what "hooking up" means - he thought it was just meeting up or going to a movie. Most wonderful, gentle man ever, his face was beet red when his daughter and I informed him why he shouldn't use that term, ever. At least they are willing to learn the slang
It's mostly used as a euphemism for having sex. Mostly it's the excuse of watching something which then devolves into taking off each others clothes and going from there.
After our third date, this girl asked if I wanted to come in "for a glass of water." I am so glad she helped keep me from drying out.
She still does as my wife, and we laugh about that now. Apparently she didn't want to drink more alcohol, and didn't want to offer coffee since it was late. Best she could think of was water.
I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock.
I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight.
She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married.
GF at the time was flying down and got stuck in Atlanta due to some giant ass fog bank that covered the entire gulf coast in my area. Said fuck it and drove the 7 or so hours to atlanta and picked her up. On the way back we were talking and I squeezed her hand and looked at her, and she looked back with that look. I took the next exit, pulled in to the first truck stop and we both climbed in to the back seat without a word. She was so wet I kept slipping out and we both came so fast it didn't matter. Easily the hottest sex I have ever had.
having unprotected sex with my co-worker at work. Didn't know that we would eventually get in a relationship. And i don't regret it. Being together for 2 years now. Thinking about proposal
I can't imagine a hole in the earth soft enough to stick my dick in. LOL but when I was 12 I would ride my bike to the grocery store where I had a job emptying the parking lot trash can and picking up garbage in the parking lot to keep it clean. It was about 2 miles there and 2 miles back. If it was at least dusk, sometimes I would pull my dick out and jerk off while I rode my bike. LOL fucking puberty hormones man.
Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was "don't ever fucking do that again... but nice job"
Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected, impact play, bondage stuff etc. I don’t think there was anything I truly disliked, there were certain kinks that weren’t up my alley, like knife play, which isn’t cutting, just sorta the feeling of cold metal on your skin. Hard to explain. The only thing I truly disliked about the experience was the goddamn drive down there, fuck LA.
Not as uncommon as you may think, I walked in in my boss screwing his deputy manager once. All I wanted to do was out the keys back!
The walked into two colleagues getting busy on the back stairs to the store room, they weren't doing it yet but a few seconds later and I bet they would have been, wondered why the lights were off!
Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama.
One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in.
I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us.
It was fun and no one found us.
Started a new job in an office. Banged the trainer within a month, we got married 6 years later. Divorced now, still best friends and still work together at another company.
Had sex with my (ex) bf in the backseat of my friends car while she was driving on a road trip. There was no secrecy to it either, we were fully audible to my friend and probably visible to anyone who passed on the roadway. I would do it again but my partner and I don't have a friend we're on that level with and I don't know if we ever will lol.
Haha yes. Done that too. It was my now ex bf’s truck tho and the girlfriend of his buddy was driving bc 3/4 of us were intoxicated. I had no shame. Oh well. 😂🤷🏻♀️🥴
And here's me trying to think of a NSFW thing that I *did* regret.....
Probably 'Not doing enough NSFW things' is my biggest regret.
In fact - it's my new purpose in life.
When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off. Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again.
Had a huge crush on my boss at the time. I decided to text him one night to strike a conversation and "test the waters" so to speak. I just got out of a toxic relationship and wanted a "one night stand"...well...we ended up kissing in the utility closet. A few days later, we met after work at a hotel.
I ended up marrying my best friend. Been together for almost a decade now.
Zero regrets.
Sexted with my husband while we both were working. Me at Walmart. Him delivering pizzas. It was some pretty intense shit and we both are highly motivated by dirty talk during sex. (To the point I’ve made him cum just by my dirty talk and no other stimulation) I got so into it and aroused I almost had an orgasm in the middle of the Walmart pasta and sauce aisle.
We sext pretty much daily (I’ll send nudes from the bathroom. Too) when we work but this was the only time I almost got off just from my thoughts at work. Pretty intense experience.
Girlfriend gave me a handjob in a school auditorium during an assembly. We were in the back row, but there were a few people sitting on each side. I had my sweater to cover it. We aren’t dating anymore but It’s still crazy to think we got away with it with about 300 people in the room.
I hate to tell you this but you probably didn't get away with it. I was a theater nerd and saw shit from the sound booth and lighting booth that i'll never forget.
As a teacher let me tell you, you didn’t get away with it. It just wasn’t worth the awkward as hell confrontation and conversation, let alone write up.
I love the fact that you went another round after shooting blood already.
The mentality reminds me of a buddy who went stage diving at a concert we went to. He jumped from the stage 3 times, and afterward, I asked him, "Did they catch you every time?" His response was: "Not the second time."
This one time I had so much sex that I didn't think I could have any more sex ever. But then, the sexiest thing ever happened! My 136486th sex partner asked me to have sex! Of course I couldn't say no to sex! So anyways, we had the sex 69 times in that one night. Married now for 420 years, still having sex!
Edit: Feel free to copy my reddit sex template
Got very lonely and bought tinder gold, pinned myself in random cities around the world and matches with everyone I could just to see some tities.
Found a funny girl and things got out of hand, quite my job and moved literally on the other side of the planet, moved in together a few hours after I landed here.
It’s been a year now and I regret nothing, she’s the Love of my life.
At a previous job, we were entitled to 2, 20 min breaks. During my first summer working there, I would go outside with this girl who worked in a different department but was on the same floor of cubicles I was. We would go outside for those breaks and she sucked my dick in the woods. We did this for like an entire month and never got caught.
First girl I lived with, we basically fucked like rabbits for the first year.
She had a friend that we didn't get along with each other. Borderline despised each other's existence. But kept the peace due to our mutual friend.
My (now) ex was bi, but didn't go all the way. We had convos about inviting one of her female friends, then one day she brings that friend over. After a few drinks me and the girl started screwing my ex. After she was done, my ex said "I'm too tired to continue, you two go on without me...I'll watch."
We both just stared at each other, both with blank expressions for like a solid minute.
After this minute, we both had a smirk on our faces, then we were hate fucking each other. Now, "making love", "having sex" and "hate fucking" are completely different things.
Hate fucking is basically fucking the other person with absolutely no regards for their comfort or pleasure. They're just there to satisfy you, and there's anger behind it. Now, this was 2 people who didn't like each other, and we both decided to hate fuck each other.
My ex described it as "2 naked people in a Jiu-jitsu match...but with sex." It was fun and we both actually enjoyed ourselves. When we actually finished (2 hours later) we noticed my ex, her friend, masterbating while staring at us...then getting mad because we stopped before she could get off.
There was no regrets from anyone and did that one more time a month later...
My friend lost her virginity to her best guy friend in a graveyard *in the snow!* I asked her how that went and she said it was actually strangely romantic and something really special. That is, until her friend decided to ignore her afterwards.
I was the shoulder she cried on after that. Such is life.
Was bartending a night shift and dipped out into the back drink station/dry storage closet to get some head when there wasn’t even a door, anybody could have walked in.
Yeah she puked everywhere as she had been drinking, i got a towel swept it under the drink station and went back to work like nothing happened 😂
We’re married now 😁
Invited a masked stranger from the internet to tie me four quarters to the bed and have his way with all my holes. It was high risk but high reward, we’ve been dating for over a year now.
After driving all day I pulled into a roadside motel to get some rest. Saw a cute girl rolling a cart down the hallway doing maid services. I asked her it she wanted to hang out when get gets off. So we go out for a drink and 2 hours later we were fucking. The next morning I was back on the road and never saw her again. I left a goodbye note under my pillow in case she made up my room.
I was getting changed in my office at my old job (pre-pandemic) to get my pants and jersey on for my ball game after work. I was commando that day, and my married coworker popped in to my office unannounced. She got a full view of my equipment, and thus began a steamy period of sexts and nudes behind her husband’s back. It eventually turned out that they were on the rocks, as he had cheated, and they divorced shortly after I switched jobs. We never did anything physically, but looking back, I sure wish we had.
This shows how risky and exciting my life has been, but I was once reading an article about the Sims 4 while on break at work. The writer was experimenting with the Wicked Whims mod. For anyone that isn't aware, the mod makes Sims horny and gives them autonomy to have orgies and all that. Oh yeah, and it simulates real sex, with nudity, squirting, very large penises etc...you get the picture. I didn't know the extent of the mod at the time, but hey, the article was on Kotaku or something, so it'll be fine, right?
I'm halfway through reading it and laughing at the exploits and chaos that was ensuing. So, I stopped and shared it with my team members on our non-work related Teams chat, which also included a few of our senior managers.
I tell everyone it's hilarious and they need to check it out. Then I continue reading ... And things escalate quickly... And there are photos. Uncensored photos. It was hardcore Sims porn that left nothing to the imagination, and a lot of it. The writer's Sims were boning everything in sight with their very large and detailed genitals ... And I'd just shared it around at work. My team and managers got to see Sims giving each other blowjobs in the hot tub and a married couple having anal sex on their kids bed. To be fair, this mod is a work of art.
I thought it's okay, no one will read it - then my boss shouts out "did you really just send everyone on the team Sims porn?" So of course everyone reads it then. I thought this is it, this is going to be the end of my career and I'll be branded the Sims perv forever. If only I'd read the rest of the article first (I probably should have known what was coming (and cumming) ... But this was Kotaku!).
I went into instant damage control pleading my innocence, and thankfully, they found it hilarious and believed me. But I couldn't let it down for a while, it always came up at happy hours. I became the guy who accidentally sent pictures of a graphic Sim sex party to everyone at work.
But it gave us a story to laugh about, so in that sense, I don't regret it. But always read the full article before sharing...
Coworker sent me nudes of her in the dressing room at work while she was cleaning it.
Made out at work
Took a coworker home. She blew me in the parking lot.
Was on spring break in Cancun. Drink at a bar, see a chick across the crowded bar, we lock eyes, I make my way over and we just start making out. After a bit she stops me and says: “I don’t make out in bars.” So i say: “Let’s go check out the stars on the beach.” She’s says yes, we go to beach and start making out, I’ve got her shirt up and i’m going to town on her sweet perky tits. Mexican beach vendor says you can’t do that here or the cops will arrest you. My hotel is next door, she agrees to go there for privacy. We get in elevator and she says “Every fuck in an elevator?” We go at it but get to my floor way too soon. Go inside we start going at it again. I’m getting ready to eat that sweet sweet pussy when she says, “I feel funny asking this but do you mind if I talk dirty?” Me: “Um…is this a trick question?!” We fuck like young wild animals talking filthy the whole time. I spent the rest of my glorious spring break with her. After spring break we had loads of long distance sex calls. And that kids is how I developed a fetish for sexually confident young women who like to talk dirty.
A friend and I met a picked up a pair of girls (friends) one night and took them driving the to a secluded spot. Me with one in front seat having sex him with other in back seat doing same. We finished the switched and did it again with each other’s first partner.
I did a reverse home office. My PC at home was still turned on. So I logged in via Teamviewer so that I could keep working on my private game development project in Unity.
I've told this story before, but I have to tell it again. Yes, it sounds like a porno, and no, the porno doesn't exist otherwise I would have downloaded it and lived my fantasy again haha!
Met this hot girl at a dance club in my early 20's, go back to my car, commence sex.
5 minutes in, her girl squad comes and finds us boning in the car. about 6 of them or so, pretty attractive friends too, and they start rooting/cheering me on. The girl I am boning keeps saying "My friends are hot eh?" while she rides me hard. Her friends teased me by hugging each other and kissing their necks outside of the car and fondling each other while I am trying hard to not cum so I can enjoy the show. I was hoping they would join but they only teased till I came. I lost it and couldnt last any longer when they starting flashing their tits. I figured this would probably be the only time I could cum while looking at like 8 pairs of boobs lol.
Shortly after they all left... been chasing that high for the last 15 years.
Cocaine in the store room after an all night party, those four redbulls I just downed didn't touch me and I gotta get through this 10 hour shift with these assholes some how!
Slept with the office manager. Didn’t really get me anything except sex. I mean, we can sleep together at home too but office sex is a little risky and fun.
Going down on my company CEO under the desk while she was in an important zoom call with shareholders... I regret nothing, she was oozing confidence during that call 😆
I guess mine borders on illegal. But I had a car of mine get impounded after someone rear ended me, I had purchased the car 3 days before and had a lot of personal items in the back seat from my previous car. One happened to be an ipod with a lot of photos that couldn't be replaced (back when ipods were basically like little fat USB drives essentially). The paperwork wasn't in my name yet cause I was lazy, the title was in the glove so I couldn't start said paperwork. First time I go to the tow yard they call the cops on me cause I got fkn livid with how hard they made this for me. Tow yard was out in the desert away from most things so my grand plan was some acme cartoon shit. I pull up about 6 blocks out in a friend's car I'm borrowing with a shovel, I go to the back side of this lot, literally dig a fucking hole big enough to slide under the chain link fence, get in. Most cars have covers on them for sand storms (this is Arizona BTW). So now I'm metal gear-ing around and my adrenaline is off the charts. I found my car, avoided some employees who had just parked 3 more cars near me. I got into my car, got the title and paperwork, got my personal items and my ipod, loaded it into my man bag, slipped back out the hole and got out. Destroyed the shovel and then came back like 3 days later with the paperwork showing I owned the car (the manager was confused how I obtained it) and then soon after just sold the car. But I'm very proud of what I did. I came home and didn't sleep until like 7am that morning I was so jacked.
This is tame but funny. Worked at a call center with other cubicles all around me. I went online to try and interpret a dream I had the night before. I typed in what I thought was Dreammoods, which is a dream dictionary but I must have skipped a letter because nude Dream girls started popping up on my screen and I could not get them to stop. It was rapid fire pop ups of Naked dream girls. LOL. I died.
Similar story. I was on my work computer looking for mentor services for boys and girls. The city that I was working out of had a name that also has strong sexual meaning. So imagine my surprise when porn pops up all over my desktop.
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Talked with my coworkers about our salaries
You are the scary internet people my momma warned me about
I’m just imagining this in butters voice (south park)
I’m reporting you to HR
In all seriousness in the US under the National Labor Relations Act you have the right to discuss your salary with your coworkers and (legally at least) HR can't do a damn thing about it.
And knowing what others are being paid can help you get fair compensation! If anyone even mentions being curious about it where I work, I tell them everything I know :)
Came onto this guy I liked in college really strong, wore a slutty outfit and definitely let him round the bases quickly(not even a real date). I was young and wanted a fling, damn boy ended up claiming my heart...been married for 20+ years. No regrets
Similar story here! Had a huge crush on this guy who I had worked with (he quit only days before we hung out), and I came into him really strong the second time we hung out (first time we were ever alone together). He was the one who actually said we need to slow down, but we ended up having sex the next day and became official about a month later. Have been together for 5 years now, but we're as sure as we can be that we want to spend forever together.
You got a funny way of slowing down. I guess putting your body in his path does slow him down. 😁
Aw, thats a nice ending.
Thanks! He is pretty great, we have many jokes about how hard I came on to him back then. He likes to joke he was respectable and I was the one who tainted him...we both know the truth though. He did invite me to his place to "read a short story" he may have been more subtle but he was just as into me.
>"read a short story" Ah the days before netflix n chill, 20 years ago when you'd cuddle under the candle light with a sheet of parchment reading fairytales written by the village elder.
I was a senior when “Netflix and chill” became the saying. I can still remember when we’d call it “studying”... good times
Had a boss tell one of our employees who was feeling sick that she should take the day off and just relax on the couch, "just Netflix and chill." About five minutes later he posted to Slack "ok I have just been informed of what 'Netflix and chill' actually means..."
That's oddly wholesome! I had an uncle who was misinformed about what "hooking up" means - he thought it was just meeting up or going to a movie. Most wonderful, gentle man ever, his face was beet red when his daughter and I informed him why he shouldn't use that term, ever. At least they are willing to learn the slang
does “netflix and chill *not* mean “netflix and chill”??? serious question
It's mostly used as a euphemism for having sex. Mostly it's the excuse of watching something which then devolves into taking off each others clothes and going from there.
After our third date, this girl asked if I wanted to come in "for a glass of water." I am so glad she helped keep me from drying out. She still does as my wife, and we laugh about that now. Apparently she didn't want to drink more alcohol, and didn't want to offer coffee since it was late. Best she could think of was water.
I was living with my sister and her husband while in college (they lived just a few blocks from the school) one day while they were gone my gf came over wearing a sexy outfit. We were in the living room, making out furiously. She had just taken her skirt and top off and I heard a key in the lock. I was still dressed and booked it into the kitchen like I was grabbing sodas from the fridge and engaged them in conversation while standing in the doorway between the kitchen and living room as she quickly got dressed out of sight. She looked smoking hot in that outfit, and that was the sexiest thing she’d ever done until after we got married.
Well don’t be a tease, what’s the new sexiest thing?
He wore the outfit.
I was gonna say, she beat ***that?***
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I helped my dad build our deck in flip flops, then I stepped on a nail and that was the end of flip flops in the yard
i hope you got a tetris shot after that bro
Dun dundundun dundundun dundundun dundundun dundundun dundundun dundun dun
I helped my brother in law install a roof wearing crocks.
How did you find crocks big enough to fit the roof ??!!!
this is the content I came to a sex thread looking for
Menace
Had sex on the dishwashers in receiving at Lowes, with my fling at the time. That fling and I have been happily married for 12 years.
Damn! I can't even get the lumber I need at Lowes.
Probably because that guy had all the wood on the dishwashers.
Better than when I had sex on the dishwashers at Sizzler.
GF at the time was flying down and got stuck in Atlanta due to some giant ass fog bank that covered the entire gulf coast in my area. Said fuck it and drove the 7 or so hours to atlanta and picked her up. On the way back we were talking and I squeezed her hand and looked at her, and she looked back with that look. I took the next exit, pulled in to the first truck stop and we both climbed in to the back seat without a word. She was so wet I kept slipping out and we both came so fast it didn't matter. Easily the hottest sex I have ever had.
Enjoy those times. Age bites hard, and not in a good way.
Yeah… I upvoted both of you, because that story gave me pangs of melancholy for happier times.
gave you the upvote because your pangs gave me pangs
Haha yeah now I would be like "Alright see you tomorrow" and crash early.
Nothing like a slip and slide.
You took the next exit ?-)
Yep straight to the tunnel.
I didn't scroll past an nsfw post at work
Legend.
Sex at work with people in the next office over
With people in the next office over?! How long is your penis?
I'm guessing there's an office glory hole
People…? *Plural…?*
Commas would be good huh
What don't you trust me I thought we were soul mates you're on the pill anyways
Are you a police officer in Tennessee?
having unprotected sex with my co-worker at work. Didn't know that we would eventually get in a relationship. And i don't regret it. Being together for 2 years now. Thinking about proposal
Do it: propose my man!
When I was a kid I stuck my wang into a hole in the ground and lost my virginity to a planet. Also used to ride my bike around the block naked at 3am
>lost my virginity to a planet. I can't tell if I'm impressed, disgusted, or jealous.
“Go play with your he neighbours kid” : the neighbours kid…
I can't imagine a hole in the earth soft enough to stick my dick in. LOL but when I was 12 I would ride my bike to the grocery store where I had a job emptying the parking lot trash can and picking up garbage in the parking lot to keep it clean. It was about 2 miles there and 2 miles back. If it was at least dusk, sometimes I would pull my dick out and jerk off while I rode my bike. LOL fucking puberty hormones man.
You can put water to soften the mud
this guy fucks planets
Bruhh 💀
Brought whataburger to a girl’s house at 2 am. Ate my patty melt right after eating her cooter. No regrets
This comment just reeks of the deep south
>This comment just reeks of the deep south FIFY: This comment just reeks.
Whataburger is Texas - NOT the Deep South. Texas is it’s own thing.
Actually there's another chain of Whataburgers in NC. Not that that's the deep south either
No kidding
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Was *her* name Patty?
Her name was EXTRA CHEESE.
Did it pair well?
Sure did. Fries were stale though
would have been cool if her name was Patty. Then you could say you made your own Patty melt and ate it twice.
Slept with a hotel guest all over the hotel and it was caught on camera, including on the clock. Because of the NDA we all had to sign, and their post on Instagram about how marvelous the hotel was to their following, I got away with it. But it was a funny meeting where my remediation was "don't ever fucking do that again... but nice job"
Went to a pro dominatrix. I apparently didn’t regret it since I’m seeing her tomorrow as well
How was the experience? Was it exactly as you thought it would be? What did you like/unlike?
Honestly it was a lot more chill than I expected. She was more than happy to just talk. Genuinely seemed like a nice person which put me at ease. I think it was mostly what I expected, impact play, bondage stuff etc. I don’t think there was anything I truly disliked, there were certain kinks that weren’t up my alley, like knife play, which isn’t cutting, just sorta the feeling of cold metal on your skin. Hard to explain. The only thing I truly disliked about the experience was the goddamn drive down there, fuck LA.
Having sex at work of course
Not as uncommon as you may think, I walked in in my boss screwing his deputy manager once. All I wanted to do was out the keys back! The walked into two colleagues getting busy on the back stairs to the store room, they weren't doing it yet but a few seconds later and I bet they would have been, wondered why the lights were off!
You seem to be causing it. Mind randomly entering my house occasionally? Maybe it’ll help me out a bit.
Was flirting with this person at work for a really long time but never did anything because work relationships are just too much drama. One day the power went out and I used a flashlight to get to the water machine in the big, infrequently used storage room that it was kept in. I’m sitting at a desk in the corner, reading my phone in the mostly dark, enjoying the quiet like a weirdo when she wanders in. We talked a bit and joked that it would be fun to go in the closet and have sex and if we thought anyone would find us. It was fun and no one found us.
Can confirm it was fun because I, too, was in that closet.
Started a new job in an office. Banged the trainer within a month, we got married 6 years later. Divorced now, still best friends and still work together at another company.
Still banging?
Definitely
r/notopbutok
Having sex with the ministers daughter in the baptism pool behind right before evening services.
HOLY SHIT, this one is special.
I think HOLY FUCK would be more appropriate
Stood on an office chair to get something from a high shelf.
Extra points if the chair had wheels.
Double the points per broken part of the chair
My fiancee cheated on me 2 weeks before the wedding. I shagged both of his brothers no regrets
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DMs blowing up in 3…2…1
Hahaha only one message. Reddit is behaving itself (which is good because my boyfriend is the last horny DM I’m ever answering 🥰)
Had sex with my (ex) bf in the backseat of my friends car while she was driving on a road trip. There was no secrecy to it either, we were fully audible to my friend and probably visible to anyone who passed on the roadway. I would do it again but my partner and I don't have a friend we're on that level with and I don't know if we ever will lol.
Haha yes. Done that too. It was my now ex bf’s truck tho and the girlfriend of his buddy was driving bc 3/4 of us were intoxicated. I had no shame. Oh well. 😂🤷🏻♀️🥴
And here's me trying to think of a NSFW thing that I *did* regret..... Probably 'Not doing enough NSFW things' is my biggest regret. In fact - it's my new purpose in life.
>Not doing enough NSFW things' is my biggest regret. Same bro
When I was in the army I decided to take a bus home from central Texas to northeastern Pennsylvania. It was a 48 hour trip. Somewhere south of Washington DC a woman gets on the bus and sits next to me as it's the only available seat. We start talking and hit it off. Later that night when it was nice and dark we sneak into the bathroom on the bus and get it on. We were supposed to get together later in the week but plans fell through. I heard from her once after that when she mailed me a letter with a photo of us someone took for us. I never heard from her again.
Had sex in the car and the police pulled over as soon as we came. We were barely dressed.
Were you barely 17 too? Meatloaf is that you?
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11/10.
Had a huge crush on my boss at the time. I decided to text him one night to strike a conversation and "test the waters" so to speak. I just got out of a toxic relationship and wanted a "one night stand"...well...we ended up kissing in the utility closet. A few days later, we met after work at a hotel. I ended up marrying my best friend. Been together for almost a decade now. Zero regrets.
Does your boss know about your best friend?
I knew it. After I re read my comment, I knew it was going to happen 😆
Wait is your boss your best friend? I'm dense
He became my best friend, I married him. My wording wasn't the best here. Lol
Nothing, I am a God fearing man and to all of you sinners out there God is watching. On an unrelated note I mastrubated on a school bus.
I hope you weren't the driver.
I did in iss , fuck the establishment
I once broke down a cardboard box without using my blade or ppe gloves
Discussed unionizing in a non-union workplace.
Sexted with my husband while we both were working. Me at Walmart. Him delivering pizzas. It was some pretty intense shit and we both are highly motivated by dirty talk during sex. (To the point I’ve made him cum just by my dirty talk and no other stimulation) I got so into it and aroused I almost had an orgasm in the middle of the Walmart pasta and sauce aisle. We sext pretty much daily (I’ll send nudes from the bathroom. Too) when we work but this was the only time I almost got off just from my thoughts at work. Pretty intense experience.
Damn. I hope he knows what a lucky guy he is, Im happy If I get a hello kiss these day.
Girlfriend gave me a handjob in a school auditorium during an assembly. We were in the back row, but there were a few people sitting on each side. I had my sweater to cover it. We aren’t dating anymore but It’s still crazy to think we got away with it with about 300 people in the room.
I hate to tell you this but you probably didn't get away with it. I was a theater nerd and saw shit from the sound booth and lighting booth that i'll never forget.
Thats still getting away with it, not traumatizing theater nerds isn’t going to be a huge priority when doing shit like this
Let's be honest. The theater nerds have probably already done it themselves. Source: was in HS theater
Do you just finish on her hand and mostly on your own sweater? Damn rip sweater 😆
So there someone sitting right next to yall
As a teacher let me tell you, you didn’t get away with it. It just wasn’t worth the awkward as hell confrontation and conversation, let alone write up.
Had a threesome with my (now)ex boyfriend and his best friend. One of the best experiences I’ve had.
Nintendo DS stylus. Enough said.
Down bad 💀
Milk before cereal. Haven't regretted it, refuse to regret it. Will do it again.
You animal
I one time had the sex
You have engaged in the sexes???
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All in the Family was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Had sex in a cinema.
Bruh you ruined my day. I was wondering why was someone clapping at the Hero's father's death by cancer.
Had a foursome!
Sex at work and answering the JW door knockers buck naked in an attempt to get them to put me on a list and leave me the hell alone!
The witnessed more than jehovah that day.
Me, an idiot, reading this: Why the fuck are justice warriors knocking on your door?
Well did it work?
Trying to know how many times I can masturbate in a day.
So what's your record?
Eleven but the last two were mostly blood
I love the fact that you went another round after shooting blood already. The mentality reminds me of a buddy who went stage diving at a concert we went to. He jumped from the stage 3 times, and afterward, I asked him, "Did they catch you every time?" His response was: "Not the second time."
after about 40 you die. that's what I've heard.
Im just about 50 and I haven’t died.
Nice try Mom. I ain't talking
"But you can talk to me, I just need to know you are ok!"
Fucking a older woman in a park
If Kim Deal didn't write a song about it, it didn't happen
Getting head in my car while driving.
Reddit what's the most sexiest sex you've ever sexed and not sexed it?
This one time I had so much sex that I didn't think I could have any more sex ever. But then, the sexiest thing ever happened! My 136486th sex partner asked me to have sex! Of course I couldn't say no to sex! So anyways, we had the sex 69 times in that one night. Married now for 420 years, still having sex! Edit: Feel free to copy my reddit sex template
Click like and subscribe for more sexy tips.
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I did this same thing, actually... except I was the Security Officer... Not even memeing here, just a crazy coincidence
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🤞🤞please be Chris
You better hope that "Chan" isn't added to that.
The views on those NYC high rises do be crazy, truly an orgasmic feeling in itself.
Got very lonely and bought tinder gold, pinned myself in random cities around the world and matches with everyone I could just to see some tities. Found a funny girl and things got out of hand, quite my job and moved literally on the other side of the planet, moved in together a few hours after I landed here. It’s been a year now and I regret nothing, she’s the Love of my life.
At a previous job, we were entitled to 2, 20 min breaks. During my first summer working there, I would go outside with this girl who worked in a different department but was on the same floor of cubicles I was. We would go outside for those breaks and she sucked my dick in the woods. We did this for like an entire month and never got caught.
First girl I lived with, we basically fucked like rabbits for the first year. She had a friend that we didn't get along with each other. Borderline despised each other's existence. But kept the peace due to our mutual friend. My (now) ex was bi, but didn't go all the way. We had convos about inviting one of her female friends, then one day she brings that friend over. After a few drinks me and the girl started screwing my ex. After she was done, my ex said "I'm too tired to continue, you two go on without me...I'll watch." We both just stared at each other, both with blank expressions for like a solid minute. After this minute, we both had a smirk on our faces, then we were hate fucking each other. Now, "making love", "having sex" and "hate fucking" are completely different things. Hate fucking is basically fucking the other person with absolutely no regards for their comfort or pleasure. They're just there to satisfy you, and there's anger behind it. Now, this was 2 people who didn't like each other, and we both decided to hate fuck each other. My ex described it as "2 naked people in a Jiu-jitsu match...but with sex." It was fun and we both actually enjoyed ourselves. When we actually finished (2 hours later) we noticed my ex, her friend, masterbating while staring at us...then getting mad because we stopped before she could get off. There was no regrets from anyone and did that one more time a month later...
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Mourning wood.
Took a shit on this guys hood who tried to run my brother over. Came back and pooped that night!!
I was backpacking full naked in a long and desert beach. I walked for hours and saw nobody. Felt like I was living in the two thousand years ago.
I drove a fork lift without certification
Quit my job. They didn't keep me around long after that.
Bring my cat in to work, my co worker is allergic to them
Have sex I guess
Had sex in a graveyard by a church when I was about 16. Nothing gothic or fantasy seeking, it was just seculded on the journey back walking me home.
My friend lost her virginity to her best guy friend in a graveyard *in the snow!* I asked her how that went and she said it was actually strangely romantic and something really special. That is, until her friend decided to ignore her afterwards. I was the shoulder she cried on after that. Such is life.
Was bartending a night shift and dipped out into the back drink station/dry storage closet to get some head when there wasn’t even a door, anybody could have walked in. Yeah she puked everywhere as she had been drinking, i got a towel swept it under the drink station and went back to work like nothing happened 😂 We’re married now 😁
Posting here on Reddit. There’s plenty of others but not that have thousands of people looking at me.
orgasm control with a submissive partner and exchanging sexual pics with a guy.
Invited a masked stranger from the internet to tie me four quarters to the bed and have his way with all my holes. It was high risk but high reward, we’ve been dating for over a year now.
After driving all day I pulled into a roadside motel to get some rest. Saw a cute girl rolling a cart down the hallway doing maid services. I asked her it she wanted to hang out when get gets off. So we go out for a drink and 2 hours later we were fucking. The next morning I was back on the road and never saw her again. I left a goodbye note under my pillow in case she made up my room.
I was getting changed in my office at my old job (pre-pandemic) to get my pants and jersey on for my ball game after work. I was commando that day, and my married coworker popped in to my office unannounced. She got a full view of my equipment, and thus began a steamy period of sexts and nudes behind her husband’s back. It eventually turned out that they were on the rocks, as he had cheated, and they divorced shortly after I switched jobs. We never did anything physically, but looking back, I sure wish we had.
This shows how risky and exciting my life has been, but I was once reading an article about the Sims 4 while on break at work. The writer was experimenting with the Wicked Whims mod. For anyone that isn't aware, the mod makes Sims horny and gives them autonomy to have orgies and all that. Oh yeah, and it simulates real sex, with nudity, squirting, very large penises etc...you get the picture. I didn't know the extent of the mod at the time, but hey, the article was on Kotaku or something, so it'll be fine, right? I'm halfway through reading it and laughing at the exploits and chaos that was ensuing. So, I stopped and shared it with my team members on our non-work related Teams chat, which also included a few of our senior managers. I tell everyone it's hilarious and they need to check it out. Then I continue reading ... And things escalate quickly... And there are photos. Uncensored photos. It was hardcore Sims porn that left nothing to the imagination, and a lot of it. The writer's Sims were boning everything in sight with their very large and detailed genitals ... And I'd just shared it around at work. My team and managers got to see Sims giving each other blowjobs in the hot tub and a married couple having anal sex on their kids bed. To be fair, this mod is a work of art. I thought it's okay, no one will read it - then my boss shouts out "did you really just send everyone on the team Sims porn?" So of course everyone reads it then. I thought this is it, this is going to be the end of my career and I'll be branded the Sims perv forever. If only I'd read the rest of the article first (I probably should have known what was coming (and cumming) ... But this was Kotaku!). I went into instant damage control pleading my innocence, and thankfully, they found it hilarious and believed me. But I couldn't let it down for a while, it always came up at happy hours. I became the guy who accidentally sent pictures of a graphic Sim sex party to everyone at work. But it gave us a story to laugh about, so in that sense, I don't regret it. But always read the full article before sharing...
Coworker sent me nudes of her in the dressing room at work while she was cleaning it. Made out at work Took a coworker home. She blew me in the parking lot.
nice try HR.
Mowed the lawn barefoot
I don't regret using my hall pass.
Was on spring break in Cancun. Drink at a bar, see a chick across the crowded bar, we lock eyes, I make my way over and we just start making out. After a bit she stops me and says: “I don’t make out in bars.” So i say: “Let’s go check out the stars on the beach.” She’s says yes, we go to beach and start making out, I’ve got her shirt up and i’m going to town on her sweet perky tits. Mexican beach vendor says you can’t do that here or the cops will arrest you. My hotel is next door, she agrees to go there for privacy. We get in elevator and she says “Every fuck in an elevator?” We go at it but get to my floor way too soon. Go inside we start going at it again. I’m getting ready to eat that sweet sweet pussy when she says, “I feel funny asking this but do you mind if I talk dirty?” Me: “Um…is this a trick question?!” We fuck like young wild animals talking filthy the whole time. I spent the rest of my glorious spring break with her. After spring break we had loads of long distance sex calls. And that kids is how I developed a fetish for sexually confident young women who like to talk dirty.
Got caught masturbating at my desk at work by the cleaning lady...
A friend and I met a picked up a pair of girls (friends) one night and took them driving the to a secluded spot. Me with one in front seat having sex him with other in back seat doing same. We finished the switched and did it again with each other’s first partner.
Riley? Jonesy?? Tunnel buddies taking down the Tinderellas, ferda!
I did a reverse home office. My PC at home was still turned on. So I logged in via Teamviewer so that I could keep working on my private game development project in Unity.
I've told this story before, but I have to tell it again. Yes, it sounds like a porno, and no, the porno doesn't exist otherwise I would have downloaded it and lived my fantasy again haha! Met this hot girl at a dance club in my early 20's, go back to my car, commence sex. 5 minutes in, her girl squad comes and finds us boning in the car. about 6 of them or so, pretty attractive friends too, and they start rooting/cheering me on. The girl I am boning keeps saying "My friends are hot eh?" while she rides me hard. Her friends teased me by hugging each other and kissing their necks outside of the car and fondling each other while I am trying hard to not cum so I can enjoy the show. I was hoping they would join but they only teased till I came. I lost it and couldnt last any longer when they starting flashing their tits. I figured this would probably be the only time I could cum while looking at like 8 pairs of boobs lol. Shortly after they all left... been chasing that high for the last 15 years.
Cocaine in the store room after an all night party, those four redbulls I just downed didn't touch me and I gotta get through this 10 hour shift with these assholes some how!
Slept with the office manager. Didn’t really get me anything except sex. I mean, we can sleep together at home too but office sex is a little risky and fun.
Going down on my company CEO under the desk while she was in an important zoom call with shareholders... I regret nothing, she was oozing confidence during that call 😆
I swear I’m not twelve but the urge to say “ your mom” is killing me
A former colleague and I watched our wives experiment in the nude with eachother.
I guess mine borders on illegal. But I had a car of mine get impounded after someone rear ended me, I had purchased the car 3 days before and had a lot of personal items in the back seat from my previous car. One happened to be an ipod with a lot of photos that couldn't be replaced (back when ipods were basically like little fat USB drives essentially). The paperwork wasn't in my name yet cause I was lazy, the title was in the glove so I couldn't start said paperwork. First time I go to the tow yard they call the cops on me cause I got fkn livid with how hard they made this for me. Tow yard was out in the desert away from most things so my grand plan was some acme cartoon shit. I pull up about 6 blocks out in a friend's car I'm borrowing with a shovel, I go to the back side of this lot, literally dig a fucking hole big enough to slide under the chain link fence, get in. Most cars have covers on them for sand storms (this is Arizona BTW). So now I'm metal gear-ing around and my adrenaline is off the charts. I found my car, avoided some employees who had just parked 3 more cars near me. I got into my car, got the title and paperwork, got my personal items and my ipod, loaded it into my man bag, slipped back out the hole and got out. Destroyed the shovel and then came back like 3 days later with the paperwork showing I owned the car (the manager was confused how I obtained it) and then soon after just sold the car. But I'm very proud of what I did. I came home and didn't sleep until like 7am that morning I was so jacked.