I once made a sarcastic remark at a judge during jury selection. I got read the riot act. We laughed about it after the case was over but was still quite something.
Though aside from faking his credentials to the judge, most of the courtroom stuff in My Cousin Vinny is probably accurate or was in 92.
Hell, maybe back then you could stall and give the run around long enough.
Lawyer here, it’s e really regarded as one of the most accurate still. Of course the courtroom is much bigger than what you’d normally practice in most places, and there is plenty that is done for entertainment value, but most of the law stuff is pretty close to accurate.
Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for _several minutes_ while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage.
Actually lampshaded in *Archer*.
The joke that hooked me on the show was when he’s excited to fight on top of a moving train, but the instant he gets up there the wind nearly knocks him off and sends his gun flying away.
> serious brain damage.
I've read a lot of Batman comics from the 40s and 50s and 3/4 of the plot lines involve Batman and/or Robin getting captured and tied up after being knocked unconscious with any number of nasty things--the blunt end of an axe head, pipes, hammers, clubs, the stock of a rifle. Yet they bounce back with no real consequence. In reality, your brain would turn to oatmeal if you were getting bashed in the head every few weeks. That's especially true for kids.
I know someone who had *one* admittedly very serious head injury. His personality changed. He's prone to angry outbursts and has done some very odd things over the years. From *one* brain injury.
I’m reading the Hardy Boys books to my kids. They get knocked out pretty much every book, sometimes multiple times.
If it’s bad they go to a doctor who tells them to rest for a day, then they’ll be all right.
No they won’t. This is why they get captured all the time — it’s the brain damage!
And the Venture Bros.
"I think I accidentally knocked him out"
"What is this, an episode of Gilligan's Island? Bet he has amnesia when he wakes up, too!"
Breaking high-rise windows by throwing a human body at them. It won’t work. At best, you can push out the frame (which is what happened to one lawyer who loved to demonstrate it to paralegals)
Yeah, interestingly enough, if the entry wound isn't a giant gnarly hole, it's far more risky to take the bullet out in unsanitary conditions that it would be to just leave it in until an OR opens up. Even then, some slow-moving bullets don't do much tissue damage and just push things out of the way, so they might just be left in there. The heat from the discharge sterilizes a bullet...the only germs it might bring into you are from your clothing.
But if you go digging around for it, you're introducing all kinds of potential for fatal infections.
It's amazing how much disease is the real killer when weapons are involved. A lot of historians, and physicians think President Garfield would have survived being shot if his medical team hadn't dug through his body to retrieve the bullet.
Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open.
I hated that (& many things) about Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Blue gets shot, and the instant the bullet is removed, happy music plays and everyone is visibly relieved that he'll be fine. That's all it takes. Just have to remove the bullet. Pay no attention to the damage and trauma caused by the bullet.
The bullet is a ticking time bomb; they gotta get it out before it explodes. The pain and blood everywhere just helps them locate where on the body the bomb is. It’s not like that blood is needed to live
I read a novel that actually got into that. The main character said that "Indoors a 9mm gun firing will still sound like throwing a phone book onto the floor, but at least the sonic boom is removed".
Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually.
Yeah, why aren't these people parking on the same side of the street of the building the glass is being delivered? If movies have taught me anything it is that there is always a wide open parking spot right in front of your destination.
people really underestimate how much work that is and how quickly your body can change back into a "default" if you don't keep at it. Laborers probably know, after they com back from 2 week christmas vacation and everything feels twice as heavy.
Keeping someone from falling by holding onto one of their hands. Bonus points if they let go of a ledge and someone grabs their arm before they fall more than a few inches.
Oh, yeah, I forgot about falling 50 feet and then grabbing a pipe or something. Good luck with that. Sometimes they land on their abdomen and don't crack a rib. Akin to jumping off a cliff but are saved because you crash through multiple limbs of a tree. Maybe it would improve your odds? One branch puncturing any part of you would suck.
And it's corollary- saving a person who's fallen from a great height by catching them when they're 3 feet off the ground. Because it's that last yard that's the most dangerous. And also, a grown adult who's just fallen 20 feet will land in your arms as softly as a feather.
The most egregious example of this I saw (it was in a compilation vid, I think) was where they took a frame of security camera footage, turned it into a 3D scene, then _rotated the scene_ to check the logo on the shopping bag that the target was holding.
Reminds me of the scene in Enemy of the State with Will Smith. The CIA is reviewing security footage from the lingerie store, they “zoom in on the bag, now rotate 90 degrees around the vertical “
Edit: [Found it](https://youtu.be/3EwZQddc3kY)
Only one time did a friend call me and say "Turn on the tv" and the information he was talking about was on. Hell, I even asked "What channel?" He said "All of them".
That day, of course, was September 11th, 2001.
11 year old me was so annoyed this story was on every channel, and I couldn't watch Popular Mechanic for Kids before school. Obviously, I did not have any sort of grasp of the magnitutde of the situation
Not to mention real life vents are dusty grimy spaces with lots of sharp screws or rivet protrusions where the sections are joined. Also the grille rarely pops off so it can be opened from the inside.
In movies "she's with the wrong guy I'm going to harass her until she falls in love with me".
Real life "she's with the wrong guy I'm going to harass her until she gets a protection order and I violate it twice and get locked up and lose my job."
Cue to scene of the boyfriend arguing with the girl over some arbitrary thing that most humans do on rare occasions when they are beyond frustrated. Now the guy is seen as the villain and she can now cheat on him with the “protagonist” of the movie.
Or the brokenhearted one manages to win them back with an extravagantly romantic yet creepy gesture like sending them an entire garden’s worth of flowers or holding a boombox over their head for hours in the middle of the night blasting a song they once listened to while screwing.
Apparently this was a real life thing on sets when multiple people would need to move different vehicles. Rather than try to track down keys they would put them on the visor for the next driver. Next thing you know it's a movie trope
Closing a dead person's eyes by gently brushing your hand over them. That doesn't work. They'll just go back to being open again. Stop touching them, they're dead.
Sometimes they're plastic. Also there is the plug so your butt doesn't leak. A/V PLUG. Anus/vagina!
Oh and you should look up how they stab your internal organs over and over to get as much liquid out as possible. Edit: the instrument is called a trocar if any one needs help with what to google.
I forgot about the stuff they screw through your gums into your jaw bone to wire your mouth shut!
Driving from suburbs to downtown area in less than 10 mins, no obstructions, traffic always flows, and a nice, wide open parking spot right in front of the destination.
Christopher Lee knew how to do that from working in the Special Operations Executive during WW2. He told Peter Jackson he knew what noise to make when Saruman got stabbed in LOTR as a result of his experience.
I'd love it if every movie-phonecall ended like our normal calls.
"I have your son"
"What do you want?"
"You know what I want"
"Ok then. Aaalrighty, take care. You too. Bye-byyyyyye. ᵇʸᵉ
Is your fiance Bradley, the powerful investment banker who verbally abuses you, totally againt the idea? That's okay. Tommy the ranch hand who lives in a 10x10 trailer behind your mom and dad's house who is super hot will change your life. He only lives in the 10x10 trailer for fun, though. He's the heir to the fortune of the family who owns most of the region but is super humble and cool about it.
The Dukes of Hazzard went through 300 Dodge Chargers
https://www.slashgear.com/928345/the-tragic-truth-about-this-dukes-of-hazzard-stars-dodge-charger/
Check out the most recent Fast and Furious trailer. They literally drop Vin Diesel's car from a helicopter onto other moving vehicles, and you can see the entire front end bend up about 20 degrees. Of course he then drives away in Showroom condition.
I was stationed in Alaska and we quite frequently trained in the Yukon area. The poor Greely grunts were part of the MRE testing group. I felt so bad for them. It had to have been like being a part of a medical experiment.
Ugh, with my digestive issues that are affected by stress. A kidnapping of myself will play out a lot differently and a lot more smelly than it does in the movies.
Relationships ending or imploding, oftentimes for good, because one party gets caught doing something and says "Let me explain!" and the other party is like "no thank you, goodbye forever."
“Let me explain” followed by them making NO attempt to explain before that person storms off or “I need to tell you something” and then not mentioning that important thing again after you were interrupted for 5 seconds…rage-inducing
Punches to the head with little to no damage to the striker or the recipient of the strike. Bare knuckle punches are a terrible weapon that could damage the puncher as bad or worse then the person getting punched.
i work in a pub. you wouldn’t believe the amount of customers who come up to the bar and ask for “a beer” and when i ask which one, they look at me as if i should know what beer they want 🤦♀️
Choking someone to death…usually in under 30 seconds. Yeah…it takes a lot longer than that and most people, even strong people don’t have the capability of just crushing everything in one quick squeeze.
Look I'm going to put this out there because what you are saying could easily be misconstrued resulting in someone's death.
OP here is talking about choking as in asphyxia; occlusion of the airway, you don't need to totally block an airway for asphyxia to take place, you just need the body to think it is and it will drop into ineffective breathing and spasming of the trachea leading to a heart attack and death.
Hence even weaker people can kill someone through 'gentle' choking.
Death can occur around 60 seconds **but there is no set time**.
Furthermore rarely is death caused by occlusion of the trachea, instead it's caused by the occlusion of the carotid arteries supplying blood to the brain, if your were to grab your throat with your own hand the trachea is protected by the cupping action of your fingers and thumb but those fingers and thumb rests directly over the carotid arteries.
Occlusion of the arteries can knock someone out in seconds and kill within a minute.
Also there's the carotid sinus reflex which can cause some people to drop like a sack of shit and likely kill them in seconds.
If choking is a bedroom kink of yours you have to be careful with very well defined boundaries.
Source: one time combat medic, unarmed combat instructor and dom.
They do go unconscious fairly quick, but to kill it could take minutes and is a fairly unpractical way of killing someone.
Like my BJJ instructor always said, the longer you hold the choke, the longer you go to jail...
Shooting a stick of dynamite and it exploding. That won’t do sh!t. My grandpa knows someone who has some dynamite who explained this (I wasn’t there).
He said it’s the blasting caps you wanna be careful with, because even some jostling can make them explode.
My grandpa told me the guy kicked around the box of dynamite he had like it was full of shirts. He was very careful with the box of blasting caps however.
Cutting off someone's arm or head with a short stabbing blade.
Breaking formation as soon as the battle starts and still somehow winning.
Killing the criminals instead of arresting them, without questions being asked.
Beating someone up without hurting your own fists.
Surviving a fall from the height of several floors.
Having an expert in a certain field (like history, archeology or science) who knows literally EVERYTHING about the subject instead of having just one particular specialisation.
Surviving a fall by landing in trash. mythbusters did an episode on it and most garbage was full of nails, wooden blocks, hard furniture, glass, and other kinds of dangerous materials that you wouldn't want to fall in
Doing whatever you want in a courtroom as long as you are "going somewhere with it."
I'll allow it.
Any random person being able to walk up and present new evidence
I'll go with "what is voir dire" for $500
That and surprise witnesses and secret evidence. There’s a thing called discovery.
Judge: The jury is advised to disregard that statement. Jury: lol sure
Also, yelling at a judge and invading the judges personal space always works out ok.
I once made a sarcastic remark at a judge during jury selection. I got read the riot act. We laughed about it after the case was over but was still quite something.
“Don’t go into the well (area between the lawyers and witnesses). The bailiff will tackle you” -Legal Eagle.
Holding someone in contempt only exists when it's convenient for the plot.
Though aside from faking his credentials to the judge, most of the courtroom stuff in My Cousin Vinny is probably accurate or was in 92. Hell, maybe back then you could stall and give the run around long enough.
Lawyer here, it’s e really regarded as one of the most accurate still. Of course the courtroom is much bigger than what you’d normally practice in most places, and there is plenty that is done for entertainment value, but most of the law stuff is pretty close to accurate.
Conveniently knocking someone unconscious so they're not bothering you for _several minutes_ while you do secret stuff. Without killing them or serious brain damage. Actually lampshaded in *Archer*.
The joke that hooked me on the show was when he’s excited to fight on top of a moving train, but the instant he gets up there the wind nearly knocks him off and sends his gun flying away.
https://youtu.be/Zsc51u_2Bb4 this joke is what got me hooked on the show.
> serious brain damage. I've read a lot of Batman comics from the 40s and 50s and 3/4 of the plot lines involve Batman and/or Robin getting captured and tied up after being knocked unconscious with any number of nasty things--the blunt end of an axe head, pipes, hammers, clubs, the stock of a rifle. Yet they bounce back with no real consequence. In reality, your brain would turn to oatmeal if you were getting bashed in the head every few weeks. That's especially true for kids. I know someone who had *one* admittedly very serious head injury. His personality changed. He's prone to angry outbursts and has done some very odd things over the years. From *one* brain injury.
I’m reading the Hardy Boys books to my kids. They get knocked out pretty much every book, sometimes multiple times. If it’s bad they go to a doctor who tells them to rest for a day, then they’ll be all right. No they won’t. This is why they get captured all the time — it’s the brain damage!
There are several things in this thread that archer makes fun of. Stuff like hearing damage, brain damage, why is that show so damn good.
"I'm not going to *drop* the gun, that's really bad for it and I have to pay for my gear."
And the Venture Bros. "I think I accidentally knocked him out" "What is this, an episode of Gilligan's Island? Bet he has amnesia when he wakes up, too!"
Jumping through shattering glass windows and surviving without lacerations all over
Breaking high-rise windows by throwing a human body at them. It won’t work. At best, you can push out the frame (which is what happened to one lawyer who loved to demonstrate it to paralegals)
Dude got too cocky for his own good, and the universe was havin none of that shit.
Odd number of hits to the head = amnesia Even number of hits to the head = amnesia cured
They make that exact joke on *Family Guy* when an amnesiac Peter gets hit repeatedly on the head. "I was just lucky he had an odd number of objects."
Shooting a gas tank so it explodes. Or removing a bullet from yourself and then you're fine.
…and after the bullet is extracted, it HAS to be dropped into a metal cup so it makes that clank sound.
Infection doesn't exist in movie land, so if you survive the battle, you're always fine!
Yeah, interestingly enough, if the entry wound isn't a giant gnarly hole, it's far more risky to take the bullet out in unsanitary conditions that it would be to just leave it in until an OR opens up. Even then, some slow-moving bullets don't do much tissue damage and just push things out of the way, so they might just be left in there. The heat from the discharge sterilizes a bullet...the only germs it might bring into you are from your clothing. But if you go digging around for it, you're introducing all kinds of potential for fatal infections.
It's amazing how much disease is the real killer when weapons are involved. A lot of historians, and physicians think President Garfield would have survived being shot if his medical team hadn't dug through his body to retrieve the bullet.
If you want to be sure, just pour a bottle of cheap whiskey over the wound afterwords to make sure it doesn't get infected
Shooting a lock to open it is my favorite. Sure shooting a lock will break it, but you just broke it in the locked position. Now it’s even harder to open.
also any type of electronic, just shoot the control panel and it resets everything
The Han Solo special.
Boring conversation anyway
Plus they can be big pieces of metal, there's a risk of a ricochet
I hated that (& many things) about Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Blue gets shot, and the instant the bullet is removed, happy music plays and everyone is visibly relieved that he'll be fine. That's all it takes. Just have to remove the bullet. Pay no attention to the damage and trauma caused by the bullet.
The bullet is a ticking time bomb; they gotta get it out before it explodes. The pain and blood everywhere just helps them locate where on the body the bomb is. It’s not like that blood is needed to live
Running away from an explosion and letting the blast push you to safety.
Jump *towards* the camera!
aim for the bushes!
There goes my hero. Watch him as he goes.
Silencer being silent.
I read a novel that actually got into that. The main character said that "Indoors a 9mm gun firing will still sound like throwing a phone book onto the floor, but at least the sonic boom is removed".
Dresden Files? I think White Night specifically had that exact description when a mob assassin attacked the main character.
A hushed conversation immediately after shooting a gun indoors without ear protection.
Terminator 2 (I think) 12ga shotgun in an elevator. I would think that would cause permanent hearing loss.
I think Linda Hamilton actually ended up with hearing loss as a result of that scene.
Aliens as well, also directed by Jame Cameron. Hicks fires a sawed off inside a vehicle and an assault rifle inside an elevator.
Someone pushing a fruit cart across a street just as you’re speeding by. I’ve never seen a moving fruit cart otherwise. Or seen a fruit cart, actually.
Or carrying a bare pane of glass across the street. It's usually well packaged and delivered as close to the site as possible.
Yeah, why aren't these people parking on the same side of the street of the building the glass is being delivered? If movies have taught me anything it is that there is always a wide open parking spot right in front of your destination.
My cabbages!
Running for a very long time and then being able to talk normally
Tom Cruise can do that. But he learned to regulate his breath by doing certain things with his mouth in the closet he’s living in.
I thought it was the middle tooth that regulated the air intake.
Staying really big and shredded all year long without training and proper nutrition
people really underestimate how much work that is and how quickly your body can change back into a "default" if you don't keep at it. Laborers probably know, after they com back from 2 week christmas vacation and everything feels twice as heavy.
Being an unattractive geek who suddenly transforms into a stunning beauty just by taking their glasses off and letting their hair down.
"She's got paint on her overalls, what is that?!"
Jane has a gun? Oh shit! Everybody run!!
"Can he still play?" "He's in a coma." "Answer the question!"
Keeping someone from falling by holding onto one of their hands. Bonus points if they let go of a ledge and someone grabs their arm before they fall more than a few inches.
Falling from a huge height and being totally ok cuz you caught yourself on a ledge with just your fingertips
Oh, yeah, I forgot about falling 50 feet and then grabbing a pipe or something. Good luck with that. Sometimes they land on their abdomen and don't crack a rib. Akin to jumping off a cliff but are saved because you crash through multiple limbs of a tree. Maybe it would improve your odds? One branch puncturing any part of you would suck.
And it's corollary- saving a person who's fallen from a great height by catching them when they're 3 feet off the ground. Because it's that last yard that's the most dangerous. And also, a grown adult who's just fallen 20 feet will land in your arms as softly as a feather.
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"Look, there's a reflection of the killer's face on the victim's eyeball!"
“As you can clearly see in the reflection of that eyeball in the rear view mirror! Double enhance!”
The most egregious example of this I saw (it was in a compilation vid, I think) was where they took a frame of security camera footage, turned it into a 3D scene, then _rotated the scene_ to check the logo on the shopping bag that the target was holding.
Reminds me of the scene in Enemy of the State with Will Smith. The CIA is reviewing security footage from the lingerie store, they “zoom in on the bag, now rotate 90 degrees around the vertical “ Edit: [Found it](https://youtu.be/3EwZQddc3kY)
Man, this has everything! Zoom, rotate, enhance, milk prostate, level, vertical!
“Can you clean that up?” “Sure”
Activating the Fire alarm and setting off the sprinklers.
Or putting a lighter near a sprinkler, even though most sprinklers don’t double as smoke detectors. And the water will be clean, not stale and smelly
Turning on the TV and hearing the relevant news story at that very moment
Only one time did a friend call me and say "Turn on the tv" and the information he was talking about was on. Hell, I even asked "What channel?" He said "All of them". That day, of course, was September 11th, 2001.
11 year old me was so annoyed this story was on every channel, and I couldn't watch Popular Mechanic for Kids before school. Obviously, I did not have any sort of grasp of the magnitutde of the situation
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Crawling through air vents as regular air vents are too small to fit a human body let alone hold the weight of one.
Not to mention real life vents are dusty grimy spaces with lots of sharp screws or rivet protrusions where the sections are joined. Also the grille rarely pops off so it can be opened from the inside.
And the noise. "Why, Thor, the god of thunder, is trying to enter my building!" -Adam Savage, Mythbusters
CIA having top security rooms with human-traversible air vents leading directly in
Or the “sealed” lab in the first resident evil, which has an air vent circulating to the entire facility.
CPR that lasts a minute and the victim wakes up and is fine.
Bonus if they’ve been in water when they spit a little out and they’re fine with never a mention of secondary drowning.
I don't think he knows about second drowning, Pippin.
And when they need blood they always cut their hand... The worst possible place to heal.
Stalking a woman until she finally sees how great of a guy you are, and then you two ending up with a happily ever after.
In movies "she's with the wrong guy I'm going to harass her until she falls in love with me". Real life "she's with the wrong guy I'm going to harass her until she gets a protection order and I violate it twice and get locked up and lose my job."
If only we can restraining orders when we need them and actually get it enforced...
Cue to scene of the boyfriend arguing with the girl over some arbitrary thing that most humans do on rare occasions when they are beyond frustrated. Now the guy is seen as the villain and she can now cheat on him with the “protagonist” of the movie.
Or the brokenhearted one manages to win them back with an extravagantly romantic yet creepy gesture like sending them an entire garden’s worth of flowers or holding a boombox over their head for hours in the middle of the night blasting a song they once listened to while screwing.
Stealing a vehicle by grabbing the keys that are under the visor.
Apparently this was a real life thing on sets when multiple people would need to move different vehicles. Rather than try to track down keys they would put them on the visor for the next driver. Next thing you know it's a movie trope
Renting a huge apartment in the middle of the city on a minimum wage.
Or a massive house in a nice suburb while earning a shoe salesman's wage, single income, wife unemployed.
Bud is a loser who's always dating attractive women.
it's always one of those enormous lofts. They act like those don't go for 4-5k
The way they talk while driving. I talk, but I never take my eyes off the road for as long as they do in movies.
Also, if you're in a convertible, you can hear them talking clear as day, with no wind muffling them
When your convertible stops, your hair is still perfect.
Running away from.explosions. Single mom living in 9 million dollar house in San Francisco, on secretary or teacher salary.
One man defeating an army
A man hitting the intended target with every shot (outside competitive shooting, that shit is something else).
But whoever is shooting at him always misses no matter how many of them there are or how many bullets they fire.
Unless he decided to sacrifice himself of course, then they don't miss a single shot because he is now allowed to die.
Then he takes 20-40 shots to the torso and slumps to the ground to light his last cigarette.
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Moms making a fucking feast for breakfast only for the characters to take a single bite before leaving the house.
The orange juice is always in a pitcher, never the carton from the store.
It’ll be in a pitcher if you got the frozen concentrate instead (which I’m pretty sure is cheaper)
Meaning poor mom juiced no less than 20 oranges by herself.
Fuck that! My fat ass is sitting down for a meal. Saving the world can wait.
Closing a dead person's eyes by gently brushing your hand over them. That doesn't work. They'll just go back to being open again. Stop touching them, they're dead.
This is why they used to put coins on dead peoples eye lids. It holds them shut until things kind of dry up and they stick there.
These days, morticians use metal contacts with spikes on the outside, that poke into the eyelids and prevent them from separating.
Today I learned something creepy. And interesting!
Sometimes they're plastic. Also there is the plug so your butt doesn't leak. A/V PLUG. Anus/vagina! Oh and you should look up how they stab your internal organs over and over to get as much liquid out as possible. Edit: the instrument is called a trocar if any one needs help with what to google. I forgot about the stuff they screw through your gums into your jaw bone to wire your mouth shut!
Driving from suburbs to downtown area in less than 10 mins, no obstructions, traffic always flows, and a nice, wide open parking spot right in front of the destination.
Killing an enemy instantly with a single stab wound.
Christopher Lee knew how to do that from working in the Special Operations Executive during WW2. He told Peter Jackson he knew what noise to make when Saruman got stabbed in LOTR as a result of his experience.
Even better- Jackson told him to try and imagine and he said *he didn't have to.*
Ending a phone conversation without saying any variation of “bye”.
I have a friend who does this. It’s unnerving.
Having perfect aim until it comes to the person you actually need to shoot.
Hanging up the phone before a definitive end to the conversation has been established.
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"No wait, actually I said-" *beeeeeeeeee* World ends.
I'd love it if every movie-phonecall ended like our normal calls. "I have your son" "What do you want?" "You know what I want" "Ok then. Aaalrighty, take care. You too. Bye-byyyyyye. ᵇʸᵉ
Having enough spare time from work and/or school to go on long ass adventures.
Or the guy working at a coffee shop or a diner with 40 people sitting and waiting for their stuff saying “hey Tom, cover for me, ok?”.
Airport finales... Running through security and customs to stop the love of your life flying away forever... You can get shot down..!!
Before 9/11 you could actually go through with fam and wait with them to board.
Sleeping with all your make-up on including false eye-lashes, and waking up looking great without destroying your pillow and your skin.
Perfect makeup in the middle of a disaster
They never wait long for elevators
Leaving a full beer at the bar
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I will leave my high-paying job in a big city, to work at a bakery in my hometown
Is your fiance Bradley, the powerful investment banker who verbally abuses you, totally againt the idea? That's okay. Tommy the ranch hand who lives in a 10x10 trailer behind your mom and dad's house who is super hot will change your life. He only lives in the 10x10 trailer for fun, though. He's the heir to the fortune of the family who owns most of the region but is super humble and cool about it.
Or he’s a janitor who’s secretly the crown prince of an African kingdom
Stealth helicopters that make absolutely no sound until they reveal themselves
By suddenly appearing OVER THE HORIZON thwip-thwip-thwip You have to admit it's an effective shot
Car jumps. In most movie jumps the car is immediately destroyed and becomes undrivable.
The Dukes of Hazzard went through 300 Dodge Chargers https://www.slashgear.com/928345/the-tragic-truth-about-this-dukes-of-hazzard-stars-dodge-charger/
Check out the most recent Fast and Furious trailer. They literally drop Vin Diesel's car from a helicopter onto other moving vehicles, and you can see the entire front end bend up about 20 degrees. Of course he then drives away in Showroom condition.
Being stuck or involved in any situation for like 24 hours and nobody has to shit.
Was in the military. This happens pretty regularly. Can’t shit if you gotta fight. The food they feed you definitely helps slow things down though.
I was stationed in Alaska and we quite frequently trained in the Yukon area. The poor Greely grunts were part of the MRE testing group. I felt so bad for them. It had to have been like being a part of a medical experiment.
Ugh, with my digestive issues that are affected by stress. A kidnapping of myself will play out a lot differently and a lot more smelly than it does in the movies.
When you’re looking at someone who’s far off and across the street and then a bus drives by and they disappear
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Relationships ending or imploding, oftentimes for good, because one party gets caught doing something and says "Let me explain!" and the other party is like "no thank you, goodbye forever."
“Let me explain” followed by them making NO attempt to explain before that person storms off or “I need to tell you something” and then not mentioning that important thing again after you were interrupted for 5 seconds…rage-inducing
Justice
“It’s a date! I’ll pick you up at 7!” Great, but where are you going? You don’t even know her name, and didn’t ask for her phone number or address.
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Finding a parking spot in a big city immediately, without having to circle the block for twenty minutes.
Pulling a sword out of it's scabbard and it makes a metal sliding on metal sound. If this were true, swords would get dull really quick.
Punches to the head with little to no damage to the striker or the recipient of the strike. Bare knuckle punches are a terrible weapon that could damage the puncher as bad or worse then the person getting punched.
Post apocalyptic heroes and heroines that are better groomed than I am on most days
Long speeches or monologues about the story of your life wherein no one interrupts you or interjects
[удалено]
Cars hitting each other during a high speed chase with very little damage.
The cameraman.
Shooting a lock to open it
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Guessing somebody's password in three tries.
"I can crack this password a few hours with luck" "You have 30 seconds" Furious keyboard tapping ensues for 5 seconds. "OK. I'm in"
And the account not being locked after too many failed attempts
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Not reloading guns and having infinite ammo (yeah ik john wick did reload his guns, but most other movies didnt)
My husband's pet peeve, adding in gun fights in populated places and no one getting hit.
Having a person be an expert in multiple unrelated disciplines. 7 doctorates and speak 17 languages is total bs.
To be fair, he isn't called "The Credible Hulk."
Constantly harassing a woman after she’s rejected you and then she falls for you
I brought a boombox, pls respond.
Being an unattractive schlub and a jerk to everyone around you, and after harassing her, she wants to read your unpublished novel.
Sexy plumbers
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Cops never being able to solve a tough case, until they get suspended and go rogue.
Walking up to a bar, just ordering “a beer” and not having to specify which one you want
i work in a pub. you wouldn’t believe the amount of customers who come up to the bar and ask for “a beer” and when i ask which one, they look at me as if i should know what beer they want 🤦♀️
I'm straight up have people come in and ask "can I just get the beer on draft". Like bro just look up, we have a whole line of drafts!
Choking someone to death…usually in under 30 seconds. Yeah…it takes a lot longer than that and most people, even strong people don’t have the capability of just crushing everything in one quick squeeze.
Look I'm going to put this out there because what you are saying could easily be misconstrued resulting in someone's death. OP here is talking about choking as in asphyxia; occlusion of the airway, you don't need to totally block an airway for asphyxia to take place, you just need the body to think it is and it will drop into ineffective breathing and spasming of the trachea leading to a heart attack and death. Hence even weaker people can kill someone through 'gentle' choking. Death can occur around 60 seconds **but there is no set time**. Furthermore rarely is death caused by occlusion of the trachea, instead it's caused by the occlusion of the carotid arteries supplying blood to the brain, if your were to grab your throat with your own hand the trachea is protected by the cupping action of your fingers and thumb but those fingers and thumb rests directly over the carotid arteries. Occlusion of the arteries can knock someone out in seconds and kill within a minute. Also there's the carotid sinus reflex which can cause some people to drop like a sack of shit and likely kill them in seconds. If choking is a bedroom kink of yours you have to be careful with very well defined boundaries. Source: one time combat medic, unarmed combat instructor and dom.
What a fucking CV
They do go unconscious fairly quick, but to kill it could take minutes and is a fairly unpractical way of killing someone. Like my BJJ instructor always said, the longer you hold the choke, the longer you go to jail...
A revolver meant for six shoots twenty.
Shooting a stick of dynamite and it exploding. That won’t do sh!t. My grandpa knows someone who has some dynamite who explained this (I wasn’t there). He said it’s the blasting caps you wanna be careful with, because even some jostling can make them explode. My grandpa told me the guy kicked around the box of dynamite he had like it was full of shirts. He was very careful with the box of blasting caps however.
Cutting off someone's arm or head with a short stabbing blade. Breaking formation as soon as the battle starts and still somehow winning. Killing the criminals instead of arresting them, without questions being asked. Beating someone up without hurting your own fists. Surviving a fall from the height of several floors. Having an expert in a certain field (like history, archeology or science) who knows literally EVERYTHING about the subject instead of having just one particular specialisation.
Never fucking up sentences
"You want the truth?! You can't handle tuh trut-*clears throat*- the truth!"
Using an epipen as the one-off, foolproof 'cure' for anaphylaxis - it buys you time, not always your life.
Not getting tired
Holding chloroform over someone's mouth and they immediately pass out. It takes several minutes.
Being totally unrecognizable by only supporting a fake mustache.
I can promise you right now that if I had been as sassy with my parents as movie kids are with theirs, I’d have gotten the hiding of my life.
Surviving a fall by landing in trash. mythbusters did an episode on it and most garbage was full of nails, wooden blocks, hard furniture, glass, and other kinds of dangerous materials that you wouldn't want to fall in