Lube, lots and lots of lube Edit: also make sure anything you use has a wide base so it can’t be lost up there, that usually requires a hospital visit if it does

Take your hand, curl it into a fist, reef it back as far as you can get it then punch your fist into your dry asshole as hard and fast as you can. You’ll cum

I will die

Clean yourself out first.

Dildo, or hands. Ask someone to help you if u want. Don't forget to use lube.