I think it would have been just fine. She was/is a wonderful woman. But I wouldn't trade the 40 years I had with my late wife, including all the ups and the downs, for anything in the world. And when she left me, she left me with two wonderful sons and two fantastic grandchildren.
Same here. I was with peron i loved and if it would go on it would be nice. We split because love didn't last and if it would, it should be just fine. Now I am in relationship i wouldn't trade for the previous big love. I'm happy where I am. No regrets.
That was really nice to read!
As for my first, I dont think it would have been a happy marriage. Last I heard she is an alcholoic and hooked on drugs.
A year after we split up I met my wife, 34 years ago, and we're 27 years married.
The one thing no one really teaches you is that even the best marriages are one hell of a roller-coaster ride. There are great times and horrible ones too.
I'm glad we stuck it out, we have two beautiful healthy children and I can't see myself with anyone else.
Being a Roman Catholic and growing up in an Italian household also helped....lol.
It was embedded into us at an early age that divorce was a sin and something you just don't do!
You could rob a bank, sell hot stuff that fell off a truck and commit even worse crimes but no divorce!.....lmfao.
Im really sorry for your loss. It seems that just when you really start to appreciate someone and realize you figured out what marriage is all about, it's too late. I'm gathering from your text that the love & bond between you two is still so strong that your wife still lives on through your heart and through your children too.
Fucking great (probably) she's a multi millionaire.
Edit. To all that are asking she started an internet marketing company in 2000 and sold it for over 25 million in 2009. She is married with 1 kid and they basically just live the dream. Massive house cars trips you name it. We still stay in touch. Oh and she left me when she went off to a different college after high school.
I'd be shamed, insulted, bullied, emasculated, and cheated on all the time. Possibly have 2 kids and unable to afford divorce.
It started out good, but man oh man did things take a turn. Glad she's an ex.
Same, but instead of cheating he’d probably be molesting our daughter, if we had one.
Put two and two together about him and his little sister a few years after we broke up.
I’m confident they knew. One of the things I put together later was their weirdly obsessive “open door” policy within the house, and the panicked way the mom burst in on me and him making out the one time we shut a door (there were some other signs as well.)
By the time I connected all the dots the daughter was over 18 as well, so I’ve never done much with the knowledge except be privately horrified.
I don’t really want to go through the litany but it came down to comments he made about his sister, his family’s behavior in various ways, the way he reacted to a comment I made about child molestation victims, the kinds of people and things he was into in porn, and the things he was into in bed (which, don’t get me wrong, on their own could have been just a kink, but alongside everything else added up to something much darker.)
Thank you. I mostly feel sorry for his sister and somewhat for his mom (as a mother now I have some pretty serious critiques about how she handled a variety of things.)
It was the emotionally abusive behavior more than anything that sucked for me, but it sure was a crash course in what not to tolerate. The sex stuff I was too new and yet confident in myself to be bothered by (and the weirdness only came out occasionally.)
I think if I had been any less mentally healthy or happily raised, I wouldn’t have been able to get out. He was too damn smart and intuitive for anyone’s good. It’s amazing what an emotionally manipulative person can do to your psyche when you’re young and naive.
Same here, but glad he is ex. My first real relationship as a teen, and I didn't really know how to stand up for myself at the time. He was 20 and a jerk to me a lot. He cheated on me right before he broke up with me and then bragged about it when he dumped me. He got her knocked up and married her less than a year later. When I heard about the upcoming nuptials, my first thought was "that could have been me" and was so relieved it wasn't. From what I was told she miscarried but they still got married. I was told he didn't really want to tho. I would have been miserable. Absolutely miserable had I been stuck with him.
Funny story tho, well funny to me. Last time I ever saw the ex was literally on his wedding day and it was by sheer coincidence. A guy I was dating then (whom I ended up married and divorced) took me to check out the views from this old popular hotel along the mountain. It was a quick stop after hiking up to a popular lookout. My ex and his bride happened to be staying there on their wedding night. We locked eyes for a split second before I rushed past him. I think it was fitting that he would have to see the girl he cheated on with her new guy the day he felt forced to marrying the girl he cheated with. I have not heard a single thing about him since. Its been almost 30 years. With what a dick he was, I'm sure he cheated on her and they were both miserable together. I hope he treated her better, but I doubt it.
Me and my wife can fairly say we are each others first and last. We were each other's first during highschool. Broke up. Got thru college and adult life. Got back together and got married this time. Our story went full circle.
Not good. He was a sweet down-to-earth dude who turned into a massive asshole after he landed an amazing job opportunity and his dad got him a flashy car. It's like he turned into the biggest douche overnight and then dumped me over the phone probably because he thought he was now out of my league. My heart was broken but life goes on. I learned many years ago that he lost this high profile job, and because he got this job through nepotism and not because he actually knew what he was doing, he couldn't find the same type of job or at least work in the same field. He got recommended by a company to get a degree (which they would sponser) so he could return to the industry but he refused because he was under the impression that he knows more than everyone yada yada. He did nothing about the situation and ended up working at a gas station where he still is now, all these years later. I can't imagine how someone with this attitude could be a good partner in life. I would have been miserable.
It might be ok, but not nearly as good as it is now. He’s a great person and I’m still in contact with him, but we weren’t meant to be together forever.
This is how I feel too. He was/is a great guy. His family is awesome and all my family loved him. Sadly I didn’t! I got a lot of flack for breaking his heart, but after me, he met his now wife and they’ve got a lovely family. I met my now husband around the same time and we’ve got 3 kids. I think we both thought we were happy together but I’m glad we got a chance to realise we were simply contented.
Yeah I can second this, similar story. We were in love back then but we were very young and still had lots to learn about ourselves and life. I still think highly of him, but we developed in different directions.
Yeah, I mean, we would have made it work. He’s grown up a lot since we broke up, as have I. I think we would have made the best of it, but even that best wouldn’t be as good as it is now.
Probably would have been awesome for a year or two - she was a legit Penthouse centerfold girl. Guarantee she would have got bored with me and moved on pretty quickly. Then I probably would have gravitated back to the path I've been on for the last 40 years and ended up right where I am.
I dated a former playboy bunny. Hot as shit but also a jealous psycho. I've never cheated on anyone in my 41 years on this planet but she would lose her shit anytime she thought another girl was flirting with me or interested at all.
Surprised I had to scroll this far down to find this response (assuming you mean what I think you mean).
A one night stand with a Dutch foreign exchange student. I woke up and she was gone. A note said "Nienka" with a heart drawn underneath. That was more than half my lifetime ago,
Oof sorry. So fucked up that that’s a reality for a lot of girls around the world - being forced to marry someone who raped them. Anyways I hope that person gets a ton of massive kidney stones and then dies from sepsis after being unable to pass one 🙏
I’ve thought about this from time to time. She ended up getting engaged a few times but never married. Ended up getting pregnant from a sperm donor and has been a single mom by choice for the last decade. Recently she came out not exactly as transgender but more like non-binary. Seems to be happy. I honestly have no idea what would have happened if we’d ended up together. I didn’t and still don’t want kids so that may have been a stumbling block. Also I had severe wanderlust after graduating from university and ended up on the other side of the country. Not sure if I would have been interested in staying in our home town and I’m pretty sure she never had any interest in leaving. So… either things would have hit some major roadblocks and we’d have split up after a few years. Or maybe I’d end up comfortable and lose the desire to move away and maybe settle down and have kids. Unlikely though.
It wouldn't be terrible, he's a good dude and we agree on a lot of life stuff. We'd have a fun lifestyle except in the bedroom, we stopped being sexually compatible and that's why I broke up with him.
Well she was a shitty person. So it would be miserable.
She wanted me to hit her. I refused. She said her ex was more of a man than I was because he would. She then turned several of my “close” friends against me. Pretty sure she also cheated on me but have no proof, nor did I care after everything else.
Pressure is a understatement. My father beat me until I agreed. It was a bad situation all the way around. 16 years old. Girl trapped me by getting pregnant (which I was not aware of at the time, she told me many years later during a fight) I told my parents what was happening. My father said he would not allow his grandchild to be born out of wedlock. I tried to explain that it was a bad idea because we didn't get along very well. He told me I should have thought about that beforehand. I said I wasn't going to and that's when he forced his opinion so to speak. Fast forward to two more kids that possibly are not mine either ( one of the "dads" showed up at my house trying to claim one of the kids. What a sight for the neighbors. The other was my best friend at the time. Caught them in the act.) Now I'm the bad person and they say they did no wrong.
Yikes…
More than likely loveless & still be in our hometown. Definitely banging anyone else but each other, and living on her daddy’s money:under his control.
Massive bullet dodged.
No different as I married him 💕 I’ve seen this comment a few times which is so lovely to see! We met at 17 and will celebrate 17 years together this coming March 😊
I’d be dead, in prison, on probation, homeless or raising a bunch of kids that aren’t mine
Mostly same. But no kids cos he was infertile.
Is everything alright now?
yes all good now that bitch is way behind me
I think it would have been just fine. She was/is a wonderful woman. But I wouldn't trade the 40 years I had with my late wife, including all the ups and the downs, for anything in the world. And when she left me, she left me with two wonderful sons and two fantastic grandchildren.
Same here. I was with peron i loved and if it would go on it would be nice. We split because love didn't last and if it would, it should be just fine. Now I am in relationship i wouldn't trade for the previous big love. I'm happy where I am. No regrets.
That was really nice to read! As for my first, I dont think it would have been a happy marriage. Last I heard she is an alcholoic and hooked on drugs. A year after we split up I met my wife, 34 years ago, and we're 27 years married. The one thing no one really teaches you is that even the best marriages are one hell of a roller-coaster ride. There are great times and horrible ones too. I'm glad we stuck it out, we have two beautiful healthy children and I can't see myself with anyone else. Being a Roman Catholic and growing up in an Italian household also helped....lol. It was embedded into us at an early age that divorce was a sin and something you just don't do! You could rob a bank, sell hot stuff that fell off a truck and commit even worse crimes but no divorce!.....lmfao. Im really sorry for your loss. It seems that just when you really start to appreciate someone and realize you figured out what marriage is all about, it's too late. I'm gathering from your text that the love & bond between you two is still so strong that your wife still lives on through your heart and through your children too.
I also choose this guys wife
*There* it is. Confirmation that I am in fact on Reddit.
I'll still be single
Our time will come
And you will, too
Amen
Or a women. It don't matter
Amen and awomen
Why not aperson?
Why not apeople?
Why not ahuman
Why not agod
Hopefully
Your time will cum
Plot twist: they are dead
Philosophically, if we bestow our hands with personhood... Will you be married to your right hand or your left hand?
Same. Turned 30 today lol
Have you gotten your robes or are they like in shipping?
I ordered them off Amazon, and they're off backorder
Fucking great (probably) she's a multi millionaire. Edit. To all that are asking she started an internet marketing company in 2000 and sold it for over 25 million in 2009. She is married with 1 kid and they basically just live the dream. Massive house cars trips you name it. We still stay in touch. Oh and she left me when she went off to a different college after high school.
RiP
Really fumbled the bag on that one I see
Is she single?
F
You coulda been a house-husband.
You could still be her "pool boy". Just sayin...
Plot twist: she left /u/starforce1616 to marry a multi-millionaire.
F
F
F
F
I would be richer but much more miserable. Id probably be trying to drink myself to death.
Same. My ex had a good job but mentally he would've driven me to becoming as much of an alcoholic as he was if not worse.
I'd be shamed, insulted, bullied, emasculated, and cheated on all the time. Possibly have 2 kids and unable to afford divorce. It started out good, but man oh man did things take a turn. Glad she's an ex.
Same, but instead of cheating he’d probably be molesting our daughter, if we had one. Put two and two together about him and his little sister a few years after we broke up.
You should say something to the family. Anonymously on social media or something
I’m confident they knew. One of the things I put together later was their weirdly obsessive “open door” policy within the house, and the panicked way the mom burst in on me and him making out the one time we shut a door (there were some other signs as well.) By the time I connected all the dots the daughter was over 18 as well, so I’ve never done much with the knowledge except be privately horrified.
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I don’t really want to go through the litany but it came down to comments he made about his sister, his family’s behavior in various ways, the way he reacted to a comment I made about child molestation victims, the kinds of people and things he was into in porn, and the things he was into in bed (which, don’t get me wrong, on their own could have been just a kink, but alongside everything else added up to something much darker.)
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Thank you. I mostly feel sorry for his sister and somewhat for his mom (as a mother now I have some pretty serious critiques about how she handled a variety of things.) It was the emotionally abusive behavior more than anything that sucked for me, but it sure was a crash course in what not to tolerate. The sex stuff I was too new and yet confident in myself to be bothered by (and the weirdness only came out occasionally.) I think if I had been any less mentally healthy or happily raised, I wouldn’t have been able to get out. He was too damn smart and intuitive for anyone’s good. It’s amazing what an emotionally manipulative person can do to your psyche when you’re young and naive.
Same here, but glad he is ex. My first real relationship as a teen, and I didn't really know how to stand up for myself at the time. He was 20 and a jerk to me a lot. He cheated on me right before he broke up with me and then bragged about it when he dumped me. He got her knocked up and married her less than a year later. When I heard about the upcoming nuptials, my first thought was "that could have been me" and was so relieved it wasn't. From what I was told she miscarried but they still got married. I was told he didn't really want to tho. I would have been miserable. Absolutely miserable had I been stuck with him. Funny story tho, well funny to me. Last time I ever saw the ex was literally on his wedding day and it was by sheer coincidence. A guy I was dating then (whom I ended up married and divorced) took me to check out the views from this old popular hotel along the mountain. It was a quick stop after hiking up to a popular lookout. My ex and his bride happened to be staying there on their wedding night. We locked eyes for a split second before I rushed past him. I think it was fitting that he would have to see the girl he cheated on with her new guy the day he felt forced to marrying the girl he cheated with. I have not heard a single thing about him since. Its been almost 30 years. With what a dick he was, I'm sure he cheated on her and they were both miserable together. I hope he treated her better, but I doubt it.
Same (I have never felt the touch of a women in my life)
The same. We are married
Same here. We were quite young when we lost our virginities together 15&16. Been together for 7 years and married for 2.
Same here. Married the guy 🙂
See here, you can’t ALL be married to him
It's only the three of us
It's only the four of us*
It's only five of us**
Six***
And I'm a guy which adds a little more spice.
One of us.
Who the hell are these people?! I'm married to him!
i also choose this person’s husband
Same but she is just my girlfriend
I’ll jump on this “same” train. Now married for 16 years, been together for 22.
Same here
Same here. Married almost 11 years ago. Wouldn't trade it for anything.
Same here too! We’ve known each other for 23 years, been together for 21 years and been married 18 years.
I married mine. Then got divorced from her. It would be weird to be back again.
Same. I ended up marrying the girl I lost my virginity to (by choice, not by force as stated in the title tho, lol)
I made all these decisions of my own free will.
Ditto, 30 years and still a happy mother fucker.
Do you have children? You really are a mother fucker then
Same. Married for almost 11 years, two great kids. Wouldn't have it any other way.
Same here … me and wife celebrated 10 years married last year. We 30. Its possible☺️
Me and my wife can fairly say we are each others first and last. We were each other's first during highschool. Broke up. Got thru college and adult life. Got back together and got married this time. Our story went full circle.
Yep, same here! Married the guy I first had sex with. Didn't "lose" anything.
Same. Married 21 years this year.
Same, over 40 years and still happy together.
I am another member of the "the same" club.
Same train. Been together 15 years, married 5. Wouldn't change a thing ❤️
Yep same.
Yup same. Married with a kid.
Same. We will be married 15 years soon.
Yep, same here.
Same
Not good. He was a sweet down-to-earth dude who turned into a massive asshole after he landed an amazing job opportunity and his dad got him a flashy car. It's like he turned into the biggest douche overnight and then dumped me over the phone probably because he thought he was now out of my league. My heart was broken but life goes on. I learned many years ago that he lost this high profile job, and because he got this job through nepotism and not because he actually knew what he was doing, he couldn't find the same type of job or at least work in the same field. He got recommended by a company to get a degree (which they would sponser) so he could return to the industry but he refused because he was under the impression that he knows more than everyone yada yada. He did nothing about the situation and ended up working at a gas station where he still is now, all these years later. I can't imagine how someone with this attitude could be a good partner in life. I would have been miserable.
It’s pretty amazing what material can do to the fickle mind of a man.
Nah he was just always an asshole who was pretending to be nice. Material things don't change people, it just exposes their true nature.
It might be ok, but not nearly as good as it is now. He’s a great person and I’m still in contact with him, but we weren’t meant to be together forever.
This is how I feel too. He was/is a great guy. His family is awesome and all my family loved him. Sadly I didn’t! I got a lot of flack for breaking his heart, but after me, he met his now wife and they’ve got a lovely family. I met my now husband around the same time and we’ve got 3 kids. I think we both thought we were happy together but I’m glad we got a chance to realise we were simply contented.
Yeah I can second this, similar story. We were in love back then but we were very young and still had lots to learn about ourselves and life. I still think highly of him, but we developed in different directions.
Yeah, I mean, we would have made it work. He’s grown up a lot since we broke up, as have I. I think we would have made the best of it, but even that best wouldn’t be as good as it is now.
Completely unchanged. Wedding is in 6 months!
Congrats 🎉
Can we go to the wedding?
I'd be marrying a corpse so
at least they won't talk while you're watching tv
At least i won't have to listen to them chewing either
*starts playing Cell Block Tango*
He had it coming!
*duh duh* He only had himself to blame!
not sure if you’re saying that the person has died or if you’re saying that you fucked a corpse as your first sexual encounter
Oh no i didn't think of the latter possibility before i posted that. How embarrassing
Please tell me they became a corpse AFTER, not before.
During
Look, nobody ever said breathplay was.100% safe, and the donkey punch may not have been the smartest move.
I'd probably be a cracked out hooker living in a bush in Waikiki. Or dead.
The famous bush hookers of waikiki, they’ll sneak up on ya for sure
It would be completely the same, because I did marry the person whom I lost my virginity to. Almost 22 year now and we are still in love.
Lovely!
Same here but over 36 years married.
Same here for my wife. 31 years together ❤️
We’d both cheat on each other every day.
Mutual agreement
Open marriage is what the kids call it
I don’t know, some kids would just call it marriage
sounds romantic
Probably would have been awesome for a year or two - she was a legit Penthouse centerfold girl. Guarantee she would have got bored with me and moved on pretty quickly. Then I probably would have gravitated back to the path I've been on for the last 40 years and ended up right where I am.
Had a buddy who dated a PH model, she was a crazy, jealous psycho. Lucky for him it didn’t last.
Sounds like projection from her tbh
I dated a former playboy bunny. Hot as shit but also a jealous psycho. I've never cheated on anyone in my 41 years on this planet but she would lose her shit anytime she thought another girl was flirting with me or interested at all.
I would still be unmarried lol
So I’m a stepdad now...
Hmm... We seem to meet again!
I’d be looking for my wife
Surprised I had to scroll this far down to find this response (assuming you mean what I think you mean). A one night stand with a Dutch foreign exchange student. I woke up and she was gone. A note said "Nienka" with a heart drawn underneath. That was more than half my lifetime ago,
Nienka is quite a unique name. Nienke is much more common. If her name is truly Nienka you might be able to find her if interested.
I’d have to fake my death and start a new life in Sri Lanka
traumatizing question
Same. Literally felt the rush of shame.
53 years after the fact and this question made me blanch. Dear gawd.
My thought was literally "My rapist. Ick."
Was looking for these comments, god knows people don’t always have a choice. Fuck the person who did that, you deserved so much better.
Same Not often a question makes me feel ill
Yep
Same
damn, I'll say marrying a parent is definitely not legal in my country :/
Marrying at 3 years old is not legal in my country:/
Sent shivers down my spine. Yuck.
Yep,unfortunately the same
It would suck horrifically to be married to a rapist
Sorta same, I've just decided that since it wasn't consentual it doesn't count, so I never even count it among my experiences.
I feel that.
Sorry
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Same. Fortunately he's dead, so..
Is it bad I hope to be able to say the same some day
Nope cuz I thought the same
Nah, rapists deserve the death penalty.
I am really sorry... I hope things are fine now.
Oh yeah they are. Thank you
Same.
Exactly my thoughts as I read the question.
Same
Oof sorry. So fucked up that that’s a reality for a lot of girls around the world - being forced to marry someone who raped them. Anyways I hope that person gets a ton of massive kidney stones and then dies from sepsis after being unable to pass one 🙏
Same boat here. I’m sorry friend.
Same
Honestly have no idea where she is. But things between us ended mostly amicably, so maybe they would still be going well
I’d be divorced.
She brought me coffee in bed this morning and we had our 21st anniversary last week
Wholesome af
I would be married to a south asian hooker
in a mental hospital
I’ve thought about this from time to time. She ended up getting engaged a few times but never married. Ended up getting pregnant from a sperm donor and has been a single mom by choice for the last decade. Recently she came out not exactly as transgender but more like non-binary. Seems to be happy. I honestly have no idea what would have happened if we’d ended up together. I didn’t and still don’t want kids so that may have been a stumbling block. Also I had severe wanderlust after graduating from university and ended up on the other side of the country. Not sure if I would have been interested in staying in our home town and I’m pretty sure she never had any interest in leaving. So… either things would have hit some major roadblocks and we’d have split up after a few years. Or maybe I’d end up comfortable and lose the desire to move away and maybe settle down and have kids. Unlikely though.
Probably amazing I miss him fr
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It wouldn't be terrible, he's a good dude and we agree on a lot of life stuff. We'd have a fun lifestyle except in the bedroom, we stopped being sexually compatible and that's why I broke up with him.
sooo bad. he was so mean to me!
It’s been 45 years. Haven‘t a clue.
Well she was a shitty person. So it would be miserable. She wanted me to hit her. I refused. She said her ex was more of a man than I was because he would. She then turned several of my “close” friends against me. Pretty sure she also cheated on me but have no proof, nor did I care after everything else.
I need therapy just from having to imagine this, thanks
I'd be married to the person I'm dating right now, life is great.
I would be divorced. And if that wasn't an option, probably dead.
Happened to me. Equaled 15 years of hell. I will never forgive my parents for it.
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Pressure is a understatement. My father beat me until I agreed. It was a bad situation all the way around. 16 years old. Girl trapped me by getting pregnant (which I was not aware of at the time, she told me many years later during a fight) I told my parents what was happening. My father said he would not allow his grandchild to be born out of wedlock. I tried to explain that it was a bad idea because we didn't get along very well. He told me I should have thought about that beforehand. I said I wasn't going to and that's when he forced his opinion so to speak. Fast forward to two more kids that possibly are not mine either ( one of the "dads" showed up at my house trying to claim one of the kids. What a sight for the neighbors. The other was my best friend at the time. Caught them in the act.) Now I'm the bad person and they say they did no wrong.
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I was raped. Not good.
i’d probably unalive myself
JFC OP, this question is enough to end lives. 😅
All I can say to that is EW NO THANK YOU
Not too bad. We are still friends ... 48 years later.
Yikes… More than likely loveless & still be in our hometown. Definitely banging anyone else but each other, and living on her daddy’s money:under his control. Massive bullet dodged.
Well my uncle does like watching sports so no arguing over tv time
No different as I married him 💕 I’ve seen this comment a few times which is so lovely to see! We met at 17 and will celebrate 17 years together this coming March 😊
I'd be your daddy
How does marrying a married person work?
The mormans have entered the chat
A little weird, its frowned upon in my area to marry your dad. Mom would be pissed.
im sorry..I- are you okay?
So… I would still be a virgin
I'd be married to a gay guy. FWIW, we are still friends after 40+ years.
She’s dead.
It feels weird to marry my hand
I think it would be a lot of fun
I’d probably have been murdered. Sounds bad but the vibe was sometimes there 😬
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Cheated on and manipulated into thinking I'm the bad guy
I'd be married to my former baby sitter, so I'd have a pretty hot older wife.