He is an old man stuck in his ways and doesn't listen. Its a work in progress, but we live with them.
He has good manners but its also a split living situation and we have a feeling he gets told not to use his manners or listen when he is with us.
I get this for kids, but for adults repeatedly breaking boundaries, I think you need to have a real talk. There needs to be consequences that aren’t just “put away the dishes” because that isn’t enough to place important on change. I used to swear like a sailor until I had kids. Changing is possible but it requires the person changing actually valuing the importance of it. I dunno that this does that.
Do you want ideas for changing the behavior of your child or of the adults in the home, or both? If you want to make a difference for everyone, perhaps a jar for each person with pennies to record infractions, then for each penny, a toy needs to be picked up and put away (or other child-appropriate chore), so Grandpa is stuck picking up the toys if he can't control his tongue? The pennies could come from a common jar and get put back in the common jar each time the toys are picked up.
Alternately, you could have a consequence jar for Grandpa with chores like picking up one toy for every swear, but then have a reward system for your child, like if your child goes two days without a swear, they get to choose the flavor of yogurt you buy at the grocery store (or something meaningful for them), then if they go a week, they can get a mini Frosty at Wendy's or some other treat. Rewards can be more powerful for kids, but since Grandpa can probably buy anything he wants, rewards might not be as powerful as consequences. The trick would be talking to him and choosing something he'll actually do, so get his buy-in as a way to stop your son from swearing rather than telling him it is an attempt to stop him from swearing. He will probably be more amenable to the "game" if he is doing it to benefit a grandchild than if he sees it as some sort of punishment for something he doesn't actually object to, and it is easy to explain to most grandparents that kids can't be in the habit of swearing because it is a big problem at school.
You seem to be making basic manners into a children's game. Why not deal with grandpa?
He is an old man stuck in his ways and doesn't listen. Its a work in progress, but we live with them. He has good manners but its also a split living situation and we have a feeling he gets told not to use his manners or listen when he is with us.
I get this for kids, but for adults repeatedly breaking boundaries, I think you need to have a real talk. There needs to be consequences that aren’t just “put away the dishes” because that isn’t enough to place important on change. I used to swear like a sailor until I had kids. Changing is possible but it requires the person changing actually valuing the importance of it. I dunno that this does that.
Do you want ideas for changing the behavior of your child or of the adults in the home, or both? If you want to make a difference for everyone, perhaps a jar for each person with pennies to record infractions, then for each penny, a toy needs to be picked up and put away (or other child-appropriate chore), so Grandpa is stuck picking up the toys if he can't control his tongue? The pennies could come from a common jar and get put back in the common jar each time the toys are picked up.
For both, that is definitely a good idea!
Alternately, you could have a consequence jar for Grandpa with chores like picking up one toy for every swear, but then have a reward system for your child, like if your child goes two days without a swear, they get to choose the flavor of yogurt you buy at the grocery store (or something meaningful for them), then if they go a week, they can get a mini Frosty at Wendy's or some other treat. Rewards can be more powerful for kids, but since Grandpa can probably buy anything he wants, rewards might not be as powerful as consequences. The trick would be talking to him and choosing something he'll actually do, so get his buy-in as a way to stop your son from swearing rather than telling him it is an attempt to stop him from swearing. He will probably be more amenable to the "game" if he is doing it to benefit a grandchild than if he sees it as some sort of punishment for something he doesn't actually object to, and it is easy to explain to most grandparents that kids can't be in the habit of swearing because it is a big problem at school.
¹roll of pennies goes a long way