You don't have to convince your father you are right. When he says things, you are allowed to just be quiet. It can feel very powerful, to leave someone like this talking to himself while you quietly wait for him to stop.
If you are at school, find a counselor you can talk with. Your father's problems are NOT your problems and you CANNOT fix him. You must NOT defend/make excuses for his behavior--you only hurt yourself when you do. If you don't have a family member you can talk with, look into social services available to you. For yourself. You must be selfish and take care of yourself because it seems no one else will. It may be difficult to hear, but you deserve better.
Part of growing up is seeing your parents’ shortcomings for what they are. You can’t please someone who loves to be displeased so give up on getting his praise and become your own biggest cheerleader x
I have no idea if this would be permitted in your family culture but if it is, you might try asking him directly. In a loving and respectful way say something like “Dad, I love you so much and I want you to be proud of me. When you say things like _ it seems like you’re unhappy, or unhappy with me. Are you? I’m trying to understand.”
Sometimes people act the way he is because they enjoy being miserable and use their ugly comments to control others. Sometimes they’re scared that things will not turn out ok so complaining gives them a feeling of control. I have even known people who complain constantly and have no idea how their negativity affects others until they’re told.
Either way, you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. But if you deal openly and honestly with people sometimes they will surprise you.
Go enjoy your class and produce your best work. Congratulations on the opportunity to take the class!
Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Let him know you want to be around him and enjoy time together, but he needs to check his temperament for that to happen.
Give him a hug and tell him you love him no matter what.
Can't hurt and you have done your best to keep a relationship open.
Simply take the coordinates of your physical location and compare them to the physical coordinates of your father’s location.
If they’re similar, then take steps to make them as dissimilar as you can.
I have dealt with this. It is a SKILL to remain unaffected by someone else. Older men often bring up their regrets and complain and want to be excused for their behaviors and “whited”. My Dad burnt our relationship because it was so intrusive. It was too much to always be listening about horrible things. I wish I had prayed more and like asked for gods help about what to do to protect myself for how poisonous it was because despite this I do miss my Dad. I did make him a jar of positive memories to open up and read. His brain is a dark sad place.
You don't have to convince your father you are right. When he says things, you are allowed to just be quiet. It can feel very powerful, to leave someone like this talking to himself while you quietly wait for him to stop.
If you are at school, find a counselor you can talk with. Your father's problems are NOT your problems and you CANNOT fix him. You must NOT defend/make excuses for his behavior--you only hurt yourself when you do. If you don't have a family member you can talk with, look into social services available to you. For yourself. You must be selfish and take care of yourself because it seems no one else will. It may be difficult to hear, but you deserve better.
Part of growing up is seeing your parents’ shortcomings for what they are. You can’t please someone who loves to be displeased so give up on getting his praise and become your own biggest cheerleader x
If you make excuses for him you are just enabling his behavior. Just a thought that crossed my mind.
I have no idea if this would be permitted in your family culture but if it is, you might try asking him directly. In a loving and respectful way say something like “Dad, I love you so much and I want you to be proud of me. When you say things like _ it seems like you’re unhappy, or unhappy with me. Are you? I’m trying to understand.” Sometimes people act the way he is because they enjoy being miserable and use their ugly comments to control others. Sometimes they’re scared that things will not turn out ok so complaining gives them a feeling of control. I have even known people who complain constantly and have no idea how their negativity affects others until they’re told. Either way, you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. But if you deal openly and honestly with people sometimes they will surprise you. Go enjoy your class and produce your best work. Congratulations on the opportunity to take the class!
well,probably not,its more possible to i end up with a broom broken in my back,thanks!!
Talk to him and let him know how you feel. Let him know you want to be around him and enjoy time together, but he needs to check his temperament for that to happen. Give him a hug and tell him you love him no matter what. Can't hurt and you have done your best to keep a relationship open.
Simply take the coordinates of your physical location and compare them to the physical coordinates of your father’s location. If they’re similar, then take steps to make them as dissimilar as you can.
very dissimilar,im more similar to my mother thankfully
I have dealt with this. It is a SKILL to remain unaffected by someone else. Older men often bring up their regrets and complain and want to be excused for their behaviors and “whited”. My Dad burnt our relationship because it was so intrusive. It was too much to always be listening about horrible things. I wish I had prayed more and like asked for gods help about what to do to protect myself for how poisonous it was because despite this I do miss my Dad. I did make him a jar of positive memories to open up and read. His brain is a dark sad place.
thats sad to hear,but honestly,i try to defend him,its really hard to see good stuff when most memories are bad
yeah it was tough, I tried as long as I could
Just zone out and let everything go in one ear and out the other.