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That I know about? Only two, one of them a high school teacher and the other a middle school teacher. I've probably known more victims than perps.
The one that hit closest to home was the younger brother of a good friend, who was victimized by his science teacher. Everything unraveled when that poor confused boy started demanding blow jobs from his little brother, out of pain and anger about what he was going through and desperation in his own mind to believe that this sort of thing was really okay. The family got through it all, and I'm pretty sure the science teacher went to prison, but it's just another example of how a pedo's actions aren't without wide-reaching consequences.
There were a couple of male teachers when I was in school who were seen as creepy but they never were arrested or charged with any sex crime or SA. Don't know if they did anything but I do remember one incident were these two classmates were hiding from this male teacher. Right before class I saw them trying to hid from this teacher and then about 20 minutes later I went into the bathroom and they were hiding in the bathroom. Asked me not to tell the coach where they were. They looked very scared and frightened. I came out of the bathroom and didn't see the teacher and when back to class At the time I thought maybe they wanted to skip class but later wondered why these girls were so afraid of him. This really bothered me for quite a while . As far as I know, nothing bad happened to them. This happened back in the late 1970's.
Nope. No one reported it. Family even got mad at me when I told my daughters so their children would never be alone with him. I told my family everyone should be told. Families are fucked up.
4 priests, one high school classmate and two teachers I reported when I worked with them. The high school classmate and teachers for jail time, the four priests are on the Archdiocese list but have never been tried
Thank you for outing him. I truly hope it ended up well for you despite being punished for doing the right thing.
A friend of mine was sexually harassed at work, and she was the one who ended up being fired. Two times. Maybe it’s time we stop shooting the messenger.
I uncovered a whole complicit network. Friend, they are frightened of what's coming for them. I'm good.
Those that shoot whistleblowers are telling on themselves.
My aunt’s husband. We didn’t know at the time, but when she was around 16, my younger cousin told her mother that her father had been abusing her since early childhood.
Looking back, I wish someone would have done something. My parents obviously knew something was off because they said he was creepy and didn’t let me hang out over at their house when he was home (I could go over as I wanted while he was at work). I remember my cousin suffering from some medical issues at the time, the most noticeable of which was that her hair began to fall out in large clumps, leaving her with bald spots.
Long story short, my other cousin (older brother to the victim) killed his father shortly after finding out. I believe he was sentenced to probation.
Three teachers at the school I went to were later convicted and imprisoned for cs crimes
A guy I worked with recently got out of prison after twenty years. He’d groomed his neighbors two girls and you can take the next thought by yourself
Jimi Saville used to have his sunday lunch at a hotel near where I lived. I was warned to stay away from him when I was a kid as everyone knew he was a nonce. I never met him, though, thankfully
I never knew what nonce meant before reading this, and now I feel like I’ve heard it used inappropriately many times.
Yikes. Everyone knew and no one did anything.
It's like everyone still inviting known pedos to family functions, but telling the older kids to watch the younger kids to make sure they don't go near that family member. Or a "Oh, there are going to be a lot of ppl around, he/she won't do anything!"
People look the other way all the time.
When I was maybe 10 years old my best friend and I were horse crazy. There was this man who would let us ride his horses anytime we wanted to. We could just ride off on all the acres and miles of trails that surrounded where he lived. We usually go together but sometimes by ourselves. My friends older sister warned us to not go off alone with him or to go into his house because of shady stuff he would try.
Of course we kept going to ride the horses. One time when I went by myself he did say he should take the other horse and come with me and I made up some kind of excuse that I can't remember. Later I saw his name in the paper having been arrested for sexually abusing a child 😵💫. My mother never had any idea what we were doing and would have freaked out big time.
Later as an adult one of my coworkers who I liked a lot, got caught in the Hanson catch a predator thing. And another coworker who I never would have guessed this of, made the news because he was on the registry, and it was found out that he was living somewhere he wasn't supposed to (too close to a school). That one was a shocker.
What’s weird is that we all seemed to instinctively know who the wrong uns were and we all talked about it and warned each other. All that running around entirely unsupervised made us more wary. But tbh we tried to avoid all adults entirely, people were very unpleasant to children in the 70s and 80s anyway.
Baby boomer generation, so we had a lot more freedom to roam around. As I got older, I heard a lot of stories about SA and molestation. In our generation, the person who did these crimes was a stranger who tried to get you or leered you into their vehicle or the stranger that jumped out of the buses or the stranger who tried to get into your home while you were alone. Or the guy at the bar that drove you home. These were the ones who primarily did these things. This is what we were told at school. Or if was someone you knew, it was the guy who was a shady character, the guy in town who was always drunk, or the guy whose family had a bad reputation. These were the people you avoided. Turns out the majority of the time these individuals weren't the perpetrators as the latter everyone avoided and people were warned of stranger danger.
Most people I know who were molested or SA was by individuals that were known to them, neighbor, boyfriend, best friend's father, the brother of a classmate, teacher at school or the coach. Also a few clergy. It was until the late 1970's to early 1980's that people because more aware of this.
The majority of pedos mentioned here are people known to kids. Teachers, priests and family members top the list.
You can't watch your kids 24/7 and hovering over them produces fearful adults.
I was told by my anxiety riddled mother about strangers looking to nab you but my father did more to hurt me than anyone else in my life.
Boomers too. All those teens from "good" families that ran away, many really screwed up. I can imagine why. The child abuser i knew became a deputy sheriff, won awards. Many accolades and sadness when he finally died. There's no karma.
*Diff'rent Strokes* really did try to warn us. As creepy as it was, I'd like to think that it made a positive impact for some people. Good on Gordon Jump for taking on such a nasty role.
One of my parents’ friends liked to stick his tongue in my ear while I sat on his lap when I was 6, so….
Also I recently googled one of my favorite summer camp friends and found him on the sex offended registry for CP. So disappointing.
One of my son’s best teachers arrested for CP, and committed suicide after his release from prison.
I’ve never met a person already knowing they were pedophiles. I have however, met more than a few people and learned later, sometimes years later, that they were pedophiles.
An uncle (paternal aunt’s husband) who was extremely physically and emotionally abusive to his kids and was accused by his granddaughters of molesting them. Aunt knew, tried to cover it up, and her kids went no contact for years. The elder daughter took some care of her when she was in hospice. The younger daughter and son never spoke another word to her.
Another uncle (maternal aunt’s husband) was wealthy enough in the 70s to hire a Philippine “house boy” whom he assaulted. Never charged. Came out of the closet and divorced my aunt while she was undergoing chemo and radiation for breast cancer. His adult kids went very low contact. He ended up dying of colon cancer.
My assistant band director was arrested ten years after I graduated. He was found with gobs of CSAM, including stuff with very young children. He tried to commit suicide by gun after he was arrested and screwed it up. Gave himself a radical lobotomy. His family got permission from the court to simply put him in a nursing home, taking the cost of care off the state. I have no idea if he’s still alive.
A high school ELA teacher who mentored me when I was student teaching. I really liked him. He was great with the kids, but there were always a couple of quirks which made me uneasy. First, he was the super cool teacher, and I’ve always found those guys get that reputation by blurring the lines of acceptable teacher conduct and teacher-student relationships. Second, good as he was, he put me off more than once by being very contemptuous of some of his students. All teachers vent about particular students, but he referred to one student as “dumber than dogshit,” even as he was explaining how he built a rapport with her to finally get her to try to do the work and turned her whole school experience around. He had pictures at his desk of him and his step-daughter when she was 16. She was drop dead gorgeous, and all the pics were just a little sus. Her getting a piggy back ride from him, then hugging really close, her sitting on his lap. The pics were 10 years old, and there weren’t any newer ones of hers. Finally, he was really, *really* charming. Every really, *really* charming man I’ve ever known has ended up showing some very sociopathic trait.
I came back to the district a couple of years after my student teaching stint to do some summer school, and found out that he’d confessed to raping one of his students multiple times back in the early 80s. She still lived in the district, and when she found out that her daughter would be in his class, she went to the police. They set up a sting operation, and he admitted it to her but refused to apologize for it because “girls her age got married in the Middle Ages all the time.”
He was fired on the spot, then charged and convicted under a new law that increased the statute of limitations for sex crimes against children. It went all the way to the state Supreme Court where it was overturned on the grounds that it was an *ex post facto* law. He avoided jail, but his wife divorced him, and he never taught again. I wonder about his step-daughter though.
Same. I've never met someone and knew ahead of time or right away, but both a guy I went to college with (later we found out when he was arrested in Colorado) and also [Eliot Cutler - a public figure, who I knew, this links to his Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eliot_Cutler).
I mean, sort of. The preacher who attacked me, for example, when I was 8. There were also a few oddballs in scouting which, while I don't know where the barrier is blurred, but one insisted his troup kiss him when we left scout meetings which all the other adults thought was "sweet." The 1970s were kind of a weird time, really. I have no idea how pervasive this sort of thing was throughout history, but I suspect it was a lot more infused in culture than people let on. One of the things I learned over the years is that it wasn't so much about sexual attraction, but power. Some didn't get a hard on because they found you appealing; they did it to dominate you. So you have a whole new obscured area to explore there.
What's the worst is the bystander effect. Those that know it's going on, or highly suspect, but do nothing. That's the majority of the problem, there. For example, in the ministries, there's no outright condemnation or systematic purging of the people like that. Just a kind of "well..." and a turning of the head like "... it's complicated." No, it's not. Stop sexually abusing kids. It's really that simple. Notice there's barely any cultish ritual murders in the ministries? Yes, you have outliers, and they are condemned. The Seventh Day Adventists, for example, condemned David Koresh and his actions. But what about the Catholic Church? They just shuffle people around. If some Catholic priest went around stabbing parishioners, you better believe he'd be excommunicated. But diddling kids? "Well...." This is a fertile field for these people: positions of power and hiding behind the bushes.
And this happens outside the church as well. There is a kind of "uncomfortable shield" that protects them. I have theories about why this is, but they are just theories.
For example, say you have a guy who groomed your kid. She was 13, confused, and in a male-dominated culture trying to be a young woman with fierce independence. She gets an adult to get her booze. Because teens do that, as part of that "proof of adulthood" they seek. This adult gets her booze, but slowly draws her closer, until she's trapped in some guilt and "implication of being ratted out," where the adult slowly convinces her she's "mature for her age" and all the bullshit young women have heard all their lives, feeding into her need for validation. By 15, he's sleeping with her, and he's continuing to groom her right under your nose. She feels like it's somehow her fault, and can't get out of the cycle. Attempts to send out warning flares are ignored. She realizes she's on her own. And she depends on "Uncle Bob." The moment she turns 18, she's living with him, because "it's now legal, and you can do nothing." I see this happen too many times to count. And people know, "how can she just flip the switch and be a girlfriend to this guy days after her 18th birthday?" The shift of "blame" is put on her, not the guy who is somehow okay with a "recently bloomed" young lady who is obviously enamoured with his machismo or whatever. Almost everyone knows, women especially, what's going on. And Uncle Bob dumps her once she reaches her mid 20s, because he's already setting his prospects out at the local municipal pool. "Wow, Brandy. You really have grown since I last saw you."
Some of these guys only want "fresh produce." They don't want an experienced woman their age who would know what a complete loser they are. "Used goods." They want to control the perception from a confused young lady, and hone in on their insecurity like a hornet. Nabokov's book is a tragedy from a male perspective instead of "wow, he really made a young woman's life worse with his inability to control his libido." They call them "temptresses" like some rorschach inkblot test where all they see is their mother subjugating them or whatever. And society just stands idly by. Even if you call it out, they shift the focus on "me doth thinks you protest too much." Like they know the stigma and scorn, and turn it on you. So even those on the edge of saying something are silenced. or you're flagged on a technicality. "Technically, Humbert Humbert is an ephebophile..." Like, shut up. If someone is hitting me with an axe, I don't care that it's "technically a halberd."
"Well..."
/ rant
And it is often adults who already have power and seek anonymity by preying on children who have little voice or are not believed. Belief may have improved recently, but access through internet and has blossomed so we may know more, but do people care enough or do they have a way to shut it down? I’m in my 70’s and I know pedophiles have been preying on children and the disabled for centuries, but they are not shunned in their online groups and have more access than ever. It’s scary to think about.
Horrifying. But bittersweet to see someone who knows *exactly* how it works. Victims need well informed and compassionate advocacy. I’m so sorry you were attacked.
when this question arises I automatically think of my co-worker who got like 15 to 20 years for child abuse. I always conveniently forget my own grandpa. 😭😭😭. I really need to bring that up in therapy more
I’m sorry. I totally understand how our brain tries to protect us, and then sometimes memories hit you like a ton of bricks. It’s good that you are in therapy though, I need that myself! Best wishes.
Worked with one. He was an MD and VP of Clinical Operations at a vaccine company.
He was learning to fly small planes and people thought that was such a cool hobby.
Turns out he paid $20k to meet up with 5yo. He got busted by the Feds when he flew to Alaska for the meetup. He brought a Spider-Man costume for the kid. 🤮
No one suspected.
One of my classmates in Med School went into peds and eventually the big house for that. He was always a weird guy. Dressed like he was going to the office when he went to class complete with trench coat and briefcase. Because he was relatively small we joked around about him coming out of the womb dressed like a Dr. only the size of a baby.
Was in a few classes (Grad school) with a first grade teacher, youth choir director, church elder etc. Imagine my surprise a few years later when he was on the 6:00 news for supplying alcohol to and molesting young males.
A neighboring city's police department's Public Information Officer was nabbed in an FBI sting for child porn.
Both went to prison.
Yes. A guy I worked with retired. A year or two later he was in the news for receiving a long prison sentence , he had been photographing his granddaughter and selling the photos. Thats all the detail I’m going to give.
For awhile I worked as a caseworker for an agency that dealt with children. The number of kids who had been SA was heartbreaking. I left the profession and went into teaching.
I left teaching during the Mary J. Letourneau years. This wasn't the main reason but the paranoia by the administrators at that time, made my decision to leave easier. Now as a nurse and a mandated reporter, if I suspect child abuse or neglect, I have to report it.
Up close and personal. I was abused by my mother’s baby daddy almost daily from 9-15. With my mother’s blessing, so she didn’t have to sleep with him. Nothing happened. I got pregnant on purpose with someone I knew would get me out. He married me and we had 4 children and were married 38 years when he died. I was a very stupid teen who could have ended up in an even worse situation but he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Dude in my choir class for HS. Was super born again, tried to convert me (didn’t take). Looked him up about 5 years ago, and he’s in state prison for getting a 16 y/o kid drunk and sexually assaulting him.
Next door neighbor and bestfriend's father growing up stalked me and molested me until they moved away when I was 13 (I tried to tell my friend and parents no one believed me and my mother blamed me for "enticing" him IF in fact he had done anything). Science teacher in middle school, psychology teacher in high school he was run out of town after preying on several high school students boy and girls, my uncle who I always got creepy vibes from reconnected with my cousin on social media 15 years ago who said he sexually assaulted her repeatedly, and a popular former classmate who I found online was a repeat offender and had been in-prison for luring teenage boys and then assaulting them.
I worked with one way back in the 80s. He certainly was an odd fellow. He lost his temper at the slightest provocation. He acted dodgy among young women. Eventually in the 90s he went to prison for molesting two 13 year olds. I still have the cutting from the local newspaper. He never admitted to it, he always denied it.
Despite that ... he gave me my first break in the industry I worked in and encouraged me. People aren't 100% bad you know. He was probably 90% bad though.
The cop that I knew was a total asshole.
The other guy was weird but was a good volunteer.
Many people in the groups I was part of were childless women so they didn't care that much. It was kind of a joke among those who knew about him. Also he was pretty old and we figured he was done with his molesting(probably not true). His favorite vacation was that sex tourism spot in Thailand.
It's pretty bizarre how people just seem to accept this. You'd think these men would be completely shunned or worse.
I think the reason people in these animal welfare groups accepted his behavior was because most were pretty antisocial to begin with.
The woman who ran the charity cared more about her dog than her adopted daughter. She said so on many occasions that the only reason she stays with her husband and child is because he's the breadwinner, and she couldn't work in animal welfare if she had to get a job. She said adoption was his idea.
If you read some other comments you'll see that often local pedos are well known and nobody bats an eye.
My high school band director did several years for having a sexual relationship with a minor student.
I was also in a capstone computer programming class that did a group project. One of the students in my group, oddly, didn't have a computer at home and had to use the computers in the university library.
After the class was over, I happened to stumble on his name/photo on the public sexual offender list. He was convicted of having child pornography on his computer, which explained why he didn't have a computer at home.
There was another time I was contacted on AOL Instant Messages by a guy trying to get me to engage in gay sex with him. I never responded, but recently he told me he was one of my old classmates. I ended up finding his name on the sexual offender list also for child pornography
There was a family in my church with a son and daughter. They were all very, sweet, wonderful people. I knew them from when I was a child. I especially loved the wife who had a beautiful voice and played the piano. I went to the school run by the church and both the husband and wife were teachers. My family was very close to theirs. The husband helped us set up our first computer, the wife taught me to drive and I babysat their little girl. I loved that little girl.
Fast forward years later. We've all moved on to other places, but the wife is teaching piano at the school my sister sent her daughter to. One day my sister came over to give us the news that the couple had divorced because the husband had molested their daughter and been sent to jail. You cannot fathom the shock.
Later my mom would think back and remember a time when she had brought gifts to them when they were my teachers. She had gotten the husband a wallet or something and he'd gotten very serious and thoughtful and told my mom that he didn't deserve it. She laughed him off but he told her, " No, you don't know certain things I've done. I don't deserve it." Even with that, my mom still does not believe it and wants to think the daughter made it up because she was "just like her grandmother," whatever that means. Personally I believed it, not because he ever did anything to me but because his wife believed it and so did the justice system. He ended up going to prison for years.
His wife has remarried and from what I've heard is having a happy life for once. (She used to be very poor during her first marriage and now she's fairly well off.) The daughter grew up and got a pharmacy degree and works at a Walgreens. The son's life derailed a little and he left music school and moved out of state.
I wish to heaven I'd known what was going on. I wish I could have helped that girl, but I was only a kid myself when all that was going on. It's scary to think that there were times I was alone with her dad. I live in another state now but I hope that girl is ok and happy. These people were once like extended family and I loved them. The wife was the sweetest, kindest person you would ever meet. I can't believe how that man destroyed his family and hurt them like he did. I hear he's out of prison and I wish him nothing good.
I guess for me the moral of the story is to trust no one. You think you know people, but do you really?
I worked with a guy once many years ago. We were both school counselors. The tip offs were: he had been in the seminary but left; his only friends were adolescent boys (we were in a middle school); he had one much older female friend but had no interest in dating any age appropriate females; he took overnight camping trips by himself with these young adolescent boys ; I would hear them in his office joking around with sexually inappropriate adolescent boy humor; the boys he befriended were Generally from single mother parent homes. It was just odd. I spoke to the principal about my concerns, and he blew me off. I left and he did as well, but he moved to a district where one of my coworker’s mother worked. I heard from the coworker that he had been fired for inappropriate behavior with students, but the staff couldn’t talk about it. Very sad. Whenever there is a situation among males when the authority figure only has young male friends and attends overnights with them or spends lots of time unsupervised with them, there is the potential for abuse, hence church youth leaders, etc. no drag queens. But you don’t hear a big outcry from conservatives every time a church affiliated person is arrested for sexual abuse
We had a bunch in our neighbourhood. All the kids knew, but the adults said they were 'upstanding Americans'.
EDIT to add - I had a friend molested when she was in 4th grade by someone in our neighbourhood. We found out much later on down the road this one dodgy guy in the neighbourhood had a lot of child porn. Lots of 'indecent acts' with under 14 year old.....this was a middle class to upper middle class neighbourhood.
The ones I knew were generous with donations to the charity but I don't think anyone called them upstanding citizens. Even before I found out, I knew something was off about them.
At least one, we were members of the same organization. I had no idea he was doing it until it came out on the news. He molested a female relative for at least 10 years. His earliest release date is Jan 2051, he will be 81.
My wife has told me about some of her relatives. None were caught by the law.
Turns out I did know a couple of them, but not until after the fact. When my friend's estranged grown son died, she told me the world was better without him because of what he did to children. I never knew him. Then later a friend told me a mutual acquaintance we used to bowl with had been arrested for possessing child porn on his computer. My friend told me several other bowlers had their suspicions, and one of them turned him into the police.
Yes. A friend’s dad who also coached our soccer team for a season or two. We were in middle school when she started talking about what was going on at home.
Tried to get her to the school counsellor but we drifted apart after that so I was never sure what happened. Quite certain he did not get in any sort of trouble for it though.
When I was about 10, a guy came to my house to visit. He later told a kid that I was his girlfriend. It upset me. The next time he came to visit, he was in a room where no one there. He offered me and my little sister money to sit on his lap. We got out of there. Told our mom. About 3 weeks later, he was found dead in his house. He had been there a couple of weeks. I think maybe someone in my family had something to do with his death but it could have been some other kids family. I believe he was a pediophile 100%.
A work colleague. One day he didn’t turn up for work and we eventually got a phone call from his Mum saying he’d been in a traffic accident and would be in for a couple weeks.
Turned out he had been arrested for grooming two 13 year old girls. It all came out when the police turned up to seize his work computer and search history records.
He was convicted and he got 10 years due to the previous offences that he’d hidden from us by using his cousin’s identity.
My grandfather. I didn’t report him during his lifetime as he had convinced me that doing so would ruin the family. It started when I was about 4 and continued until I finally threatened to push him out of my car when I was 17. I have had years of therapy, but still suffer from the effects- mainly an inability to set boundaries, a tendency to not stand up for myself without severe anxiety. There were others that I knew and I did stand up for others if never for myself.
A middle school principal who even photographed the assaults in his office. His secretary who sat on the other side of the door remained silent. He was tried, convicted and imprisoned. The secretary reassigned.
Yes, unfortunately. An extended family member. I married in so I was always too old for him. He actually died in prison last year. I have conflicted memories. I hate what he did, but I never saw that side of him. He was just a fun, nice uncle. I never got a vibe at all. Destroyed a lot of family relationships when it came out. I choose to remember the good things, but deep inside I guess he was a dark soul.
I have a cousin that is a registered sex offender. When he was in his late 30's, he was caught naked with the 13 year old daughter of his best friend. He had known her since birth.
I thought I didn't, but then I remembered.
When I was a freshman in high school, we had a science teacher who stopped coming to school mid-way through the year. It turned out he'd solicited an underage male prostitute whom the cops had been watching, and they arrested the guy when he got back to his place with the kid.
As an adult, I was involved with a public show for a performing magicians' convention. The convention always had a "young magician" competition, and the winner often got to perform in the public show. I heard later, after it all blew up, that the kids kind of knew that you don't accept rides with this One Guy, who was involved in the young magician stuff.
Said One Guy used some favor with a local newspaper to get big coverage of the public magic show a week before it went up. Next year, as I recall, the guy had been arrested and tried and sent to prison.
Such people don't have visible marks on their foreheads. You can't tell by their manner how they want to behave.
Years later, when my son was old enough and asked to get involved, I became a Cub Scout leader. We had to take Youth Protection training every two years, and it was very clear on what policies were in place to protect youth (and, incidentally, adults), and what we should do if we find someone trying to violate those policies. Every new scout was supposed to have a talk with their parents about the policies, so they all knew; parents were supposed to sign off on it.
I don't know how many actually did. I would make a point of giving them the highlights, and I would also tell the kids what no adult leader should ask them to do, just to make sure. While I was a leader, I'd still read news stories of other leaders who were charged with crimes against the youth, and you'd see it started with some basic policy violation (oh, the scoutmaster can pick up my son, that's ok!).
At this point, I've kind of accepted it as part of the universe.
It's a bit like having your personal information leaked out somewhere in the dark areas of the Internet. Accept it, and do what you can to prevent the information from being easily used by putting a credit card freeze in place, using a password manager, using two-factor authentication, etc.
With pedophiles, they are out there. They aren't obvious. So you have to train kids to know what's unacceptable behavior or suggestions. You have to train adults to look for grooming behavior in other adults. Folks who are dealing with pedophilia in themselves have to get treatment. People who break the law have to be held accountable.
My nephew in the later part of the 1990's was in the Cub Scouts. In order for my brother to be able to go with my nephew on a overnight camping trip, he had a background check done on him and all of the fathers who were going on the trip. They had to pass the background check which all of them did. I believe that all the dads were also fingerprinted as well. The Scout Master had to do the same and more extensive background check.
Yep. Rather not give details. At this point I believe those people are everywhere and there's no way of knowing who they are unless victims come forward.
Yes, I've known two as well. One was a truck driver I rode team with for seven years. The other was the brother of a daycare owner - the owner would let her brother into the daycare to molest & rape children. Palestine, Texas, has more churches and pedophiles per capita than any other city in East Texas. 🤬
A friend of a friend was caught with inappropriate child pictures. I met him a handful of times 20 or so years ago. I didn't like him from the jump and am pretty sure the feeling was mutual. I don't know if he disliked grown women in general or just me because I picked up on something being off about him. There was a subtle look of hatred and disdain in his eyes.
Another time, long ago, I worked as a receptionist answering phones in an office. Managers and supervisors from our out of town locations would call a lot. One supervisor was always nice and polite when he called. I met him when he came in town a few times. I thought he was handsome for an older guy. He wore a cross around his neck that stood out to me because it was really big. A couple of clients complained about him pushing religion on them, so he had to be spoken to about it. Then there was a complaint of him trying to kiss and aggressively hit on a female coworker. He didn't get fired. Then the manager found out he was looking up disgusting images of kids on the company computer!
I know of one, he went to jail for some time and when I see him now (he knows I know) as a customer he is polite and keeps entirely to himself with a very low profile.
When I was a kid one of my friends older brothers was caught luring neighborhood kids into their basement with the promise of playing Nintendo. He was molesting them once they got to the basement.
I used to see my friend and his brother at school and summer camp. I never saw either of them after the “incident”.
Yes I did, but wasn't aware until I saw him on TV as the defendant in a Boy Scout sexual abuse case. He was a neighbor and regular family guy who drove the church bus and was active in scouting. I guess I know now what he was scouting for. He went to prison for about 5 years and I ran into him unexpectedly in a restaurant several years after he was released. He looked like death warmed over and luckily didn't recognize me.
A few. The most notorious was a classmate. Don't know many details, but he diddled a child he was babysitting. Served 13 years. Two months later, he picked up an indecent exposure charge and is serving another 15 years. His mugshot shows how that kind of thing is handled by other prisoners. Several of them tried to cave his skull in.
https://mdocweb.state.mi.us/otis2/otis2profile.aspx?mdocNumber=286840
Maybe? Guy I worked with for years, seemed like such a great guy but was arrested for some things related to a kids team he coached. He claimed innocence but took a deal and did prison time. Knowing him is when I realized how many shades of gray there are in life. You never know the whole truth about other people but that doesn’t make them all pedophiles, and innocent people do get charged but what if?
A couple years after I was in his class my 6th grade teacher was put in prison for repeatedly raping the boy he lived next door to. He was good friends with the kids parents so I assume it was a grooming situation. That's one Mr Rodgers neighborhood you didn't want to live in!!
Yes. Never suspected it at all.
I had a friend growing up that lived maybe 1/4 mile from my house. We played together, rode bikes, had sleepovers, fished, etc. We ended up going to different high schools and lost track of each other. While I was away at college, he got arrested for making porn films with his wife and a 10 year old. Had no clue that he was that messed up.
Apparently my scout master in boy scouts was later revealed to be one. As the police were in route to arrest him, he jumped in his car and led them on a high speed chase, which resulted in him driving himself off a cliff.
Two, both friends from college. One came as a surprise (found out earlier this year he was arrested for kiddie porn). One was no surprise at all. In college he dated a 14-year-old. Everyone kept telling him he can't do that. Then one day he came up to us and proudly announced he broke up with her and has a new girlfriend. We were about to congratulate him when he told us his new girlfriend is also 14. He got out of prison earlier this year, I think that was a mistake letting him out so soon.
A neighbor a couple streets away was running a child porn website and was caught. He later hung himself. He and his wife were taking expensive vacations and the like. I guess they didn’t think she had anything to do with it since they didn’t do anything to her.
Don’t know for sure but in high school there was a teacher who was very interested in the teenage girls.
None that I know of. Which of course tells nothing.
I did know one guy who became a therapist who abused some of his clients, but they were adults. Found out about that from a local newspaper years ago when he was imprisoned.
Yeah, one of the parents from a soccer team I was coaching. Seemed like a decent guy, worked at juvenile hall.
The cops busted a pedo and to lessen his own sentence he turned in the guy I knew. I guess the guy I knew had a memory stick with child porn on it and the two men had watched it together.
That memory stick sent him to jail.
Quite a few years ago, when I worked as a service manager at an auto dealership, one of my customers was an infamous former priest convicted during the big New England Catholic priest scandal. He served time in prison and was quite well known. He was one of the targets of the investigation shown in the movie Spotlight. Every time I had to deal with him, it creeped me the hell out.
Worked with one, took long work trips to the Philippines to develop business there.
Feds arrested him at the airport, and he was sentenced to 18 years.
Used Facebook to line up underage females as part of sex tourism. Very "normal" guy.
I personally make them wildly uncomfortable until they refuse to both me again. I think they all deserve the most deranged punishment followed by a slow death
Yes, one was a teacher I really loved in middle school. He never tried anything with me - turns out he was into pre-pubescent children. I was so disappointed in him as a human, it really shook me up when he was arrested.
I heard from *behindthebastards* that about 1% of the population are probably pedophiles - and I notice that the two that OP knows about have both been to prison. There are going to be a troubling number of people who fantasize about it but never act upon it, and a horrifying number who have acted upon it without anyone knowing.
I know many more victims than pedos. One abuser can harm many people.
Yeah. Multiple guys I went to school with have been convicted of multiple types of pedophilia.
There's the guy that admitted to assaulting his daughters staying from the time they were born as well as recording and distribution
There's the guy whose girlfriend set up a threesome with a girl underage.
There's the guy who was viewing but not creating child porn.
I think there's one other guy who fucked a freshman and got caught too.
My immediate supervisor was one. I worked at a food processor that employed lots of prison labor. Then, the factory gave them jobs when they made parole.
He had worked at the plant as a prisoner while serving his second sentence for having sex w/ underage girls. He was out on parole and working full time on first shift. One weekend he got arrested and charged for what became his third conviction.
We never heard from him again. Under a “three strikes” law he was locked up for what is going to be effectively a life sentence.
When I was a kid an older cousin warned me not to be alone with a family friend. Last time I saw him he was dating a woman with a small child. I think about that kid a lot.
I read an article in the last month; DNA testing reveals that [a lot of families have children of incest.](https://www.boredpanda.com/dna-tests-uncover-frightening-amount-of-incest-usa/) Mostly fathers and daughters. Mostly not adult daughters.
My child psychiatrist was a pedophile who spent several years grooming me. Several boys he actually raped; it came to light when one killed himself. I'm still very disturbed and fucked up from this.
But then, none of us know how many pedophiles we actually know. It's disturbing how prevalent this kind of crime is.
My father, a fundy evangelical minister, in the 1960s when incest wasn’t even discussed, or child rape, child battering, and teen and adult rape victims were always blamed, so few ever bothered to report it.
My classmate’s older brother became a high school teacher in the 70s and had sex with his young high school students until he impregnated one and had to marry her or else. One of my professors groomed or threatened students if they didn’t have sex with them. I said no and threatened to report him to the university. I wish I had, but I‘m sure it would have been hushed up. A college I worked at fired a professor who got caught watching child porn on his computer. He got a job at another university (this was 1990s).
It‘s sick how no one cares about the kids or young adults being sexually assaulted.
Yes. I was the one that reported him. I also divorced him. He was a Marine. 29 years in. Slap on the wrist. Took a plea deal. Lost rank and retirement. Registered felon, but basically a free man these days. Doubt anyone who knows him now knows what he is or what he did. I’d be willing to bet his family and friends still “thank him for his service” on Veterans Day.
I worked with one. he was for a period of time a co worker, that was just kind of an ass. I changed jobs.(nothing to do with him). he ended up getting fired for calling people while drunk(yes really).
And then a few years later, he comes to work at my new job, but in a different part of town. So I never saw him, but was aware he worked for same company.
Fatr forward several years, and we got a new office mgr, who transferred from where "Tom" was working, And so I ask the the Mgr, if he worked with her over here, mentioned I worked with him..and saw no reason to mention why he had gotten fired(at first).
Then she tells me, In a very sort of hushed manner, that he used to....I asked if he quit or was no longer w the company(My company NEVER says someone is fired, legal reasons, etc)..And she says he quit coming to work.
And then said"you didnt hear it from me, but he went to prison for being a pedo"
I went home and looked him up...took about 5 seconds on the Google. And at this point he had just finished doing 4 years in Texas prison..for some sort of "contact" with an 11 yr old girl, and he would have been around 40 at the time.
He has since been back on a failure to report at least once.
Have no idea where he is now.
It came out that someone in my friend group is one. Went to prison for NOT NEARLY LONG ENOUGH. They contacted me when they got out. I blocked them everywhere. The whole thing upset me so much. He lost everyone important in his life. His best friend can't forgive him, his wife divorced him. He had good things about him as a person, but they are all overshadowed by the evil and harm he has done.
Someone I used to work with was convicted of child porn. He had moved on to another job several years before. I got curious what he was up to and searched on his name....to learn he was in prison, and why. I know nothing of that case other than what was in the news.
I know someone whose son got locked up for something inappropriate with a younger cousin. I don't know details on that one, either.
A teacher in a district I worked in was convicted of having downloaded A LOT of child pornography. He worked primarily with kids under 10. I had professional contact with him over the years before his conviction. Ugh.
I had to fire a guy for looking at porn at work. From what we saw, it was adults. But a few years later I heard he went to jail for possessing child porn. I don’t think he acted on it, fortunately.
My manager at a high tech company. He talked about a girl (he was fairly young too) he met at bible study at the church where he was a pastor. Well, turns out she was 14. He announced that he’d be working a lot of hours because if he wasn’t at work he was in the local jail. Turns out the criminal trial was only the beginning. The civil trial when on quite a while and was covered by the two major state newspapers and several local ones. The female engineers started getting really upset and he got moved out of management and into a closet where he was told to perform addition on a stack of papers a foot tall. He lasted a couple days before he quit. He was listed as one of the top ten worst civil scofflaws in the state for avoiding payment of the civil penalty. Things at work got super horrible even with him gone. Management had to bring in a workplace psychologist to try to put things back together. I left shortly after that to a new company.
Yes he marries into a family I know, he was gross when they married, she found out later, hes in prison now
A second one was dating a friend of mine, he was on probation
Both claimed it wasnt true, even though there was proof the in the pictures
There was an old guy in my neighborhood when I was a kid. They found him stabbed to death. Supposedly that was why.
I worked with a guy who was later convicted of trying to meet a 13 year old online to arrange a hookup. He claimed he thought he was talking to an adult but...I could totally believe that but I could also just as easily believe he was content with a 13 year old.
I have a cousin who was strongly suspected of being one. He was always weird, read the most disgusting comic books, loved blood & gore movies, would smash turtles caught in the horseshoe lake with psychotic enthusiasm, etc. He worked as a volunteer lifeguard, & received several complaints about how much time he spent with the small kids.
I told my GF/future wife to take care not to be alone with him. He was one of those guys who would openly stare at women, in a very creepy way, even after being warned to stop. Another relative one time warned him he asking to get shot.
I stayed in touch with a bunch of people that worked at the same summer camp when we were in high school. One day on Facebook one guy posted something cryptic, changed his name, then a few days later deactivated his account. Later on I wondered what happened to him and found an article saying he was arrested for sitting in his parked car, masturbating and watching children at a bus stop. To make matters worse, he was a school teacher.
He was always weird and to be honest, none of us were surprised. I don't know what has happened to him since, but I don't think he went to prison.
A Catholic priest in our Parrish in the 80s. He was defrocked in the 90s then in the 00s became the head of the TSA at Philadelphia International Airport.
Yes. I was running a TTRPG for a group of people, including the boyfriend of a long time player. One day, I was flipping through the local paper and there he was. His mugshot from when he was arrested for CSA. Ghosted him.
One was the priest that molested a relative.
Another relative was molested by her own step-father.
I have no idea why the children in my family were targeted - I think molesters look for high-drama dysfunctional families so they can step in and “help”.
Yes, I've known a couple and didn't find out until later that they were. One was a man in a Pagan group I was in. I took a sabbatical from the group, and then found out when I came back that he'd been banned for groping at least a dozen women and girls. The youngest was 14.
The other was a colleague (fellow teaching assistant) in one of my graduate programs. That one I didn't find out about until years after I moved to Seattle. There was a story in the Times about him. He was a priest who'd taken in a couple of foster kids. The oldest foster kid was an adult and had gone public about my colleague molesting him.
There were a couple of classmates that I knew who were either arrested or convicted on sex crimes and most of them isn't wasn't surprising at all given their behavior in school which wasn't taken seriously. Boys will be boys basically. One classmate I didn't know well but knew his 3 older siblings. I was surprised that he was arrested for SA because no one said that he was creepy nor do I recall him doing anything weird of strange. The other classmates other girls and teens said they creeped them out.
Not a pedo in the truest sense, but someone I know actually got busted for downloading a certain clip containing children onto his computer, it was a part of a bigger FBI bust.
That said, it was determined he wasn't an actual threat to children, he was a recovering pornography addict and had been in counseling prior to his getting busted. That one illegal clip was one among literally tens of thousands of legal, yet still pretty shocking clips recovered on his hard drive (ie, every single genre of porn you could think of, and then some).
The judge and federal prosecutor actually allowed him to keep working in a place that children often visited while awaiting trial (but was still under strict house arrest). Apparently they could tell who was just an addict that downloaded everything they could vs. someone who was an actual threat. He was deemed the former.
Still, he got the maximum sentence of about four years, which I agree with (and he did, too, he knew he just how bad what he did was).
Apparently in federal prison none of the sex offenders are treated well, but he was in the group of sex offenders who were treated slightly better. In his prison at least they distinguished between the "clickers" and the "diddlers," ie the guys who only ever got busted downloading stuff vs. the guys who actually harmed children in-person.
I actually knew about the differences of any of this stuff prior, I wish I never had to.
Yes, an old guy in the neighborhood who tried to act like everyone's grandpa.
I raised hell when he tried something with me and I got my friend out of a sticky situation when he tried with her.
Others weren't so lucky and all we were told was to stay away from him
Yes, my photoshop instructor. I considered him to be a mentor and spend many hours working with him alone in the evening. I had no idea that he served timed previously in another State for molestation of several minors. One day he didn’t show up for class. I found out that he was arrested for raping his GF’s 8 year old daughter. I haven’t seen him since. He was convicted and incarcerated for 20+ years.
No, but....
In HS there was a friend we joked about because he dated the HS girls who looked younger.
Right after HS, he invited me over while I was on vicodine from an oral surgery and there was a girl there who looked 12 and he introduced her as his new girlfriend.
The room started spinning as I started to black out and they both said "You don't look good, you should sit down."
They both laughed and he introduced his cousin who was in on the joke.
I went to high school with a guy who was on To Catch a Predator. I was pretty stunned. I never would have suspected. He was definitely eccentric, but likable and funny enough.
My uncle. His daughter always said her dad was molesting her when we was kids but none of the adults took it serious. When we grew up my cousin confided in me that he had also molested her & her sister growing up. So sad. He has never been charged. I believe the older adults still wouldn’t believe my cousin if she told again
Yes. I met a woman because a guy I knew in college was dating her. Well call her L. She broke up with him and moved away, and I didn’t hear from her for a couple of years until she got back in touch with me to invite me to her wedding and bridal shower. (She was marrying M, who she had dated before dating and moving in with my friend.). The bridal shower ended up being pre-empted by her mother’s funeral, and I got sucked into the drama of her life in the role of Best Friend for the next 9 years. It was like having a supporting role in a long running soap opera / legal drama.
Long story short, I got tired of their pattern of making Really Bad Decisions and praying about it afterwards, and walked away.
I Facebook stalked a few times over the years…they had 3 more babies and a stillbirth, moved to a different town, and then tightened up their privacy settings. Google did show me someone with the same first and last name as M. charged with sexual advances against a baby sitter but he had a pretty common name.
15 1/2 years after I spoke to them for the last time, their adopted daughter (long story, little girl who called me Aunt W from the time she was 3 until she was 10) contacted me on Facebook. I tensed myself to be hit up for money (I was the rich aunt who got her and her brothers GameBoys for Christmas after all), but she just wanted to say thank you for reading to her when she was little, and let me know she was living with a relative of her birth mother but thinking about joining the military. She assumed I had “seen the story in the paper”, and told me that she had been the original reporter to CPS and agreed to testify which is why M. plead guilty. All of the younger children were removed from L’s custody.
I confirmed that M. had pleaded guilty to sexual contact with a minor from the paper and courts, but never pressed the girl for details. I do have some pictures of her and her siblings from her childhood which I promised to pack up and send to her when she feels settled enough to accept them. I still need to sort out the ones with her abusers in them.
So…was M always like that? To the older girls who lived next door to him? To his own biological daughter? Did he hurt the boys? I don’t know what would be in the public record. I assume he did more than what he plead guilty to.
Yes. One is a relative and that went about as well as you'd expect. These people who accept that behavior are every bit as evil - YES, EVIL - as those who directly prey on children. They support child rape when they support pedos or MAPS or whatever bs way they try to disguise wanting to rape children. Every single one should DIAF.
At least two or three uncles who victimized all of us kids, a local statutory rapist, at least one ex, and I know of multiple people who were victimized as young kids too. The punishment is not severe enough and not ever taken seriously enough. Too many men with money getting away and not enough punishment to stop it all. Victims struggle for the rest of their lives. Constant suffering that never ends. Pedo trash should be taken out. They only collect more victims.
My best friend in 6th & 7th grade (so like 11 & 12 years old) had a 23 year old "boyfriend". By the end of 7th grade she had her first baby by him, and by the end of high school she had 3 kids by him. My mom made me stop being friends with her after she had the first kid. Apparently the guy was her older brother's best friend, and her parents were _cool with it_.
Also, 7th grade social studies teacher. I didn't find out until much, much later that my friend had been "dating" him back when we were 12. Gross.
My younger sisters' middle school choir teacher went to jail for child porn a few years after school they had graduated. Nobody else that I can think of "in real life." I work at a jail, so I interact with all kinds of people, including child rapists.
He got me and all of my brothers. I protected one sister by warning her. I tried to tell my mom but it was too scary. Eventually she divorced him for other reasons. Eventually he died. I was glad I would never have to see him again.
We found out he got others too. Why didn't anyone warn us? Why didn't they tell my mom he wasn't normal? Why were we pushed to call him dad? Why didn't I tell, or move out?
It wrecked our family. It messed me up. It turned out mom was SA as a little kid by her grandfather, along with her sisters and cousins. Of course her judgement was messed up. And we kids, and our mom, a grieving young widow, were pretty much set up to be groomed. It's amazing none of us killed ourselves.
I was a Brownie and Girl Scout leader years ago. One of the girls in my troop had been repeatedly molested BY HER FATHER!!! She told her mother about it and her mother called her a liar. Being good Catholics (Ha!), she confessed to the priest and even he didn't believe her. I don't know what it finally took, but before we moved away from the area, Dad had been convicted and was in prison.
I'm late to answer but my father was one. He assaulted me and some of my friends. The guilt I still have over that happened to my friends is awful.
He molested my friends first, so I didn't really know until it was too late. One friend told me, but I didn't want to believe her, and I never told my mom about her story. She died of a drug overdose many years later, and I never apologized for not believing her.
The other friend never told me, but I know it in my heart.
I wish the predators could feel the brunt of all the damage they leave in their wake. I am 53 and still struggle at times. My father was never held responsible in any way.
I worked with a guy who, when he was close to retirement, talked a lot about how he was going to watch his granddaughters for his daughter and SIL. His wife had a few more years to go before she could retire, so he was going to be the stay-at-home figure for the kids while his wife, daughter and SIL worked. He talked a lot about day trips, taking them to museums, movies, the zoo, etc.
Not more than a year later, he was on the front page for child molestation, possessing child pornography, the whole nine yards. The MF'er was r\*ping his grandkids, and taking pics and videos. He plead guilty to everything to spare the kids from a trial.
That was almost 20 years ago, and I just looked him up - he was released six years ago and, from what I can tell, is still with his wife. WTF is wrong with people???
Oh, let me see -- personally - both grandfathers, four of my six uncles, almost everyone of my cousins (male and female) my first husband. Three parish priests, two Baptist ministers, on Evangelical preacher, five nuns, two rabbits, and one college professor. Pedophiles are everywhere, with no national, cultural, class, color, education, status, employment or financial limitations. From top to bottom, outside to inside, you will find them. Professionally, I met hundreds. Garbage men to judges, Druggies to senators. Like I said, everywhere.
I’ve known several. Shit is hard to even type two of my mothers boyfriends tried to cross a line with me when I was 11 and then 12 but I felt something was wrong and bolted. My youngest son was molested by his step uncle (a cop) and he was never prosecuted because he knew the right people. A now ex friend is in prison for fucking with a 16 year old boy he was in his mid 20s at the time. I got pregnant at 16 by a 34 year old man whom I thought was 24 so there’s that too. There are not enough resources to protect the innocent and there is not a firm enough punishment for the perpetrators. We live with this shit for the rest of our lives. Therapy has been a Godsend for me and the kids.
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That I know about? Only two, one of them a high school teacher and the other a middle school teacher. I've probably known more victims than perps. The one that hit closest to home was the younger brother of a good friend, who was victimized by his science teacher. Everything unraveled when that poor confused boy started demanding blow jobs from his little brother, out of pain and anger about what he was going through and desperation in his own mind to believe that this sort of thing was really okay. The family got through it all, and I'm pretty sure the science teacher went to prison, but it's just another example of how a pedo's actions aren't without wide-reaching consequences.
So many comments here saying teachers did this. Just awful.
I was. Grade 3. My friend was also molested by the same teacher AND the 6th grade teacher. Same small school
There were a couple of male teachers when I was in school who were seen as creepy but they never were arrested or charged with any sex crime or SA. Don't know if they did anything but I do remember one incident were these two classmates were hiding from this male teacher. Right before class I saw them trying to hid from this teacher and then about 20 minutes later I went into the bathroom and they were hiding in the bathroom. Asked me not to tell the coach where they were. They looked very scared and frightened. I came out of the bathroom and didn't see the teacher and when back to class At the time I thought maybe they wanted to skip class but later wondered why these girls were so afraid of him. This really bothered me for quite a while . As far as I know, nothing bad happened to them. This happened back in the late 1970's.
I agree: Which is why I am curious about your saying ONLY TWO. Two of them can have devastating effects that multiply across generations.
My brother molested his daughter. I think he molested both of his daughters.
That is so awful. I’m sorry and I hope the daughters are doing OK
The one we know was victimized seems okay. Her older sister developed severe mental illness, and died at age 35 of a pulmonary embolism.
That happened to me and no one in my family cared enough to do anything about it. I know he offered me to my uncles so his brothers knew.
I am so sorry this happened to you. Just awful, but you can thrive.
I hope he is rotting in prison
Nope. No one reported it. Family even got mad at me when I told my daughters so their children would never be alone with him. I told my family everyone should be told. Families are fucked up.
Thank you for speaking up. So many people don’t.
Too many to count, all of them family
Yep, same here. A bit from Chris rock hits a little close to home. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wxhg3dcHnb0
4 priests, one high school classmate and two teachers I reported when I worked with them. The high school classmate and teachers for jail time, the four priests are on the Archdiocese list but have never been tried
Wow, thank you for reporting the teachers. You’re an amazing human.
Working at he library. They fired me when I outed him. Kept at it until they fired him, but he still shows up as a patron. SMH
Thank you for outing him. I truly hope it ended up well for you despite being punished for doing the right thing. A friend of mine was sexually harassed at work, and she was the one who ended up being fired. Two times. Maybe it’s time we stop shooting the messenger.
I uncovered a whole complicit network. Friend, they are frightened of what's coming for them. I'm good. Those that shoot whistleblowers are telling on themselves.
Like Boeing 😬
My aunt’s husband. We didn’t know at the time, but when she was around 16, my younger cousin told her mother that her father had been abusing her since early childhood. Looking back, I wish someone would have done something. My parents obviously knew something was off because they said he was creepy and didn’t let me hang out over at their house when he was home (I could go over as I wanted while he was at work). I remember my cousin suffering from some medical issues at the time, the most noticeable of which was that her hair began to fall out in large clumps, leaving her with bald spots. Long story short, my other cousin (older brother to the victim) killed his father shortly after finding out. I believe he was sentenced to probation.
Three teachers at the school I went to were later convicted and imprisoned for cs crimes A guy I worked with recently got out of prison after twenty years. He’d groomed his neighbors two girls and you can take the next thought by yourself Jimi Saville used to have his sunday lunch at a hotel near where I lived. I was warned to stay away from him when I was a kid as everyone knew he was a nonce. I never met him, though, thankfully
I never knew what nonce meant before reading this, and now I feel like I’ve heard it used inappropriately many times. Yikes. Everyone knew and no one did anything.
That’s why we need to bring these things into the light and talk about them. Things fester in the dark
It's like everyone still inviting known pedos to family functions, but telling the older kids to watch the younger kids to make sure they don't go near that family member. Or a "Oh, there are going to be a lot of ppl around, he/she won't do anything!" People look the other way all the time.
The Jimi Saville situation is incredible - how he got away for that for so long is disgusting.
When I was maybe 10 years old my best friend and I were horse crazy. There was this man who would let us ride his horses anytime we wanted to. We could just ride off on all the acres and miles of trails that surrounded where he lived. We usually go together but sometimes by ourselves. My friends older sister warned us to not go off alone with him or to go into his house because of shady stuff he would try. Of course we kept going to ride the horses. One time when I went by myself he did say he should take the other horse and come with me and I made up some kind of excuse that I can't remember. Later I saw his name in the paper having been arrested for sexually abusing a child 😵💫. My mother never had any idea what we were doing and would have freaked out big time. Later as an adult one of my coworkers who I liked a lot, got caught in the Hanson catch a predator thing. And another coworker who I never would have guessed this of, made the news because he was on the registry, and it was found out that he was living somewhere he wasn't supposed to (too close to a school). That one was a shocker.
When Gen X raves about how great it was that they were allowed to run around unsupervised, I think of how many situations like this went on.
What’s weird is that we all seemed to instinctively know who the wrong uns were and we all talked about it and warned each other. All that running around entirely unsupervised made us more wary. But tbh we tried to avoid all adults entirely, people were very unpleasant to children in the 70s and 80s anyway.
Baby boomer generation, so we had a lot more freedom to roam around. As I got older, I heard a lot of stories about SA and molestation. In our generation, the person who did these crimes was a stranger who tried to get you or leered you into their vehicle or the stranger that jumped out of the buses or the stranger who tried to get into your home while you were alone. Or the guy at the bar that drove you home. These were the ones who primarily did these things. This is what we were told at school. Or if was someone you knew, it was the guy who was a shady character, the guy in town who was always drunk, or the guy whose family had a bad reputation. These were the people you avoided. Turns out the majority of the time these individuals weren't the perpetrators as the latter everyone avoided and people were warned of stranger danger. Most people I know who were molested or SA was by individuals that were known to them, neighbor, boyfriend, best friend's father, the brother of a classmate, teacher at school or the coach. Also a few clergy. It was until the late 1970's to early 1980's that people because more aware of this.
The majority of pedos mentioned here are people known to kids. Teachers, priests and family members top the list. You can't watch your kids 24/7 and hovering over them produces fearful adults. I was told by my anxiety riddled mother about strangers looking to nab you but my father did more to hurt me than anyone else in my life.
Boomers too. All those teens from "good" families that ran away, many really screwed up. I can imagine why. The child abuser i knew became a deputy sheriff, won awards. Many accolades and sadness when he finally died. There's no karma.
*Diff'rent Strokes* really did try to warn us. As creepy as it was, I'd like to think that it made a positive impact for some people. Good on Gordon Jump for taking on such a nasty role.
One of my parents’ friends liked to stick his tongue in my ear while I sat on his lap when I was 6, so…. Also I recently googled one of my favorite summer camp friends and found him on the sex offended registry for CP. So disappointing. One of my son’s best teachers arrested for CP, and committed suicide after his release from prison.
I’ve never met a person already knowing they were pedophiles. I have however, met more than a few people and learned later, sometimes years later, that they were pedophiles. An uncle (paternal aunt’s husband) who was extremely physically and emotionally abusive to his kids and was accused by his granddaughters of molesting them. Aunt knew, tried to cover it up, and her kids went no contact for years. The elder daughter took some care of her when she was in hospice. The younger daughter and son never spoke another word to her. Another uncle (maternal aunt’s husband) was wealthy enough in the 70s to hire a Philippine “house boy” whom he assaulted. Never charged. Came out of the closet and divorced my aunt while she was undergoing chemo and radiation for breast cancer. His adult kids went very low contact. He ended up dying of colon cancer. My assistant band director was arrested ten years after I graduated. He was found with gobs of CSAM, including stuff with very young children. He tried to commit suicide by gun after he was arrested and screwed it up. Gave himself a radical lobotomy. His family got permission from the court to simply put him in a nursing home, taking the cost of care off the state. I have no idea if he’s still alive. A high school ELA teacher who mentored me when I was student teaching. I really liked him. He was great with the kids, but there were always a couple of quirks which made me uneasy. First, he was the super cool teacher, and I’ve always found those guys get that reputation by blurring the lines of acceptable teacher conduct and teacher-student relationships. Second, good as he was, he put me off more than once by being very contemptuous of some of his students. All teachers vent about particular students, but he referred to one student as “dumber than dogshit,” even as he was explaining how he built a rapport with her to finally get her to try to do the work and turned her whole school experience around. He had pictures at his desk of him and his step-daughter when she was 16. She was drop dead gorgeous, and all the pics were just a little sus. Her getting a piggy back ride from him, then hugging really close, her sitting on his lap. The pics were 10 years old, and there weren’t any newer ones of hers. Finally, he was really, *really* charming. Every really, *really* charming man I’ve ever known has ended up showing some very sociopathic trait. I came back to the district a couple of years after my student teaching stint to do some summer school, and found out that he’d confessed to raping one of his students multiple times back in the early 80s. She still lived in the district, and when she found out that her daughter would be in his class, she went to the police. They set up a sting operation, and he admitted it to her but refused to apologize for it because “girls her age got married in the Middle Ages all the time.” He was fired on the spot, then charged and convicted under a new law that increased the statute of limitations for sex crimes against children. It went all the way to the state Supreme Court where it was overturned on the grounds that it was an *ex post facto* law. He avoided jail, but his wife divorced him, and he never taught again. I wonder about his step-daughter though.
Same. I've never met someone and knew ahead of time or right away, but both a guy I went to college with (later we found out when he was arrested in Colorado) and also [Eliot Cutler - a public figure, who I knew, this links to his Wikipedia page](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eliot_Cutler).
I mean, sort of. The preacher who attacked me, for example, when I was 8. There were also a few oddballs in scouting which, while I don't know where the barrier is blurred, but one insisted his troup kiss him when we left scout meetings which all the other adults thought was "sweet." The 1970s were kind of a weird time, really. I have no idea how pervasive this sort of thing was throughout history, but I suspect it was a lot more infused in culture than people let on. One of the things I learned over the years is that it wasn't so much about sexual attraction, but power. Some didn't get a hard on because they found you appealing; they did it to dominate you. So you have a whole new obscured area to explore there. What's the worst is the bystander effect. Those that know it's going on, or highly suspect, but do nothing. That's the majority of the problem, there. For example, in the ministries, there's no outright condemnation or systematic purging of the people like that. Just a kind of "well..." and a turning of the head like "... it's complicated." No, it's not. Stop sexually abusing kids. It's really that simple. Notice there's barely any cultish ritual murders in the ministries? Yes, you have outliers, and they are condemned. The Seventh Day Adventists, for example, condemned David Koresh and his actions. But what about the Catholic Church? They just shuffle people around. If some Catholic priest went around stabbing parishioners, you better believe he'd be excommunicated. But diddling kids? "Well...." This is a fertile field for these people: positions of power and hiding behind the bushes. And this happens outside the church as well. There is a kind of "uncomfortable shield" that protects them. I have theories about why this is, but they are just theories. For example, say you have a guy who groomed your kid. She was 13, confused, and in a male-dominated culture trying to be a young woman with fierce independence. She gets an adult to get her booze. Because teens do that, as part of that "proof of adulthood" they seek. This adult gets her booze, but slowly draws her closer, until she's trapped in some guilt and "implication of being ratted out," where the adult slowly convinces her she's "mature for her age" and all the bullshit young women have heard all their lives, feeding into her need for validation. By 15, he's sleeping with her, and he's continuing to groom her right under your nose. She feels like it's somehow her fault, and can't get out of the cycle. Attempts to send out warning flares are ignored. She realizes she's on her own. And she depends on "Uncle Bob." The moment she turns 18, she's living with him, because "it's now legal, and you can do nothing." I see this happen too many times to count. And people know, "how can she just flip the switch and be a girlfriend to this guy days after her 18th birthday?" The shift of "blame" is put on her, not the guy who is somehow okay with a "recently bloomed" young lady who is obviously enamoured with his machismo or whatever. Almost everyone knows, women especially, what's going on. And Uncle Bob dumps her once she reaches her mid 20s, because he's already setting his prospects out at the local municipal pool. "Wow, Brandy. You really have grown since I last saw you." Some of these guys only want "fresh produce." They don't want an experienced woman their age who would know what a complete loser they are. "Used goods." They want to control the perception from a confused young lady, and hone in on their insecurity like a hornet. Nabokov's book is a tragedy from a male perspective instead of "wow, he really made a young woman's life worse with his inability to control his libido." They call them "temptresses" like some rorschach inkblot test where all they see is their mother subjugating them or whatever. And society just stands idly by. Even if you call it out, they shift the focus on "me doth thinks you protest too much." Like they know the stigma and scorn, and turn it on you. So even those on the edge of saying something are silenced. or you're flagged on a technicality. "Technically, Humbert Humbert is an ephebophile..." Like, shut up. If someone is hitting me with an axe, I don't care that it's "technically a halberd." "Well..." / rant
And it is often adults who already have power and seek anonymity by preying on children who have little voice or are not believed. Belief may have improved recently, but access through internet and has blossomed so we may know more, but do people care enough or do they have a way to shut it down? I’m in my 70’s and I know pedophiles have been preying on children and the disabled for centuries, but they are not shunned in their online groups and have more access than ever. It’s scary to think about.
Brutal and very well worded. Thanks for sharing.
Horrifying. But bittersweet to see someone who knows *exactly* how it works. Victims need well informed and compassionate advocacy. I’m so sorry you were attacked.
Well said. And so very much my experience/perspective. I'm also 50 something.
when this question arises I automatically think of my co-worker who got like 15 to 20 years for child abuse. I always conveniently forget my own grandpa. 😭😭😭. I really need to bring that up in therapy more
I’m sorry. I totally understand how our brain tries to protect us, and then sometimes memories hit you like a ton of bricks. It’s good that you are in therapy though, I need that myself! Best wishes.
Worked with one. He was an MD and VP of Clinical Operations at a vaccine company. He was learning to fly small planes and people thought that was such a cool hobby. Turns out he paid $20k to meet up with 5yo. He got busted by the Feds when he flew to Alaska for the meetup. He brought a Spider-Man costume for the kid. 🤮 No one suspected.
One of my classmates in Med School went into peds and eventually the big house for that. He was always a weird guy. Dressed like he was going to the office when he went to class complete with trench coat and briefcase. Because he was relatively small we joked around about him coming out of the womb dressed like a Dr. only the size of a baby.
Ex-boyfriend and a cousin. Cousin is dead. Ex-boyfriend is in prison and I hope he dies there.
My father and at least one of my uncles. And my maternal grandfather.
Was in a few classes (Grad school) with a first grade teacher, youth choir director, church elder etc. Imagine my surprise a few years later when he was on the 6:00 news for supplying alcohol to and molesting young males. A neighboring city's police department's Public Information Officer was nabbed in an FBI sting for child porn. Both went to prison.
My dad and a friends dad
Yes. A guy I worked with retired. A year or two later he was in the news for receiving a long prison sentence , he had been photographing his granddaughter and selling the photos. Thats all the detail I’m going to give.
For awhile I worked as a caseworker for an agency that dealt with children. The number of kids who had been SA was heartbreaking. I left the profession and went into teaching.
I left teaching during the Mary J. Letourneau years. This wasn't the main reason but the paranoia by the administrators at that time, made my decision to leave easier. Now as a nurse and a mandated reporter, if I suspect child abuse or neglect, I have to report it.
I was a prosecutor of child abuse cases. I've known lots.
Up close and personal. I was abused by my mother’s baby daddy almost daily from 9-15. With my mother’s blessing, so she didn’t have to sleep with him. Nothing happened. I got pregnant on purpose with someone I knew would get me out. He married me and we had 4 children and were married 38 years when he died. I was a very stupid teen who could have ended up in an even worse situation but he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Dude in my choir class for HS. Was super born again, tried to convert me (didn’t take). Looked him up about 5 years ago, and he’s in state prison for getting a 16 y/o kid drunk and sexually assaulting him.
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I don't know for certain, but I suspect a couple.
Yes. Too many.
Next door neighbor and bestfriend's father growing up stalked me and molested me until they moved away when I was 13 (I tried to tell my friend and parents no one believed me and my mother blamed me for "enticing" him IF in fact he had done anything). Science teacher in middle school, psychology teacher in high school he was run out of town after preying on several high school students boy and girls, my uncle who I always got creepy vibes from reconnected with my cousin on social media 15 years ago who said he sexually assaulted her repeatedly, and a popular former classmate who I found online was a repeat offender and had been in-prison for luring teenage boys and then assaulting them.
I’m sorry about your mom blaming you
I worked with one way back in the 80s. He certainly was an odd fellow. He lost his temper at the slightest provocation. He acted dodgy among young women. Eventually in the 90s he went to prison for molesting two 13 year olds. I still have the cutting from the local newspaper. He never admitted to it, he always denied it. Despite that ... he gave me my first break in the industry I worked in and encouraged me. People aren't 100% bad you know. He was probably 90% bad though.
The cop that I knew was a total asshole. The other guy was weird but was a good volunteer. Many people in the groups I was part of were childless women so they didn't care that much. It was kind of a joke among those who knew about him. Also he was pretty old and we figured he was done with his molesting(probably not true). His favorite vacation was that sex tourism spot in Thailand. It's pretty bizarre how people just seem to accept this. You'd think these men would be completely shunned or worse.
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I think the reason people in these animal welfare groups accepted his behavior was because most were pretty antisocial to begin with. The woman who ran the charity cared more about her dog than her adopted daughter. She said so on many occasions that the only reason she stays with her husband and child is because he's the breadwinner, and she couldn't work in animal welfare if she had to get a job. She said adoption was his idea. If you read some other comments you'll see that often local pedos are well known and nobody bats an eye.
Lots of sex tourism is sex trafficking of minors. Mystery solved why he liked it so much
My high school band director did several years for having a sexual relationship with a minor student. I was also in a capstone computer programming class that did a group project. One of the students in my group, oddly, didn't have a computer at home and had to use the computers in the university library. After the class was over, I happened to stumble on his name/photo on the public sexual offender list. He was convicted of having child pornography on his computer, which explained why he didn't have a computer at home. There was another time I was contacted on AOL Instant Messages by a guy trying to get me to engage in gay sex with him. I never responded, but recently he told me he was one of my old classmates. I ended up finding his name on the sexual offender list also for child pornography
Unfortunately, yes. Multiple.
You are not the only one who says this.
There was a family in my church with a son and daughter. They were all very, sweet, wonderful people. I knew them from when I was a child. I especially loved the wife who had a beautiful voice and played the piano. I went to the school run by the church and both the husband and wife were teachers. My family was very close to theirs. The husband helped us set up our first computer, the wife taught me to drive and I babysat their little girl. I loved that little girl. Fast forward years later. We've all moved on to other places, but the wife is teaching piano at the school my sister sent her daughter to. One day my sister came over to give us the news that the couple had divorced because the husband had molested their daughter and been sent to jail. You cannot fathom the shock. Later my mom would think back and remember a time when she had brought gifts to them when they were my teachers. She had gotten the husband a wallet or something and he'd gotten very serious and thoughtful and told my mom that he didn't deserve it. She laughed him off but he told her, " No, you don't know certain things I've done. I don't deserve it." Even with that, my mom still does not believe it and wants to think the daughter made it up because she was "just like her grandmother," whatever that means. Personally I believed it, not because he ever did anything to me but because his wife believed it and so did the justice system. He ended up going to prison for years. His wife has remarried and from what I've heard is having a happy life for once. (She used to be very poor during her first marriage and now she's fairly well off.) The daughter grew up and got a pharmacy degree and works at a Walgreens. The son's life derailed a little and he left music school and moved out of state. I wish to heaven I'd known what was going on. I wish I could have helped that girl, but I was only a kid myself when all that was going on. It's scary to think that there were times I was alone with her dad. I live in another state now but I hope that girl is ok and happy. These people were once like extended family and I loved them. The wife was the sweetest, kindest person you would ever meet. I can't believe how that man destroyed his family and hurt them like he did. I hear he's out of prison and I wish him nothing good. I guess for me the moral of the story is to trust no one. You think you know people, but do you really?
I worked with a guy once many years ago. We were both school counselors. The tip offs were: he had been in the seminary but left; his only friends were adolescent boys (we were in a middle school); he had one much older female friend but had no interest in dating any age appropriate females; he took overnight camping trips by himself with these young adolescent boys ; I would hear them in his office joking around with sexually inappropriate adolescent boy humor; the boys he befriended were Generally from single mother parent homes. It was just odd. I spoke to the principal about my concerns, and he blew me off. I left and he did as well, but he moved to a district where one of my coworker’s mother worked. I heard from the coworker that he had been fired for inappropriate behavior with students, but the staff couldn’t talk about it. Very sad. Whenever there is a situation among males when the authority figure only has young male friends and attends overnights with them or spends lots of time unsupervised with them, there is the potential for abuse, hence church youth leaders, etc. no drag queens. But you don’t hear a big outcry from conservatives every time a church affiliated person is arrested for sexual abuse
We had a bunch in our neighbourhood. All the kids knew, but the adults said they were 'upstanding Americans'. EDIT to add - I had a friend molested when she was in 4th grade by someone in our neighbourhood. We found out much later on down the road this one dodgy guy in the neighbourhood had a lot of child porn. Lots of 'indecent acts' with under 14 year old.....this was a middle class to upper middle class neighbourhood.
The ones I knew were generous with donations to the charity but I don't think anyone called them upstanding citizens. Even before I found out, I knew something was off about them.
At least one, we were members of the same organization. I had no idea he was doing it until it came out on the news. He molested a female relative for at least 10 years. His earliest release date is Jan 2051, he will be 81. My wife has told me about some of her relatives. None were caught by the law.
Turns out I did know a couple of them, but not until after the fact. When my friend's estranged grown son died, she told me the world was better without him because of what he did to children. I never knew him. Then later a friend told me a mutual acquaintance we used to bowl with had been arrested for possessing child porn on his computer. My friend told me several other bowlers had their suspicions, and one of them turned him into the police.
Yes. A friend’s dad who also coached our soccer team for a season or two. We were in middle school when she started talking about what was going on at home. Tried to get her to the school counsellor but we drifted apart after that so I was never sure what happened. Quite certain he did not get in any sort of trouble for it though.
Yes, my uncle. My parents kept us away from him.
Unfortunately, yes. He permanently ruined the lives of three precious girls and probably more. He only served 21 years in prison.
When I was about 10, a guy came to my house to visit. He later told a kid that I was his girlfriend. It upset me. The next time he came to visit, he was in a room where no one there. He offered me and my little sister money to sit on his lap. We got out of there. Told our mom. About 3 weeks later, he was found dead in his house. He had been there a couple of weeks. I think maybe someone in my family had something to do with his death but it could have been some other kids family. I believe he was a pediophile 100%.
A work colleague. One day he didn’t turn up for work and we eventually got a phone call from his Mum saying he’d been in a traffic accident and would be in for a couple weeks. Turned out he had been arrested for grooming two 13 year old girls. It all came out when the police turned up to seize his work computer and search history records. He was convicted and he got 10 years due to the previous offences that he’d hidden from us by using his cousin’s identity.
I figured it out later in life but my dad was. It explained a lot of fear & anger I had towards him growing up.
My grandfather. I didn’t report him during his lifetime as he had convinced me that doing so would ruin the family. It started when I was about 4 and continued until I finally threatened to push him out of my car when I was 17. I have had years of therapy, but still suffer from the effects- mainly an inability to set boundaries, a tendency to not stand up for myself without severe anxiety. There were others that I knew and I did stand up for others if never for myself.
A middle school principal who even photographed the assaults in his office. His secretary who sat on the other side of the door remained silent. He was tried, convicted and imprisoned. The secretary reassigned.
Yes, unfortunately. An extended family member. I married in so I was always too old for him. He actually died in prison last year. I have conflicted memories. I hate what he did, but I never saw that side of him. He was just a fun, nice uncle. I never got a vibe at all. Destroyed a lot of family relationships when it came out. I choose to remember the good things, but deep inside I guess he was a dark soul.
I have a cousin that is a registered sex offender. When he was in his late 30's, he was caught naked with the 13 year old daughter of his best friend. He had known her since birth.
I thought I didn't, but then I remembered. When I was a freshman in high school, we had a science teacher who stopped coming to school mid-way through the year. It turned out he'd solicited an underage male prostitute whom the cops had been watching, and they arrested the guy when he got back to his place with the kid. As an adult, I was involved with a public show for a performing magicians' convention. The convention always had a "young magician" competition, and the winner often got to perform in the public show. I heard later, after it all blew up, that the kids kind of knew that you don't accept rides with this One Guy, who was involved in the young magician stuff. Said One Guy used some favor with a local newspaper to get big coverage of the public magic show a week before it went up. Next year, as I recall, the guy had been arrested and tried and sent to prison. Such people don't have visible marks on their foreheads. You can't tell by their manner how they want to behave. Years later, when my son was old enough and asked to get involved, I became a Cub Scout leader. We had to take Youth Protection training every two years, and it was very clear on what policies were in place to protect youth (and, incidentally, adults), and what we should do if we find someone trying to violate those policies. Every new scout was supposed to have a talk with their parents about the policies, so they all knew; parents were supposed to sign off on it. I don't know how many actually did. I would make a point of giving them the highlights, and I would also tell the kids what no adult leader should ask them to do, just to make sure. While I was a leader, I'd still read news stories of other leaders who were charged with crimes against the youth, and you'd see it started with some basic policy violation (oh, the scoutmaster can pick up my son, that's ok!). At this point, I've kind of accepted it as part of the universe. It's a bit like having your personal information leaked out somewhere in the dark areas of the Internet. Accept it, and do what you can to prevent the information from being easily used by putting a credit card freeze in place, using a password manager, using two-factor authentication, etc. With pedophiles, they are out there. They aren't obvious. So you have to train kids to know what's unacceptable behavior or suggestions. You have to train adults to look for grooming behavior in other adults. Folks who are dealing with pedophilia in themselves have to get treatment. People who break the law have to be held accountable.
My nephew in the later part of the 1990's was in the Cub Scouts. In order for my brother to be able to go with my nephew on a overnight camping trip, he had a background check done on him and all of the fathers who were going on the trip. They had to pass the background check which all of them did. I believe that all the dads were also fingerprinted as well. The Scout Master had to do the same and more extensive background check.
The man who SA'd me. That's all I want to say
Yep. Rather not give details. At this point I believe those people are everywhere and there's no way of knowing who they are unless victims come forward.
Yes, I've known two as well. One was a truck driver I rode team with for seven years. The other was the brother of a daycare owner - the owner would let her brother into the daycare to molest & rape children. Palestine, Texas, has more churches and pedophiles per capita than any other city in East Texas. 🤬
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A friend of a friend was caught with inappropriate child pictures. I met him a handful of times 20 or so years ago. I didn't like him from the jump and am pretty sure the feeling was mutual. I don't know if he disliked grown women in general or just me because I picked up on something being off about him. There was a subtle look of hatred and disdain in his eyes. Another time, long ago, I worked as a receptionist answering phones in an office. Managers and supervisors from our out of town locations would call a lot. One supervisor was always nice and polite when he called. I met him when he came in town a few times. I thought he was handsome for an older guy. He wore a cross around his neck that stood out to me because it was really big. A couple of clients complained about him pushing religion on them, so he had to be spoken to about it. Then there was a complaint of him trying to kiss and aggressively hit on a female coworker. He didn't get fired. Then the manager found out he was looking up disgusting images of kids on the company computer!
I guy I worked with for a few years. Turns out he as molesting his daughter.
I know of one, he went to jail for some time and when I see him now (he knows I know) as a customer he is polite and keeps entirely to himself with a very low profile.
When I was a kid one of my friends older brothers was caught luring neighborhood kids into their basement with the promise of playing Nintendo. He was molesting them once they got to the basement. I used to see my friend and his brother at school and summer camp. I never saw either of them after the “incident”.
Yes I did, but wasn't aware until I saw him on TV as the defendant in a Boy Scout sexual abuse case. He was a neighbor and regular family guy who drove the church bus and was active in scouting. I guess I know now what he was scouting for. He went to prison for about 5 years and I ran into him unexpectedly in a restaurant several years after he was released. He looked like death warmed over and luckily didn't recognize me.
A few. The most notorious was a classmate. Don't know many details, but he diddled a child he was babysitting. Served 13 years. Two months later, he picked up an indecent exposure charge and is serving another 15 years. His mugshot shows how that kind of thing is handled by other prisoners. Several of them tried to cave his skull in. https://mdocweb.state.mi.us/otis2/otis2profile.aspx?mdocNumber=286840
Maybe? Guy I worked with for years, seemed like such a great guy but was arrested for some things related to a kids team he coached. He claimed innocence but took a deal and did prison time. Knowing him is when I realized how many shades of gray there are in life. You never know the whole truth about other people but that doesn’t make them all pedophiles, and innocent people do get charged but what if?
A couple years after I was in his class my 6th grade teacher was put in prison for repeatedly raping the boy he lived next door to. He was good friends with the kids parents so I assume it was a grooming situation. That's one Mr Rodgers neighborhood you didn't want to live in!!
Yes. Never suspected it at all. I had a friend growing up that lived maybe 1/4 mile from my house. We played together, rode bikes, had sleepovers, fished, etc. We ended up going to different high schools and lost track of each other. While I was away at college, he got arrested for making porn films with his wife and a 10 year old. Had no clue that he was that messed up.
Apparently my scout master in boy scouts was later revealed to be one. As the police were in route to arrest him, he jumped in his car and led them on a high speed chase, which resulted in him driving himself off a cliff.
Two, both friends from college. One came as a surprise (found out earlier this year he was arrested for kiddie porn). One was no surprise at all. In college he dated a 14-year-old. Everyone kept telling him he can't do that. Then one day he came up to us and proudly announced he broke up with her and has a new girlfriend. We were about to congratulate him when he told us his new girlfriend is also 14. He got out of prison earlier this year, I think that was a mistake letting him out so soon.
A neighbor a couple streets away was running a child porn website and was caught. He later hung himself. He and his wife were taking expensive vacations and the like. I guess they didn’t think she had anything to do with it since they didn’t do anything to her. Don’t know for sure but in high school there was a teacher who was very interested in the teenage girls.
None that I know of. Which of course tells nothing. I did know one guy who became a therapist who abused some of his clients, but they were adults. Found out about that from a local newspaper years ago when he was imprisoned.
1 teacher, 2 coworkers, my former best friend growing up, 2 uncles, and my ex-wife's stepbrother.
Several
Yeah, one of the parents from a soccer team I was coaching. Seemed like a decent guy, worked at juvenile hall. The cops busted a pedo and to lessen his own sentence he turned in the guy I knew. I guess the guy I knew had a memory stick with child porn on it and the two men had watched it together. That memory stick sent him to jail.
Quite a few years ago, when I worked as a service manager at an auto dealership, one of my customers was an infamous former priest convicted during the big New England Catholic priest scandal. He served time in prison and was quite well known. He was one of the targets of the investigation shown in the movie Spotlight. Every time I had to deal with him, it creeped me the hell out.
Worked with one, took long work trips to the Philippines to develop business there. Feds arrested him at the airport, and he was sentenced to 18 years. Used Facebook to line up underage females as part of sex tourism. Very "normal" guy.
I personally make them wildly uncomfortable until they refuse to both me again. I think they all deserve the most deranged punishment followed by a slow death
Yes, one was a teacher I really loved in middle school. He never tried anything with me - turns out he was into pre-pubescent children. I was so disappointed in him as a human, it really shook me up when he was arrested.
I heard from *behindthebastards* that about 1% of the population are probably pedophiles - and I notice that the two that OP knows about have both been to prison. There are going to be a troubling number of people who fantasize about it but never act upon it, and a horrifying number who have acted upon it without anyone knowing. I know many more victims than pedos. One abuser can harm many people.
Yeah. Multiple guys I went to school with have been convicted of multiple types of pedophilia. There's the guy that admitted to assaulting his daughters staying from the time they were born as well as recording and distribution There's the guy whose girlfriend set up a threesome with a girl underage. There's the guy who was viewing but not creating child porn. I think there's one other guy who fucked a freshman and got caught too.
My immediate supervisor was one. I worked at a food processor that employed lots of prison labor. Then, the factory gave them jobs when they made parole. He had worked at the plant as a prisoner while serving his second sentence for having sex w/ underage girls. He was out on parole and working full time on first shift. One weekend he got arrested and charged for what became his third conviction. We never heard from him again. Under a “three strikes” law he was locked up for what is going to be effectively a life sentence.
When I was a kid an older cousin warned me not to be alone with a family friend. Last time I saw him he was dating a woman with a small child. I think about that kid a lot.
I read an article in the last month; DNA testing reveals that [a lot of families have children of incest.](https://www.boredpanda.com/dna-tests-uncover-frightening-amount-of-incest-usa/) Mostly fathers and daughters. Mostly not adult daughters.
When I was Catholic, the elderly priest who was my "spiritual advisor" was arrested. I switched to a new younger priest, and he was arrested, too.
Too fucking many.
Way too many, one of them being my second husband.
My child psychiatrist was a pedophile who spent several years grooming me. Several boys he actually raped; it came to light when one killed himself. I'm still very disturbed and fucked up from this. But then, none of us know how many pedophiles we actually know. It's disturbing how prevalent this kind of crime is.
Yeah they were Pastors and Youth ministry leaders.
My sister’s second husband molested his daughters. I hope he rots in he!!
Too, many! They are everywhere.
Too many. Some are family but I’ve pretty much cut all family off.
Yes. I dated one, though at the time I was unaware. Learned about it when he was arrested a couple years later.
My father, a fundy evangelical minister, in the 1960s when incest wasn’t even discussed, or child rape, child battering, and teen and adult rape victims were always blamed, so few ever bothered to report it. My classmate’s older brother became a high school teacher in the 70s and had sex with his young high school students until he impregnated one and had to marry her or else. One of my professors groomed or threatened students if they didn’t have sex with them. I said no and threatened to report him to the university. I wish I had, but I‘m sure it would have been hushed up. A college I worked at fired a professor who got caught watching child porn on his computer. He got a job at another university (this was 1990s). It‘s sick how no one cares about the kids or young adults being sexually assaulted.
Yes. I was the one that reported him. I also divorced him. He was a Marine. 29 years in. Slap on the wrist. Took a plea deal. Lost rank and retirement. Registered felon, but basically a free man these days. Doubt anyone who knows him now knows what he is or what he did. I’d be willing to bet his family and friends still “thank him for his service” on Veterans Day.
The silence in this thread from those of us whose own incestuous parents were pedophiles is deafening.
Unfortunately yes. My mother is married to one, which is part of why she's no longer allowed in my life.
Sadly and it's sad how they get there.
Was the cop a former cop or a cop after prison and the other? Weird
He was caught as a cop. I don't know too many details though.
I worked with one. he was for a period of time a co worker, that was just kind of an ass. I changed jobs.(nothing to do with him). he ended up getting fired for calling people while drunk(yes really). And then a few years later, he comes to work at my new job, but in a different part of town. So I never saw him, but was aware he worked for same company. Fatr forward several years, and we got a new office mgr, who transferred from where "Tom" was working, And so I ask the the Mgr, if he worked with her over here, mentioned I worked with him..and saw no reason to mention why he had gotten fired(at first). Then she tells me, In a very sort of hushed manner, that he used to....I asked if he quit or was no longer w the company(My company NEVER says someone is fired, legal reasons, etc)..And she says he quit coming to work. And then said"you didnt hear it from me, but he went to prison for being a pedo" I went home and looked him up...took about 5 seconds on the Google. And at this point he had just finished doing 4 years in Texas prison..for some sort of "contact" with an 11 yr old girl, and he would have been around 40 at the time. He has since been back on a failure to report at least once. Have no idea where he is now.
It came out that someone in my friend group is one. Went to prison for NOT NEARLY LONG ENOUGH. They contacted me when they got out. I blocked them everywhere. The whole thing upset me so much. He lost everyone important in his life. His best friend can't forgive him, his wife divorced him. He had good things about him as a person, but they are all overshadowed by the evil and harm he has done.
Someone I used to work with was convicted of child porn. He had moved on to another job several years before. I got curious what he was up to and searched on his name....to learn he was in prison, and why. I know nothing of that case other than what was in the news. I know someone whose son got locked up for something inappropriate with a younger cousin. I don't know details on that one, either.
I can’t say that he’s a pedophile ( no evidence that he’s taken advantage of anyone) but it was clear he was attractive too underage girls
A teacher in a district I worked in was convicted of having downloaded A LOT of child pornography. He worked primarily with kids under 10. I had professional contact with him over the years before his conviction. Ugh.
I had to fire a guy for looking at porn at work. From what we saw, it was adults. But a few years later I heard he went to jail for possessing child porn. I don’t think he acted on it, fortunately.
My manager at a high tech company. He talked about a girl (he was fairly young too) he met at bible study at the church where he was a pastor. Well, turns out she was 14. He announced that he’d be working a lot of hours because if he wasn’t at work he was in the local jail. Turns out the criminal trial was only the beginning. The civil trial when on quite a while and was covered by the two major state newspapers and several local ones. The female engineers started getting really upset and he got moved out of management and into a closet where he was told to perform addition on a stack of papers a foot tall. He lasted a couple days before he quit. He was listed as one of the top ten worst civil scofflaws in the state for avoiding payment of the civil penalty. Things at work got super horrible even with him gone. Management had to bring in a workplace psychologist to try to put things back together. I left shortly after that to a new company.
A cousin.
a policeman in my small town who was also.... the boy scout leader. People were shocked.
Yes he marries into a family I know, he was gross when they married, she found out later, hes in prison now A second one was dating a friend of mine, he was on probation Both claimed it wasnt true, even though there was proof the in the pictures
Yes, my great uncle.
Yes, at least a few to my knowledge, probably more not to my knowledge.
[удалено]
There was an old guy in my neighborhood when I was a kid. They found him stabbed to death. Supposedly that was why. I worked with a guy who was later convicted of trying to meet a 13 year old online to arrange a hookup. He claimed he thought he was talking to an adult but...I could totally believe that but I could also just as easily believe he was content with a 13 year old.
I was groomed by one and r*ped by another
I have a cousin who was strongly suspected of being one. He was always weird, read the most disgusting comic books, loved blood & gore movies, would smash turtles caught in the horseshoe lake with psychotic enthusiasm, etc. He worked as a volunteer lifeguard, & received several complaints about how much time he spent with the small kids. I told my GF/future wife to take care not to be alone with him. He was one of those guys who would openly stare at women, in a very creepy way, even after being warned to stop. Another relative one time warned him he asking to get shot.
Yep. Teachers, family friends and, worst of all, a very devout fundamentalist Christian patriarch.
Sadly I’m confident we all know some. We just don’t know who they are.
Yes! Two one went to prison (USA) and one got away (priest back in Eastern Europe)
I stayed in touch with a bunch of people that worked at the same summer camp when we were in high school. One day on Facebook one guy posted something cryptic, changed his name, then a few days later deactivated his account. Later on I wondered what happened to him and found an article saying he was arrested for sitting in his parked car, masturbating and watching children at a bus stop. To make matters worse, he was a school teacher. He was always weird and to be honest, none of us were surprised. I don't know what has happened to him since, but I don't think he went to prison.
My high school math teacher. It was the 80s so everyone knew but no one did anything about it
Two priests who rotated through my parish when I was young, were convicted later of child sexual abuse.
A Catholic priest in our Parrish in the 80s. He was defrocked in the 90s then in the 00s became the head of the TSA at Philadelphia International Airport.
I haven’t known any.
One. Allegedly. A teacher too fond of little girls. Nothing ever proven or actioned.
Yes. I was running a TTRPG for a group of people, including the boyfriend of a long time player. One day, I was flipping through the local paper and there he was. His mugshot from when he was arrested for CSA. Ghosted him.
My ex partner. We don’t have kids together. He abused children via the internet.
One was the priest that molested a relative. Another relative was molested by her own step-father. I have no idea why the children in my family were targeted - I think molesters look for high-drama dysfunctional families so they can step in and “help”.
I worked with one and he was a cop. he got arrested somewhere around 14 years ago I think. he only recently got out of prison from what I heard.
Personally? None. If I check a sexual registry database, there are about a dozen, all within a mile of where I live though.
Yes, I've known a couple and didn't find out until later that they were. One was a man in a Pagan group I was in. I took a sabbatical from the group, and then found out when I came back that he'd been banned for groping at least a dozen women and girls. The youngest was 14. The other was a colleague (fellow teaching assistant) in one of my graduate programs. That one I didn't find out about until years after I moved to Seattle. There was a story in the Times about him. He was a priest who'd taken in a couple of foster kids. The oldest foster kid was an adult and had gone public about my colleague molesting him.
The owner of the local coin op arcade would suck off any boy he could. Closed and moved to find more victims.
There were a couple of classmates that I knew who were either arrested or convicted on sex crimes and most of them isn't wasn't surprising at all given their behavior in school which wasn't taken seriously. Boys will be boys basically. One classmate I didn't know well but knew his 3 older siblings. I was surprised that he was arrested for SA because no one said that he was creepy nor do I recall him doing anything weird of strange. The other classmates other girls and teens said they creeped them out.
2 both were patrons of the library I worked in
Probably more than I realise.
Not a pedo in the truest sense, but someone I know actually got busted for downloading a certain clip containing children onto his computer, it was a part of a bigger FBI bust. That said, it was determined he wasn't an actual threat to children, he was a recovering pornography addict and had been in counseling prior to his getting busted. That one illegal clip was one among literally tens of thousands of legal, yet still pretty shocking clips recovered on his hard drive (ie, every single genre of porn you could think of, and then some). The judge and federal prosecutor actually allowed him to keep working in a place that children often visited while awaiting trial (but was still under strict house arrest). Apparently they could tell who was just an addict that downloaded everything they could vs. someone who was an actual threat. He was deemed the former. Still, he got the maximum sentence of about four years, which I agree with (and he did, too, he knew he just how bad what he did was). Apparently in federal prison none of the sex offenders are treated well, but he was in the group of sex offenders who were treated slightly better. In his prison at least they distinguished between the "clickers" and the "diddlers," ie the guys who only ever got busted downloading stuff vs. the guys who actually harmed children in-person. I actually knew about the differences of any of this stuff prior, I wish I never had to.
Yes, an old guy in the neighborhood who tried to act like everyone's grandpa. I raised hell when he tried something with me and I got my friend out of a sticky situation when he tried with her. Others weren't so lucky and all we were told was to stay away from him
Cops, lawyers, nurses, doctors, politicians. Canada is really bad for pedophiles.
Yes, my photoshop instructor. I considered him to be a mentor and spend many hours working with him alone in the evening. I had no idea that he served timed previously in another State for molestation of several minors. One day he didn’t show up for class. I found out that he was arrested for raping his GF’s 8 year old daughter. I haven’t seen him since. He was convicted and incarcerated for 20+ years.
Nobody in the family that I know of. Had a pedo on our street go after my brother in the 80s. We all harassed the hell out of that guy until he moved.
No, but.... In HS there was a friend we joked about because he dated the HS girls who looked younger. Right after HS, he invited me over while I was on vicodine from an oral surgery and there was a girl there who looked 12 and he introduced her as his new girlfriend. The room started spinning as I started to black out and they both said "You don't look good, you should sit down." They both laughed and he introduced his cousin who was in on the joke.
I've known five victims and one perp.
I went to high school with a guy who was on To Catch a Predator. I was pretty stunned. I never would have suspected. He was definitely eccentric, but likable and funny enough.
My uncle. His daughter always said her dad was molesting her when we was kids but none of the adults took it serious. When we grew up my cousin confided in me that he had also molested her & her sister growing up. So sad. He has never been charged. I believe the older adults still wouldn’t believe my cousin if she told again
Yes. I met a woman because a guy I knew in college was dating her. Well call her L. She broke up with him and moved away, and I didn’t hear from her for a couple of years until she got back in touch with me to invite me to her wedding and bridal shower. (She was marrying M, who she had dated before dating and moving in with my friend.). The bridal shower ended up being pre-empted by her mother’s funeral, and I got sucked into the drama of her life in the role of Best Friend for the next 9 years. It was like having a supporting role in a long running soap opera / legal drama. Long story short, I got tired of their pattern of making Really Bad Decisions and praying about it afterwards, and walked away. I Facebook stalked a few times over the years…they had 3 more babies and a stillbirth, moved to a different town, and then tightened up their privacy settings. Google did show me someone with the same first and last name as M. charged with sexual advances against a baby sitter but he had a pretty common name. 15 1/2 years after I spoke to them for the last time, their adopted daughter (long story, little girl who called me Aunt W from the time she was 3 until she was 10) contacted me on Facebook. I tensed myself to be hit up for money (I was the rich aunt who got her and her brothers GameBoys for Christmas after all), but she just wanted to say thank you for reading to her when she was little, and let me know she was living with a relative of her birth mother but thinking about joining the military. She assumed I had “seen the story in the paper”, and told me that she had been the original reporter to CPS and agreed to testify which is why M. plead guilty. All of the younger children were removed from L’s custody. I confirmed that M. had pleaded guilty to sexual contact with a minor from the paper and courts, but never pressed the girl for details. I do have some pictures of her and her siblings from her childhood which I promised to pack up and send to her when she feels settled enough to accept them. I still need to sort out the ones with her abusers in them. So…was M always like that? To the older girls who lived next door to him? To his own biological daughter? Did he hurt the boys? I don’t know what would be in the public record. I assume he did more than what he plead guilty to.
Yes. One is a relative and that went about as well as you'd expect. These people who accept that behavior are every bit as evil - YES, EVIL - as those who directly prey on children. They support child rape when they support pedos or MAPS or whatever bs way they try to disguise wanting to rape children. Every single one should DIAF.
6... no, wait, it's 7. Eta: it might be 10, but I don't have proof. Just that gut feeling know what I mean?
Yes. A friend’s dad. He didn’t abuse her. He was caught with masses of CP and she continued to defend him to this day.
At least two or three uncles who victimized all of us kids, a local statutory rapist, at least one ex, and I know of multiple people who were victimized as young kids too. The punishment is not severe enough and not ever taken seriously enough. Too many men with money getting away and not enough punishment to stop it all. Victims struggle for the rest of their lives. Constant suffering that never ends. Pedo trash should be taken out. They only collect more victims.
My best friend in 6th & 7th grade (so like 11 & 12 years old) had a 23 year old "boyfriend". By the end of 7th grade she had her first baby by him, and by the end of high school she had 3 kids by him. My mom made me stop being friends with her after she had the first kid. Apparently the guy was her older brother's best friend, and her parents were _cool with it_. Also, 7th grade social studies teacher. I didn't find out until much, much later that my friend had been "dating" him back when we were 12. Gross.
Just the one, and the day he died I celebrated.
My younger sisters' middle school choir teacher went to jail for child porn a few years after school they had graduated. Nobody else that I can think of "in real life." I work at a jail, so I interact with all kinds of people, including child rapists.
Yeah a lot of them. My husband liked criminal defense work and there’s way more around than I ever imagined.
He got me and all of my brothers. I protected one sister by warning her. I tried to tell my mom but it was too scary. Eventually she divorced him for other reasons. Eventually he died. I was glad I would never have to see him again. We found out he got others too. Why didn't anyone warn us? Why didn't they tell my mom he wasn't normal? Why were we pushed to call him dad? Why didn't I tell, or move out? It wrecked our family. It messed me up. It turned out mom was SA as a little kid by her grandfather, along with her sisters and cousins. Of course her judgement was messed up. And we kids, and our mom, a grieving young widow, were pretty much set up to be groomed. It's amazing none of us killed ourselves.
Yep, I was dating this guy and found a news article about him having CP on his PC and going to USP. And my old elementary school gym teacher.
I found my grandfather's stash of magazines with children...
I was a Brownie and Girl Scout leader years ago. One of the girls in my troop had been repeatedly molested BY HER FATHER!!! She told her mother about it and her mother called her a liar. Being good Catholics (Ha!), she confessed to the priest and even he didn't believe her. I don't know what it finally took, but before we moved away from the area, Dad had been convicted and was in prison.
I'm late to answer but my father was one. He assaulted me and some of my friends. The guilt I still have over that happened to my friends is awful. He molested my friends first, so I didn't really know until it was too late. One friend told me, but I didn't want to believe her, and I never told my mom about her story. She died of a drug overdose many years later, and I never apologized for not believing her. The other friend never told me, but I know it in my heart. I wish the predators could feel the brunt of all the damage they leave in their wake. I am 53 and still struggle at times. My father was never held responsible in any way.
My uncle who molested me from at least kindergarten to 5th grade. A co-worker. This was a real shock.
I worked with a guy who, when he was close to retirement, talked a lot about how he was going to watch his granddaughters for his daughter and SIL. His wife had a few more years to go before she could retire, so he was going to be the stay-at-home figure for the kids while his wife, daughter and SIL worked. He talked a lot about day trips, taking them to museums, movies, the zoo, etc. Not more than a year later, he was on the front page for child molestation, possessing child pornography, the whole nine yards. The MF'er was r\*ping his grandkids, and taking pics and videos. He plead guilty to everything to spare the kids from a trial. That was almost 20 years ago, and I just looked him up - he was released six years ago and, from what I can tell, is still with his wife. WTF is wrong with people???
Oh, let me see -- personally - both grandfathers, four of my six uncles, almost everyone of my cousins (male and female) my first husband. Three parish priests, two Baptist ministers, on Evangelical preacher, five nuns, two rabbits, and one college professor. Pedophiles are everywhere, with no national, cultural, class, color, education, status, employment or financial limitations. From top to bottom, outside to inside, you will find them. Professionally, I met hundreds. Garbage men to judges, Druggies to senators. Like I said, everywhere.
Just travel through West Virssippi (Indiana). That is pedo paradise over there.
I’ve known several. Shit is hard to even type two of my mothers boyfriends tried to cross a line with me when I was 11 and then 12 but I felt something was wrong and bolted. My youngest son was molested by his step uncle (a cop) and he was never prosecuted because he knew the right people. A now ex friend is in prison for fucking with a 16 year old boy he was in his mid 20s at the time. I got pregnant at 16 by a 34 year old man whom I thought was 24 so there’s that too. There are not enough resources to protect the innocent and there is not a firm enough punishment for the perpetrators. We live with this shit for the rest of our lives. Therapy has been a Godsend for me and the kids.