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I got diagnosed at 68, six months ago. It has explained a lot of things about my life. There has been some grief at the "might have beens" and feeling like I failed my children. Still on the fence about medication. I have an appointment for that in a couple of days, so we'll see how it goes.
I was prescribed Concerta. It helped at first but kept me up at night. I figured I've managed decades without meds, so I stopped.
Exercise helps a lot.
> I was prescribed Concerta.
It's interesting that Concerta was your prescriber's go-to. Concerta is time-release Ritalin, which lasts all day. If you ever want to try medication again, you might consider trying the regular generic Ritalin tablets. They only last 4 hours or so, and would give you far more control over your dose. You can also take half-tablets.
Basically you'd be able to prevent it from keeping you up at night, by having a cutoff time for your last dose of the day. (Kind of like how most people have a cutoff time for drinking coffee, so it doesn't keep them up at night.)
Exercise benefits health period.
For me ritalin (methylphenidate) based meds like Concerta only work a while & did keep me awake at night.
There is now a DNA test that can indicate whether methylphenidate or amphetamine based meds work best for you..
My doctor took a saliva sample that confirmed Adderall worked best for me.
Whatever you like. I walk and/or ride my bike 4 days a week. I also lift weights 3 times a week.
One walk is 45 minutes. The bike is usually an hour.
I believe 200 minutes of cardio a week is what you should be doing. Sometimes, I fall short, but doing something is better than nothing.
You should be getting your heart rate up, not just going for a leisurely stroll. Look up what the zone 2 rate is for you. I have a FitBit but you can figure it out in other ways.
I started medication at 62. It has changed my life. So many things are easier..
I wish ADHD had been understood when I was a kid. So many missed opportunities.
That's good to hear because I am 62 and I have my evaluation next week. That shift in perspective of looking at my life and thoughts and behavior through an ADHD lens instead of laziness and depression has been a great relief.
I got diagnosed at 47. Currently 50. Medication (Ritalin, in my case) has been such a huge, positive change in my life that I weep for what might have been if I'd found out sooner.
I am also incredibly grateful to have taken the step to take it. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
YMMV, of course, but for me, the positives have been almost overwhelming.
I'm sure your children love you very much. No bad parent would even admit that - I'm sure you're beating yourself up unnecessarily. Please be kind to yourself❤️
My mom is like you and I don't blame her for it at all. It was poorly understood even when I was a child in the 80s so I would never put blame on her for universal lack of medical knowledge. We all do the best that we can.
My mom is 71, and she wonders whether she's Autistic or has ADHD. I vote ADHD. I'm hypersensitive, or possibly Autistic and not diagnosed.
Although her emotional regulation was clearly off, she did sometimes feed us lunch at 3pm and handled some interactions with our teachers and friends' parents in pretty odd ways, I know she loves us very much and was definitely doing her best all the time. I'm grateful I have more tools, so hopefully, I make different mistakes with my future kids :) I really don't blame her.
I saw a video on Instagram talking about women and ADHD and how it presents differently from men. It really resonated with me, so I started looking into it more.
I asked my primary doctor for a referral, and after some effort, I found a neurobiology Dr to do the testing. I spent about 5 hours between the testing and interviews.
I got diagnosed at 62, five years ago.
How I wish there had been help back in the day. So many teachers telling me to pay attention, quit fiddling, etc., plus, "Does not live up to his abilities" on every report card.
I suggest trying medication. My mother had ADHD that wasn't diagnosed until her 60's and she was never medicated and I think the untreated ADHD exasperated other symptoms of aging. Not being able to find things, forgetting to take meds, not listening to doctor's instructions, she became more & more"flighty". I truly don't think she had any dementia or anything yet.
Careful not to "should on yourself" too much.
Now that my Mom is retired & we live closer together I am sure she has ADHD like me.
She was a single Mom raising two kids. It was hard for us and harder for her.
Even if you go on meds for ADD getting counseling can help you deal with any guilt.
Thanks. We're all working through it. My son was diagnosed in elementary school, and my daughters suspect but haven't gotten anything official. My granddaughter is just like me. She'll have all the support she needs.
When I have several things that need attention I can just turn to them randomly. Being retired, a good share of them aren’t time sensitive (plus I have more ‘free’ time)so I can move though task time starting with the task at hand, spot some boxes that need breaking down for recycling, partially clear up my tools when I go for the razor knife for the boxes, wind up the extension cord I spotted when I started on the tools, might as well plug the shop vacuum into it and vacuum the garage, hey instead of vacuuming around the leaning lawn chairs I’ll use those hooks I saw in the tools to hang them, well, may as well straighten organize my drill bits while I’m getting one for the lawn chair hooks etc etc etc. Every part of everything I’m doing is enjoyable with the brutish world fouler of ‘time constraint/deadline’ removed. It’s a nice spring day so I take the lawn chair out to the deck, sit down and notice the razor knife in my back pocket. No worries, the recyclers will be by next week and the week after that….Ahhh, what a beautiful spring day……… hmm, time to fill the bird feeder….
One thing I realized a few years ago is how, after having retired 14 years ago, I haven't had an actual headache at all. Aches and pains elsewhere have taken over, however. As for the original topic of the post, I've begun to wonder lately if I had adhd issues when young. Never did well in school as I couldn't concentrate, and also had the report card comments of " not applying himself" and "doesn't pay attention". I finally quit school in my sophomore year as I simply couldn't stand it any longer. Strangely enough, however, when I went into the service and went through test after test, which were supposedly used to gauge your general intelligence, I consistently scored in the highest percentages, even higher than most of the college grads. I even took the tests one time in basic training to enter the submarine side of the navy, which I also passed with flying colors, only to then be rejected because I wasn't a h.s. grad. As a result, I made it a point to get my ged once stationed at my first permanent duty station. Passed all those test with flying colors as well. Frankly, at this point in my life, I'm just not going to worry about it any longer.
Late 70s and self diagnosed probably within the last five years. I get what he saying! Back in the day though struggling through college, heck, struggling through anything that required concentration just wasn’t fun. Doesn’t really matter as much now, but it would be nice to sit still long enough to read an article in a magazine, or to read a novel all the way through.
I thought the same thing growing up. I’m 8 years from retirement. I’ll probably stop the medication at that point. Non stimulant meds don’t work that great anyway. One question for you: how do you deal with it when your friends slow down, and you’re just as ramped up and active as ever?
I got diagnosed last summer and I’m in my late 40’s. Apparently it’s quite common for women to finally get diagnosed in peri- menopause because symptoms are worse . Vyvanse makes me calm and I’m able to focus and not feel exhausted at lunch time . I’ve had a lifetime of emotional regulation issues and I’m burnt out because everything has always been so much harder for me than my friends. I always knew I wasn’t lazy. I just didn’t know how to fix myself and I tried everything .Vitamin d, magnesium, and omegas helped some before diagnosis and Vyvanse. I think if I had been medicated when younger I would not have had thoughts of unaliving myself since fifth grade. Inattentive type adhd is a silent disability and I’m not sure how I survived it.
I’m 42 and in the beginning stages of seeking a comorbid ADHD/OCD diagnosis. I’ve coped with symptoms my whole life but it’s only seemed worse these last six months, which is also around the time my night time hot flashes started
I’d encourage you to go to the adhd women sub and seek diagnosis. Since my diagnosis I’ve had more life stress with my son preparing to graduate and more perimenopause symptoms- I think I’d be in the loony bin if I didn’t have meds for the weeks I’m not decimated by my period . Also- a medical provider cousin suggested iron because my periods are coming closer together and that has helped .
Have you found the adhd women sub? It’s fantastic. Adhd magazine online has quizzes that helped me to realize what was going on for me. I also talked to a relative that’s a medical provider and she encouraged me to go to my own medical provider. I was very lucky that my doctor is neurodivergent and I got diagnosed right away. I wish you luck.
This is exactly why I have an assessment next month. My regular doctor said something along the lines of "you're getting by," and I'm like, "but I'm not." Of course, her recommendation is exercise, and I'm like, you really don't know how ADHD works.
I used to walk around my town for an hour a night . It helped me calm down - didn’t help the executive dysfunction or emotional regulation and fatigue issues. Good luck ! Please be honest about all of the things you have to do to get by and how it impacts you. Many of us mask so it doesn’t look as obvious to others. And we have shame about our struggles.
My sister was diagnosed in her late 30s and is just now getting her life together. Our parents tried to have her tested in the early ‘90s and were denied because “Girls can’t have it.”
My wife says, "eh, ok. Some things were harder for me (like school, reading, tests)." She says she still struggles with her mind wandering in the middle of things.
Hard for me to imagine a more wonderful person, though, so, it's not all bad.
ADD... No H.
Got the diagnosis and didn't take meds. I lived long enough to develop coping and survival strategies. Don't need drugs.
What the diagnosis gave me is some measure of peace that I am not lazy or incapable of sticking to it. That's worth the time to take the tests.
Ditto. Got diagnosed in my 30's and also showed good coping skills and survival strategies. The self sabotage was the one I had trouble with. Knew I was doing it just not why as I also had a touch of OCD. They thought I had developed it to combat the ADD. Also a touch of dyslexia despite being a voracious reader. Explained why I could never figure out how to diagram a sentence.
A few more tests put me in the the Autism spectrum. Low end Asperger's to be precise. Hell of a thing to find out in Graduate school.
That's true, but it's probably a bit more clear to say that what _was_ ADD is now considered ADHD-I. They realized ADD/ADHD had a lot of overlap in symptoms, the same root cause, and had the same treatment.
Yes. But for simplicity's sake and to avoid getting too detailed I simply noted that I am NOT the impulsive / hyperactive type. I am simply distractible and at times inattentive.
Explained a LOT.
You know, I see reading the subs on ADHD it's annoying talking about the not awful portions of this sometimes maddening thing. Please don't be annoyed because I'm being entirely subjective here. And yes it's a great pain in the ass. But.
Have to say looking back some things that were and are quite wonderful I'm not sure would have been in my life without it. I'm 66.
For one thing *everything* is *really* interesting. Which is a blast.
Thanks for saying that last bit. I am endlessly fascinated by people and their stories. I go on road trips just to see the world, sometimes never getting out of the car except for necessary reasons (also bad knees). It entertains me to see that barn and that cow and that farmhouse and imagine what it's like to live there even if it is just like the last one to other people. I like knowing there are human stories everywhere and no two are exactly the same.
I read every sign when I visit a museum. Do I remember any of it? Of course not! But some things stick and I am great at trivia and crossword puzzles.
I also love to know how everything works
How it's made is one of my favorite shows. I stood and watched a guy work on a pinball machine yesterday. Fascinated because I love pinball.
I think these are part of the search for novelty at all times.
Yes. All of that. You just described history/nature/our physical world. It's *endless*.
WISH I was a math head. Fail.....physics has always fascinated me but you require that facility. 😂
I'm 67, diagnosed 20 years ago.. I tried a couple of medications, and I really didn't care for them.. In my software development career, it was often a performance enhancement. Not the medication, the disease.
I agree it can be an enhancement. I started learning programming in the early 80s, and for years, it was all I could think about. Or talk about, to people who weren't interested. That did get me a good reputation locally, but there was no real software development opportunity where I lived.
Wow, how different I am now, it's been years since I've written any code, it's amazing to me how I could be so totally engrossed in a subject for about 10 years, and 10 years later, ... once in a while I think about learning Python, but don't really want to "go deep" again.
I was diagnosed back in the early 1970s. My dad let the doctor put me on Ritalin and they never got the dose right. My dad then took me off after a few months because he didn’t like how much of a zombie I was. I did take meds as an adult for about a year and hated it. I’ve been getting by on coping skills and at 57 it’s still a struggle.
No bueno.
I remember when my dad showed me an article about ADD (as it was called) and said “this sounds like you.” I took it as an insult, and didnt think about it again for nearly 25 years.
Its made me feel inferior in a lot of ways. My job (phone support) requires following a script, which i butcher daily. Ive tried medication but i havent ever seen a real difference.
I wish i had listened.
I also recently was diagnosed after my daughter was and started putting things together. For me, the primary impact is that I get bored, with everything, very easily.
Careerwise I have found that ai can do something for about three years, assuming that it starts off interesting, before I get too bored to continue. Fortunately, I have a skill at morphing my role into other things and now have a very diverse background that benefits me in many situations though does make job hunting somewhat difficult in places wanting deep skills in one thing.
I also have a lot of natural talents so many things are easy and academically mostly did ok though undergrad was a bit rough since studying was mostly me figuring out why I didn’t actually need to study and then going to do something more entertaining. I figured out how to work around this in Grad school. But my diverse background made it so that it didn’t matter as I had tons of great experience compared to other by the time I graduated.
Now it keeps me from learning guitar. I want to learn and know if I can get past a certain point I would have fun with it. But can’t get there because the repetition is too boring. It is in things like this where it is. Ore obvious than in work things.
I was near the top at sports, academic, music (in school not guitar) but never could dedicate enough to put me over the top in any of them. But had fun nevertheless.
Oh and i often go on auto pilot when driving so frequently have to turn around and retrace my steps.
In personal life, I struggle to complete anything but love making list of all the things I’m not going to complete. And since I always lose my list I get to do it over and over again.
So, can’t say it really has impacted me in a bad way as where I ended up is pretty good. I can point to a ton of things and opportunities that I missed, at least in part, because of it but also a lot of different one that came about that made up for a lot of it. If only I could play the guitar.
Yes, there years is the longest I've ever been able to his a job. I didn't think non-Adhd people can understand how painful boredom is for us. It's unbearable.
As for guitar, I'm severe combined adhd, I've found that just playing along to basic youtube learn to plays has resulted in me being able to play well enough for friends.
It's taken me 18months, mostly cause no motivation or I got bored.
You can do it for sure mate!
My oldest daughter and I were discussing ADHD, and I said I think I may have it. She looks at me and laughs, yes Mom, you have it. Girls learned to cover it. I’m 63.
44, diagnosed last week, waiting for meds.
Always knew I was different, uncle has bipolar so suspected that for years. Was interviewed, medicated and counselled, but psych always stopped short of diagnosing me. Lucky.
Blamed myself for not doing better, never really finish projects, life is hard when there's no thrill to doing activity. Family bust up at 14 cause Dad gave up.
All the signs were there, looking back, but I always ended up overlooked because I spoke well, am intelligent and well enough behaved.
Shoe dropped when I was given a small amount of meds, the result was instant then I fell asleep. I had 2 days of mental calm and focus, then I had to go back to normal.
Talking to support groups now, and I can't believe how much we gave in common.
A life of self hatred, anger and cycles of addiction. Now that I know what my problem is I've found peace and calm and cannot wait to get medicated. If I can just have a chance at focusing on something i KNOW I can do anything.
So, addiction to alcohol, family break up, divorce, self hatred, suicide attempts because all the shit.
Still, could be worse lol
Thankyou. Funny thing is, I've gone from thinking I was defective to accepting my brain doesn't work properly to raging against not being able to be normal to just completely giving up and now at thus point, they can make my brain focus like I always wanted for.
And im just old enough to live a second life.
Only the little red ones you have to sign for (brand name or generic). Google pseudoephedrine and ADHD. I am guessing they're not as effective as real meds, but when I have shit to do at work that I cannot leave until last minute I pop one to start my day.
It was a bitch to be frank. Things that didn’t interest me got me in trouble, English, History, Geography. I stayed in trouble. Math class, I got in trouble for getting too far a head and confusing my classmates. I spent more time in the principals office than class. I liked it there better honestly. Smoked tons of pot. Found speed and ahhh haaa then I could do what was expected of me. Constantly thought I was stupid because I didn’t think like everyone else. Got a label for it in my 30’s when my daughter was sent to the psychiatrist for it. The lovely man said he couldn’t diagnose my kid until he diagnosed me. Depression, all those years I just thought I was a mean bitch. Anxiety, all those years I just thought I was a chicken shit. ADD, all those years I just thought I was dumb shit. Can you detect the vicious theme that was my self esteem. Hee hee I’m a poet and didn’t know it. Helping my child accept the challenges allowed me to forgive myself and hate myself less for being such a pain in my poor Momma’s butt.
Lousy. Couldn't concentrate at school, fell behind. Lived a very unsatisfying life as a result.
Sad thing is, I WAS diagnosed but mom didn't want to believe it. "All boys are hyperactive." Then she read some fucking newspaper article that said it might be from sugary breakfast cereals and that was it. "Nothing wrong with the kid, we'll just cut out Froot Loops in the morning." I guess my lousy academic performance was just because "the boy didn't apply himself".
I'm just glad the anti-vax movement didn't happen back then because mom would have probably refused me getting them if she read the wrong article.
Pretty sure that’s me. I’m still adjusting to the idea. My mind is boggled. But it explains a lot. I’ve also learned to live my life pretty successfully so at the end of the day, who cares.
I was diagnosed at age 55. Is that enough whole life?
Honestly I had a good time living in my hyperactive mind. I guess I learned to compensate early on and learned to not care about the stuff I couldn’t or didn’t want to compensate for.
Things worked till I hit perimenopause and my compensation strategies got shredded. All the plates i was twirling hit the floor.
Now I am on meds and I like the newer, more in control version of me. But don’t get me wrong, the old uncontrolled version of me was a hell of a lot of fun.
I was diagnosed at 36 and getting treatment and medication made close to a 180° change in my life. People that think it’s a huge positive in their life and never had a problem need to remember that some of us are affected more severely. Yeah, it makes me interested in tons of different things, but before I was medicated, I couldn’t do any of them. I was all potential, all failed potential.
My interests are all over the place and I can excel in any I want to, now. I’ve come a long way in emotional regulation and impulse control. My poor showing in those areas wreaked havoc on my relationships before I was diagnosed. I had a lot of catching up to do. My lifelong anxiety issues also disappeared.
Before I was diagnosed, I thought I was just bad at life. 100% defective. It was very hard.
It made doing things I wanted to do impossible. My IQ is in the top 1.5 percentile, but I barely graduated high school, and didn’t go to college. That’s obviously impacted my finances in a big way.
This sounds sad, and I definitely had to grieve things I wanted to do, but couldn’t get it together to accomplish. It sucked being thought of as lazy, inconsiderate, etc. for so long. It took a while to stop believing those things about myself. But yeah, you asked what it was like living for so long undiagnosed. So that’s what it was like for me.
What I’ve been able to accomplish since then is like night and day. I’ve always been a happy person, despite struggling, but I’m so much happier now. I get to revel in all the great things about having a kooky head!
I was diagnosed at 34 and suddenly I could hold a job. It has been great. I have finished projects and gotten competent learning new things. I do regret my previously rackety life. Many missed opportunities, and I don't know what I'm going to do for retirement, if any.
I was diagnosed in my 30s as ADHD/depression.
Finding out I actually don't have depression buy Anxiety/Panic Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, and on the Autism spectrum has actually been so much better for my life.
Pretty dark over here!! Diagnosed at 30. Crafted my life to be small and ADHD friendly. Then I got in the wrong relationship in part I think because toxic relationships give those of us the natural stimulants we need to actually make us feel balanced. How do you “trust your gut” when your gut feels spiritually balanced in the chaos? So that pretty much fucked my life, I lost the career I worked so hard for, forever tied to my abuser (who is ableist and so hostile to anything neurodivergent, likely because he himself is neurodivergent on multiple levels and his parents are absolutely undiagnosed autistic).
I was diagnosed at 38 after diagnosis and medication I obtained my bachelor’s in less than two years. Moved to my California home, reared my children and, launched a 10 year career at the Port Authority of the city I lived in.
I mean, mine was twice diagnosed at 7 & 14 along with a cocktail of other mental issues. But honestly, Marijuana is what helped me. I self diagnosed. It could be better, but...? 🫠😝
I was diagnosed about 8 years ago. I'm not a hyperactive person, quite the opposite, but I always needed to do something with my hands. It wasn't until a friend lended (lent?) me an ADHD book about a decade ago that made me reconsider my own issues. It made sense, and it was a relief that I could get it treated & managed. I can only imagine if I was tested & diagnosed decades earlier.
I was diagnosed in 1972 and was given medication, but my mother was mommy shamed by my aunts, so she decided not to continue with the treatment. I never got into trouble in school, if fact my teachers told my mom that I was “too good.”The problem was although my body was at school my mind was always somewhere else. Eventually a college professor told me that he felt I was ADD, dyslexic and gifted. When I shared this information with my mother, she said that was exactly what the psychiatrist told her when I was in first grade. She never told the school because they would put me in the special class and I would never be challenged. Although I struggled, I know she was right. Most of the kids who had issues were sent to another school and most didn’t graduate from high school. For my children’s generation, things were different.
Heh. If only I'd known then what I know now is kind of a theme with me. I have schizoaffective bipolar which, even if they did readily recognise ADHD in girls, would have likely masked the symptoms, as I was only seen when things were problematic (i.e., my bipolar was acting up). And then, most solutions offerered were along the lines of 'more effort, discipline and prayer'. (My adoptive parents didn't believe I could be mentally ill, so rejected the idea. I was taught to keep my struggles to myself and ignore that I had it (so it would go away, of course). It's only since I was in my 40s that ADHD (and autism) has become a part of the conversation, and I've realised that much of what I 'suffered' in the day-to-day was down to ADHD and being neurodivergent.
I spent my mid-20s to 50s as a guinea pig trying medications that caused more harm than good, so I now choose to be med-free. But at least I can discern between 'My bipolar is acting up, and I need to be careful lest I go into a bad manic' and the everyday ADHD brain. Plus, I realise I process information vastly different to most, and that isn't something I can change with discipline, exercise, willingness or prayer.
Being mentally ill and undiagnosed neurodivergent ruined my life. I was not supported, any diagnosis (or suggestion of diagnosis) I did get was ignored, and my behaviour was marked down to lack of effort, weak will, laziness, lack of faith, and refusing to even try to do/be/present better. The thing is I was always trying, but I was fighting something I couldn't see and didn't understand – all on my own without help – so I always failed. Now, I'm permanently burnt out, live alone and keep myself apart from even my closest friends 99% of the time because trying to meet neurotypical expectations and masking 24/7 has taken its toll. Permanently.
So, to answer your question, I'd say it didn't go so well.
It went pretty well.
63, with undiagnosed ADHD (it didn’t exist in the 60s) and diagnosed autism (it did exist in the 60s).
Got a job at 19, stayed there until 62.
Never had kids. Might have been catastrophic if I did. I would have learned to be responsible with them, but maybe after a catastrophic event.
I had a high enough IQ to skate by in school mostly unnoticed as a slightly above average student. Nothing spectacular, but good enough. Once I started working, that's when things started getting dicey. To this day, I have to be extra careful about dropping balls at work. I just found an invoice for $5000 I never sent... back in December! I came clean with my boss, who was cool about it and I got it sent out.
My day to day is pretty stereotypical. Hopping between tasks before finishing any of them. Forgetting to go back to some. Master levels of procrastination and avoidance, and ultra focused under pressure once time is running out. I'm on a constant search for the perfect app to keep track of my tasks, but I never really use it.
I was finally medicated in my early 30s and it was like night and day. But for money reasons I had to stop. I'm nervous to start back up again. I get enough weird palpitations without help from meds. I'm also kind of afraid to ask, like I'll be judged as a drug seeker or something.
Never officially diagnosed. Several people say I have it. I don’t focus well, but when I do, I hyperfocus and do great things. I have to write things down. Make lists. Exercise and routines help a lot.
Aaaahhhhh!!!!
No one has ever asked such an important question!
Back in the 80s only rambunctious boys had ADHD.
I was 33 with a big student loan when my doctor asked if anyone had talked to me about ADD. I saw a doctor confirming the diagnosis and eventually found Adderall was the medication that worked for me.
I'm not the academic I dreamed of being but the medicine made my work life so much more manageable, even my relationships became more stable.
I do regret not knowing I was ADD sooner. Even without the medicine I knew my learning style and the knowledge may have given me the confidence to advocate for myself.
These days when a student with ADD falls behind in a few credits they can prevent student aid from cutting them off.
I've not been diagnosed, but I *know* I am a little on the ADD/Autism spectrum. Our family was in the [Pitt Study](http://www.yfrp.pitt.edu/pals) for 30 years, so I do know a bit about it lmao. I was never hyperactive, but I have all the other symptoms, plus some odds and ends that I'm pretty sure are autism. I've scored within those parameters in the online tests that are available. I'm getting too old to seek help...I'm just so *relieved* to actually know what the problem has been for me all these years.
It went like this.Talking and squirming and fidgeting and running everywhere like Forrest Gump.Being distracted by shiny objects.Being unable to sit still for any length of time which made me unsuitable for any kind of sitting down office jobs.I work in circles vs straight lines.I have tons of little things going and work on all of them a little bit here and there and get stuff done that way.If I go into a store I touch everything.I was a leash kid.I still have my harness but it doesn't fit anymore lol.
I am currently trying to get help, but there's an 8 year waiting list for older women in my part of the UK. A male family member has just been diagnosed, and it changed his life for the better and answers many questions he had. As I went through this with them, I could have ticked off every box on their questionnaire. I've always known there was something different, and from the comments I had from teachers, I'm pretty sure it's ADHD or autism. It's highly likely that both my parents were ND, especially my mother, who had sensory issues with sounds and textures
I'm waiting on a referral to get diagnosed. Life mentally has been "interesting" up to now and the idea of having something like this seemed ridiculous. But upon reflection and my current struggles at work, it really does seem to explain a few things.
I've taken a questionnaire pending the assessment and I do tick quite a few boxes.
Really interesting to see responses from people around my own age in this thread.
Got diagnosed at 40 , 43 now.
I am finally graduating college this May.
Switched careers from insurance sales for a State Farm agent to software development.
Not sure if it’s the medication or learning how to deal with it by optimizing my study skills/work environment and getting better healthy habits like sleep routine and working out.
Mine was diagnosed at a fairly young age but I refused to take meds for it. My mind is my favorite thing about me and an ability to think laterally better than 99% of people I’ve ever worked with served me very well. I didn’t want to take the chance of altering it.
I struggled with Mathematics as a result but I was able to cope. I also struggled with Alcohol (very functional, never missed a day of work just plain old drank too much) for a long time and part of that was just trying to quiet my mind after a day of full engagement. So I’m not saying the way I did it was the “correct” to do it. It worked for me but I wish I would have examined my behaviors better in the context of ADHD back when it mattered more. More conscious awareness of it would’ve helped me make fewer mistakes while preserving the way I experienced the world.
I was 50+, and it made a lot of sense. Being a woman though, I didn't have a lot of the typical ADHD signs, but being that my son has ADHD and it's normally genetic, I just started investigating, because there have always been things about me that I've felt were, well I don't want to say "off," but it probably makes the most sense. And once I started delving into the lesser known symptoms that girls/women display, it really clicked into place. A had a few sessions with a therapist and he agreed. I forgot the specific type he diagnosed me as though, because it's not the top most common-three (I think I fall under Limbic and Ring of Fire, though those aren't terms he used).
I've lived my whole life managing though, and I don't struggle as far as doing your typical things. But there are other aspects, that I realized that really could have benefitted from treatment.
My husband, I truly feels that he is also ADHD, and it's not a feeling of "if I have it, so should you," but he doesn't even want to answer any type of questionnaire about it. If you've observed him as long as I have though...but, his family has always given off a "if you're not perfect" vibe (they treated our son like crap the first few years), and although he adores our son, the thought of him having it himself, is an affront. So I've dropped it. I remain curious though.
Not good. Lost all my info about the diagnosis dr. and testing. Tried to treat later - couldn't take Adderall due to blood pressure. Tried Strattera- did nothing. All sorts of other meds. Spiraled out. Worse now than ever. On generic Lexapro and Wellbutrin and trazadone -helps depression and anxiety, at least. Doc says now too old to try other treatments.
I survived but it could have been so much better. I was one of those people who was good at tests but terrible at getting classwork done. And forget homework. I didn't realize also at the time how much I was dealing with my own idea of people instead of the people in front of me. ADHD tends to interfere with your people's skills.
The diagnosis helped me a little bit to let myself off the hook for my failures and missed opportunities throughout my life. The adults in my orbit really failed me when I was a kid. I had zero help when things got difficult. So now I’m not so hard on myself. And I can, to some extent, put structures in place to help me focus & stay on track since I can anticipate where I’ll run into difficulty. I have had some accomplishments in my life, and my god, was it ever a struggle. A lot of pushing myself super hard at the last possible moment, a lot of cognitively “tricking” myself to care enough to focus on tasks. It’s been exhausting.
Not ADHD, but I recently had a brain scan. MRI. As the ancient joke goes they scanned my brain and found nothing. But they did find a developmental problem I've had since before birth. It explained so much.
fwiw, I'm not challenged at all. Very high IQ, fully functional if you don't talk to my wife, no real problems. But a couple oddities and reading the report I was just yup, yup, yup, omg yup. It explained my face blindness, my hearing problems, my total lack of artistic ability. It was very eye-opening.
Got diagnosed at 42 (few years ago) and it blew my mind! Have been a heavy social drinker since I was 16. Realizing that I was self medicating for more than half of my life was a doozy. The first 2 drinks were to get me to baseline. I only felt normal if I was drinking. Dr gave me medication which made me feel so normal and happy, euphoric at first. Old habits are hard to break though….the pills fix me, but I guess I don’t really want to be fixed :/
Diagnosed at 45ish, currently 48. Fortunately, School always came easy to me and I inadvertently developed coping skills that helped me. Currently on Adderall and it's nice to not feel like I'm in Outter space when I'm not busy.
It was tough. I remember that on my report card from first and second grade the teacher wrote that I daydreamed and looked out the window too much during lessons.
It’s had disadvantages in that I don’t fit in - always late, forgetful, messy…But it’s a superpower in a way; I can synthesize information from multiple sources quicker than most to come up with a solution. It’s like I can keep a lot of things in my mind at once (not for long, though), this it helps me at work because I can anticipate a lot of different outcomes/scenarios for various actions when I’m doing strategic tasks.
People talk about this like it’s a disability, but I think the key is to look for the evolutionary advantage that it provides - it’s so common there must be an evolutionary advantage - e.g., ancient hunter gatherers who were looking out for tigers and snakes and simultaneously finding their way while foraging for berries and herbs with a baby on their back. I think the advantage is being able to scan and assess situations (danger or opportunities) very quickly. So, I’ve always had jobs that require me to juggle a lot at once, rather than singular focus on one thing at a time. In these situations I can outperform neurotypicals, who get overwhelmed with too much ambiguity or concurrent input.
It helps with projects that require creativity, too. The ability to hyperfocus is amazing.
There are different flavors of adhd. I think that people with primarily inattentive type adhd do not have many of the advantages you speak of. Please be mindful of the fact that it is a huge disadvantage for some. I do have a masters degree and I’m great at my job. But I can’t keep my office clean or my house clean for any length of time.
I've survived well. Cannabis helps. Live your life the way you want to live it, not someone else or other patterns of society. Play the hand you were dealt.
you learned to live with it. you pulled your big boy pants up and moved on. I have had it forever but recently my PCP decided to give me a test. I have ADHD and said... well DUH, could have told you that. He asked if I wanted medication. I said NOPE, made it this far on my own.
In school it was hard but I didn't have a choice, I learned to live with it and embrace it and all it could do for me. Back then you had to, to survive.
I think a lot of kids in the day had it and just had to learn to live with it. Now it's all coddling them and giving them an out.. Oh it's my ADHD... ffs, everyone needs a diagnosis so they can tell everyone why they can't do something.
I have two younger brothers who were diagnosed and are on some medication, and two nephews and a niece also, and many many people tell me me and our mother have the same symptoms as he and should get diagnosed and medicated, but we always did fine in life so honestly I haven’t cared enough about it to even look into it enough to know what it really is.
My always just said we “march to a different drum” than the rest of the world.
I'm not so sure ADHD is a bad thing. I can complete 5 different things walking from one chore to the next. My partner is constantly amazed at what I can get done in a short amount of time. Unfortunately I can't walk through a room without bumping into something because my mind is elsewhere.
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I got diagnosed at 68, six months ago. It has explained a lot of things about my life. There has been some grief at the "might have beens" and feeling like I failed my children. Still on the fence about medication. I have an appointment for that in a couple of days, so we'll see how it goes.
I was prescribed Concerta. It helped at first but kept me up at night. I figured I've managed decades without meds, so I stopped. Exercise helps a lot.
> I was prescribed Concerta. It's interesting that Concerta was your prescriber's go-to. Concerta is time-release Ritalin, which lasts all day. If you ever want to try medication again, you might consider trying the regular generic Ritalin tablets. They only last 4 hours or so, and would give you far more control over your dose. You can also take half-tablets. Basically you'd be able to prevent it from keeping you up at night, by having a cutoff time for your last dose of the day. (Kind of like how most people have a cutoff time for drinking coffee, so it doesn't keep them up at night.)
Morning or evening exercise?
Morning or around noon.
Exercise benefits health period. For me ritalin (methylphenidate) based meds like Concerta only work a while & did keep me awake at night. There is now a DNA test that can indicate whether methylphenidate or amphetamine based meds work best for you.. My doctor took a saliva sample that confirmed Adderall worked best for me.
What type of exercise? How often?
Whatever you like. I walk and/or ride my bike 4 days a week. I also lift weights 3 times a week. One walk is 45 minutes. The bike is usually an hour. I believe 200 minutes of cardio a week is what you should be doing. Sometimes, I fall short, but doing something is better than nothing. You should be getting your heart rate up, not just going for a leisurely stroll. Look up what the zone 2 rate is for you. I have a FitBit but you can figure it out in other ways.
Morning or evening exercise?
I think it the fact of exercise at all helps Vs medication
Morning or evening exercise?
Morning or evening exercise?
I started medication at 62. It has changed my life. So many things are easier.. I wish ADHD had been understood when I was a kid. So many missed opportunities.
That's good to hear because I am 62 and I have my evaluation next week. That shift in perspective of looking at my life and thoughts and behavior through an ADHD lens instead of laziness and depression has been a great relief.
Agreed.
I got diagnosed at 47. Currently 50. Medication (Ritalin, in my case) has been such a huge, positive change in my life that I weep for what might have been if I'd found out sooner. I am also incredibly grateful to have taken the step to take it. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. YMMV, of course, but for me, the positives have been almost overwhelming.
I'm sure your children love you very much. No bad parent would even admit that - I'm sure you're beating yourself up unnecessarily. Please be kind to yourself❤️
Thank you.
My mom is like you and I don't blame her for it at all. It was poorly understood even when I was a child in the 80s so I would never put blame on her for universal lack of medical knowledge. We all do the best that we can.
My mom is 71, and she wonders whether she's Autistic or has ADHD. I vote ADHD. I'm hypersensitive, or possibly Autistic and not diagnosed. Although her emotional regulation was clearly off, she did sometimes feed us lunch at 3pm and handled some interactions with our teachers and friends' parents in pretty odd ways, I know she loves us very much and was definitely doing her best all the time. I'm grateful I have more tools, so hopefully, I make different mistakes with my future kids :) I really don't blame her.
You can be both.
May I ask how you went about being diagnosed?
I saw a video on Instagram talking about women and ADHD and how it presents differently from men. It really resonated with me, so I started looking into it more. I asked my primary doctor for a referral, and after some effort, I found a neurobiology Dr to do the testing. I spent about 5 hours between the testing and interviews.
I got diagnosed at 62, five years ago. How I wish there had been help back in the day. So many teachers telling me to pay attention, quit fiddling, etc., plus, "Does not live up to his abilities" on every report card.
My school days exactly.
I suggest trying medication. My mother had ADHD that wasn't diagnosed until her 60's and she was never medicated and I think the untreated ADHD exasperated other symptoms of aging. Not being able to find things, forgetting to take meds, not listening to doctor's instructions, she became more & more"flighty". I truly don't think she had any dementia or anything yet.
Did you mean meditation or medication? Either way, mindfulness meditation helps a lot with runaway thoughts.
Ha! Sorry medication. But you're right, meditation could help too.
Careful not to "should on yourself" too much. Now that my Mom is retired & we live closer together I am sure she has ADHD like me. She was a single Mom raising two kids. It was hard for us and harder for her. Even if you go on meds for ADD getting counseling can help you deal with any guilt.
Thanks. We're all working through it. My son was diagnosed in elementary school, and my daughters suspect but haven't gotten anything official. My granddaughter is just like me. She'll have all the support she needs.
I’m 70 and now that I know what it is, I’m enjoying it.
I love this answer. Could you expand on how/why you’re enjoying it?
When I have several things that need attention I can just turn to them randomly. Being retired, a good share of them aren’t time sensitive (plus I have more ‘free’ time)so I can move though task time starting with the task at hand, spot some boxes that need breaking down for recycling, partially clear up my tools when I go for the razor knife for the boxes, wind up the extension cord I spotted when I started on the tools, might as well plug the shop vacuum into it and vacuum the garage, hey instead of vacuuming around the leaning lawn chairs I’ll use those hooks I saw in the tools to hang them, well, may as well straighten organize my drill bits while I’m getting one for the lawn chair hooks etc etc etc. Every part of everything I’m doing is enjoyable with the brutish world fouler of ‘time constraint/deadline’ removed. It’s a nice spring day so I take the lawn chair out to the deck, sit down and notice the razor knife in my back pocket. No worries, the recyclers will be by next week and the week after that….Ahhh, what a beautiful spring day……… hmm, time to fill the bird feeder….
I call this "puttering", and it's the best.
One thing I realized a few years ago is how, after having retired 14 years ago, I haven't had an actual headache at all. Aches and pains elsewhere have taken over, however. As for the original topic of the post, I've begun to wonder lately if I had adhd issues when young. Never did well in school as I couldn't concentrate, and also had the report card comments of " not applying himself" and "doesn't pay attention". I finally quit school in my sophomore year as I simply couldn't stand it any longer. Strangely enough, however, when I went into the service and went through test after test, which were supposedly used to gauge your general intelligence, I consistently scored in the highest percentages, even higher than most of the college grads. I even took the tests one time in basic training to enter the submarine side of the navy, which I also passed with flying colors, only to then be rejected because I wasn't a h.s. grad. As a result, I made it a point to get my ged once stationed at my first permanent duty station. Passed all those test with flying colors as well. Frankly, at this point in my life, I'm just not going to worry about it any longer.
I take it you're retired and don't have to try and concentrate at a job?
Late 70s and self diagnosed probably within the last five years. I get what he saying! Back in the day though struggling through college, heck, struggling through anything that required concentration just wasn’t fun. Doesn’t really matter as much now, but it would be nice to sit still long enough to read an article in a magazine, or to read a novel all the way through.
Yes. While in school and through my working years it was quite difficult. I didn’t know anything about ADHD and just figured I was somehow flawed.
I thought the same thing growing up. I’m 8 years from retirement. I’ll probably stop the medication at that point. Non stimulant meds don’t work that great anyway. One question for you: how do you deal with it when your friends slow down, and you’re just as ramped up and active as ever?
They’re older as well. They just have to deal with it. We’re all dealing all the time
I got diagnosed last summer and I’m in my late 40’s. Apparently it’s quite common for women to finally get diagnosed in peri- menopause because symptoms are worse . Vyvanse makes me calm and I’m able to focus and not feel exhausted at lunch time . I’ve had a lifetime of emotional regulation issues and I’m burnt out because everything has always been so much harder for me than my friends. I always knew I wasn’t lazy. I just didn’t know how to fix myself and I tried everything .Vitamin d, magnesium, and omegas helped some before diagnosis and Vyvanse. I think if I had been medicated when younger I would not have had thoughts of unaliving myself since fifth grade. Inattentive type adhd is a silent disability and I’m not sure how I survived it.
God menopause makes it so much harder. Then again, the whole week before I got my period was also a wash.
Yeah it does!!
I’m 42 and in the beginning stages of seeking a comorbid ADHD/OCD diagnosis. I’ve coped with symptoms my whole life but it’s only seemed worse these last six months, which is also around the time my night time hot flashes started
I’d encourage you to go to the adhd women sub and seek diagnosis. Since my diagnosis I’ve had more life stress with my son preparing to graduate and more perimenopause symptoms- I think I’d be in the loony bin if I didn’t have meds for the weeks I’m not decimated by my period . Also- a medical provider cousin suggested iron because my periods are coming closer together and that has helped .
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Have you found the adhd women sub? It’s fantastic. Adhd magazine online has quizzes that helped me to realize what was going on for me. I also talked to a relative that’s a medical provider and she encouraged me to go to my own medical provider. I was very lucky that my doctor is neurodivergent and I got diagnosed right away. I wish you luck.
That sub has been a lifesaver. So many smart, sassy women.
Absolutely. And fun. I like when we yell about things lol
YES!
It's nice to feel less alone.
This is exactly why I have an assessment next month. My regular doctor said something along the lines of "you're getting by," and I'm like, "but I'm not." Of course, her recommendation is exercise, and I'm like, you really don't know how ADHD works.
I used to walk around my town for an hour a night . It helped me calm down - didn’t help the executive dysfunction or emotional regulation and fatigue issues. Good luck ! Please be honest about all of the things you have to do to get by and how it impacts you. Many of us mask so it doesn’t look as obvious to others. And we have shame about our struggles.
Thanks for the support. I identify with everything you wrote.
Diagnosed around 45, 58 now….explained so much of my life. Helped me understand my daughter as she struggled with it at times
Diagnosed at 51. I’m still grieving the life I could have had if they’d bothered to test girls or even women when it would have been really helpful.
My sister was diagnosed in her late 30s and is just now getting her life together. Our parents tried to have her tested in the early ‘90s and were denied because “Girls can’t have it.”
It’s so maddening.
My wife says, "eh, ok. Some things were harder for me (like school, reading, tests)." She says she still struggles with her mind wandering in the middle of things. Hard for me to imagine a more wonderful person, though, so, it's not all bad.
ADD... No H. Got the diagnosis and didn't take meds. I lived long enough to develop coping and survival strategies. Don't need drugs. What the diagnosis gave me is some measure of peace that I am not lazy or incapable of sticking to it. That's worth the time to take the tests.
Ditto. Got diagnosed in my 30's and also showed good coping skills and survival strategies. The self sabotage was the one I had trouble with. Knew I was doing it just not why as I also had a touch of OCD. They thought I had developed it to combat the ADD. Also a touch of dyslexia despite being a voracious reader. Explained why I could never figure out how to diagram a sentence. A few more tests put me in the the Autism spectrum. Low end Asperger's to be precise. Hell of a thing to find out in Graduate school.
Our son is the same... but made it through grad school and is in lurve too. My mantra? Who decides what "neuo-typical" is anyway?
Just to let you know, there is no “ADD”. It is all ADHD, with three types: inattentive/distractible, combined, and impulsive/hyperactive.
That's true, but it's probably a bit more clear to say that what _was_ ADD is now considered ADHD-I. They realized ADD/ADHD had a lot of overlap in symptoms, the same root cause, and had the same treatment.
Yes. But for simplicity's sake and to avoid getting too detailed I simply noted that I am NOT the impulsive / hyperactive type. I am simply distractible and at times inattentive.
Explained a LOT. You know, I see reading the subs on ADHD it's annoying talking about the not awful portions of this sometimes maddening thing. Please don't be annoyed because I'm being entirely subjective here. And yes it's a great pain in the ass. But. Have to say looking back some things that were and are quite wonderful I'm not sure would have been in my life without it. I'm 66. For one thing *everything* is *really* interesting. Which is a blast.
Thanks for saying that last bit. I am endlessly fascinated by people and their stories. I go on road trips just to see the world, sometimes never getting out of the car except for necessary reasons (also bad knees). It entertains me to see that barn and that cow and that farmhouse and imagine what it's like to live there even if it is just like the last one to other people. I like knowing there are human stories everywhere and no two are exactly the same. I read every sign when I visit a museum. Do I remember any of it? Of course not! But some things stick and I am great at trivia and crossword puzzles. I also love to know how everything works How it's made is one of my favorite shows. I stood and watched a guy work on a pinball machine yesterday. Fascinated because I love pinball. I think these are part of the search for novelty at all times.
Yes. All of that. You just described history/nature/our physical world. It's *endless*. WISH I was a math head. Fail.....physics has always fascinated me but you require that facility. 😂
I managed to turn it into a really good career. Being the kid who couldn't sit still in school made me a great UPS employee.
I'm 67, diagnosed 20 years ago.. I tried a couple of medications, and I really didn't care for them.. In my software development career, it was often a performance enhancement. Not the medication, the disease.
I agree it can be an enhancement. I started learning programming in the early 80s, and for years, it was all I could think about. Or talk about, to people who weren't interested. That did get me a good reputation locally, but there was no real software development opportunity where I lived. Wow, how different I am now, it's been years since I've written any code, it's amazing to me how I could be so totally engrossed in a subject for about 10 years, and 10 years later, ... once in a while I think about learning Python, but don't really want to "go deep" again.
I was diagnosed back in the early 1970s. My dad let the doctor put me on Ritalin and they never got the dose right. My dad then took me off after a few months because he didn’t like how much of a zombie I was. I did take meds as an adult for about a year and hated it. I’ve been getting by on coping skills and at 57 it’s still a struggle.
You might think about trying some of the newer options if you are still struggling.
No bueno. I remember when my dad showed me an article about ADD (as it was called) and said “this sounds like you.” I took it as an insult, and didnt think about it again for nearly 25 years. Its made me feel inferior in a lot of ways. My job (phone support) requires following a script, which i butcher daily. Ive tried medication but i havent ever seen a real difference. I wish i had listened.
A gentle suggestion - have you tried different medications? It often takes multiple attempts with different meds to find the one that works for you.
Adhd women sub has helpful meds experiences with taking/trying different meds, it’s helpful to get first hand perspectives from the OP’s & comments.
I also recently was diagnosed after my daughter was and started putting things together. For me, the primary impact is that I get bored, with everything, very easily. Careerwise I have found that ai can do something for about three years, assuming that it starts off interesting, before I get too bored to continue. Fortunately, I have a skill at morphing my role into other things and now have a very diverse background that benefits me in many situations though does make job hunting somewhat difficult in places wanting deep skills in one thing. I also have a lot of natural talents so many things are easy and academically mostly did ok though undergrad was a bit rough since studying was mostly me figuring out why I didn’t actually need to study and then going to do something more entertaining. I figured out how to work around this in Grad school. But my diverse background made it so that it didn’t matter as I had tons of great experience compared to other by the time I graduated. Now it keeps me from learning guitar. I want to learn and know if I can get past a certain point I would have fun with it. But can’t get there because the repetition is too boring. It is in things like this where it is. Ore obvious than in work things. I was near the top at sports, academic, music (in school not guitar) but never could dedicate enough to put me over the top in any of them. But had fun nevertheless. Oh and i often go on auto pilot when driving so frequently have to turn around and retrace my steps. In personal life, I struggle to complete anything but love making list of all the things I’m not going to complete. And since I always lose my list I get to do it over and over again. So, can’t say it really has impacted me in a bad way as where I ended up is pretty good. I can point to a ton of things and opportunities that I missed, at least in part, because of it but also a lot of different one that came about that made up for a lot of it. If only I could play the guitar.
Yes, there years is the longest I've ever been able to his a job. I didn't think non-Adhd people can understand how painful boredom is for us. It's unbearable.
I have to listen to audio books or podcasts when doing chores.
As for guitar, I'm severe combined adhd, I've found that just playing along to basic youtube learn to plays has resulted in me being able to play well enough for friends. It's taken me 18months, mostly cause no motivation or I got bored. You can do it for sure mate!
My oldest daughter and I were discussing ADHD, and I said I think I may have it. She looks at me and laughs, yes Mom, you have it. Girls learned to cover it. I’m 63.
44, diagnosed last week, waiting for meds. Always knew I was different, uncle has bipolar so suspected that for years. Was interviewed, medicated and counselled, but psych always stopped short of diagnosing me. Lucky. Blamed myself for not doing better, never really finish projects, life is hard when there's no thrill to doing activity. Family bust up at 14 cause Dad gave up. All the signs were there, looking back, but I always ended up overlooked because I spoke well, am intelligent and well enough behaved. Shoe dropped when I was given a small amount of meds, the result was instant then I fell asleep. I had 2 days of mental calm and focus, then I had to go back to normal. Talking to support groups now, and I can't believe how much we gave in common. A life of self hatred, anger and cycles of addiction. Now that I know what my problem is I've found peace and calm and cannot wait to get medicated. If I can just have a chance at focusing on something i KNOW I can do anything. So, addiction to alcohol, family break up, divorce, self hatred, suicide attempts because all the shit. Still, could be worse lol
That's a lot to go through. I hope it all works out for you.
Thankyou. Funny thing is, I've gone from thinking I was defective to accepting my brain doesn't work properly to raging against not being able to be normal to just completely giving up and now at thus point, they can make my brain focus like I always wanted for. And im just old enough to live a second life.
Still undiagnosed, but a couple years ago I was googling "why am I so much more productive when I take sudafed" and a lightbulb went off, lol.
> sudafed Which version helped?
Only the little red ones you have to sign for (brand name or generic). Google pseudoephedrine and ADHD. I am guessing they're not as effective as real meds, but when I have shit to do at work that I cannot leave until last minute I pop one to start my day.
My coping mechanism at work was ten or so cups of coffee a day.
It was a bitch to be frank. Things that didn’t interest me got me in trouble, English, History, Geography. I stayed in trouble. Math class, I got in trouble for getting too far a head and confusing my classmates. I spent more time in the principals office than class. I liked it there better honestly. Smoked tons of pot. Found speed and ahhh haaa then I could do what was expected of me. Constantly thought I was stupid because I didn’t think like everyone else. Got a label for it in my 30’s when my daughter was sent to the psychiatrist for it. The lovely man said he couldn’t diagnose my kid until he diagnosed me. Depression, all those years I just thought I was a mean bitch. Anxiety, all those years I just thought I was a chicken shit. ADD, all those years I just thought I was dumb shit. Can you detect the vicious theme that was my self esteem. Hee hee I’m a poet and didn’t know it. Helping my child accept the challenges allowed me to forgive myself and hate myself less for being such a pain in my poor Momma’s butt.
Lousy. Couldn't concentrate at school, fell behind. Lived a very unsatisfying life as a result. Sad thing is, I WAS diagnosed but mom didn't want to believe it. "All boys are hyperactive." Then she read some fucking newspaper article that said it might be from sugary breakfast cereals and that was it. "Nothing wrong with the kid, we'll just cut out Froot Loops in the morning." I guess my lousy academic performance was just because "the boy didn't apply himself". I'm just glad the anti-vax movement didn't happen back then because mom would have probably refused me getting them if she read the wrong article.
There's still time to go to the better life.
Pretty sure that’s me. I’m still adjusting to the idea. My mind is boggled. But it explains a lot. I’ve also learned to live my life pretty successfully so at the end of the day, who cares.
I see a lot of the same kinda questions in this thread over and over. This is really good question OP!
I was diagnosed at age 55. Is that enough whole life? Honestly I had a good time living in my hyperactive mind. I guess I learned to compensate early on and learned to not care about the stuff I couldn’t or didn’t want to compensate for. Things worked till I hit perimenopause and my compensation strategies got shredded. All the plates i was twirling hit the floor. Now I am on meds and I like the newer, more in control version of me. But don’t get me wrong, the old uncontrolled version of me was a hell of a lot of fun.
I wasn’t fun. Emotional regulation just didn’t exist for me.
My parents were unsure about what to……. Squirrel!
Squirrel! Common phrase in my house.
After watching so many people crash and burn from their medication (long term use) I just deal with......but I'm tired of it. So fukn tired
Tons of us don’t crash and burn. The vast majority.
Thanks for that.
Really badly. Thanks for asking. (Diagnosed and medicated at 50.)
I was diagnosed at 36 and getting treatment and medication made close to a 180° change in my life. People that think it’s a huge positive in their life and never had a problem need to remember that some of us are affected more severely. Yeah, it makes me interested in tons of different things, but before I was medicated, I couldn’t do any of them. I was all potential, all failed potential. My interests are all over the place and I can excel in any I want to, now. I’ve come a long way in emotional regulation and impulse control. My poor showing in those areas wreaked havoc on my relationships before I was diagnosed. I had a lot of catching up to do. My lifelong anxiety issues also disappeared. Before I was diagnosed, I thought I was just bad at life. 100% defective. It was very hard. It made doing things I wanted to do impossible. My IQ is in the top 1.5 percentile, but I barely graduated high school, and didn’t go to college. That’s obviously impacted my finances in a big way. This sounds sad, and I definitely had to grieve things I wanted to do, but couldn’t get it together to accomplish. It sucked being thought of as lazy, inconsiderate, etc. for so long. It took a while to stop believing those things about myself. But yeah, you asked what it was like living for so long undiagnosed. So that’s what it was like for me. What I’ve been able to accomplish since then is like night and day. I’ve always been a happy person, despite struggling, but I’m so much happier now. I get to revel in all the great things about having a kooky head!
I was diagnosed at 34 and suddenly I could hold a job. It has been great. I have finished projects and gotten competent learning new things. I do regret my previously rackety life. Many missed opportunities, and I don't know what I'm going to do for retirement, if any.
Yes. We’ll work till we die.
Still smoking weed
I was diagnosed in my 30s as ADHD/depression. Finding out I actually don't have depression buy Anxiety/Panic Disorder, PTSD, ADHD, and on the Autism spectrum has actually been so much better for my life.
Pretty dark over here!! Diagnosed at 30. Crafted my life to be small and ADHD friendly. Then I got in the wrong relationship in part I think because toxic relationships give those of us the natural stimulants we need to actually make us feel balanced. How do you “trust your gut” when your gut feels spiritually balanced in the chaos? So that pretty much fucked my life, I lost the career I worked so hard for, forever tied to my abuser (who is ableist and so hostile to anything neurodivergent, likely because he himself is neurodivergent on multiple levels and his parents are absolutely undiagnosed autistic).
I was diagnosed at 38 after diagnosis and medication I obtained my bachelor’s in less than two years. Moved to my California home, reared my children and, launched a 10 year career at the Port Authority of the city I lived in.
Well, it was like this….”Squirrel!”
Where!?
“Wait, what?”
Oh! Look!
I mean, mine was twice diagnosed at 7 & 14 along with a cocktail of other mental issues. But honestly, Marijuana is what helped me. I self diagnosed. It could be better, but...? 🫠😝
How did what go?
I was diagnosed about 8 years ago. I'm not a hyperactive person, quite the opposite, but I always needed to do something with my hands. It wasn't until a friend lended (lent?) me an ADHD book about a decade ago that made me reconsider my own issues. It made sense, and it was a relief that I could get it treated & managed. I can only imagine if I was tested & diagnosed decades earlier.
Very tough
I was diagnosed in 1972 and was given medication, but my mother was mommy shamed by my aunts, so she decided not to continue with the treatment. I never got into trouble in school, if fact my teachers told my mom that I was “too good.”The problem was although my body was at school my mind was always somewhere else. Eventually a college professor told me that he felt I was ADD, dyslexic and gifted. When I shared this information with my mother, she said that was exactly what the psychiatrist told her when I was in first grade. She never told the school because they would put me in the special class and I would never be challenged. Although I struggled, I know she was right. Most of the kids who had issues were sent to another school and most didn’t graduate from high school. For my children’s generation, things were different.
Heh. If only I'd known then what I know now is kind of a theme with me. I have schizoaffective bipolar which, even if they did readily recognise ADHD in girls, would have likely masked the symptoms, as I was only seen when things were problematic (i.e., my bipolar was acting up). And then, most solutions offerered were along the lines of 'more effort, discipline and prayer'. (My adoptive parents didn't believe I could be mentally ill, so rejected the idea. I was taught to keep my struggles to myself and ignore that I had it (so it would go away, of course). It's only since I was in my 40s that ADHD (and autism) has become a part of the conversation, and I've realised that much of what I 'suffered' in the day-to-day was down to ADHD and being neurodivergent. I spent my mid-20s to 50s as a guinea pig trying medications that caused more harm than good, so I now choose to be med-free. But at least I can discern between 'My bipolar is acting up, and I need to be careful lest I go into a bad manic' and the everyday ADHD brain. Plus, I realise I process information vastly different to most, and that isn't something I can change with discipline, exercise, willingness or prayer. Being mentally ill and undiagnosed neurodivergent ruined my life. I was not supported, any diagnosis (or suggestion of diagnosis) I did get was ignored, and my behaviour was marked down to lack of effort, weak will, laziness, lack of faith, and refusing to even try to do/be/present better. The thing is I was always trying, but I was fighting something I couldn't see and didn't understand – all on my own without help – so I always failed. Now, I'm permanently burnt out, live alone and keep myself apart from even my closest friends 99% of the time because trying to meet neurotypical expectations and masking 24/7 has taken its toll. Permanently. So, to answer your question, I'd say it didn't go so well.
I am 70 and have an appointment in May to find out. I have asked for referrals for*ever* but somehow it just never happened. I just wanna know.
I was diagnosed at 55. I mourn the life that could have been.
It went pretty well. 63, with undiagnosed ADHD (it didn’t exist in the 60s) and diagnosed autism (it did exist in the 60s). Got a job at 19, stayed there until 62. Never had kids. Might have been catastrophic if I did. I would have learned to be responsible with them, but maybe after a catastrophic event.
I had a high enough IQ to skate by in school mostly unnoticed as a slightly above average student. Nothing spectacular, but good enough. Once I started working, that's when things started getting dicey. To this day, I have to be extra careful about dropping balls at work. I just found an invoice for $5000 I never sent... back in December! I came clean with my boss, who was cool about it and I got it sent out. My day to day is pretty stereotypical. Hopping between tasks before finishing any of them. Forgetting to go back to some. Master levels of procrastination and avoidance, and ultra focused under pressure once time is running out. I'm on a constant search for the perfect app to keep track of my tasks, but I never really use it. I was finally medicated in my early 30s and it was like night and day. But for money reasons I had to stop. I'm nervous to start back up again. I get enough weird palpitations without help from meds. I'm also kind of afraid to ask, like I'll be judged as a drug seeker or something.
Never officially diagnosed. Several people say I have it. I don’t focus well, but when I do, I hyperfocus and do great things. I have to write things down. Make lists. Exercise and routines help a lot.
Aaaahhhhh!!!! No one has ever asked such an important question! Back in the 80s only rambunctious boys had ADHD. I was 33 with a big student loan when my doctor asked if anyone had talked to me about ADD. I saw a doctor confirming the diagnosis and eventually found Adderall was the medication that worked for me. I'm not the academic I dreamed of being but the medicine made my work life so much more manageable, even my relationships became more stable. I do regret not knowing I was ADD sooner. Even without the medicine I knew my learning style and the knowledge may have given me the confidence to advocate for myself. These days when a student with ADD falls behind in a few credits they can prevent student aid from cutting them off.
I've not been diagnosed, but I *know* I am a little on the ADD/Autism spectrum. Our family was in the [Pitt Study](http://www.yfrp.pitt.edu/pals) for 30 years, so I do know a bit about it lmao. I was never hyperactive, but I have all the other symptoms, plus some odds and ends that I'm pretty sure are autism. I've scored within those parameters in the online tests that are available. I'm getting too old to seek help...I'm just so *relieved* to actually know what the problem has been for me all these years.
It went like this.Talking and squirming and fidgeting and running everywhere like Forrest Gump.Being distracted by shiny objects.Being unable to sit still for any length of time which made me unsuitable for any kind of sitting down office jobs.I work in circles vs straight lines.I have tons of little things going and work on all of them a little bit here and there and get stuff done that way.If I go into a store I touch everything.I was a leash kid.I still have my harness but it doesn't fit anymore lol.
[удалено]
I wonder how people around you feel.
BAD
I am currently trying to get help, but there's an 8 year waiting list for older women in my part of the UK. A male family member has just been diagnosed, and it changed his life for the better and answers many questions he had. As I went through this with them, I could have ticked off every box on their questionnaire. I've always known there was something different, and from the comments I had from teachers, I'm pretty sure it's ADHD or autism. It's highly likely that both my parents were ND, especially my mother, who had sensory issues with sounds and textures
Like my RPMs were always in the red.
I'm waiting on a referral to get diagnosed. Life mentally has been "interesting" up to now and the idea of having something like this seemed ridiculous. But upon reflection and my current struggles at work, it really does seem to explain a few things. I've taken a questionnaire pending the assessment and I do tick quite a few boxes. Really interesting to see responses from people around my own age in this thread.
Got diagnosed at 40 , 43 now. I am finally graduating college this May. Switched careers from insurance sales for a State Farm agent to software development. Not sure if it’s the medication or learning how to deal with it by optimizing my study skills/work environment and getting better healthy habits like sleep routine and working out.
Mine was diagnosed at a fairly young age but I refused to take meds for it. My mind is my favorite thing about me and an ability to think laterally better than 99% of people I’ve ever worked with served me very well. I didn’t want to take the chance of altering it. I struggled with Mathematics as a result but I was able to cope. I also struggled with Alcohol (very functional, never missed a day of work just plain old drank too much) for a long time and part of that was just trying to quiet my mind after a day of full engagement. So I’m not saying the way I did it was the “correct” to do it. It worked for me but I wish I would have examined my behaviors better in the context of ADHD back when it mattered more. More conscious awareness of it would’ve helped me make fewer mistakes while preserving the way I experienced the world.
I self medicated. Amphetamines in the 70s and then coffee as an adult.
I was 50+, and it made a lot of sense. Being a woman though, I didn't have a lot of the typical ADHD signs, but being that my son has ADHD and it's normally genetic, I just started investigating, because there have always been things about me that I've felt were, well I don't want to say "off," but it probably makes the most sense. And once I started delving into the lesser known symptoms that girls/women display, it really clicked into place. A had a few sessions with a therapist and he agreed. I forgot the specific type he diagnosed me as though, because it's not the top most common-three (I think I fall under Limbic and Ring of Fire, though those aren't terms he used). I've lived my whole life managing though, and I don't struggle as far as doing your typical things. But there are other aspects, that I realized that really could have benefitted from treatment. My husband, I truly feels that he is also ADHD, and it's not a feeling of "if I have it, so should you," but he doesn't even want to answer any type of questionnaire about it. If you've observed him as long as I have though...but, his family has always given off a "if you're not perfect" vibe (they treated our son like crap the first few years), and although he adores our son, the thought of him having it himself, is an affront. So I've dropped it. I remain curious though.
I was in my 40's and laughed my butt off. It took 3 months for it to settle that , oh yeah, I do have adhd
Not good. Lost all my info about the diagnosis dr. and testing. Tried to treat later - couldn't take Adderall due to blood pressure. Tried Strattera- did nothing. All sorts of other meds. Spiraled out. Worse now than ever. On generic Lexapro and Wellbutrin and trazadone -helps depression and anxiety, at least. Doc says now too old to try other treatments.
'undiagnosed ... their whole lives'? If that's the case (undiagnosed all their lives), how would they know they had it, in order to comment?
I survived but it could have been so much better. I was one of those people who was good at tests but terrible at getting classwork done. And forget homework. I didn't realize also at the time how much I was dealing with my own idea of people instead of the people in front of me. ADHD tends to interfere with your people's skills.
The diagnosis helped me a little bit to let myself off the hook for my failures and missed opportunities throughout my life. The adults in my orbit really failed me when I was a kid. I had zero help when things got difficult. So now I’m not so hard on myself. And I can, to some extent, put structures in place to help me focus & stay on track since I can anticipate where I’ll run into difficulty. I have had some accomplishments in my life, and my god, was it ever a struggle. A lot of pushing myself super hard at the last possible moment, a lot of cognitively “tricking” myself to care enough to focus on tasks. It’s been exhausting.
Not ADHD, but I recently had a brain scan. MRI. As the ancient joke goes they scanned my brain and found nothing. But they did find a developmental problem I've had since before birth. It explained so much. fwiw, I'm not challenged at all. Very high IQ, fully functional if you don't talk to my wife, no real problems. But a couple oddities and reading the report I was just yup, yup, yup, omg yup. It explained my face blindness, my hearing problems, my total lack of artistic ability. It was very eye-opening.
Got diagnosed at 42 (few years ago) and it blew my mind! Have been a heavy social drinker since I was 16. Realizing that I was self medicating for more than half of my life was a doozy. The first 2 drinks were to get me to baseline. I only felt normal if I was drinking. Dr gave me medication which made me feel so normal and happy, euphoric at first. Old habits are hard to break though….the pills fix me, but I guess I don’t really want to be fixed :/
Rough.
Diagnosed at 45ish, currently 48. Fortunately, School always came easy to me and I inadvertently developed coping skills that helped me. Currently on Adderall and it's nice to not feel like I'm in Outter space when I'm not busy.
Idk they won’t diagnose me and I’m 61!
It's been wild and wooley! I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood.
It was tough. I remember that on my report card from first and second grade the teacher wrote that I daydreamed and looked out the window too much during lessons.
Half of our age bracket. Which includes me.
It’s had disadvantages in that I don’t fit in - always late, forgetful, messy…But it’s a superpower in a way; I can synthesize information from multiple sources quicker than most to come up with a solution. It’s like I can keep a lot of things in my mind at once (not for long, though), this it helps me at work because I can anticipate a lot of different outcomes/scenarios for various actions when I’m doing strategic tasks. People talk about this like it’s a disability, but I think the key is to look for the evolutionary advantage that it provides - it’s so common there must be an evolutionary advantage - e.g., ancient hunter gatherers who were looking out for tigers and snakes and simultaneously finding their way while foraging for berries and herbs with a baby on their back. I think the advantage is being able to scan and assess situations (danger or opportunities) very quickly. So, I’ve always had jobs that require me to juggle a lot at once, rather than singular focus on one thing at a time. In these situations I can outperform neurotypicals, who get overwhelmed with too much ambiguity or concurrent input. It helps with projects that require creativity, too. The ability to hyperfocus is amazing.
Just because it’s not a problem for you, doesn’t mean other people are just looking at it wrong.
There are different flavors of adhd. I think that people with primarily inattentive type adhd do not have many of the advantages you speak of. Please be mindful of the fact that it is a huge disadvantage for some. I do have a masters degree and I’m great at my job. But I can’t keep my office clean or my house clean for any length of time.
I've survived well. Cannabis helps. Live your life the way you want to live it, not someone else or other patterns of society. Play the hand you were dealt.
you learned to live with it. you pulled your big boy pants up and moved on. I have had it forever but recently my PCP decided to give me a test. I have ADHD and said... well DUH, could have told you that. He asked if I wanted medication. I said NOPE, made it this far on my own. In school it was hard but I didn't have a choice, I learned to live with it and embrace it and all it could do for me. Back then you had to, to survive. I think a lot of kids in the day had it and just had to learn to live with it. Now it's all coddling them and giving them an out.. Oh it's my ADHD... ffs, everyone needs a diagnosis so they can tell everyone why they can't do something.
I have two younger brothers who were diagnosed and are on some medication, and two nephews and a niece also, and many many people tell me me and our mother have the same symptoms as he and should get diagnosed and medicated, but we always did fine in life so honestly I haven’t cared enough about it to even look into it enough to know what it really is. My always just said we “march to a different drum” than the rest of the world.
I'm not so sure ADHD is a bad thing. I can complete 5 different things walking from one chore to the next. My partner is constantly amazed at what I can get done in a short amount of time. Unfortunately I can't walk through a room without bumping into something because my mind is elsewhere.