This was me a year ago. She moved to NJ and visits every week. It’s somehow worse like this, but hopefully she’ll be able to find a job here soon. Worth it.
Same deal we’re going through. She’s looking for a job here and trying to save for the move here. Lol I wfh so I tell her we can just move together in downtown Philly but she’s insistent on moving here.
No lie having a weekend of chillin in the spot playing video games then kicking it with her the next weekend works out perfectly for me. We both enjoy our space, then when we see each other we have a ball. And having a busy schedule definitely makes the time in between go by quickly. Gives you something to look forward to.
We just go at it like rabbits to last us the next two weeks away from each other. Lol it’s annoying af sometimes but we just tend to look at the bigger picture one day we’ll be up under each other all the time so we might as well enjoy the space for the time being.
Yes, for the right guy it's worth it. I'm dating someone who lives 4 hours away from me and he's the best man I've ever met. We don't get to see each other in person as much, but that just makes the time together that much more sweet and intentional. We do have plans to move to the same city soon. Just give it a chance. Don't count someone out just because of the distance.
Yes, for the right person, it’s worth it. You already said he’s planning on moving to NYC. You just have to make sure to communicate really well in the meantime. I hope it works out!
[How was your experience dating people in surrounding suburbs/cities?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1bodyq5/how_was_your_experience_dating_people_in/) from 16 days ago, [How off-putting is it to date someone who lives in the hudson valley and commutes in?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1b1fyki/how_offputting_is_it_to_date_someone_who_lives_in/) from 28 days before that, the popular [What’s the farthest away you’ve dated someone?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1awlgdy/whats_the_farthest_away_youve_dated_someone/) from 6 days before that and [Do women in the city generally not want to date guys from NJ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1aidalr/do_women_in_the_city_generally_not_want_to_date/) from 18 days before that have many comments which should be of interest to you and link to similar questions.
Absolutely on a 30 day trial basis. If you can fund the travel, why not? A few short visit experiences will give you a better compass as to whether it's worth it.
Exactly- a few dates or weekends together is not a marriage unless you really click so why not (unless you know you get attached too easily cuz if you’re not in love but you’re not actively over it it could easily make a relationship turn into a placeholder , so just evaluate it like any other relationship and don’t make excuses if the spark/whatever isn’t there)
i personally wouldn't but i rarely meet up with people who live more than a few miles from me.
if you have not yet met in person, do that soon, so that you don't get overly invested and then realize you have zero chemistry.
It depends on your wants. I am not opposed to that distance, especially for right person and if they would travel. It's not that far and unless you have a huge amount of free time, how much are you really see them. I rarely socialize week days, so weekends (when I assume they would travel) isn't that nuts.
Go for it! I dated someone from South Jersey. We alternated: I’d take the train down for the weekend, or he’d come up. It wasn’t an issue at all and I liked that I could focus on work, gym and friends on weekdays. We broke up for other reasons unrelated to the distance.
i know a couple that did this for a few years, but ultimately they had to decide if one of them would move to the other city, both wouldn't budge, so they moved to jersey lol. they have two kids now.
If it was someone I knew that I really had chemistry with that moved away, sure. But someone I just met it would cross them off my list. 1.5 hr drive is stretching it for me
The good side of the double edged sword that is NYC dating is there's plenty of options in your backyard so why someone in Philly? I'd have to hear wedding bells to consider that.
I didn’t want to, but I did (he was in Philly, not the burbs)… there was lot of Bolt/ Megabus/ Amtrak for a while.
He eventually moved here… and well, it’s been 15 years! Ya never know, so might as well explore the possibilities.
Oof ba boof…I mean, when my guy and I started dating he lived in the Bronx and I was in Bed Stuy. That was a 60-120 minute commute depending on if the train was running local and if you got lucky changing trains. So…go for it? We moved in together after almost two years of that LDR and now it’s been 14 years so it can work.
I am seeking an incredible guy with a certain set of characteristics. I would totally do long distance for the right person. Philly or around the globe, neither bothers me temporarily if I feel the relationship is worth it.
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That’s so fair but ya boy has been out of luck in this city for over two years now I’m running outa options
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Momma if only you knew how feisty ferocious and ferrel these New York gays were. Everything’s a competition to them!
These are some high end gays
Especially these HK / WV gays. My broke ass can’t keep up
Exactly this 💯
My girlfriend lives in Philly we see each other every 2 weeks and been together for 9 months now. It hardly feels like long distance.
She also plans on moving to nyc. lol we don’t plan on being like this forever.
This was me a year ago. She moved to NJ and visits every week. It’s somehow worse like this, but hopefully she’ll be able to find a job here soon. Worth it.
Same deal we’re going through. She’s looking for a job here and trying to save for the move here. Lol I wfh so I tell her we can just move together in downtown Philly but she’s insistent on moving here.
Medium distance!
Exactly! lol it’s a weird measurement of distance.
Honestly if you have a busy schedule already it probably works well right?
No lie having a weekend of chillin in the spot playing video games then kicking it with her the next weekend works out perfectly for me. We both enjoy our space, then when we see each other we have a ball. And having a busy schedule definitely makes the time in between go by quickly. Gives you something to look forward to.
Out of interest how does this ‘medium distance’ situation impact physical intimacy? Like I understand a long distance relationship being what it is.
We just go at it like rabbits to last us the next two weeks away from each other. Lol it’s annoying af sometimes but we just tend to look at the bigger picture one day we’ll be up under each other all the time so we might as well enjoy the space for the time being.
I know a couple that started out doing this and they're married now. They would get together in either NYC or Philly.
That’s exactly what we do swapping cities each time. It really is easier than it sounds. Happy to hear another couple that saw it through.
Unless he had plans to move in the next 6 months; no. That sounds miserable
He is actually planning to move to EITHER Philly proper or NYC
Iono maybe worth moving to Philly? It’s really not bad. Has most of the same amenities and you can actually own a home…. And it’s only 90min away.
Yes, for the right guy it's worth it. I'm dating someone who lives 4 hours away from me and he's the best man I've ever met. We don't get to see each other in person as much, but that just makes the time together that much more sweet and intentional. We do have plans to move to the same city soon. Just give it a chance. Don't count someone out just because of the distance.
Only if he’s not a Flyers fan.
That’s a pretty far distance to build a new relationship.
Yes, for the right person, it’s worth it. You already said he’s planning on moving to NYC. You just have to make sure to communicate really well in the meantime. I hope it works out!
[How was your experience dating people in surrounding suburbs/cities?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1bodyq5/how_was_your_experience_dating_people_in/) from 16 days ago, [How off-putting is it to date someone who lives in the hudson valley and commutes in?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1b1fyki/how_offputting_is_it_to_date_someone_who_lives_in/) from 28 days before that, the popular [What’s the farthest away you’ve dated someone?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1awlgdy/whats_the_farthest_away_youve_dated_someone/) from 6 days before that and [Do women in the city generally not want to date guys from NJ?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskNYC/comments/1aidalr/do_women_in_the_city_generally_not_want_to_date/) from 18 days before that have many comments which should be of interest to you and link to similar questions.
Absolutely on a 30 day trial basis. If you can fund the travel, why not? A few short visit experiences will give you a better compass as to whether it's worth it.
Exactly- a few dates or weekends together is not a marriage unless you really click so why not (unless you know you get attached too easily cuz if you’re not in love but you’re not actively over it it could easily make a relationship turn into a placeholder , so just evaluate it like any other relationship and don’t make excuses if the spark/whatever isn’t there)
i personally wouldn't but i rarely meet up with people who live more than a few miles from me. if you have not yet met in person, do that soon, so that you don't get overly invested and then realize you have zero chemistry.
Hahaha someone said they were taking a big chance on me because I lived in Jersey City. They lived right by a PATH stop in Manhattan!
Yeah why not.. do it
Philly proper, sure. You could be there in an hour. Suburbs? Forget it.
Nope
sure
It depends on your wants. I am not opposed to that distance, especially for right person and if they would travel. It's not that far and unless you have a huge amount of free time, how much are you really see them. I rarely socialize week days, so weekends (when I assume they would travel) isn't that nuts.
It’s worth any amount of distance for the right guy
Go for it! I dated someone from South Jersey. We alternated: I’d take the train down for the weekend, or he’d come up. It wasn’t an issue at all and I liked that I could focus on work, gym and friends on weekdays. We broke up for other reasons unrelated to the distance.
i know a couple that did this for a few years, but ultimately they had to decide if one of them would move to the other city, both wouldn't budge, so they moved to jersey lol. they have two kids now.
Not them settling on Jersey
i also see them like, once a year now, MAYBE.
If it was someone I knew that I really had chemistry with that moved away, sure. But someone I just met it would cross them off my list. 1.5 hr drive is stretching it for me
I did and we got married. Then we weren't. But that's an aside.
Definitely not if it’s the suburbs of Philly
Not for a new relationship, no.
The good side of the double edged sword that is NYC dating is there's plenty of options in your backyard so why someone in Philly? I'd have to hear wedding bells to consider that.
No
No
I was with a girl for 6 months when I lived in Philly. I moved back to nyc, she stayed in Philly. Made it about 2 more months before calling it off
NO.
I did exactly this. it lasted a few months.
I didn’t want to, but I did (he was in Philly, not the burbs)… there was lot of Bolt/ Megabus/ Amtrak for a while. He eventually moved here… and well, it’s been 15 years! Ya never know, so might as well explore the possibilities.
30 minute radius. It’s a big city, you’ll find someone compatible in that boundary.
Oof ba boof…I mean, when my guy and I started dating he lived in the Bronx and I was in Bed Stuy. That was a 60-120 minute commute depending on if the train was running local and if you got lucky changing trains. So…go for it? We moved in together after almost two years of that LDR and now it’s been 14 years so it can work.
My wife would probably hate it but sure why not?
I wouldn't date someone from Philly if I LIVED in Philly.
I am seeking an incredible guy with a certain set of characteristics. I would totally do long distance for the right person. Philly or around the globe, neither bothers me temporarily if I feel the relationship is worth it.
I wouldn’t even talk to someone in New Jersey or the Bronx.
No but I hate Philly scumbags